


Potions and Problems

by SerenityBaby



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Anal Sex, Death, M/M, Mpreg, Rape, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-16 21:24:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 227,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8118085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenityBaby/pseuds/SerenityBaby
Summary: Many things can happen in a bathroom and library especially between two school mate enemy's





	1. Chapter 1

AN:- Hi all! I love the pairing of James/Snape and feel that other should as well but that is just my opinion ;) and I apologies now for any errors I might have made in spelling and such as I'm dyslexic and have issues with spelling. Would love to hear what you think and without further a due on on with the story!! =D

Potions and Problems

Chapter one

James didn’t think he was a bad person. He couldn’t help that everything about the devious, conniving git rubbed him up the wrong way. Severus bloody Snape, even now he was skulking in the corner of the Restricted Section of Hogwart’s Library. As NEWT students approaching their exams, they’d both been given passes by their Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher to view some of the books in the Restricted Section.

Lucky him, just had to decide to visit at the same time as Snivellus. And of course he couldn’t back out once the git had seen him come in. So here he was, legs folded up on the desk as he thumbed through the book he’d found on dark curses, not taking in a word, not daring to take his eyes off the slytherin in the far corner of the room.

Severus could feel James’ eyes staring at him from across the room as he read his book and tried not to make eye contact with the Gryffindor even though he was finding it hard to do. With James sitting there it was making it hard for him to read his dark arts book which he found very frustrating since he had been wanting to get into the restricted section since he had heard about it in his first year.

“…Could you please stop staring” he murmured under his breath as he tried not to make eye contact with James and just keep reading his book, even though he must have read the same line over and over at least 30 times while he had been sitting there letting the large book slowly crush his thin legs as James had take up residency on the table.

James quirked a brow at the oddly civil request. “Oh, I could,” he said loftily, “but I won’t. I can’t trust you not to hex me when I let my guard down.” He surveyed the slytherin critically, dark, glossy hair hanging around his face in curtains where he stood, head hanging over his book. Why was he so fixated on the dark arts anyway? That unexplainable obsession the boy seemed to have was what James disliked most about him. It was unnatural for someone to be so obsessed with dark spells designed to hurt people.

Thankfully Evans had stopped hanging around with him after that incident after their OWLs two years ago, that put her out of danger of Snape’s dark, polluted interests but still there was something not right about him. 

“S’pose this is your dream isn’t it Snivellus?” James sneered, snapping his own book shut and sitting up straight, feet on the ground. “Up here with all these dark books and only me to stop you. Rumour has it you used dark arts your own father.”  
Severus glanced up from his book at James’ words and wondered if he should actually say anything back to him or if ignoring him would be the better option. But in the end decided to take the low road and talk back.

“Yes I do like to read these kinds of book, I like to broaden my knowledge of spells…unlike so wizards” he said looking at James before going back to reading his book with a small smile on his face as he tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear, getting it out of the way so that he could read better.

“Also if you believe rumours like that then you are a fool” he said not bothering to look up at James this time.

James leapt to his feet. He didn’t consider himself a cruel person. He never got any kind of satisfaction in hurting or tormenting anyone. But Snape, he was malicious, conniving, dark, he wanted the rest of the world to see that. And when the bastard had thoroughly rebuked any effort he’d made to apologise for his behaviour over the last few years, back when he’d saved the git from being eaten or worse by Moony (thanks to Sirius’ spectacularly stupid plan) his desire to expose his dark was only heightened.

In a rational world, maybe he was pushing Snape on purpose, maybe he wanted to see just how far he could go before the stoic, miserable looking boy showed some fire. But he was anything but rational. It was one of his faults. Another was how he delighted in seeing the Slytherin’s perfect composure crack at his words. He could make Snape lose it, make him show his true colours. That was satisfying in a dark, foreboding way he didn’t want to think on. He pushed it to the back of his mind as he stalked towards the slighter boy.

“Fool? Me? It’s Dumbledore that’s the bloody fool for letting you back in here after that! My Dad works at St Mungo’s – he saw the mess your father was in when he was brought in last summer. You were the only wizard for miles around it! What did he do to warrant you ripping his guts open on the kitchen floor, Snape? Dangled you upside down by your underpants, perhaps?”  
Perhaps that was a step too far, for the slender boy’s dark eyes flashed with rage.  
“Only someone like you would do that mister perfect pure blood” he sneered up at James as he placed a small tatty book mark inside the book he was reading and closed it.

“And why do you think I would be the one to attack my father? I might be the closest wizard in the area but I’m not the only one. Also have you forgotten most wizards can get around by other means like apparating or going though a flu network.” He said staring up at James as he placed his thin potions stained hands onto on the book he had been reading.

“And if I were the one to attack my father why would you care why I did it?” he asked  
“Because it was said no one had seen spells of the like before. And if you’re the kind of person who can create spells as dark as that,” James sneered, glancing to the book peeking out of the boy’s robes. With seeker-honed reflexes he snatched it up before Snape could even blink. Their Potions text from sixth year. He always saw Snape’s great conk buried in it.

He watched those dark eyes widen in horror at the sight of him holding it. James smirked and thumbed through it leisurely. “What’s so fascinating about a sixth year potion’s book that you’d keep it into your seventh year?” he mused, squinting in an attempt to read Snape’s diminutive writing in the margins of the book. Most of it meant nothing to him. But he knew the basic formula for creating spells when he saw them and the pages were littered with them in the back. Lifting his head to throw an accusation at Snape, he was caught quite off guard to find Snape’s wand pressed into his adam’s apple.

“Give that back to me right now Potter or you will be more than just half blind” the threatened snatching his potions book back from him.

“Why do you think that you have the right to go touching other peoples belongings, do you think you are just better than everyone else?” he asked poking his wand a little more into his adam’s apple as he looked at James and wondering how much he had seen and actually understood in his book as he stumbled to try and put it back away in his inner pocket out of sight and taking his eyes off James for a second. That second was all James needed to snatch Snape’s wand out of his hand and turn the tables on the young black hair slytherin.

"You're enough to make anyone fully blind," James sneered, backing the slytherin up against the wall at wand-point. Snape bared his teeth in rage and dove for him, but as they crashed together they tumbled into the tall bookcase and the aged shelf trembled, spilling dozens and dozens of books over them.

James swore loudly as he and Snape were buried under the flow but as he glanced up, he saw the entire solid oak shelf baring down upon them. On instinct he rolled forwards over Snape, the shelf smashing into him instead. He grunted in pain before the world turned black, his unconscious body and the weight of the shelf above effectively trapping (a relatively unharmed) Snape to the floor.  
A vase that had stood atop the shelf had smashed around them, spilling its contents, an oddly glowing, ethereal blue liquid onto the floor around them, rapidly mixing with his blood.

Snape looks as far as he could feeling the back of his head hurt from where he had hit the floor and had James throw himself on top of him when he saw the shelf fall. He couldn’t understand why he had jumped in the way to save him though.

“Stupid Gryffindor pride probably” he murmured to himself before turning his head and seeing the strange blue liquid near them that had mixed in with there blood and Snape raised a brow to it.

“…what is it?” he asked trying to free one of his hands to touch it before hearing the shelf creak above him and James as he moved and the weight of the shelf bare down on them more as Snape let out a small gasp from the weight before trying to call out for someone to help not seeing his wand anywhere, not that he could reach it even if he did see it. 

James awoke with a groan, his back and head and…everything throbbing with agony. With a wince he forced his eyes to open, lured back to consciousness by a slow, poetic hum. No they were words. Someone was murmuring in such soft, soothing rhythm it was almost like song. 

“Vulnera Sanentur. Vulnera Sanentur…”

When finally his vision focussed, he found himself sprawled across the library floor, a heavy bookcase pining him to Snape’s body. Snape’s face was inches from his own and those long, potion-stained fingers were wrapped around his skull as he whispered his song-like spell. The spell…it was making the agony in his skull ebb away. When he opened his eyes fully, Snape retracted his hand and the pain was almost entirely gone.

“Y-You…you…whad’you heal me for? You…” His words were slurred as he tried to get up, before he realised how heavy the bookcase was even without books on. He winced and squirmed, Snape’s body thin and bony against him. he blinked then as it all came flooding back to him – all that he’d seen while he was out. How long had he been out? It felt like forever and yet it could have only been a few minutes…  
“How did…? I saw you! Your…everything…” It was awful, like stepping into a nightmare, only it was so real he’d felt every tear that streaked down his face, every ripple of fear, every punch, slap, every bite of the belt. He glanced to the side and saw a mixture of there blood melding with a shimmering, blue liquid among the remains of a shattered vase. Is that what had caused him to see all of that? “Was that your life?”

“What are you talking about Potter?” he asked looking up at James having no idea what he was talking about at all before looking away from him not wanting to look up into his brown eyes.

“Now would you just help me to move this stupid shelf off of us? Believe it or not I don’t like being trapped under you and being crashed” he said trying to move out from under James with no luck ending up only moving a few book away from them.  
Staring into those dark, impenetrable eyes for a moment, James fumbled for his wand laying awkwardly under his hip. “Wingaridum Leviosa!” he grunted and the shelf flew backwards. As soon as he was able, Snape scrambled out from under him, seized his fallen book-bag and bolted from the Restricted Section. James had never seen him move so fast.

Swearing under his breath, he staggered to his feet, the only echo of the collision a faint headache thanks to Snape. Hastily tidying their mess with a few flicks of his wand, he winced as the sight of the now complete vase. What had been in it? The now dark stain on the wood was all that remained of its contents. Whatever it was, it’d allowed him to see (what he thought was) Snape’s revolting excuse for a childhood.   
Fuck. The things he’d seen. The things he’d felt. And he, James Potter, he’d only made it worse. Shit. He had to know, he had to know if what he saw was real, if the vile, conniving Slytherin he’d known for all these years was truly not what he’d assumed him to be. Vanishing the stain in the floor, he snatched up his own bag and tore after Snape.

His Seeker speed carried him straight through the library, despite Madam Pince’s shrieking “NO RUNNING IN MY LIBRARY!”

As the doors of the Library swung shut behind him, he glanced around the corridor, panting heavily. His eyes flew to the first year that stood horrified, apparently startled by James’ sudden appearance before him. “The black-haired slytherin, where’d he go?” James demanded.

The little Hufflepuff blinked rapidly, pointing at the door just down the hall. The boys’ toilet. Without a word of thanks he shot down the hall, through the door and warded it shut behind him. It was a free lesson of theirs, everyone else was in class or still in the Library. He glared at each of the stalls and saw that all the doors stood empty, except one.

“Don’t you run from me, Snape!” he demanded, coming to a halt outside the stall.  
“Why don’t you just leave me alone Potter and go hang out with your stupid gang!” he called from inside the cubical as he sat on the toilet with his knees up to his chest as if thinking that if James couldn’t see his feet he wouldn’t know that he was in there, even though he could already see James’ feet standing outside of the door.

“Why did you follow me anyway, why don’t you just go away and leave me alone. Or maybe you want to humiliate me in some way, add another place to your list of places that you have done something to me!” he called before hearing James hit the stall door and seeing it shake from the force and Snape pulled his knees up further.

‘Go away…just leave me alone you psycho’ Snape thought as he looked at the door wanting James to just give up and leave him. 

James hesitated at the sound of that accusation. But he needed to know. He needed to look in Snape’s eyes, eyes he’d always thought held nothing but malice and wickedness. But in those memories… He swallowed, trying to dislodge the foul taste that had settled there. He had seen nothing but fear and pain in those eyes. He needed to know what was real, to know if all these years he’d been mistaken, or if Snape was every bit as foul as he’d always thought.

“Alohomora!” he muttered, shoving aside the twinge of guilt he felt at the same time as he shoved the door open. Snape leapt up as he entered but James caught him, fist snared in his school shirt and held him in place as he stared down into his eyes. 

“What bloody spell did you cast on me while I was out cold, Snape?” he sneered into his face. “I saw memories – allegedly your memories. What was the purpose? Did you want me to feel sorry for you?!”

“I don’t know what you are talking about Potter I already told you” he said looking at James as he tried to pull away from him and escape from his hold only to have him tighten his grip on his school shirt more as he forced him against the wall of the cubical and he heard a small rip come from his shirt.

“And why the hell would I want to waste my magic on someone like you and put “memories” in your head? I don’t want you anywhere near me” he said looking into James’ eyes with malice just wanting to walk away from the Gryffindor and go back to Slytherin house and be able to read quietly and come up with new spells and potions. Try again to try and get away from James and watching one of the buttons from his shirt snap off from the strain to get free of his hold.

“That’s exactly what I don’t understand,” James sneered. “But I saw them and I need to know, Snape. What I saw, that ogre beating the shit out of that woman – that kid, was that kid you?” he demanded. Snape struggled, taking a swing at him that James dodged just in time. He slammed the boy against the cubicle wall hard, the ferocity of the action stilling him. He needed to know!

“Legilimens!” he cried and then he was hurtling through a carousel of Snape’s memories. A dark, twisted house of mirrors, each looking glass reflecting another horrid, torturous memory. He wasn’t a skill Legilimens, he couldn’t sift through to find what he needed but he saw enough. That man, the tall, dark creature battering his wife within an inch of her life before turning on the child huddled crying in the corner. Not just once. Countless times as the child grew progressively older.  
A flash of Evans as a child playing with Severus in a lush field glistened across the nightmarish memories. A glimpse of the moment their friendship ended. Then a vision of the Snape he knew now, taking a step back as that man, his father approached him with the belt. This time, the room around them exploded, the man was thrown back and a thousand gashed tore through his skin as if he were being stabbed by a thousand swords. Blood splashed across his body, across Severus. He screamed. 

But among the memories he glimpsed something…else. Something that made his cheeks heat. He gasped as he saw the images of Snape fisting his long, hard cock, watched him groan as he sought climax. 

“Shit!” James gasped, tearing himself back out of Snape’s head to find himself pressed up against him in the tiny toilet cubicle, his own hardness very visible to them both and straining against the fabric of his trousers against Snape’s groin.  
“What do you think you are playing at!” he called struggling to get free as their groins rubbed together and he heard James let out a deep shuddering breath.

“Get away from me you sick bastard I don’t want you near me!” he yelled trying to hit him away again only having James avoid all his clumsy hits before kicking him in the ankle watching his stumble slightly pulling his shirt and ripping the buttons off revealing his thin, bony and scar chest as he quickly tried to cover it.

“…look what you did! This was my best shirt!” he yelled looking at James as he continues to hold onto his school shirt. 

James snarled shoving the slytherin hard so that he stumbled back and fell onto the toilet, putting him level with James’ crotch – which throbbed at the proximity. “Me sick?” he hissed. “You’re the one whacking off! Getting all tetchy because I’m–” His voice cut short. Because the truth was, he was getting pretty tetchy, flustered, aroused over the image of Snape panting and jerked his cock.  
Oh buggering sodding hell. 

He was panting from their skirmish, as was Snape. Fuck. He was staring down at those dark eyes and it only made his cock harder. He licked his suddenly dry lips. Holy shit. Without thinking he stepped closer, closer than was socially acceptable and when Snape leapt to his feet in outrage, they were pressed together again. Only this time, James set his arms either side of Snape on the wall, his breath dusting Snape’s lips. Lips that were ever so slightly open. Vulnerable.

Snape looked at James as his eyes darted around not knowing what to do as he backed up spreading his legs to either side of the toilet wanting to get away from James as much as he could.

“What do you think you are doing Potter?” he asked as he held his shirt around him taking a few shaking breathes and still James came closer to him and he found it hard to keep trying to get away with know where to go to.

“…leave me alone Potter I mean it!” he yelled even though he had left his wand behind in the library in his panic to get away he hoped that his threat wouldn’t just fall on deaf ears and James would actually back away from him and not continue to try and do whatever it was he was trying.

James smirked, arousal flowing swiftly to his head, swelling it with arousal and hate both. He leant in, grinding his aching prick against Snape’s, relishing in the groan of arousal that he tore from him against his will. “It doesn’t feel like you want me to leave,” James whispered. He inhaled softly. Snape didn’t smell unclean the way he had always teased him. He smelt of nothing in fact, just clean, just soap as if he had rigorously scrubbed himself in an attempt to stop the cruel words.

James sucked in a breath at the thought, pushing through it and flexing his hips against Snape’s as if in contrition. “Come on,” he growled. “You’ve always given as good as you got.”

“No stop it!” he said putting his hands on his shoulders trying to push him away but the Gryffindor was a lot taller and stronger than he was and it just seemed to excite him more as he rubbed up against Snape’s hard groin and receiving a reluctant moan.

“I…I don’t want this! This is sexual harassment” he said in a shaky breath still trying to push him away and at the same time trying not to rub up against him giving James another reason to mock him and say things about him around the school.  
“Fuck, Snape, I can feel you want it,” James groaned, tugging the Slytherin’s belt roughly until it gave way and his trousers fell down his skinny hips to his ankles. James tore his own trousers open, pressing their erections back together with a thrust of his hips, a damp spot of pre-emission growing on his boxers as they rocked against each other. It felt so wrong, so intense. He grit his teeth, pressing his forehead against Snape’s as he felt the other boy grind back into him, at the same time as his hands shoved at his chest to push him away.

The line between love and hate – lust and hate, it was so thin. And they were pushing it to breaking point. He could feel Snape’s heat through their underwear and when he braved a glance down, he saw a spot of pre-emission brewing on the Slytherin’s peak as well. Fuck. Why was that so hot? He’d never so much as looked at another bloke before but now he was about to burst in his pants rubbing up against one – against Snape.

“Potter…why are you doing this?” he asked breathing heavily not darling to look down. He didn’t like the thought of being so exposed in front of someone let alone James Potter the king of the Gryffindor tower.

Snape gave a small shudder as a small breeze of cold air came in though one of the small open windows.

“Potter…let me go…this isn’t right, I don’t want to do this especially not with you!” he said pulling him away a short distance as he quickly lent down to try and pull up his trousers again to cover himself and wondering where his belt had gone as he bent down for his trousers.

That did it, the feeling of Snape bending down in front of him. The thrill rushed to his head and he reached down, gripping Snape by the hair at the back of his neck, holding him at the awkward, half-bent angle. “From the looks of that memory, you haven’t had it with anyone – maybe you shouldn’t be so fussy.” Drugged up on lust and power and desire, he yanked Snape’s face forward, grinding his cock against his cheek with only the damp material of his boxers to separate them.  
“You looked so fucking hot stroking your cock like that,” he murmured, not really realising he was uttering it aloud. “So urgent. Like you were afraid to get caught.” His eyes dazzled as he looked down, rubbing his cock on Snape’s face. This was new for him, that he found a man arousing – or maybe it was just Snape? It wasn’t really an issue, the man part, it wasn’t a taboo in the wizarding world. It was more of a problem that it was Snape. And yet he’d never been harder in his life.  
Groaning desperately, he reached around to the top of his boxers. He saw those dark eyes widen at the insinuation that he might pull away his underwear, the last remaining barrier between his face and that erection. But it wasn’t just fear, it was desire too. He saw Snape’s tongue dart out to moisten those dry lips. “Were you thinking about other boys, Snape? Nuzzling up against another boy’s cock?”  
“No…no I wasn’t” he said putting his hands on James thighs and trying to push him only to have his hair pulled at more as he let out a gasp and found his cheek against groin again as he heard him let out a hum of delight.

“You are sick you no Potter, getting off on something like this” he said licking his lips having them feel suddenly very dry.

“I bet you get off on doing this to guys getting them to kneel in front of you and look weak…it’s pathetic…your pathetic” he said trying to pull away again and ignore the pain from his scalp where his hair was being pulled at and somewhere in the back of his mind he almost hoped that someone would come into the toilets and stop the whole situation that was happening.

“Why don’t you just go do things with the werewolf or that damn dog and leave me out of your fantasys!”

“I’m not the one getting hard with my face against someone’s dick,” James snapped, before adding derisively, “And you’re the only bloke that gets to be in my fantasies, aren’t you lucky?” With that, he gripped Snape’s hair even tighter and dropped his boxers, sliding his cock along the Slytherin’s bare cheek and groaning at the feel of it. A thin trail of pearly pre-emission slid across the boy’s face.  
“I’ll let you suck it if you ask nicely?” he panted. Fuck. Snape’s skin was soft.  
“I don’t want that disgusting thing anywhere near my mouth!” he breathed trying to turn his head away as James hard cock throb against him and he shut his eyes nearly getting hit.

“Let me go Potter you queer!” he yelled before punching the Gryffindor in the leg in hopes that he would let go of him and he could make a quick escape out of the toilets and into the safety of the hall way not even caring that his shirt was ripped and he wouldn’t be able to keep his trousers up without his belt, he just wanted to escape the situation that was happening before him.

James' leg buckled and he swore, yanking Snape up hard by his hair and throwing him backwards so that he was sprawled on the closed toilet. With a glare he turned his wand on him again. "Diffindo!" he snapped and watched as Snape's clothes tore themselves to shreds, leaving his pale skin on full display, vulnerable to his enemy.  
"Very nice," James murmured, giving a low whistle of appreciation. The once scrawny, sallow-skinned creature had matured since their first year here and he hadn't even noticed. The slytherin was slender with slim muscle tone tensed beneath the pearly skin. "Didn't realise you were quite so fit," he smirked, leaned down, seizing the scrap of slytherin tie from the floor and binding the Slytherin’s wrists above him to the toilet system.

Snape gave a shudder as he looked up at his bound wrists and wondering how things had come to this and he pulled one of his slender legs up to try and cover himself not liking being so exposed in front of someone specifically not James Potter.

“Please…why are you doing this to me” he asked trying to struggle out of his restraints and just feeling his wrists hurt for the action.

“Do you hate me this much that you would do something like…this…to me? It bad enough you took Lily away from me, why can’t you just leave me alone?” he asked pulling up his other leg onto the toilet seat with him.

James stopped for a moment, his breath ragged and uneven. "Not because I hate you," he murmured, brown eyes bright and burning, "because I want you - badly." With that, he seized Snape under his knees and pushed them up to his shoulders, freezing them in place with a quick flick of his wand. He stood back for a second, looking down at the deliciously sinful spectacle, Snape's most private parts on full display.

"You must want me - you're hard already despite your protests." Leaning down, he slid his naked erection along Snape's - deliciously slow. His toes curled in his shoes and he groaned through his teeth. "You just want an excuse, someone to blame so you can forget yourself entirely..."

“No don’t do it, don’t do it” he murmured under his breath trying to get away from James with frantic struggled but were time be managed to move back an inch James followed with a smirk as if it was some fun game he was playing with the Slytherin.

“Why do you want me?!” he asked in a snapping tone as he looked at James.  
“You hate me I no you do, ever since I stepped foot in Hogwarts you have done nothing but bully me and almost get me killed by your stupid friend!” he yelled before taking shuddering breaths and looking into James eyes.

James reached down, cupping their cocks together and squeezing, watching pre-come leak from the swollen pink tip of the Slytherin’s erection. “Consider this my peace-offering,” he murmured. He’d been drawn in by what he’d seen of those memories. Snape wasn’t what he thought he was. He wanted to find out more.   
“I’ve never done it with a bloke before,” he muttered, the rush of having power over the other boy only heightening his arousal. He couldn’t help himself and despite how hard Snape protested, he was obviously aroused to. “You like being tied up, being helpless,” James said, smothering his free hand, the one still grasping his wand up so that his rough fingertips skimmed the other boy’s pert nipples.  
“No! No I don’t like being like this!” he protested even though he was leaning his chest out to James touch and he let out a small shudder. “I don’t like being tied up…stop it.” He said pulling at the restraints again and cursing that they had to wear school ties.

“And I don’t want your peace offering I just want to be let go!” he yelled as he drew his head back and snacked it down on to James and feeling like his head just split open from the contact, he always knew Gryffindor’s were hard headed and this proved it.

“Liar!” James seethed, squeezing Snape’s throbbing hardness tighter, swiping his thumb over the slit and smearing the fluid gathered there around and around. “You’re practically coming in my hand already. No one’s ever got this close to you before, have they, Snape? No one knows how to push your buttons like I do.” He pressed the edge of his thumb into the slit, feeling the long cock in his grasp pulse in reaction. At the same time he rocked his own hips so that his own erection slid in a long, sticky trail against Snape’s groin.

“Mmmm,” he groaned, unable to take his eyes off the tight, twitching entrance to Snape’s body. “Come on, I can make you feel good. Let me.”

Snape shook his head “No…no I don’t want it.” He said biting into his bottom lip to stop from moaning at the pleasure of James stroking his hard erection and wondering why he was getting so excited by the Gryffindor.

“I…I do like being tied like this…please…let me go” he almost pleaded with a slight moan as his hips tilted slight into James touch and a small moan escaped his lips for he bit into his bottom lip again and James smirked at him. Obviously happy to hear the moan.

“Hmmm, when I’ve convinced you,” James said, reaching down without ceasing his strokes over the other boy’s cock and caressing the furrow of his clenching arse. It was hot. He flushed and circled the tip of his finger around before pressing in. It was dry and resisted him. He flicked his wand and a clear, thick gel oozed down the crack of Snape’s arse. It was cold, he knew from experience when he’d used that spell to wank with and he glanced up to see Snape’s expression twist between horror and arousal.

James tucked his wand inside his robes and smoothed his fingertip across the tight little ring once more, smoothing the lubricant around, teasing it until it involuntarily relaxed and admitted the tip of his finger.

Snape let out a yelp as he gave a small thrash surprised by the invading finger and the cold sensation of the gel before looking at James.

“Don’t do it…stop now please I beg of you” he pleaded looking into James brown eyes. “Please I…I wont tell anyone what you did to me just don’t go in there” he said as his hips gave an involuntary buck and his muscles squeezed around the tip of James finger and he let out a moan unable to stop it.

James groaned at the delicious heat that clenched around him. His cock twitched, spitting a thick globule of pre-emission across Snape's pale hip in anticipation. He withdrew, pushing some more lube inside with his finger this time. He crooked it, circling round to stretch that slick channel.

"You want me in here," he murmured. "You're sucking me in deeper."  
Snape shook his head widely as he gritted his teeth not wanting to moan and wishing he could move his legs wanting desperately to close them and bloke out the sight of James touching him in such an intimate way.

“No! No that’s not true…and I don’t want you in there…I don’t want anything in there” he breathed as his erection twitched against his belly and a small trail of pre-emission trailed down his hard erection.

James twisted his finger just right, enough to make Snape groan out through gritted teeth despite himself. The man's erection throbbed as he caressed the tense nub within and slid a second finger in alongside the first. It swallowed it up, making an obscene slippery sound thanks to the lube. "Are you certain you haven't done this before, Snape?" James smirked. It was so swelteringly hot and tight.

“No…stop it…stop it” he murmured as his hips gave a small buck feeling James fingers move and stretch his insides as his body shuddered. He didn’t know if it was from fear or excitement but he knew he didn’t like it, it made him seem weak in front of the Gryffindor.

“Potter…no more” he said as he shut his eyes and turned his head away as his body tightened around James fingers and he let out an airy moan.

"Look at me," James snapped and when Snape ignored him, twisted a third finger in with a dirty slick noise that echoed around the empty bathroom. James was panting at the feel of the slick heat. It was pink and clenching hungrily around him. He wanted - needed to feel it wrapped around his cock like he'd never needed anything before.

Perhaps it was the power rush of having another man beneath him, perhaps it was the fact that his hate for Snape up until now had been so strong. But his hips were grinding into him of their own volition now.

Snape gave a shocked gasp feeling the third finger twist inside of him and hearting the wet set sound of the lube as James moved his fingers stretching him and penetrating his insides and he open one eye half way hesitantly as he panted and half looked at James.

“Stop…please…I don’t want this” he shuddered even though his erection was twitching wildly up against his stomach as if asking for more physical contact from the Gryffindor and Snape cursed his body for acting in such a way. 

James paused, staring down at the other boy for a moment before using two of his fingers to hold that clenching entrance open. "You're so pretty and pink inside, Snape, or should I call you Severus now?" James smirked, guiding his aching cock to the hole that he was holding open. The tip of his cock leaked at the feel of the intimate heat. He rested the swollen head against the open entrance and tore his gaze away from Snape's so that he could focus on the debauched, erotic sight of Snape's arse clenching hungrily, desperate for his cock.

"You've had a shitty life, haven't you, Severus? And a lonely one too, wouldn't you like me to feel you up so hard you'll never be lonely again?" He mused, pushing against that taut ring of flesh. It was still a tight fit and he threw his head back, groaning and shuddering at the pleasure as he flexed his hips. The head of his cock slipped in at the same time as he pulled his fingers out, letting that slick chute clamp around him unhindered.

FUCK! FUCK! "Fuck, you're so tight - stop clenching like that or I'll-" He slammed his hands down on Snape's hips to stop his wriggling, to hold him still and try to compose himself so that he didn't spill too soon. He wanted Snape to surrender and admit what he wanted before the end....

“NO! Stop! Stop it hurts!” he cried out thrashing around trying to get away from James and his invading erection and straining his arms against his tie that held him arms up already feeling his wrists starting to bruise under the unrelenting fabric.

“Your hurting me Potter please just stop this!” he called as a tear escaped the corner of his eye as he shut the tightly and his muscles clenched around James’ throbbing cock feeling it twitch deep inside of him. 

“Please…stop making my life even worse than it already is” he murmured

James stared down through eyes glassy with pleasure and flexed his hips gently, pushing a little further inside. "Mmmm, I'll take it slow, don't worry," he muttered, sliding his hands up and down Snape's sides, liking how slender he felt beneath them. He guided him down, going deeper. It was so tight it was near pain but so hot, so wet. "You really haven't done this before, have you?"

Snape's erection had wilted with his entry and he reached down then, stroking it in his palm as he eased his way in. "It'll hurt less if you relax. Let me in."

“No…I don’t want to let you in…I don’t want to let anyone in” he said with an airy moan as James stroking at his weeping cock and feeling it start to grow hard in his palm. The feel of James’ hand wrapped around his cock was somehow exciting to him and he couldn’t help but let out another airy moan as he opened his eyes and looked down at James’ hand on his cock.

"You will let me in," James whispered huskily, putting sensual emphasis on the word 'me' as he slid in to the hilt. He felt Snape's cheeks touch his pelvis, felt him tense there and those legs wrap around him instinctively, unwittingly. He pause there, breathing heavily and bowed forwards, his head tucked into Snape's throat. Years of teasing must've prompted Snape to increase his hygiene to insane levels for all James could smell was fresh soap and shampoo. Still stroking that cock in his grasp, he gifted the weeping tip with a few passes of his thumb and relished in the strangled cry that came from those lips.

Snape struggled against him as he began to nip-kiss that throat. "If you headbutt me again I'll bite you until you bleed," James warned. Snape said nothing, although he did tilt his head to try and escape the kisses. James groaned against his skin, using his free hand to hold Snape's head in place, punishing his resistance by rocking his hips into him. And as Snape cried out again, James lifted his own mouth and claimed Snape's in a ravenous kiss.

Snape let out a groan into the kiss as he felt James try to slide his tongue into his mouth but Snape kept his mouth firmly shut to the Gryffindor’s advances and he pulled his head always leaving James pulling on his hair as he gave a moan then his hips bucked from the action.

“…no more” he breathed feeling winded from the kiss and his chest pushed out. His pale skin out James’s tanned and well toned chest and his body gave a shudder to the contact before gritting his teeth as his hips bucked up to James again feeling James’s hard erection move deeper into him and his body tensed up again as he gasped.

"Open your mouth," James panted huskily, his hips undulating against the other boy's in a slow, even rhythm now. He felt those toes scrape against the back of his legs in an attempt to dislodge him and hold him close in the same instance. His grip on that erection, restored back to full hardness moved in time with his hips as he tried to coax those lips open.

"Give yourself to me," he murmured urgently, "open your mouth."

Snape shook his head quickly as he breathed heavily though his nose not wanting to give James the chance to try something the minute his mouth opened to breath.  
“No” he said though gritted teeth as he looked at James and tried will all his might not to moan at James movements and the heat that was rising up in his body. 

He did want to admit it but even though the pain feeling the young Gryffindor moving inside him and touching him felt rather nice and exciting as his head tipped back and be found himself looking up at the ceiling as he let out a moan and legs tightened around James back instinctively. 

James, who had never been refused before, tugged the boy's head back with a hand in his hair and sucked hard at the exposed throat, leaving bruising kisses on every inch he could reach. "Mmmm, you've never had a love bite before have you, Severus," he whispered in that ear, that name rolling sexily from his tongue, "now you'll have several." He punctuated his words by caressing the shell of that ear with his tongue. It flushed under his ministrations and he chuckled, pinching another bit of Snape's throat between his lips and lathing it with his tongue. 

Holding those hips fast, he moved them round in such a way, without breaking the connection between their bodies so that he was sitting on the loo and Snape was astride him, his hands still tied above his head to the system. It was an awkward but delicious position, James slid his teasing love bites down, marking the boy's collar bone and chest so that he could look up into his face as he did so. He could feel the brush of Snape's hair against his head. He rolled his hips up into that body, feeling the tension drain from it and merge into taut pleasure.

"You're fucking yourself on my cock you know, Severus," James whispered, he could feel the instinctual, slow jerks of those hips. "You want me in deeper? Deep in your little hole? It's sucking me in so nicely..."

“No…No” Snape breathed even though he could feel his hips starting to make small movements by themselves wanting to feel James go deeper and take advantage of him and he let out a moan, hearing it echo around the empty toilets.

“P-Potter…” he shuddered as he leaned forward to him grinding there hips together and hearing James let out a moan from the action before stilling himself realizing what he was doing and blushed embarrassed having let himself get so carried away with the excitement and pleasure running though his body.

James rewarded him by grinding his hips deep and hard, unwittingly brushing that special spot inside that he'd touched with his fingers earlier. He felt that hot, tight body spasm around him in pleasure and he sucked hard at a pert nipple, wondering if he could bruise it with pleasure as he had done with Snape's throat and chest. He'd never had such full, blatant control over anyone before. It was heady and Snape was so... Delicious, so defiant and unwilling to surrender and yet shuddering with pleasure at the same time.

"If I let your hands free right now you'd stay put like a good boy, wouldn't you?" James said with a teasing, lilting tone, holding Snape close so that he could feel that leaking cock against his belly as he stroked it and rocked in tip with Snape's hastening thrusts. "That's it, fuck your pretty little arse on my cock." 

He bit gently onto the other nipple. He'd had plenty of sex with girls but nothing had ever compared to this. "Uhhh, Shit, Severus, fuck me, fuck me, FUCK ME!"  
Snape moaned wildly as he felt James pick up the speed of his thrusts and his arms thrashed around above him wondering if James would let him go and if he did what would he do? He knew he should run away and get as far away from James Potter as he could but at the same time he was so dizzy from the pleasure he wasn’t sure he would run.

“Uh…Potter” he moaned as he rubbed his chest up against him before leaning but trying to take the contact from him away not wanting to seem like he was giving into James’s demands as he moved his hips and pulled at his arm restraints feeling his wrists ache more.

"Hmmm, shit so good," James whispered against his skin, littering any inch of skin he could reach with biting, sucking kisses. "Mmmm Severus... Your arse tightens around me when I say your name." He grinned as Snape groaned at his words. "So sexy." That compliment made Snape rock his hips faster into him and it occurred to James that no one had probably said that to Snape before. For some reason, after seeing those memories that had started all this, that seemed so wrong, that he had never been appreciated.

Had he really not noticed until now how pale and slender and sexy and brooding he was? James gripped Snape tighter and hammered his hips upwards, his arm aching where he was fisting Snape's cock for so long but he didn't care or stop. He moved faster, urging Snape towards completion with him. "Sexy," he whispered again, craning his neck to slide his lips against Snape's more gently, pleadingly this time. "Kiss me back, Severus and I'll let your arms go so you can cum properly."

Snape didn’t know what to feel at that point, he felt so hot and dizzy that his mind had started going blank as he slowly lent in and hesitated a few times with moaned before leaning in and kissing James deeply and feeling his tongue asking for access again and this time Snape opened his mouth to allow James’s tongue to explore his mouth and he breathed heatedly every chance he got between the kiss as his hips rocked and his hard erection jerked wildly in James’s hold unsure about how much longer he could with stand everything. 

James arched up into him, severing the tie holding Snape to the system with his wand and dragging the man tight down to him, thrusting urgently into his body with fervent need. He tilted his head a fraction, sliding his tongue over those lips and into that hot mouth. With the tip of his tongue he teased Snape's, caressing the wet latent muscle, coaxing it to toy with his as they rocked together faster and faster, teetering over the precipice of climax.

"Mmm so good, Severus, so sexy," he moaned into their open-mouthed kiss, his cock throbbing in agonising pleasure as Snape's tongue began to fight his back. Then, to his shock, those long stained fingers fisted in his hair.

Snape gripped onto James’s hair like a life line as he moaned deeply pushing his hips into James’s thrust’s as his erection leaked pre-cum and kissed James more deeply as he pushed his whole body up against him and feeling the friction as they moved.

“P-Potter…I…uh” Snape couldn’t bring himself to finish the words, saying he was about to cum to James meant that he was enjoying it that he liked having James inside of him and he would not give the griffindor the satisfaction of the thought.

"Mmmm nice," James murmured, taking his mouth again with a desperate, messy kiss, "Cum for me, Severus." His legs were numb and his stomach hurt from the intensity of their thrusting. His balls tightened but he wanted Snape to cum, just so there could be no doubt that he'd enjoyed himself. Panting heavily into Snape's neck now, sucking at the love bites he'd made there, he fisted Snape's cock and rocked his hips just right to catch that place inside that made the other boy cry out in glassy-eyed pleasure. "Cum for me!"

Snape shook his head as he bit into his bottom lip trying to ignore the aching pain coming from his hard cock were he was trying desperately not to cum.  
“N-no Potter Uuuhh” he moaned out even though his head was span every time James hit that special place inside of him and him erection jerked.

“I…I wont do it…I don’t do it!” he said even though his body was trembling begging for release from the over whelming pleasing that was rising too it’s breaking point.   
James sucked an earlobe into his mouth and bit gently, rising to his feet on pure adrenaline, legs shaking as he threw both him and Snape up against the cubicle wall and fucked him hard, fast and desperate, stabbing his prostate with every jerk of his hips and squeezing the leaking prick in his hand between their bellies. Snape had to reach up and seize hold of the top of the cubicle to help hold himself up but James didn't stop. He seized that mouth with a kiss as fierce and possessive as his fucking.

"Fucking cum, want to...want to feel you, cum all over me. Want to cum feeling you clenching around me!" James groaned against his lips, kissing him hard again.  
Snape moaned into the kiss feeling like his whole body was on fire as James fucked him harder and faster against the wall and he though he might black out from the pleasure.

This was it Snape couldn’t hold back anymore he feared if he did he might explode. Pulling away from the kiss Snape’s head flew back on his neck as he found his release and clenched around James as he came onto his stomach with a loud moan of pleasure.

James shuddered as Snape's body contracted around him and slammed his hips up against that arse a final time as he spilled himself within. He groaned against Snape's neck and slowly slid them both to the floor, their bodies still locked together on the bathroom floor. As they waited for their breathing to return to normal, James closed his eyes, listening to Snape's heart hammering hard in his chest. It was an oddly sobering sound.

With the rush of pleasure banished from the forefront of his mind, he felt some semblance of humanity, sympathy and guilt swell there. "Alright?" he asked softly, hand hovering hesitantly before Snape's forehead, before he plucked up the courage to smooth that dark curtain of hair back from his face so that he could gauge his expression.

Snape sat with his eyes shut as he collected his breathing back to normal not wanting to look at James for the time being as he calmed down before slowly opening his eyes to him and looking at him for a few moments before glancing away from him again.

“…feel better now?” he asked in a small voice. “Now you’ve had your way with me I guess you will be going back to your friends and telling how I’m more pathetic than before.” He said turning his head away so his hair would fall into his face and he was grateful that no one had cut his hair in quite a while in that moment.   
James smirked. "Not yet, I quite like having a dirty little secret," he leant in, caressing Snape's kiss-bruised throat with his callous fingertips. "And you were very, very dirty - Severus." Snape shuddered at the mention of his name and James caught that chin, holding him still so he could give him a more leisurely kiss. "You're mine now, you know." His eyes burned. "I'm a very spoiled only child and I don't let others mess around with my possessions. That includes Padfoot and the others."

Reaching down, he caressed Snape's limp, over-sensitive cock in awe before reaching back to feel that hole where it was still wrapped around his own member. He grinned deviously. "Roll over," he muttered and helped Snape to turn so that he was on all fours. He pulled out when the other boy's arse was in the air and groaned at the sight of Snape's hole wide open and filled with his cum. "Hold it in, if you spill any you'll be licking it up off the toilet floor," he warned him. Immediately Snape's hole struggled to close, twitching desperately to hold it in. James grinned. "Hold it," he reminded him, even as he slid a finger in of each hand, tugging gently to feel his spill sloppy inside, to feel those slick muscles working frantically against him.

“I’m…I’m not your property Potter” he said shuddering on the bathroom floor and trying to hold in James’s cum not wanting to feel it trail down legs as he moved away from James’s probing finger and resting him hands up against the cold wall.

“I’m not yours…you cant just control me as you please” he said not sure if he was talking to James or old shadows of the past before he arched his back down remember what was there and he quickly lowered his hands to the floor with his head down and holding his bum in the air hoping James would pay more attention to that.

James huffed at his fidgeting, sliding three fingers inside and massaging Snape’s swollen prostate gently until Snape couldn’t control himself anymore and his cum oozed out down his thighs, over his bollocks. “Mmm, nice,” he panted, his free, unsoiled hand reaching up and caressing Snape’s back. As he did so, the skin that was so smooth elsewhere felt different. He felt ridges and when he looked up he saw a myriad of scars across the Slytherin’s back from shoulders to waist. 

He froze. Some were faded pink with age but a few more recent, angry welts criss-crossed over the old ones. It couldn’t have been more than a month or so old. His eyes widened as he remembered the man towering over Snape in the memory, then the rumours that had gone round about Snape nearly killing his own father with a magical outburst. Holy fucking shit!

Snape arched his back away from James’s touch not liking that he was touching them or had even seen them.

“Don’t touch them” he said still with his head lowered looking at the bathroom wall as he lowered his as and curled in on himself

“Don’t touch them…don’t look at them” he said reaching his arms around himself to try and cover his back with his hands feeling James’s eyes looking at them and his hand still hovering over his back.

“Stay still!” James snapped, holding Snape down by his shoulders with one hand as he leant up to survey the mass of scarring across his skin. Snape twitched as his fingers ran across even the older ones. Sensitive, he assumed for they could never have healed properly with the mess they were in even now. The angry red and pink lines stood out vivid against his alabaster skin. 

Shit.

His own father had done this? Had been doing this since he was a child if his memories indicated anything. And all this time, I’ve been making his life worse, he thought, grimacing, recalling all the times he had taunted Snape or hurt him without reason. Yes Snape had always given back as good as he got, sometimes even started it but not always. 

I’ve made his life hell, he thought with a truly horrid epiphany. He allowed Snape to crawl away from him this time and just sat on his knees on the toilet floor, watching distantly as Snape tried to repair his clothes with his wand, all the time hiding his back from view.

Picking up his shirt Snape placed it over his shoulder before putting it on unable to reattach the buttons as he had no idea where they were having flow everywhere when James ripped his shirt.

“…don’t say anything…I don’t want your pity” he said looking at James as he held his shirt closed and feeling glad his shirt was rather long and managed to cover his ass and cock. 

"It's not pity it's guilt," James snapped matter-of-factly. "I'm sorry for the way I've behaved over the years, alright?" he got to his feet, pulling his trousers up and fastening his belt before repairing Snape's trousers with a flick of his wand. He handed them to Snape but the boy only snatched them with a dark look in his eyes.

"Why did your dad whip you?" he asked quietly as Snape finished dressing.

“That’s none of you business!” he snapped at James as he barged past him and out of the toilet cubical.

“Not all of us grew up with perfect parents who cared about there only child” he said storming with a small limp over to the sinks and turning one on and proceeding to wash his hands and face and scrubbing at his lips.

“…and it is pity you are showing me…you feel so sorry for me and that makes me feel sick” he said turning back to James as he followed him out of the cubical.

"Wait!" James called, throwing his arm against the main bathroom door so that Snape could not open it. "I meant wait I said earlier, what happened here, between you and me - it's just between us." He stared into Snape's eyes, their faces inches apart. Something had changed in the last few minutes. He didn't know how to behave around Snape now.

"I know you liked what just happened at least a little. Admit it."

“As if I would ever admit it Potter” he said staring back at him determinedly.

“Now move your hand I want to go and I don’t care what you say to your little friends about me. Just leave my scars out of it, the last thing I need is people running around hitting my back” he said. 

"You don't care if everyone knows how fucking tight your arse is?" James whispered huskily, only to have Snape punch him, hard, fast, straight in the jaw. It sent him hurtling backwards and clasping his jaw as Snape banished the charms holding the door shut, pulled his collar up to hide his abused throat and opened the door. A small group of third years were gathered outside as well as McGonagall, who glared at the pair of them.

"Fighting again?" she said with distaste, obviously mistaking Snape's dishevelled appearance and James holding his jaw for one of their usual brawls. "You fight like uncooth barbarians. Detention with Professor Merrythorpe tomorrow night, the pair of you!"

Snape opened his mouth about to fight back before letting out a sigh. “Yes profess McGonagall” he said looking at the group as the third years murmured behind McGonagall and Snape pulled his shirt around him more hoping all his new bruising weren’t showing. 

“I’ll…I’ll be going back to my dorm room Professor” he said his head lowered and McGonagall gave him a nod as he started to walk though the group of third years none of them making an effort to move and get out of the way.

McGonagall's stern expression softened a fraction at the sight of him. "Do you need to speak with your head of house, Mr Snape?" She looked at him thoughtfully. "It may be wise to speak with...someone about what happened over the summer."  
To an outsider, no one would know what she meant but to James, who had seen it first hand... He felt queasy at the memory. He watched Snape carefully  
Snape stopped to look at McGonagall once he had broken free of the crowd and he shook his head. “N-no…I’m just fine professor I don’t need to talk to my head of house about it” he said looking at McGonagall trying to act like everything was fine and there was no reason to worry.

“Really professor everything is fine and there is no need for you to worry over me. Your duties lie with your griffindors” he said looking at James blankly before looking back to McGonagall again.

***

Later that evening at dinner, James couldn't do much more that poke broodingly at his food. The other three marauders were laughing and joking either side of him, not noticing the furtive glances he kept shooting to the slytherin table. Snape was facing him, yet making a point not to look up from his potion's text. He had a slytherin scarf wrapped around his neck (despite it being an unseasonally warm night) and was dressed in undamaged uniform.

James fidgeted as he recalled what the other boy had looked like under him. He swallowed. So engrossed was he in trying to catch eye that when Remus laid a hand on his shoulder, he jumped.

"You've been awfully quiet," his friend whispered for his ears only, "Still no luck getting Evans to say yes to a date this Hogsmeade trip?"

James flushed. In honesty, he hadn't given a thought to Lily today. She was still as aloof and uninterested in him as ever and he realised how odd it must seem to everyone else that he wasn't trying to catch her attention as always. He glanced accusingly at the slytherin table. Snape still had not looked up. "Yeah, yeah I..." He looked down the table to where Lily was talking with her own friends cheerily as they ate. "Yeah. Was just thinking maybe I should give it a rest for a while - don't want to seem too desperate, you know?"

Padfoot and Wormtail were listening now too.


	2. Chapter 2

AN:- Again dyslexic spelling terrible blah blah blah ENJOY!! =D

Chapter Two

***

“Snape why don’t you get your nose out of that book and join the real world for a while” Lucius said taking the book out of hold and just out of his reach as Snape glared at him.

“Give it back Malfoy you know I don’t talk to anyone when I’m having dinner” he said reaching for the book and just to have Lucius move to further out of his with a smile seeing how much Snape wanted the potion stained book back in his possession.

“Honestly when are you ever not reading this book, you carry it around with you like you are some girl protecting her diary. You must have learned every potion in this book by now the number of times you have read the thing” he said opening it and flicking though the pages quickly. “Honestly you have even written little things on everyone of the pages. You are so going to get detention for this one Snape you no you have to return this book at the end of the year.” He said before Snape managed to snatch the book back from him. “All that and it’s bad manners to read at the table during dinner.” He said as he delicately at a piece of chicken off his fork.

“Whatever Malfoy it doesn’t matter and while I’m at school I’m eat however I want too that includes reading while I eat.” He said eating a small piece of sausage before opening his book again and continuing to read before feeling Malfoy play with the tassels of his scarf.

“…what’s with the scarf?” Lucius asked before his hand was tapped away.

“If you must know I have a cold coming on so I’m trying to sweat it out before I get it alright” he said feeling impatient before going back to his book again only to feel Lucius start to play with his scarf again a few minutes later almost as if he liked seeing Snape get annoyed with being constantly interrupted.

"You looked quite the state when you came into the common room earlier - get into another tussle with Potter?" Lucius drawled, dropping the scarf when it seemed Severus wasn't going to rise to his tormenting. Severus stiffened in his seat but did not look up from his book. Lucius glanced around them before leaning in, getting down to the matter he wanted to speak to him about to start with.

"At the coming Hogsmeade weekend, He is calling a gathering for the inner circle." Snape did look at him out of the corner of his eye then. Lucius smirked and steepled his fingers, propping his chin up on them. "He wants you to take the mark, Severus, to join us officially. What will you say? It is quite the honour to be asked before you've even sat your NEWTs."

“It would be a real honour to be made a member…but I don’t really know. Maybe it would be better to wait until I finish here then I could stand at the dark lords side full time” he said looking at Lucius and eating another piece of sausage.

“But I don’t know, I don’t think I would be able to say no to the dark lord if he asked” he said looking away and his eyes seem to glance to James from across the room for a second before he looked away wondering why he cared what the griffindor might thing. 

"The Dark Lord is not a patient man, Severus. For some reason he is taken with you, wants you for the inner circle despite the fact that you have not yet earned your place there," Lucius said with distaste and jealousy ripe in his voice. He had had to work tirelessly to gain his position, yet Severus had just walked in there and won the Dark Lord's favour. Students were rarely admitted. What was so special about Severus Snape?

"He also does not take kindly to newcomers walking in to a marking empty-handed," he said with a dangerous smile. "What will you offer him in return for his mark on you?" Severus shifted then and Lucius' eyes flared, he reached up and tugged Severus' scarf so that a huge blooming lovebite was visible. "Do you think you can pay him with your disgusting body? Is that why Potter looks so thoughtful tonight after your fumble in the bathroom? Did the sight of it give him pause for thought?" He pressed his thumb cruelly into the bruised skin before Severus shook him off, readjusting his scarf. "The Dark Lord will take great interest in where those marks came from."

“These marks have nothing to do with Potter and I also see no reason to tell you how I got them or what I will be offering The Dark Lord for my mark in the inner circle thank you Malfoy” he said glaring at him before shutting his book with a snap.

“And anyway shouldn’t you be thinking about moving yourself up the ranks before tell me what I should or shouldn’t be doing Malfoy? After all if I do take the position I will be higher ranked than you are so you will be under me when it comes to getting The Dark Lords trust and attention” he said resting his chin on the palm of his hand as his fingers cupped his cheek. 

Lucius sneered. "Take care, Severus," he warned under his breath, "fraternising with the enemy house could well damage your reputation with the Dark Lord enough to make him reconsider his favour." He reached forward for his own goblet and Severus, who was so fiercely ignoring him, did not see him upend a small vial into Severus' drink.

***

As dinner ended that night James doubled-back, giving the other marauders the excuse that he'd left his bag at the table. Instead he took a secret passage down to the dungeons just in time to corner Snape as he rounded the corner on the way to the Slytherin common room.

"Oi, Snape!" he called and instantly, the boy whirled to face him, wand drawn. He looked oddly peaked considering they'd just finished dinner and he was doubled over slightly as if suffering from a severe stomach ache. "You alright?" he asked awkwardly, not really knowing what to say.

“I’m just fine, what the hell are you doing down here?” he asked with a slight snap to his voice as he rubbed his stomach gently a few times.

“Your common room is upstairs with the other Griffindor’s remember. The dungeons belong to the Slytherin’s and if you are here to see me I don’t want to see you got it.” He said feeling himself break out in a cold sweat as James moved closer to him and Snape stepped back.

“I told you I don’t want to see you Potter. So just go away!” he yelled placing his hand on one of the cold stone walls to keep him standing up right and wondering if he might have eaten something bad at dinner that wasn’t agreeing with him.

"Don't be like that, you're ill, let me take you to Madam Pomfrey," he insisted, trying to take Snape's arm and guide him in the appropriate direction. Snape yanked his arm free with a glare. "Did I hurt you earlier or something? I didn't mean to you know, if I did. I've never had sex with a bloke before." He paused, staring at Snape calculatingly. "You came harder than I did, I couldn't have hurt you that much."

“Oh what would you no! You didn’t have someone ramming into your body relentlessly” he snapped with a glare. “But it doesn’t matter, I don’t need the medical wing and I don’t need you taking care of me because of what you did to me back there and I probably just ate something weird at dinner. Not everything is always about you Potter.” He said turning his back on James as he rubbed at his stomach hoping the pain would leave soon. 

"Don't pretend that wasn't the best fucking thing you've ever felt!" James hissed shoving Snape against the wall so that he couldn't avoid looking at him any longer. "I saw your memories, I know you're not everything you've shown yourself to be these last few years. You're just as human as me and you want someone to want you, just like everyone else." He set his arms either side of Snape and leant in so that their faces were scant inches apart. "You don't have anyone else, so let me in." Merlin only knew why he wanted to be admitted into Severus Snape's confidence but he did. Filled with morbid fascination he couldn't shake. He needed to know him.

“I don’t need anyone in my life thanks especially not a puffed up griffindor like yourself. All I need in my life are my spells and potions nothing more. You are no part of my life got it?” he asked with a glare.

“And my memories are nothing to do with you so just stop bring them up and constantly waving them in my face I no what my memories are and I don’t need you to tell me about them” he said looking into James eyes as he felt his skin pale more than normal, he felt like he was going to be sick and the thought amused him a little at the thought of being sick on James’s shoes.

"No man is an island, unless you're the Dark Lord," James said venomously. "You said it yourself, you don't even have Evans anymore. You have no one and if you don't let someone in you'll go down the dark path all of the death eaters go down." Severus was silent at that, simply glaring at him with as much hatred as always. James sighed, taking a step back and ruffling his hair in frustration, scratching the back of his neck. "Look. I know I'm hardly deserving of your trust but I saw, I felt how lonely you are. How desperate. Let me in before you go mad or worse - do something you'll regret."

“You have to getting something into your head Potter. I am a Slytherin and all Slytherin’s turn dark the moment they step into that house name, you should have none that right from the start. Even the quiet ones are darker than you wish to believe they are” he said looking at James as he remained propped against the wall and loosened his scarf a bit to cool down.

“Now if you are done with me I would like to head back to my dorm room and lie down on my best…oh and one other thing, stop calling me by my first name. You have no right and frankly it makes me feel sick when you do” he said from his place on the wall.

James winced. He knew he was hot-headed, had dived into that scene in the bathroom more vigorously than he should have. He'd forced Snape to do the things they'd done but he couldn't help but feel the need to force his way deeper. He admitted as well, he was shocked that even Snape had said no to him, over and over again, despite all they had done to each other over the years. No one said no to him, except perhaps Lily Evans. He grit his teeth. "Whatever you say, Snivellus," he bit back, but before he could say another word Lucius Malfoy and a flurry of other slytherins streamed down from the main hall and passed them toward the common room. Most of them paid no interest but as he passed, Malfoy paused and looked directly at Snape. "Semen can survive in the body of the recipient for up to 72 hours, you know," he said with dark amusement. "Take care, Severus, arrogant Gryffindor genes are hardly the ones you should be messing with." He chuckled to himself as he moved away, leaving James and Snape in the hallway alone once more.  
James rounded on Snape. "What the hell was that about? Freaks, the fucking lot of you," he snarled vehemently, bolting for the stairs. If Snape wanted to be alone, he could bloody well be alone. "And don't think I don't know where you're planning to go this Hogsmeade weekend," James called back to him. "You're treading a dangerous path, Snivellus, and there are only so many people that will offer you help before you go too far."

Snape glared at James as he left and let out a sigh “I don’t need anyone’s help. I get myself into a mess I will get myself out of it” he said before looking in the direction the other Slytherins went in and wondered what Lucius had been talking about early and why he would bright up such a subject but he quickly shrugged it off before starting to make his way to his common room thinking that he might just take a potion and go to bed early and hoping his stomach would calm down over night.

***

“Hey buddy your back. Wow don’t you have a face like thunder” Sirius said with a smile as he watched James come into the common room.

“Did someone steal your bag or something, you’ve come back empty handed” he said watching James upside down from the couch he was currently ‘sitting’ on with his legs crossed in the air.

James blinked back at him, fuming yet embarrassed at being caught out. "I didn't have one, forgot," he muttered, ruffling up his hair awkwardly. "I'm all over the place today, sorry mate." Remus was poring over homework with Peter looking positively white with worry at the fact he still hadn't managed to complete his own.  
"I've detention tomorrow with Merrythorpe," he said absently, thinking he should probably tell them. "I roughed Snivellus up a bit and McGonagall caught us."  
Sirius let out a bark-like laugh while Remus looked up at him out of the corner of his eye, still writing his essay. 

"Anything you could've done would only be an improvement," Sirius said uncharitably.

James gave a non-commital nod, not really listening. He knew exactly what Snape and the other so-called 'Death Eaters' were doing this Hogsmeade weekend. The person that called himself Voldemort was getting far too big for his boots and the Ministry didn't seem to consider him anything more than a respectable wizard with a few 'odd' acquaintances. Because they're all in his bloody pocket, he thought with distaste, knowing they had to do something to sabotage the meeting but not knowing how.

“James, please tell me that you punched Snivellus in the nose” he said looking at his before rolling backwards off the couch and stood looking at James. “I bet that big beak of his probably looks better for it” he laughed as Remus rolled his eyes at him.

“Don’t give me that look moony you were probably thinking the same thing as well so don’t act innocent over your homework” he said kneeling down and throwing an arm around him with a big smile before looking and James.

“And sucks that you have detention man, what us to find a way to break you out of there?” he grinned. 

"No," James said, a bit too quickly. "No it's fine. Another excuse to torture Snivellus anyway," he added with a smirk. "Listen, Hogsmeade weekend this weekend. There's another meeting, I want to sabotage it before they recruit anymore slytherin sheep from the flock. Ideas?"

The group seemed to be deep in thought before Sirius snapped his fingers. “How about a flooding charm I bet that would work great. It would break them all up and give them a well deserved bath” he said with a barked laugh.

“Speaking of baths you could use one Sirius you are starting to small like wet dog again” he said pushing him away playfully to try and get his homework finished for the night.

"I know a charm that could turn a room into a swamp," James said thoughtfully, his mind not truly with the conversation, but far below in the dungeons where the slytherin he did not understand at all was suffering in silence.

***

James couldn't explain why but he was actually looking forward to his detention that evening. The entire day he'd been on edge, anticipating what was to come. It wasn't even that he could say he truly missed Snape, for the slytherin was in all of his classes today (not that he so much as made eye-contact with James). He couldn't even say he'd started to like him really even, but he wanted to see him. Needed to. 

His skin prickled as he watched the back of the boy's head in each class, willing him to turn and face him. Why was he suddenly so interested in Snape? Was it really just the fact that he'd seen how difficult a life Snape had led? He saw the boy in a different light now, that was for sure. He supposed the only justification he could give it was that the other boy was more human to him now, more vulnerable, it intrigued him. 

It didn't help that Snape was probably the only person to say no to him. That in itself was infuriating and intriguing all at once. He walked far too quickly to Professor Merrythorpe's office in the dungeon for detention. He wanted to get under Snape's skin and he wanted to feel more of the sensations he'd felt back in the bathroom. But most of all, he wanted to make sense of the feeling burning in his chest. It was like anger, but different. So confusing that he still had a frown on his face when he reached Merrythorpe's office and found Snape waiting outside.  
Snape raised his head as he heard approaching footsteps thinking that it might have been Professor Merrythorpe only to be greeted by the site of James and he turned his gaze away again with an exhale of breath.

“So you actually showed up for the detention then? I thought you would have used your influents to sneak out of it somehow, guess I was wrong” he said as James moved closer to his and leant against the wall next to Snape as he looked at him.

Having James looking at Snape really threw him off, he had felt the Griffindor looking at him the whole day in all of there classes and it had taken a lot not to turn around and scream at and hex him to look in another direction.

"I don't have any influence," James snorted, leaning up against the wall on the opposite side of the door. He didn't take his eyes off Snape. The slytherin was always pale but he looked quite peaky, more so than usual. "You still ill?" he asked, trying to sound aloof, as if he didn't care.

Those dark eyes narrowed at him at the question.

“Not that my health is of any concern to you but I still feeling sick from yesterday” he said with a grumble shutting his eyes with his arms folded so he didn’t have to look at James and for once he was rather glad that the dungeons were always so cold, it made his feel a little bit better. 

James quirked a brow at the other boy's rigid stance. "Was I that good?" he mused and when Snape's head snapped to him in shock, he smirked broadly. "You're lying if you say I wasn't." He pushed off the wall and came to stand right in front of Snape. "I can be gentler next time, if you like," he breathed huskily.

“There won’t be a next time Potter” he said pushing him away and out of his personal bubble. “And if what twisted word of me saying I feel sick do you take that as a complement?” he asked looking at James not really caring if he got an answer to the question or not as long at he stayed away from him.

James opened his lips to argue but before he could, the door opened and he stepped back quickly away from Snape. 

"Nice and punctual boys," Merrythorpe beamed at them, standing aside to usher them into her office. She set them to work reorganising her potions ingredients, alphabetically, then by use and then by size. It was tedious, given the thousands of ingredients in Hogwarts storage and while Snape seemed to be in his elements, James was focused on other things. Merrythorpe was back in the office marking and had left them in the storage cupboard. It was ridiculously long and tall but the galley between the two long rows of shelves was quite thin, so thin that he and Snape frequently brushed against each other as they passed.

He licked his lips as Snape sidled past him to set the doxy eggs back where they belonged and stood perfectly still. That was, until their groins caught as Snape passed. They both froze.

Snape’s breath gave a small hitch to the contact and his gaze seemed to meet James just for a moment before quickly sliding by as if nothing had just happened between them.

“You should really hurry up Potter, you are falling behind and I will not do your work for you” he said stepping up a near by ladder and fumbling to find something on one of the slightly higher shelves as he felt his groin tingle from the brief contact between him and James.

"Don't act like you didn't feel that," James hissed. Merrythorpe had her gramophone playing loudly and last he saw, had twelve piles of marking to get through. She would not be coming to check on them any time soon. 

"You're not indifferent," he snapped, pressing in on Snape, trapping him between the shelves with hormones and greedy desires raging through him. He reached down, cupping Snape's groin with his hand and pressing firmly. "You're harder than stone down there. If you were more honest I might do something about that for you." His eyes were glittering.

“I’m fine get off me!” he yelled pulling his back against the opposite shelf and hearing some of the vials shake as he wrapped his robes around himself and glared at James.

“I don’t want you touching me like that Potter, I told you already I’m not interested so just go molest someone who cares. I’m sure most of the school would love to bend over for you” he said as he tried to ignore the tightness in his trouser from where James had touched him making his body grow more excited.

"What if I don't want the rest of the school?" James half-snarled, half-purred, moulding his palm against the shape of Snape's long, slender erection. It grew thicker and throbbed at his touch. He could feel the heat through the fabric of his trousers. "I can be very generous you know. Let me show you." 

Abandoning that pulsing organ for the briefest moments he tugged Snape's belt and trousers open roughly so that they both hung off his skinny hips. James' hand stole inside his underwear, caressing bare skin, his thumb pressing into the weeping slit.

“Stop it don’t do that!” he said putting his hands on James’ arms trying to push him away with no luck as James stood fast in front of Snape refusing to go anywhere as Snape bit into his bottom lip.

“I said…Stop it!!” he yelled before bringing his kneel up hard and colliding with James’ groin. 

"You fucking prick!" James hissed, cupping his balls with both hands and staggering back. Eyes watering, he dragged out his wand and sent Snape hurtling to the floor. He cast a silencing charm on the store room too, just in case they might be heard over Merrythorpe's god-awful gramophone and bore down on Snape. "I might as well be pissing on you for all the gratitude I get!" He snapped, seizing a fistful of Snape's robes. "Did you ever think if you weren't such a colossal arsehole I wouldn't have to force you?"

“And did you ever think that I might just want to be left alone!” he yelled wanting to get up but found it very difficult with James holding his legs down with his own. Not that it stopped him trying to struggle out of his hold.

“I have been doing just fine without sex of touching myself in life without you trying to change all of that! If you are so intent on doing something why not go do it with Lily, she says no you more than I do!” he yelled managing to free one of his arms from underneath his body.

Snape shoved him back, hard and James let out a grunt as all the air left his lungs and he was thrown bodily back into the shelves. They rocked ominously and the flask of doxy eggs Snape had just put back in its rightful place shattered beside them. James quickly threw the sleeve of his robe over his nose but it was too late for Snape, who had inhaled a lungful of the spores. Snape made a choking sound and was thrown back into the floor by a spasm of his own body.

James' eyes widened. The slytherin writhed on the floor in a fit, eyes rolled into the back of his head. Shit. Doxy bites were venomous and the spores from their eggs made the eyes water but they shouldn't have had this affect on Snape. Banishing the silencing charm on the room he flew out the door to find Merrythorpe.  
A half hour later found him sitting on the edge of a vacant bed in the Hospital Wing, head bowed awkwardly as Merrythorpe and Pomfrey berated him about fighting - then again about fighting next to volatile potions ingredients. Snape was out cold on a bed opposite him, his skin pallid and worryingly clammy.

"Look," he said through gritted teeth. "I'm sorry, alright? Snape and I, we push each others buttons but I never wanted this to happen - it was an accident! He pushed me and the jar fell." He looked at the two women in confusion. "I've never seen doxy eggs affect someone like that - is he allergic or something?" He glanced over to where the boy lay. "Is he going to be alright?" Why was the thought that Snape might not be okay so painful to consider? He didn't even really like him!  
Pomfrey and Merrythorpe looked at each other. "It's none of your business, Mr Potter. Mr Snape will recover. Now, if you please - I have a patient to see to!"  
Grumbling under his breath (mostly for show) James snatched up his bag and headed for the door, as soon as they turned their backs, however, he hastily tugged the invisibility cloak out of the hidden pocket and pulled it over his head. He shut the door quickly, so that when they glanced up, it looked as if they were alone. Quietly, stealthily he crept back to Snape's bedside and listened.

"You know as well as I Poppy," Merrythorpe began, her face and voice despondent. "There is only one reason for him to have a reaction such as that."

Pomfrey didn't meet the other woman's eyes, but she nodded solemnly all the same as she tipped a shining white liquid down Snape's throat. "I don't why a boy his age would take the potion to make it necessary - or how he managed to get hold of it!"  
Merrythorpe stared down at Snape's unconscious form. "He is the most proficient talent in potions I have seen in many years," she whispered, "and it is no secret of his miserable home life. Perhaps he wished to build a family of his own, however inappropriate the timing..."

James blinked. What were they talking about?

Snape was stirring at last and staring up at them in confusion. Obviously confused as to where he was and what had happened.

“What…what happened? Where am I?” he asked before sitting up and feeling his head spin like he had been standing on a round about for too long before he quickly laid back down again and looked about the room before meeting eyes with Pomfrey and Merrythorpe and blinked at them a few times.

“I must be in the medical wing…what happened?” he asked looking at the pair as he rubbed his head.

"You had a reaction to the Doxy Egg spores, Mr Snape," Pomfrey said, her tone sharp but her eyes shining with sympathy and understanding. "A reaction that only occurs for one reason. I ran a test just to be sure and have found my suspicions to be correct. All I can say, Mr Snape is that I am extremely disappointed you would make such a choice so close to your NEWTs. I had thought you more responsible than this."

James watched from under the safety of the cloak as Snape stared at Pomfrey in irritated confusion. 

"Suffice to say I stabilised your reaction - there will be no further harm to the foetus. Luckily we caught this before any damage was done - Mr Potter and Professor Merrythorpe got you here just in time."

Snape's face only hardened - as if he had no idea what they were talking about. James had a horrible thought that he knew exactly what she meant. She had said foetus, hadn't she? Why on earth had Snape taken the potion to get pregnant?! His own face twitched with anger and jealousy both. So that was what Lucius had meant! Snape had been with Lucius before him? Was the virgin thing just an act?  
Snape looked medi witch as if she was crazy and doing this just to gage Snape’s reaction but seeing the seriousness on her face be guess that was the case and quickly shock up ignoring the fact that the room was spinning around him.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” he all but yelled at madam Pomfrey as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and looked at her.

“I don’t know if you didn’t notice but I am in fact a guy and there for cant have a…foetus. Growing inside of me, unless I have an undeveloped twin inside me” he said as he looked at her not really liking the face she was making at him. 

"Do not be obtuse," Pomfrey said sharply. "You are one of the greatest minds this school has seen in decades, you know as well as I that there is a potion that could easily make it possible. What I wish to know is why on earth you would take it at such an important part of your academic life!" 

Probably a death eater game, probably as a sacrifice for Voldemort, James thought with distaste. Snape could look shocked all he wanted, the thought of having Lucius Malfoy's sloppy seconds churned his stomach. All this time Snape had been playing reluctant virgin to him, he'd actually been shacking up with a death eater - Malfoy no less. And probably Voldemort too, he thought uncharitably.

“I might be a brilliant mind but even I don’t know how make something like…that” he said with distain at the thought of something growing inside of him. “And even if I did trust me I would never in a million years take it. Trust me I’m going to make sure the Snape name dies with me not pass it on and as you no my family does have the greatest record when it comes to a stable family life” he said taking deep breaths, all of this was just a bit to must for the slytherin to take and he laid back on the bed about in a sat up position.

Pomfrey pursed her lips, clearly not believing him, and continued with her questioning. "In any case, I must be blunt when I ask you what you intend to do about this predicament." Both Snape, James and Merrythorpe looked at her.  
"You probably considered this before you took the potion, however pregnancy is very taxing on the male body - even after the potion has changed it to make it possible," she regarded him calculatingly. "You will need to take lots of supplements, which I can provide." 

Snape opened his mouth to protest, again that he had not taken a potion, but Merrythorpe headed him off. "This simply isn't possible unless you have taken a potion, Mr Snape," she said, gentle but firm. "You need to have been inseminated within 72 hours before or after the potion as well. The necessary organs all connect to your anus, you see so-" "He took the potion, he must know how it works," Pomfrey interrupted tersely. "You cannot have accidentally taken it despite the potion being odourless and tasteless - it is still a very difficult potion to come by - expensive too - ridiculously expensive. Indeed, that is why you do not see many male pregnancies though it is possible. Most cannot afford it."

“Exactly! They cant afford it what makes you think I possible could you twit?!” he yelled growing irritated as he flapped the sleeves of his second or maybe third hand robe around.

“And believe you me I will not be keeping this…thing. So feel free to go right ahead and rip it out of me, I have no intention of becoming a parent to this spawn and before you as no the ‘father’ does not get a say” he said glaring at the two women sternly as the brief thought of James standing in here hearing all this and screaming at him crossed his mind, but lucky for him James was not there (that he could see) and would never no about all this.

Pomfrey glared at him. "Watch your tone young man, I have been looking after your health since the moment you set eyes on Hogwarts - have some respect!" After a short silence, she spoke again, her brow furrowed. "I am afraid that the potion bonds with your magic to form the womb - it cannot be breached until the baby is fully formed and ready for delivery. Abortion is not an option." The sight of Snape's horrified expression seemed to finally reach her. "Good gracious you - you really didn't know, did you? Has anyone given you an unidentified potion? Didn't you feel your innards shifting? Mr Snape, if someone did this against your will it is a very serious offence!"

“I…I don’t remember taking anything from anyone” he said running a hand through his hair. “I mean…I had some stomach pains yesterday but I thought I had just eating something funny in the great hall and it wasn’t settling well in my stomach” he said looking down at his bed sheets and inwardly swearing at the situation, what the hell was he going to do.

“What…what should I do?” he asked no one in particular as he ran both hands though his hear and tried to think of anything strange that might have happened in the last couple of day with no luck, his mind was in to much of a haze to really think straight at that moment. 

Pomfrey patted his arm consolingly. The sheer horror and misery on Snape's face was too sincere, she realised he wasn't lying now. He truly had had no idea. "Adoption is an option, of course - there are many people out there who cannot have children," she said quietly, "Or there is support we can give to help you raise it. The paternal father - it will be a shock to him as well, of course, but he could be of help. It is his child too, after all."

For some reason, James' stomach twisted at the thought of Snape and Malfoy joined together by a permanent, irrevocable little life. Malfoy and Snape. It was just wrong.  
"Don't decide now, not alone," she said softly, stroking Snape's hand comfortingly. "Talk it through with the other father, you have 9 months to decide. I have a glamour I will teach you so that you can hide your stomach as it grows - maintaining secrecy will allow you more time to make a decision." She surveyed him with wet, sympathetic eyes. "I will give you the supplements - they are just as much for you as they are for baby. Come back to me in a few weeks and we will do a scan for you. You are not alone - Severus."

Snape gave a small shudder still not liking that people would use his first name from time to time. “I…I don’t want to tell the father…he’s an arrogant ass who could care less about my feels let alone the life of a non existent child” he said still looking at his sheets.

“Professor Merrythorpe would…would it be okay if I finished my detention another day?” he asked looking up at her with almost pleading eyes not wanting to go back to that small cupboard with James where he would want answers and probably start touching him again. Snape let out a sigh and lied down flat on the medial bed again as he looked at Merrythorpe.

"Of course," Merrythorpe said softly.

"I am afraid, Mr Snape that for your child to be put up for adoption both parents need to sign the child away. If you end up coming to that decision, the other father needs to be told," Pomfrey said, gently as she could. "Of course, if you keep the child... There is no law that says you have to involve him, but it would be advisable."  
“I can’t afford to look after a child. But at the same time I don’t want to tell the father about it” he sighed closing his eyes and rubbing his face with the pals of his hands a few times.

“What am I supposed to do, cant just my name be good enough to give it to someone else? What if I said the father was dead then it would count wouldn’t it?” he asked as Pomfrey gave him one of those looks that said ‘don’t be so stupid of course not’ Snape sighed again looking at the ceiling. “This is all way over my head.” 

"the document that signs the child over is magical, Mr Snape, it will know the truth. You don't have to tell him tonight," she said softly, "stay here tonight - away from the rest of the students and just...get used to it yourself before you have to involve another." With a flick of her wand, she summoned a fresh glass of water and pressed it into Snape's slightly shaking hand. "I know it's a bit of a shock. Drink this."

"I'd better go," Merrythorpe said as Snape slowly, thoughtfully sipped his water. "I am on corridor patrol tonight." She squeezed Snape's shoulder firmly. "Come to me tomorrow to finish your detention, perhaps we can discuss how I might be able to help you," she said, before making her way out of the room, leaving Snape with just Pomfrey and (though he didn't realise) James.

Snape took a deep breath before letting it out again and taking another sip of his water to calm himself before placing the glass on the bed side table and lying down as he glanced at Madam Promfrey.

“Sorry…for what I said to you earlier, I didn’t mean to be so mean…thank you for taking care of me” he said giving her a smile.

"You're quite welcome, Severus, I understand this is a shock to you," she said gently, patting his hand again. "I have some work to do in the office," she gestured to the small door to the back of the Hospital Wing, "no one else is in tonight. You stay here and rest." Giving him a reassuring smile, she pulled the screens around the bed so that if someone did come in later, they wouldn't see him.  
"Let me know if you need anything - I will be back to check on you before I turn in for the night." With that she disappeared from sight and James was left staring at Snape. Did that mean he'd fucked a pregnant Snape the other day? He remembered him suffering from stomach pains. He must've had Lucius just before? A nice little disciple for Voldemort, James thought uncharitably. But despite the bitterness creeping up his throat like bile, he couldn't help but notice how incredibly young Snape's face look when he thought no one was watching.

Inclining his head slightly, he watched as Snape stared down at his own body, lost and confused.

Snape sat quietly for what seemed like hours even though it was only a few minutes before he drew his kneels up to his chest like a small child and James could help but notice it.

“I’m glad my father isn’t here now…I don’t think he would let me live if he found out about this…I don’t think 10 lashings would even cover it this time” he said sadly nuzzling into the sheet covering his kneel.

“…and what am I going to tell him. I can just walk up to him and go ‘guess what remember that time you fucked me…’ Merlin this is not happening let this all be a bad dream.”

Seething with jealousy and rage, James curbed the urge to throw the cloak off and smack Snape straight in the nose. Instead he held his breath and waiting as slowly gradually his temper simmered back to a more manageable level. Still scowling, he took a seat in the chair next to Snape's bed and watched.  
Those long fingers knotted in the sheets in frustration but what James saw most clearly was despair. He frowned. Did Snape not want Malfoy's baby? Malfoy was the school's biggest whore so he had no doubt that Malfoy would want nothing to do with him. He'd heard Malfoy was betrothed to Narcissa Black, so he supposed Malfoy would turn him away and deny any rights to the child if Snape tried to confront him about it.

Voldemort was a problem for the man too, he supposed. If the supposed 'Dark Lord' found out he would no doubt use this against him. He stared at Snape's bare arms and noted that he hadn't taken the dark mark - not yet. That was something of a relief.

He paused at that thought. Why was he relieved? Why did he care? Gritting his teeth he tried to comprehend it. Yes, since he'd seen those memories, everything he'd thought about Snape had been turned upside down. He wasn't the man he'd thought he was all along, but a young person severely abused by nearly everyone around him. He felt sympathy, he felt sorrow for him, but that didn't mean he needed to be so possessed of this urge to get closer to him - or even save him from this destructive path he was heading down.

He's pregnant with another man's child for goodness' sake! He thought. But it didn't change how he felt. He wanted to help Snape - even if Snape didn't want to be helped. Because if he didn't, he didn't think anyone else would. Taking a deep breath to steel himself for what was to come he cast a quick, quiet silencing charm at the office door so Pomfrey couldn't hear and then pulled off his cloak.  
Snape jumped a mile-high in shock.

“POTTER! What the hell are you doing here? …how long have you been sitting they?!” he asked more worried about the final question as he pulled the bed up to cover himself.

“Don’t tell me you have now turned into one of those creepy people you hear about who watch people there obsessed with sleep” he said hoping that James had no idea that he was pregnant with his child. The last thing Snape wanted was the griffindor being around him all the time telling him what to do because he was carrying his child.

James just stared at him expressionlessly. "I never left," he said bluntly and that, he knew, was enough for Snape to realise he'd heard everything. Snape's face was ashen, paler than ever. His fingers were white-knuckled as they clasped the sheets like a startled child. 

"You might've told me you were sleeping with someone else, I thought you were a virgin," James ground out through clenched teeth, trying to sound calm.  
“I was you total ass!” he as he grabbed his sheet and stood up on the opposite side of the bed with his back turned to James and he clenched the sheet about his thin frame and half wondered how Pomfrey hadn’t heard all there yelling then realized James must have used a silencing spell.

“But don’t worry you don’t have to lift a damn finger with this…unless you somehow planned this right from the start” he said turning on James and looking at him across the bed. “But don’t worry this ‘virgin’ isn’t keeping it, the last thing I want is you floating around all the time.”

James felt the bottom of his stomach drop. Snape's words were like a punch in the gut. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open, dry and moving soundlessly as he searched for something - anything to say. He came up with nothing. Never in a million years had he expected Snape to come back with that retort - never. And from the look of pure horror on his face, he was telling the truth.

Fuck.

A baby. His baby. He was seventeen!

His baby inside Snape! Inside a man! It was only the other day he'd even really thought about men in that way, since he saw 'memory Snape' masturbating, since he'd touched Snape. Since he fucked him. Merlin, it had felt so good. So much better than anything he'd ever felt before. But now there were consequences further reaching than Snape's anger and his own guilt.

Oh Shit.

I forced myself on him, whether he felt pleasure in it or not. And now there's a baby. My baby.

Shit.

"My family are well off but the only way I'd be able to afford that potion is if I sold every asset in the Potter name," he said, his voice quiet now, quite unlike his own usual, self-assured tone. "Bloody hell, Snape, I'd have settled if you'd just talk to me, admit that you liked what I..." He cut short, scratching the back of his neck in frustration and panic, ruffling his hair unwittingly. "I wouldn't have done it - even if I could. That's even beyond me, forcing you to carry my child." He paused then looking at Snape thoughtfully. "Malfoy said something last night - that's why I thought you and he might, you know..." Malfoy could certainly afford the potion and easily too. 

James didn't realise he'd got up of the chair until he found himself at Snape's bedside. "It's mine? Really?" Surely this was all a dream? A cruel joke? There was no way he could be a father at seventeen. And to Severus Snape's child? Oh, Sirius would probably die laughing at the irony of it all.

“Yes. It’s yours, for what possible reason would I have to lie about something I don’t want” he said sternly looking at James and watching him pale with the information that was being thrown at him. The information wasn’t a walk in the park for Snape either and he wished that James had never found out about all this.

“And what makes you think I would ever sleep with Lucius Malfoy! I hate him as much as I hate you” he almost yelled before something snapped in his break. “AH! Lucius Malfoy that git he did this to me! When I find him I’m going to strange him til death.” He growled moving around the bed and planning to make a b-line for the door to find the slytherin and kill him.

James seized Snape's arm, halting him in place. "No - I will be the one to deal with Lucius Malfoy," he said darkly. He didn't know why Malfoy wanted Snape pregnant and with his child no less. It could be he wanted to punish them both for some unknown transgression, he wanted to use the baby in some sort of sacrificial ritual, he wanted Snape out of the way (for it was no secret that Malfoy fancied himself as Voldemort's right-hand man). Or perhaps the ponce was simply that bored with money to burn. He didn't know. He didn't care. He was going to kill him.

But the intense agony in Snape's dark eyes, his heartache and hatred for the thing growing inside him. It made James' insides freeze over. His stomach twisted in revulsion at the thought of what Snape might've done to the innocent life if he were able. They'd both heard Pomfrey, if Snape miscarried he risked his own life as well. 

Shit. 

But he'd be damned if he let Snape hoist his child off on some stranger. He stared hard into Snape's face. Snape might not believe he had any integrity or honour, but he did. He knew responsibility. He felt responsible for the growing life and he wouldn't let Snape give it away. His parents had never been able to have anymore children after him, a fact that had always saddened him. Children were gifts, weren't they? In any circumstances.

"Look," he said firmly, "I know there is a past between us, I know you hate me but this baby isn't to blame for all that. It's a living thing, innocent, you can't kill it - you know that. Pomfrey said as much. And I can't just let you give my son or daughter away." He felt quite nauseous at those words 'my son or daughter' - oh, shit. His parents would kill him. It was a world of responsibility he wasn't ready for, hadn't even contemplated! But he couldn't ignore it now. Not when Snape was so set against it. He was that tiny baby's only hope.

Merlin help him.

"If you really don't want it," he said after Snape had been staring at him in enraged silence and shock for too long, "You heard Pomfrey, we can do a glamour to hide it and once it's born... You can just go on as if it never happened. It's my child as well and I will raise it by myself if you want to get rid of it so much." He let Snape go then holding his gaze unwaveringly. "No one has to know you and I were even involved. I'll make something up - I'll find a way but you can't get just pass it on to someone else. It's not just your life Lucius Malfoy has fucked with."

“Really? Cause I think I’m the one who’s been fucked here in more ways than one” he said looking at James as he wrapped his blanket around him and moved back over to his bed sitting on the edge of it looking down at his lap.

“I have this happening and don’t seem to understand the meaning of no and fucked me putting me in this situation so its safe to say I’m not very happy right now!” he said angrily taking a deep breath and rubbing at his stomach thinking he shouldn’t be getting so stressed with everything but it was hard not too.

Fuck this is so dumb

“Maybe you should just go…there is no reason for you to be here right now…you don’t what your friends thinking there is actually something going on with us” he said finally looking up at James as he moved his white blanket up over his head as if to hide from his sight a bit. 

James frowned. "I didn't know this would happen - how was I supposed to guess that Malfoy would slip you a potion?" That wasn't the point of Snape had said though and he knew it. Grinding his teeth in release of his frustration, he forced himself to come to terms with the truth. He had forced Snape, whether he had enjoyed it physically or not. And now he was asking him to care for the product of that unwanted union.

"I'm sorry," he whispered out, his voice low and solemn. "I didn't think.." His cheeks flushed. "I felt your body reacting, I thought that you wanted..." He stopped. No. He'd known on some level Snape hadn't wanted him. He couldn't start this with lies. There really was no explanation for his behaviour. "I wanted you," he said in the end, not knowing what else to say but the blunt truth. "I saw what you looked like in your memories, wanking and I wanted you. And when you said no to me it only made me want you more - because no one says no to me, because you challenge me and don't let me do what the fuck I want."

Moving back to sit in the chair beside Snape's bed, he watched the boy's expression as he processed James' words. "I was selfish and I didn't... I really thought if I made you feel good I could make you want me. I'm sorry and I'm sorry that Malfoy gave you that potion and gave you a constant reminder of my mistake. But this baby is a victim here too and if you don't want it, I will take it when it's born and you can go back to your life as if nothing happened."

Snape let out a sigh as pulled his legs up to chest and toes clung to the edge of the bed as he processed everything. “You keep bringing up the fact that you saw me…wanking” he said with a blush. “But I guess you didn’t see that whole memory or you wouldn’t have done what you did to me” he said glancing at James before looking away from him.

“But I guess it doesn’t matter now this situation is what it is…and if you do take the…baby. Tell how are you going to explain that to friends? I’m just dying to know” he asked turning to James with a small smile really wanting to no the answer to that question and knowing it would probably be along the lines of it was a one time fling with a girl.

James swallowed. He was a typical headstrong Gryffindor that barrelled in doing what he thought was right. He wasn't too sure how he would handle his friends, or his parents for that matter. Sirius and Remus at least knew everything about him. Everything except this, with Snape. But he had inadvertently fucked up Snape's life, making amends for that and doing the right thing by his child was more important than his friends knowing everything. 

Quite soberly, he met Snape's dark eyes. "It's no one else's business. I'll say his or her 'mother' wasn't able to deal with it at the time. It doesn't need to be discussed further than that. And as for the baby itself, well, we would have to decide together what you wanted me to tell it."

“Just do what you want with it” he said rubbing his feet together on the edge of the bed. “It’s not like I really care about what happens to it…and there is no possible way I could support a child even if I did want to keep it.” He said looking down at his toes as he rubbed them together not looking at James but feeling his eyes looking at him.

“And I don’t see that you would let a ‘dark wizard’ raise the child of a Potter bloodline either.”

James' face hardened. "It'll be your child too," he said firmly, "I said I was wrong about you before, alright? I know I was wrong and I may be pigheaded but when I'm wrong I admit it. You're not a dark wizard, though you might pretend to be. And I have money, not enough to go wasting on potions to get someone who hates me pregnant but the Potter wealth isn't something to be sneered at. If you wanted to, I would support you and it."

Snape looked positively sick at the thought of living off his money. James grit his teeth. "It's my son or daughter, I would support it if you decided you wanted to be more involved. But you have months to decide anyway." He should leave Snape be for a while, he clearly needed some time to think this life changing news over by himself. But James didn't want to leave for some reason.

“You can say whatever you want Potter but at the end of all this I still wont want the child…or your company” he said moving on the bed the throw his legs onto the other side before standing and moving over to a share and dropping the sheet around him to the floor.

“Now if you don’t mind I would really like to change for bed without you getting on my case about everything” be said with his back turned to James as he fumbled to undo the button’s on his shirt before letting it slid off his thin frame revealing the belt mark on his back again as he moved to pick up his pyjama top.

All the air left James' lungs at the sight of the lacerations on Snape's back. There was nothing he could do or say to make the hurt he'd suffered disappear. It was no wonder the boy had grown up so bitter and hungry for power, power to ensure he never had to suffer that kind of abuse again. I abused him, James thought, in a different way. He owed Snape some privacy now, at the very least.

"As much as I disagree with abortions, I'm sorry that it's not possible for you to have one - not for me, for you. I know it will be hard for you, even if no one except me ever finds out." He headed for the door. "Just so you know, I won't let you go to Voldemort this weekend. And if you try with my child in you, I will stop you." He stared hard at Snape from the doorway. "You know as well as I if he finds out you and the baby will be used for sport or worse."

“You cant stop me going to him Potter” he turning to look at James with a glare as he slip his shirt on that was too big for his small frame and found it hung off one shoulder.

“And it’s not like you can just follow me around all day with your friends because eventually they will want to do something to me and if you say no to them they will want to no why” he said “and another thing, this is my body I can take it anywhere I damn well please without your say so weather its to Voldemort or not!” he yelled watching James as he stood in the door way. 

James smiled broadly, frighteningly beautifully. "You can take it wherever you want, but you won't take it anywhere near Voldemort while my child is inside it. If you try, I WILL stop you," he said again simply and with that, banished the silencing spell he'd cast earlier and slipped out the door.

***

Snape was only half right. True, he couldn't follow him around all day but that wasn't necessary when Snape was only allowed out of the castle on Hogsmeade weekends. He was wrong about his friends wanting to do something if they were around him, they were secretly following Snape now and Sirius and the others seemed quite content on the fact that they were about to sabotage a Death Eater meeting. They weren't even thinking about Snape.

James looked to the side. Sirius was positively gleeful as they snuck around the back of the building the meeting would be held in. Remus was flicking through the book he'd brought, Peter just looked happy to be included.

"This incantation will start the swamp," Remus mused, pointing to the words on the page.

James nodded. Voldemort wasn't there yet but Malfoy and the others had just gone in. They had cut ahead of Snape to get here first and he fully intended the swamp to have banished the Death Eaters before Snape got here.

“Oh chest it out Malfoy’s here. Aw and look, he’s primping himself for Voldemort isn’t that cute” he grinned at James knowing he wanted nothing more that to ruin that perfect white blonde hair of his.

“You think that we should start the spell now?” Remus asked as he held the book open in place and looked that the gathering.

“No! We cant start yet, Snivillus isn’t here yet and I want to see him sink into this swamp with all the others as well” he said with a barked laugh as he looked around hoping to see the young slytherin coming.

"Let's get it over with before Voldemort comes," James said quickly, snatching the book off Remus and raising his wand. The bastard wasn't all powerful but he was growing stronger and stronger. It would be easier if they foiled his plans before he graced his followers with his presence. Opening the window quietly he directed his wand inside and began to chant quietly. 

Malfoy and the others were already gathered inside. Snape was nowhere to be seen. By the time he got here, Malfoy and the others would be picking swamp out of their hair. He smirked. It was an obscure spell that not many knew about, they wouldn't be able to banish it on their own - not without knowing the exact spell. Remus' voice mimicked the incantation and soon enough, the other two marauders joined.  
The swamp began as a disgusting brown-green sludge on the floor, steadily spreading and growing until it erupted upwards. Malfoy's scream of indignation as he found himself neck-deep in stagnant water was but a few of the sounds heard. The four marauders ducked down and listened. The trees and water and sludge would only stay inside the house of course but the death eaters had to escape the swamp first to leave. 

James couldn't decide what was more satisfying, ruining Voldemort's meeting before he'd even arrived or pissing off Malfoy.

"Look!" Sirius whispered. "There's Snivellus!" 

James' head whipped round just in time to see Snape walking towards the house, Sirius with his wand raised.

"No!" he hissed, seizing Sirius' arm. "Leave him."

“What the hell James why are you stopping me?” he asked turning his attention away from Snape and focusing it on James. “We can’t just leave him untouched we have to do something to him as well.” He said as Remus raised a brow finding it strange that James would stop Sirius from doing something to Snape.

“Come on prongs how about just a little spell to make him fall down a whole or something. Or better yet we could hang him upside down again and then steal his trouser! I would love to see him walk back though town like that” Sirius said with a big smile on his face.

"No," James said. Voice hard, unmoveable like stone. He carded his fingers through his hair. "McGonagall said she'd hold me personally responsible if anything more happened to Snape at Hogwarts," he lied. "I can't afford anything to happen to him. Leave him be."

No sooner had he finished speaking that the door on the other side flew open and several death eaters stumbled out into the cold air, spluttering and choking on swamp water. The Marauders ducked even lower, just to be sure they wouldn't be seen. James saw Snape stop at the sight of the death eaters sprawled across the floor and no doubt the swamp he could see through the open doorway.

Snape looked around knowing this had to be the work of The Marauders and James inperticular but saw them know where in sight as he neared the few death eaters that had managed to escape the now indoor swamp.

“Oh come on prongs one little spell couldn’t hurt and no one will ever no it was us and seriously what could McGonagall do to you? Put you in detention ooo as if we haven’t been in hundreds of those over the years” he said with a big as he took his wand arm back.

“Besides when have you ever let a threat from old McGonagall stop you picking on Snivallus?”

James' grip tightened on Sirius' wand arm. "I mean it, Sirius. All of you. Snape is off limits. Leave him be." He looked at each of his friends in turn before staring hard into Sirius' face. For some time he didn't move. Eventually he gave a grunt of displeasure and lowered his wand, clearly annoyed with James' decision but not saying a word.

The CRACK of the first Death Eater disapparating, swiftly followed by the others. The swamp still remained and so did Snape, staring at the building, evidently enraged. He knows it was me, James thought with satisfaction, edging round the other side of the building so Snape wouldn't see him and the others leave.  
Snape stood there in silence for some time, that was until a familiar voice dragged him back from his reverie.

"Severus?" Lily called, surprised to see him. She looked awkwardly between him and the swamp visible through the doorway. "Did you do this?"

“Lily” he said looking at her a little surprised, mostly surprised just to hear her talking to him but he quickly shook his head.

“No I didn’t do this, you really think I would no or do a childish spell like this?” he asked with a smile as he pointed behind himself before looking back to Lily. “But what are you doing all the way out here I thought you would be in the hogshead with your friends having butter beer” he smiled at her before thinking butter beer sounded really good in that moment.

Lily smiled awkwardly. It had been so long since they'd spoken, or argued, as the case may be. She didn't know really what to say. It had been a long time since she'd forgiven him for calling her a mudblood, what had kept her away was the knowledge of the person he was becoming, the fact that he was still trying to be one of them. A Death Eater or whatever they called themselves. What he was becoming frightened her, the anger she saw in him made her afraid and honestly, disgusted. But here he was standing in front of her and it was almost as if they'd never fought. Almost.

"I've missed you, Sev," she said brightly, taking a few steps toward him. As she came to a halt in front of him, however, she frowned. "You look really peaky."  
Snape looked at Lily a little started for a second before smiling. “Oh that just probably from where I’ve kept myself locked away in the school. You no me can’t help but try new potions out so I haven’t really seen the sun or got any fresh air” he smiled at her hoping she would believe his lie.

“But I’m really alright you have nothing to worry about. The fresh air today will do me some good and I’ll look like my old self again, we can even go somewhere and sit outside and have tea and cake if you like I know how you love sweet things” he smiled at her even though the though of cake turned his stomach.

"You're such a rubbish liar, Sev," she mused, but her smile didn't fade. She stepped closer. "I admit I saw you walking this way. I know we haven't spoken and I... We've both been stupid. But I've missed you, I've been worried about you and I just wish things could go back to the way they were." She watched him warily, as if afraid he might refuse.

He seemed just as stuck for words, however. But the pained look on her face she hoped meant he'd missed her just as much. "Come to Honeydukes and I'll buy you some liquorice. I know that's your favourite." She held out her arm, inviting him to slide his in hers like they used to. She wanted her best friend back.

Snape looked at the offered arm hesitantly wondering if he should take it. His eyes glanced back at the swamp filled building behind him before declaring that there probably wouldn’t be a meeting today and he took Lily’s arm with a smile.

“I’ve really missed you too Lily and I’m still really sorry about what I called you” he said apologetically as he looked at her and they walked along the path back towards the main town.

She beamed. "I should've known better too, Sev. I left you when you needed me most." Her eyes darkened. "Your dad hurt you again this summer didn't he?" she whispered, having been privy to his darkest of secrets in the past. She'd even met Tobias Snape before, once was enough. He was a vile brute. "That's why you practically blew him up." She squeezed his arm firmly, reassuringly. "You’re not the only one that's sorry - I should've been there for you."

“No, I never would have put you in danger of being near him” he said looking at Lily fearing the thought of her being anywhere near the scene before or after and he would share many things with Lily but that scene he would not, she didn’t need to no that.

“But having you here now is all I need Lily, you are the best friend someone like me could ever ask for…and with my father gone I guess I wont have to worry about my back anymore” he said with a small half hearted laugh even though he knew if someone where to run past right now and hit his back some of the newer one could still reopen and bleed.

Honeydukes was crowded and the two talked quietly, easily as they browsed, ignoring the others in the shop. For the most part, everyone else ignored them too, that was until a familiar bark-like laugh filled the shop. Snape tensed and Lilly frowned looking over her shoulder to see that Potter, Black and the others had stepped in - though they hadn't seen them yet.

She glanced back to Severus. "We're not kids anymore, Sev, they can't touch you."  
“Trust me Lily, they still can” he said glancing over at James knowing the statement meant more that one thing and he lowered his head a bit hoping to not be seen by the group.

“Maybe I should just go, I don’t want you getting drawn into a fight again if they suddenly start on me like last time” he said referring to the time near the lake where he had called Lily a mudblood.

"They don't own the earth, Severus," she said firmly. "If they don't want to act like adults then they are the ones who can leave." The four boys were close now and she gave Severus a final reassuring glance before whirling around, making sure the boys saw her first before they saw Severus.

James froze when he saw them and fidgeted anxiously, wondering if he could get them all out of here before Sirius realised...

"Oi! Look - it's Snivellus and Evans," Peter jeered.

James winced. It was too late.

“Oh yeah you’re right Peter” he said moving towards them. “Hey Evens what’s a pretty thing like you doing hanging out with old Snivillus again, I though you two were talking” he said with a big smile at Lily.

“And Snivillus we didn’t see you today, off lurking around in the shadows were you with your little friends” he said watching Snape recoil a bit before looking at him.

“I was not lurking anywhere for your information Black” he said even though he had no real for behind his words.

"Sirius," James said warningly, but he just got a glare in answer.

"It's a free country I s'pose. Even if you are a slytherin," Sirius said with distaste. "Careful you don't do something he dislikes, Evans. He might blow you up like he did his old man-"

"Sirius, enough!" James snarled, seizing his best friend's shoulder and whirling him around to face him. "He never even said anything to you! Don't start on him it's just petty and pathetic. Leave him alone, alright?"

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Wormtail asked suspiciously. "It never mattered to you before, it was more that he existed." The echo of his past words made James flinch.

"Some of us have grown up," he said heatedly, turning his gaze back to Sirius. "Leave him be, Padfoot, I mean it."

Sirius glare at James for a while before letting out a snort “fine. But you have changed Prongs, I don’t know what this Slytherin snake has on you but I’m going to find out” he said before turning to glare at Snape as he seemed to fidget under his gaze and he moved to walk past him.

“I’m going to find out your secret Snivillus make no doubts about that” he whispered as he past him and uttered a small spell to tie his shoe laces together still wanting to do something to the Sytherlin even if it was just making him fall down. 

Gritting his teeth in frustration, James met Snape's eyes. The slytherin clearly still loathed him but he would still make good of his promise to redeem himself. No one would touch him. Sirius and the others pushed on to the other side of the shop but he lingered, looking at Snape and Evans. They were friends again, that pleased him. He'd felt Snape's sorrow on losing his only friend when he had seen his memories - it wasn't a good feeling.

"Enjoy your day you two," he said politely, cautiously.

Snape’s eyes followed James before he looked to Lily again. “Why don’t we get out of here and get a drink, I could use a little air as well” he smiled at Lily not liking how crowded the store was starting to get and that The Marauders were handing around behind him somewhere.

Snape gave a smile at Lily to show her everything was fine not wanting to worry her as he went move and feeling himself start to fall from where his shoe laces were tide and was soon met with the hard floor.

James dove forward on instinct, unable to help himself and seized Snape's shoulders, crashing down to the floor with him and breaking his fall. Their heads clashed together painfully as Snape fell on him. The crowd in the shop scattered backwards and James groaned as the force of the fall made his head ricochet off Snape's and onto the unforgiving floor.

"Shit!" he cursed, wincing in pain as he clumsily aided Snape back up to his feet. A quick spell from Lily undoing his laces deftly. "Sirius Fucking Black!" he roared, staggering to his feet. His vision twisted and jerk. He felt sick, his body swayed from the blow to the head. "I told you! No! We're not - we're not bullies! We don't...!" But his words cut short as his sight twisted and he fell back to the floor with a thud.

“James!” Sirius yelled running forward (and pushing people out of the way) and picking James up. “Hey James open eyes” he tapping his face with his hand trying to wake him up.

“Shit come on James open your eyes!” he half yelled at him. “Sirius we have to get him back to hogwards to madam Pomfrey there could be something wrong with his head” Remus said putting a hand on his shoulder to try and get him to calm down as Snape watched not knowing what to do, deep down he really wanted to help the griffindor but he knew his friends wouldn’t let him anywhere near him.

"Get back!" Lily snapped, dipping down and raising her wand. "Mobilicorpus!" The spell lifted James' body into the air, her intentions raising him gently, so as not to worsen any damage done. "Severus and I are far more capable of subtlety than you oafs and subtlety is what this requires! Get back! We're taking him to the castle!"  
"Over my dead body! Snape hates his guts!" Sirius snapped, "He could hex him at any minute!"

"It's your magic that hurt him, not Severus'," she said heatedly, glaring straight into Sirius' eyes. "Move out of my way. Your friend needs help fast. The longer you delay the worse off he'll be. Move."

Sirius grit his teeth with a growl before moving out of the way letting Lily pass him with a hovering James and closely followed by Snape as Sirius glared at him as he passed before they left the shop.

“Is it really okay for us to be taking him?” he asked pulling out his want and helping Lily to carry James as they passed through the busy streets and pasted the crowds of on lookers as they whispered to each other about the floating griffindor.  
"If it were up to those three he'd get a broken neck too," Lily said heatedly. "I don't know what Potter's game is but he's different to the other three lately." She looked at the unconscious Gryffindor oddly as they made their way through the village, ignoring the stares of those they passed by. She could already hear the rumours spreading that Severus and she were kidnapping Potter. Honestly, school children - their gossip spread like wild fire.

"He tried to save you, he's trying at least to be an adult," she said but when she looked back at Severus was regarding Potter with an odd look. She blinked. "Have you and Potter been up to something?" she asked curiously. Severus seemed to be taking quite a bit of care with the Gryffindor's limp head.

“What? No we haven’t been up to anything!” he said quickly looking focus for a minute and leaving James head to suddenly hand back before lifting it again. “There is nothing going on with us Lily, Potter is just being his weird self.” He smiled as her as they left the village and climbed into one of the carriages that would take them back to hogwarts.

The journey back was anything but smooth and Snape wished that the carriage had a spell on it to make the journey more smooth just he new the journey wouldn’t last very long so he wouldn’t complain.

Lily didn't miss the way Severus watched Potter's body on the entire carriage ride up, as if his health were something he was concerned with. She said nothing though. There was definitely something going on.

***

James awoke with his head pounding as if there were a herd of hippogriffs were stampeding across his skull. He didn't open his eyes entirely, merely cracked them open hesitantly, in case doing so only brought with it more pain. He vaguely made out the hazy shape of the Hospital Wing. 

"...there were witnesses, Mr Black, showing you tried to trip Mr Snape and Mr Potter was injured breaking his fall!" Madam Pomfrey's voice was scolding Sirius it sounded like. There were people far across the other side of the room and one at his bedside. 

Squinting, he just about made out a familiar black and green blur watching him. Snape?

“Madam Pomfrey I know what Sirius did was stupid and he shouldn’t have done what he did, but will James be alright?” Remus asked from behind Sirius as he glanced over at the bed where James was lying and saw that his head had moved to the side slightly seeming to look at Snape who occupied the chair next to his bed.

“Yes please, I’m sorry for what I did just please tell me that James will be alright and its nothing serious. I mean its was just a bump on the head…right?” Sirius asked worried about his brother.

McGonagall, who was standing beside Pomfrey, regarded Sirius with a scowl. "It could be a concussion. Madam Pomfrey has seen to him. If he wakes up soon all should be well - with him. But that still leaves the matter of your disgusting behaviour. Are you not seventeen years of age and therefore an adult in wizarding society?" 

Sirius said nothing but bowed his head slightly at her scolding.

"Your best friend has seen fit to put the past behind him, to grow up. Perhaps you should do the same," she said venomously. "Now, as an incentive I think stripping quidditch privileges, detention for every week night for the next month and missing the next Hogsmeade trip should be a start."

Sirius' head snapped up to her.

"A tad harsh, you think?" she said sharply. "I think not, not after all the chances you have had to set this foolish school-boy hatred aside. You are an adult, Mr Black and in a few months you will be out in the real world. If I need to be a bit more harsh to help you teach others with respect then I will do so - and more  
Across the room, James blinked his eyes open, still delirious with his throbbing skull and met Snape's gaze. "You have very nice eyes," he murmured quietly in his stupor, for Snape's ears only - thank God. "Y'kay?" He sounded drunk. That must've been the pain-killers Pomfrey gave him. Mmmm. He felt sort of fuzzy in the head. It was a nice feeling. The pain ebbed along with his common sense.

Snape turned his head to look at James hearing his quiet slurred words and seeing his eyes open and looking at him. “So you are finally awake Potter. You know that was a really stupid thing you did today, you should have just let me fall I would have been just fine.” He whispered to him as he turned slightly in his chair to look at him better.

“But…yes, I’m…we’re. Just fine” he said glancing away at the statement and looking at the bedside table before reaching for some think on it James couldn’t see before his forehead was greeted with a cool folded flannel.

“…thank you…for today.” 

James flushed. He couldn't help it. He felt quite giddy. Snape's sleeve brushed over his nose as he pressed the flannel onto his head. "Mmmm y'smell good," he whispered, smiling stupidly. The others hadn't even noticed he was awake. It was a very good secret. Only he knew that Snape smelled good. And kissed good. Mmmm. "I like you, y'know. Why don't you like me more?"

He would definitely regret this once the influence of the potions subsided. Above him, Snape blinked in shock.

“Because you are an arrogant griffindor who doesn’t no boundaries or personal space” he said removing his hand feeling satisfied that the flannel wasn’t going anywhere. 

“There are a lot of things I don’t like about you Potter and the way you treat me is one of the big ones I don’t like and I don’t like that you keep bringing up my memories even though you don’t really know what happened in them” he said leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

James blinked. It took him a few seconds longer than normal to process Snape's words. Everyone else in the room was still discussing Sirius' punishment. He preferred it that way. It hurt to try and focus on more than one thing at the moment and he wanted to focus on Snape. "Then tell me what happened in them, I'd like to know. I'd like to help."

Yes the pain was entirely gone now and he felt quite light-headed with the painkillers. Severus' long fingers tightened on the arm of the chair he was in. He stared at them. They were so pale. He wanted to touch them but couldn't make his hands co-operate. "Y'Know I'm an invalid right now, you should have to be nice to me. Tell me what happened."

Snape gave a small chuckle at the comment before looking at James and seeing his eyes glazed over from all the potions in his system. “With the way you are now I don’t think you would be able to process the information properly Potter. Maybe you should just sleep and work off those potions in your system before we have any sort of talk.” He said to him.

“Now just go to sleep before you make yourself worse you big fool.”  
James scowled the way a small child might. "You promise to tell me later?" he demanded, still in a whisper. The others seemed to have noticed he was awake. Lily Evans was among them he noticed, for the first time catching sight of her auburn locks. She was here for Severus, he realised and was glad. Severus needed a friend.  
"Mmm, your name sort of rolls of the tongue you know," he muttered to himself. "Sev-er-us."

Sirius and the other marauders stood back a bit as Pomfrey started to approach. James narrowed his gaze and stared at Snape, waiting for an answer.

Snape let out a sigh at him. “Yes fine I promise to tell you later and I already told you before stop using my first name” he said giving him a small scowl to tell him to stop it.

“James! How are you doing buddy you okay? You had us so worried what you wouldn’t wake up” Sirius said from the end of his bed as he looked down at him as James slowly turned his attention towards him then to madam Pomfrey still looking deeply out of it and almost like me might start singing like a crazy drunk uncle people did talk about.

"M'fuzzy," he mumbled nonsensically, frowning as Sirius stepped up to the bed and essentially blocked his view of Severus. He liked to look at him and tried to move his hand to shove Sirius out of the way but felt far too weak thanks to the potions. "Go away," he murmured dazedly. 

"He's out of it thanks to the potions I've given him for the pain," Pomfrey said tartly, adjusting James' bed sheets and shooing Sirius back from the bedside. "Give him some room Mr Black. He'll be quite dazed for the next few hours until the potions wear off. After that he will be good as new."

Lily stood between Severus and the marauders, looking from her best friend to James silently, wondering what on earth was going on. She'd have to corner Potter before he came 'back' to himself. Maybe she'd get more sense out of a potion-inhibited Gryffindor than she did out of Severus.

"You should say sorry," James said to Sirius, words slurring slightly.

“I’m really sorry mate, I didn’t mean for you to get hurt” Sirius said looking at James before Lily gave a tut and an exasperated sigh.

“I think James was talking about you apologising to Severus for what you tried to do to him not what you did to James” she said looking at the marauder as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and he should have realized it.

Sirius looked at Lily disgusted by the thought of apologising to Snivillus about anything, but he knew she was right, that was what James was asked for and if it made him happy he would do it. “Alright, I’m….I’m sorry, okay” he said even though it was only half hearted.

"Quite so," Pomfrey said sharply, before rounding on the students. "If you would all please vacate the infirmary, Mr Potter will be out in time for dinner and you can chatter all you like then. Right now he needs rest." The students started to make their way toward the door.

"Mr Black, report to my office after dinner for your first detention," McGonagall said sharply as she held the door open for each of the students in turn, ensuring they actually left.

"One moment, Mr Snape, I have something to give you," Pomfrey said as Severus made to follow the others out. Lily hovered in the doorway, looking curiously back at her friend.

"I'll see you in the Library, Severus," she said brightly, before heading out the door. McGonagall closed it behind them all, but not before Dumbledore slipped in quietly and stood with his back to the doors. Both he and Pomfrey looked at the slytherin carefully. 

"I have been made aware of your condition, my boy," he said, blue eyes twinkling as he inclined his head to look at Severus through his half-moon spectacles. He watched as the boy went ashen and tensed, preparing for a reprimand and possible expulsion. But he continued, "Or should I say, Hogwarts school enrolment list has made me aware. You see, the list is magically automatically updated as soon as a child that might be eligible to attend Hogwarts is conceived." He smiled warmly at Severus. "I consult it every once and a while, an old man's indulgence. Imagine my surprise when I took a moment to consider the enrolment list, only to find a most unexpected addition to the list."

James, who was still dazed but listening to every word twisted his head so that he could see Severus' panicked expression.

"Potter-Snape," Dumbledore explained, "As it is not a usual combination I thought I had better come and speak to you regarding special arrangements that might need to be made."

James, through his stupor thought that Snape hadn't breathed in several minutes.  
“N-no headmaster…that wont be necessary” he said waving a hand and feeling terrible now that the secret of who the father was, was out in the open for everyone in the room to no.

“Everything has already been decide, I’m not keeping the baby I’m giving it to Potter over there and I’m going to use a cloaking spell on my stomach when I start to show so no one will ever no about any of…this” he said with his eyes lowered so that he didn’t have to look at the headmaster and that look of his that always said everything is hunky dory.

“So please headmaster I would just like things to remain as they are as if nothing is happening or changed. I wish to go to class and sleep in my bed in the dungeons like I have done every year before.” 

Dumbledore's smile changed subtly. He reached forward and set his hand on Severus' shoulder reassuringly. "It will be as you wish. Professor Merrythorpe is aware of the situation and will ensure that your class do not work on any potions where the fumes are dangerous to the baby in the mean time. Pomfrey tells me you are due at the end of July, after your exams and your graduation. That will make things much simpler for you. I will have to ensure you are not involved in duelling in your Defence Against the Dark Arts classes, however. I hope you do not mind me including your Defence teacher in our circle of knowledge? He will of course be sworn to secrecy."

Before Severus had chance to answer, James sat up sluggishly on his allocated bed. "Y'not mad at us, sir? For having...you know?" His words were still slurred but Dumbledore seemed to know what he meant.

Snape glad over at James for making such a comment. “Potter just shut up and lay back down” he scolded him before turning back to Dumbledore and letting out a sigh of defeat.

“I would rather you told no one and just let things stay the way they are. But I guess thank to Mr. Potter over there that will not be happening anywhere in the next 9 months…thanks a lot Potter this is all your fault…well…your and Malfoy’s but mostly yours!” he half yelled pointing a finger at him even though he knew it was pointless yelling at the drugged up wizard.

Dumbledore watched the exchange quietly before he spoke. "Ah, yes, Mr Malfoy - I am afraid without proof I cannot take further action against him," he said regretfully. "I would advise you both exercise some caution around him from now on, however. He must have targeted you both for a reason, after all."  
When silence had taken over the room, Pomfrey stepped forward, pushing a small casket of potion vials into Severus' hands. "These are supplements for you to take while you're expecting," she said brusquely. "Take two sips of the blue in the morning and one of the purple before bed. No extreme sports, no eggs, tuna, undercooked meat and absolutely no alcohol. I'd advise against apparation as well during this time."

‘Maybe it would just be easier to roll over and die now’ Snape thought as he listened to his list of instructions of the he wasn’t allowed to do which sounded like everything under the sun and moon.

“Yes madam Pomfrey” he said sounding beaten down as he looked at the vials in his arms and not liking the thought of taking something he didn’t no the ingredients to or had made himself before he looked up at her giving her a small thankful smile.

“Will I have to spend the night in the hospital wing as well after today what happened or am I safe to go to the great hall for dinner and then back to my dorm room?” he asked glancing around at any of the adults that might gave him the answer he waned to hear.

"You may go," Pomfrey said, her face softening as she regarded him. "But steer clear of Lucius Malfoy. Do not allow yourself to be alone with him at any time."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Later that evening, it was with a face burning with humiliation that James made his way down to dinner. Dinner itself was a fairly quiet affair. He slid into his usual spot between Remus and Sirius and after assuring them he was alright, ate his dinner quietly, allowing them to talk around him, passing his quietness off as tiredness. Perhaps Sirius was also a little peeved that James had insisted he apologise to Snape earlier, for even he didn't protest when James excused himself from the table. None of them followed him. He didn't really care.

Sirius had deliberately attacked Snape when Snape had done nothing to deserve it, had he been like that in the past? Yes, of course he had and now seeing it from an outside perspective, he felt sickened by it. More ashamed of that than his earlier potion-induced daze and at that moment, he couldn't bear to be around his own best friend because he reminded him of himself. Of how needlessly spiteful he had been.  
With gritted teeth he stepped up onto the first landing and waiting for the stairs to move around to where he stood. The set of stairs leading up from the dungeons arrived first, however and he blinked as he found himself face to face with Severus. 

"Err, hi," he said, cheeks burning. He really wasn't ready to see the slytherin with his thoughts in such a mess. And yet at the same time, he didn't want him to go. Glancing around them, he saw that they were alone in the grand staircase. "Errr, fancy a walk down to the boat house?" he asked, wondering what on earth possessed him to ask.

Snape looked at James for a long time after he stepped off the moving stair before giving a small sigh. “I guess I can agree to that…but no funny business you hear me Potter” he said pointing at him sternly before walking past him and hearing him follow after a few steps.

“I guess you want to hear about my memories don’t you? That’s why you want to take me to the boat house” he said continuing to walk, not looking back at James but hearing his foot steps so he knew he was still following.

James felt his cheeks flush for some reason. "Y-Yeah, yeah that's right," he agreed quickly, following Snape out into the main courtyard. The sky above was gloomy and overcast, threatening rain but the ground was still dry. He walked a foot or so behind Snape until they reached the top of the long, winding stone stairs that descended down to the boat house.

"Sever- Snape," he said, quickly amending his words on recalling Snape hated it when he used his first name. Snape stopped and turned to look at him but James did not have the confidence to raise his eyes from the ground. "The way Sirius behaved today was out of order," he said quickly, "He had no business targetting you like that and seeing him do it, for no reason it just..." He moistened his dry lips. "I know I used to be like that, you gave as good as you got but I started on you for no reason - I was an utter bastard. I just...I just want you to know I am sorry, seeing it from the outside." I'm disgusted with myself, he wanted to say, but couldn't force the words out.

He saw Snape's feet sway closer towards him.

“The past can’t be changed or rewritten Potter, life is what it is.” He said looking at James and seeing his eyes lowered as so not to look at him and gave a sigh scratching his head. “But I suppose I can forgive you if that is what you are asking for after all these years of pushing me around.”

Snape took a step back a he surveyed James as a drop of water hit his cheek and he reached up brushing it away before the same thing happened again before the skies started to open up and the distant rumbling of thunder could be heard in the distance.

“We better get moving or we are going to end up soaking wet” he said starting to descend the stone steps as the rain started to come down heavier and sink though there clothes. 

James thought about the acceptance of his apology as they walked down to the boat house. Snape had given him a second chance to not prove he was every bit as bad as Malfoy and (as much as he loved him) Sirius. He wouldn't mess it up. Lifting his chin with determination, he took a few steps forward to fall into stride with Snape and pushed open the door. 

Immediately, the torches on the walls sprang to life and illuminated the hanging boats and softly rippling water in warm, gentle light. It cast a subtle glow on Snape, made his face and hair look softer. Flushing slightly at the sight, James cleared his throat and headed up the stairs onto the upper level. He leaned against one of the hanging boats suspended from the ceiling, waiting for Severus to join him.

"It's private here, no one ever comes down here in October," he mused, eyes riveted to Snape as the other boy came to stand opposite him. He'd intended that they come down here to talk, talk more about Snape in particular but now, with the light so seductively cast on that pale skin, dark eyes and hair...  
He moistened his lips again. He suddenly felt quite warm.

“Of course no one comes here, who would be stupid enough to come down here when its starting to get cold outside especially when its starting to rain out as well” he said leaning against the opposite wall before glancing up at James as tucking some of his hair behind his ear to look at him better.

“So…I guess you want to hear about my past now. That is why you brought me here after all isn’t it?” he asked crossing his legs where he stood and somehow managing to emphasize his crutch in his baggy trousers somehow.

"I want to know you better, if you'll let me," James said simply. He gave a small smile. "If it'll make you feel better, you can ask me a question for every explanation you give me. Leverage, you hold just as much over me as I will over you. And you'll get to know me better as well." He ran his hand through his hair awkwardly, his hair tousled and windswept in a way that he knew made girls flutter. He didn't think Snape could care less, however. Perhaps that was why he liked him so much.

He swallowed. Oh, Merlin, did he seriously just think that?

“Somehow I don’t think there is anything I could hold over you Potter you grew up with the perfect life, perfect parents and lots of friends who follow you like sheep” he said leaning off the wall and moving to look out a window and putting his hands on the window ledge.

Taking a deep breath Snape thought about what he was going to say before starting to talk. “My father used to beat, he was a violent guy who used to drink a lot. He never cared if you did or didn’t do something if you got in his way or were just seen that was enough to set him off” he said watching drops of water run down the glace window from the rain outside.

“I was always his favourite target of course never left me alone for very long especially when he found out I was a wizard and the memory you saw” he said turning to James and looking at him. “I git beaten for that too…my father walked in on me while it was happening, I got 10 lashes for that and he said someone like me shouldn’t be doing things like that. So that was the first and last time I ever masturbated or touched myself.” 

James blinked. Stunned. It seemed utterly impossible that Snape was the same age as him and yet had only ever masturbated once! His lips moved soundlessly for a few moments as he processed that information. Snape had been bullied his entire life, even by the man that should have cared for him selflessly and unconditionally. He grit his teeth.

"Your dad deserved everything you gave him and worse," he said at last. How dare a man treat a child like that? He wasn't even a man he was...

"There was nothing wrong with...you know, touching yourself. Everyone does it, it's not dirty or wrong or..." he dragged his fingers through his hair again - more out of frustration than a desire to primp himself. "He ruined something perfectly natural for you, he hurt you when he should have taken care of you. He is the only disgusting one." He looked at Snape and his guarded, close-off expression. He wished he could offer some more comfort than this, he hoped understanding was good enough.

"I'm sorry you were hurt - no one should ever have suffered what you did. I heard your mum left your dad. Is that why?"

“I guess you could say that was part of the reason” he said looking at James before sitting on the floor just under the window. “My mother never loved my father, she was only with him because it got my mother attention from the family. My mother was a real attention seeker and when the novelty had worn off and no one was paying attention to her anymore she left him and left me behind as well” he said unconsciously playing with his fingers.

“And I no there is nothing wrong with me touching myself Potter but believe me after you have been beaten for it, it can make you fearful even if the guy is gone and cant do anything” he said looking up at James as he drew his knees up to his chest watching James’ facial reactions to everything he told him.

James inhaled sharply. Snape was unlike anyone he'd ever known before. He wasn't an ordinary abused child, he was an intelligent, jaded young man. Every response he gave was completely unexpected and brutally honest.

"So," he began hesitantly, "Will you go back to live with your mother now, after school or will you head out on your own? You're of age to do what you want now."

Snape gave a small single sarcastic laugh. “I wouldn’t go back with my mother even if I knew where she was” he said looking at James as the wind whistled outside the boat house.

“As far as I’m concerned she is dead to me cause that’s pretty much what she left to happen to me. I will never try to find her or have contact with her” he said moving his head look at the ceiling as he shut his eyes as if thinking about thing but really he just didn’t want to look at the griffindor and the look on his face anymore.

James blinked. It was hard to contemplate. His own parents were as flawed as any human but they loved him (perhaps smothered him a little, given that he was an only child) but they would never treat him the way Snape's had. It just...didn't make sense. He gritted his teeth, frowning at the thought of Eileen Prince walking out on her young son just to suit herself, leaving him with an abusive father...  
It sickened him.

"You...you're a really strong person, to have overcome all that at just seventeen," he murmured, looking directly into Snape's face now, watching the flickering torch-light dance across his dark eyes. He looked so handsome and yet sad at that moment. A bone-deep longing to show him that there was more to life than suffering reverberated through him.

"So you'll head out on your own then," he said. It wasn't really a question but an affirming statement. He paused for a moment, then risked his next question. "I know you don't like me much, I don't blame you either, but is that the only reason you want nothing to do with our son or daughter after its born?"  
Snape's head snapped up to look at him, evidently surprised by his question. James smiled sheepishly, sadness touching his expression.

“…Don’t give me that look Potter” he said watching him for a moment before standing up and crossing his arms once he had dusted off his clothes not that it made much of a difference.

“As I sad in the hospital wing and I’m sure you heard, I want no child in this world carrying my blood or my name and further more I would not be able to care for a child properly with my current status in life and my own up bringing.” He said taking a breath and not really wanting to say that being a death eater with a baby was not a smart move.

“I am no parent to this child Potter. I might be carrying it but that doesn’t mean that I’m anything to do with it, so it might as well go to the father who at least partly wants it.”

James winced at the stiffness in that tone and the perfectly reasonable argument. Snape's attitude was that of a man far beyond his seventeen years. It was both awe-inspiring and saddening at the same time. "If you wanted to," he began tentatively, straightening up as Snape stood. The action had brought them perilously close to each other on the upper level. The look in Snape's eyes was so intense. It set a tremor of anticipation running through him. He licked his lips absently.

"If you wanted to raise it though, despite everything else, I could help you. We could help each other." His own eyes burned and he curled his fingers into tight fists either side of his hips to stop himself from reaching out to touch Snape as he longed to. "We would be in this together, if you wanted, anyway."  
“I already said I have no interest in the child, raising it or otherwise” he said in a flat tone as he looked a James before taking a single step back from him. “So raise the child as you wish either way I wont be a part of it’s life or sending it birthday cards or anything silly like that” he said waving a hand around weakly.

“But what I want to no is why are you still following me around. I already said I would give you this child you no I have absolutely no interest in being with you, so tell me why. Is it because I said no to you? Is that why you cant seem to leave me alone because someone didn’t say yes to the precious James Potter?” he asked giving a smile as he folded his arms again.

James frowned. Maybe that had been the initial reason he had stopped and taken notice, but no, that wasn't he reason. He couldn't even explain why he was still tailing Snape like a love-sick crup because he didn't know himself.

"It's because you're different to everyone else," he said, voice low and husky. "Because you're bloody clever and strong. You deserve pleasure and I want to be the one to give it to you." Snape didn't move or respond to him at all. James raised a brow before turning around, flicking back the fabric cover on the suspended boat he'd been leaning against. Giving Snape a final look, he climbed into the boat, it rocked slightly from the suspension ropes but otherwise was perfectly secure. He sprawled back in a would-be leisurely manner and held Snape's gaze, willing him to follow.

"I want to make you come undone," he said softly.

“…In a boat?” he asked looking at James with a raised brow as if he was completely crazy. “Oh yes I will come undone alright, you will probably end up bashing my bloody skull in” he said standing sternly not making a move to go anywhere near the boat or James Potter for that matter.

“Further more I think you seem to keep missing the keep word here when it comes to me and you ‘NO’ no to it all especially you and me in a boat. Honestly of all the things running though your mind for you to react to this has to be the dumbest one Potter” he said putting his arms arm him and rubbing his arms a bit over his thin black shirt wishing he had been walking around with a jacket on in that moment but not knowing he was going to be dragged down to the boat house make that call very hard to make as be tried to hide a small shudder. 

James smiled wickedly, reaching out to offer his hand. Snape had said no, but not as vehemently as usual. He was contemplating it. "I was a bastard to you before," he said simply. "Let me have the chance to make it up to you. We're both red-blooded seventeen year old boys. There's no reason that we shouldn't." His eyes burned as he looked at Snape, his trousers tightening.

"Whatever dirty fantasy you've ever entertained but never dared to hope for, I'll do it. I'll do whatever you want if you get in here right now." He watched Snape mull this thought over. Surely having Potter as his sex slave that would do whatever he wanted to him was more than a little tempting.

Snape rolled the thought over in his mind for a while before taking a deep breath and opening his mouth. “Sorry to tell you this Potter but even though I am a red-blooded 17 year old as you put it I can safely say I have never had a single though of any sexual desire to try something” he said almost wanting to do all air quotes but he stopped himself.

“And further more I’m a guy, I no its normal in the wizarding world but wouldn’t you rather be getting hot and sweaty with some girl?” he asked looking at James as he took a step towards the boat but still staying just out of his reach.

James cocked his head. "Can't I like both? I still find the thought of girls arousing too, but right now I want you, is that so very hard to believe?" He didn't retract his hand, it was still there, waiting to help Snape up into the boat if he agreed. 

"If you're saying you never had a single dirty fantasy," he found that hard to believe but he wasn't going to antagonise Snape by saying so, "then let me help you along a bit..." He leant forward on the boat, resting on the edge so that his face was inches above Snape's. He could feel the heat coming off the other boy's skin, saw his cheeks flush a little at their proximity.

"I could be on my knees at your feet, my mouth and tongue around your cock," he whispered heatedly, "lapping at your arsehole, feeling it twitch."

He felt Snape's breath come out sharp and fast. "Or I could tease every inch of you, toes and upward, touching everything except where you really want me to, make you squirm until you can't take anymore." He leaned a little closer. He could feel Snape's breath on his face now. "I could see if I could make you come just by teasing your nipples. Or I could sit complacently, waiting for you to say exactly where you want my mouth and hands and I would obey... I could let you bind my hands behind my back so you could force my mouth where you wanted it. You could fuck my throat. Or I could tie you up, if you'd prefer it that way round, lose control knowing that someone is taking care of all the hard decisions for you." A sharp inhalation from Snape's lips silenced him. He swore he heard a small groan.

“I…I don’t want you tying me up again” he said looking at the floor with his face turning red to James words before seeing him obvious erection pressed up against his loose jeans and he turned his back on James not wanting to she him how excited his body was by his words.

Snape tried to take deep breaths to calm himself but the effort didn’t seem to be working as he felt James behind him leaning in close and breathing heatedly on the back of his neck though his hair and also on his ears with he was sure had turned bright red from his closeness.

"I won't do anything you don't want to do," James breathed and leaned forward so that his next words caused his lips to brush Snape's ear, just enough to make him twitch - everywhere. "You're in charge." His hands smoothed down over Snape's shoulders, his slightly rough fingers caressing his throat, gently tugging back, not forcing him backward just reminding him where he wanted him to be.  
"Come here...?"

Snape turned to look at James as he felt him slow try to move him and eventually his feet turned towards the boat all the while his mind was screaming at him.

Don’t get in the boat! Don’t get in the boat! You no what will happen if you go in there don’t do it!!

He wanted to listen to his head, he knew he shouldn’t get in the boat with James Potter or bad things would happen again like last time. But at the same time his body was saying that he should get in the boat with James.

Get in the boat with him, remember how good it felt last time? It might have been forced but it still gave you shudders and you liked it, you could have that again if you get in the boat.

His mind was a whirl of confusion about getting in or not so he just stood silently outside of it looking down at the floor not sure what to even though the erection in his trousers was giving its answer loud and clear.

James twisted his head a fraction, just enough to run his tongue across the edge of Snape's earlobe. He breathed hotly against the shell, dipping his tongue in teasingly as his hands slid down. They moved slowly, tentatively, giving Snape plenty of chance to protest, but as his hot palms skimmed the slytherin's belly through his shirt, Snape's hips arched forward a fraction.

"Let me do naughty things to you," he chuckled in the other boy's ear, kiss-nipping the skin just below his ear. At the same time as Snape let out a sharp gasp, his hand slid up under the t-shirt to caress Snape's naked belly. It tensed with pleasure under his teasing touches.

Snape breathed heavily as he looked at James touching him belly in low sensual movements and he raised a foot to step into the boat before drawing it back again his face had gone a deep red and he had no idea what he was doing before he let out a small airy moan as James kissed his bare stomach.

“Please…don’t tie me” he said in a low voice before slowly and hesitant stepping into the boat and looking like he tired to step back out twice as if re thinking the situation before standing in the gently swaying boat in front of James and his black shirt starting to cling to his thin frame in place there he felt himself grown hot from the situation.

James looked up at Snape from under his lashes, his lips grazing Snape's stomach still. "Only what you want," he promised, lifting Snape's shirt so that he could trail small kisses up his stomach, along his sternum. He mouthed the shape of Snape's collarbone, panting gently, feeling Snape's chest heaving slightly from his rapid breaths. 

When Snape didn't resist, he hands slid round, splaying down his back to cup his arse, kneading the flesh and nipping at his throat. The skin there was still tender from his love bites, which he teased deliciously with the tip of his tongue.

Snape let out a shudder of a breath and moaned at the feel of James tongue licking at his sensitive skin making his body grow warm and he found himself standing rather stiff not sure what to do with his hands, he didn’t really want to touch James but he didn’t want to stand there looking stupid either.

Stepping back in the swaying boat Snape reached for the corners of his shirt and stood frozen for a moment. Should he take it off? Or leave it on? Would James be expecting to see his back? He did mind so much if he was just looking at his thin frame but Snape’s back was a big no, no in his opinion he stood thinking still holding the corners of his shirt having only lifted it as high as his belly button and showing the thick belt that was holding his trousers up.

James groaned softly as Snape exposed his stomach. He gripped his arse tighter, massaging hungrily, capturing a nipple between his teeth gently and flicking the tip with his tongue until Snape's head rolled on his shoulders. He kept his eyes up on Snape's face as he did so and when he released the nipple it was tight and pink. Caressing the length of his belly with his mouth again, he briefly wondered about the tiny baby inside but dipped his head a little more, making this about Snape, who was trusting him, not the baby. Not for now.

He nuzzled the shape of Snape's growing erection through his trousers, slowly, carefully removing the belt. As he tugged the belt out of the loops and dropped it to the deck of the boat, he licked and nipped back up that tensing belly and chest, this time caressing Snape's neck with his mouth, kissing his sharp jaw, hovering just over his lips. His eyes fluttered and he waited, longing to taste his tongue but waiting to see if Snape would refuse him his mouth. He let Snape decide, his one hand still cupping his backside and the other creeping forwards to palm his throbbing hardness through trousers and underwear.  
"Kiss me?" he breathed.

Snape let moan as James hand palmed at him erection and he quickly placed his hands on James’ shoulders to keep him balance before glancing up at James seeing his face so close to his and his hot breath on his skin.

Leaning in a few times Snape hesitant inches from his lips his bottom lips shuddering at the thought of kissing another man let alone James Potter but looking up into James burning eyes made him shudder and his erection twitch in his trousers as they hung loosely on his hips from the lack of belt that was keeping them up.

He breathed deeply a few more times as he looked at James before slowly leaning in again and hesitating just for a moment before leaning in and kissing him quickly still finding the action hard to do, he wasn’t used to showing physical affection to anyone especially another man. 

James groaned as those lips met his, the hand that hand been caressing Snape's arse through his trousers flying up to slide into that dark hair. He felt Snape tense, probably anxious about him touching the very hair he'd once teased him for. James massaged his lips with his in apology, before deepening the kiss, trying to coax that mouth open. His fingers caressed Snape's hair affectionately, his fingertips stroking his scalp encouragingly as he moaned against his lips.

"Open your mouth," he breathed between kisses, stepping closer to press his hardness against Snape's.  
Snape let out a startled moan into the kiss feeling James’ hardness against him and the slight moan giving James the chance to slide his tongue into Snape’s mouth or he let out hot breathes feeling James roam around in his mouth and massage there tongues together.

“P…Potter” Snape breathed heavily as he took a small step back from him not sure if he still liked being so close to someone else. Especially when he could hear his father’s voice in his head telling him it was dirty and someone like him should not be doing such things. 

"You're so fucking sexy," James panted, spanning the gap Snape created between them and knotting both hands in his hair, pulling their lips together once more. He devoured that mouth hungrily until he felt Snape gasping against him. Only then did he let his kisses drop down that pale throat, mouthing that frantic pulse. He caressed the shape of his adam's apple gently with his teeth.

"Lay back," he urged softly, trying to get Snape to lay back in the boat at the same time as he began to ease those trousers down off his skinny legs.

Snape looked at James hesitantly as he panted before slowly moving to lie down in the boat and feeling the cold of the wood touch his hot back and his legs feel the cool air as his trousers where slowly pulled off his thin legs along with his socks.

“Potter…I…” he murmured before looked away from him and covered his face with his hands not wanting to admit how hesitant he was about the whole situation and how he wasn’t meant to be doing things like this (according to his father).

"Ssshhh," James soothed softly, unable to stop his cock from throbbing at the sight of Snape so flustered and embarrassed, so different from his usual stoic self. "Don't think, just feel." With that, he leant down, rubbing cheek against the pulsing hardness straining against Snape's boxers. A tiny blob of wetness was already seeping through the fabric from his pre-emission and he looked up at Snape's face as he mouthed it through the material.

Snape's hands were muffling his moans and James, determined to hear them, wrapped his lips around the tip of that hard cock through the underwear. He sucked.

Snape let out a loud shock moan not expecting the action or the strange sensation on the fabric rubbing against him hard erection. “P-Potter” Snape moan as his legs seems to spread wider and he lifted his knees slight.

He had never felt anything like this before, was it meant to feel like this? Snape felt his mind blurring from the action before tilting his head down at look at James and he blushed seeing him in such a shameful way and his cock gave a jerk from the scene. 

Chuckling around his mouthful, James slurped at the cock in his mouth, letting his saliva wet the fabric to tease Snape some more. He kept watching Snape's face, waiting to see if he would eventually snap and insist he put his mouth to his bare cock, to his heated flesh, or even tug down his boxers himself and hold James' mouth there. Either way, he wouldn't mind, like that or like this, flushed and watching him with almost shy pleasure, he was satisfied. 

James' hands slid up, caressing Snape's chest, his ribs, capturing a nipple and tugging gently before sliding down again. He massaged Snape's balls through the underwear as well. They felt full and tight in his grip.  
“N-no…don’t” he said in a half moan as he squirmed around on the floor and his hips jerked slightly at the touch. “Don’t…don’t do that.” He said still feeling shy and very vulnerable in the situation.

Snape moved and managed to lean himself up against the boat so he we in a slight sitting position as he looked at James and his erection strained against his boxers as he breathed heavily and his face had turned red with a blush.

James grinned up at him, continuing to mouth his cock through soaked boxers. He dropped the hand massaging those balls, brushing the knuckle of his forefinger down to tease his perineum through the material, to dip between his cheeks and massage his twitching ring.

"You want me to touch you properly?" he asked huskily, eyes burning, voice making the tiny hairs on Snape's body prickle in arousal. "Want these gone?" He pinched a bit of the fabric between his lips and let go so that the elastic waistband snapped back against Snape's skin teasingly. His nose tickled the trail of hair that lead down from his belly button. He tugged the smattering of hair with his lips, still massaging his hole through the material, digging his knuckle in a little way. He wanted to drive Snape mad with pleasure, to show him how good it could be.

Snape stifled a moan as his bit one of his fingers not wanting to make a sound as James teased at him before giving in and releasing a moan that seemed to echo around the empty boat house making his moan seem louder.

“P…Potter…please” he said in a small voice as a shaky hand touched the waist band of his boxers and half slide it down off one of his hips before quickly drawing the hand away and sitting up.

“I…I shouldn’t be doing this…I…” he said putting him legs together as if doing so would stop the situation and make his erection go away(even though it didn’t) and he looked away and moved his hands as if trying to cover himself. 

James sucked in a harsh breath, scraping his stubbly cheek across the pale hip exposed to him, biting gently in appreciation. "Yes you should," he breathed, hooking his fingers into the waistband of Snape's boxers. "You should do whatever you want, whatever makes you feel good." He paused then, glancing up to Snape as he slid his underwear completely off his hips and down out of the way. He held his gaze as that erection twitched under his chin. 

"Does this feel good?" he asked, dipping his head to give his weeping tip a slow lick, gathering his pre-emission on his tongue and swallowing.

Snape moaned his hips gave a jerk and his erection twitched to the lick and the cold of the room as he watched James with lusting eyes.

“it…it feels good” he said as his chest heaved and he reached out a hand to pull James’ shirt off not liking feeling like he only vulnerable one in the room and he held onto it, liking the feel on the fabric between his fingers and giving a small blush as he looked at James’ chest. This had been the first real time he had actually looked at it and the light muscles that showed though on his chest were rather attractive and Snape licked his dry lips.

James smirked, leaning back for a moment to shimmy out of his trousers and boxers so he was just as naked as Snape. He paused just long enough to give the slytherin a good look at his hard, swollen erection, flushed with arousal, before leaning back down again and breathing hotly over Snape's cock. He caressed his inner thighs teasingly, his thumbs brushing over his bollocks, his perineum, just taunting his twitching hole. 

When Snape squirmed he smiled again, dipping down to nuzzle Snape's cock, inhaling his smell there in an embarrassingly primal gesture. "Hmmm," he murmured huskily, just barely touching the erection with his lips. He lathed Snape's heavy balls with his tongue, sucking gently. Then he let his fingers take over, letting his mouth dip down, his tongue darting devilishly across Snape's tender ring of muscles.

"You're all pink and twitching down here," James whispered, licking again, wanting to taste him deeper, to feel him shuddering beneath him. This would be easier if Snape was on his knees but he knew the slytherin would be most comfortable if his back was not on display. 

Making do with their current position, James took Snape's hands and placed them on the boy's arse cheeks. "Spread your arse for me," he urged him, his tone debauched and hungry.

Snape looked down at James as if he was crazy asking him to do something like that that. But he felt his body twitching so much but he felt his hands moving on the there own as he speak his cheeks apart and lifted off the ground a bit as he spread his legs open to James as he panted.

“P…Please…please do it” he said in a shaky voice as part of his slowly dampening hair fell into face blocking his vision of what was happening a bit as he rolled his head to the side and feeling embarrassed and slightly ashamed of the position he was in and he didn’t understand why he was yielding so easily to James this time. 

Panting at the sight laid before him, James caressed Snape's length with his hand in reward, pumping it gently. He lowered his head, nose pressing into Snape's perineum just enough to make him squirm in anticipation for what was to come. Laying his free hand reassuringly over one of Snape's that was holding him open. His tongue darted forward, flickering teasingly across the pink, twitching ring then back again - and again. 

"Don't hide your face," James whispered against the tight entrance to his body, when Snape tried to turn his head to avoid his gaze, "not like it's something shameful. There's nothing wrong with this, or you." After a beat, Snape met his gaze again and James rewarded the action by pressing the tip of his tongue into him, stretching the bud with his tongue.

Snape’s hips gave a jerk feeling James tongue stretch him and his back arched raising himself off the bottom of the boat a bit more as his gaze looked sky ward and he let out heavy pants and light moans.

“Hm…P-Potter…it feels…strange” he panted, the action did feel strange but it also felt really good making him want to draw his legs together and squirm under the action but having James between his thighs made the action impossible so he opted for squirming under James’ relenting tongue movements.

"You're clenching down here, like a hungry little mouth," James chuckled sensuously, pressing closer so that his nose dug into Snape's perinium just right, his lips and tongue devouring his hole. He jerked Snape's length faster, feeling it thicken and twitch in his grasp. Moving his other hand from where it lay over Snape's he reached for his wand and pushed the tip into Snape alongside his finger. 

"Delugero!" he whispered between passes of his tongue, and felt sweet apple-scented lubricant burst from his wand and into Snape's clenching channel. It was cool and Snape hissed in pleasure above him, his thighs tensing either side of Snape's shoulders. "Keep holding yourself open for me," James smirked, withdrawing his wand and sliding a finger in slowly in its place. He crooked it an inch in, massaging the tense gland inside generously, the way he knew would make Snape see stars.

Snape arched his chest up as he threw his head and his hips moved with a moan feeling pleasure and surprise as well as the cool lubricant as some escaped him channel and ran onto one of his hand.

“Ah…oh god” Snape moaned as James finger moved around inside him as his body clenched and twitched around him. He had never felt anything like this before, he felt like he was going to melt or even black out at the pleasure running through his system.

"That's it," James hissed, "let go, cry out for me." He sucked one of Snape's balls into his mouth, sliding a second finger inside him to massage his prostate and open him up. That tender ring stretched and flushed pink around him, shining with lubricant. Snape's face was just as pink and wanton, his dark eyes shining. It made James' cock pulse and drool pre-emission. He shifted his own hips slightly to try and alleviate the ache. This was going to be about what Snape wanted, not him and if Snape didn't want anything to do with his cock this time round, then he'd have to deal with himself later afterwards.

His fist tightened around Snape's cock and he sucked at his other ball, watching his eyes for a clue as to what Snape wanted him to do next.

Snape squirmed relentlessly as one of him hands slipped from ass and be scrapped it against the base of the boat wanting something to grip onto with no luck.

“Please…please don’t tease me” Snape moaned as his hips gave a jerk and he felt a small trail of pre-emission escape his cock and run onto James hands as he pumped his erection.

“Please…I’m so hot…I cant take it…please…James” he moaned and half murmured as he squirmed under James’ touches feeling his body burn with desire.

"What do you want?" James panted, letting his spittle coat Snape's cock and balls so that his lips and Snape's skin were wet and shining in the dim light. "Tell me what I have to do." He wanted to blow Snape's mind, he wanted him delirious with pleasure, so far gone that he would never again doubt that he deserved such bliss and could have it - easily if he so wished.

Twisting his fingers, a third finger slid in, stretching Snape's ring deliciously and torturing the place inside him to the point of explosion. "Tell me," he urged him, slurping noisily, messily at his cock.

"Tell me," he urged him, slurping noisily, messily at his cock. His own cock throbbed in near-pain with desire at the sound of that voice, at the sight of that tongue wrapping around his name. "Severus," he added, a heady, husky whisper.

“I…I want more” he breathed arching his chest up and feeling a cool wind brush against his hard nipples making him moan deep in his throat.

“P-please…I…I want you…inside…inside me” he moaned arching up and turning his head away feeling embarrassed by his own words as his face grew hot and his cock throbbed in anticipation and excitement .  
James nearly exploded there on the deck of the small boat. He groaned in longing, pressing his fingers into the knot of Snape's pleasure in reward for those delectable words. That mouth, he wanted it so much. So he leant down, smashing his lips to Snape's and swiping his tongue inside. If Severus minded the taste of his own musky pre-emission he said nothing about it. James hummed against his lips, massaging them with his own, his spittle sliding against Snape's as he caressed his tongue.

Without breaking their wet, messy kiss, he shifted so that his cock could glide against Snape's, grinding their erections together in promise of what was to come. He took one of Snape's hands and wrapped those long, soft fingers around his cock. "Put me inside you," he urged him between kisses. "Show me that you really want it."

Snape blushed as he looked down seeing James’ throbbing erection in his hand it felt so different from his own, bigger for one but the sensation of another mans cock in his hand was just very different and he gave it a stroke as he analysed the length and how thick it was. His eyes glanced away as he heard James moan deeply from the action.

“I…I’m not sure about this…I don’t think I can” he said shaking slightly remembering the last time in the boys toilets and remembering all the different sensations he had felt some of them not very good.  
James stared down at him with hungry eyes. At that moment, he didn't care how they had each other, he just wanted him, desperately, for reasons he couldn't even decipher himself. "You can fuck me?" he suggested, not even knowing where that idea had come from. He wasn't over the moon about the idea but he would if it would make Snape more comfortable. Fair was fair, after all, and he hadn't been fair with Severus before now. He wanted to be from now on.

The look on Snape's face said that idea unnerved him more than James penetrating him though. Maybe some men just didn't like to top? He frowned. He would have to research this when he was sure Sirius, Peter and Remus weren't looking...

"I'm more than happy to fuck you if you don't fancy it," he mused, pressing his forehead against Snape. Their noses touched as he stared into his eyes, so intimately closed and his tongue flickered out to touch Snape's lips teasingly. He rocked his hips forwards, pumping his cock through Snape's fingers, against Snape's cock. "More than happy," he whispered, "desperate to, in fact. Put me inside your tight little arse. I can feel you twitching around me, hungry for me." He drew his fingers out a little way before pushing back in. "You're sucking me in."

“AH!” Snape gave a loud moan moving his hips to the action of James’ fingers and he stroked James’ hard cock up against his feeling the slicked wet with pre-emission as he looked into James’ eyes seeing to search for something there before he let his mind go blank and he moved James’ cock down to his twitch ass

“P-please…be gentle this time” he said with half pleading eyes as he looked James and moved his cock closer to his invading fingers and he spread his legs a little wider to give James better access. 

"Always," James said seriously, meaning it. He didn't know what had come over him the last time, years of pent up aggression and school-boy rivalry and sheer arousal at seeing memory-Snape masturbating. Whatever it was, it was no excuse and he would spend every time there after making it up to Snape, if he would let him.

Snape looked pink with embarrassment but also carefree pleasure, the kind he had never dared to hope for before. James would to everything in his power to ensure he kept that.

He kissed his lips roughly again before sitting back on his knees to see what he was doing better. With a groan he rubbed the little nub inside Snape's tight, hot channel a final time before drawing his fingers out. They were slick with lube and he used it to coat his length, before shifting forwards, wrapping his own fingers around Snape's on his erection. 

Sweat beaded across his brow, his glasses sliding down his nose slightly. He could practically feel the heat coming off Snape's slightly gaping hole on the head of his cock. "Come on, Severus, put me in that wet, tight little hole." He jerked Snape's cock a few times encouragingly. "If you want it, you have to come get it. Push your arse down and swallow me up like a good boy." He smirked, Snape's erection twitched in his grasp at his words and his cheeks burned darker than ever.

Snape let out a shuddering breath his chest heaving with the excitement as he moved his hips down to meet James’ hard erection before pulling back as it touched him and he looked at James not really sure if he could do it himself. But James had promised he would not force him or hurt him.

He met James lust filled eyes as he took a deep breath trying to compose himself before moving his hips again and guiding James’ throbbing erection to his tight channel before feeling the tip slide inside along with some of the length and Snape’s body tensed to the feeling as a small pain shot up his spin from the entry and he let out a moan that was a mixture of both pleasure and pain.

“J…James.” He murmured as his nails dig into the wood of the boat a bit.

James gave a throaty groan, leaning down to wrap his arms under Snape's armpits to grip his shoulders, holding him close as he rocked gently inward. The lubricant eased any burn and left only the over-stretched, full sensation. "You're so fucking gorgeous," he panted, nipping the other boy's throat reassuringly. He inched inwards with small, subtle rocks of his hips. His cock pulsed, eager to surge deeper and mark Severus as his own as deeply as he could.

"Fuck. Severus," he sucked his earlobe between his teeth, dipped his tongue into his ear, frantic to taste every inch of him. "Love it when you say my name. Want you. Want..." His words trailed off in a shuddering groan against Snape's cheek. His hand massaged Snape's cock encouragingly, pleasuring him through the uncomfortable entry. "Talk to me," he urged him, "tell me how my cock feels in your arse."

“It…it hurts” he murmured as his hips rocked with James and he tilted his head to the side giving James access to his neck as he felt him kiss and leave small bites along the exposed flesh as Snape moaned and drew his kneels up further.

The boat had started to rock with there movements and Snape wasn’t sure if it was helping or making things worse as he panted and he reached up putting his arms around James’ neck for more support as he tried to relax his body and try and focus on the pleasure. 

"Push out as I push in," James whispered, mouthing his neck in just the place that made Snape shiver. "Relax." He used one hand to caress Snape's ribs, his stomach, rolling his hips back and forth gently, the lube making slick, squelchy noises as he did so. He flushed. So did Snape. He smiled breathlessly. He was stroking Snape's cock again, squeezing the tip with each jerk, rough thumb pressing into the weeping slit. It hadn't flagged at all with his entry.

"You're so hot, Severus," he murmured, resting his lips against Snape's cheek as he urged Snape to arch his back to better accept his cock and let it scrape his prostate on the way in and out. "So wet and tight. Rock back into me, it'll feel so much better. Come on, fuck yourself on my cock nice and slow."

Snape complied as he arched his back and moved slowly back against James as he moaned and felt his cock jerk in James’ hand feeling the tension slowly slip away with every more he made up against James and feeling his back arch more until there chests were touching and Snape’s hard nipples rubbed up against James’.

“Feels good…so hot” Snape breathed with shudders as he tipped his head and moved with James’ body feeling him slide in and out.

James felt the tension in the body beneath him ease and instead shudder and twitch as pleasure rushed through it. "Better?" he whispered, rocking harder into Snape's body. The boat was rocking slightly too on its support. He spared a moment to flick his wand up at the supports, forcing the boat to remain still despite their writhing bodies. He grinned against Snape's skin. His hand moved faster over Snape's cock too, encouraging those slender hips to roll back into his thrusts.

"You're so tight and juicy inside," he groaned, taking that mouth again, swallowing Snape's moans. "You're going to make me cum soon. Fill up your belly all over again." He smoothed his hand over Snape's stomach, imagined it rounded with his child in the months to come. A wave of possessiveness roiled through him like an angry tide and he growled against those lips.

“I…I don’t want…Ahhh!” he moaned feeling his body throb and unable to say that he didn’t want James cuming inside of him but he guessed it didn’t matter at that point if he did or didn’t.

Snape’s hips bucked wildly as he felt James move faster and harder inside him as be fisted at his cock. Snape felt his insides burn as he moaned loudly feeling James hit his prostate with each thrust. “I…I think I’m going to cum” he moaned as he arched up and put his arms around James and feeling there hot bodies touch each other.

James' hand hastened over Snape's cock, his thumb tugging his frenulum just right so that he felt the erection bunch, ready to burst. "Yes," he hissed. "Cum on me, fucking cum all over me," he growled, slamming his cock inside frantically now, his balls slapping against Snape's tight, taut backside. He dove down, snatching those lips with his own again but as he did so, voices mumbled from outside.  
"I hate being on hallway patrol as much as you do but it is a necessary task," said McGonagall approached the boat house. 

"I have better things to do with my evening than making sure students are out of bounds at night," Flitwick answered. 

James froze, quickly extinguishing the torches with his wand and tugging the fabric boat cover back across the top of the boat, effectively hiding them both. He did this all without leaving Snape's body. The teachers approached the doorway but James, under the cover of the boat, in the dark, tight space warmed by their coupling, stared down at Snape with shining eyes. He smiled mischievously, kissing Snape again, rocking his hips and fisting that cock as he had been doing before.

"Cum for me," he whispered, so quietly that only Snape could hear.

Snape’s eyes widened and he quickly covered his mouth from moaning not wanting anyone to hear him but the action was proving difficult as James moved.

“I…I can’t…they'll hear me” he said in shuttering breaths as quietly as he possible could hearing people walking up the stairs to the floor they were currently on. “P-Potter please…stop…they'll hear us” he shuddered as a small moan escaped his lips before biting his arm to keep himself silent all the while feeling like he was being pushed over the edge and would break at any second.

"Come on, be naughty with me, Severus, cum for me, right now," he whispered, urging Snape toward his orgasm with his hand and rapid thrusts. He felt his own balls draw up, his own cock throb in warning that his own climax was approaching. Resting his forehead against Snape's, he clenched his teeth to stifle his groan.

“I cant, I cant, It’s too much” he whispered drawing up his kneels and clamping them into James’ side as his erection throbbed red hot and his balls stiffen.

“I can’t…hold it” he said as he buried his face into James’ chest and let out a moan as he came hard spreading his cum on his and James’ stomachs as he panted hard still holding onto James.

James grunted, throwing his hips forward a final time. He bit into his lip, spilling himself inside Snape's body. His body was still shuddering, his cock still spilling creamy climax into Snape's body as the teachers stepped into the boat house. He caught Snape's eyes, shining with pleasure and pressed their lips together again to silence his rapid breathing. His eyes shuttered shut. Kissing Snape was so...perfect. His tongue was soft and eager despite his earlier reticence, his lips firm. He wanted to kiss him forever.

Right now, it was the perfect way to silence him.

"Did you hear something?" McGonagall said. Her voice was quite near now, just below them in fact.  
"It's the old wood," Flitwick muttered brusquely, clearly just wanting to go. "It groans like that Whomping Willow it was carved from. There's no one here, Minerva, let us go."

James broke the kiss, looking into Snape's eyes. They were so intimately close. He felt Snape's cum cooling on his belly and his own oozing around his softening cock from the slytherin's arse. He'd never felt so connected to anyone. Gently, he kissed the corner of his mouth, his chin and jaw, all under the cover of the boat.

Snape breathed heavily before looking up at James and hitting him on the chest weakly but wishing there had been more force behind.

“You complete ass, what you have done if we had been caught? Why did you stop when you heard them you…arrogant griffindor” he said all but nearly yelling the last part as he moved away from him feeling very sore and achy and he put his arms around himself.

James smiled breathlessly, casting a quick spell to banish their spendings from Snape's body, hoping he would appreciate the sentiment. "We wouldn't have been caught," he said, tapping the tip of his wand harmlessly on Snape's lips. He traced the shape of them with bright eyes, still flush from sex. "I cast a silencing charm - you just didn't notice." He smirked. "Exciting, wasn't it? Doing it out here, with the potential to be caught."

He trailed his wand down to caress Snape's jaw softly, before drawing away. "Don't pull away from me now. It was good, wasn't it? It felt amazing."

“Oh yes wonderful I just loved biting into my arm at the end there when I didn’t have too” he said looking at his slowly bruising arm from where he had bitten himself.

“But…I will admit it did…feel good” he said with a blush. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you are a stupid arrogant ass and I can’t say that I was over thrilled with having nearly been caught. The thought terrified me, you really are the worst Potter” he said angrily as he looked around for his shirt and quickly slipped it up over his head when he found it feeling a little better for being slightly covered from James’ view.

James sighed, running his fingers through his hair, frustrated. "I am really trying here. I thought it would make you feel better to let go. You feel a million times lighter - relieved, I can see that," he said, pulling his own clothes back on. Look," he gripped Snape's arm when the boy tried to get out of the boat. "I would never, ever abuse your trust by letting someone catch you. I haven't given you much cause in the past to trust me but I will do whatever it takes to earn it in the future."

He sighed, cocking his head and releasing Snape's arm. "I'm not perfect, but you make me want to try to be. I'd appreciate it if you stop shooting me down at every turn."

“You don’t have to bother changing for me” he said turning away and sliding his jeans back on and doing up his belt. Snape stood there for a few minutes not saying anything before turning back around to James.

“Don’t change for me, just change for the baby because that’s the only one that will matter at the end of all this. We are not going to be a ‘couple’ or anything else at the end of all this, I will just carry your child and at the end of all this we will go are separate ways and you can decide if you want to date guys or women in the end.” He said standing perfectly still as he looked at James from here he still stood in the boat.

James shot to his feet. "Don't tell me you don't want more, more to life than what you have now? I showed you just a taste of the bliss you can have. Don't shut yourself off from it. You don't have to want it with me but you have to believe life has more in store than licking Voldemort's boots."

He frowned. "You felt a connection with me just then. Don't I at least deserve the chance to try and prove to you how deep that connection can go?"

“You can try if you so wish but I don’t see where you will find the time to try. We have studying for exams, you have to spend time with your friends and distract them from me as well as going to class meal times, sleeping, spell and potions practise. I honestly don’t see that you will have time in the day to try and prove such a thing” he said turning his back on James and heading for the door as he heard James jump out of the boat and quickly move to his side.

Snape came to a stop and sighed turning to James once more. “Yes Potter what is it?”

"Don't shoot me down," he said, "Don't give up on something better just because life has been shit for you so far." His eyes softened. "If an idiot Gryffindor like me can have hope for the future you certainly should. You're one of the smartest people in this school - you can do anything you want."

He hesitated for a moment, reaching for Snape slowly, giving him time to step back if he wanted. He just remained still and James' fingers curled around his wrist. It was as close to holding his hand as he dared. Not saying anything else, James just held his gaze for a moment, the moonlight streaming in from outside the only light. Then he leant in and slid their lips together gently.

Snape leaned into the kiss for a second before quickly lowering his head away from James’ lips. “You should no better than anyone that the future is never bright or hopeful for Slytherins no matter how bright they may be” he said taking a step back from James but not pulling him wrist out of his hold.

“I don’t care what the fates hold for me whether it be filled with the darkness us Slytherins are none for or anything else. And you should realize that as well and just be thinking about your future as a father” he said looking into James’ eyes.

James frowned. "It doesn't have to be like that. The world isn't separated into black and white, into slytherins and gryffindors." He rubbed Snape's pulse with the pad of his thumb thoughtfully for a moment. "You're not alone, you have me and Evans - you will have the baby. We can make a difference to how it's always been." He gazed at him thoughtfully.

"I know I haven't given you much cause to believe me, but I won't stop trying until you do."

“…maybe you would be better with Lily” he said looking away. “You two would be a much better fir for each other and you wouldn’t have to worry about her going to the dark side…and I’m sure she would love this baby as if it was hers as well.”

Snape couldn’t bring himself to look at James he didn’t care about James but he did want him to move on and stop chasing him for a future he wouldn’t get. He should just put his focus back on Lily it would be better for everyone if he did. 

"This isn't about Lily Evans," James snapped. He found Lily attractive, he had a crush on her for the longest time, but he hadn't truly thought of her for some time now. Gritting his teeth he let Snape go, lest his temper get the better of him and he hurt him accidentally.

"Stop running away from me without giving me a chance. You felt good just now, you can have more of that. I want to show it to you and I know you want to as well. Let me have a chance, it's all I'm asking," he said bluntly.

“I don’t want to give you a chance!” he half yelled. “Why can’t you understand that, things were just fine when you used to hate me now you just follow me around like some love sick puppy making sure I don’t do things” he said looking at James.

He had to push James away he couldn’t keep letting him get so close to him and this was all he could do. “I don’t need to feel or be loved in any way…so just leave me alone and go back to your life…I’ll make sure someone informs you when the baby is born and you can take it away” he said walking past James and making his way down the creaking stairs of the boat house.

James shot after him. "If you really think you don't need to feel loved then you're not as intelligent as I thought you were," he growled. "You need me to push, to chase you because Merlin only knows you won't look elsewhere." He leapt in front of Snape, blocking his path up the stairs. "You need someone stubborn like me who can take your shitty attitude. Who will stop you from fucking up your life. You're seventeen. It's not too late, alright?"

He scowled when Snape just glared at him from a few steps down. "Even if you don't want me, I want to be your friend. You let Evans in, why can't you let me? Why is she the only one?"

“Because she was my friend from the start, she never asked for anything and she knows my whole back story inside out and has never asked anything of me…she’s special” he said glaring at James.

“You have earned no locality like that with me right from day one you say me as nothing but scum on the bottom of your well polishing shoes. There is nothing about me that is worth you sticking around Potter so why not find someone else who will gladly bend to your will without batting an eyelash” he said looking at James with stern dark eyes and wondering why it was always thick skulled Griffindors that always chose to corner him in one was or another. 

"I don't want to bend you to my will," James growled. " I want you to have hope and try for something better. And I'm sorry for how I behaved, I will say it again and again 'til I'm blue in the face. Even if you try to shove me away or sour any decent moment we have, like just now, I won't give up on you. Because if I do then who else is there to challenge you like I do?" He lifted his chin a fraction in indignation.

"This isn't over, Severus," he said and without another word, he whirled on his heel and stormed up the stairs.

“No it’s not over. Because it never even begun” he said quietly before slowly going up the steps and out of the boat out into the cold night air as he headed back to the castle spotting no sign of James anywhere.

Later in the Slytherin dorms rooms Snape sat on the edge of his bed dress in green soft pyjamas and his hair wet from him shower. “Now lets see, madam Pomfrey said I had to take this one at night” he said pulling out a small vile from a basket as he looked at it and sighed knowing this would be a very long and boring nine months as he held the vile in his hand.

"Preparing for the next generation of Potter?" Lucius drawled as he stepped into the dormitory. His eyes glittered dangerously as he came to stand beside Severus' bed, his long, pallid fingers caressing the ornate bedpost. "I'd wager the student body will be in utter uproar when they discover it," he said darkly.

“I don’t know what you are talking about Lucius” he said hiding the vile in him hand under his leg. “There is nothing going on we me and Potter, I can’t stand the guy and I have no idea what you are talking about with this next generation crap” he said looking at Malfoy

“Unless you forgot I’m a guy not a girl so if Potter what’s heirs to his name he needs to knock up a women” he said moving to sit fully on his bed as he looked at Malfoy.

Malfoy tilted his head to the side, his long blond locks cascading over his shoulders. "Come, Severus, do not play ignorance. It doesn't become you," Lucius sneered. "You know as well as I who put the potion in your goblet. Are you not the slightest bit interested as to why I did it?" His other hand not braced against the bed post caressed the wand where it sat in a flamboyant sheath at his belt.

Snape watched the gesture before focusing on Malfoy again. “I already told you Malfoy I don’t know what you are talking about. There is nothing happening and would you please stop caressing your wand like that, anyone would think you were dating it the way you are touching it” he said with a small smile as he move to sit up against the headboard of his bed.

Suddenly, Lucius leapt forwards, his wand pressed against Snape's stomach through his robes, digging in so hard that Snape winced. "You are many things, Severus Snape but an idiot you are not," he hissed. "Students rarely get invited to join our group but for a snivelling half-blood like you to just walk into the inner circle? I will not allow it. We have to prove our worth to the Dark Lord, you have yet to show your usefulness - he hasn't even given you the mark yet, has he?"

Lucius twisted his hand to make a point. Unless he uttered a spell, blunt trauma to Snape's belly wouldn't harm the baby, it wasn't even fully formed yet and was protected inside. "Just remember, my hand slipped once over your evening pumpkin juice - it can do it again, when you least expect it. With much more dire consequences." He glared down at Snape, as if he were unworthy of even breathing the same air as him. "I look forward to seeing how our fellow students respond to the news of your predicament. And our Lord. Hmmm, yes. I imagine he will be able to think of many creative things to do with it. Innocent blood is valuable in many rituals after all..."

“There is nothing there Malfoy and its no my fault if you are not seen as worthy by the dark lord. Your blood might be pure but that doesn’t mean much to him especially in your case it seems” he said shifting on his bed to try and move away from the wand that was digging into his stomach.

Snape watched Malfoy for a moment before speaking again. “But just to be curious if this so called plan of yours had actually worked tell me what was the point of it? Was it just to get me out off the way so you could get closer to the dark lord?”

"It would certainly put you out of his favour, he has no use for death eaters fat with child," he said unkindly, not moving his wand. "The only purpose he would have for you would a toy and that's only if you were lucky. You would be out of my way." His expression darkened. "Before you came I was his practically his right hand man. I will be again. If you get in my way, Severus, your spawn's life will be the least of your problems." He stood back then, surveying Snape with distaste.

"Now, what will you offer me to keep your dirty little secret?" he mused.

“Absolutely nothing” he said in a blank voice as he looked at Malfoy. “I don’t want this child and as soon as its born its going away so I don’t care if you tell the whole school or the dark lord. It won’t change a single thing” he said with stern eyes.

“And from what I heard the dark lord didn’t treat you any different than he does now so trying to get me out of the way wont make a single bit of difference to your ranking” he said rubbing at his belly where the want had been stabbing into him and feeling like it might leave a mark.

Lucius' wicked smirk thinned. "Is that what you have heard? Well, we will see just what becomes of my ranking, won't we, Severus?" he murmured dangerously. "And if you don't care what the news of your disgusting predicament will do to your reputation, to Potter's, to the future of that child then I suppose there is nothing stopping me, is there?" he said with a foreboding lilt to his voice, keeping his wand trained on Severus as he headed for the door.

"I believe you will have a most interesting final year at Hogwarts, Severus Snape."

“Yes I’m sure I will too” he said looking at Malfoy as he left the room and he looked down at the vile he was still holding in his hand and wanting to throw it angrily at the nearby wall and break it.

Snape sighed though, this year really would be the most interesting year at Hogwarts. Pulling the cap off the vile he quickly drank its contense and put the empty vile back in the basket that he hid under him bed before using his wand to dry his hair and crawl under the covers and wondering what the next days might bring as he laid awake long after the other Slytherins had come in and gone to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

James could not help but feel everyone was staring at him as he walked down to breakfast on Monday morning. He hadn't seen Snape at all Sunday, not even in the restricted section where they were both supposed to be using their passes to research for their Defence Against the Dark Arts essays. He hadn't seen Snape since their altercation in the boat house Saturday night and to be honest, he now found himself craning his head to look around in case he could spy the slytherin heading to breakfast. They had double Potions today, at least Snape wouldn't be able to avoid him there - the slytherin would never miss a Potions lesson.

A prickle of unease rippled up his spine as he descended the moving stairs. People were definitely looking at him, whispering to their friends. He frowned, glancing back to Sirius, Remus and Peter. "I know I was holed up in the library most of Sunday but did I miss something?" he asked. 

Sirius shrugged. He'd been in detention himself and Remus and Peter (for whatever reason) didn't seem to know the answer either. As the four made their way into the Great Hall, however, the entire room fell into silence. Every head turned their way. James stopped in the archway, staring back in confusion. Then he noticed that everyone was not only looking at him, but also Snape, who was sitting at the Slytherin table with his head down low over his porridge.

Merlin's fucking balls. They knew. At that moment, James saw Snape lift his head and their eyes met.

Snape looked at James with eyes that said ‘yes they all know’ before going back to poking at his porridge not really interested in eating it with so many yes just staring at him as if waiting for him to explode or something.

“Okay what is going on, why is everyone staring?!” Sirius yelled out across the hall wanting to no what all the staring was about and wanting to catch up on the gossip that was apparently floating around Hogwarts. But most seemed too hesitant to tell him what the rumour was but others looked like they might burst if they didn’t ask if the rumour was true or not.

“Well!” he barked again.

"You!" Peter snapped, rounding on a third year Gryffindor who sat nearest the door. The dark-haired boy flinched at his tone and stared up at them with big, fearful eyes. 

"Everyone is talking about how Potter and Snape have been having some...some sordid secret relationship and now Snape is pregnant with Potter's child!" His voice was low, hushed with anxiety and piqued interest. His large eyes shot to James quickly. "Is it true?"

James swallowed hard, very aware that every pair of eyes in the room was trained on him. Gritting his teeth, he ignored them all, even Sirius and pushed past them to take his usual seat at the Gryffindor table. Sirius slammed into his seat beside him, quickly followed by the other two marauders. He did his best to avoid their eyes while, across the room, Lily Evans slid up onto the slytherin bench unseen thanks to everyone's attention being diverted to James Potter.

There was a vacant space either side of Severus that no one else seemed eager to fill.

"Sev?" she whispered, no one had noticed her yet but they would soon enough. "are you alright?"

“Yes I’m alright Lily” he said with a small smile turning to face her and seeing her worried expression before he touched her hand trying to reassure her and not wanting to see the worried look on her face.

“But you know you shouldn’t be over here, you know the other Slytherins don’t take kindly to Griffindors even if I’m the exception” he said with a light laugh as he stroked her hand with his thumb feeling very relaxed and calm in her presence as he always did with Lily Evans. 

Lily snorted. "A few slytherins don't scare me, Severus," she said playfully, squeezing his fingers reassuringly. "What scares me is how Potter hasn't stopped looking at you since he stepped in." They both looked up to see James Potter staring at the two. Sirius Black and Remus were whispering frantically at him - Black's face was stern with anger. Potter sighed heavily and dropped his gaze to where he was picking unappetisingly at his breakfast.

"Severus, we've been friends since before I even came here, please, be honest with me," she whispered, squeezing his hand more firmly, staring into his eyes with her own glistening with concern. "Is it true?"

Snape looked at Lily for a moment and knowing he couldn’t hide the truth from her, she was and always would be his best friend he had to tell her. Taking a deep breath Snape looked into her eyes and gave her hand a small squeeze.

“Yes…it’s true. But it wasn’t planned or anything I swear…I didn’t even want it to happen. James just cornered me in the boys bathroom and wouldn’t take no for an answer.” He said lowering his head feeling rather ashamed that he wasn’t able to fight him off and prevent of this from happening. He couldn’t even bring himself to look into Lily’s eyes anymore.

Lily gripped his hand tighter than ever, her slender, beautiful fingers tensing, shaking slightly. "Did that arsehole rape you?" she hissed under her breath, for his ears only. Sweet, clever Lily sounded dangerous in that moment, the sound making Severus look up to see her green eyes hard with fury. "Did he? Severus, tell me."

“Well I…I guess in a way it was” he said looking into Lily’s eyes finding it hard to look away from her now that he had met her gaze.

“I mean I…I told him no and to leave me alone. But it didn’t really stop him doing what he did…and he tided up my wrists so it wasn’t like I could make a run for it or hit him with a spell, or just hit him in general” Snape wanted to crawl under a rock and die, why was he telling her all of this?

Lily stared at him for a moment, her vivid green eyes studying him carefully before her hand slid from his. She patted him firmly on the shoulder before making her slow, ominous way toward the Gryffindor table once more. She stood behind Potter saying nothing, until he turned to face her. "A word - just you," she snapped and with that, she made her way out of the hall. "Maybe she's jealous?" Peter suggested hopefully, clearly perturbed by James and Sirius' heated, whispered argument. James gave his friends a disparaging stare, passing his gaze briefly over Severus again, who looked panicked that Lily Evans was evidently about to challenge him about his conduct towards Snape. James frowned, wondering exactly what Snape had told Lily, before following after her. 

He followed the whip of auburn hair round the corner and out into the front courtyard. It was deserted, chilly and that was all he had time to note before a hard, ringing slap crashed into his face. He staggered, staring in awe at Lily Evans, her eyes blazing.

"How dare you, Potter!" she spat, but before she could say another word, the door opened and Snape stepped out into the courtyard with them. He looked between the two of them, unsettled, uncertain for what to say, it seemed as he closed the doors behind him.

"What have you done to him?!" Lily demanded of James. "You forced yourself on him? You forced him to have your child? Your depravity knows no bounds!"

"I didn't force him to have my child," James hissed, rubbing his wounded cheek. He glanced to Severus. Had he told Lily that? "Lucius Malfoy is to thank for that, although it is my child. Neither of us knew what was going to happen!"

“That’s try Lily, it is Malfoy’s fault that I have a child inside of me now. He slipped something into my pumpkin juice that make this happen, or so he told me Saturday night anyway” he said from his place near the door finding that it was safer not to be near either of the two Griffindors.

“And Potter is right it is his child there is not a single doubt about that I can tell you” he said moving to sit down on one of the small stone benches and giving his stomach a small rub still remembering where Malfoy had jabbed him with his wand and left a small circular bruise.

Immediately, Potter stopped rubbing his abused cheek and turned fully to face Severus. "Are you alright?" he asked, watching where Snape's hand touched his stomach. James hesitated, dithered on the spot as if he wanted to approach Severus and replace that hand with his own but didn't dare.

Then he froze. "How did you know Malfoy slipped something into your pumpkin juice?" his eyes narrowed. "That arsehole said something to you, didn't he? He's the one that told the whole school!" He couldn't stop himself, he did approach Severus then and without thinking put his hand over Snape's on his flat stomach. "Are you both alright? What did he do to you?" Lily stared at the pair with wide eyes, firstly at the sheer fact that things were not what they seemed, at the fact that her best friend was pregnant by a man he had always hated, but also at the concern in Potter's voice, his entire demeanour. Concern for both Severus and the baby. It stunned her into silence as she watched their exchange.

“We are both fine Potter” he said tapping the hand away with no great deal of force as he looked at James still not sure if he liked being touched by him or not. “And Malfoy told me that he did it, that’s how I know he put something in my pumpkin juice.”

He said looking at James and seeing the concern in his eye. Snape let out a sigh as he slowly got to feet to his feet and un-tucked his shirt before lifting it up over his flat belly and showing the bruise from the wand.

“And he threatened me with his wand. He said if I didn’t do what he wanted he would tell the whole school about this and I would rather the whole school know that than do anything Malfoy says” he said standing still with his shirt raised.

James eyes flared with anger, concern and admiration in quick succession. Temporarily forgetting Evans' presence, he stared at the pale skin of Snape's stomach, marred by a dark purple bruise. Inhaling shakily, he drew his own wand and cast a mild healing charm - just enough to take the edge off the purple bruising and the pain. 

Snape would rather have his private life become public knowledge that surrender to someone like Malfoy - James felt oddly proud of him for that. He gave a small, thoughtful smile before taking a step back, letting him have his personal space back when what he really wanted to do, was let his hand smooth over the exposed stomach. He moistened his dry lips.  
"Bet Malfoy didn't expect you to be twice the man he is," James said with a smirk, imagining the look on Lucius' face when Snape refused to give into him. "That prick is going to pay..."

"So..." Lily began, frowning with uncertainty. "Are you two a couple? Severus made it sound like you forced him but you seem," she regarded Potter critically. "You seem to care about him as well. What's going on?"

James looked to Snape, wondering what was going through the slytherin's head.

“No Lily we are not a couple and never will be” he said lowering his school shirt again and tucking it into him trousers before looking up at the pair as they seemed to just be staring at him.

Snape looked at the pair for a while wondering what was running through there minds before speaking again. “And I don’t really think that Malfoy was bothered by the fact I wouldn’t do what he wanted, I think this was his original plan all along and would have done it even if I had agreed to do whatever he wanted” he sighed scratching the back of his neck knowing nothing had really been accomplished and now the whole school knew he was pregnant with Potter’s child and the whole of Slytherin house now threw him disgusted looks an went quiet or taunted him every time he walked into a room.

James held Snape's dark gaze. Malfoy was definitely up to something and he was certainly not done. He could not get the notion out of his head that Malfoy wanted to present Severus, or their child at least to the so-called 'Voldemort' for one thing or another. The sight of that bruise had made him want to shake some sense into Severus but the other boy was so stubborn and proud and...

Why doesn't he bloody well want me, or at least try? He thought with frustration. The vehemence with which he'd said that they would never be couple made his skin prickle. He knew it was only as much as he deserved but it didn't stop him wanting more.

"I really don't think it's safe for you to remain in slytherin dormitories," Lily began, holding up a hand to silence Severus when she could see he was about to protest. "You didn't see the way they were looking at you, Severus. Who knows what Malfoy and the rest of them might do to you in your sleep. You need to be safe and you aren' there not anymore. We need to speak to Dumbledore about moving you."

“But Lily I’m just fine in my dorm really” he said trying to reassure that everything was fine even if it was a poor effort and he knew that Lily would get her way in the end.

Snape looked at James seeing that he agreed with putting Snape in a separate room away from the rest of the slytherins even is Snape saw there was no point since he could still be cornered in call or in the halls.

“Plus what could they possible do to me in my sleep? The worse they could probably do is hit me and I’m no stranger to being hit or held upside down by magic. Plus they have all known since yesterday and I’m still in one piece” he said with a smile.

Lily reached forward and took both of his hands in hers. "Severus, it's only a matter of time. And it's not only you to worry about now." She squeezed his hands firmly. "Seemingly harmless little hexes and pranks can do serious damage. You may be able to endure whatever they come up with but the baby might not."

Beside them, James grit his teeth behind a passive expression. Why was it that Lily Evans seemed to be able to get through to Snape and he wasn't? They both said the same thing and yet his protests were met with derision and annoyance. He frowned, wondering if it really was just friendship between the two that gave them such a strong bond. An unwelcome surge of jealousy coiled in his gut like an incensed serpent.

Snape lowered his head and looked at the hands before sighing and giving up the fight. “Fine. We’ll go see Dumbledore and see what he can do, know doubt the news has probably reached him as well anyway and be looking for me” he said a little sadly, he didn’t want things to change in his last year of school but it seemed that wouldn’t be the case anymore.

Snape stood silence in the court yard still holding Lily’s hands before the silence with broke by a growl from his stomach and Snape gave a small blush at the sound and wondering if Lily or James had actually heard.

"You need to eat," James said firmly. "You're eating for a second person now too - even if it is still a tiny person."

Lily snorted at his words and released Severus' hands. "The two of you head up to Dumbledore, I will fetch you some toast or something from the Great Hall and bring it to you before Potions." She looked pointedly at James then. "You've changed, Potter, but it doesn't mean I won't be watching you." 

James looked to Snape and sighed at the expression on his face. "You go with him," he said to Lily. "I'll fetch him something to eat. He'd rather be with you in any case." The image of Snape and Lily raising his baby together came to mind entirely unwelcome and he felt sick.

“I don’t really care who takes me I don’t even mind going back to the Great Hall myself” he said looking at the pair and shifting on the spot a bit. The thought of going and seeing Dumbledore made him feel uneasy and would rather not go.

He looked at James seeing a look in his eyes that said why don’t you trust me, let me come with you. But Snape said nothing as he looked at him wondering if he would push himself forward and ask to take changing his mind about sending Lily with him. 

Lily sighed, the noise sounding something like an exasperated "boys" under her breath. 

"Potter is an utter pillock, Severus, but he is trying really hard to do the right thing. Take pity on his brain, it has been bashed around by bludgers for the last seven years. He's trying to do what makes you most comfortable; take him with you. You're going to share a life together, it's about time you started getting along."

“I can assure you Lily I will be sharing nothing with Potter” he said looking at Lily. “But…I will allow him to take me to Dumbledore if he really wants to take me that badly” he said before looking over at James.

“So Potter, what do you want to do?”

"Let's just go," he said tartly, uncomfortable with Evans acting as a go-between for them and heading back into the castle. He held the door open for Snape to follow him. Lily caught Snape's arm as he turned away. 

"We will talk later, in potions," she promised, before letting him go.

It seemed Dumbledore had heard that their 'secret' was now public knowledge at the school, for the gargoyle guarding the stairwell to his office admitted them before they'd even finished stating their names. The Headmaster was waiting for them behind his desk, chin resting on his steepled fingers as they took the two chairs opposite him at his bidding.

"You are hardly the first student to find themselves in this predicament," Dumbledore said brightly, pushing a bowl of sugar mice toward them. James took one absently - it squeaked in dismay as he popped it into his mouth.

"We have quarters for these sort of situations," Dumbledore continued, pushing the bowl more promptly towards Severus when he still didn't take a sugar mouse. "You can of course make use of one of them. There are several in fact. Modest rooms to be sure but room enough for all you need and only you, myself and Professor McGonagall as Deputy Head would be able to enter. There is one on the second floor charms corridor, one that leads off the transfiguration courtyard - that one has excellent views of the lake..."

“I…I don’t really mind where I go” he said quietly as he eyed the sugar mice not understanding what Dumbledore’s obsession was with sweet things but he waved his hand and declined the sugary treat.

The words that Dumbledore had just spoken suddenly hit inside of Snape as he re-thought about them. Only himself, Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall were allowed in the room, did that mean that there was no way for James to just go strolling into his room whenever he wanted? He thought Dumbledore would have given James permission to enter as well as he was the father.

Snape glanced at James out of the corner of his eye wanting to gage his reaction and see if he had even noticed.  
"If you're in the Transfiguration courtyard you'll be out of the way for the most part," James said, "and near McGonagall and the Hospital Wing." He looked at Snape for a moment, then Dumbledore again. Those eyes were twinkling knowingly and he flushed dark crimson, dropping his gaze to where he was worrying his fingers in his lap.

"I'd like to move with him, to help him and to be near the baby," he said, mostly to his lap. "I can make sure no one jumps him between classes."

Dumbledore tilted his head and deferred to Severus. "While I agree it would be beneficial for you to be close at hand both for the child's development and Mr Snape's safety, I believe it should be up to Mr Snape to decide."

Snape flashed James a dark glare, the thought of having the griffindor in his room would just put him more on edge and he would fear getting jumped by him let alone anyone else.

“As kind as you are trying to be Potter I don’t want you anywhere near my room, the thought of having you near there would stress me out” he said not really looking at him as he tucked a strand of hair behind his ear before finally looking at James.

“And as I have told you before you don’t need to concern yourself with me I’m perfectly fine doing things on my own without your help.”

"But you shouldn't have to," James said firmly, the image of the bruise on Snape's belly still fresh in his mind. "This is my child too, I should be helping you and I want to." He flushed when he remembered that Dumbledore was there and in fact watching them with interest and that same kind smile.

Clearing his throat awkwardly, he took another sugar mouse and bit its head off with frustration. "This is important to me, both of you are. I want to be there every step of the way."

“Well I hate to tell you this but the baby is no more than probably the size of a dot or pea so there isn’t anything you can do right now and I have been taking my potions day and night like I was told so I don’t need you around” he said crossing his arms as he looked at James.

He could see how annoyed he was getting by his words but at this point me didn’t really care and he had already told James countless times he wanted nothing to do with him but he guess stubborn Griffindor pride was getting in the way of that fact. "A compromise, I think," Dumbledore said brightly. "Severus will keep his rooms private, to himself and will choose who will or won't be admitted. Perhaps he could schedule a day in the week to suit him where he would allow you an hour or two of his time?" He looked between the two boys and snapped his fingers. Immediately, a plate of buttered toast and a cup of tea appeared before Severus.

"I noticed you did not finish your meal. Please eat while we talk, Severus."

Snape hesitated for a moment looking at the plate of toast before his stomach gave a growl and he picked up a slice of toast blushing and started to eat it.

“I…I guess that could work. But I don’t want him staying in my room over night. That is one major condition I want to make” he said sternly looking at Dumbledore as if telling him there was no compromising there to be had.

“But honestly right now I don’t see why you would want to be in my company, there will be nothing for you to do while I’m in my room” he said taking a small sip of his tea and exhaling with a smile, he did enjoy a good cup of tea and he was thankful that Dumbledore has summoned it for him.

"Perhaps I just want to spend time with you? Don't worry, I don't expect you to enjoy my company," James muttered. "Excellent," Dumbledore said cheerily. "I will have your belongings moved to your new quarters immediately, Severus. A house elf will show you the way to your room after lessons. Perhaps we should say every Friday evening can be your arranged date? Ah, yes and Miss Evans is waiting downstairs for you, Severus, your first lesson will start soon, I suggest you skiddaddle."

“Yes sir and thank you for the tea” he smiled putting the empty cup back on the desk and standing as he took another slice of toast. “Goodbye headmaster” he said giving small nod before heading for the door eating his toast before glancing back at James as he reached the door.

“You coming Potter?” he asked looking back at him standing by Dumbledore’s desk and just watching him.

With a final glance back at Dumbledore, James followed Snape out the door and down the spiralling stairs. “You know,” James said softly as they headed down the stairs, “there are benefits of having your own room.” Snape stopped half way on the stairs to face him. James quirked his brows, trying to lighten the mood that had settled between them.

“I could come visit you, satisfy you in private…” He leant forward, setting his hand either side of Snape on the banister, pinning him subtly, his mouth hovering just above Snape’s.

Snape glared at James, if looks could kill the Griffindor would be dead. “I already told you Potter I don’t want you anywhere near me room or have satisfying me” he said looking at him before ducking under his arm and continuing down the stair care.

“The only time you will be coming anywhere near my room is when Dumbledore said you are allowed to and that is it. The only other time you will see me is in class and maybe the library” he said stopping on the last step and looking up at James. James stared at him a moment before descending the stairs, walking past Snape. "Are you coming?" he said dismissively. If Snape wanted distance, he would get it. He was trying, after all. When he felt Snape following, he continued down to the bottom of the stairs. The gargoyle closed the stairwell as soon as Snape was standing out in the corridor beside him.  
Lily Evans was waiting there and pushed a sausage roll into Snape's hand. "There," she said brightly, "munch this down on the way to Potions." She glanced up at James. "Are you intending to shadow us all the way there?"

James frowned at her, but gave a stiff nod. He didn't leave their side until they both walked ahead of him into Potions, but he didn't say anything else to them either. Nor to Remus as the boy slipped into his usual seat beside him in Potions. He just watched the back of Snape's head as they waited for the lesson to start.

"What did Dumbledore say?" Lily asked Severus quietly. Everyone was still staring at them but at least everyone was talking amongst themselves while they waited for the professor to arrive. It gave her and Severus cover to talk.

“He’s going to be moving me out of the Slytherin dorm and into my own room. Potter picked the room for me though, be said it would be good because it was close to the hospital wing” he said s he looked at Lily and started pulling some of his books out.

“And Dumbledore said that no one can get into my room without permission and Potter can only come to my room on Fridays for 2 hours which sounds good to me” he smiled feeling very grateful for that rule.

Lily smiled thoughtfully. "Potter getting visitation rights to your non-existant bump?" she mused. "It's good that only you can enter. It'll be much safer from you." She glanced around them to check no one was listening. "Sounds like Potter was being very thoughtful, quite unlike him. What has been happening between the two of you while I've been gone"

“I don’t really know myself. I think he is trying to get me to see there is more to life and maybe try to start something even though I have told him hundreds of times nothing will ever happen between us” he said glancing behind him with a glare directed at James.

He soon turned back to Lily and gave a shrug though. “Or it could just be hormones where he keeps trying to get back into my pants every chance he gets.”

Lily laughed. "It could be that indeed. Boys," she scoffed playfully, before looking at him seriously. "But Severus, honestly, I've never seen Potter as focused on one thing as he is with you. I mean, he can't take his eyes off you." They both glanced over their shoulder to find Potter still watching, to see that Lupin had given up trying to talk to him for now.

"The whole school is talking like you're starcrossed lovers or something," she mused, studying him thoughtfully. "You're most vehemently saying you don't want him though. Is sex with him really quite awful? Does he make sure you cum too." She grinned when Severus flushed. "Come on, Severus, we're both seventeen, it's alright to talk about this." She squeezed his hand reassuringly. "This is just me, Severus. What your dad used to say to you, it was wrong - all wrong. This is normal. You are normal. There's nothing wrong with you."

“Well…yes. He does make sure I cum” he said turning bright red feeling very embarrassed about talking about these kinds of things with her, with anyone really. “And I…I guess its not…that bad…but it was still something I didn’t want and now he wont leave me alone” he said looking at Lily his face still very red from the way the conversation was going.

Snape sighed as he looked at his desk. “I don’t know what to do with him Lily, I don’t want a…boyfriend. I don’t even want to have sex with him” he said scratching at his arm, Snape had grown the habit of doing this when he felt he was doing something his father would not approve of and most of the time scratching though a good layer of skin.

Lily laid her hand over Severus', stopping him from scratching. She said nothing about the habit but subtly stopped it. She didn't need to speak, she just understood. "Potter does have a habit of sticking his oar in," she agreed quietly. "I'm not even saying I agree with him entirely. He's an arrogant arse, a good looking one but still a git. But he looks at you like..." She had the good grace to flush then at least, open muggle upbringing or no, some things still brought the colour of embarrassment to her cheeks.

"He looks at you like you're sex on legs or something. I don't know but I can't think it'll hurt any to have someone worship at you a bit like you deserve." She paused, looking at him consideringly. "Most boys our age could care less if their partner climaxes too. That he does care that you're enjoying yourself, that he wants you to live life to the fullest... Severus, I'm not saying you have to be his boyfriend if you don't want to. I just think you should let him a little closer, that's all I'm saying. Let yourself be loved a little more. You're a very attractive man, maybe Potter can make you feel like that if you let him." Snape sighed as he lowered his head. “But I’m worried that he is just using me for sex, what if it’s all just one big act Lily. I know you say he looks at me like ‘sex on legs’ but I don’t want to be seen like that” he said as one of his fingers started scratching his arm again before it stopped again.

“I know you want me to be happy in life Lily…but do you really think that Potter is the one to be it with…I still don’t think I can trust him no matter what he says or does or how he looks at me” he said glancing over his shoulder and catching James eye before quickly looking away again.

"He will have to earn your trust of course," she said softly, "especially after all that has happened. And I know I don't know the half of it, but I won't push." She sighed. "I definitely don't think you should let him take what he wants, or let him use you, but perhaps...perhaps just letting him a little closer wouldn't hurt."

Two rows back, James finally tore his eyes from Severus and began getting out their Potions apparatus. They'd been brewing the antidote to Amortentia after all and would continue this lesson. Remus had been thankfully silent since he'd taken his seat beside him. Never had he been so glad that only his most sensitive friend had taken this subject with him. Sirius and Peter hadn't the slightest interest (or need) for NEWT level Potions.

"Are you going to tell me what is going on?" Remus asked gently.

James grit his teeth. "I...It's complicated..." He blinked at the back of Snape and then looked to his friend. "What exactly is it you and the rest of the school know?"

“Well, we only know what’s floating around really. The school is saying that you got Snape pregnant and a lot of the school say you have secretly been having sex for months without anyone knowing” he said looking at James and relaying any information that he had heard around the school in the last few hours.

“And some are saying that you raped him and are forcing him to carry your child. Of course I don’t believe that you would do something as evil as rape him no matter how much you disliked him before now” he said looking into James eyes. 

James was grinding his teeth now. If anyone deserved the truth, Remus did. He was the one person who wouldn't judge him. Sighing heavily, he said, "This goes no further than you and I, alright?" When Remus nodded, he continued, for his ears only. "There was an accident in the library the other day. This potion, this...whatever it was, it fell on me and Snape and when I saw his memories. His life... Merlin, Remus his life has been awful and I saw..."

James flushed when he remembered the memory of Snape wanking. "I saw pieces of his life that no one has ever seen and I...I came onto him, Remus and when he said no..." He swallowed hard. Remus had gotten the drift, he didn't need to explain himself more on that matter. "Malfoy spiked his pumpkin juice with some obscenely expensive potion that can give a man the ability to get pregnant, we're not sure why yet but...well, once was enough and Snape is pregnant with my baby. That much is true." He stared into Remus' eyes, watching shock register there.

"And...and Saturday," he whispered even quieter, so that only Remus' werewolf hearing made it possible for him to hear the words clearly. "I...we did it again, in the boat house..."

Remus closed his eyes as registered the information James had given him before taking a deep breath and looking at James. “So the first time was forced then?” he said looking at him even if he already knew the answer to the question.

“But since you did it again and away from the castle I’m guess Snape went willingly. So he must trust you a little bit if he was will to do that. You shouldn’t blame yourself so much James, I mean yes what you did was wrong and you shouldn’t have forced him but you are trying to make things right now even if there wasn’t a baby involved. Right?” he asked looking at James with his usual calm eye, no hint of disgust or shame showing in them. Remus was one of the very few people in the school who didn’t automatically jump to conclusions or blame. 

"He doesn't deserve the shit that's happened to him, the things we've done to him," James said. "I want to make amends for that, whether he's carrying my child or not." He thought of Sirius' face when he'd told his friend at the breakfast table 'again' to leave Snape alone. "If Sirius hurts him, I won't forgive him."

Remus nodded, understanding apparently, but then James knew he would. "What are you going to do now? About Snape, I mean."

James turned his gaze to the back of Snape's head once more. "Wait for him to make the next move," he said simply and then the professor stepped into the room and their lesson began.

***

"It really is a lovely room, very cosy," Lily said from where she lay on the rug by the fire in Severus' room. "You even get your own desk in here so you can study in peace and quiet. That'll be perfect when NEWTs come around." Flicking through her Charms text and running her luminous yellow muggle highlighter across a few sentences to be noted for later. When she glanced back over to where Severus was sprawled on the bed with his own text, however, she realised he was very distant and fidgety tonight.

"Are you alright, Severus?" she asked. "You seem...distracted tonight." Severus had been distracted for the last few days in fact. Potter's distance and the increasingly ridiculous whispers of the rest of the school.

Snape snapped his head up having just realized he had been spacing out a bit as he looked over at Lily. “Yes I’m alright. Sorry I guess I just have a lot of things on my mind tonight” he said choosing for the first time in his life to close a potions text book and lay on his side looking at Lily.

“The school is still talking about me and Potter and I guess all there whispering is getting to me a bit…also, Potter doesn’t seem to be following me as much as he used too. I’m not really complaining about that, I just happened to notice” he said in a slightly quieter voice.

Lily frowned. "Maybe he's just finally realised you wanted space. I noticed he's been keeping Black and the rest of them off your back too." She closed her own notes and sat up straight on the rug to look at him properly. "You look a little forlorn. Shall I summon something chocolatey for us?" she said, moving over to his desk. "McGonagall said you could request food from the house elves from your table, just like they do in the teachers' private rooms."

Snape smiled Lily always seemed to no how to cheer him up even if it was just a bit. “I wouldn’t mind some chocolate pudding and tea” he said with a smile as he sat up on his bed and gave a small stretch.

“You no, I don’t think I’m going to like this whole pregnancy thing” he said letting his legs hand over the side of the bed. “I’m going to get really fat and yell at people for no good reason…I apologise now if I do that to you.” He said looking over at Lily.

Lily beamed playfully, "Severus, I am the only person you don't yell at," she chuckled, ordering them both some hot chocolate fudge cake. She passed him his bowl before tucking into her own. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she ate. "So good," she hummed after a mouthful, before considering her friend carefully. "And you won't be fat, by the way, it'll be 100% baby growth. I want to feel it as soon as it starts moving." She waved her spoon warningly at him then.

"I'd better be godmother."

Snape looked down in the bowl of cake in his hands and raised a brow, he was sure he asked for pudding. But he shook it off and ate a spoonful before looking at Lily. “If you want to be godmother you will have to talk to Potter about that, I’m not keeping it” he said calmly as he looked at her placing his bowl on the bed next to him as he felt this would probably be an important talk.

“I am more than happy for you to touch my belly before and when the baby starts moving. You can even be in the delivery room if you really want too, but once it’s born all rights to its life are being handed over to Potter” he said looking into Lily’s shocked green eyes.

"Severus," she said with a gasp. "I know things aren't ideal, that Potter isn't your one true love or anything but this...this is your baby too, not just Potter's. Your son or daughter." When he said nothing she sat beside him. "The situation might be a nightmare and babies may be hard work but they're a gift, Severus." She leaned forward. 

"Is this about money? Is this about support? I can help you, Severus and Potter can too. Don't give up on this part of you so easily."

“It’s all of that and more” he said looking down at his lap. “I don’t the money to raise a child and not only that I have no experience with them. Children learn from there parents how to take care of a child as they grow up…the only thing I know is now to make a child feel worthless and where to hit it to cause the most pain.” He said leaning forward and running his fingers into his hair and remaining that way, hunched over on himself.

“I just can’t do it Lily…the baby would be better off with Potter”

"But you can use your experience to ensure your child has everything you haven't!" she insisted, her eyes glistening with tears. "Severus, do you really think Potter knows how to raise a baby? Of course he doesn't, he'll mess up, he'll make mistakes and he'll learn from them. If a clotpole like Potter can learn to be the best then so can you and Severus..." She gripped his hands, she'd been doing that a lot lately.

"Severus, you have so much love to give."

“I’m not so sure about that” he said lowering his head a little sadly. “Besides Potter wont be alone to raise the baby, he has his parents who will teach him everything and probably spoil there grandchild rotten…and he’ll have you” he said looking up at Lily his eyes half clouded feeling a little sad.

“I no you wont be able to stay away from that baby, you’ll love to much” he said with a half hearted laugh. “No, things will be better this way and probably safer for the baby too.”

"I know you think you're doing what's right, what's best for them, but what do you think they will think when they ask why their other parent didn't want them?" She inhaled deeply. "Severus, please," she begged, a tear spilling then. "You have nine months to think about this, do that for me. For your son or daughter. Think about it, please."

Snape looked at Lily before raising a hand to wipe the tear away from her cheek. Taking a deep sign Snape lowered his head “Alright…I’ll think about it” he said before looking up at her again and seeing how happy his words had made her. But deep down he knew he would probably still give the baby to James to be raised in a loving home.

Realising that was the bets she could expect from Severus at that moment, she squeezed his hand a final time before getting to her feet and gathering up her books. "I've got to go, Head Girl duties - McGonagall makes us patrol the halls for students out of bed you know." She rolled her eyes and gave her best friend a chaste kiss on the cheek before moving to the door. "Sleep well, Severus," she said, giving him a final, concerned glance before leaving him alone with his fidgeting, unsettled atmosphere.

Snape sighed as he looked around the big empty room, he still wasn’t used to having so much space and silence all to himself as he stood and placed his and Lily’s bowls on the desk with a sigh before moving back to the bed and lying down on his side.

“Head of house duties huh? I wonder if that means Potter will be checking the halls too tonight” he said before quickly shaking his head trying to get the thought out of his head. He didn’t care what Potter was doing he could be swimming butt naked in school lake for all he cared.

*** James wasn't swimming in the lake exactly but he was looking out across its dark depths, the half-moon light casting a beautiful light across it and the world beyond. James was sitting in on the opposite side of the Transfiguration courtyard to Snape's rooms. It wasn't intentional thought that had brought him down here, more instinct or perhaps unchecked desire. He was sitting in the arch that formed in one of the walls, his feet dangling over the edge, his back facing the direction of Snape's door.

He had the cloak on him, in the satchel slung over his shoulder but conveniently enough no teachers had come this way so far tonight and Evans, when she'd left Snape's rooms over an hour ago, said nothing to him, pointedly ignored him, in fact. Her idea of encouragement, he supposed. But he did not move. Pressing himself on the slytherin hadn't worked so far, he was trying a different tactic, one that seemed to be frustrating Snape as much as him at least. If Snape didn't ask him, he wouldn't go.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey all my awesome readers just thought I would give you a quick update :)  
> As of now I will be putting up a new chapter of the story every Saturday!!!

Chapter Five

Snape looked up at the ceiling for a long time before throwing his legs over the side of his bed and looked at the floor for a moment before standing with a stretch.

“I guess I should really get ready for bed if I’m not going to study anymore” he said moving over to his draws and pulling out a pair of pyjamas and throwing them onto his bed before moving across the room to his desk chair that stood close to a large glass window that looked outside.

“It’s Sunday tomorrow, maybe I will give myself a little lie in” he said pulling his shirt off over his head and placing it on his chair. He stopped for a moment before looking down at his flat stomach before raising a hesitant hand and touching it the smallest of smiles creeping onto his face.

James shuddered as the chilly night air rushed through him. He had neglected to wear a warmer robe or jumper. Perhaps he should just head back inside. He swung his legs off the arch and back into the courtyard but no sooner had he started walking, than he stopped again. Across the courtyard, through the little window beside Snape's door, he saw Snape. Snape with his long, slender fingers splayed on his stomach. The sight made James' breath catch in his throat.

He hovered on the spot a moment, longing to knock, he even approached the door but forced himself to remember his promise to himself. He stopped. He had to wait for Snape to get him, if he wanted him. That'll be a cold day in hell when that happens, he thought wretchedly.

Snape stroked his stomach a few times before quickly with drawing his hand and shaking his head. “What the hell am I doing, I must be going crazy all of Lily’s words getting into my head” he said with a sigh.

“But still, it’s a wonder why Potter hasn’t tried to come see me. Maybe he finally gave up” he said undoing his trouser and putting them down before folding them and placing them on the back of the chair. “Feels kind of strange having him not try and jump in the halls or the bathroom…or the boat house” he said his mind drifting back to that time and the way James had touched his hot skin. He didn’t even notice that his hand had trailed down to his boxers and his hand was rubbing against the fabric concealing his cock.  
James inhaled sharply at the image he saw through the window. But he couldn't snoop like this nor could he pretend it didn't happen. Inhaling sharply, arousal and desire making his blood thump hungrily through him. He straightened up, willing his flush to vanish from his face and knocked on the door. It took a few moments but eventually, the door cracked open slowly.

"I just... I just came to check if you were alright," he said, stumbling over his own words. "You know, before I head off to bed."  
Snape gave a blush as he saw James at his door and quickly hid behind it feeling very exposed in just his boxers. “Y-yes I’m alright” he said unable to bring himself to look into James’ eyes.

“Sorry, you just caught me getting ready for bed myself…you no…you didn’t come on Friday like you were allowed too” he said glancing up at James.  
James swallowed. "Yeah, you made it clear you'd prefer I didn't so I thought I'd just...you know, give you your space," he said, examining Snape's face, slightly flushed and with dark eyes shining in the diminutive light. 

"Yeah, so... I'll just go. Sleep well, yeah?"

“Wait” Snape said quickly as he reached out and grabbed a corner of James’ shirt not really thinking before quickly letting it go again and pretending like it didn’t happen as he now stood more in the doorway from the move showing his slender body.

“I…I did agree that you can come on Friday’s…I know it’s a day late but you can still come in for a while…if you want to” he said looking at James and for some reason half hoping that he would go into his room.

James flushed as he studied Snape's body before averting his gaze. "I wouldn't want to intrude," he began but Snape had already stepped aside to allow him entry. After a moment's hesitation, James moved forward into the room, looking around as Snape closed the door behind him. It was softly lit by the fire and a few oil lamps. There was a bed and a side table, a desk, a few bookshelves and a wardrobe. It was cosy but not tiny. Bigger than James' bedroom at home at any rate.

"I'm glad you're safe here now," he said absently, before turning to see Snape still only in his boxers.

“I still say I would have been okay in my dorm.” He said side stepping around the room to reach him bed. He knew James had seen his back before but he still felt uneasy having anyone see it as he sat on the edge of his bed and quickly pulled on the shirt to cover himself a bit while still remaining in his boxers.

“So um…Lily asked today if she could be godmother, to the baby” he said nervously sitting on the edge of his bad and feeling stupid for the way he was acting, he’d been the one to invite James in after all even though he could have just said he was fine and sent him back to Griffindor tower. 

James frowned. "If you want her to be," he said simply. He didn't relish the idea, especially seeing as Lily Evans seemed to be the only person in the world Snape cared about. But maybe if Evans were more involved, Snape would eventually be too. It was a small hope at least.

"She's a good person, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather ask." He looked at Snape sitting on the edge of the bed and for some reason, the image seemed to intimate. It made his tongue feel thick and useless in his mouth. "Given the situation, I'd like Remus to be the Godfather," he said then, though that wasn't really what he wanted to say, 'you look so fucking sexy, let me have you' seemed a bit inappropriate.

Snape looked at James a little surprised. “Really? I was sure that you would want Black to be its godfather” he said looking at James before looking to the floor and brushing his toes against the carpet.

“But…I think that Lupin would make a good godfather, he seems nice and he’s pretty relaxed…well when it’s not a full moon anyway” he said unconsciously tugging at the corners of his shirt trying to hide his legs even if he didn’t realize he was doing it. 

James was surprised Snape had agreed, after all, Remus had nearly killed Snape in his werewolf form. But then, that had been Sirius' fault entirely and it occurred to him that Snape was trying too. Trying to make the best of things, as well as he knew how.

Feeling braver, encouraged Snape's uncharacteristic shyness, he ran a hand through his hair. "Aren't you lonely here all by yourself when there's no lessons and Evans is off tending to her duties?" he asked softly, eyes glowing rich brown.

Snape lowered his head, he was lonely with no one around to talk too, but would he actually tall James that. “I…I like being on my own. It’s quiet and I can do whatever I want” he said looking up at James.

“But…I will admit that it does get lonely being here all by myself…with no one to talk too. But I guess that cant be help” he said touching his bed sheets. “I have to stay in here…where I’m safe and no one can get to me.”

James stared at him for a moment, before approaching him, pausing when he was standing between Snape's legs. "I can come keep you company, whenever you want," he whispered huskily, his voice rich with unmistakable want. "I'll do whatever you want."

“I bet you will and I bet it all involves my bed and floor” he said with blush sitting back on his bed a bit more so James wasn’t between his legs so much. “I’m not some sex doll Potter that constantly needs to be played with.” He said blushing at his own words and wondering if James had even ever heard of a sex doll before as he had never once wondered if you could get something like that in the magical world. 

James flushed. "Am I mistaken in thinking you wanted me then? I can leave if you want," he growled, embarrassed. Had he read Snape wrong? If he had, why wasn't he pushing him away completely. He sighed in frustration. "In case you didn't notice, the last time was all about you - what you wanted, making you feel good. I didn't take anything for myself until you asked me to."

“I no that” he said starting to scratch at him arm. “And…and it did…feel good…having you touch me like that” he said with a blush scratching a little harder at his arm.

“But I…I just want someone to talk to sometimes and…” he was going to say ‘wait for me to make the first move’ but be couldn’t bring himself to say it and admit he wouldn’t mind it happening again as the marks on his back seemed to hurt and he scratched his arm having turned it red from scratching it so hard.

James lay his hand over the place on Snape's arm where he was scratching, making it sore. It was an action (unknowing to him) that Lily did often, the casual touch but it seemed to startle Severus that he would care enough to stop him. James gave him a soft look that would have been a smile, if he had dared. Gripping the forearm between his fingers, he brushed the tip of his wand over it, healing the inflamed skin before putting his wand away.

Slowly, giving Severus time to stop him, he sat on the edge of the bed beside him. "We can talk," he said easily, as if it were the most natural thing. "I thought you should know, I've told Sirius to back off, that I mean it this time. I think he gets it, finally. Not that he's pleased." He ran his hand through his hair, exasperated with his best friend. "He'll have to get used to it though. We aren't kids anymore, he can't use that as an excuse for being a wanker."

“I don’t think he will ever like me Potter, no point in trying to change him now. All you have to worry about is what he will think of the baby when it’s born” he said looking at James “if the poor thing ends up looking anything like me he probably wont except it.” He said as he looked at James wondering if Sirius would stop being his friend over such a small matter as how his baby looked.

Snape continued to look at James before realizing that he had sat down on his bed next to him and he blushed slightly but made know effort to move. “So um…how did you know that I was still awake?” he asked.

"He doesn't have to like you," James said, "but he is an adult now legally and he should realise that just because he doesn't like someone, it doesn't give him the right to be a bully. Besides, if he thinks he can abuse the...other father of my child he's got another thing coming." He flushed slightly at the seriousness of his tone, then darker at Snape's question.

"I was outside anyway, looking out on the lake," he said, "helps me think. But when I turned round I saw you in the window." He decided truth was probably the best course of action with Severus.

Snape blushed as his head whipped around to look at his window seeing the curtains still open a moment of panic flashed across his face before he looked at James again.  
“So…what did you see?” he asked hoping that James hadn’t seen him touching his stomach or worse touching himself even if it was for a brief moment.

"Just you," he said softly, a sultry tone to his words that left little to what he thought about seeing Snape with only his boxers on. He omitted that he'd seen Snape petting his belly absently - there was no need to embarrass him further. 

"You're quite fit, you know."

Snape gave a small blush before looking away. “No I’m not. I’m thin and have no muscles and my hair always look greasy no matter what I do” he said playing with a stand of his hair that hung in his face.

“I don’t need you lying to me to make me feel good Potter. I no what I am I grew up hearing it all” he said pulling his long thin legs up to his chest and resting his head on his knees as he looked at James but not meeting his eyes. 

James leant in, just enough so that he could catch a lock of Snape's hair with his fingers. Immediately the slytherin jerked away. James smiled sadly. "Maybe it is sometimes, everyone's is at some point in the week," he mused. "But most of the time it's shiny and sleek." He leant closer then. "And muscles aren't necessarily the epitome of good-looking, not to everyone."

“Oh? So you are one of those who likes thin small framed people?” he asked looking at him, he knew James was trying to get on his good side and make him like his appearance but something like that was defiantly hard Snape having been taught so early on that he was ugly and would be very unappealing to others. 

“I honestly don’t see what you find so appealing in me Potter…I really don’t” he said with a small sigh.

James blinked. "Well, your hair is like silk, glossy, the complete opposite to mine. I like that." He grinned wolfishly. "And you're right, I like slender. I like pale, milky skin. Your eyes - no one has eyes like yours." He leant even closer, so that his words were dusting Snape's lips. "You're fucking wicked clever and your voice is..." He shuddered in delight and his grin broadened. "And let's not even mention your arse or cock..."

“Yes lets not mention them please!” he said turning bright red as he hid his face in his raise legs trying to get his face away from James fearing he might try and kiss him if he let his guard down to much but soon turned his head slightly so he could look at James with one eye.

“So…does this mean you are gay now?” he asked “I thought you were in love with Lily” he said having noticed that he hadn’t been following her around or paying any attention to her in the last few weeks.

"I think maybe I like both," James said thoughtfully. "I still find girls attractive, you know. And for the record, I haven't fancied Lily for a while now. I gave up on her when it became clear that even after a few years of persistence she wasn't interested." His eyes blazed as he looked at Snape. "She's a very attractive girl, but right now you're the only one that interests me," he ducked his head to whisper conspiratorially, "the only one that gets me fired up..."

“Okay that’s enough out of you” he said putting a hand on his chest and pushing his away a bit so he wasn’t so close. “If you keep talking like that you are going to get yourself all aroused and I’m not going to let you do anything to me” he said even though his body gave a small shudder to James’ words and hated that he had such a power over him.  
James chuckled and shuffled back a bit on the bed to give Snape some space. "I was wondering, by the way. I know it's a long way off but I was hoping on the Christmas break you'd come to visit my family with me. Not as my boyfriend or anything," he added. "But I'd like to let them know they will be grandparents and I'd like you to be with me when I do. It'll feel like I'm spewing your secrets if you're not with me."

He smiled reassuringly. "They'd love to have you and Lily can come too, if that'd make you feel better."

Snape looked at James with stunned eyes, meet James’ parents! The idea sounded insane he felt no reason to go see his parents he didn’t care if he told them without him there.

“As kind as the offer is Potter I don’t care if you tell them without me there. I honestly thought you would have sent them an owl telling them the good news by now” be said moving onto the bed a bit more so he could put his legs down and have then spread across the bed a bit.

James frowned. "I want to tell them in person, it's not the kind of thing I can tell them by letter. Besides," he paused until Snape met his eyes again. "The point of it was more that I wanted you there. Please, consider it."

Snape looked at James and he could help but wonder why everyone seemed to be asking him to think about things these days that he had clearly already given an answer to.

“Alright, I’ll think about it. But if I choose not to go you wont argue with me got” he said pointing at him. “And if you really want your parents to know what I look like I guess you could take a picture of me with you or something.”

James laughed softly, without malice. "It's nothing to do with what you look like and everything to do with who you are." He sighed, sitting back against the headboard of the bed. "Though both are equally appealing." He chuckled when Snape looked shocked.

A small silence fell and after a little while, he saw Snape settle more comfortably on the bed, more relaxed. "I want to do something for you," James said at last. "Not sex - well, I mean that too if you want but something else. Anything else. Tell me what to do." He rolled forward on the bed slightly so he was sitting upright with his legs crossed patiently.  
“You…want to do something with me” the idea almost sounded foreign to Snape. Someone actually wanted to do something with him. Snape remained silent for a moment glancing around his room before seeing the small clock on his desk, it read 1:00am and Snape had a feeling James wouldn’t be leaving his room anytime soon.

Getting to his feet Snape moved around to the trunk at the end of his bed and opened it before closing it again a few seconds later before moving back onto the bed with a small blush. “Would you…I mean…would you brush my hair and tie it back for me” he said placing a comb and a single worn white hair band on the bed.

“…I normally tie it back so I don’t sleep on it, even if it does still fall down at the front” he said blushing and unable to meet James’ eyes. 

James leapt at the opportunity, taking the brush from Snape. He knelt up behind Snape on the bed, the mattress bouncing him slightly in his eagerness so that he momentarily pressed against Snape. "Sorry," he muttered sheepishly, before reaching up. He ran the brush gently from root to tip. He was an only child and growing up often brushed his mother's hair in a similar way. Now it was different. Now it was with Severus.

Breathing deliberately slow, he brushed gently, taking his time in the task. Snape was actually allowing him to do something for him.

Snape sat quietly as James brushed his hair for him. No one had ever brushed his hair for him but then again he had never asked and the feeling we wonderful, James was taking such care with his hair that he sometimes forgot that it was James back there. Snape let out a contented sigh as he relaxed a bit and his back briefly touched against James before he sat out a bit again from the contact.

When James had to admit that the hair was brushed through the pulled the hair tie off the handle of the brush. Still breathing softly, he ran his fingers through Snape's hair from the front, gathering it in his hands. He used the opportunity to massage Snape's scalp gently. "I can plait it you know, my mum taught me," he mused quietly, "or just a ponytail?" While he waited for Snape to answer, he began to rub his temples and his scalp soothingly.

“Just a ponytail would be fine…thank you” he said with a small blush and he gave a small smile and he felt glad that James was behind him and couldn’t see it as he closed his eyes enjoying the feel of James’ fingers running though his hair. If he had known it felt this good he would have tried to ask someone to do it years ago.

James slid his fingers through Snape's hair a final time, before reluctantly drawing it into a ponytail. When he was done, he caressed the little brush of hair and sat back, but did not move from behind Severus. He waited for the man to turn and face him.

Snape opened his eyes again after a few seconds realizing that James was done and he reached back and touched the small pony tail before turning to James and seeing that he had made no attempt to move back in front of his.

“…Thank you, for doing my hair” he said looking at James as he touched the stray hair at the front that was too short to stay in the tie. “You know…you are actually the only person who has ever brushed my hair for me…it was really nice.”

James blinked. He liked that this was something only he had done for Severus. He liked it too much. "You're welcome," he murmured, crossing his legs and looking at Snape. He looked quite different with his hair tied back. Extraordinarily young and vulnerable - even more so now he wasn't scowling. For moment he imagined that Snape was looking at him with an equally appreciative expression. But he must have imagined it.

Snape looked at James for a few moments just watching him sitting at the foot of his head before glancing away from him not wanting to seem like he was sharing at him even though he had been.

“Um…its starting to get pretty late, I’m sure your dorm mates are starting to miss” he said glancing over at his clock, even though he probably knew the whole of griffindor tower was asleep by this point.

James shifted uncertainly. When had he started to prefer Severus' company than anyone else's? "Yeah, it's quite late," he agreed unwillingly, beginning to shuffle off the bed. He paused when he got to his feet and looked round at Severus. "I could...err...stay, if you'd like?" He flushed. "Not for sex. For company I mean," he suggested, just so show Snape he was amenable, if Snape wanted.

Snape felt uncertain by the thought of having James stay in his room, would he be able to keep his hands to himself if Snape did agree to let him stay. He watched James as he stood next to the and he weighed his options for if he should or not.

Finally Snape came to a decision and gave James a small nod. “But only if you promise not to try anything with, if you do I wont let you in my room anymore” he said looking up at him from his place on the bed.

Seeing this as an opportunity to prove himself, James nodded seriously. "Gryffindor's honour," he swore seriously. He looked around the room then. "Want me to transfigure another bed?" he asked carefully, never knowing what Snape really meant and unwilling to upset the precarious calm they'd managed to achieve between them.

“No its alright…my bed is big enough for us both to sleep” he said turning his head away as he spoke not wanting to see James reaction to the thought of them sharing bed.

“…and you can wear my pyjama bottoms if you want…although they will probably be way to small for you” he said shifting uncomfortable on the bed just remember what he was actually wearing.

James smirked playfully, "Why, Severus Snape, did you just insinuate that I have a fat arse?" he chuckled, shucking off his trousers, socks and shoes so that he was standing just in his boxers he licked his dry lips to moisten them as he found Snape staring at him sans trousers. He glanced quickly to the bed, uncomfortable and nervous all of a sudden.  
"What side do you want?" he asked, sliding under the covers and waiting for Severus' answer before deciding which way to shift. He felt safer under the duvet. His skin was tingling in anticipation for what was to come - sharing a bed with Snape.

“I don’t really side, but I guess I do like to face the door. I always felt safer that way if I could see who was coming” he said with a small smile as he crawled across the bed and under the sheets as James moved to the other side.

Snape felt weird having someone in his bed with him, he had never shared a bed with anyone in him life yet another first for Snape that night. “Remember no touching” he said as he picked up his want and extinguished the fire and the lamps leaving nothing but the moonlight coming in thought the window before Snape place his wand down and snuggled under the warm duvet and shutting his eye for a second before opening them again and looking at James finding that he was facing him and he was looking right back at him in the dim light of the room. 

"No touching," James echoed, "not until you touch me first." He smirked in the dimness. He could just make out Snape's face illuminated by the light from the window. He slid his hands under the pillow his head was on to resist the temptation to touch him. His cock pressed feebly against the material of his boxers but there was a good few inches between them on the bed and Snape wouldn't know unless he snuggled closer or touched him - both as unlikely as the next.

But then, him letting me get into bed with him is unlikely and here I am, he thought. His eyes burned warm brown in the dark.

Snape gave a small nod not sure if James could actually see it but just knowing that he did it was fine with him. He still wasn’t used to having someone in his bed with him though and he half wondered if James would be able to keep his hands to himself through the night, if he did manage it the thought of letting him stay again at some point sounded fair.

“Well…goodnight” he said in a small voice snuggling under the covers more and keeping the distance between him and James not wanting to touch him at any point in the night and scare himself because he forgot he was there.

"Night, Severus," James murmured, closing his eyes. He was hyper-aware of Severus' every breath, every time he shifted in sleep. It was a long time before he eventually found himself able to relax - in a good way. He watched the peaceful calm of the slytherin's face while he slept and smiled to himself as sleep took him.  
When he finally awoke, he didn't open his eyes at first, but allowed the awareness of the waking world to come slowly to him. As it did so, he realised that Snape was quite a bit closer to him than he'd been when he'd drifted off.

Snape murmured as he slept, he felt so peaceful and relaxed. When had this sudden calm taken a hold of him, he gave a small smile as he stroked something soft that he was holding in his hand he just guessed it was the bed sheet as he had a tendency to hold onto it while he slept not knowing her was actually holding onto a corner of James’ shirt. 

"Hmm," James murmured sleepily. If Snape wanted to cuddle he wouldn't object, but he was still hesitant to do anything too forward until Snape blatantly made the first move. He shifted closer and rested his head on Snape's so that he could feel the other boy's breath soothingly against his throat and chest. One of his hands reached out between them but instead of touching Snape as he truly wanted, he let it lay on the bed between them, just a hairsbreadth from Snape's chest.

Snape’s eyes jolted open as he felt something touch his head and he immediately backed away and fell out of the side of the bed onto the floor. “Ow” he said with a small groan sitting up and rubbing the back of his head before looking back to the bed. He had completely forgotten that he had let James spend the night with him and he had completely let his guard down. 

James jerked completely awake at the sudden movement and leapt up onto the mattress, staring around, only to find Snape scrambling up off the floor. "W-What the-?" he gasped out, rubbing sleep from his eyes with the heel of his palm. "Are you alright?" he asked, but as he shuffled forward to give Snape a hand up, they both saw his, James' morning erection pushing urgently up at his boxers.

James cursed softly under his breath. "Sorry," he muttered sheepishly, cheeks colouring. He didn't need to explain it better than that, it was a frequent, uncontrollable morning reaction that Snape got too. The simplicity of sleeping with a man, he supposed as he tried to push his boner down, heading for the door on the opposite corner of the room which he assumed was the bathroom.

"I'll go deal with it, back in a sec..."

Snape sat eyes wide on the floor, he had only been awake a few minutes and already the world seemed to be going crazy. He quickly shook his head trying to clear his mind before undoing his hair and looking down at his own erection pushing against his boxers.

“Now you stop that you know I’m not going to touch you” he said looking down at his groin before standing up and moving across the room and opening one of the draws to his dresser and pulling out a new pair of boxers before sighing. “I said no damn it so you go down this minute before Potter comes back and tries to molest me!”

In the bathroom, James couldn't help himself, he let out a loud, pained groan. He braced one forearm against the wall above the toilet, resting his forehead against it and clenching his eyes shut as he fisted his other hand, hard and rough over his aching prick. He couldn't stop the sound from leaving him, even as he grit his teeth. Panting heavily, his boxers on the floor forgotten, he pinched the crown of his cock, splaying the slit deliciously as it oozed pre-come.

"Fuck," he panted using the fluid to slick his jerking movements, his hips arching as he bucked urgently into his hand. He needed to finish this quickly. Now.  
Snape turned his head to the door as he heard James’ voice travel though it and he took a few step towards the door before reaching for the door handle and stopping as his fingers briefly touched the handle.

“What am I doing? I know what he is doing in the I should just leave him be…but…then again” he said looking at the handle for a long time as his hand hovered over it. “One little look could hurt…could it?” he asked himself as he took a hold of the handle and slowly opened it enough to see inside and his face turned red as he caught sight of James fisting his erection.

Sweat beaded across James' body, his muscles drawn taut with passion shining with sweat. His mouth open slightly, allowing the sounds of ecstasy to escape. "Shit!" he cursed, the tendons in his arm and hand tense as he jerked his cock. It thickened painfully, throbbing in his grasp.   
"Oh, fuck, please," he gasped to no one in particular. His morning wank wasn't usually this intense. Then again, he didn't always wake up next to Snape's lithe, delectable body. He was panting heavily now and when his eyes opened to look down at the hot, purple erection in his grasp, he caught sight of the door and saw it open a fraction. Saw Snape watching.

Snape watching from the doorway and his eyes glanced away for moment, he knew he shouldn’t be watching like some peeping tom. But he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander back to the scene and watch James.

He breathed lightly as he watched and one of his hands trailed down to boxers rubbing at the fabric that hid his erection as he gave a small murmured moan and he quickly covered his mouth with his free hand as the other travelled inside his boxes and took a hold of his erection and started to stroke it.

James was salivating as he watched, his fingers clenching around his own hardness, his hand hastening over it as he watched Snape touch himself - touch himself because he'd seen him! His eyes were burning with desire as they watched Snape. He felt his insides tense as he did so, willing Snape to open his eyes and see him looking, see that they were sharing pleasure.

Look at me, he whispered in his mind. He licked his lips. His toes curled as he hurtled towards his climax and yet fought to hold it back until Snape looked at him at the same time.

Look at me.

Snape panted as he touched himself faster while keeping his mouth covered so he wasn’t heard moaning. He opened his eyes looking back at James watching to watch the scene unfold or as he caught James’ eyes looking at him and he quickly fell backwards from the door.

“He saw me…he saw he” he said in panting breaths as he turned red. How was he going to explain this, there was no way.

"Severus," James panted, then after licking his lips, groaned it, louder, wanting Snape to hear him. "Severus, please." He wanted Snape to come back, he wanted Snape to ask him, to come to him. Just one word. He pressed his head against his arm and closed his eyes, the image of Snape touching himself while he watched him driving him faster towards his orgasm.

He was about to burst. His body was shaking and twitching with desire, on breaking point.

Snape covered his ears trying to block out the sound of James’ called voice, calling his name while he masturbated. What should he do, should he keep watching? Get dressed and leave the room as fast as possible? His mind swam with questions as he pulled his legs up to his chest using any method he could to block James out and pretend he didn’t see or hear anything. 

"Fuck!" James growled out and unable to hold back any longer, he spilled himself over his fingers with the image of Severus imprinted on the back of his eyelids. He remained there for a moment, breathing heavily, waiting for his erection to fade entirely. After he'd recovered, he emptied his bladder in the toilet, flushed and cleaned himself up in front of the mirror before pulling his boxers back on and returning to the other room.

Severus was sitting on the bed with his knees drawn up to his chest - probably to hide his own erection, James thought. He gave the slytherin a reassuring smile as he closed the bathroom door behind him. "It's alright you know," he said gently, coming to stand in front of Severus, still slightly flushed from his orgasm. "I don't mind that you looked." His voice was low, husky.

“…I wasn’t looking…it’s not right to look as another man doing that” he said not looking at James with his head on his legs while he scratched his arm he’d been doing it since he backed away from the door and had managed to make his arm bleed.

“But I…I did look even though I know I shouldn’t have…I’m sorry…I’m sorry” he said feeling ashamed of himself for having watched James.

James knelt on the edge of the bed, seizing Snape's wounded arm. He said nothing, he didn't have to. He knew this was a repercussion, a habit born from his childhood abuse. Kneeling properly on the bed, James met Snape's eyes briefly, before caressing the skin around the sore patch gently.

"Who is to say what's right and wrong?" James asked softly, "there's only the two of us here to know what goes on between us. We can please ourselves. There's nothing wrong with watching someone do that if that person wanted you to look," he paused until Snape met his eyes again. "If that person was thinking of you while they were doing it." There it was, just in case Snape had any lingering doubt.

Snatching his wand off the side-table, James healed the wound and then lowered his head so that his lips gently brushed across the healed, but still sensitive skin.  
“But…but it’s not right. Men shouldn’t watch each other doing things like this” he said looking as James as he watched him touch his arm gentle and show him such love that it was almost hard for him to watch but he kept his eyes focused on James.

“I…I should really get dressed…I can’t stay in my room all day” he said looking at James. “And maybe you should head back to Griffindor Tower, you are head boy after all you are meant to be setting a good example for the other students and being out all night isn’t good.”

James paused, but did not relinquish his hold on Snape's arm. "Men can do whatever they like - with women or with other men. Dumbledore is gay, I'm sure you realise? Do you think anything less off him? Do you think what he's doing is wrong? What about Lily, if she were to fall in love with a woman, would you care for her any less?" His voice was gentle but firm. Was this the true reason behind Snape's constant rejection? Why he wanted to avoid their baby?

Snape knew same-sex couples weren't a taboo in the wizarding world, but he had a strong feeling that it had been in the home Severus had grown up in.

"Severus," he began slowly, "You hurt yourself because you felt good watching me?" he asked. "I've seen you doing it before, but I've only just realised what it means. Is it a stress thing or a subconscious punishment for doing something your father believed was wrong?"

Snape looked at James confused he had no idea what he was talking about. He had scratched himself raw for so many years that he didn’t even realize that he did it, he looked at his arm seeing the pink tinge to his skin before looking at James.

“What happened to my arm?” he asked looking back at James, his eyes showing that he wasn’t playing dumb before looking at his other hand and seeing blood under his tails from the scratching.

"You scratched it until it bled," James said, "I've seen you do it before. I've seen Evans stop you unconsciously, like she does it often and I stopped you before too." He paused, studying Snape's expression. "I think it's a subconscious thing, from your Dad. Am I right?"

Snape lowered his head sadly as he looked at his arm in James’ hold. “I think…I think I remember that I used to do when my father would yell at me for something. I think I was about 4 when it started…didn’t realize I still did it.”

He looked back as James as he kept his head on his knees and let his hair fall into his face a bit. “I guess I really am a mess aren’t I?”

"You have no idea how strong you are, to have endured that for so long," James murmured. "You're not a mess, you're wounded, that's the difference." His thumb caressed the sensitive, reddened skin a final time before he released it. "You're not doing anything wrong, you know, in being here with me. If it suits you and suits me, we've no one else's approval to worry about."

Snape gave a small nod as he drew his arm up to chest and hiding it from view. “Thank you…for spending the night and keeping me company…and doing my hair for me as well” he said in a quiet voice as he looked into James’ eyes.

“But you really should start heading back, breakfast will start in the great hall soon and I’m sure you would like to tell the wolf that you have chosen him to be godfather to the baby.”

James blinked. He thought that might be Severus' way of saying he wanted to be alone now. He didn't want to leave him alone though. 

Suddenly, there was a brusque knock on the door before it opened and a bright, bubbly Lily Evans hurried in, closing the door behind her. Of course Severus had given her leave to enter his rooms as she pleased. Why did that notion bother him so much?

"Morning Severus!" she sang happily as she swept off her outer robe and hung it on the rack in the corner. "Nearly afternoon, actually. You never sleep in, you must've needed the-" She cut short as she turned, half-way through smoothing down her windswept auburn locks as she realised Snape was not alone in the room. Her almond shaped green eyes swept over Severus and James, both only wearing their boxers and Snape in a night shirt. She flushed.

"Oh, my. I... I'm sorry Severus I didn't..." She swallowed hard. "I didn't realise you had company. I'll just go."

“No Lily its okay nothing happened or is going to happen” he said looking at her and giving a small smile. “And I know I slept in, sorry I didn’t end up going to sleep until really late.” He said apologetically.

“I’m getting up now” he said slowly pulled his legs down and glad to see his erection was gone as he put his legs over the side of the bed.

Lily smiled, still embarrassed but clearly happy for her friend as well. He'd overcome a major personal boundary after all. "Of course, Severus," she said, before turning to James. "Nice pants, Potter," she smirked.

James' cheeks burned. "Thanks," he said, lifting his chin a little in defiance as he pulled on his trousers and looked around for his shirt. As he was pulling it on, he glanced to the two friends. "What are you two up to on this fine Sunday?"

“Well, Lily was saying yesterday about going for a walk down by the lake. The exercise and fresh air is good for the baby apparently” he said looking at James before moving to grab his clothes.

“I’ll be back in 2 minutes” he said before quickly moving into the bathroom and removing his nightshirt and boxers before getting dressed in his day clothes and rejoining the two griffindor’s in his room again.

Lily was still looking between the two of them curiously, as if seeing something that intrigued her. "You're welcome to join us, Potter." She looked to Severus. "Unless Severus needs a break from your company, of course. I'm sure you're quite overbearing at times."

James scoffed, casting a freshening charm on his body and clothes, before running a hand through his hair. "Cheers, Evans, you're generous with your opinions aren't you," he muttered. Severus stood beside her so easily. Not for the first nor last time, jealousy coiled in his belly like an ugly serpent. "I'll do whatever Severus wants," he looked to the other boy. "Do you want me to go?"

“I think you should spend the day with your friends” he said looking at James before moving across the room and picking up his hair brush. “You don’t want to give Black another excuse to hate me by keeping you away and I’m sure you would like to talk to Lupin as well” he said calmly as he started to brush his tangled hair.

With a frown, James shrugged. He wanted to tell him that it didn't matter what Sirius thought and that Remus would understand but he knew this was Snape's way of diplomatically asking for him to leave. "Come find me if you want me," he said, holding his gaze a moment longer than necessary, before leaving the room.  
Lily blinked. "He stayed the night?" she asked, intrigued. "Did you...?" She trailed off suggestively.

Snape gave a small smile “Yes Lily he stayed the night and no nothing happened we just sat and talked that’s all” he said as he sat down on the edge of his bed looking at her.

“I’m not really sure why I asked him to stay though, I mean it was really late so I still could have kicked him out…or just not let him in, in the first place” he said as he thought about last night.

Lily beamed warmly at him, rubbing his upper arm gently. "Talking is good, it means he wants to know you, really know you rather than just your body," she said brightly. "And the way he looked at you... Goodness, Severus, James Potter is absolutely smitten with you." She chuckled playfully. "Look at you, ensnaring the Head Boy and Quidditch Captain with your charms. You devil."

Looping her arm in his, she plucked up the basket she'd set down by the door when she'd come in. "Shall we head down to the lake? I've got breakfast?"

Snape smiled and gave a small laughed. “Alright Lily you win, lets go” he said as they left his room and starting making there way onto the grounds. “And for some of the night I think he was trying to entice me to sleep with him Lily. He kept whispering in my ear and telling me things” he said.

“Are you really sure he’s not after my body Lily?”

Lily raised a brow. "Of course he is," she said, rolling her eyes. "You're fit and clever, of course he wants your body, but he wants the rest as well." She caressed the arm she held reassuringly. She always did it, it was just instinctual now. An unwitting counterpart to the way Severus scratched himself sometimes.

"Isn't it nice having him chase after you? Not even a little bit?" she teased gently as they made their way down across the hill toward the lack. It was chilly but dry and the rest of the students hadn't ventured out yet so they had the entire expanse of Hogwarts grounds to themselves.

“I’m still not sure yet. But I guess I am getting used to his company a bit now, but I did get freaked out this morning and fell out of bed, I forgot he was there” he said with a small laugh feeling a bit silly.

“But, I have to admit I was very relaxed and calm before that” he smiled walking closer to Lily as they reached the lake. “Why don’t we sit by the tree, it will block some of the wind out and it’s pretty nice under there” he smiled pointing to the tall tree.

Lily spread the picnic blanket out under the tree and sat down, digging through the picnic basket and pulling out a muggle thermal flask of tea and two plates filled with sandwiches and fruit. She also pulled out a few cakes she had made for Severus before and knew he'd like. 

Plucking up a sandwich, she chewed thoughtfully, staring out across the lake. In the distance, the giant squid was stretching languidly on the surface, as if enjoying the morning sun. "Mum and Dad are taking Petunia and me to France for Christmas," she said pensively. "What will you do? I don't like to think of you rattling around Spinner's End on your own. Or even Hogwarts for that matter. I don't want you to be lonely on Christmas..."

Snape dropped his sandwich at the question and looked at Lily wondering what sort of response to give.

Remember James wants you to go and meet his parents so they can meet you and probably judge you. Snape thought

“Well um…James sort of…invited me to meet his parents” he murmured in a very low voice hoping she wouldn’t hear. “Oh you no I will just stay here at hogwarts like I always do and probably spend most of my time in the hospital wing having people poke and pod me” he said with a nervous laugh.

Lily's head snapped to the side to face him. "Potter wants you to stay with his parents?" she was awestruck. "Goodness, he does like you, doesn't he?" After a moment of staring, she pushed the plate of cakes toward him.

"I've met them before at the platform, Mr and Mrs Potter. They're an older couple, I think they had trouble conceiving James or something as they're a lot older than most parents. I don't think they're in the best of health either, from what I saw of them." She looked back to Severus then. "They adore him, he's their only son. They'll adore you too. It'll be good for you to go there, Severus. They'll welcome you into their family like you deserve, whether you decide to be with Potter or not. You're still the other father to their grandchild. You deserve to have a family, to be loved."

“But adults make me jumpy, no matter how old they are” he said eating a piece of the offered cake and giving a small smile enjoying the taste before putting his attention back on Lily.

“I just don’t know about this Lily. What if I get there and I go all weird and they find me…curled up in a cupboard or something. There going to think I’m a total freak and want me out of there faster than I can say ‘hello’” he said as he turned his head to look out over the lake with a sigh dreading the thought of being in James’ house with his parents and having no way to escape.

"You're only a floo away from Hogwarts, Severus," she said softly. "They're good people and much as I hate to say it, Potter is smitten with you. He won't let anything happen to you. I think it'll be good to be in a family environment." When her friend didn't say anything for some time, Lily poured tea from the flask into one of the cups she'd brought with her and handed it to Severus.

"I know you're scared, Severus, of the baby, of Potter, of what's going to happen when you leave here," she gestured to the grounds of Hogwarts around them. "But you're not alone and being afraid has never stopped you from doing anything before. Try to...you know, just go with it. Take each day as it comes. Everything happens for a reason. It'll be alright, you'll see."

***

James sighed as he leaned his head against the tiled wall of Snape's bathroom. He voided his bladder and sleepily waited for the flow to stop. It was half way through December now and this was far from the first time he'd stayed the night at Severus'. They hadn't touched again though, not sexually at any rate and Severus hadn't peeped on him the few times he'd had to relieve himself of his morning erection.

Luckily, he didn't have that problem this morning and he washed his hands quickly after flushing, creeping back into bed. Severus was still fast asleep and he rolled toward James' body when James lay back down. James didn't touch him but didn't move away, looking down at Severus' sleeping face, just inches from his chest.

Snape let out a small hum in his sleep feeling James get back into bed as the mattress sunk a bit and he moved closer to James as his baby bump belly touched him and he let out a murmured and moved away not liking how could James was from leaving the bed and be rolled onto his back raising the covers a bit with his bump.

James smiled tiredly, stretching out and caressing the slight bump through the sheets. It wasn't that big but on Snape it looked bigger. Beautiful. Since it seemed Severus was waking slowly, James smiled and wriggled down in the sheets, his head of tousled hair disappearing under the covers and his lips sliding over the round belly.

"Morning baby," he panted, leaving the endearment open so that it could include Severus as well - he could practically hear the slytherin blushing. "Sleep well?" he asked. He rested his head on the bump. He could hear something going on in there, but it was too early to be anything to do with the baby. Most likely just normal belly noises but he liked listening all the same.

“Potter what are you doing” he asked looking at him as he rubbed his eyes. “Your face is cold what have you been doing sticking your head out the window?” he asked yawning before sitting up a bit in bed and watching James move with his belly.

Honestly he didn’t understand what James found so fascinating about it, the only thing Snape could think when he saw it was ‘great I’m getting fat’ and ‘my back is going to be crippled by the end of this’.

"Sorry, I lean it against the tiles when I piss," James murmured, his voice filled with sleep and playfulness. He massaged his belly dotingly, placing a kiss just above Snape's bellybutton. Resting his head there, his arms wrapped around Snape's waist and he laid there, still dazed from sleep and relaxed. "Sunday mornings with you are good," he murmured happily.

“Oh yes, and I just love how handsy you’ve gotten recently” he said sarcastically as he looked down at James and seeing a big stupid gin on his face that said ‘yes I know I am’.

Snape sighed as he leaned his head back against the head board of the bed trying to wake himself up a bit before picking up his wand and airing it at the fire place where flames instantly sprang to life and started to slowly warm up the room. 

"The baby knows you're there all the time, it's inside you," James said reasonably, "I want her to know I'm here too." He let his hands caress Snape's back slowly, digging his fingers into the little knotted muscles there. Carrying a baby was hard enough for a woman, even harder for a man, he knew Snape complained about his back often and concentrated on rubbing away the pain with his cheek still resting on his stomach.

"I definitely think it's going to be a her, you just wait 'til Pomfrey does the next scan, you'll see."

“Hoping for a daughter then are you Potter?” he asked looking down at him and shifting his back a bit every time he thought James was getting to close to one of the old scars on him back.

“And do tell what makes you so certain it’s a girl? Did you learn some sort of new magic to see into the future and not tell me?” he asked as he gave a small but still a little forceful poke to James’ forehead. 

James winced but grinned through it, working out a particularly stubborn knot from Severus' lower back. "I just know. I don't really mind what it is as long as it's healthy but I know it's a girl. I can sense these things. I reckon I should be the next Divination teacher." He could see the slightest smile tugging at Severus' lips at his behaviour and it made his stomach flutter. 

"Your dad looks very dashing when he's trying not to smile at me, baby," he murmured into Severus' belly.

“Don’t go telling it such lies” he said with a small glare “and you no I’m going to really laugh if you end up with a son, then someone can tell him that though the whole pregnancy you called him a girl” he said trying not to giggle at the thought.

“Also I think it would be best you don’t do divination for a career. You never stay awake in that class so I doubt you would be able to teach it. Because you see your dad is pretty stupid and is really only good at catching small gold balls in the air.” He said to the bump with a grin.

"I make a fairly decent chaser, too," James smirked, "and lover." His eyes burned brightly as he looked up at Severus. He couldn't help but notice that while Snape didn't necessarily relish him touching his back, lately, as long as he wasn't looking at it, or touching one of the scars, he was still permitted to touch it on occasions such as this. He wondered if he should consider it a milestone in their odd relationship.

“Now there is no reason to tell the baby that, it doesn’t care besides for all it knows you could be lying to make yourself look good” he said with a smile as he arched his back a bit as James touched a sensitive knot in his back and he gave a look of discomfort.

"Sorry," James said, "tender?" He reached into the bedside table for the squat jar Pomfrey had handed them for all Severus' future aches and pains. "Here, let me." He dipped his fingers in and spread the thick cream across Snape's lower back. That region was mostly clear of scars, mostly and though Severus was tense, he didn't flinch.

"I like being in bed with you," he admitted. His cheeks coloured when he realised how it sounded. "Not just for sex, I mean. This is really good too."

“And I thought you would find stuff like this boring” he said relaxing his back as he felt the cream sooth his back and he gave a small smile to the feeling. James was always so gentle with him when it came to his back and all his aches and pains.

“You don’t miss your four poster bed in Griffindor town then when you are here on the weekends?” he asked looking at him. They had got into a bit of a ruteen where James would stay on Saturdays nights after him late night patrols and 1-2 days in the week of his choosing but most of the time it was on a Tuesday and Thursday so he only had to go about a day without seeing him.

"What good is a four poster when you're not sharing it with someone," James said, that same silly smirk on his face. "You know the new rumour among our classmates it's you're having triplets," he laughed. "They do come up with some shit. Last week I heard that you've been cheating on me with one of the teachers. And the week before that, the baby was part centaur." He shook his head.

He finished smoothing the numbing, soothing balm across Severus' back, then wiped off his hands and set the jar aside. "Better?" he asked, leaning up on his elbows, looking up at Severus.

“Much better, thank you” he said with a relaxed smile. “I wonder if all these rumours are being started by Malfoy, if they are he is a lot smarter than I first thought he was and if the school thinks I’m having triples they are really dumb” he said as he stretched before letting out a breath.

“And there is nothing wrong with your bed in griffindor, half the time I don’t sleep anywhere near you so I don’t know how you know the difference if I’m there or not” he shook him head, although he knew what James meant on the nights he wasn’t there his bed always did feel more lonely and somehow a little colder as well.

James tilted his head slightly to regard him, still smiling slightly. "I can feel you there alright, don't worry," he said, giving the bump a final kiss before rolling onto his side, head resting on his arm. He was a hairsbreadth from Snape's body and could feel the heat of his skin. His own flesh prickled with want but he did not move. He'd kept to his promise to wait until Snape asked for his touch. It hadn't happened yet, but he supposed after everything, a little waiting wasn't much to ask.

“You really do like this bump don’t you?” he asked looking at James and seeing the smile on his face every time he touched it knowing he already loved it to pieces and probably wouldn’t let it out of his sight for a second once it was born.

"Believe it or not I'm also quite fond of you," James said playfully. He reached out and petted the swelling belly. "This is amazing. Why wouldn't I like it?" He beamed a final time before hopping off the bed and approaching the table. "Lessons end on Wednesday for the Christmas holidays. I'm taking the train back to Kings Cross then Mum and Dad are picking me up from there. You're coming with me aren't you?"

As he sat at the table, two huge stacks of pancakes appeared - the house elves were getting the knack of just knowing exactly what Severus was craving at any one time.  
“I still don’t know” he said as he threw his legs over the side of the bed and put a shirt on, the thought of James seeing his back still haunted him as he made his way across the room and stopped just short of the table. “I mean. I know you really want me to meet your parents, but I have never been very trusting in adults and new environments.”

He said looking down at the floor and also his bump that was in the way a bit. 

"My parents are quite laidback. They'll love you, don't worry," James said reassuringly. "I've told them I might bring a friend and that he's quite err....shy, so they won't be too pushy." He pushed the maple syrup towards Snape's pile of pancakes, knowing it was his favourite. "I warn you, when she finds out you're pregnant, my mum might gush and flap around. They always wanted more after me, you see. But mum couldn't have anymore. She loves babies." 

When Severus eventually took his seat, James lowered his gaze and prodded at his own pancakes. "Errr...I feel like I have to tell you, it sometimes makes people uncomfortable but... Well you see, my parents are quite a bit older than most parents. Mum used to get so upset when people called her my gran at the school gates when I was little." He winced at the memory. "Anyway, I just thought you should know. They didn't have me 'til quite late."

It never bothered him, but he knew it made some people awkward. The kids at primary school had always found it hard to understand.

“Lily already told me” he said looking at James “She told me that your parents where a bit older than most and that they had you late in life. But I don’t really care when they had you, they are still your parents even if they had you at the age of 100. So don’t worry about what I think and if you ask me its nicer to have older parents than really young ones” he said pouring the syrup onto his pancakes and licking his lips.

He game James a small smile to show he wasn’t lying to him before taking a bite of his pancakes.

James blinked, wondering how Severus had known exactly what to say. He took another mouthful of his own pancakes. "I didn't realise Evans would remember them - they met her at the station this year, when they saw us standing together. Head Boy and Head Girl and all. Makes sense she'd tell you, what other information about me did she feed you?" he asked, trying to remember if Evans had known anything embarrassing about him that he might want Severus not to know.

“Well…she told me about your parents. How you’ve tried on at least 8 attempts to get to the girls dorms over the years. Oh and I think my favourite one was when she found you passed out on the couch in your common room in just your boxers and holding an orange, I would love to know the story behind that one” he said with a giggle at just the image.

“And the only other things she has really told me are that you look at me like sexy on legs and that you are completely smitten with me” he said eating more of his pancakes  
James choked on a mouthful of pancakes, coughing hard. He thumped his own chest to dislodge the piece and when he could breathe again, he shovelled another piece in, anything to avoid Severus' eyes. "The orange was a dare from Sirius - we were all drunk and he dared me to steal an orange from the kitchens wearing only my pants. But by the time I got back it was late and they'd locked me out of the dormitory so I fell asleep on the settee. Everyone thought that was bloody hilarious," he muttered, spooning another dollop of syrup over his breakfast.

"And as for the latter, I always said Evans was the observant kind." It took a moment for what he'd said to register on Snape's face.  
“I see…story wasn’t as fun as I thought it was” he said with a smile. “And really 8 tries, I thought after the first 7 you would have stopped trying to get up there but I guess you aren’t as smart as you look after all” he giggled eating his last pan cake.

“Wow those were really good, I feel like I haven’t eaten pancakes in forever and the house elves really know how to make good ones there always so fluffy” he smiled before standing and moving over to his trunk pulling out his brush as he undid his hair.

Snape looked at his brush for a moment before looking at James and wondering if he should ask him to brush his hair for him. But he quickly pushed the thought away and started to brush out the knots in his hair, some with great difficulty. “Ow! One of these days I’m going to cut all my hair off” he cursed quietly to himself. 

"I'm nothing if not persistent," James mused, finishing off his own meal and turning to frown at Severus' final words. "Don't cut it off, I like it the way it is," he said, reaching for the brush. "Let me do it for you, you're being all bad-tempered and hormonal." He guided him back to the chair and began to run the brush slowly through Severus' hair, getting the tangles out of the bottom section first before trying to run it through root to tip. 

When it was done, he set the brush aside, waiting quietly for some clue as to what Severus wanted him to do.

“I’m not being bad-tempered and hormonal” he said sitting the chair and looking at the wall before finally turning to look at James. “If…If I agree to go with you over Christmas…can I flew back to hogwarts if it gets to be to much for me?” he asked looking at James wondering if the answer he gave him would satisfy him.

“If you don’t agree to it I wont go” he said wanting to make his decision quiet clear.

James blinked at Severus a few times before his words truly registered. His face split into a grin. "Of course you can!" he said hastily, bliss buzzing through him as he contemplated, for the first time that Severus might actually be going with him to his parents' house for Christmas. He beamed. "Any time it gets too much I'll bring you straight back. Of course, that's fine."

It was more than he ever dared to hope for. "Mum and Dad will be thrilled. They have been dying to see you since I mentioned you might be coming."

Snape looked at James with a raised brow. “So you told them I was coming before I even gave you an answer…I see” he said gritting his teeth feeling angered by this news as he turned away from James,

“Nice to see you were waiting for me to have a say in this.”

James frowned. "If you remember, I told you before - I mentioned that I might have a friend stay. Remember? Just in case." He turned away when Snape flushed a little - evidently he had forgotten. James cleared his throat awkwardly. "I never dreamed you'd say yes... I was just hoping."

“Yeah well…there is still time. I might end up changing my mind and might just stay here over the holidays and send you off with a picture like I said before” he said coming to a stand. But really the though of all this is really just turning my stomach.

He said feeling embarrassed to admit such a thing. “I’m not used to being in…loving family homes. Like I’m sure yours is.”

"I hope you don't change your mind," James said softly. He wanted to say that Severus could be part of that loving family home one day, if he wanted, but he had a feeling it wouldn't be the comforting thought he hoped it to be. Instead he gripped Severus' shoulder firmly and moved across the room to don his socks and shoes.

“What’s this? You planning on taking me somewhere Potter?” he asked looking at him as he put his shoes on. “Or are you just taking me to the hospital wing for check ups” he said not remembering if he actually had an appointment, being pregnant had made his rather forgetful in the last few weeks.

James smiled boyishly up at him as he finished tying his laces. "I was hoping I could convince you to go out to the lake and do some homework with me. It's a really sunny day outside - it'd be nice." He sat back on the bed to watch Severus' face carefully. He knew the slytherin would have a hard time being seen with him but he, James wanted it - a lot for some reason. He wanted everyone to know Severus was his. He wanted Severus to have the normal experience of doing something ordinary like homework with his...well, he wasn't exactly his boyfriend but close enough.

Severus needed to see it was normal. Not something that needed to be hidden.

"Come sit with me out there, please."

Snape glanced out of the nearby window for a while and thought about James’ offer, he did have homework that he needed to get finished but the thought of being outside where everyone could see him and James actually together made him feel rather uneasy and he wondered if any of James friends might turn up.

Finally he turned to James again and gave the smallest of nods. “Okay, I will go outside with you, I could use some fresh air anyway.”

James' face lit up like Christmas and he leapt to his feet so fast he made Severus jump. "Sorry," he said breathlessly, pulling on his cloak and handing Severus his, opening the door simultaneously. He wanted to get out there before Severus could change his mind. Snatching up both their bags, he loitered in the doorway until Snape headed towards him.

The slytherin was quiet all the way down to the lakeside. The ground was thick with snow but that was nothing with a few warming charms around them both. The sun was bright and oddly warm, it was a beautiful Sunday morning in fact. Although James was very aware of his companion's unease. He spelled the snow off the bench near the waterfront and made sure it was dry before he spread their Potions homework out on it.

Severus glanced around every now and then, unsettled that people were watching them. The school knew something was going on between them, though he and James had not yet confirmed what. Smiling in that boyishly reassuring way, James tucked his quill behind his ear and waited for Severus to look back at him. The sight of his silly expression must've helped, because he swore he saw the beginnings of a smile at the corners of that mouth.

"We're doing something perfectly normal," he assured him, "they're only gawping because we're the juicy news. You know. They were going on about Sirius shagging that Ravenclaw for weeks until the next big thing came along. It's just playground gossip. Don't worry about it." He looked around and caught a group of third year girls watching. They giggled when he noticed them. "And those kind of girls just get fluttery over anything remotely 'romantic' - bunch of fan girls."

Snape glanced over that the girls as they giggled amongst themselves and kept looking at him and James and he pulled his eyes away from them trying to focus on his homework and ignore everyone and everything that was around him. The fan girls seemed harmless enough, it was the guys he was more worried about especially the slytherin’s if any of them happened to be walking by.

“I feel uneasy being out here” he said taking another glance around. His mind was telling his that Malfoy could be out watching him and planning something, ready to hit him with a hex or god only knew what but having James near somehow made him feel a little safer as he turned and answered a few questions on his homework.

"You're safe with me," James said wistfully, pulling his quill from behind his ear and tearing his gaze from Severus at last to begin his own homework. When he saw the slytherin look at him dubiously out of the corner of his eye, he jabbed his quill in the direction to the right. "See that slight shimmer around us? It's barely visible - only if you squint but it's there. It's a protection charm. No hexes or curses can go off inside it." He lifted his chin to meet Severus' eyes proudly. "Dumbledore taught me it."

Shape looked around him feeling amazed before looking at James. “Did…did you learn this for me?” he asked looking into James’ eyes. “Or…did you learn it just to keep the baby safe?” he asked wanting to know the answer.

Of course James wanted to keep the baby safe but he wanted to no if he was doing it for the baby or for both of them. 

James' eyes glistened, his expression warm but his usual boyish smirk was absent at that moment. "Both of you," he said huskily, intensely. He watched Severus' adam's apple dip as he swallowed hard. After watching him for some time, he dipped his head again, turning the Potions' text book between them so that Severus could see it better.

"I really don't understand why this theory is incorrect, I know it is - Merrythorpe told us often enough, but I can't see why it won't work." He scowled at the words, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Help me?"

Snape gave a nod. “Alright, but you would think after all these years your knowledge of potions would be a bit better” he said with a smile before quickly getting rid of it before James saw it.

He looked at the book and skimmed over the question and what potion it was before pointing to places in the good and explaining the ingredients and why they were good or bad for a potion wanting James to understand rather just tell him the answer. “So do you get it now?” He asked looking at James and realizing how close they had gotten while they were looking at the book.

James understood perfectly now. He also understood that in eyes that he had once thought entirely black, there were also flecks of opalescent grey and deep, deep bronze. They were so close that he could feel the whisper of Severus' breath against his cheek and when the boy turned, they were so close it made his mind hazy. 

"Let me kiss you?" he whispered, pleaded, his brown eyes dancing down Severus' face to rest on his slightly parted lips.

“Wha…but…but were outside” he said starting to look around again as he bit his bottom lip not sure if he even wanted to kiss James or not especially in a play where everyone could see them.

His eyes looked to James and he could see the want in his eyes, he could see how much he wanted to kiss him. “I…I don’t know.”

"What does it matter if they see?" James breathed, "it's just a kiss - I've seen fifth years do worse in the halls." His eyes glittered with desire, amusement and bliss all at once. "It's sort of naughty in a fun way," he chuckled, "normal. Nice. Let me, please."

His tongue moistened his lips in anticipation, the action causing the other boy to shudder. James could taste his breath on his tongue, still sweet from the pancakes. They hadn't even kissed for so long. He was a good kisser wasn't he? Didn't Severus want to kiss him?

Snape looked at James for a long time as he watched him lick his lips and he wondered if it would be a good idea. Would James try something else if he were just to kiss him? It had been so long since the boat house he almost wouldn’t put it past him.

Taking a deep breath he turned to James and left a very quick kiss in his lips before he pulled away again. “There happy now?” he asked not even looking at him his cheeks turning pink from the small action.

James blinked, momentarily stunned and awed at the same time. Before long, that same easy, boyish smirk appeared on his lips. "Very," he said happily, turning back to his homework. 

"Morning boys!" A familiar, cheery voice rang through their ears. They both looked up to see Lily Evans making her way through the snow towards them, Remus close behind her. The red-head cleared the ground of snow and damp around the bench, sitting cross-legged on the now clear, warm grass. Remus took a seat beside her, his face soft and thoughtful as ever. He'd been with Lily a lot recently, James noted, it made the fact that the girl had absolutely no sense of boundaries with Severus a little easier to take. 

"You two hard at work I see?" Lily observed brightly, leaning forward to pat Severus' belly in greeting as she always did lately. "How's bump?" she asked.

“Oh doing just fine, it got pancakes today and is breaking my back already” he said with a smile at said ‘damn thing’ but Lily seemed happy enough as he touched his belly. “Also Potter has decided that it’s a girl so get ready to laugh if it turns out to be a boy instead” he said with a wicked grin just wanting to see James proved wrong.

“That would be rather nice though, having a little girl running around” Remus put in with a smile imagining his friend running after a little black haired girl refusing to go to bed and he giggled.  
"You'd have an adorable little girl," Lily said thoughtfully, "I could buy her pretty dresses and impart all the feminine knowledge she'd miss from you two."

"We'd have a cute boy too - I just have a feeling it's a girl," James said distractedly, going back to his homework but still participating in the conversation.

"I meant to say, Severus," Remus began, "it means a lot that you would consent to me being the godfather, despite my...unfortunate condition," he said tactfully.

“Its fine, it was James decision to pick the godfather and I didn’t mind as long as you were know where near it on a full moon” he said looking at Remus. He had started getting used to seeing and having the werewolf around and he wasn’t so bad, as long as it wasn’t close to a full moon anyway.

“Besides in a lot of was I don’t think I could have picked anyone better for the position. Also I wont be around for the raising of this baby I’m still just going to sign it over to Potter when its born I haven’t budged on that” he said turning to look at one of his books again.

"Of course," Remus said placidly and pulled out his own book from his bag, beginning to read.   
"Once you see how gorgeous she is, Severus you won't be able to give her up for so much as a cuddle with someone else," Lily said, patting his belly a final time before sitting back a bit and reading over Remus' shoulder.

James, wanting to move away from the subject of Severus giving up the baby, glanced sideways at the two on the ground. "You two are very cosy lately," he murmured, "something you want to tell us?"  
Remus looked up from his book as he observed James before looking at Lily. “Oh no there is nothing going on between up” he said with a smile. “It’s just with Snape in his own room and you visiting him every other night me and Lily just ended up sitting in longue talking and we’ve become rather good friends” he said giving a smile to Lily.

“But not only that being the god parents we had things to think out as well. You are not going to be keeping us away from that baby so easily” he said giving a smile.

"Something tells me I'm not going to see my daughter much between you two and my parents," James snorted. He scribbled away at some more of his essay before looking at the others once more. "How do you think we should break the news to my parents? I mean, they know I may bring a friend over for Christmas, I haven't told them I'm even er..." He paused. They weren't exactly a couple but they were more than friends surely?

"Seeing anyone," he decided on at last. "You three are more intellectually inclined - how should we go about it? Just announce it over tea and a slice of my mum's renowned Calorie-Consuming Victoria Sponge?"

“Well somehow I think it would be pretty noticeable that I’m pregnant don’t you?” he asked looking at James “Unless your parents just think I’m fat but have managed to maintain a tiny figure.”

“Snape has a very good point there James, the baby is starting to show especially on Snape’s frame. I think it will be out in the open before you even get to sit down for cake” Remus said looking from Snape’s baby belly to James.

James shrugged. "I didn't think of that."

"What a total shock," Lily muttered.

James scowled. "Mum and Dad will be thrilled - embarrassingly so, I reckon. I'm just...nervous I s'pose." He looked up at Severus' face and saw that he too was trying to hide his anxiety at the thought. "My parents are the most laid back people, don't worry. They didn't even bat an eye when I blew up the garden shed."

“You say that now but you also said they would be flapping around me excitedly. At this point I don’t know what to think of your parents, they are either going to look at me or attack me” he said watching James and hoping that his parents wouldn’t just run at him and start touching him. It had taken him a while just to trust James to do it, but having two complete strangers doing it made him shudder.

"I told them you were shy, they won't just run at you like two mad things, they do have a sense of personal space," James reassured him. "And Mum's cake really is to die for."  
"Mr Snape!"

All four students looked up at McGonagall's call to see the Deputy Headmistress striding towards them. She looked pale, worried about something. When she finally reached them, she dithered most uncharacteristically with pursed lips. "I am truly sorry to disturb your Sunday morning, Mr Snape however..." Her usually stern face was soft with concern. "This is difficult... Please, would you come with me to the Headmaster's office? The Ministry they...they require you to sign and confirm your statement as to what happened over the summer with your father. For legal reasons regarding the Wizengamot and..." It was unlike her to be so lost for words, but when she finally did, they all understood why. "Your Father is there too. Please...bring someone for support if necessary, I understand how...difficult this will be for you. But once this document is signed it will be all over - for good."

Snape seem to recoil at the thought that his father was here at Hogwards the place he saw as his safe haven and he had never known a muggle to be allowed into Hogwarts. What would he do to him when he saw he was pregnant? Hundreds of questions ran through his mind as he shook and started scratching his arm and almost seemed to be rocking on the bench he was sitting on.

“I don’t want to see him…I don’t want to see him” he said as an almost chant as he looked at the ground not looking at anyone. “He’s going to hit…he’s going to hit me with his belt for this…he’s going to no I had sex with a man…that I’m pregnant…what should I do?” he said in a state of panic rocking and scratching wildly at his arm and starting to wonder if the last few hours he had been awake were good or not. 

James glowered up at the Deputy Headmistress. "Is this really necessary? The Wizengamot know what that bastard did, why should Severus have to see him even one more time?" James snapped, leaping to his feet and positioning himself slightly between McGonagal and Severus. If Severus didn't want to go, there was no way anyone was going to make him.

"It is the protocol the Wizengamot need followed in these cases," McGonagall said, her voice tart but her face betraying that she obviously agreed with James. "I am sorry, Severus," she said softly, "It's difficult as magic was used in a muggle crime. We need your signature and his signed in unison in a controlled environment in the presence of muggle and magical authorities to sign this over effectively. He will not be allowed to touch you - there are Ministry officials there ready to take him away. If you sign these papers he will be put away for a very long time. You will never have to see him again."

Lily looked just as affronted as James, Remus stood quietly beside her but James whirled around to look at Severus, his every muscle tense. "You don't have to go if you don't want to," he promised him. "I won't let them make you." Lowering himself down onto his haunches, he put his hand on Snape's arm, the same one he was trying to scratch through his robes. "But if you want to go, I'll come with you?"

Snape raised his head and looked at James, he looked like he would break down and start crying at any moment. “…stay with me” he said in a very small voice as he looked at James. The thought of being in a room with his father scared him to death and he reached out and held onto the sleeve of James’ robes like a small child.

“I think it would be best if you go with him James. In this state he is likely to have a panic attack if you’re not with him” Remus said as he placed a hand on his shoulder and looked at Snape seeing the fear in his eyes as well as being able to smell it with his heightened senses. 

Lily’s face was hard with concern and anger, she gave James a stiff nod but otherwise did not move as James urged Severus slowly to his feet. “I won’t let you go, alright?” James promised, letting Severus hold onto his sleeve as they began to move. He hesitated, unsure of what Severus wanted before shrugging the hand off his sleeve so that he could knot their fingers together. Severus’ grip tightened around his hand. He did not let go.

“I won’t let him touch you,” James swore. Anger so ferocious he swore it was going to make his blood literally boil rushed through him. How dare Severus’ father reduce him to this nervous, fearful persona? His Severus, who was always so calm and collected, so strong. How dare he? He was grinding his teeth as they made their way back up to the castle. “He’ll have to go through me,” he swore darkly. 

Snape remained quiet as he held onto James’ hand tightly. He didn’t want to see his father the very thought of being near him had his stomach turning wildly and he felt his skin sweat and turn pale as he stopped near the entrance to the castle.

“…I feel sick” he said taking deep breaths as he looked at the castle entrance and what laid beyond it as he fell to his kneels shaking as his stomach turned over and he did his best not to throw up. 

“I don’t see why he has to sit in a room with that prick,” James snarled, lowering himself down to Severus’ level and seizing both hands now so that the young man could not scratch at his arm. 

“Neither do I,” McGonagall returned, watching Severus with sympathetic, sad eyes. “It has something to do with the fact that it is a mixed magical/muggle crime. Tobias Snape is a muggle and abused Severus by muggle means, but this summer, when Severus finally exploded – literally, that made things much more complicated. It’s Ministry protocol in these situations, I do not understand it myself.”

“You should wipe the bastard’s memory and pack him off to a tiny cell in the middle of nowhere,” James sneered, “He doesn’t even deserve to breathe the same air as his son.” He grit his teeth, guiding Severus slowly to his feet. He had to be strong for his…whatever Severus was to him. If he could help Severus through this perhaps it would lay some demons to rest and he could finally move on knowing he’d never have to see his father again.

“Where’s his mother?” James asked, “I know she took little interest and she probably fears Tobias Snape more than even Severus, after the abuse she suffered. But she should give a statement surely?”

“She did. She has, but her presence and testament is not necessary for this final aspect,” McGonagall said, before her face hardened. “In any case, I have met Eileen Prince – she would not come.”

James said no more of that, the mention of the woman’s name seemed to only upset Severus more and so he focussed solely on getting the man back to his feet. Once he did he gripped Severus’ shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “You can do this, alright? You’re the smartest wizard I’ve ever known, the bravest, you can do this and then you can walk away from him like he doesn’t matter. Because he doesn’t, Severus, not after today. He’ll never touch you again.”

Snape looked at James searching his eyes for any sign that he was lying, he still felt the panic deep in his stomach as he gave James the smallest of nods before allowing James to lead him though the corridors as students stared and whispered and catching a few words about his father.

The walk to Dumbledore’s office somehow felt longer to Snape than it had in the past as he gripped onto James cloak seeing the stone gargoyle ahead of them. McGonagall came to a stop in front of it giving the password before ascending the stairs up to Dumbledore’s office with Snape and James following slowly behind here with Snape taking deep breathes.

He turned to James seeing some of that Griffindor confidents they where know for as he climbed up the staring before stopping in front of the door. “…I’m scared” he said as he looked at the oak door that lead into Dumbledore’s office and knowing that his worst nightmare laid behind it and he hid behind James a bit trying to hid himself and his pregnant belly.

James took his hand again, tighter than before. It was an example of how afraid Severus was that he didn't care that a few students were walking past and could clearly see them holding hands. James inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself. "You have to be in the same room but I won't let him come within ten feet of you," he swore, turning his head to find Severus staring at him. He held that gaze so that the slytherin would know he spoke the truth.

"Five minutes, then it'll be all over - then never again. Right?" He glanced to McGonagall, who gave him a tight nod.

"Once this is all signed, he will be passed over to muggle authorities and have his memory wiped of all memories of his wife and son - just as Severus requested. He will spend the next few decades in one of their prisons for attempted murder and abuse but will be listed as having trauma from the event. He won't need to remember." She looked directly at Severus now. "You will never have to fear him again."

With that, the gargoyle guarding the stairs swivelled up out of sight, showing the stairs clearly in sight. McGonagall went first and then James, still holding Severus' hand guided him up the stairs. "Don't let me go, you'll be fine, I promise," James murmured, just as they followed McGonagall in through the door.

There was a small crowd here. Dumbledore stood behind his desk, two Ministry drones stood either side of the desk and two muggle policeman stood either side of a man in a chair, his hands handcuffed together in front of him. The door closed behind them and James felt Severus freeze at the sight of the sneer on his father (the man in the handcuff's) face.   
Immediately, James tensed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHOOPS! Almost forgot to give you your new page today. BUT! It is still 10:45pm here in the UK so it is still Saturday to me and there for I'm still on time lol  
> Now time to get away from that cliff hanger I left you on and enjoy a new chapter, this one has lots of drama so ENJOY!!!

Chapter Six

“Well, well. If it isn’t my freak of a son” he sneered seeing Snape half hidden behind James for protection and half not wanting to be seen by his father. “And look it’s a miracle you actually managed to make a friend who isn’t ginger, well done” he said and Snape felt he would have clapped sarcastically if he wasn’t handcuffed.

Snape kept his eyes lowered and in place before he felt himself be slowly led over towards Dumbledore’s desk. Snape felt himself shake as he got closer and closer to his father before he shot up for his chair and made Snape jump and cower in fear thinking he might suddenly be hit. 

“What the fuck is that?!” he roared pointing at Snape’s stomach. “I knew you were a freak my boy but now it turns out you are a giant faggot too! Did I teach you nothing!” he yelled.

“No I’m not! It’s not like that at all you no nothing!!” Snape yelled back at him and instantly regretted it seeing rage fill his fathers face.

“How dare you talk back to me!!” he bellowed before he seemed to move straight past the muggle police heading right for Snape and pulling his arms back looking like he was going to hit Snape full force in the stomach.

The next few seconds were so unexpected that no one had time to react. James, who had been standing to Severus' side, slightly in front of him hurtled forwards to intercept Tobias Snape as Severus fell back. Before anyone could stop him, he slammed his fist, hard into the man's jaw with a resounding crack that had the man flying back into his chair. He looked up at an enraged James, dazed as James stood before him, physically shaking with rage.

James shook his fist. It throbbed but the satisfaction of agony in the man's face outweighed the minor ache. When the man dared allow his unworthy eyes to flicker to Severus' frozen form, James surged again, before anyone could stop him and smack the man again, so hard his head snapped to the side. 

"Don't you dare look at him like that," James said darkly. "Don't you look at him at all. Don't speak to him." The muggles stepped forward, closer to James - obviously to try and stop him if he lashed out again. Oh, they'll try, James thought. They may even succeed, but not before I make him regret whatever he might say.

"If I'd known what revolting things 'magic' was capable of, I'd have snuffed out that pathetic creature's life before he even left his mother's womb," Tobias Snape sneered, his head slowly returning back to look up at James. He couldn't see Severus around James' imposing figure, he was too close, too tall in his vision.

"They're going to lock me up for exacting my right as a parent to show my 'son' right from wrong-"

"You are a disgusting excuse for a human being," McGonagall said from somewhere behind James, from beside Severus. "People like you shouldn't be allowed to have children."

Tobias Snape sneered. "Look at him," he said, gesturing with his chin in Severus' direction. "He was never a child, he's not even a man now. He's a disgusting little freak. An abomination I'm sorry to say ever came from any seed of mine."

James growled warningly through clenched teeth and drew his wand. The muggle policeman flew back but the Ministry drones shot forward to take their place.

"Mr Potter," Dumbledore said gently, "please, be careful. Your action here may harm your future more than his. This is to be a peaceful conclusion-"

"If you hoped it to be peaceful, you should've bound his tongue as well as his hands," James snapped distastefully. His wand was aimed at Tobias' mouth. "Or better yet cut it off completely." His wand tip then pointed further down. "Then make him unable to father any other children in the rest of his wretched life. I'd happily take whatever punishment came my way to make him suffer."

Suddenly, familiar long fingers curled around his wand arm. Without turning his face away from Snape Senior, James glanced to the side to see a wide-eyed, ashen-faced Severus standing there.

Snape looked at James his hands shaking on James’ arm as he slowly shook his head at him. “Don’t do it…it’s not worth it” he said quietly as he looked into James’ eyes not wanting to see him get into trouble.

“Just leave him” he said before looking to Dumbledore’s desk and seeing the paper work he had to sign on it. “If I sign the papers he goes away forever…remember” he said as he held onto James’ arm tighter.

“I will never be gone boy…I will always be right here” he said as he let out a wicked laugh. He knew he has left a permanent scar on Snape, not just physically but mentally as well and the thought seemed to satisfy him.

James shoved his wand into Snape's hand and forced him to take hold of it before he did something he would...not necessarily forget, but perhaps end up separating him from Severus when the slytherin needed him most. Those last words however, they made magic prickle forebodingly at his senses. He stared straight into Tobias Snape's eyes and spat in his face. 

Still glaring at the man, he said, "Severus, sign the papers so they can wipe this scum's memory and send him off somewhere his 'faggot' backside will be raped till it's too used to close up again - and for something he won't even remember."

At least that caused Snape Senior's eyes to widen in fear. James sneered in satisfaction and never tore his eyes from the man. He heard Snape signing, the telltale scrape of a quill on parchment...

"Your son is having my child," James said firmly. "It'll be hard but he'll be happy, whatever happens and you'll be nothing more than a bad dream. Nothing." Finally, he looked to the desk and to where Severus was finishing signing off the paperwork - signing his statement and his permission that his father be detained with his memory erased in a muggle institution.

"Ready?" he asked, his voice shaking with the effort to remain calm.

“Yes…I’m ready” he said turning to James and walking away from the desk and as far away from his father. But he found his eyes taking one last quick glace back at his father and he caught his eyes.

“That freak child will kill you, you know and I really hope you both die. Scum” he said as he watched Snape and he lowered his head and turned it away as he took James’ hand wanting his to stay at his side as they made there way towards the door to leave.

"We'll just see who lives and who dies," James said, voice full of dark promise, before he accompanied Severus out the door. He let the slytherin lead him down the stairs, through the hall but before they got much further, James stopped, the motion so sudden that it caused Severus to jerk on his arm and stumble back. There James wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in his neck.

"You're alright now," he whispered, voice shaking and husky with emotion and rage. "You'll never have to see him again. You'll get past this. You'll be alright now."

Snape felt a tear roll down his cheek but he quickly wiped it away, he would let James see many things but him crying was not going to be one of them. “I…I made my arm bleed” he said almost apologetic as he held it up and the sleeve of his robes slide down to his elbow.

“I’m sorry…having him there was too much for me” he said pulling James’ wand out of his pocket. He would admit that he had almost also wet himself when he saw his father go flying towards him, the whole situation had just been terrifying for Snape.

"It was too much for me too," he muttered. "I wanted... Merlin, Severus I wanted to murder him - with my bare hands!" He grit his teeth, his hand sliding down to stroke Severus' belly reassuringly, before taking his wand and healing the other boy's arm effortlessly. He let Severus go so that he could face him.

"You were really brave. You held it together." He stared into Severus' dark eyes for a moment before adding, "I'm...I'm proud of you. Dumbledore was too and McGonagall..."

Snape gave a smile as he looked at James. “Thank you” he said before leaning up slightly and placing a very small kiss on James’ lips feeling very glad and happy that he had offered to go with him. If he hadn’t he would probably be in the hospital wing with people trying to save his life from being punched in the stomach.

“I want to go back to my room now…I feel tired from all this” he said with a small sigh as the panic was very slowly starting to drain from him leaving him tired.

James nodded. His fingers lingered on the soft swell of the boy's belly and he smiled slightly, reassuringly. "Want me to come with you? Or do you want to be alone?" he asked. Truth be told, he didn't want to leave but he would respect whatever Severus wanted. The slytherin had just faced probably the biggest demons of his past. Had just had a weight lifted - would never have to see that bastard again. He may wish to be alone to process it.

"Maybe I can err...run you a bath in the Prefect's bathroom? I've got access, being Head Boy and all."

“Please don’t leave me alone…I don’t want to be alone right now” he said looking at James, the thought of being alone while his father was still in the castle made him panic and he knew he would jump at ever noise he heard if left alone in his room.

“And I…I wouldn’t mind a bath. But…do you think I could use mine?” he asked looking at James as his fingers played with his robes just wanting something to touch.

James nodded slowly. Hesitantly, he reached forward and slid his fingers into Severus' effectively stopping him from fraying his sleeves and drawing his eyes to him once more. After they stared at one another for some time, James murmured, "Come on."

A short while later found James leaning over the roll-top bath, swirling the water round with his arm to check the temperature. He'd put some of the oil Pomfrey had recommended for calming and sore limbs and it foamed up like bubbles across the surface of the warm water. Not too hot. Turning, he stopped the faucets and stopped as he saw that Severus stood behind him. Apparently the slytherin hadn't wanted to be alone even while he ran the bath - not that James minded.

Smiling again reassuringly, James stepped to the side so Severus could approach the bath. "It's ready, err.... Did you want me to stay?" he asked. He wanted to. He never wanted to leave Severus alone, but today that feeling stemmed from different reasons. "I can sort of..." He looked around and in the end decided to take a seat on the closed toilet.

Snape looked at the bath before walking the few short steps to James and holding on lightly to the top of his sleeve as he looked down at the floor. “Will you…will you come in with me?” he asked in a small voice.

Right now James was his rock and the thought of having him even a few centimetres away put him on edge and he hoped that James would join him and wouldn’t try anything funny with him.

James swallowed. The thought of getting into that generous sized tub with Severus was... He flushed slightly, but steeled his will against his hormones and nodded - for the right reasons. "You want to get in first?" he asked. He definitely didn't mind seeing Severus naked - he'd seen it all before after all, but Severus was funny about things like that. Especially his back. Especially now. He thought then, perhaps it would be best if he made the step first, so it would make the slytherin feel less vulnerable?

"I'll go first," he said then, shrugging off his casual robe and shirt. He toed off his shoes and socks as he undid his trousers. He'd stopped wearing a belt since he'd seen Severus' memories...

Naked at last and quite unashamed, perfectly comfortable in his own skin around the slythern by now (they slept in only their boxers together often enough) he slid into the suds and leaned back against the side, legs parted and drawn up slightly so that the tops of his knees were above water level. It was quite deep, so besides that, only his shoulders up were visible. It would make Severus feel more at ease, he hoped.

"Want me to close my eyes?" he asked playfully and saw the briefest flicker of a smile on Severus' face.

“Maybe, if you wouldn’t mind” he said feeling a little shy and vulnerable even though James had seen him naked on at least 2 occasions. James did as he was told and he started to slip out of his clothes and throwing them next to James’ before approaching the bath.

He stopped as he looked down at James and the warm suds in the bath before slowly stepping into and feeling the calming bubbles start to work there magic on him before he sat down and shifted in the water a bit before leaning himself back and resting the back of his head on James’ chest using him a sort of pillow.

James wanted to groan in comfort, sigh contentedly at the intimacy of skin on skin, but he didn't want to make Severus even more awkward and so he slowly lathered his hands up with soap and spread them over Severus' chest, shoulders and arms. He was quiet, they both were but it was a companionable silence. James rested his head on Severus' shoulder, breathing in his scent as he finished washing the aforementioned body parts and his hands slid down to caress the soft swell of his belly. They rested there for a while beneath the water.

Severus was naked with him. He had his back, that he never let anyone see or touch, pressed up against his chest. His own cock arched slightly in interest and he flushed darkly. "Sorry," he muttered. "Can't help it. Not going to do anything though so don't worry. Just relax."

Snape gave a small nod not really focusing on much as he just looked down at the warm water and James’ hands on his belly. He gave a small smile feeling safe and relaxed after what had unfolded not that long ago as he leaned against James.

“I trust you” he said in a light voice as his eyes seemed to shut, he felt like he hadn’t slept in days, Snape put it down to the stress fading and the warm water but he soon found himself nodding off as he leaned against James not caring that his back was touching him, after today he trusted James completely with everything even his back.

James felt something in his chest that before now, swell inside, right up into his throat. Not knowing what else to say to Severus' meaningful words, he turned his head into that neck and closed his eyes, his lips skimming the skin silently. For the longest time they sat there in silence, the warm water lapping soothingly at them both.

"I'll do whatever it takes to make you both happy," he said, one hand remaining on Severus' belly and the other sliding up to rest over the man's chest. "Whatever it takes."

Snape never heard James’ loving words, in the time it had taken for James to speak Snape had fallen asleep. The stress from the day had left him and he had simple fallen asleep to the gentle sound of James’ heart beating close to his ear and the gentle touches of his belly.

James lay there with Severus for a while, until he saw the skin on Severus' fingertips start to prune. Summoning his wand awkwardly with one hand, he cast a feather-light charm on the sleeping slytherin, Not that I probably need it, he thought. It hadn't gone unnoticed how slender Severus was, even at 3 months pregnant. No, but a lightening charm would mean he would be less likely to jostle and disturb him.

Setting his wand on the sink beside the bath, James slid out of the bath, scooping Severus up simultaneously, so he had no chance to be jerked awake by the sensation of sliding into the water. James' cheeks flushed as he pulled Severus close to his chest, determinedly looking ahead instead of on the very naked slytherin in his arms, pressed trustingly against him.

Severus' head lolled gently on his shoulder. James rested his chin atop it. Severus trusted him as he had never trusted anyone - he would not abuse that trust. Walking back into the bedroom, he laid Severus out on the bed, doubling back for his wand so he could spell both himself, Severus and the bed dry. The young man on the bed shivered slightly at the sensation of the drying charm, but otherwise did not stir.

James stood there for some time just watching him sleep, until the December chill made him remember he was still naked. He awoke the fire in the hearth and pulled on his boxers from earlier, before tucking Severus up in the duvet. Laying on top of the duvet, so the temptation that was Severus' bare skin was not touching his own, he wrapped his arms around the sleeping man. Closing his eyes, he relished in the feel of him turning into his warmth.

***

It was snowing heavily outside across the vast countryside that flew by. James sat with his forehead resting against the softly rattling train window as he rubbed Severus' feet thoughtfully through his socks. They'd decided to walk to Hogsmeade to catch the Hogwarts Express back to King's Cross, where his parents would meet them. But the walk had left his companion aching and considerably grumpy until James had torn off his shoes and pulled his feet into his lap for a rub.

Now the slytherin was silent, had been for some time - too silent and James tore his eyes from the landscape rolling by to look into Severus' eyes. "You alright?" he asked gently. They'd been practically inseparable the last couple of weeks, ever since the incident with Tobias Snape. James liked that - a lot.

Sirius didn't and still hadn't come round to the idea of him and Severus, but James had (for once) not catered to his pouting. Sirius would just have to get over this when he was ready because if James could help it, Severus wasn't going anywhere. He had a feeling that the look on Severus' face had nothing to do with Sirius though and everything to do with where they were headed - his parents' house.

"They'll love you," he said, his cheery voice piercing the silence. "Don't worry about it. Please."

“I’m trying not to worry about it. But it’s hard” he said looking out the window at the falling snow and hating the thought of having to walk through it again at some point when they got off the train.

“Your dad…he’s not a back patter is he?” he asked looking at James. “In the muggle world when guy meet each other they pat each other on the back. Your dad doesn’t do anything like that does he?” he asked feeling his nerves get the better of him and wondering if he should be making the trip after all if he was this jumpy just being on a train.

“Sorry I guess I’m just being weird” he said lowering his eyes a bit.

James pressed his thumb joint into the arch of Severus' foot and was rewarded with a quiet, relieved-pained groan. "Good?" he asked, Severus just looked at him, which James took for a yes. He smiled warmly and continued to rub more softly. "Dad is friendly but not in an invasive way - he's more conscious of being overbearing, doesn't like to smother. Mum, she's quite cuddly - always jokes that she wanted a daughter to hug her more but I've told her you're...shy. She knows to behave herself with you."

“I…I don’t mind if she wants to hug me. I have no problem with women it’s just…guys I have issues with and I don’t want her patting or rubbing my back in the hug” he said watching James as he twitched his toes.

Snape looked at James for a few moments before speaking again. “Do you…do you really think your parents will like me. I mean, I’m a Slytherin and I’m not exactly the best looking one in the whole dungeon." 

James clucked his tongue in annoyance. "Don't disparage yourself like that. There's nothing wrong with you. And my Dad is probably the least threatening man you'll ever meet, don't worry." He stopped his rubbing, but kept Severus' feet in his lap, his hands still around them, caressing them thoughtfully. "They don't judge and even if they did..." He looked straight into Severus' face. "The only person that things those awful things about you are yourself and the people that don't matter. People like Malfoy and...Him." Him meaning Tobias Snape. His teeth clenched at the memory but he did not mention the man anymore clearly in Severus' presence.

Snape gave a small nod before looking out the window, “Its snowing so heavily out there, I wonder if it will delay are journey to the station?” he said watching what he could see of the snowy landscape pass by as he drew his feet back and rested them on James’ kneels.

“I wonder what a real family is like?” he quietly asked himself but he had a feeling that James had herd him as he kept him focus out the window and his socked toes pawed at James’ knees at the thought of finding out soon. The thought of walking into a family home and not expecting to get beaten was foreign to him.

After a long silence where he watched Severus' reflection in the window, James said, "They’re flawed just like you and me but they mean well. They do everything in their power to make you happy, even when you might behave badly. They love you even when you're wrong and they offer you advice when you're lost. You're everything to them and they'd rather die than hurt you." 

Severus' eyes met his in the window, catching him watching. James smiled. "That's what a real family is like and it can be yours too, if you want." He looked directly at Severus again and releasing the man's feet he gestured to the seat beside him, wanting to sit next to him but unwilling to push. Even though they'd crossed so many personal boundaries together since that first night in the boys toilets, he was aware that Severus was still recovering from a life of abuse.

Sometimes abuse at your hand, his mind supplied uncharitably. 

But he wanted to offer Severus some more comfort than massaging his feet. He wanted him to feel safe, as he suspected the Slytherin did whenever they were close.

Snape turned his head to looked at the seat next to James as he gestured to it for him to sit there, he wondered about the offer for a minute before climbing off his chair and moving to his in the seat next to James.

“I’m still not sure about all this you know” he said looking at him and down at his expanding belly as he gave it a small poke not really knowing the reason why he did it but something in his mind said ‘go on give it a poke’ and he gave a tiny smile after doing it that vanished quickly. 

James reached out and laid his hand across Severus' swollen belly, his splayed fingers touching Severus' as he did so. The man tensed but did not recoil, for which James was pleased. He smiled. "You will be when you're there and settled," he promised. His lips parted to say more but as he did so the door to their compartment slid open and Lily, Remus, Sirius and Peter all slid in. Lily and Remus took up the rest of their seat while Sirius and Peter sat opposite James. 

James sat up straighter and tensed but did not remove his hand from Severus'. His eyes hardened as he looked at his best friend. "Decided to stop being a prat?" he demanded. Sirius frowned and turned his gaze out of the window. Peter said nothing of course and just looked at everywhere but at Severus.

Remus spoke for them all. "Sirius is going to be on his best behaviour, he's promised," he said.

On the opposite side of Severus, Lily patted his arm in silent support.

Sirius was the one outnumbered here, not Severus.

“So, how is my little god daughter doing? Is she looking forward to hearing her grandparents voices?” she asked will a smile talking to Snape’s belly.

“Oh Lily don’t you start as well, there is still no proof that Potter is right he could be completely wrong about it” he said looking at her but seeing the excitement in her eyes he couldn’t help but sigh seeing she had made up her mind about the baby.

Lily gave a smile as she gave his belly a small rub away from his and James’ hands “and how is ‘mommy’ excited? Nervous?” she asked looking up at Snape as he shook his head looking positively sick at the idea of what was happening even if James kept telling him everything would be alright and there was nothing to worry about.

"If Mr and Mrs Potter accept me, a werewolf into their home, they can have no quarrel with you, Severus," Remus assured him gently. He smiled at the slytherin before looking to Sirius. The dark-haired man wasn't looking at anyone but at least he wasn't being nasty, James thought. But then, since Remus and Sirius had got a flat together when they were sixteen, Remus always seemed to be able to get Sirius to shut up - sheer amount of time spent together, he supposed and was grateful. He didn't want to have to fight with Padfoot, but he would, if he tried to ruin what little confidence Severus had gained in him. 

"Oh!" Lily declared suddenly, making them all jump with the sound as she delved into her satchel, bringing out two perfectly wrapped red sparkling parcels. Complete with ribbons. "For you two," she said brightly, passing them to Severus and James. "Do not open 'til Christmas." She winked.

James flushed a little but took the present nonetheless. Clearing his throat, he gestured to Remus. "Doesn't Moony get one?"

It was Remus and Lily's turn to flush then. Remus fidgeted awkwardly. "Hmm, yes. Well...Lily is actually coming to visit Christmas Eve so..."

Oh. It was like that then. James smirked.

“Lily, you should have said you were getting us something then I could have bought you a present” he said giving her a smile. It was true Snape didn’t have much money but he still would have like to have got her something to say thank you for her kindness.

Snape quickly raised a brow in the trail of his thought as he looked at Lily and Remus. “Did I actually hear right, you are going to Lily’s for christmas eve?” he asked looking at Remus before turning to Lily “I would be careful of your sister Lily you know what she is like if she finds out about him” he said knowing how Petunia Evens felt about anything magical.

Lily straightened her shoulders, lifting her chin defiantly. "Petunia can rot for all I care - she's off with some ponce from the school near our house anyway. Vernon or something." She made a face. "Disgusting pig he is. Mum and Dad don't care much for his manners..."

Putting the presents in his trunk which sat in the rack above their heads, James retook his seat besides Severus. "Will you see Regulus at Christmas, Padfoot?" he asked Sirius warily. He knew that they had grown more distant since Regulus took up with Voldemort and his lot. But they had always been close before - it was a hard time, James knew. Especially as Mrs Black was... Well, a troll - to be polite.

“No, I don’t think I will be seeing him” he said still looking out the window with his chin resting on his hand. “He has change since he got involved with…that lot” he said glaring at Snape’s reflection in the glass window and Snape turned his head away seeing the action.

“Besides mum says he hasn’t been home in months so I doubt I will see even a hair of my brother over Christmas” he said giving a small sigh as she thought of spending Christmas with his shrieking mother and there old moody house elf who didn’t like him one bit.

James leant forward in his seat a little, trying to catch Sirius' eyes. "You're not going to your mum's for Christmas surely? I thought that was the whole point of moving out with Remus? Never having to see her again?"

He was concerned for his friend, but also for Severus. He hadn't reacted at all to the mention of his connection to the Death Eaters. Since Lucius' betrayal, he hadn't mentioned either the Death Eaters or Voldemort and had not been anywhere near either. He'd never gotten the Dark Mark, which meant he wasn't tied to anything, but still, he wondered if Severus had been in contact with any of them at all. Voldemort was notorious for disliking people saying no to him.

“Well with Remus off with Lily and my mum screeching down my ear I don’t really have a choice do I” he said finally turning his head to look at James and just managing to keep Snape out of his eye line.

“And anyway it might be nice to see what changes mum has made to the since I’m been gone like what she has don’t to my room. She might have giving it to Creature to do the ironing in” he said with a small snort of a laugh knowing that statement would most probably be true.

James smiled a little at the return of his friend's bravado. He seemed almost normal. He patted Sirius' shoulder before leaning back into his seat beside Severus. It was hard for Sirius to understand, he knew, but he was making the effort at least. If they could all just make it back to Kings Cross without killing each other, there would be hope yet.

"Bertie Bott Every Flavour Bean?" Lily piped up, opening a particularly large box and offering it around the carriage.

***

It was late afternoon when they arrived in London and the world was dim with winter's early darkness. Lights illuminated the platform as they pulled up. James said goodbye to Sirius, Peter, Remus and Lily in the compartment, letting them all go to fetch their luggage. But also allowing him to make sure Severus was alright before they stopped off the train. 

He couldn't see his parents from their window as the train pulled to a stop, but he knew they were there somewhere among the waiting families - closer to the platform exit, no doubt.

"Alright?" he asked, pulling his trunk, which they'd shoved all they both needed into for simplicity's sake. Everything could be shrunk, after all, and there was no sense in lugging about two trunks when they didn't have to. They were only here for a week and a half, after all - then it would be back to school.

“I feel kind of sick but I think it’s just nerves” he said rubbing at his belly a bit before moving to put his shoes back on again from where James had been rubbing his feet. “Do you think I look alright?” he asked looking at his clothes a bit as he slid his shoes on.

Finally getting his shoes on he looked at James as he stood and tried his best to straighten his robes so as to not look like a complete mess and trying to hid his bump at the same time not knowing if James wanted it to be a surprise for his parents or not and lucky he had heard black was sliming so his parents wouldn’t know looking at him from the front. 

"Perfect," James beamed, rolling the trunk out of the compartment, holding the door open for Severus with one arm. He lead the way down the narrow aisle to the nearest door. "Don't!" He snapped when Severus bent to take the bottom of the case so he could help him off the train with it. "It's heavy - the baby," he reminded at Severus' scowl, which made him flush sheepishly. Why did his skin burn pleasantly at the sight of such an intense look on Severus' face. He swallowed and lugged the trunk off the train himself, waiting for Severus to hop off too.

Leading Severus away from the train, he looking around for his parents. His full smile turned nervous as he caught sight of them and waved to catch their attention. He knew they'd love Severus, they loved everyone, but he was worried about how Severus would feel about them. He was a difficult person to get close to, after all.

A tall, stocky man with untidy silver hair walked towards them, his arm loosely wrapped around his wife's shoulders. She was shorter, about Severus' height with long hair swept up into a long white plait down her back. They both looked to be about sixty and their warm, wrinkled faces lit up as they reached them. Both threw their arms around James unrestrainedly. When they pulled back, the woman, Mrs Potter touched James' face lovingly, her eyes sparkling with a vitality that defied her years.

They said nothing, they didn't need to it was all over their faces. Embarrassingly so, infact. James extracted himself from his mother and stood back so that they could see the young man behind him. As promised, they did not approach him, only smiled warmly. "Mum, Dad, this is Severus."

“H-hello Mr and Mrs Potter” he said nervously as he looked at them and stood behind James a bit still feeling a little worried that they might try to hug him or something and seeing them look at him with such kind eyes was defiantly something new to Snape.

“It’s very nice to meet you both” he said giving the pair a small smile. He didn’t realize how close he was standing to James until his bump touched James’ back lightly.

James felt his nerves increase at the reminder of his child in Severus' belly. On Severus' slight frame the bump was obvious, though his parents said nothing, tactfully. He would wait until they were home to break that news to them. They would be thrilled, he knew that but shocked too and he didn't think King's Cross was the place for such news. 

"Did you bring a portkey?" he asked. His words called his father's gaze back to him. The man nodded, still smiling and drew a handkerchief from the pocket of his robes. 

"Right'o James. Everyone get close now," Mr Potter said, fleshing out the hanky so there was more surface area for them to grab. James instinctively wrapped his arm around Severus' back as he felt a familiar tug behind his navel.

Once they were settled in his parents' bright, comfy lounge, James felt much less nervous. Severus was sat on the squashy settee with him, while his father sat in the armchair across from them, his mother setting down a big slice of sponge cake in front of them all, along with a cup of tea.

"Dinner won't be for a few hours, have some cake," she said brightly. James grinned when he saw that Severus' slice was bigger than his. That was a good sign.

Snape’s head and eyes quickly darted around the room. He had never seen a living room so clean and well kept before, everything in the room seemed to shine brilliantly and Snape found himself tensing a bit scared of making some sort of mess and ruining it.

As he looked around he thought of his own home and the shabby unkempt condition it was in remembering the stains on the carpet and pealing wall paper. “…You have a lovely home” he said looking at the pair across from him and thought about picking up his tea but thought better of it in case he spilled any not wanting to get in trouble for ruining there nice clean rug.

Mrs Potter perched on the arm of her husband's armchair and smiled warmly at Severus. "Thank you, dear," she said and when she noticed he hadn't touched his cake prompted, "go on, eat up dear. The carpet self-cleans."

James was already half way through his own slice and was taking a sip of his tea. "Did you set the camp bed up in my room for Severus?" he said.

Mr Potter snorted. "Don't be silly, son. It's been a while since you brought a friend over - we've gone all out. The spare room across from yours is all ready for Severus to sleep in."

James smiled grimly, hiding the insincerity of his expression in another bite of cake. His parents thought they were being nice but in reality, they were thwarting his plans. He and Severus shared a bed, physically at least often now. It would be difficult to sleep in separate rooms...

"Severus," Mrs Potter began, "James tells us you've been helping him study for his Potions NEWT. He says you're the best the school has seen in decades." Her round face was so honest and kind, it stopped Severus mid-chew.

“Um…yes I have been. I like doing potions so I don’t mind helping him with it he said shyly as he tucked a piece hair behind his ear just to have it fall forward again seconds later.

“I mean, I don’t know everything but I’ll do my best and Potter….I mean…James” he said hesitating on the name, it had been the first time he had used his first name since the boat house but he guess being in a house of Potter’s he had no choice. “He is a very fast learner so…” he said trailing off finding it hard to keep a conversation going at his stomach turned over on its self.

Snape put his cake back on the table having only eaten a few mouthfuls as he fidgeted in his seat next to James.

"Oh, not got a sweet tooth, dear?" Mrs Potter chimed, noticing his remaining cake. "James loves sweets. But I made some sausage rolls - perhaps you prefer a savoury-"

"Let the man breathe, Abbie," Mr Potter said affectionately, patting her knee. 

James could not help but notice that they were both politely avoiding the fact that Severus was clearly pregnant and wondered when the best time would be to make the announcement. He looked to Severus, but got no clue from his anxious expression. Perhaps things would be easier if they got the most difficult part out of the way?

Setting his tea down (his cake long gone) James reached across and set his hand on Snape's arm - a silent gesture of reassurance and warning that the time was now.

"Mum, Dad, Severus and I..." His cheeks flushed. Sucking in a deep breath, he just decided to blurt it out. There was no easy way to say it. "We sort of...were involved and Severus is pregnant. With my child."

Snape lowered his head a bit so as not to look at the pair. He might not have seen them but he defiantly heard them especially Mrs Potter who let out an excited sound and Snape feared she might run over and hug him or touch his belly but she seemed to be keeping her distance for now which Snape was glad about.

He raised his head after a few moments to see there old eyes beaming at him as if he was the must important thing in the room at the moment and it made Snape feel uneasy. The only time people had looked at him was if someone had stuck a ‘kick me’ sign on his back, this look was different though and he wondered if he should say anything.

The word ‘surprise’ came to mind but he chose not to voice it as he shifted in his seat again and his robes moved slightly revealing his belly.

"Oh...my...James..." Mrs Potter gasped, her eyes wide but shining. She was smiling but anxious, wringing her hands slightly she got to her feet and sat beside her son on the settee, the opposite side to Severus so as not to crowd him. "It's so...well you're both so young - you're not even out of school yet but I..." She bit her lip. James knew what she was thinking but didn't want to say.

She felt she was being selfish because she was so happy, because she had always feared she'd never live to see her grandchildren. Wizards lived a long time after all but if James had taken as long as Mr and Mrs Potter to have children.

He smiled, patting her hands gently. "Mum, it's alright. It's a shock, we were both shocked and we didn't plan it...."

Across the room he saw his dad frown in confusion. They all knew that it required a potion to get a man pregnant, but they didn't question his words. James wouldn't go into that, not unless Severus felt like volunteering the information.

"It'll be alright, we're doing alright," James said warmly. His mother nodded, still smiling and excited and anxious all at once. She blinked at Severus, reaching out slowly, wanting his hand but waiting for him to take hers of his own volition.

Snape looked at the extended hand and wondering what Mrs Potter wanted. He looked after as if she was asking him to hand her a drink but there wasn’t anything behind Snape but a small table with a lamp on it.

Looking at the hand again he guessed she must be reaching out for him hand and it took him a few moments before he would reach off a slight shaky hand and taking hers feeling how soft her skin was as he touched her and how thin looking his fingers were.

She grasped his hand tightly as he touched her, her thumb massaging the back of his hand affectionately. "Oh, yes," she gasped, her eyes shining. "A shock, yes, a shock but... Oh, boys - such a happy one." She blinked wet eyes at Severus. "Alen and I had trouble conceiving - you know. Only the best potions in the world got us James and I...I was so afraid that he would..." She bit at her bottom lip and grasped Severus' hand with both of hers now. "Precious boy, thank you. Thank you so much."

At long last, Mr Potter got to his feet. He too took the opposite way around the coffee table, so that he did not tower over Severus. His steps were hampered slightly by the stiffness of age. He was tall and stocky, with the appearance of a man who'd been toned and strong in his youth like James. He clapped his son on the shoulder, squeezing it as his eyes shone.

"Welcome to the family, Severus," he said.

Snape lowered his eyes a bit not looking at the pair, how could he say to them that he wouldn’t be staying in the family only the baby would. It was true he had come to trust James over the months he had been around him but his mind still hadn’t hanged about giving him the baby and then getting away from him.

“Th-thank you” he said in a small raising his head a bit before his stomach turned over again and he looked at James. “Um…James, I don’t feel so good, where is your bathroom?” he asked in a hushed voice as he tried to keep the contense of his stomach at bay

Before James could reply, Mrs Potter was on her feet, tugging Severus gently with her by their still joined hands. "I'll show you dear," she said brightly. James tried to protest. "Now, come James, it's not often I get to play hostess," she said, releasing Severus' hand leading the way out of the room. 

The Potter home was fairly large but not ridiculously grand and echoing like a cavernous manor. They walked into a warm, large, brightly lit foyer and head passed the slightly sweeping staircase that lead up to a spacious landing. Everything was warm, honey-coloured wood and smelled like fresh baking - the cake Severus had eaten only a few mouthfuls of in fact. Mrs Potter lead him down to the end of the foyer, where a large curved archway lead into the kitchen - to the side of this door, just before the kitchen was a small wooden door, which she opened for him, then stepped back.

"This is the downstairs lavatory," she said warmly. "Each of the bedrooms upstairs have their own, of course, but this one saves guests having to go all the way upstairs." Everything in the bathroom was cream and gold, shining spotless but yet not ostentatious. It was just big enough, just small enough not to be pretentious. It was a home.

“Thank you Mrs Potter” he said kindly as he felt his face paling and he stepped inside. “I will only be a moment if you wanted to head back” he said giving her a small smile before shutting the door and forgetting to lock it in his hast to the toilet before quickly throwing up the cake he had eaten along with his teats from the train journey there.

Snape didn’t life this part about being pregnant, all the throwing up made him sweat and feel dizzy and it didn’t help that he was feeling nervous in the Potter house, he had know idea how he would survive a week of being there unless he stayed locked away in his room away from everyone.

With Severus still retching into the toilet bowl. James knocked on the bathroom door as he stepped in, closing it quietly behind him. "You alright?" he asked. He didn't like seeing Severus like this, pale and clammy, unsettled, even though he'd seen him suffering 'morning' sickness often in the last few months. Wetting a clean flannel in the sink, James approached him, kneeling beside him and laying the cool flannel at the back of Severus' neck.

The coolness helped, he'd discovered a few times before this and it gave him something to do to help.

“…Sorry…I haven’t made a good…first impression have I” he said as he breathed and heaved a few time before sitting back from the toilet bow thinking there couldn’t be anything left in his stomach as he looked at James and felt the cool flannel on his cheek.

“I hope I didn’t upset my mum” he said looking at James as he took a few more breathes before moving across the tiled floor to flush the toilet. “Cant have been very nice for to make that cake and then have me throw it up again” he said feeling a bit disappointed since the cake was very good and he was sure Mrs Potter must have put a lot of effort into in.

James beamed, dabbing Severus' forehead and neck to cool it, before dabbing at his mouth. When he was done, he tossed the soiled flannel over his head into the back. It vanished with a pop. "House elves," he said when Severus looked confused. "Or, elf, really. Anyway, don't worry about mum, she was pregnant too, you know, she understands." They'd both looked shocked but they had handled it well, just like he knew they would. The surprise didn't dampen their happiness any.

"You're doing fine," James said, before caressing Severus' belly gently. "Both of you?"

Snape sighed “I just feel so uneasy here, I don’t know how I will make it though the week” he said as he looked at James and he leaned back against the bathroom wall just watching him with half glazed eyes.

“Your parents seem really nice though, I can see how excited they are about this” he said giving James before looking down at his belly where James’ hand was resting quiet happily.

"You'll grow more comfortable, don't worry," James said. "And you have the baby as an excuse to go lie down on your own if they get too much." Getting to his feet, James offered a hand to help Severus up. "Think you can stomach some tea?" he asked when the other man was upright again.

“I think I can manage some tea, but I don’t think I will be eating much for dinner tonight” he said rubbing at his stomach at the thought of food and especially the thought of maybe seeing it a few hours later in his toilet.

Snape kept a hold of James’ hand after he stood feeling a little better about having him close and using him as some sort of safety blanket from his parents.

"It's ridiculous that even after so much development, the wizarding world still has no cure for morning sickness," James said as he opened the door and lead them both back into the lounge. 

Abigail Potter served them all beans on toast for dinner, in respect for Severus' delicate stomach. James thought it was quite funny that Severus seemed shocked that a pureblood family would eat something so ordinary. Conversation had been light and easy since the announcement. Mrs Potter was bubbly and excited, Mr Potter laughing and smiling quietly.

"So, will it be a Potions career after Hogwarts for you, Severus?" Mr Potter asked conversationally as they ate.

Snape’s fork stopped on the way to his mouth and he thought about the question. What was he going to do after hogwarts? His plan had originally been to join The Dark Lord as one of his followers and become part of him inner circle, but he hadn’t seen him since he had become pregnant and he half wondered how long it would be until he came looking for him.

Snape lowered his fork and looked a Mr Potter. “Well, I think that maybe it would be a nice idea. I have always had a fondness for potion making and I’m rather good at it even if I still have a lot to learn” he said giving him a small smile. “But I guess I haven’t really thought about what I will be doing after Hogwarts.” 

"The world needs bright minds like yours, my boy," Mr Potter said, pleased. "Especially Potions. It's a hard craft and the masters are few and far between nowadays." He grinned at his son then, "You'll be a good counter-point for my son, who thinks with his gut rather than his head."

"Oi," James snorted. "I got good OWLs." He shook his head. "Hopefully the baby will have his brain though, I can't deny he's better." He wanted to slide his hand under the table and pat Severus' knee, but he wasn't sure how he'd take the action. As it was, he reached across the table and stroked his knuckles against Severus elbow.

"She'll have my quidditch skills though," he mused.

Abigail Potter rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, heaven forbid she miss out on a key life skill," she chuckled. "You know, considering you were both schoolboy rivals for so many years, you're certainly very in tune with each other."

James shrugged. He and Severus had been together through a lot in the last few months, things that far outweighed a few years of petty rivalry. "We're grown-ups now. Besides, our tempraments match quite well. Evans says we're kindred spirits, or something like that." He frowned, wondering if those were her exact words, it was a muggle thing, so he wasn't sure if he'd got it right.

Snape rolled his eyes at bit at James’ words before hearing Mrs Potter clap her hands suddenly.

“You said she, does that mean we are getting a little granddaughter then? I didn’t know you were so far along my dear” she said looking at Snape who had got a bit ridged in his seat from her sudden clap and he looked at her. She really did love children and he thought he remembered James telling him once that she would have liked a little girl too and that was why James we so used to brushing peoples hair because he had done it for his mother when he was younger.

James flushed a little. "Errr, no, well...maybe. I think it's a girl. He's only 3 months along so there's no telling just yet. Even magic can't safely find the gender until-"

"Five months, yes, I remember," Mrs Potter said, her voice slightly far away as she evidently recalled the time she was pregnant. She smiled at Severus as she came back to herself. "Whatever it is, it will be a delight."

"I know you said that you've grown up, that you've come closer," Mr Potter began. "But why is it you never said you were seeing anyone?"

James felt his lips go dry. He looked at Severus out of the corner of his eye. He didn't know what Severus wanted to say about their situation to his parents, whether he wanted to say they were a couple or not.

“The truth is we aren’t seeing each other so he couldn’t really send any owl saying we were” he said looking at Mr Potter before glancing away with a blush realizing that he had just talked to him when they question wasn’t asked to him.

Snape moved his hands under the table not sure if he should speak again or not and didn’t notice his hand crawling up his arm to try and scratch though his long sleeve. “I –I mean…none of this was planned…and I still hated Potter for 2 months after this happened and…and” he said in a half panic as his eyes looked anywhere but at The Potter family. 

James reached out and touched Severus' arm, effectively stopping him from scratching. He saw Severus look surprised at the touch. Had he thought just because he'd told his parents the truth that he wouldn't care? He gave a small, reassuring smile.

"Oh," Mrs Potter said, regarding them thoughtfully. "I see. Well... Forgive me but you both just seem so...connected. We shouldn't have assumed, dear."

Snape glanced up at her but still kept his head down making him look like a scolded puppy. “N-no its alright…I shouldn’t have spoken out like that, sorry…and I do like him a bit now, he takes very good care of me and the baby” he said raising his head a bit with a small smile.

“And he makes sure no one a school bullies me and that I go to the hospital wing when I’m supposed to.”

Mr Potter frowned. "Don't apologise for telling the truth, son. We don't stand on ceremony in this house," he reassured him. Then he considered both boys carefully. "Well, this would explain the letter we received from James a few months ago outing himself as a self-proclaimed 'bully and brute' that was set on changing his ways. Honestly, James, it seems a lot less random now. You might've explained it a bit more. I suppose we understand now."

James winced, a blush riding his cheeks. "I...I just felt like a dick, alright?" He murmured into his dinner plate, poking the remaining beans around with his fork awkwardly. "I realised what I'd become and I didn't like it." He looked at his parents then at Severus. "I needed to talk to someone about it and you..." He fixed his eyes on his parents again. "You act like I'm perfect, like I can do no wrong and I just...I needed you to know everything - at least as much as I could tell you without invading Severus privacy."

“You can tell them whatever you want as long as you don’t go dragging my past into it” he said looking at James with stern eyes that said ‘if you breath a word about my father or my back I will kill you’ before he turned back to plate and ate a small bit of toast with some beans on it.

“He really has been doing well to change though Mr and Mrs Potter. The only time he bullies me now is when I don’t want to go somewhere” he said trying to hold back a laugh at a memory of James dragging him to the hospital wing. What normal took them 5 minutes took them and 25 as Snape clung onto wall and door as he was having a very moody day.

"We don't think you're perfect, James," Abigail Potter said softly. "We're not ignorant to your flaws, we just love you in spite of them - unwaveringly." She reached across the table and touched his hand gently. "You know that. And you too, Severus, don't be afraid of our judgement, we aren't that kind of people, really." She smiled at them both.

"Whatever you two are doing seems to be working," Alen Potter observed. He laughed when the two boys just stared at him, clearly shocked. "Am I shocked my seventeen year old son is going to be a dad to the baby of someone he's picked on for years? Of course I am, but it doesn't mean we're any less excited about having a grandchild." It was obvious where James' boyish smile came from, it was clear on the old man's face. "You're good together, you'll be good parents. Don't worry so much about what we or anyone else thinks. Just see where life takes you both."

James nodded, love for his parents swelling in his chest. He suddenly felt so tired and emotional. His fingers curled slightly around Severus' arm. He really wished they were sharing a room tonight, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to sleep without the company.

“Mr and Mrs Potter thank you for the meal, but I’m feeling rather tired from the long journey here if you don’t mind I think I would like to turn in for the night” he said giving the pair a smile before his widened a bit and he smacked his palm into his head.

“Oh no! I forgot to pack my potions from Madam Pomfrey there still under my bed at Hogwarts” he said the image of the small wicker basket under his bed clear in his mind before he looked at James wondering if maybe he had remembered to grab them for him. He knew Snape’s memory for anything pregnancy related was always easily forgotten like appointments and apparently remembering potions if he was going somewhere.

James smiled. "In the trunk. I packed them. I put the trunk in your room - just for simplicity." He got to his feet slowly, looking to his parents. "I'll turn in too mum, dad. I'm nackered. So I'll just show Severus up then turn in myself." He crossed the room, kissed his mother on the cheek and gave his dad a one-armed hug. "Thank you. Love you both," he said softly, before leading Severus towards the door. 

There were five bedrooms in the Potter household and it was the room across from his own that Severus would be sleeping in - much to his disappointment. Still he kept a smile on his face as he showed Severus around the comfortable room. It wasn't that different from his own, actually. It had a double four-poster bed the same as his, twin bedside tables, a large wardrobe, chest of drawers and a desk. It even had an en-suite the same side. It didn't have the soft grey furnishings though or the personal effects, like the photographs of his family and friends, the Quidditch Harpies' posters or the single stuffed owl he'd had since he was a baby.

Other than this, it was an exact replica of his own and so he felt himself hoping that Severus liked it. He turned to face the boy after he finished showing him the essentials and waited, patiently for his opinion.

Snape looked around the room, he was shocked by how bit it was. He had never seen a bedroom so bit before and he would be spending the night in it. “It’s really nice, but its very big” he said looking at James.

“I mean not that I’m complaining or anything its just I have never had a bedroom this big before even the one at Hogwarts is smaller than this” he said giving him a smile before moving over to the bed and touching the sheet feeling the silky fabric touch his finger tips.

"It's the same layout as mine," James said. "Just with a teal colour-scheme instead of grey and silver. I s'pose it is quite big for a guest room. Mum and Dad probably would've used it for one of my siblings, if I'd ever had any," he said wistfully. He stared thoughtfully at Severus, wondering if their child would fill the need he'd always had for siblings, for other children to play with. 

Oh dear, he definitely was mawkish tonight. 

"I'm just across the hall," he said at last. "So if you need anything, just come and get me alright?" He stared into the man's eyes as he turned. Merlin, how he wished he would just ask him to stay...

“Thank you…James” he said softly before heading over to the trunk and pulling out his potions which he enlarged again. “And thank you for remembering these for me too” he said giving him a smiled and watching him for a long moment.

“I…I guess I will see you in the morning then” he said looking at him before turning away and pulling out a big white shirt from the trunk as he planned to sleep in it.

James felt his stomach plummet but smiled thoughtfully all the same. He bent down in front of Severus and laid a gentle kiss on his slightly rounded belly. "Goodnight baby," he murmured, petting it gently before straightening up. His face was only a few inches above Severus' - so close it made them both flush at the intimacy of it. "Goodnight, Severus," he whispered, his eyes roving that pale face, lingering just a little on his mouth before leaving the room.

“Goodnight James” he said quietly before starting to get ready for bed. Slipping of his trousers, boxers and shirt and sliding the big white shirt on to sleep in before taking his potion and heading towards the bed.

Snape looked at his bed as he pulled the sheets away and looked up to a calendar on the wall reading that it was Thursday, James normal spend the night and it felt rather strange not seeing him waiting for him in bed. But he quickly shook the thought away and climbed into bed shutting the lights off with his want.

“It’s fine, everything is fine” he told himself before shutting his eyes but he found it impossible to sleep every sound made him jump from the Potter going off to bed as well to the small ‘crack’ sounds he heard which he guessed were the house elf. When Snape did manage to finally fall into a light sleep his dreams were quickly filled with images of James kissing and touch his skin and his eyes jolted open.

“What was that?” he asked himself before looking down, there is was as clear as day. His erection and he blushed as he looked around the room. “I…I guess it could hurt this one time” he told himself as he quietly got off his bed and made his way across his room and opened the door quietly looking up and down the fall to make sure know was around before moving to James’ door and opening it silently. James had fallen asleep but he didn’t think he would be able to go back to his own room now as he made his way towards James’ bed.

James stretched in bed, unsure what had woken him. He opened his eyes, blinking in the darkness. The moonlight peeping from between his curtains lit the room just enough so that when he turned, he could see someone standing by the side of his bed. He jumped and scrambled up in bed, heart pounding. Then, as sleep left him, he realised who it was.

"Severus?" he asked, voice husky from sleep. "Are you alright?" But that's when he noticed the tell-tale hard outline pressing against the over large shirt the boy wore. He flushed darkly, licking his dry lips. "Severus? he whispered again, his voice carrying a different tone this time.

Snape looked at James silently before climbing onto the bed and looking up at James from his feet, sitting there like some obedient puppy waiting for it’s master to pet it and play with him.

“James” he said in a small voice as he looked up at him and fidgeted on the bed as he looked at him, his erection showing know signs of going down anytime soon.

James groaned at the sight in the diminutive light and could not help himself. He surged forwards, sheets flying and exposing his naked body to the other boy but briefly before he was upon him. He smashed his lips against his mouth, groaning hungrily against him, savaging him with desperate, open-mouthed kisses. One hand cupped his neck, knotting in his hair while the other scooped his waist, tugging him against him so firmly that they tumbled back onto the mattress.

"Fuck, Severus," James breathed between frantic kisses. "Wanted you, so much...!" He didn't dare remove Severus' shirt without his permission, but he felt the other man's hips grinding against him as they kisses and could not help but push back. He rocked his hips forward, pressing his cock into Severus' and as they writhed the shirt rode up. He broke the kiss to gasp out as Severus' hot hardness slid directly against his own. Skin-to-skin.

Snape let out a moan as he felt there hot erections rub again each other and he bucked his hips moving against James more quickly as he took hold of his lips kissing his deeply and sliding his tongue into James’ mouth and feeling there tongues fight for dominance only to sit up after a few minutes to look down at James as he straddled his hips and panted deeply.

He quickly found himself removing his shirt as he looked as James leaving his boy completely exposed to him as the moonlight though the window touched his skin making to glow pearly white.

"Fuck you're gorgeous," James panted. His cock was so hard it hurt. His heart was thudding wildly in his chest. Severus had never been like this, meeting him thrust for thrust, giving every bit as good as he got. Fighting him back with his body, blatantly wanting it just as much as he did. 

Staring up at the man in wonder, James' hands slid up Severus' thighs slowly. They tensed either side of his hips but in anticipation, not in fear or negation. James' eyes roved his body greedily, still slender except for the slight roundness to his middle now. He caressed the belly gently, lovingly as he held those eyes. They were dark and shining with passion in the dimness. His hands slid up his sides, thumbs teasing those nipples until they hardened under his fingers.

"Took me ages to fall asleep without you," he admitted quietly.

“Me…too” he panted grinding against James and putting his chest out to his teasing hands before pulling back and crawling backwards on the bed a bit till he was half crouched between James’ thighs and he panted over his hard cock before caressing it with his hands and slight his cheek over it a bit.

“I…I want you…to take me…from behind” he said a little nervously but he was so excited that he did care. James had seen his back before and he trusted him more that anyone else and knew he wouldn’t do anything bad to him and his body craved attention so much.

James nearly convulsed right there. "Bloody hell, your voice," James groaned, his cock leaking pearly pre-emission onto his belly. It twitched eagerly as Severus watched it. He reached down, smoothing Severus' hair back from his face a little. He held that gaze as he breathed heavily, wanting to touch him everywhere, desperate to learn every inch of skin while it writhed in this new-found confidence.

Caressing the back of his neck tenderly, he smiled breathlessly. "Come up here then so I can make you ready for me," he murmured and when Severus didn't seem to understand, he tugged him gently up his body. "Kneel over my face," he whispered. The flush that deepened on those cheeks made him twitch again.

Snape blushed bright red but his cock gave a jerk liking the sound of the idea and leaking a small trail of pre-emission down his cock as he sat up and moved over James’ face like he had told his to, his face still bright red.

“L-like this?” he asked trying to glace back to see James but with know luck, but he did feel James hands on either side of his bum and he let out a small gasp. 

"Perfect," James purred, caressing Severus' skin as he gripped his cheeks, squeezing gently before spreading them. He grinned as saw that tight, flushed ring shudder. "Hold onto the headboard for me," he murmured, before easing Severus down that last inch so that he could circle the little entrance with his tongue. The sounds Severus made above him made him glad his room had a permanent silencing charm around it. He flicked the tip of his tongue against him, circling and circling with maddening patience, every now and then dipping into the hot centre.

“J-James” Snape let out in a breathy moan as he gripped at the head board and fearing he might actually break it he was gripping so hard. He could feel James’ tongue moving and dipping inside of him and his hips gave small jerks to the please as did his erection which grew more excited by the second.

“Oh Merlin! James…please…it feels too good!” he cried resting his head down on the headboard between his hands as his body gave a pleasurable shudder.

James groaned against his hole, devouring it hungrily, nuzzling his nose to that place just behind Severus' balls that made him squirm. Reaching for his wand on the side table, he used a quick, muttered spell to lubricate his fingers and slid one up into Severus alongside his tongue. He crooked his finger just inside and heard another cry above signalling he'd found that special place inside. "Silencing charms are up," he promised, "let me hear your voice." He punctuated his words by sliding another finger in, spreading him open for his tongue to delve deeper and massaging his prostate wickedly.

“AHH JAMES!!” he moaned out loudly as his body gave a shudder and he tried not to clamp his thighs together in case he crushed James’ head but the pleasure running up and down his body was to hard to ignore as his hips gave a buck to James’ roaming fingers and his tongue.

“Oh James…please…I can’t take it much longer” he panted heavily and let out moans. “James…James.”

"Hmmm, that's it, fuck yourself on my fingers," he panted, rewarded that carefree confidence by stretching him open a little further, fingering him hard as his mouth slid up to suck Severus deep into his throat. He looked up and saw that skin flushed and shining with a light sheen of sweat. His cheeks hollowed and his tongue danced across the tip as he sucked, tasting the sweet nectar there. His fingers were making an embarrassing wet sound in Severus' arse now, which was clenching around him, hungry for something more.

Coming off that delicious cock, he licked his own saliva off it as he stared up into Severus' eyes. "Do you want me in here?" he panted, caressing that special place inside. "How do you want me? How should I take you?"

Snape panted as he looked down into James’ warm lust filled eyes and he raised his arse off him. “L-like thing…I want you to take me like this” he said gripping at the headboard. “I want…I want you to take…from behind” he said blushing scarlet as his hips jerked onto James’ fingers from the excitement that was making his body hum and shudder.

“But please…be careful with my back” he said with half pleading eyes, he knew James would be careful but just saying it out loud made him feel somewhat better about it. “Now please…I want you” he said swaying his hips. 

James groaned, pressing his fingers in as deep as they would go and fingered him hard, mouthing his cock and balls until they glistened with his saliva. "You're so sexy," he breathed between sloppy passes of his tongue. "I'll give you whatever you want." That hole was shaking with spasms around three fingers now, slick and noisy. Severus was humping his hand and mouth alternately, flushed and panting as James had never seen him.

"I'll make you feel so good," he promised, pressing his tongue into the slit at the tip of his prick before sliding out from underneath him. He knelt behind Severus, pulling his hips back and up so that he was leaning on the headboard. He could see the tender, flushed little ring opening and closing, puckered and waiting for him.

Breathing slowly, he leant in and pressed his lips to the place between Severus' shoulder blades, his hands skimming down his sides, just around his scars - without touching them. "Do you want me inside you?"

“Yes” Snape breathed as he turned his head to look at James. “I wasn’t you inside of me” he said looking at James before leaning to kiss him deeply and moan lightly into the kiss.

“Please James” he said breaking the kiss and leaving a trail of spittle between them. “I want it so much.”

James nipped the side of his throat as he shifted forwards, sliding a hand down Severus' belly. With the other hand he slid the lubrication lingering on it over his cock as he guided it to the valley between Severus' cheeks. "You're so hot down here," he whispered, punctuating his words by licking his lover's ear. "You're twitching, you want me." He felt Severus' cheeks burning with a blush and that was probably the most arousing thing ever. He arched his hips a fraction and the sensitive tip of his erection pierced that trembling ring. He gave a low hiss of pleasure.

Snape let out a low moan and a hiss he body had become unused to the feeling of James inside of him even if it was only the tip. Snape breathed heavily as he spread his legs wider to give gave or access and more of a view as he tilted his hips.

“Please…I want to feel more of you…James” he panted as he turned his head to look back at James with passion and want burning in his obsidian eyes as he tried not to move his hips up against James.

James felt a single bead of sweat trickle down his forehead. The hand on Severus' belly splayed and stroked gently, comfortingly - protectively as he slid in with one long, slow thrust, until his hips were against those tight cheeks. As he felt his balls rest against Severus', he leant forwards and rested his forehead against Severus' neck, emitting a low, husky groan.

"Wanted you," he whispered, "for so long..." 

His hand slid down, caressing his lover's cock leisurely.

"Fuck, you're quivering around me."

Snape shuddered with low moans as he lowered his head letting his hair fall over his shoulders as he continued to hold onto the head board and his cock gave a jerk in James’ hand.

“James” he said in a panted breath moving one hand and placing it over the one James had on his stomach. “Please…take me…I feel so hot” he said as a bead of sweat travelled down his back and his hips shift causing him to let out a loud moan.

The hand not wrapped around Severus' cock slid up and cupped his neck, stroking gently, splaying across his collarbone as he kissed and nipped his shoulder blade. James rocked his hips back slowly, only drawing out a little before he slid back in. The movement was small but he was in deep and he just grazed his lover's prostate with the movement. He felt that slick heat clench around him. "Oh, fuck," he panted, nuzzling into his hair as he moved again, fractional but deep thrusts to allow Severus time to adjust to him.

Snape let out low moans with every slow thrust James took into him and his body shuddered with the pleasure and gripped at the beds headboard roughly as he tilted him his and moaned more loudly. “Ah…oh James!” he moaned as his muscles gave a small spasm causing James to moan about him.

“M-More…” he breath out and he pushed his hips back against James as he moaned taking him deeper.

James grit his teeth at the sheer, dizzying bliss that tore through him. Severus was pushing back into his shallow thrusts, wanting more, demanding more and he could nothing to resist. Gripping Severus by his shoulder, he rocked his hips against him harder, faster, hammering that place inside with unrelenting passion. He fisted Severus' cock in time with the dance of their hips, urging him back and forth into frantic rhythm. "Yes, fuck yourself on my cock. Fuck me, Severus."

Snape let out a loud swear as he rocked back against James with loud moaned of pleasure and one of his hands slipped from the headboard and gripped one of James’ pillows.

“Oh fuck…James…it feels so good” he moaned moving faster with James and hearing the could of the bodies smacking into each other, the sound was overwhelming and made his shudder in ecstasy. “Oh James…fuck me…you feel so good” he panted as he bit into his lower lip trying to stifle a moan. 

At those delicious, debauched words James braced one of his own hands on the headboard, using it as leverage to slam his cock hard and fast into that clenching heat. He rolled up at the end of each thrust, rocking just right into Severus to make him squirm and fuck him back just as hard. He couldn't verbalise how good it felt to have Severus take as much as he gave, to give back, push back into his body. He even felt the man's fingers reach back and claw at his own arse, urging him deeper, harder.

"So fucking gorgeous," he grunted, bowing his head and sucking hard at that throat. He could practically feel the skin bruising deliciously in a love bite, the blood rushing to just under the surface of the skin, deliciously sensitive to his kisses, the passes of his tongue. Severus rolled his neck to the side to allow him more access. James grip tightened on his cock and the headboard simultaneously. He shoved in, deeper, faster. His legs burned with the repetitive motion but he couldn't stop.

“Oh fuck yes!” Snape cried as he lost his grip and the beds headboard and he slid down it to have his head resting on James’ pillows his scent drifting up his nose as he moved against him with his arse in the air and his chest against the bed.

“AH FUCK! Ah James!” he moaned louder than before and felt very glad that James’ room had silencing charms on it as he moaned and slammed himself back against James’ hard cock feeling him go deeper and hit at his prostate.

“James! …James!” he cried out, he didn’t no home much more he could take, the heat in his belly was reaching boiling point and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold it all back for long.

James grinded into him a final time before drawing back, his cock leaving that body with a wet sound that made Severus gasp in equal pleasure and embarrassment. Breathing heavily, he grabbed a slender, pale thigh and rolled the other man onto his back, pushing both thighs up to his shoulders. "Hook them over my shoulders," he breathed, his hand smoothing over the little bulge of his belly framed between his legs. He was embarrassed at how much he liked it, like what it signified. Severus was literally filled with him.

Moving between those legs he felt then rest on his shoulders and dipped down, seizing that mouth with a kiss. He swalllowed the cry that escaped those lips as he shoved back in, relishing in the dirty, loud noises, the tight, juicy friction. "So good!" he gasped, his tongue flickering over Severus' teasing it into action. "Going to fill you up even more," he groaned. "Touch yourself. Tug on your cock while I fuck your arse."

Snape panted heavily as he looked into James’ eyes and reached his hand down taking a hold of his hard erection and pumping it furiously as he rocked with James and let out loud moans before leaning up and kissing James deeply as there tongues battled for dominance.

“Ah James…James I…I can’t hmm take much more, it’s too good!” he cried as he broke the kiss and tilted his hips making his baby belly stick out more.

"Hmmm, that's it touch yourself," James panted, hips rocking hard, back and forth, grinding deep inside as he felt his balls draw up tight, tingling and hot. "Jerk your cock for me while I fuck you. Hump your hand. I can feel you twitching around me. So tight...so good...!" He grit his teeth, bowing low over Severus' body so that the boy's legs were stretched back, still over his shoulders, his rapidly jerking hand rubbing against James' belly.

He felt the head of Severus' erection leaking into the trail of hair on his torso and he convulsed, slamming so deep inside they both slid up the bed a little. "Mmm, want to come. Tell me, tell me how you want me to come..."

“I want it! I want it so badly!” he cried out as he moved his hand even faster over his throbbing erection that screamed for release and leaked slightly as it coated him cock and lubricated it.

“Please James…make me cum!!” he cried as his free hand gripped the sheet beneath him as he panted and moaned all the while looking up into James’ eyes. 

"I want to come inside you," James panted, "I want to fill you up while your little hole milks me dry." He mouths Severus' lips as he rocks into him without pause, sweat beading across his skin as he hurtled towards his climax. "Mmmm, you're so tight, sucking me in so deep," he whispered against that open mouth.

“C-Come inside of me” he panted on James’ lips as his hips gave a small buck up to James and he moaned loudly as he moved his free hand over James’ shoulder and pulled him down closer touching his forehead to James’. “Come inside me…come inside me!”

Unable to resist that voice James groaned into that mouth and rolled his hips up a final time, his every tendon thrumming, as if about to tear as he shuddered and spent himself inside Severus' warm, tight heat. He was coming long and hard inside, ropes of creamy pleasure bursting in his lover's body. His hand stole down, rapidly jerking Severus' cock. He felt those slick walls tighten around him, signalling his end.

"Come for me, come for me while I spill myself in your juicy arse," he urged him. His wrist was cramping but he didn't stop. His voice was husky, his world spiralling up into crisp white oblivion as his orgasm neared its end. "Come for me."

“Ah James! James!” Snape cried out as he raised his hips to James’ hand feeling the world start to spin around out before what felt like an explosion ripped though his body and let out a loud pleasured yell as he came hard onto him belly and James’ hand with his hips raised as high as they would go before falling back panting heavily as everything span around him.

James came back to himself panting heavily, and rolled quickly onto his side, dragging Severus with him without disengaging their bodies so that he could hold him close without crushing the baby. He kissed Severus' hair lazily as he waited for his breathing to calm. He felt himself soften in Severus' arse and smiled as his lover squirmed at the sensation.

He reached over him, grabbing his wand and using it to banish the sticky mess between them before pulling Severus in tighter. He could feel his slightly rounded belly against him. A warm feeling bloomed in his belly. "Alright?" he murmured gently, only just realising that his hand was resting on Severus' back and the boy was still as limp and sated as ever.

Snape gave a small nod against James’ chest as he tried to control his breathing again not even noticing James’ hands on his back as he started to lift his head slightly to look at James.

“Sorry I woke you” he said sounding exhausted. They hadn’t had sex in 3 months and this time was a lot different from the last two times they had done it and a lot more comfortable as well feeling glad James had such a soft bed.

James smiled, nestling his head just above Severus, smiling at the feel of that warm breath on his skin. He closed his eyes and dragged the duvet up over them both, pulling it tight around the body pressed against his. "You can always wake me, whatever you need me for," he murmured tiredly, yawning wide. "I'm really glad you did."

They lay in silence for a long time. James caressed the nape of Severus' neck as he felt exhaustion taking him. He'd never cuddled like this after sex before. It filled him with a warm, soothing bliss that made all wrongs temporarily right in the world. "Severus?" he murmured. A mumbled, unintelligible grumble was his answer. He licked his lips. "I've....never been this close to someone before," he admitted quietly.

“That’s nice” he said sound very uninterested as he gave a yawn and pulled the covers up and around himself a bit more as he snuggled up closer to James enjoying his warms and not bothering to open his eyes.

“…Why are you telling me that?” he murmured trying to keep himself awake as long as James was talking and half thinking that he should go back to his own room and sleep there as the Potter’s had taken time to get it ready for him.

James' breathing stuttered for a moment. "No reason," he murmured. More words were on the tip of his tongue but they never left his lips. He felt the breathing of the man he was wrapped around deepen and he lay awake for some time listening to it. Blinking in the dimness, he slid a hand down between them and caressed Severus' stomach until he followed him into slumber.

***

When he awoke the next morning, he didn't move. As with every morning he woke wrapped around Severus, he was far too pleasantly warm and content. Here beneath the sheets he could forget about the rest of the world and hold onto the blissful quiet of dreams a little longer. He nestled closer into Severus. Some time in the night he had slid down and now his nose was pressing into the other man's neck. He inhaled deeply.

Snape took in a small breath as he stirred slight feeling something against his neck as he slowly opened his eyes to the dim room and he moved to stretch but felt very sore in his back end. In his half daze he wondered why before the previous night came flooding back.

“…oh that’s right” he said in a murmur before yawning and then nuzzling into James hair a bit. “Potter” he said into James hair, “Potter…I feel or sore” he said in a half windge and wanting to add the words ‘it all your fault’ but changed his mind. 

James stretched happily, squirming slightly and wrapping his arms tight around the man he was sprawled against, burying his nose just under his ear. "Mmmm, my legs are killing me, all that thrusting," he chuckled, voice husky from sleep. One hand slid down, caressing the baby in his customary 'good morning' way, before dipping down further, then back to massage his arse gently.

"Shall I kiss it better?" he breathed. "We've never done it in the morning before." He lifted his head to meet Severus' eyes, their mouths only a hairsbreadth apart. "I won't go in. I can use my mouth? You liked that..."

“No I don’t think so” he said looking at James with a raised brow the thought of doing anything so early in the morning just made him want to groan. He looked down at James for a while before shifting in the bed. “I should really be getting back to my own room anyway, your parents went though a lot of effort to do that room and it would be a waste if I didn’t actually use it” he said moving to get out of James’ hold just to have him hold on tighter to him not wanting him to leave his room obviously.

"Don't use Mum and Dad as an excuse, Severus," James said quietly, his voice tinged with melancholy. "They could care less. If you want to leave my room, if you're ashamed of what we did last night just come out and tell me." He sounded hurt, he couldn't help it. He felt hurt. He'd awoken and felt so warm and content and now...

He sat back slightly on his heels to regard the slytherin, the duvet falling off him so that the sun peeking in from the window bathed his gloriously naked body. "You're ashamed of me, or confused about what you want or both." He regarded Severus carefully. "What happened between last night and now to make you want to leave my company?"

“Nothing has changed” he said looking at with his usual blank eyes. “We have always been like this Potter and one night of insane …and very good. Sex has not changed that fact” he said lift a leg to cover himself a bit feeling James’ eyes on his naked body.

“So I don’t know why you are suddenly acting so offended by the way I am acting” he said turning his head and seeing a small picture frame on James’ bed side and seeing the moving picture of a young James being pushed by his parents on a swing set. Snape noticed that he looked very happy and couldn’t help but stare at the picture enjoying the scene that was playing out on it.

"Because last night was different," James murmured, his voice practically a whisper. His head was turned to the side, ashamed of the emotions betrayed on his face. He was staring at the opposite wall. He ran a hand through his mussed hair uncertainly. "You came to me last night, you met me thrust for thrust. You matched my every move. We were equal. You wanted me just as much as I wanted you and..." He grit his teeth. "Last night was different. I was hoping that this morning would be different too - not just with sex..." His voice trailed off. Severus wasn't stupid though, he didn't need it spelled any clearer than that.

“Nothing. Has. Changed.” He said in a stern voice as he leaned over the side of the bed to grab his shirt and slide to over his head. “I told you right from the start how things would go with us and this baby and I haven’t changed my mind on it” he said coming to sit on the edge of the bed. “It’s true that I have come to put a lot of trust in you…but I don’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing” he said looking down at the carpeted floor.

James head snapped back to look at him so quickly he felt a twinge of pain there. He watched Severus thoughtfully, thinking of the last few weeks, especially those following the altercation with Tobias Snape. They'd grown closer, even Severus couldn't deny that. Maybe Severus was using his body, using him to gain his own confidence, to accustom himself to human contact that he'd been denied before. James felt a deep, aching pain at the thought that that's all he was but then he looked to that softly swollen belly and knew there were more important things.

If they continued this way, perhaps by the time the baby came, Severus would be able to accept him or her more easily. Perhaps there would be a chance he would be there for her, even if he didn't want him - James. He chewed at the inside of his mouth. He wanted Severus, badly, in more ways than even he understood right now. But if the slytherin using him to learn what it was to be held close, to feel affection would improve the chances of him being there for their child...

I'll take what I can get, he thought. Blinking, he lowered his gaze and lay down again slowly. He pulled the duvet back up but held it open for Severus. "Come back to bed for a bit - it's early still. Mum and Dad won't be up for ages. They don't move out of their rooms 'til about 10."

Snape turned his head and looked at him and started to lie down before shooting up again “no, no I should go back to my own room” he said moving off the bed and shuffling quickly across the room before turning back again an going right over to James’ bed and grabbing the picture frame off the bed side table. “I’m borrowing this” he said before moving back towards the door, picture in hand.

James frowned. "What do you want it for?" he asked, unsure of what else to say after being so spectacularly rejected. He propped his head up on his arm, surveying Severus as the man dithered by the door.

Snape stood quietly in front of the door before speaking. “…I like the picture” he said in a small voice as he looked down at the picture in his hands. “…I like how happy the picture is…you look happy being pushed by your parents on the swing” he said looking down at the picture and feeling his eyes water a little and wishing he had had moments like this grown up and he hoped they child wound get the same happy smile as the child in the photo and being pushed on a swing by James.

Any bitterness or disappointment, hurt momentarily ebbed from James' mind. His face softened and he leant forward on the bed a little. "Everything is going to be alright, Severus," he promised. When the other man said nothing he got to his feet, striding across the room to grip Severus' forearm. It was the one he scratched at sometimes, although he hadn't been just then.

"Try not to be so determined not to be happy, not to be open to being a part of our child's life," he held his gaze thoughtfully. "Just take each day as it comes, yeah?"

Snape lowered his eyes and tried to blink the start of his tears back. “I told you…I’m no good for this child Potter…it’s better off with just you as a parent. You are so full of life and joy” he said looking up at James.

“I will try and take each day as it comes…but I will not see a future where this child inside of me is smiling up at me” he said looking down at the picture in his hands as young James smiled back at his parents.

James, perhaps overcome with the warring emotions duelling inside him, took Severus' face in his hands. "You can be too," he breathed. "I've seen it coming out in you more and more in the last few months." He paused for a moment, searching those eyes. He leant in then and kissed those lips gently, briefly, before drawing back. "In case you haven't noticed, you make me smile. We're good together and together we can be good for this baby - even if you don't want to be with me...you know, that way." When he saw Severus start to protest he gave him a boyish grin full of hope that it seemed to make the slytherin forget whatever he'd been about to say. "Just think about it," he said, before stepping away completely.

He looked down at himself then, only just remembering he was still completely naked. He flushed. "I'm going for a shower. Want to come with me?"

Snape wondered on the question for a moment before giving a very small nod and placing the picture on a shelf near the door. “Will…will you brush my hair for me after?” he asked looking at James. He thought about asked Mrs Potter but he didn’t feel brave enough to ask her if she would like to. “You don’t have to though if you don’t want to, I know you normally only do it if I’m having a moody day and threaten to cut it all off.”

James chuckled and nodded brightly, cheered by the request, steering them towards the en suite. 

Later, on the way down to a late breakfast (a tradition on Christmas Eve in the Potter house), James caught sight of their reflection in the long mirror on the landing. He blushed as he saw the bruising mark on Severus' throat that he'd caused with his own lips the night before. "Uhh, wait a sec," he said and tugged out his wand. "Your neck," he said, remembering how tetchy the slytherin got about people knowing intimate details about his life. "Let me heal it." When Severus frowned in confusion, he gestured to the mirror and his neck.

“Oh my god Potter!” he yelled quickly covering his neck with his hand as a deep blush covered his whole face. “You were about to let me walk down stairs with this” he said looking at it in the mirror again. It wasn’t seen a small bruise that he could just say was a mosquito bite as it took up a good amount of space on his neck.

“Heal it now” he said in a small half hearted growl to James as he watching his raise his wand to his neck again.

James blushed. "I forgot until I just saw it. And I stopped you didn't I?" he grumbled, murmuring a spell to heal the bruise. It was still slightly pinker than the rest of him, but only because James knew where to look. "I err...I wanted to go to Diagon Alley today, together. To get something for Mum and Dad and...you know...maybe the baby." He looked sheepishly at Severus from under his fringe. "Only if you want to though. After breakfast."

“I wouldn’t mind that, I would like to get some potion ingredients anyway” he said looking at James before looking at him belly. “What am I going to do about this? I don’t want everyone staring and whispering about me, I get enough of that at school” he said giving his belly a little nudge and knowing that his cloak wouldn’t be able to hid it as it didn’t the previous day.

“And how can you get something for the baby when you don’t know what you are having” he said looking up at James and guess he would probably say he would by things like teddies or a music box that sun lullaby’s when it heard crying.

"Not every essential for babies need to carry pink or blue crups," he mused. "It'll be nice just to find a few pieces. Just to get out really. And if you really don't want people to see your stomach, we can easily remedy that with a few glamours?"

“Yes I would like that” he said looking at James before turning away and starting to head for the stairs again. “Its not very nice feeling everyone staring and pointing and known of then speak very quietly that’s why I didn’t go into hogsmeed all those weekends” he said a little grumpy at the memory. 

James smiled fondly. "I'm right here, you know, they can't hurt you," he promised as they walked down the stairs. The smell of breakfast was wafting up from the kitchen. He could hear Nibbles humming jovially as she prepared the bacon, eggs and toast. "People whisper because they have nothing better to do with themselves, but they can't hurt you. They can't even touch you. I won't let them." His voice was fierce with promise.

“That’s not the point, even whispering can hurt you know” he said putting his hand on the banister as he walked down the stairs. “So it doesn’t matter if you are there or not for that, it will still happen” he said reaching the bottom of the stairs and waiting hesitantly for James not wanting to be the first into a room where his parents where.

James came to stand beside him and stared into his face. "I'll hex their tongues to the top of their mouths if that will help," he said with that characteristic, boyish grin, before leading the way into the kitchen. He wondered, belatedly if it would bother Severus that his parents had come down to breakfast in their dressing gowns - another Christmas Eve morning tradition. He snuck a curious sideways glance at the slytherin as they sat down at the table.

"Morning boys!" Mr Potter chimed over the Daily Prophet. He was jovial but a bit flushed and James wondered if they suspected something about where Severus had spent last night. He didn't care of course and neither would they, but Severus might.

Snape looked at the pair at the table and surveyed them for a short moment before giving a small nod and a murmured “morning” before moving to sit in a seat beside James and trying to move his slightly baggy shirt to try and cover his neck a bit more.

“Oh, I just remember I forgot to take my potion this morning. Please excuse me for a moment” he said getting and walking out of the kitchen calmly to go and retrieve the potion. After downing it in one gulp Snape headed down the stairs again, the smell of breakfast filling his nose and making him feel rather hungry as he left the staircase and headed for the kitchen door before stopping and hearing the Potter’s talking and thought it would be rude to just march in so stood there and waited for then to stop before chancing an entry. 

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of you know,” Mrs Potter said brightly, as Nibbles levitated two steaming plates of breakfast in front of James and Severus’ empty seat. “As soon as we went to bed we expected one of you to sneak into the others’ room. Honestly, you’re both adults, you can do as you please.”

James blushed darkly and lowered his gaze to his breakfast. “Severus doesn’t like people talking about him,” he muttered, “or knowing things about him.”

“He’s seems very secretive about his life, not that there is anything wrong with having secrets” he said giving James a warm smile. “But I was wondering James, could you tell us what the relationship is between you two? I mean, you seem to enjoy each others company and sharing a room together” he said watching James as he ate a piece of toast.

“And I see what you mean now when you told us he was shy, he seems very jumpy poor lad” Mr Potter said before stirring some sugar into his tea.

James swallowed his mouthful thoughtfully, unsure how to answer that question even to himself. He thought of this morning, when he had sought more and Severus had scrambled out of bed. But then after, in the shower. Hmm. He stared blankly at his eggs and bacon. “I’m not sure what the relationship between us is,” he said at last, not knowing what else to say.

Across from him, his parents were both watching curiously.

James flushed and shovelled down a few more mouthfuls. “I’ll take whatever he can give me.”

With that Snape walked back into the room slowly and quickly sat back into his chair and looked down at his breakfast.

“I hope your breakfast is alright dear, I know I didn’t do very well around greasy food when I was pregnant with James. Nibbles can get you something else is you like” she said giving Snape a kind smile so he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable and trying to show him it was alright to ask for something else if he wished.

“No this is fine, thank you” he said eating a piece of toast and moving his leg so his knee was touching James’ under the table feeling better to know he was so close.

James stilled as Severus’ knee touched him and then leant into him, caressing his ankle with his bare toes affectionately. He’d meant what he’d said to his parents, he’d take whatever Severus would give him. He reached across the table and slid the seedless raspberry jam down to the man sitting beside him, knowing he had a passion for it at the moment. He smirked when Severus looked surprised that he’d remembered.

“We’re going to Diagon Alley today to get some things for the baby and a few Christmas bits,” he explained, his leg still entwined around Severus’. “Want us to pick you up anything?”

“I don’t think there is anything we really need dear, you two just go out and have some fun and rap up warm it’s meant to snow later and I don’t want you getting sick” she said giving them both a loving motherly smiled as Snape spread jam onto his toast.

Snape quietly sat and ate him toast listening to the conversation before raising his slender foot and brushing it against James’ in an affectionate gesture.

James couldn't help it. He felt a swell of hope in his belly at Severus touch and he smiled warmly at him as he ploughed through his own breakfast - suddenly more hungry than before. 

***

With Severus' magic a little unpredictable in his second trimester, James was the one to cast a glamour on him and disguise his belly for the journey into Diagon Alley. They still looked like themselves, however and maybe that was why Severus subtly refused to hold his hand as they walked down the bustling street. Magic Christmas lights twinkled around every shop front, the windows doused with wreaths, holy, mistletoe and all the trimming. Candles even floated above the street that sung festive songs.  
It was in Malkins that they first stopped and James held up little onesies bearing ridiculous words across them, in an attempt to get Severus into the spirit of things. The one he now held read "I love my Daddies."

“Not on your life Potter” he said with a scowl and crossed his arms and looking away from the little onesie as he looked around the store at couples looking though baby clothes and toys, some holding small clothes to their other half’s bellies.

“If you need me I think I will be sitting down over there” he said pointing to a chair before heading to it and sitting down as James went back to looking though baby clothes and the fun little messages on them. “He is enjoying this way to much” he said exasperated as he tipped his head back as he listened to children running around laughing before hearing crying and he lifted his head again seeing a small boy probably no more than 3 or 4 with light brown hair and big hazel tear filled eyes. Snape looked around seeing know of his parents or anyone heading towards him, after a few second of watching him crying he stood and waked the few short steps to him and bend down and picked the boy up.

“It’s alright don’t cry” he said in a light tone as he bounced him gentle in his arms before walking over to a basket of soft toys and pulling out a white rabbit with a small blue ribbon around his neck. “Don’t cry little man you are okay, you have to show your mummy that you are a big boy” he smiled doing a little voice for the rabbit and using it to kiss his small scuffed knee’s. The boy sniffed a few times before taking the small rabbit and holding it tightly and giving him a small smile and a woman with long blonde hair ran over and apologised about her son before taking him from Snape and the small boy gave him a wave over his others shoulder as they walked away and up to tall man he guessed was her husband and Snape waved back with a small smile on his face before looking at the basket of rabbits again and petting one on the head as it leaned over the side before heading back to his chair and sitting again.

"Is this your way of inadvertently picking a toy?" James said softly, plucking the rabbit up that Severus had petted and dropping it onto the large pile of things he had already chosen. He came to a halt in front of Severus, tilting his head to the side and regarding him thoughtfully in silence for a moment. "I really do not understand how you think our child will be better off without you to love it as well." He stared at him. "What about all the things in the world that I can't teach her?"

“I wasn’t picking anything” he said looking at the bunny of a second before looking at James again. “And I don’t see what I can teach it that you won’t be able to. Not only that I’m no good with children so the child will be just fine without me” he said crossing his arms again.

“Also anything it cant learn from you it will learn at Hogwarts when it’s older.”

James snorted. "Because Hogwarts had such talent in teaching me Potions and that sort of thing before you helped me. I studied it for over six years and didn't get it 'til you helped me out." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "It's more about knowledge anyway - it's about having two parents that love it more than anything, whether those parents are a couple or not." He didn't know why he was arguing, Severus had vowed to try after all and he had been trying, James was just pushing too hard, too fast in his impatience. 

Smiling sadly, James, hovered the large pile over to the counter, where the items began to register on the old-fashioned till, before packing themselves neatly into parcels wrapped in brown paper. "You know, Quality Quidditch Supplies do a baby cleansweep - err....that's kind of like a muggle rocking horse but it's a broomstick?"

“Oh that’s a wonderful idea a broom for a baby” he murmured under his breath as he watched the cashier packing the items and watching to see what James had actually bought but his eyes seemed to stay focused on the bunny that was put into a small brown carrier by itself.

Looking to his side he could still see the big grin on James’ face at the thought of the broom and Snape shook his head thinking ‘insane quiddich lover’.

Once the items were paid for they headed out into the lightly fall snow and made plans for the next place that they would head too even with Snape’s eyes falling on two different places Sugarplum's Sweet Shop and apothecary shop.

"Want to head to get your potions supplies first?" James suggested, but as they stood there, a member of the bustling crowd collided hard with Severus, sending him sprawling to the side. James surged forward and caught him, jerking him upright and glaring at the back of the passer-by. "Watch where you're going, arsehole!" he seethed, but that was nothing to the rage that boiled in his gut as the person turned to face them. 

"Such Christmas cheer, is that common language in the Potter household?" Lucius sneered, looking then to Severus. "Severus, I'd be careful, if I were you, what your offspring learns from its father." He stepped closer but James put himself between the two men, wand drawn and face hard with menace. Other members of the crowd hadn't seemed to notice the altercation yet - too wrapped up in their own seasonal stress.

"Keep away from him, unless you want your bollocks turned into Christmas baubles - see how much Christmas cheer you have then."

“Potter stop you don’t want to cause trouble” he said touching his arm and trying to get him to lower his wand. “He’s not worth it and I’m alright really, Malfoy isn’t worth using your magic on so just ignore him” he said before sending a glare at Malfoy from beside James.

“What are you even doing here Malfoy? I thought you and your family would be having your normal stuck up Christmas party” he said as he watching him seeing that he couldn’t be there to buy gifts as he was carrying no bags.

"I do not need to justify myself to the like of you, Severus, nor to your Gryffindor lapdog," Lucius sneered. "If you must know, I am on my way to Gringotts to make a deposit into His account." He patted his deep robe pocket self-importantly. "Our Lord has more important things to do than maintain his account after all and as of late he has trusted me implicitly to deal with all of his financial and...personal affairs." He sounded so smug that he, at last was so important to the Dark Lord.

"He's not our Lord," James sneered. "No one is my Lord. He's just a man with control-issues."

Lucius glared darkly. "As I told Severus once, Potter, I gave you this...thing," he gestured to Severus' belly that looked flat under the glamour. "I can take it away just like that." To add effect to his final words, he clicked his fingers but as he did so, James seized the offending wrist and squeezed, hard. 

"If you hurt him or my child, Voldemort's favour will be the least of your problems," James whispered darkly under his breath, so that those passing by could not hear - only him, Lucius and Severus. "You think you're a big man, Lucius Malfoy, but you're only a bully with more money than sense, hiding behind the biggest figurehead of power. But I won't roll over for you like MacNair and the others." He flicked Lucius' hand away from him in distaste then, so hard that it sent the man stumbling back a few steps and into someone from the crowd. 

The passerby snarled in annoyance but carried on walking as Lucius righted himself indignantly.

Snape stood watching the scene as he stayed behind James. He had sworn to himself that he would keep the baby safe for James and being anywhere near Malfoy was not a good idea especially as he has just outright said that he could destroy it if he wanted to.

“Why don’t you just go back on your merry way Malfoy and just leave up alone” he said with spite in his voice before kneeling down to pick up some of the packages that James had dropped.

James was shaking all over with rage, teeth grinding together, filled with an urge to do something that would show Malfoy exactly what would happen if he messed with him again. But some people had stopped to stare now and he knew how uncomfortable that made Severus. Keeping his eyes and wand trained on Lucius, he shrank the parcels Severus had gathered up and put them all into the bag slung over his own shoulder, before guiding Severus in the direction of Slug and Jiggers Apothecary.

When the door was safely shut behind them, he let himself calm down a little and looked around the shop. it was empty, due to the season (Severus probably the only person who wanted to buy ingredients on Christmas Eve) and so the shop owner was busy behind the counter, doing stock-take by the look of it.

Severus moved immediately over to the shelf beside the door. James moved further into the shop, giving Severus some space.

Snape smiled as he looked around the shelf, he knew this shop well and knew exactly where everything was and where to locate the ingredients he needed moving from one place to another quickly as everything he wanted was already stored in vials so he didn’t need to waste time having them weighed out.

“And lastly, powdered moon stone” he murmured to himself moving to the shelf they were normally at and finding something else in its place. ‘Now where has that gone?’ he asked himself looking up and down the shelves before spotting it right at the top of a shelf and Snape let out a sigh. “Oh of course it’s up there” he said sounding a little irritated before grabbing the sliding ladders and puller it to where he needed it before climbing the ladders to the top shelf.

"Severus!" James snapped, "What the-? Are you mad? You can't climb around like that!" He glared as the slytherin got to the bottom, a jar in hand. "If you need something you should ask me to do it not risk..." He gestured subtly to his belly, although the clerk behind the counter wasn't paying them any mind. He looked at the squat jar in Severus' hand and then up at the top shelf. With an exasperated sigh he held his hand out for the jar. "That's not moonstone," he muttered. But when Severus looked annoyed as he realised he'd picked up the wrong jar, James took the opportunity to climb the ladder, before the slytherin could start an argument over it.

The bell over the door chimed, signalling another customer had joined them. James winced, hoping Severus wouldn't start a row over him disallowing him to fetch his own ingredients in front of others. "Do you want a 20 ounce jar or a 50 ounce?" he called down to Severus. He got no reply and when he looked down, his heart bolted up into his throat and the world skidded into slow motion.

"Severus, how curious to see you here," Lucius murmured, mock-stumbling forward. He shoved a hand at the ladder, hiding the motion in the lurch forward and sending James shooting across the ladder and hard into the shelves on the far side. In that same instant, Lucius staggered into the shelf beside Severus under pretence of righting himself and the entire top shelf marked 'DANGEROUS SUBSTANCES' crashed down on top of him. 

"No!" James screamed, dropping down the ladder, his legs groaning in protest at the landing, even as he flew across the room. He shoved Lucius aside, unable to spare a thought except for the man before him whose clothes were burning, smoking as if doused with acid. 

"Goodness! Oh Goodness! Those are highly corrosive!" The clerk screamed, hurrying around the desk. James didn't even register her presence. He acted on instinct, Severus, who had been still and silent with shock was screaming now and James tore his sweatshirt off frantically until he was standing there with his torso bare. His skin was burning where the volatile mix of potions had burned through the cloth.

"Get help!" James cried. "Get an antidote - something to stop the burning! Anything!"

The clerk vanished behind them into the storeroom and Malfoy was long gone. James didn't have time to think on anything else. He yanked Severus' trousers down, the fluids having gone through to sear his thighs. "Aguamenti!" he cried, dousing Severus with a gush of water that thankfully seemed to stop the burning. bright red, searing burning covered Severus' thighs, torso and belly. James was shaking but the other boy was still screaming.

"He's pregnant?" the clerk gasped, apparently back with a bottle of ice-blue liquid in hand. 

James couldn't speak. The mix of potions had caused the glamour to fail. Severus' slightly swollen belly was fully visible and burned badly.

"Pour this on the burns," the clerk said quickly, "Then use my floo to get him to St Mungo's. He needs help - water won't stop the burning for long. All those potions together...they'll start to eat away his flesh you need to use that to slow the process and get him help!"

James just nodded once, allowing her to start up the fire for the floo as he up-ended the bottle of blue solution over Severus' skin. It sizzled sickeningly and Severus lurched forward and vomited all over the floor. "Severus!" James gasped, shrugging off his outer robe and wrapping it hurriedly around Severus' body as it convulsed. "I need to get you to St Mungo's." He couldn't afford to wait for the man to stop being sick. He hauled him toward the floo and they vanished in a whirl of flames.

He didn't let go of Severus once. Only when they finally had him flat on a hospital bed did he release him and then, he stood in the corner and watched the healers work, his heart hammering and breath rapid. Severus was still being sick and screaming alternately.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! hope you all have a good weekend with the thought of that cliffhanger I left you on last week ;)  
> And now it is time to get on with the story and see how Snape and his bump are getting on after what Malfoy did, Enjoy! =D

Chapter Seven

Snape had been taken away quickly to one of the rooms as James was told to wait outside in the waiting room much to James’ protests as he could hear Snape’s cries in the halls until what he guessed was a silencing charm took over as the door was shut to Snape’s room.   
James had been pacing the hall for nearly an hour with no word from any of the doctors or nurses on how Severus and the baby were, James finally came to sit reluctantly in a chair and riffled though his bag pulling out an item and enlarging it again and looking into the face of the white rabbit he had bought for Severus that very same day.

“James…James!” Mrs Potter called as she half ran down the hall towards him having got a message from one of the medi witches that her son had arrived in the hospital with a young man that had been rushed into and emergency room. “Dear are you alright? Where is Severus? What happened?” she asked standing in front of her son as he husband joined her side only seconds later.

James shook his head and swallowed hard. His throat felt dry. He felt sick. He ran his thumbs over the head of the little rabbit. The downy material felt so soft. Severus had been so afraid. So wide-eyed and still - completely unlike him. He'd been in such pain.

"Mum," James spluttered, feeling all of seven-years-old again. He bit the inside of his mouth to try and stop the emotion from welling up. He was supposed to be strong right now, that was all he could do - his one job and he had to do it right. "Mum, he's - he's-" He couldn't get the words out.

Shaking his head to try and shock some sense into it, he blurted out quickly, "Fucking Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy slammed into him at the shop, knocked a shelf-load of volatile potions onto him. They burned straight through his clothes. They ate away at his skin! They stopped the burning but they said with all the magic they're using to save him it might cause spontaneous miscarriage or his body might reject the healing, in an attempt to protect the baby or..." He'd lost track of all the possibilities in his mind. He hadn't realised he was squeezing the little bunny in his grasp so hard until his mother gently prised it from his hands.

"I was so useless," he gasped, staring down at his now empty hands. "I was so - Mum, I'm so bloody scared!"

Mrs Potter gave a small gasp to all the information she had just received before taking he son into a tight hug. “I know my darling. I know this but you have to try and be strong for them, you have to believe that they will both pull though this and will come home safely for Christmas” she said gently as she stroked James’ hair and felt him tremble in her hold.

“You always told us Severus is a fighter, you have to believe that he will fight through this as well.”

James shook his head, burying his face in his hands and digging his fingers into his hair, gripping it hard. The roots all-but groaned in negation. "Mum if anything happens to either of them..." He pressed the heels of his palms against his closed eyelids to try and staunch the emotion welling there. "I need them both. If I lose Severus I lose the baby, if anything happens to the baby then the only tie holding Severus to me is..." He felt sick. He might actually be sick.

Two pairs of familiar feet came into view. His dad had been in such a rush he hadn't even put shoes on - he was still wearing his slippers.

"They'll be alright," his father said as he took a seat on the other side of him. "They'll pull through. Have faith. You got him here in plenty of time, he's in safe hands."

"If anything happens to him I'll..." He was shaking with rage now, thinking of all the tortures he wanted to exact on Lucius Malfoy.

Mrs Potter placed a hand on his James’ shoulder wishing there was something she could say to him to make all his pain go away, but there was nothing she knew that would help. “They will be alright” he said so softly she wondered if the words had come out at all as she placed the rabbit on James’ lap and hoping he wouldn’t try to strangle it again.

“Mr Potter” a young medi witch said as she walked into the waiting room and looked at James remembering him as the one who had brought Severus in. 

James immediately leapt to his feet, hurrying over to the woman. "I'm James Potter. Is he alright? Is the baby?" he asked as he felt his parents come to stand either side of him.

"Are you his next of kin, Mr Potter?" she asked diplomatically.

James frowned. "I'm his partner," he half-lied, "I'm the father of his baby. I'm all he has. Please, tell me, are they both going to be alright?"

The tall, red-headed medi witch looked around the otherwise empty waiting room. "Perhaps you should sit, Mr Potter?" she began.

James felt his stomach plummet. "No," he said firmly. "Just tell me now."

She worried her perfectly glossed lip, apparently searching for the right words. "Mr Snape has responded well. His body accepted the counter-measures and we've stopped the corrosive process of the potions. His skin is badly burned but it will heal. He has an ointment to apply on the affected areas every four hours until the marks are gone. He's a little...inebriated from the pain relieving potions but he should be able to go home tomorrow."

James frowned. That didn't sound like news she should be worried about telling him. "So? So that's good isn't it? He's alright and I can take him home tomorrow."

She winced. "Yes. Mr Potter, please, take a seat."

James did not move. He felt his mother's hand in his, his father's on his opposite shoulder. "Just say whatever it is," he said, voice tense. If she told him to take a seat once more he would scream. "It's about the baby, isn't it?"

"Mr Potter, your partner, Mr Snape's magic protected the baby from the potion. It was the pure concentration of magic we were forced to use on it that..." She paused. "Mr Potter, I am afraid there is no way of telling how affected your baby may have been by the magic for some weeks yet. He or she may even be born a squib."

James blinked. "I...I don't care if she can't use magic! As long as she and Severus are healthy!"

The medi witch looked at James for a moment seeing his words were indeed sincere before giving him a small nod.

“Would it be alright for him to go in and see Severus?” Mrs Potter asked to the medi witch in front of them. The medi witch pondered the question for a minute as she looked at a clip board in her hand before looking at the Potter’s again.

“Alright, but only one visitor Mr Snape needs to rest right now not have people floating around him” she said calmly before walking off towards the front desk to hand the clipboard in.

“Go on dear you go see him, we will head home and meet you there alright” she said kissing him cheek. “Tell Severus we send our love and we will see him tomorrow” she said giving James a smile before starting to head back down the corridor with her husband and eventually disappearing into one of the floo networks to head home.

James took a deep breath as he headed for the door he had last see Snape go through and slowly open the door as it gave the smallest of squeaks. Looking across the room he spotted Severus looking half asleep on one of the white hospital beds as another medi witch walked out of the room pushing a trolls which held a few bloody sheets before she was gone leaving James and Severus alone in the room the only sound was the slightly shallow breathing of Severus from his bed as he burned fingers twitched against the cool sheets his eyes half open and taking in small parts of the room as he didn’t want to turn his head.

Slowly, James made his way toward him, taking a seat in the chair beside his bed. He saw Severus' eyes widen infinitesimally as he recognised him. James reached out but then saw his burned fingers, thinking better of it. Instead he leaned across, resting his arm on the bed and brushing the backs of his knuckles gently against Severus' cheek. Anything from chest up seemed to have been spared the burns. 

"I didn't want to leave you," he said, his voice low and ragged, "they made me I...I won't leave again. I promise." He cleared his throat, trying to make his voice sound normal again. "They say I can take you home tomorrow."

Snape looked at James his vision a little weak from all the potions swimming around in him system and the numbing sensation it brought with it. “I’m sorry” he said in a small voice as he looked at James “I ruined the day…you were so happy earlier…we should have. Gone to the sweet shop then home” he said managing to move his burnt hand and touch a part of James’ robs.

“I put the baby in danger…I’m so sorry” he said as a tears managed to escape his eyes and fell onto James’ knuckles that were stroking his cheek, he had never cried in front of James before but at this point he didn’t care.

James felt his own eyes burn and he blinked, hard. "No," he said gently. "You didn't ruin anything. You were so strong. I just...I completely fell apart. You and your magic saved our baby." He wanted to reach down and pet the little bump but he knew the burns there would still be raw. Instead, he settled for touching the skin just beneath, rubbing gently, reassuringly. He couldn't help himself, he leaned in and kissed Severus' lips, soft and moist from his tears. 

"I'll stay here with you, then we can go home together tomorrow and spend our first Christmas together."

“Will you really stay?” he asked looking at James. “I don’t like it here, I don’t like the nurses, one of them froze up when she saw my back when they were ripping my clothes off to stop the burning” he said gently holding onto some of James’ robs only half aware he was doing it because of the potions he was forced to take.

“I want to go home now…I don’t want strange people poking at me and taking my clothes off to treat me.”

"I won't let them touch you anymore," he promised, his eyes fierce. He smoothed his palm over Severus' forehead, brushing his hair back from his face gently. "They said all you need now is me to rub the salve into the burns until they're healed. And the baby..." he paused, considering sugar-coating the truth, but he knew Severus would want it as it was. "The baby is alive, we'll find out if she was hurt at all in a few weeks. There's no way of telling just yet." His thumb caressed the creases in Severus' brow until the man stopped frowning. He kissed him again gently. "No one needs to touch you anymore. Just me, I promise. They won't be able to make me leave without you."

Snape gave a weak smile somehow feeling better at hearing James’ words and knowing that he wouldn’t be leaving him alone in St. Mungo’s. “You should tell your parents where we are. You don’t want them to worry about us not going back, they might think something terrible has happened” he said with a weak laugh trying to brush off everything that had happened before wincing in pain.

“…I hope the baby is alright” he said in a small slow voice.

James looked thoughtful for a moment, then he kissed Severus again, drawing back, pulling out his wand. "Expecto Patronum!" he chanted and a whispery, silver vapour surged out into the centre of the room, morphing into a glowing stag. "Severus is alright and awake. We'll be home late tomorrow morning. I love you." With a gesture of his wand, he sent the patronus off. It vanished through the wall and James turned back to Severus. 

"You should get some sleep," he said. "I'll have to wake you in a few hours to apply the salve."

“But. What will you do while I’m asleep? You’ll get bored” he said looking at James as he sat in the chair next to him before his eyes glanced down to his pocket. “You still have the rabbit” he said with a small smile seeing its small ears poking out of the pocket of his black robs.

“I guess you wont be completely on your own then” he said trying not to laughed and hurt himself again as his eyes slowly tried to close. “…I’m sorry I scared you today.”

James smiled, patting the rabbit's head in joking affection. "I'll watch you while you sleep," he said, matter-of-factly. "It's a very satisfying passtime." He was relieved to see Severus scowl slightly at that, a little of his usual self creeping through the exhaustion and haze of potions. 

"Sleep, Severus. I'll wake you in a few hours."

***

It was a long night. James did wake Severus four hours later to massage the salve on, but the man had fallen asleep almost immediately afterwards thanks to the painkillers still in his system. The healers tried to coerce him to leave a few times while Severus slept, but James ignored them. He stayed there all night, staring at Severus' sleeping face, unable to do anything more than touch his face now and again when he stirred. 

The hospital was lonely and quiet at night. His mind was racing with every conceivable way he might have prevented this and also of what he wanted to do to Malfoy to make him pay. By the time breakfast came around and he had to wake Severus for it, he felt worn threadbare with worry. "Mum sent some of your favourite jam in for you to have on toast," James said softly, wheeling the hospital tray over to Severus' bed. "Try to keep it down, then some tea. Once you've done that and had a piss they'll let me take you home."

“Some times it surprises me how vulgar to can be Potter, you could have just said go to the bathroom” he said sitting up in bed still feeling a little achy but not as bad as he had the previous morning. But he smiled as James removed the lid from the jar of jam and the smell of its contense drifted to Snape’s nose.

“I do love that jam” he said as James handed him the toast with large amounts of the jam spread across to and he took a sizable bit out of it and managing to get some of the jam on his nose.

James laughed good-naturedly, leaning forward and wiping Severus' nose with his sleeve. "I'd like to think of myself as...straight-forward," he mused, and stirred some sugar into Severus' tea, squeezing the teabag to make it stronger, the way he knew Severus liked it. "Mum wrapped my present for you, it's at home under the tree."

Snape looked up from his toast. “You got me a present?” he asked looking at James lowering his toast a bit. “But I didn’t get anything for you or your parents” be said sitting up a bit more and feeling a little bad that he hadn’t managed to get anything the previous day.

"You and the baby home safe for Christmas is the best present," he said gently but then he fell silent, looking at Severus thoughtfully. "I was thinking, you know, when you're well again..." He bit the inside of his mouth, not sure if it would be a selfish thing to request when Severus was feeling weak and vulnerable. "Maybe, when you're well again, if you want to, maybe your present could be...maybe you could...you know, go on a proper date with me?"

Snape raised a brow and his toast slipped from his fingers and onto his plate, had he heard James right? Had he actually asked him to go out on a date with him? Snape pondered the questions in his head as he seemed to stare blankly at James before finally making a decision and opening his mouth.

“Why would you want to go on a date with me?” he asked looking at James. “I mean, you pretty much see me every single day (except when they were in classes) so why would you possibly want to go on a date with me?” he asked not giving James a yes or no answer like he was sure he was asking for.

James, with an elbow resting on the edge of the bed, propped his chin on his palm and watched him eat his toast thoughtfully. "I'd just like to go out with you properly, that's all, food and maybe even a muggle film? I've always wanted to go to one of those...cinema thingies. They sound brilliant!"

He regarded Severus carefully then. "Erm, you don't have to it's just...you know, something I'd like to do. I thought you might want to as well?"

“I guess…I don’t see a problem with that. But I think muggle films would bore you and we would have to glamor my belly again. It’s not normal in the muggle world for men to be pregnant and two guys together are sometimes hated by others” he said calmly as he watched James.

“But if that’s what you want I won’t say no. But you know I honestly wouldn’t mind just going for a walk around your garden at your home and hearing stories about you growing up” he said leaning back against his pillow holding his tea cup and running his thumbs around the rim.

James brightened. Severus seemed interested in him, in his childhood and family life. That was encouraging. He leant forward a little, eager. "Mum has charms on the garden, you know. It's like spring out there all the time. I can take you for a walk when you're up to it. I can even show you the tree-swing Dad made for me. They carved my height into the tree as I was growing up..." He was babbling, but Severus seemed pleased to hear it.

He really did look lots better this morning, so much more healthy. Stronger.

A while later, the mediwitch came in and stood back to the side while James offered to help Severus into the private toilet that lead off the room. "Can you walk yourself?" he asked as he watched Severus get out of bed stiffly. The hospital gown he was wearing had been charmed to not stick to his burns, but Severus seemed very rigid-limbed as he made for the bathroom. "I can help?" James offered.

“Nope! I’m sure you have seen enough of me to last you a life time and the last thing I want is for you to see me peeing” he said slowly shuffling his way towards the toilet determined to get there on his own even if he was doubling over on himself a bit before reaching out and touching the handle to the toilet.

“See made it here myself” he said walking inside and closing the door behind him and silence filled the room before a tiny yelp was heard. “I’m fine” he called through the door.

James leant against the door and waited. If he heard just one more sound he would be in there, whether Severus' pride would suffer it or not. Then, however, he heard a small, relieved sigh and a tell-tale trickling. James flushed and turned away, waiting patiently until Severus appeared again. 

"All well?" the medi-witch asked. When Severus nodded sheepishly, she scrawled something down on her clipboard. "Excellent. I will give your partner, Mr Potter the required salve to be applied once every four hours. It has painkilling properties safe for the baby, as well as integrated charms to stop your clothes from sticking to them or rubbing the salve off. The burns should be gone in a few days." She scribbled something else down.

"And...when do we come back to see about the...the baby?" James asked.

The medi-witch looked at each of them in turn. "At your sixteen week scan, we should be able to check the baby's magical stability better. The general health seems fine, however." James was irritated that the baby's health didn't seem to be good enough for this woman. He scowled.

"If she's healthy, that's all that matters. She can be a squib for all i care as long as she's alright!" Why did the hospital staff seem to think that magic was everything? He was a pureblood, yes, and to someone like Malfoy, a squib child might be worse than death, but to him, it was inconsequential.

Snape look between the two before heading back over towards the bed. “If everything is fine does that mean I can go back home?” he asked looking at the medi-witch who seemed to be staring at James obviously not liking being yelled at by him.

“That’s a good point do I even have any clothes to go home in?” he asked sitting down on the edge of the bed wanting to take the weight off his feet as they hung off the side of the bed.

James gave the medi-witch a final, disparaging look before focusing on Severus again. He gave a small nod and gestured to the little brown paper bag beside the chair he'd spent most of the night in. "Mum sent them in with the jam. They're only mine - she didn't want to go through our trunk to find your clothes. But they'll be alright to go home in." He looked pointedly at the medi-witch, when she cleared her throat uncertainly.

"Do you have a problem?" he snapped.

She stared, taken aback. "Sir, Mr Potter, you'll need to counter-sign his release forms to say you're happy for him to be turned into your care."

James snorted. "He'll go where he pleases, he doesn't need me to sign anything," he snatched the clipboard off her and scribbled where he was required before shoving it back at her roughly. "But there you go, anything to get him away from you lot. Is that all? Because I'm sure he'd like to get dressed."

“I can get dressed behind this very useful curtain” he said standing up and looking at the pair before pulling the curtain around his bed showing only the sight of his feet and ankles though the gap at the bottom for a few seconds before he moved further back to get dressed. But after a few minutes a small “Potter” was heard from behind it as Snape obviously did need some help finding it very hand to bend and move to put clothes on as his body still felt very stiff and sore.

James gave the witch a glare that finally dismissed her and as soon as she was gone, he circled the curtain, finding Severus awkwardly trying to get his trousers on without bending and therefore irritating his burned stomach and thighs. The salve stopped clothes from rubbing against the burns and were charmed to not be rubbed off by clothing, they numbed the pain but Severus must still ache, must still be sore. That reminded him...

"It's nearly 4 hours since the last time," he said, reaching for the jar of sunshine-yellow gel. It smelled strongly of grass, fresh and cool, as he lifted the lid. "Lean on the edge of the bed while I put this on you?" He dropped to his knees on the cold, sterile floor and scooped a generous amount onto his fingers. He smoothed the gel-like salve across Severus' poor belly first, gently, but the man jumped at the touch of cold substance. When James looked up sheepishly, he saw that Severus was blushing.

“Sorry you have to do this” he said in a small voice as he turned his head away blush as he leaned against the bed. “And just so you know nothing bad happened when I was in the bathroom” he said blushing even more “I yelp because the toilet seat was cold and it was a bit of a shock to me” he said glancing down at James and seeing him kneeling down and being to close to him made him blush scarlet and he quickly turned away trying to think of something else besides James.

James felt his own cheeks burning too and he focussed his eyes on his task. When Severus' belly was coated and has set protectively, he smoothed a layer over the man's pale, practically hairless chest. Suddenly nervous, his thumb glided slickly over a pink nipple, that had narrowly avoided being burned. Severus gasped and James jerked back. "Sorry," he said hastily, not wanting to overstep his bounds, but as he knelt down again to smooth some soothing balm over the man's thighs, he couldn't help but notice his cock rising under his gaze.

Snape blushed as he let out a small shudder of a breath and tried desperately to make his body calm down, but it didn’t seem to be working. The feel of James’ hands on his thighs just seemed to excite him more and he was starting to feel the restraints of his boxes pushing against his slowly forming erection and he hoped that James wouldn’t notice.

James swallowed. He cast a glance at the curtain surrounding them. As hospital policy, no one would dare peek around while it was drawn, but still...

James moistened his dry lips. He felt his own body mimicking Severus' at the sight. But it would be inappropriate to act, wouldn't it? He inhaled shakily, trying to keep his breathing calm as he finished massaging the gel into Severus' thighs, before holding out his hand, gesturing for Severus to put his there so that he could apply the salve there too.

Snape took a quick glance down seeing James’ hand outstretched and waiting for his own and he quickly placed his hand in James before feeling the cool fell slick his fingers and he looked down watching James run his fingers up and down Snape’s and he found the action somewhat erotic somehow. He quickly shook his head trying to get the thought from his mind and took in a deep breath trying to relax and not fidget about.

"A-Alright?" James asked, but it was his voice that cracked. He licked his lips again, massaging each of Severus' fingers and the backs of his hands until they too were covered. Reluctantly, he let him go and sat on his knees a little longer, momentarily forgetting what they were doing.

Ah, yes.

"Want me to help you into your trousers?" He said, reaching for the discarded loose grey cotton trousers of James' that his mother had sent and that Severus had been struggling to get into before he'd requested help. He hesitated, worrying the fabric between his fingers. It was blatantly obvious that both of their bodies did not want those trousers in the way.

When Severus said nothing in answer, James, ever the bold gryffindor, murmured huskily, "Do you want me to bring you off quickly?"

Snape turned scarlet at James’ words and quickly turned his head to him. “N-no, we’re in a hospital…it wouldn’t be right” he said lifting one of his legs to try and hide his erection that was pushing against his boxers looking like it wanted to get to James liking the offer he had just given.

“And…” he started not really sure what he wanted to say as he looked down at James and instead just shut his eyes tight and ended up fidgeting a bit as his raised leg rubbed against his groin unconsciously.

James shifted where he knelt on the floor. "You're uncomfortable," he gestured to Severus' hands then. "I don't think it'd be a good idea if you touched your cock with that stuff on your hands either." Reminded by his words, he spelled his own hands clean, before kneeling up higher, Severus' swelling arousal straining at his underwear just under James' chin. "This'll be easier. Let me..."

Snape blushed watching James but slowly he began to lower his leg. “But…but I’m really loud…and doing it in a hospital” he said looking around at his sterile surroundings (or of what he could see with the curtain in the way) as he shifted on the spot and felt the only thing keeping the pair of James’ boxers that he was wearing up was the very noticeable erection.

James smiled mischievously, the perfect expression to drag them both away from the panic that had swallowed them both only hours before. He reached for his wand again and flicked a couple of spells at the door. An audible click sounded, followed by a familiar, swoop of a muffling spell. No one would hear them, no one could come in. "No one will hear you," he promised, wondering if Severus forgot he was a wizard sometimes. He opened the button in Severus' boxers (his borrowed boxers, actually) for access to the man's erection without dragging off the underwear altogether.

That pale, long cock jerked up as he unleashed it. His mouth watered. Gripping it, he stroked it in long, firm jerks. "I'll be quick. Let me help you. Let me do something for you, please."

“You…you’ve already done enough” he said already starting to breath heavily as James an his hands up and down his erection and the though of doing something like this in a public place just seemed to make him more excited and his cock gave a jerk as he gripped onto his sheets.

“You…you don’t have to do this…really” he said as he licked at his dry lips and his hips gave a small sway as if enticing James to continue and do more to him.

"I don't have to," James agreed, squeezing just right to tug that foreskin down, exposing the flushed, pink head. He swiped his thumb against the slit teasingly, pressing in a tiny fraction. The action coaxed a sweet bead of pearly pre-come out. It glistened in the unnatural light that glowed above. "I want to," James clarified, dipping his head to swipe up the droplet of fluid.

Snape let out a small started moan as his hips gave a small jerk as he let out a pant. “But…ah” Snape gave up on his words as he felt James’ hands touching him and his tongue lick at the tip of erection as his face flushed pink at the thought before looking down at James and watching his every careful action and the grin that marked his handsome face.

"I want you to guide me," James said. "I want your fingers in my hair, shoving my mouth back and forth over your cock." He guided Severus' hand to the back of his head and then bent down of his own accord, slurping sinfully loud over the head. He felt Severus' body squirm. "Make me take your cock, Severus. Make me swallow you up." He wrapped his tongue around and lapped at his frenulum, sucking gently, his hand still stroking the rest of that pulsing erection.

“But I…I cant” he said blushing and going to move his hands away but James reached up and put them back again and Snape panted knowing there would be know way to get out of James’ request so did as he was told. “O-okay then” he said gripping onto James’ hair gently and slowly guiding his onto his cock and letting out a moan as he felt James’ lips guided over it and he leaned forward almost bending over him.

James hummed happily around the cock in his mouth, hot and smooth and heavy on his tongue. He lapped at the underside, moaned until Severus quivered at the vibrations it sent through his erection. The hand on his head tightened and he was pushed further down. Severus was taking control, being active again. He liked that. It made his stomach twist pleasantly. He rocked gently towards the base. "Mmmm," he hummed again.

Snape shuddered at James hummed around his, the sensation was overwhelming and he pulled James back before moving his forward and he took a small step forward and the front of his foot rubbed up against the crotch of James’ jeans and he let out a shudder of a breath.

James groaned heavily around the cock in his throat, nuzzling that bit deeper until his nose was buried in Severus' pubic hair. He'd swallowed it all. He rocked his hips forward as he swallowed around that cock, concentrating to breathe. He wanted to hump against that foot, pant out that all the dirty things he wanted. Fucking, yes, rub me off with your foot, he thought, sucking harder.

“Ah…James” he moaned out in a low voice as he rubbed his foot harder against James’ groin and feeling his hard cock against his foot as he rubbed and he moved James away from his for a minute as he looked down into his eyes.

“James” he breathed as he looked at him. Severus had come to realize over the last few months the only time he called him by his first time was when they were being intimate like this and he took a half mental note to call him by his first name more. “James…kiss me.” 

James didn't need asking twice. He surged upwards, only just remembering not to lean against Severus' body, just in time. Instead his own body hovered a hairsbreadth from Severus' skin and he poured passion into the kiss he wished he could express by touching him all over. He massaged those soft lips and prised them open with his own. His tongue stole inside, flickering at the underside of Severus', all while his hand fisted him hard, fast, until he felt Severus rocking up urgently to meet his hand.

"Sev," James panted huskily between kisses. He saw those dark eyes flicker with want and emotion and James dove forward again, kissing gently this time, slowly.

Snape moaned into the kiss and leg out quick pants of air every time there lips parted and Snape’s hands travelled down till they found the button and zip of James’ jeans and his fingers fumbled to undo the button without breaking the kiss before pulling down the zip on his jean.

“James” he said in a small breath before kissing his deeply again and his hand reached into his jeans and stroked at the fabric of his boxes already feeling a small wet patch from its restriction and from what he guessed also the touch of his foot rubbing against it and he moved his hips forward so they were rubbing against James and he let out a moan into the kiss as his body shuddered.

James broke the kiss, wrapping his spare hand round Severus' wrist. "Be careful of your hand," he breathed, holding that gaze a moment before resuming the kiss. He released Severus' wrist, rocking into the caress of those deft fingers and his own fingers trailed up that up, stroking the the man's shoulder blades. "I can touch you here now," James whispered reverently, in awe of the trust that Severus placed in him.

“I will let you touch me anywhere” he breathed onto James’ lips before placing a small kiss onto them as his hand undid the small button on James’ boxers and releasing his erection from it’s fabric prison and moving closer so there cocks were touching. “Touch them both together” he breathed resting a hand on James’ arm and he moved his hips to rub against James’ erection.

James part groaned, part gasped, resting his head against Severus' and stared down in time to see the tip of his cock ooze a trail of pre-come as it kissed Severus' slit. "Sev," he panted, rocking his hips forward, tense with the effort of not letting any other part of him touch Severus, lest he aggravate his wounds. The salve protected the wounds from rubbing off and from the touch of clothing, but he could still hurt him accidentailly. 

Gritting his teeth, James' hands flounded midair for a moment. he dug his fingers into the sheets behind Severus. "I want to touch you, all over, everywhere," he grunted, "so badly...want to-" His words cut short with a low hiss as his foreskin caught just right on the tip of Severus' cock. "Fuck." His mind processed Severus' recent words then. His tongue darted out to taste Severus on his lips.. He reached between them carefully, wrapping his fingers around Severus', joining them together around both of their erections and squeezing, long and hard.

Snape let out a groan as he put his head on James’ shoulder and moved his hand the length of there erections with James, his hips giving a small buck to the touch and feel of them being so close. “James…” he let out in a hot breath and gave a kiss to his neck before lifting his head again.

“This feel…so good” he panted looking into James’ eyes as his hand moved a little faster.

"Mmmm," James agreed huskily, lifting his head to kiss Severus again sloppily, before looking down at the delicious sight of their pulsing, red cocks grinding slickly together. "When you're better I want to lay you down and touch you everywhere, with every part of me," he panted, stroking their pricks faster, harder. His wrist cramped but he didn't stop or slow. "My cock, my hands, my mouth, I want to touch you all over, even the places I've never touched before."

He seized that mouth in a kiss again, devouring Severus' helpless groan of need. "I want to worship you from head to foot - front to back." He punctuated his words by nipping at the man's lower lip, flickering his tongue at the tender flesh caught between his teeth.

“Hmmm” Snape hummed as he stuck out his tongue and met James pulling him into a deep kiss as his hips started to follow the movements of James’ hand and his hair fell into his face a with the movement. “Ah…fuck, James” he moaned touching his forehead to James’ as he panted and let out moans. “J-James…I…I want to come…please” he said in ragged breathes and leaning back again the bed a bit more to push his hips forward more and also to get James enjoy the sight even with all the burns marking his body.

With a final kiss, James tore his mouth away so that he could look at Severus' flushed, pleasured expression. He jerked them faster, feeling his own insides clench on the precipice of orgasm. "Keep saying my name," he urged him hungrilly. "Keep saying it. I want you to say it while you come."

He twisted his wrist just right, his palm covering the top of their erections, ready to catch their come. "Come for me, right into my hand - against my cock," he whispered, squeezing, stroking again, dragging his own orgasm from him. His body shook against Severus' as it spilled itself against that cock, into his hand. He felt Severus' body answer in kind.

“James…James…JAMES!” yelled loudly as he felt himself explode into James’ hand and he threw his head back gripping onto the sheets with one hand and James’ hand with the other.

The room was spinning and making Snape feel very dizzy but he lifted his head and looked up at James as panted trying to catch his breath again as he looked into James’ warm brown eyes. “…James.”

The said man smiled, boyish and breathless, drawing his hand back, the one filled with their own semen and used his free one to banish the mess before wrapping his arms around Severus gently. "Merry Christmas," he said softly, kissing the shell of that ear, before taking a step back. After tucking himself away and pulling his own trousers up, he bent down and started to help Severus into the cotton trousers.

"I mean what I said, by the way," he said, peering up at Severus from under his fringe. "When you're better, I'll worship you all over. Everywhere."

“Theirs really no need to do that.” He said looking down at James through his curtain of black hair. “You do enough for me already and this isn’t something you really have to do” he said moving away from the bed so James could place the trousers over his hips and tie them so they wouldn’t fall down.

“You really don’t need to push yourself so hard for someone like me…even though I know you want to touch the places I don’t let anyone else touch…like my back” he said glancing away from James.

"I want to because it's you, not just because no one else has," James said, open a loose white button-up shirt for Severus to step into. It was one of his, but with Severus swelling belly, it would fit him alright. "I don't feel obligated to, I want to. You trust me to touch you, even there and I..." He flushed, looking away, embarrassed, focussing on doing the buttons up on the shirt. "The knowledge that you trust me, it makes it...me...happy."

“It makes you happy?” he asked looking down at James. He could half understand where he was coming from though he never let anyone touch him back, in fact the only ones who had ever seen or touch his back was James and Lily and what was only because she used to clean them for him but even then he would always flinch away from her touch, James was the first and only person to lay a hand on his bare skin.

“Well…if you want to touch me…I wont stop you” he said as he gave a small blush and sat down on the bed as James slipped socks and shoes onto his slender feet and James helped him to stand again. “I mean…I wont just let you have your way with me…but…” he said blushing more as he looked down at the floor. 

James chuckled good-naturedly. "Have my way with you," he echoed, smiling and shook his head, helping Severus toward the door. "I counter-signed that document. We can go now. Come on."

***

James felt distinctly nervous as he sat down on the plush settee in his parents' living room, Severus on one side, his father in the armchair opposite and his mother on her knees beside the Christmas tree, dishing out presents. James kept glancing surreptitiously at Severus, wondering if he would find a family Christmas tedious and tawdry.

"Alright?" he asked gently, distinctively nervous. He wanted Severus to enjoy the typical Potter Christmas, wanted him to want to be part of it.

“Yes I’m fine” he said giving James a smile. It was true he was fine he had never experienced a real Christmas before his father had thought the holiday pointless and a waist of money. But now sitting in the Potter living room and looking around at all the twinkling lights and the warm happy atmosphere Snape couldn’t help but smile.

“This is my first real Christmas…its nice” he said quietly as he watched some of the decorations from the tree fly off and do a few laps around the room before returning to there place on the tree again.

James felt elated and he brushed his knuckles against Severus' leg encouragingly, before reaching across and passing a present to his mother. "From me and Severus," he said brightly, "there should be one for you too, Dad." He felt Severus relax slightly as he said that, he'd done right to put his name on too then, that was encouraging to know.

"Thank you boys," Mr and Mrs Potter said alternately, and Mrs Potter pushed a small pile of presents each across the table to James and Severus. When Severus didn't move to take his pile, she prompted gently, "those are all yours, dear."

Snape turned his head to look at her so fast he thought it might snap off. He looked back at the pile of presents and it almost looked like he didn’t know what to do with them he had never received a gift in his like and now here was a small pile just sitting in front of him.

“T-There for me?” he asked looking at her and she gave him a nod. “I…I don’t know what to say. Thank you” he said looking at Mr and Mrs Potter and smiling at the pair before hesitantly reaching for one of the presents before James reached across and handed him one of the presents. Snape smiled and took it as he read the card attached seeing it was from James and he slowly tore of the colourful paper to reveal a new potions journal and a box of fudge. Snape smiled widely he had been reining to get a new potions book and fudge was what he wanted to buy yesterday before everything had happened, had James learned how to read his mind or something.

“Thank you James, this is wonderful” he said looking at him and thinking about kissing his cheek in thinks but quickly turned away with a small blush and looking at a small square box on his lap and wondering what could be contained inside it.

James blushed brightly, nodding sheepishly as he watched Severus unwrap the presents from his parents. Mr and Mrs Potter had given him a few parcels. There was a new quill with golden eagle plume that glistened when Severus retrieved it from the wrapping paper, complete with self-replenishing ink well. Another parcel contained a set of collector's edition novels from some author that he'd heard was meant to be good. There was also a gift certificate to Twilfit and Tattings and a potions travel carry case made with dragon hide leather, platinum edging and suede lined sections for all essential ingredients and vials.

His parents had gone all-out, James was pleased and Severus seemed speechless. He brushed against the man's knee again. 

"We hope you like them," Mr Potter said. "We didn't have much time to get to know you before we had to buy them."

“There…there wonderful. Thank you so much!” he said getting up and moving to hug Mr and Mrs Potter but his body flinched away at the last second as he looked at them still holding on tightly to the thing they had got for him which just left his standing awkwardly in the middle of the room unsure what he sound do now.

“We also go you this dear. James picked it out though” Mrs Potter said holding up a green box to him and Snape slowly moved to put his things down on the table as he slowly reached out and took the box from her. Opening it carful he found inside a green and silver Christmas ball with his name on it and he felt his eyes tear up a bit as he glanced at the tree seeing three other Christmas balls each with James’ and Mr and Mrs Potter’s names on them.

"We'll get one for the baby too, of course, once he or she has a name," Mr Potter said brightly. "Everyone in the family has one."

James couldn't help himself, he was watching Severus avidly the whole time. He was enjoying himself, opening up more, it was a thrill to see. 

"Oh, and an owl came for you, Severus, from Lily Evans," Mrs Potter chimed in, passing him a thick envelope. Inside, there was a garish Christmas card that sang a different muggle festive tune each time it was opened. Inside was Lily's writing, flashing red and green alternately, along with a book voucher for Flourish and Blotts.

"We can see her tomorrow," James promised Severus. "Remus said that she was...err...visiting him today. They probably won't want to be disturbed. You know..." He had a sneaky suspicion about those two....

Snape gave a nod “yes I guess you are right” he smiled looking back down at the card again before lifting his head and looking at James. “You think it will be alright for me to go out tomorrow? I don’t want Lily worry if you start apply cream to me and she will probably also want to hug me, you know her normal round the neck hugs” he said with a small laugh.

Snape smiled at James before moving over to the tree and looking around wondering where he should put his before looking up and reaching as far as he could even on tip toes, He wanted to have his Christmas ball near James’ but he guess that wouldn’t happen since he couldn’t reach and he guessed it was because James was so much taller that him so he ended up just putting it on a must lower branch making it seem very lonely on the tree and he felt a bit like his Christmas ball, very alone when ever it had come to Christmas.

"If we apply some salve before we go over we can make an excuse to leave when we need to do the next batch," James said reassuringly. When Severus sat down beside him, shifted closer to him subtly so that he could open his own presents.

When all the presents were opened, Mrs Potter brought them all a mug of hot chocolate and then perched on the arm of her husband's chair. "Who want to begin the games this year?" she said brightly. 

James sipped at his hot chocolate. He was a bit hesitant to play the usual Christmas Party games, but most of them were derived from muggles, as he understood it, so Severus shouldn't find it too odd.

Snape’s mind automatically jumped to the worst cases when it came the words ‘Party Games’ he had never played any himself but he had watched a lot of them and most of them consisted of some sort of body touching like trying to pass around a balloon using only your thighs and the same with an orange under the chin. Lily had taught him about spin the bottle but he really hopped they wouldn’t be playing that sort of game.

“Severus dear, why don’t you pick a game for us” she said lightly seeing a slight panic in his eyes and wanting him to feel comfortable and able to join in the fun and games.

Snape looked at James wondering what sort of game he could play which wouldn’t involve touching and that everyone could play together. “Um…maybe we could play…musical chairs” he said his voice was so small he wondered if anyone but James had actually heard him. 

Wizard's musical chairs was slightly different to the muggle kind, in that the chairs would also dance along to the music and continue to dance even when the music stopped. He cast a cushioning charm around Severus, lest he missed the chair - the way James often did in his haste to reach one. Nibbles even joined in for a few rounds as well. At one point, James' father practically tackled him to the floor in determination to reach the chair first, leaving Mrs Potter and Severus trying to stifle their laughter.

Severus seemed to have a good time, James noticed. He kept glancing surreptitiously to the man's face. He jumped whenever he bumped into Mr Potter but besides that he seemed relaxed, happy, carefree. James smiled at him as their eyes met.

After a few rounds of magical musical chairs Snape moved and sat down on the couches to catch his breath and let out small laughs, he couldn’t remember the last time he had had so much fun and been allowed to join in a game. “That was really fun” he smiled leaning his head back on the chair looking at the ceiling as he let out a contented breath.

“Master Potter sir it is time to apply master Snape’s ointment sir” Nibbles said as she appeared with a small crack and placing a tray of tea onto the table which Snape gladly took and quietly drank.

James nodded. "Thanks Nibbles," he said, a little breathless himself, then turned to Severus. "Do you want to quickly do it in the bathroom or shall I do it in the bedroom so you can have a lie down before Christmas Dinner?"

He saw Severus blush slightly at his choice of words and he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Or maybe I can show you the garden after? We've got this little woodland behind the formal garden with its own creek. There is even a herd of pegasi that amble around there during winter. Some of them might have foals with them." He knew there was far too much childish excitement in his voice and face, but Severus didn't seem to mind. In fact he looked on him almost fondly.

“I think, I would like to see them” he said with a smile taking another gulp of his tea. “And since everything is in the bedroom alright we might as well go there. Then I can get my cloak at the same time” he said looking at James and seeing the excitement in his eyes about going and seeing the pegasi and probably getting to spend more time with him on there own.

James all-but sprang out of his seat eagerly. "Yeah, good plan," he said, smiling. 

"It's always spring in the woodland," Mrs Potter said thoughtfully, "I suppose that is why they like it there. They have their young there too, you know."

"We'll send Nibbles for you when dinner is ready," Mr Potter said. James nodded and accompanied Severus up to the spare bedroom. As they walked in and Severus reached for the salve they had placed on the side table earlier, James wondered if Severus would sleep in his bed again tonight. Even if it wasn't for sex, he hoped he would, but he said nothing as he applied the salve carefully. It had to be Severus' choice and the man was having such a good time, relaxed and happy, James didn't want to pressure him into anything.

They only needed their lightweight cloaks as they walked down through the neat garden. There was a fishpond at the base of an ornate, beautifully wild rockery and a great tree nearby with a swing hanging from the strongest branch. The oversized cottage garden was charmed to maintain the perfect temperature for wildflowers, birds and other small creatures.

A vegetable patch his father liked to potter around in was on the far side, near the kitchen door and the rambling pathway that dissected the grass lead on ahead toward an old gate. It was beyond the fence that the forest could be seen. It was on their estate, protected by their enchantments but untamed and alive with small animals, magical and conventional.

"That's the swing Dad used to push me on," James said as they passed the mature tree with stunning multi-hued blossoms. "He made it for me when I was five. I lost my first tooth on it when I jumped off too quick and it whacked me in the face."

Snape lift out a small snort before trying to hold back the laughter knowing he shouldn’t laugh at a child getting wacked in the face by his swing, but since it was James he felt like he deserved it for his years of torture. Snape watched the swing gentle rocking in a small warm breeze before it was out of sight and he turned his attention back to the path again. 

“You really have a beautiful garden, everything is colourful” he smiled looking around at the wild flowers that were growing even as they reached the tree’s and went inside and Snape looked around seeming fascinated by everything he saw and heard and James was right there were many different creatures moving around the forest some of which he had never even seen before.

“James…have you even toughed a pegasi before?” he asked looking up at him curiously wondering since they did live on his land he thought they might be used to seeing the Potter family and have some sort of trust towards them.

James beamed. "The mares don't like to be touched, but the stallions and the foals are curious. Their herd has grown up here so they know me, Mum and Dad." He was heading toward the clearing they liked to graze in, they usually lounged around there at this time in the day. They moved quietly through the trees together, until at last, they reached the meadow.

There were nearly a dozen pegasi - even a few bandy-legged fouls bounding around in the grass. Their coats and feathers glistened in the golden afternoon sunlight. They looked up disinterestedly as he and Severus approached, but otherwise didn't seem to take much notice.

"See," James murmured softly, "see the foals bounding over to us?" His brow crinkled a little. "Oh, the mares are coming over too - they never usually..."

“There so beautiful” he said looking at them with wide eyes as a boisterous little colt bounded over and seemed to stop a little distance away sniffing at Snape before doing the same to James but let out a snort and shook his head when he sniffed him and Snape gave a small giggle.

“Well I guess he doesn’t like you” he smiled as James before having a large shadow looming over him and he looked back to see a tall mare standing in front of him and Snape froze a bit before the mare craned down her beautiful white neck and gave a sniff at Snape’s hair before lowering further to touch his belly with her muzzle(?) causing the foals round her to become curious and do the same thing. Snape smiled as he reached out a hesitant hand and stroked the mares neck her soft main brushing against his fingers before looking at James with a smile and seeing a strange brown coloured colt had bounded up to James and was nudging at him playful and Snape that his colouring was very strange since all the others were gold.

“Looks like you made a friend” he smiled.

"They must be able to smell the baby," James said softly, petting the little colt's nose, retrieving a carrot from his pocket and holding it out for him. The colt snatched it, prancing happily around with his treat, his underdeveloped wings flapping. The mare butted gently against Severus' slightly rounded belly again, huffing interestedly as her filly copied.

 

"Here," James said, handing a few carrots to Severus from his pocket, "make sure they get one each. That filly is a right greedy little thing."

Snape giggled. “I take you have been to see them already without me then” he smiled handing the carrots to the mare and filly who gladly took and filly stood holding onto hers happily with her teeth before munching it down quickly as if she thought someone might take it from her.

“She is so sweet” he said gently touching her nose as she gave a small whinny of delight at the carrot. “Have any of them got names? You said that they have been here for a while so you must have a favourite.”

James blushed. "No," he said, too quickly, clearly meaning he had given them names and was embarrassed about that. "They've been here as long as we have. Since I can remember." He gestured to the main stallion standing nearby, watching. "He's the same age as me - he took the herd from his dad when I was a kid - I remember seeing it, it was amazing!" He looked thoughtful for a second. "I guess he's my favourite. I feel a sort of...connection to him I guess."

“But I bet he would never let you near him” he smiled seeing the stallion flap his great white wings in an impressive display of strength. “You are really lucky James” he said in a small voice stroking the length of the mares face. “You really grew up with a very happy life here” he said not looking at James as the filly rubbed up against his side with her tail wagging. 

James smiled fondly, reaching out and tentatively brushed his knuckles against Severus' - not hard, not even firmly, given his injuries, just enough to let him know he would have held his hand, if he'd been able. 

"Mum and Dad really like you," he said, beaming. "Dad, he er...thinks you're good for me." He looked toward the stallion again. "He did let me ride him once, you know. He treats me like one of his wayward yearlings. It's quite funny to see."

Snape gave a small half hearted giggle as he moved a finger to touched James’ hand. “I’m not so sure I’m good for this family” he said quietly looking at the ground as the mare led her filly back to the rest of the herd. “I couldn’t be more worse for your family if I tried. I cant even show them how thankful I am for things” he said a little sadly.

"In return Mum and Dad only want a chance to get to know you," James said, "we're well off, but we're simple people, really. We don't ask for much to be happy." He looked over at the mare as she brushed affectionately against her stallion. "Maybe when you've had the baby, we can convince those two to let us ride them?"

Reaching across, he brushed his hand against the side of Severus' belly - a patch of skin undamaged by the burns.

“I still haven’t changed my mind about all this you now…about have the baby and giving to you” he said glancing at James before looking away again. “I’m not a good choice for this child and I’m still upset about the whole situation. I said I didn’t want anything in this word to carry around my worthless half blood” be said looking at his belly and the hand that was resting on it.  
"Just try, just...consider it," James murmured, leaning across to brush his lips against the corner of Severus' mouth. He held Severus' gaze for a long time, before he lowered himself to the ground. Leaning back on his arms, he stared out across the sun-kissed meadow and watched the herd. Severus sat down beside him and after a moment, moved closer.

"Dad used to be a curse-breaker," James said distantly, watching as the mare flicked her tail teasingly against the stallion's nose. "When mum was pregnant with me, though she didn't know it at the time, he was attacked by a withering hex. Mum bound her life to his, slowing the curse by taking some of it into herself, sharing her magic with him." He felt Severus tense beside him, but did not look at him, did not look away from the herd. "Of course, then she found out she was pregnant with me and realised..." He smiled sadly. "That they'd both die soon after I reached adulthood. Together. Because they shared the burden of the curse it is less volatile, it only acts to age their bones and organs far sooner than the rest of them. They are older parents, sure, but inside they're...they're close to double their external appearance." 

Finally he looked at Severus. "That's why they're so happy about the baby, they'll get to see her before..." He winced, dropping his gaze to Severus' stomach. "They don't want me to be alone."

“But you wouldn’t be alone…you would have her” he said stroking his belly feeling sad at the thought of James’ parents and the thought that this would be there only chance to se James settled down and with a happy family and someone he…loved.

Snape took a quickly glace at James before going back to rubbing his belly. Did James love him? He didn’t think he had ever heard him say it, but he felt there was know possible way that the Griffindor could love a scared Slytherin like himself. 

James gave a small nod. His lips parted soundlessly for a few moments before he found his words. "I'd like to have you, too," James murmured, so quietly that Severus almost missed it, almost.

James stood then, inhaling deeply as if using the air to cleanse him of melancholy. "I just wanted you to know," he murmured, "I want you to know everything. I don't have secrets from you. This is... Besides my parents, only we two know. No one else. Not even Sirius or Remus."

Snape looked up at James with shocked eyes. “But there your best friends” he said looking at him, how could he not tell Sirius and Remus something this important? He guessed James had his reason but still.

He raised himself unsteadily to his feet and looked at James wondering what he could do to maybe try and cheer James up. “Let’s go back” he said in a soft voice brushing one of his fingers against James’ knuckle. “I’ve…I’ve never been on a swing before…I hope you will push me on your.”

James forced a smile, nothing like the light, boyish grin he usually wore and followed Severus back toward the formal garden. The sight of Severus Snape perching on the swing he'd sat on as a child did tug a more sincere expression from him though. He stepped up behind him, his fingers coming to wrap around Severus where they were on the rope supports of the swing.

"Want a push?" he mused quietly.

“Yes, but gentle. I’ve never been pushed on a swing before” he said with a light blush feeling embarrassed to admit it and James seemed a little take back by the news, everyone he had ever known had been on a swing before. But he gave a nod and pushed Snape lightly.

Snape smiled as he smug the wind blowing and moving his hair as he swung and he let out a small giggle, it was more fun on a swing that he thought is was.

"The first day Dad built this, he pushed me on it for hours - longer than I think he could physically stand, really," James said ruefully, "I cried and cried when he said we had to stop. Didn't really understand then, I s'pose, why we couldn't just keep playing 'til bedtime." He shook his head, ridding it off the thoughts. It was Severus' first proper Christmas, he wanted him to enjoy it.

"Hold on," he said and pushed harder, so that Severus swung forward a bit more this time. He pictured them both pushing their daughter on this swing and grinned sincerely at the image. He didn't see his mother come to stand in the doorway of the house a few dozen feet away.

“Allen get the camera” Mrs Potter whispered to her husband as she watched James and Snape playing on the swing and seeing the big smiles on there faces and he dashed off to find the camera coming back a few seconds later.

“Got the invisibility cloak too, don’t want to disturb this wonderful moment” he smiled throwing it over himself and sneaking into the garden coming to stand a few short feet from the pair. “So perfect” he said in a low voice with a smile as he watched the pair seeming so happy together before snapping the picture as the cloak fell having had to let go of it to hold his camera and Snape gave a started jump and almost fell off the swing.

"Dad!" James exclaimed, face flushing with embarrassment. "Sorry, Severus, they are a right pair of nutters." He smiled good-naturedly, but when he reached for the camera, his father limped quickly back to the house, his face alight with a grin that his son clearly inherited from him.

"Sorry, son, that one is for the photo album!" he cried gleefully.

Snape watched James’ father run off with the camera before breaking into a free open laughed with a big smile on his face. “Oh your dad makes me laugh” he said still with light giggled as he looked at James.

“But I have a feeling you probably wont have that in the album for long” he smiled imaging James stilling it and putting it his room with his own photo of him on the swing. “And now you have a picture of me at the end of this if nothing else” he said swinging lightly his feet still touching the ground.

"Yeah," James murmured, thinking that he would do everything in his power to ensure he ended up with more than a photograph.

***

As soon as they'd turned seventeen, Remus and Sirius had moved into their own flat together in London. It was a smallish but homely little bachelor pad, always untidy. And so it was an incredible shock when Remus opened the door to him and Severus the next day. The entire hall was spotless. He blinked a few times in shock, then he remembered. "Evans has been making herself busy then?" he asked, laughing as he and Severus stepped inside. He had meant with cleaning, for the flat was spotless. Remus flushed darkly, however and James knew a lot more had been going on than cleaning.

Clearing his throat awkwardly, he lead Severus into the open-planned lounge-kitchen. Lily Evans was making pancakes in the kitchen while Sirius was sprawled in front of the television playing some muggle game on a machine. His Christmas present, apparently.

Lily turned around with a big smile on her face as she quickly finished the pancake she was doing and moved over to Snape. “Severus hi, how are you?” she asked putting an arm around his neck and hugging him. “And how is my little god daughter doing?” she asked patting his belly lovingly and Snape tried not to wince from the touch and worry her. He didn’t think she would want to hear that a lot of dangerous potions had fallen on him and put him in the hospital.

“Oh we are both doing alright” he said trying to make the lie sound true, but Remus raised a brow having watched Snape but chose to shrug it off to his imagination.

They were steered towards the settee, where Sirius was intent on the muggle racing game he was playing. He leant slightly to the side as the virtual car he was driving veered into an oncoming car. Sirius was entranced, his thumbs moving frantically on the controller.

James, who had known Sirius to be enthralled by video games, just sat back into the couch, one arm leaning along the back of it, and so close to Severus, almost protectively. Lily was back in the kitchen, preparing a meal and Remus took a seat on the over-large bean bag beside the television. 

"Did you have a nice Christmas?" James asked Remus, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. The werewolf blushed and he knew immediately that his suspicions regarding him and Evans were correct.

“Yes it was very…enjoyable” he said choosing his words carefully and Lily gave a blush from the kitchen but not turning her gaze away from her cooking.

“And I lasted all of about 10 minutes in my mothers mouths listening to her complain about everything under the sun and more. I swear if she wasn’t complaining she would die” he said as his car gave a screech and he collided with an on coming bus.

Remus gave a smile before looking to James and Severus. “And how was your Christmas? Get up to anything good while you’ve been how?” he asked with a smile and two things popped into Snape’s head. He and James had had sex and he had been in the hospital…and had some fun there to his mind added.

"We're alright, ran into Malfoy while we were in Diagon Alley but he soon scarpered," James said lightly. They had to say something, but as the shopkeeper was the only one who had witnessed it and he was now under oath of silence, no one should know the severity of what nearly happened to Severus in there. He grit his teeth, wondering what he would do when he saw Malfoy again.

"Mum and Dad gave us some great bits for the baby," he said. "She's going to be a spoiled little madam."

“I’m still going to laugh if it’s a boy” Severus said in a murmured voice and a small grin before looting around the decorated room and feeling Lily might have had a hand in the decorations.

“It wont be long until you actually find out the sex of you baby now is it, are you both nervous to find out what you are having? Have you thought about names and thing yet?” Remus asked with a smile wanting to know if they had done what all expecting parents do and argued about appropriate names for the baby.

"It's a few weeks away yet, the next appointment. It's then that the signature is strong enough that magic doesn't have to pry too deeply for a gender," James said, excited at the thought. He just knew it was a girl though - he could feel it. He wanted to rest his hand on the swell of Severus' belly, but he was still tender there. That and he didn't know if Severus would appreciate it. Reaching down, testing the boundaries of their relationship in front of the others, he let his hand rest on the settee beside Severus' - almost touching.

Snape glanced down at the hand seeing that James had placed it so close to his own, he guessed that James missed being able to touch him after what happened and was feeling unsure if it was alright to touch him. Snape watched the hand for a few moments before giving it a gentle stroke with his little finger and leaving it resting on James’ hand.

“Okay everyone I made pancakes! Who wants some?” Lily asked beaming as she appeared with two large plates of pancakes and gave Sirius a small nudge with her foot. “And you can come off your game for a while to eat and I think you have strained your eyes enough for now.”

James felt reluctant to move away from Severus' touch. He lifted his eyes to Severus' smiling warmly and squeezed those fingers appreciatively, before getting to his feet. They all sat at the breakfast bar, where Lily levitated a substantial stock of pancakes and waffles onto plates, oozing with syrup and sugar. 

"I have chocolate chips too for those that haven't got enough sugar in their systems already," Lily chimed, putting the pot of said confectionery on the counter-top. "They melt just right on the top."

"I think I can feel my teeth rotting as I chew," Sirius mumbled without malice, grinning around a mouthful.

"Pig," Lily muttered. Remus and James laughed.

"That's the most I've seen you eat for weeks," James said quietly as Severus ploughed through his third pancake. "And last night, at Christmas Dinner, you ate loads then too. Are you feeling better? Morning sickness easing off?"

“I think so” he said turning to look at James. “I think the last time I was sick was the night I got to your house. That or is could be the baby is just complaining about how much I eat and is forcing me to eat more” he said with a slight giggle before popping another bit of pancake into his mouth.

“All that and I just really love the taste of Lily’s pancakes I’m sure she sneaks something into them to make them taste extra good” he smiled as his bangs fell out from behind his ear and he tried to blow it away.

Lily beamed, exultant at his praise. "Thanks Sev," she said. "I should teach Potter how to make them properly for you." She turned her gaze on James. "They taste better when made the muggle way."

"I'll make him whatever he wants," James replied, "he's having my baby, I need to do something in return." His eyes rolled into the back of his head with appreciation as he had another bite of pancake with a bit of waffle at the same time. "Not sure I can top these though. If there was a food alternative to an orgasm - this is it!"

Remus choked on his own mouthful then and Sirius laughed into his tea. 

"Sorry," James said sheepishly, "they're just really good. Have we got any plans for today?"

“Well I have some presents I want to give the pair of you when we are done eating” Lily said with a big grin. “Potter me and Remus picked out your present together and I really think you are going to love it” she said stifling a giggle as Snape raised his brow.

“It’s true you will James and don’t worry it’s not a jumper with a stag on it, although now that I think of it that would have been a great present to get you” Remus smiled.

“Oh Moony now you have ruined my surprise!” Sirius said with a barked laugh.

James laughed. "We got you something too," he said, gesturing to his robe pocket, where their gifts had been shrunk for easier transport. He ate another mouthful. "Maybe we can go see a muggle film this evening? I've never been to a cineemarr before," he mused.

Lily snorted. "It's a cinema, Potter," she corrected, then looked to Severus. "If you're up for it, Sev? Maybe we can find something nice and scary so we can watch Black and Potter wet themselves?"

“That sounds good to me” he laughed. “Someone will have to put a charm on my belly later then” he said with a smile before actually thinking out it, it they went to a movie Snape would have to leave half way though to put his ointment on and he couldn’t reach some places without James’ help. But at the same time he didn’t want to ruin James’ fun knowing how much he wanted to see a muggle movie.

“And I might have to excuse myself half way though, weak bladder and all that now” he said trying to give a laugh and not give away anything that might make them suspect anything was wrong.

James looked at Severus knowingly. "I'm sure we won't miss much on a quick loo break," he said, glad that the other man didn't seem too upset at the suggestion. He had always wanted to go and to be able to sit so close in the dark, it seemed so...intimate. His cheeks flushed slightly at the thought and he wolfed down another few mouthfuls of food to cover himself.

After pancakes and waffles they went back to the ridiculously oversized settee and exchanged gifts.

“Here this is from me and Remus” Lily smiled handing James a box and Snape looked at it with a raised brow as Lily and Remus gave small giggles next to each other. He watched as James opened the box and pulled out a black and green shirt with embroidered letters on the front reading ‘I’m in love my Slytherin guy’.

James, to his credit, grinned broadly despite his beet-red blush and tugged off his t-shirt with a flourish, pulling the gifted shirt on and holding his arms out proudly. "I'll wear this tonight if you insist," he laughed. Severus seemed more embarrassed by the gift than him. He pushed the presents out to their hosts that he and Severus had purchased before the horrible incident in Diagon Alley.

Sirius received a muggle remote control car that James had charmed to bark like a dog instead of rev whenever it sped across the room. Sirius was in tears of laughter when the little blue car cocked its rear wheel up against the back of the settee. It was a long while before things calmed down enough for Lily and Remus to open their gifts.

Lily smiled as she picked up her present and gave it a small shake but Snape had told James to charm it so it wouldn’t make any noise as he knew Lily loved to guess what she got by the sound. “I cant hear anything, and it’s pretty light” she said weigh it in her hand, she quickly gave up though and ripped off the colourful paper and lifting the lid from the box to show a beautiful red gown with gold trimmings and flowers trailing around the bottom of the skirt.

“It’s beautiful thank you both so much” she said standing and kissing them both on the cheek in thanks.

Remus tore away the wrappings on his own gift to fine a moonstone pendant hanging on an elaborate chain. There were runes engraved into the opalescent stone and they glistened with an ethereal glow as the light them. "It was Severus' idea," James said, "he knows a lot about things like this. The chain and pendant are charmed impervious to damage - nearly indestructible. Apparently the runes in combination with the moonstone, they make a soft of...charm or something. They help radically reduce the pain in your...transformation."

Remus looked at them both with misty eyes. "I..." he stared at them, momentarily lost for words. James knew what this meant. Every month, he suffered unbearable pain that did not get easier over time. This meant a lot to him. "Thank you. Thank you both. I really don't know what to say."

Silence fell. Lily patted Remus arm, caressing it softly through his shirt and then pushed Severus' present to him. The final gift. "Here, Sev. Merry Christmas."

Severus looked down at the box before picking it up and giving it a small rattle as Lily had down with her gift before opening it and looking inside. In the middle of the box sat what looked like a white arm band and he pulled it out.

“We hope you like it Sev. It reminds you about thing so you don’t forget and it changes colour depending on how important it is, white is not to important, blue is mildly important and red is ergent. It also tells the time and pulse and stuff so you can know if the baby is alright to” Lily beamed.

“I wasn’t sure what you would really need or what things you have so I thought this would be a good gift” Remus said watching Snape stare at the arm band.

“This is wonderful, thank you Remus” he said sliding it on. “I have been forgetting things a lot lately so this will really help” he said looking at the arm band on his wrist and seeing it was still white and there was nothing he had forgotten.

Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly as he reached for the box he had retrieved from somewhere. He offered it in such a way that Severus and James could both hold it. "It's for both of you," Sirius said gruffly, flushing a little. "Well, all three of you," he added pointedly. 

James blinked. Sirius had been gradually coming around to Severus' presence and the baby's existance, but this really was... He swallowed, hard. It had taken a lot for Sirius to do this, he couldn't help but appreciate that. "Padfoot," he said softly. "Thank you. We really appreciate it." He glanced to Severus, who looked dumbstruck, holding onto the gift box in shock.

“…um, thank you Black” he said looking at Sirius still not feeling sure about using his first name before looking down at the box and it actually looked like he had take time to wrap it nicely even going as far as to put a white ribbon around it. He almost didn’t want to open it looked so pristine.

“Why don’t you open this one James” he said looking at him before pulling off the white ribbon so James could get to the paper. 

James nodded, carefully tugging the bow open and parting the wrappings. From inside the box, he pulled a crisp fluffy white romper suit complete with little mitts and a hood with little puppy ears on. Stars were embroidered in gold across the back and at random intervals on the fabric. It was the softest thing James had ever touched. When he glanced up at Sirius, his friend was blushing darkest crimson.

It was such a sweet token, unlike Sirius that it rendered him speechless. Glancing back to the box, he saw a fluffy white toy dragon accompanied it.

Snape smiled as he picked up the little dragon plush and put it on his lap stroking it with a content smile. He had grown rather fond of soft toys as of late and he thought about the little white rabbit back at the Potter’s that was sitting on his bed waiting for him to go back.

“I think Severus has found something her he likes Padfoot” Remus said smiling at Sirius as Snape sat with a smile almost forgetting everyone in the room could see him.

Sirius gave an awkward smile, shifting in his seat. James set the onesie back in the box and clapped his friend on the shoulder affectionately. "Thanks mate," he said, all of his gratitude palpable in those words. "It means a lot."

Sirius nodded, downing the rest of his tea in a final swig. "Your friendship means a lot," he replied. "And your opinion matters too. I reckon you weren't exactly wrong when you said I was becoming a bully." He grit his teeth, casting a glance to Severus as he continued. "And I reckon that must mean you were right about Sna-Severus too. If you like him, I should make the effort too."

“Um…Severus your arm band has turned blue” Lily said pointing to it and Snape snapped out of his stroking of the dragon and looked at it before raising a brow and looking at what was written there.

‘Put on ointment’ it read. Snape looked at confused surly it was wrong, James had put on his last lot not that long ago but now looking at the time in the corner it showed that they had been there for already for 4 hours since they had left the house that morning and he hadn’t realized how fast the time had gone and he showed his wrist band to James so he could read it.

James gave a small nod and rose from where he sat. "Be right back," he said smiling, "You lot pick a film for us to go see and then we can leave in a bit." That would be enough time for them to see the film and then get home before it needed to be reapplied. Lily shared a look with Severus, seeming to realise that whatever reason they wanted to pop to the bathroom together, it wasn't up for discussion. She gave Sirius a forceful look and both he and Remus also said nothing.

In Sirius and Remus' cramped bathroom, Severus had to sit on the closed toilet lid while James knelt on the tiled floor, pulling the familiar, unbreakable jar from his robe pocket. "Shirt up," he said brightly. Severus seemed so relaxed since yesterday, it was nice to see him this way.

Snape gave a nod as lifted up his shirt allowing James to apply the cream to his skin. “Sorry I always make you do this for me, but I can’t reach everywhere on my own” he said looking at James and moving around a bit if James needed to reach somewhere.

“Um…James…Would it be alright…if” he said looking around feeling a bit nervous. “Would it be alright…if I start sleeping…in your bed again tomorrow” he asked looking at him with a small blush.

James lifted his eyes slowly, his hands pausing, hovering over Severus' thighs. He swallowed nervously. He never recalled feeling so nervous so often before this all began, perhaps it was just Severus that brought it out in him. He was aware of how eager his too-bright eyes must've looked and flushed.

"I'd like that," he breathed, not sexually, not at all, but with a tone full of emotion.

“My skin shouldn’t be to sensitive by tomorrow night so I should be alright being in bed with you again” he said with a small blush glancing away from James and knowing he would be happy to have him back in his head knowing James’ never seemed to sleep as well anymore without having him there. The feeling had become too familiar for him.

"I don't sleep as well when you're not there," James said softly. Severus had made a trusting admission, after all at cost to his pride. It was only right James return that trust with the same. "I feel all on edge and unsettled." The skin on Severus' thighs were pale pink now, the same as his belly and hands (which they had cast a glamour over so Lily and the others would not see). In a day or two the skin would be completely healed and then they would only have to worry about the potential damage to the baby.

James didn't want to think about that.

Caressing that slightly rounded abdomen with the salve, he smiled. "I can't wait until she starts moving."

“Yes. Then she can start kicking you in the back at night” he said with a smile he said giving his belly a single stroke before quickly moving it away again as James caught the action and Snape went about looking around the room as if he had been doing nothing but just sitting there.

James smiled privately, finishing covering Severus' belly, then his hands, before straightening up. He washed his own hands in the sink before turning to face him. "Right. Who is picking the film then?" he asked, excited.

***

James was buoyant with joy as they collected their tickets and headed into the cinema. Sirius sat on the end, then Remus, then Lily, then Severus, then James. James tried not to grin at the knowledge that he'd gotten his wish and was sitting beside Severus in the intimate darkness. When the lights when down and the adverts began, he felt a prickle of excitement and brushed his knuckles gently against the side of Severus' belly. It looked flat, thanks to the glamour, but felt slightly rounded as always.

He grinned as Severus glanced at him.

Snape gave a small bush that was visible in the light from the large screen and he slowly moved his leg so that his knee touched James’ and he moved to take off his jumper feeling very warm with it on leaving his hair messed up.

He let out small laughs as some of the adverts came up before blushing at one that talked about protection during sex and he turned bright red until it ended and the opening for the movie began.

James was enthralled by the sheer unbelievable madness that ensued on screen. Oh, he'd heard of Count Dracula (the real man himself) and also of Stoker's telling of it, but seeing a muggle's take on it had him riveted to his seat. The film had just as many sexual and horrific undertones - gore and haunting pictures of wolves and...

Yes. He was enjoying himself. The situation was made all the more exciting by the fact that Severus was sitting closer and closer. He glanced at Severus. It wasn't what Evans had explained to be a 'horror' and Severus didn't look scared exactly but he certainly looked uneasy. James frowned. He'd wanted Severus to enjoy himself too - like a date, almost. 

There arms were interlocked on the arm of the seat and he squeezed gently. "You alright?" he whispered.

Severus gave a nod. “Yes, I’m alright” he said looking at him before moving to rest his head on James’ shoulder and nuzzled it slightly to get comfortable before looking at the screen.

“I’m not really used to seeing these kinds of movies that’s all” he whispered before jumping with half the people in the cinema and giving a blush not believe he had just done so. 

James chuckled good-naturedly, sliding his hand a little more firmly round Severus' arm and carefully entwining their fingers. If he was gentle, it wouldn't hurt Severus. It felt nice, like a proper date, holding hands and snuggling in the cinema. He thanked the darkness for hiding his blush and rested his cheek slightly on Severus' head. It felt nice, normal, safe.

Warmth rose in his belly unbidden - not sexual but something completely foreign to him. He swallowed, his throat and mouth suddenly dry and massaged the uninjured tips of Severus' fingers with his thumb.

"I like this," he said, gesturing to their position and joined hands.

“What? Sitting and watching a movie in the dark while you hold my hand?” he whispered not looking at James from his shoulder as he continued to watch the movie. He had to admit to himself though that it was nice having James so close and holding onto his hand making him feel safe.

"Yes," James breathed, turning his head a little more so that he was staring straight into Severus' face. Those dark eyes glinted with the light of the cinema screen. It seemed so intimate, so warm...

"I like being close to you," he admitted, "however you let me."

Severus looked up at James before giving a small blush. “You dummy don’t go getting all weird” he said glancing away from him his cheeks still tinged pink. “Besides I let you sleep in my bed at Hogwarts 4 times a week how much closer could you possibly want to be?” he said taking a small sip of his drink. 

James smiled wistfully, leaning his cheek against Severus' hair again. "Always just a bit closer," he murmured.

The film was good. Van Helsing was probably James' favourite, eccentric and strong. He didn't much care for the tragic ending, it left a bad taste in his mouth. The cinema experience was definitely one to be repeated though - he even got Severus to 'sort of' agree to take him to see what Evans had called an 'Action Movie'.

It was outside the cinema that they bid their friends goodbye. James clumped Remus and Sirius on the back while Severus hugged (or, more accurately was hugged by Evans). He winced himself when Evans seemed to squeeze Severus a little too tightly, but it was soon over and he didn't want to worry her. Severus had wanted to keep quiet after all about the 'accident'. Evans even gave him a small hug and then Remus and Sirius offered Severus a small nod of understanding. 

With a promise they'd see each other in school, Evans, Sirius and Remus began the walk back to the flat while James and Severus walked to the apparition point. Severus was strangely quiet all the way home. Even through dinner at the table he only said the smallest of phrases. It wasn't until they were alone outside Severus' bedroom door that James finally asked, "are you alright?" He wondered if perhaps the intimacy of the 'date like' experience had unsettled him, he seemed very odd when earlier he'd been so happy.

"Still want to sleep with me?" he asked.

“Maybe tomorrow James” he said looking at him and giving a small smile. “Thank you, for taking me out today it was really nice” he said opening the door to his room before turning back to James.

“I’m really fine, I guess I’m just tired is all. It was a really long day and it just took a lot out of me I’ll be fine by the morning” he said brushing a finger along James’ hand to show he was alright in his own small way.

James smiled, though he wondered what had happened in the last few hours for Severus to change his mind about sharing his bed. Or had Severus meant it in a more literal sense earlier? And now that he was tired he didn't want to? Or perhaps Severus just didn't sleep well in the same bed as him? From experience, he didn't think so - Severus always slept soundly beside him. 

Not wanting to push the issue, however, he merely nodded and leant down, pressing a small kiss to the bump. They'd applied the salve in the bathroom before they'd headed here for bed and he thought by this time tomorrow night the marks would be completely gone. "Night baby," he said to Severus' belly, before straightening up again. "Night, Sev," he murmured. Their mouths were close this way, he could almost lean in for a goodnight kiss but didn't dare. Severus had to make that move, if he wanted it.

Severus watched James seeing him so close and wondered if he would lean in and kiss him or maybe he was waiting for him to do that. “…goodnight, James” he said looking at him and chewing his bottom lip for a second before leaning up and placing a quick kiss on James’ lips before backing up into his room.

“I…I’ll see you in the morning then…sleep well” he said standing in the door way to his room just watching James as he stood there staring at him.

"Feel free to pop in if you change your mind," James said brightly, smiling that same boyish smile before disappearing into his own room. He left the door ajar in invitation.

***

Abigail Potter found it hard to sleep at times. There were days when her bones just ached, groaned with every movement as if they had been tenderised like slabs of meat. Tonight was one of those nights and she yawned widely as she ambled in her slippers and dressing gown down to the kitchen to make some hot milk - she didn't like to wake Nibbles for such a trifle, she was getting on in years herself. It was quite gone midnight.

On her way back up, milk in hand, however, she was stopped by the sight of the elf herself flying towards her. "Mistress!" Nibbles gasped, not wanting to shout lest she wake the others but obviously distressed. 

"Oh, Nibbles, what's the matter?" Mrs Potter asked softly, mug of milk in one hand, the other patting the family elf gently on the head. "Are you quite-?"

"It's being Master James' guest! Come quickly!" Nibbles spluttered, tugging on the proffered hand, leading Mrs Potter to the guest bedroom. "I is trying to calm him but something is in there with him, Mistress. A nasty boggart!"

Still a little dazed from lack of sleep, it took Mrs Potter a moment to process these words. So much so that as she stepped into the spare bedroom, the sight she saw there stunned her. The mug of hot milk fell to the floor with a crash.

Looking over Snape stood a tall dark haired man a thick leather belt held in his hands and upon the floor tided to one of the bed posts was Severus shaking widely his mouth covered with duck tape to stop him screaming out the back of his night shirt torn to ribbon. Fresh wound’s could be seen of his old ones and some were bleeding leaving what was let of his shirt red as the boggart taking the shape of Severus’ father raised the belt again hitting him with a crack across his back and Severus let out a muffled scream, tears running down his cheeks as the man laughed. 

"No!" Mrs Potter cried and with speed she hadn't achieved in years, she shot forwards, drawing her wand from her dressing gown pocket. "Riddikulus!" she chanted and with a pop, the tall dark-haired boggart shifted into a whoopie cushion that made obscene, vulgar noises as it zoomed across the room - back into the closet. She cursed and she locked the door with a quick spell. They had been sure to clean and air the room out before Severus' arrival too - how had a Boggart got in there?

She flew towards Severus, beginning to untie the bindings. "There, there, it's alright," she whispered.

Severus struggled trying to get away from her before being untied and backing away into a corner of the room and pulling his knees up to his chest (or at least as far as they would go) as he took sharp quickly breaths as he looked around the room expecting his father to jump back out again.

His back ached with the thought of every crack of the belt he had just felt and his eyes fell on misses Potter still kneeling at the end of his bed where she had untied him. “Stay away from me…stay away.” He said shaking violently as he continued to take panicked breaths. 

"Severus, dear," she said softly, kneeling down onto his level so she wouldn't tower over him, so her face was level with his. "It's alright - it was just a boggart, darling. It must have snuck in here while you were out today. I'll have Allan get rid of it in the morning." Her rambling seemed to help, her distinctly feminine voice helping Severus to realise that it couldn't be the man (boggart) before him.

Abigail Potter smiled sadly. "Nibbles, get Severus some warm milk and a dash of calming draught in it - two drops is perfectly safe for the baby." The elf nodded frantically and vanished to complete her task, leaving Mrs Potter alone. She didn't dare touch the young man, but did reach out, patiently watching him slowly come to terms with the fact that her frail hand did not belong to the man the boggart had taken the shape of.

"It's alright, dear," she said again gently, "you're not alone. I'm here." She knew nothing of Severus' home life, but she realised then that no one, no woman, no mother or otherwise had ever said that to him, had ever reassured him, because her words seemed to pierce him where he was most vulnerable.

Severus looked at the offered hand before tears ran down his cheeks, he lowered his head to her hand and gentle touched his cheek to it. Her hand was soft a lot softer than her was expecting and somehow it made him feel calmer, she had come and rescued him when he needed help the most.

Severus closed his eyes as he nuzzled into her hand gently before moving to have her stroke his hair. He wasn’t used to having something that resembled to him motherly affection and he moved to rest his head very hesitantly on her lap and curling up on himself feeling her very gently stroke his hair, he had always hoped his own mother would have done this when he was very small but it never happened but feeling it now made him feel somehow very safe.

"Sssh," Mrs Potter whispered soothingly, caressing his arms up and down slowly, petting his hair. "My dear boy, you're alright. It was just a boggart, nothing can hurt you." She sat on her knees with him for a few moments before urging him up onto the bed again. "I can turn down one of the other beds for you? Or perhaps you'd like to go in with James?" she asked quietly.

"Severus, who was that man that the boggart became for you?"

Severus looked at her with scared eyes his hands shaking. “That was…that was my father” he said quietly not able to bring himself to look at Mrs Potter feeling ashamed that he had been seen in such a way.

Mrs Potter regarded him carefully for a moment, completely still. The boy's wariness around her husband, his odd relationship with James that he seemed too afraid to delve any deeper into. It made sense. Smiling sadly, she smoothed his hair back gently behind his ears. "He can't hurt you anymore, dear," she promised, then, after holding his gaze for a moment, she pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

"Now, Nibbles has fetched you some hot milk to calm you down," as she spoke, the said mug appeared, floating over to her hand of its own volition. She tucked it into Severus' shaking hands and held her own around his to steady it. "It has a few drops of calming solution. Perfectly safe, it will help you. I used to smear a drop on James' gums when he was a tot."

Severus gave a small smile as he looked down at his warm milk taking a few mouthfuls. “…thank you…for this” he said quietly as his thumbs traced around the brim of the cup.

“And…and for…for just now as well” he said glancing over at the cupboard and not liking the though of the boggart still being in there just waiting for the door to open again. “I don’t think I want to stay in here anymore tonight.”

Mrs Potter nodded, patting his knee in a soft, motherly way. Her little round face was illuminated from the light from the hall. "Of course," she said. "James sleeps like a hippogriff under the Draught of Living Death, if you slide in with him he won't even wake," she assured him, guessing he wouldn't want to talk about what had happened here with her son. Severus seemed like such a proud young man, after all.

"My son loves you very much," she said quietly. "I've never seen him so smitten or dedicated to a single person. So...greedy for a single person's attention. He has always wanted to be surrounded by crowds of people - he always hated being an only child, you see. But with you...it's as if he wants the rest of the world to fall away around you both."

“But I don’t want that life for him” he said quietly but he could see that Mrs Potter had heard his words. “Don’t get me wrong you have a wonderful son and you should be very proud of him…but…I feel like he could do better…should get better and have a big family like I’m sure he would want. But I cant give him something like that and I’m really know good for him, I don’t even know how I feel about him” he said with a sigh placing his empty cup on the side.

“James can do better and I know how much he loves this baby already, but I don’t want him to think about having a life with a slytherin that is as messed up and scared as I am.”

"We're all a little messed up, dear," she murmured. "My boy isn't perfect, nobody is. And I am sure if you ask him, what he wants right now more than a big family, more than anything is you and his baby alive and enjoying life with him." She squeezed his knee gently. "I know things have been...rocky, with you two. A few months cannot change that, but I hope whatever happens you can both be happy."

Rising slowly to her feet then, she kissed Severus' forehead. "And you can come to me if you need to talk, or listen, perhaps even just sit in understanding silence. I know your darkest fear, after all and," she gestured with a sad smile to her aged face, "you know mine. James said that he told you." She looked so vulnerable, tired and sad in the dimness.

“Yes…he did. But I think that was wonderful what you did” he said looking into eyes “Loving someone so much that the thought of living without them or being apart from each other and that you would give a part of your life so he would be there…I think that’s nice” Severus said quietly before looking down at his bump and giving it a few gentle strokes.

“It would be nice if everyone could have someone like that in there lives.” 

"Allen always curses me for doing it," she said wistfully, still smiling, "he says that if I hadn't shared the curse, then James might still have at least one parent in a few years time." She glanced toward the door, clearly staring at James' bedroom door across the hall. "I wish I could live longer to see my boy become a man, see my grandchild," she said, gesturing to Severus' stomach. "But this way my boy grew up with both his parents, loved and wanting for nothing. I don't think there is anything I can regret in that."

She reached out then, giving Severus a moment to show or even say that her touch was unwelcome. When he just watched her, she brushed her palm across his stomach gently. "We will live to see her born at any rate," she whispered quietly, awe-struck it seemed. "Maybe even a first or second birthday. If James is right and she is a girl, after all." She beamed. "I would've loved a girl."

“…would having a granddaughter be okay?” he asked giving Mrs Potter a small smile. “And you can buy her all the dress and things you want, I’m sure she will love you very much. You’ll be her one and only granny.” He said as he looked at his stomach hoping that she would get to see the baby born and get to spend time with it.

"Healthy would be more than enough," she said brightly, walking with him to the door. "Slip into bed with James, it'll be alright, this can stay between us." She shut the door to the spare room behind them and patted Severus' shoulder. "Or would you prefer I make up a spare bed for you?”

Severus shook his head. “No I will be alright with James, you just get to bed and get yourself some rest” he said giving her a small smile. “And…you can tell him…but just not while I’m there if that’s okay. I shouldn’t keep things from him but I don’t think I can tell him myself” he said glancing away to look at the door to James’ room.

Mrs Potter just gave him a nod. "Goodnight, my boy."

***

James was suspended in a state of half-slumber. He felt uneasy, unsettled. He'd spent so much time tossing and turning trying to get to sleep but that had only served to send him into a sleep that felt troubled somehow. He never slept well when he slept alone, lately, the absence of Severus' warmth beside him was unnerving.

When he slept soundly, a stampede of centaurs couldn't awaken him. Perhaps it was because he was tossing and turning that caused him to be sensitive to movement, however, because he blinked awake in the dimness, seeing that the side lamp had been turned on and the covers had been pulled back. Severus was lowering himself into the side of the bed that James had left vacant for him in hope.

"Sev?" he mumbled sleepily. "You a'right?"

Severus gave a small nod as he moved under the covers and up against James hiding his face in his chest. “…I was just lonely” he murmured. “I don’t want to stay in that room alone anymore” hesitantly he put his arms around James before holding onto him tightly being as close to him as he could get feeling safest in his arms.

James pulled one arm around Severus. He blinked at the side lamp. When he reached for it, however, Severus tensed. That was enough of a signal that, for whatever reason, he preferred the lamp on. James rested back in the sheets, smoothing his hand down Severus' back, slow and gentle. 

Rather than tense, the man seemed to tentatively arch back into the comforting touch, greedy for more.

I'm the only one he lets touch his back, James realised, resting his chin on Severus' head.

“Sorry. If I woke you” he said quietly shutting his eyes and just enjoying the feel of James’ gentle stokes on his back. James was the only one he felt safe with he realized and he gave a small smile glad to have him so close.

Severus tilted his head up to look at James before leaning up and kissing him gentle on him lips and for longer than the kiss they had had in the corridor that night. “Sorry again if I woke…goodnight.” He smiled before settle back down under James’ chin and closing his eyes and he breathed in James’ comforting scent and the heat of his body.

James nuzzled closer, breathing easier now. Severus' belly was resting against him and he liked it, thinking forward a few months to when he might be able to feel their daughter move within. "I don't sleep well without you," he admitted, "so I'm glad you did wake me." He sighed contentedly. "This is good, he breathed and his own eyes fluttered shut.

A small knock could be heard on James’ door the next morning as Mrs Potter stuck her head around the door looking into her son’s room. James was sitting up in bed reaching a book of the worlds greatest quidditch games and he was stroking Severus’ hair lightly as he slept next to him having had an uneasy night.

“James, could I talk to you dear?” she asked making a hand gesture to tell him to come into the hall.

James nodded, flushing slightly at being caught in such an intimate setting. Creeping out of bed quietly so as not to wake Severus, he walked out into the hall wearing only his pyjama bottoms. "Everything alright?" James asked as he shut the door quietly behind him. He stared at his mother as they stood in the hall. She looked tired today, that meant she hadn't slept well. 

"Are you ok?"

“Yes I’m alright dear” she said giving James a reassuring smile as she held her dressing gown around herself and took a deep breath bracing herself for what she was about to say.

“Last night…something happened in Severus room” she started slowly as she watched James seeing a flicker of worry in his eyes. “Somehow now I don’t know how but a boggart got into his room…and he let it out by accident I’m guessing. But it changed into a very tall man, Nibbles found me and told me something was happen when I got there…the things I saw” she said as her eyes watered and placed her hand over her mouth as the memories of the previous night lay fresh in her memories.

James swallowed, his mouth and lips dry as he stared at his mother in horror. "You saw his father," he whispered, his voice hoarse with worry. "The boggart became his dad - it made Severus think he was there torturing him again didn't it?" His mother said nothing but her expression said it all. She was obviously surprised that he'd got it in one. 

It probably wasn't clear how well he knew Severus except in moments like these - not to others anyway.

He glanced back to his own bedroom door. "Was he alright?" He frowned. "He didn't seem upset when he got into bed last night."

“He was very jumpy he wouldn’t let me touching him for a while and he backed into a corner of his room after I untied his from his bed” she said looking at James. “And I gave him a calming draft before he went to your room so he was relaxed. But he defiantly didn’t want to be left alone again.” 

James nodded, he stared at the door to the room Severus had stayed in the night before. "Dad got rid of the boggart this morning?" His mother nodded in answer and James relaxed a fraction. In truth, the thought of Severus going back into that room where he had suffered even super-imposed torment made him cringe.

"He says he wants to sleep with me, so that's fine," he said after a moment.

“He was so scared last night James” she said “But I understand now why he is so jumpy around me and your father if he grew up expecting things like that to happen to him.”

Mrs Potter smiled as she stroked her son’s cheek. “He has a lot of trust in you James, more than I’m sure he has ever given anyone. I know you will keep that boy safe” she said with a warm smile kissing his cheek.

"Even when he doesn't want me to," James said with a small smile. He reached for the door handle. "Thanks Mum, I s'pose I'd better talk to him, make sure he's really alright and not just...suppressing it." He kissed his mother on the cheek. "Get Nibbles to sent some toast and jam up? Might be nice for him to have breakfast in bed." He smiled softly, then stepped back into the room. Severus was awake and staring around as if looking for where he'd got to as he shut the door behind him.

"Sorry," James said. "I didn't leave you for long - just a second."

Severus blinking a few times obviously still trying to wake up as he looked at James. “It’s okay, I just woke up” he said with a yawn before lying back down on his side against and nuzzling one of the big fluffy pillows. “Where did you go anyway?” he asked looking at James as he climbed back into bed next to him.

James inhaled deeply, preparing for what he was about to say. He reached out and interlocked his fingers with Severus' atop the sheets. "Mum told me about last night," he murmured. He watched Severus' expression tighten. James loathed to be the one to cause that expression but they needed to talk about this, Severus needed to talk about it so he could move on.

“It…it was nothing” he said looking away from James not wanting to talk about what happened last night but he felt James’ hand give his a gentle squeeze. “It was just a boggart and nothing for you to worry yourself over, I’m just fine” he said trying to sound like his calm normal self.

James squeezed his hand back. "You haven't talked about your dad since you signed that paper in Dumbledore's office," he said softly. "If the boggart became him, such a strong impression of him, then you must still fear him a great deal." James put his other hand on top of their joined ones. "He can't hurt you anymore, Severus. He's gone, rotting in a muggle prison with no idea why. He could pass you in the street and not recognise you. You're safe now."

“I know that” he said looking at James and sitting up. “But you have to think I have been abused by my father since I was 6 years old…things like that you don’t forget. They leave more than just physical scars on the body” he said sadly drawing his knees up.

“My father will always be the monster hiding under the bed. I know he’s gone forever but…” he tailed of as his hold on James hand tightened slightly. “You cant erase your deepest fear.” 

James smiled sadly. "I know," he breathed and leant closer so that his head was resting on Severus'. He breathed him in deeply before he spoke again. "But whether it's physical or emotional, I'm here," he whispered. "The more you unload, the less there is inside to fester. And eventually, you will be so empty of him that he'll be nothing more than a bad memory." He punctuated his words by reaching around and caressing the small of Severus' back through his night shirt.

“James” he said in a small voice as his eyes watered and he leaned up and kissed him, in that moment there was nothing else but James, him and his kind loving words.

“I want to tell you everything some day…but I’m just not ready yet” he said looking into James’ warm brown eyes and lifting the hand he still had a hold of and kissing his knuckles.

"I can wait," James whispered, the sound trembling as those lips skimmed over his knuckles. It was unlike Severus to be so forward with intimacy and it made his belly quiver, warm and tingling. "Oh, Merlin," he panted, closing his eyes, cheeks burning. His hand slid up to caress Severus' back more and he felt the man squirm - but in pleasure. More pleasure than any of the people James had been with before at being touched there.

"Sensitive?" James breathed sexily.

Severus gave a blush and lowered his eyes. “Maybe…just a little bit” he said in a small voice as he lifted his head again letting out a hot breath against James’ lips as he rested his free hand on James’ chest before leasing in and kissing him deeply as his back gave a small arch to James’ hand as it travelled his back.

James groaned into that mouth, shuddering and pressing against Severus with embarrassingly thin restraint. He leant into the kiss, massaging those lips with his own and flicking his tongue inside, against the underside of Severus' until he could taste the man's answering cry.

"Your stomach and everything all healed?" he asked. He felt Severus nod into the kiss. "Then turn onto your belly for me."

Severus tilted his head at James’ request but did as he was asked lying carefully on his stomach even though the mattress moves to support his belly so the baby wouldn’t be squished. 

“What…what are you going to do to me?” he asked turning to look at his cock already embarrassingly hard beneath him as his night shirt was raised slightly from his moving showing his long thin legs and his bottom just showing from beneath the shirt. 

"Chase those memories away," James murmured, leaning down over Severus so that his mouth was against the man's ear. He licked the shell with his tongue, nipped with his teeth and nuzzled into his neck, kissing teasingly soft as he slowly edged the nightshirt up with his hands. His thumbs caressed the sensitive, trembling skin as he went, until the nightshirt was up under his chin by Severus' neck. He kissed his neck, then dipped beneath the bunched up shirt to caress a pale shoulder with his lips.

"Take your shirt off for me," he breathed.

Severus sat up slightly as he pulled his shirt off and left lying under him as pale body was put into full view for James to admire and Severus squirmed under his gaze wondering why James was just staring at him and wondering if something might have been wrong. “James…why are you just staring at me like that?” he asked looking at James with his piercing obsidian eyes.

James said nothing, only gestured for him to lay flat again on the bed. When he did, James dragged his lips across Severus' shoulder once more. "Tell me if I do something you don't like," he said, before dipping down, running his tongue along the first, darkest scar that cut across the bottom of Severus' shoulder blades. The man below him tensed and squirmed but with a groan of pleasure so intense that it made James' cock pulse. He moaned softly against the flesh, mouthing it hungrily, worshipping it with his lips and tongue - even grazing the sensitive ridges with his teeth gently.

At the same time, his hand slid round to cup Severus' prick where it lay trapped between the man's body and the mattress.

Severus gave a pleasured shudder as James’ hand reached around and touched him and his prick gave a small jerk in his hand. Severus moved his head to lie on the side of his pillow as he watched James (or as best he could) as he let out a shuddering breath before releasing a small hiss as James teeth grazed over one of the scars but he didn’t tell him to stop, the sensation was somehow over whelming to him.

“Why…why are you…touching my back so much? It can’t be nice…to look at” he breathed with his cheeks tinted pink. 

"It's beautiful," James breathed, punctuating his words by mouthing the next mark gently, tongue flickering between his lips to tease the sensitive skin. He squeezed the cock in his grasp firmly, stroking his hand up and down, thumb taunting the weeping slit. The softness of the sheets against his hand and Severus' hot cock was perfect. He parted his lips more as he kissed his way, inch by inch across the man's back, making love to it with his mouth.

Severus squirmed against the sheets as he felt James tongue travel the length of one of the scars and then kiss it at the end. He let out a moan jerked his hips up a slightly as James’ stroked him and he felt knew sensations he had never felt before running though him and he wondered if it was because someone was touching his back, or if it was because it was James touching it.

"You are sensitive," James moaned appreciatively, using the hand not caressing Severus' cock to coax him to kneel up, his arse in the air. James shifted so that he could still worship that back while the fingers of his free hand slid between his buttocks, circling that tight hole. "I like that," he muttered, between kisses. Severus was rocking back and forth into the ministrations of his tongue and hands alternately, flushing beautifully.

“You just like playing with me” he said before letting out a moan as James squeezed at the tip of his weeping cock as a small trail of pre-emission covered his hand and he slicked Severus cock with it. “Why…why do you like my back so much? Why do you want to touch it?” he asked, the breath he released coming out in shudders of excitement. 

"Because I'm the only person that you trust enough to touch it," James breathed, never ceasing the movements of his hands and mouth. He fumbled his wand for a second before his left hand continued teasing that quivering, furled opening with lubricant glazing his fingers this time. His forefinger danced across the tight ring, circling it a few times, pressing against the bud, savouring the way it twitched under his touch, then circling again. Over and over. The cock in his hand jumped and he grinded his own erection against Severus' leg as he worshipped him.

"Because you trust me so much that when I touch you here," he mouthed one of the deepest scars. Severus' cock pulsed and spat pre-emission over his fingers. "You feel the deepest pleasure, where before, you only knew pain. I want to touch you here, over and over until all you remember when you touch them is the pleasure I gave you."

Severus turned his head and looked at James and caught his eyes looking into them for what seemed like an eternity before breaking the contact and tuning his head to the side. “You can be so stupid sometimes” he said almost in a mocking tone as James grinned behind him as he kissed his shoulder blades and Severus gave a shudder.

"Oh, Sev, fuck," James panted, rocking into Severus' leg and flicking a finger over Severus' entrance a final time before sliding in. He felt that tight, slick heat suck him in, clench around him and he groaned, crooking his finger just right to tease that special place inside as he began to twist his wrist at the end of each stroke over that cock. Severus was trembling and thrusting against him now. His back was arching frantically under his mouth. He nuzzled against the flesh, before dipping down again. 

The worst of the scars lay across the small of Severus' back, there was a particularly nasty one at the centre of the pearlescent marks, this one still slightly pink. He winced, thinking of the belt buckle he had seen in Severus memories cause that. He would work up to that one. His tongue found the one beside it, the tip flicking back and forth vertically across each horizontal slash. Severus was utterly quivering now, yet he didn't turn his face away to smother his moaning, he was craning his neck to look at James. The sight was one of the most erotic James had seen in his life.

“Ah, fuck, James” Severus moaned as his tilted his hips to James’ invading finger and pushing against it as his body trembled with pleasure and he released hot shaky breaths and gripped at the sheets beneath him.

Severus’ back gave a small jolt as James kissed one of the deep scars lower on his back and let out a startled moan before moving his thighs more close together and giving James erection more friction on it as he moved feeling sliding between his thighs.

"You're so fucking sexy," James panted, jerking the prick in his grasp faster, harder, a second finger joining the first inside Severus and tormenting his prostate with hungry, purposeful brushes. "Come on, Sev, come for me, let yourself go. Come with my mouth on the place on your body you've been terrified of until now." He was thrusting his own hips, his cock sliding between Severus' clenched thighs, it made the angle awkward but well worth it, the tip of his cock nudging Severus' each time he pushed all the way against him. 

He sucked at the darkest scar then, the belt buckle one and released that erection as he felt it pulse in answer to his question. He wanted Severus to feel his prick burst without being touched, just by having his darkest scar manipulated by his mouth, by his affection. He wanted Severus to associate those scars with him, with pleasure from this moment on.

“No! No not that one!” he called feeling James touch and kiss the buckle scar on his back and his body trembled uncontrollably before his head jerked back an his back arched as he came gripping the sheets beneath him and his thighs and arse tightened around James and crying out loudly.

James groaned deeply as those thighs clenched around his own cock and shuddered, the entire body quivering with pleasure below him. He reached back round, milking Severus' cock of its spendings, squeezing gently until the last droplet oozed through his fingers. His other fingers were still slick inside Severus' arse, walls still clenching hungrily around him. He leant closely over that back, kissing Severus' ear gently as he whispered, "Ready for seconds?"

Severus let out the most erotic half pant, half gasp and James massaged his prostate gently, lubing his other hand up before he began stroking Severus' limp cock again. The slick, wet noises wet deliciously sinful. Severus had not yet gathered his breath from his last orgasm and yet was hardening again, not as fast, not as firm but definitely not completely soft as he'd been a second before. 

James rolled his own hips so that his cock grinded just right into those tight bollocks. "Ever come more than once in a row?" he murmured against the shell of that ear, tongue flickering against the shell. He would make sure that even if Severus truly did go his own way once the baby was born, that he would remember this, the sheer mind-blowing pleasure, the inescapable fact that he was worth it, attractive, desirable - so much so that James wanted to wrench more than one orgasm from him.

"How many times do you think I can make you come, Severus?" James breathed. When Severus only groaned feebly he tugged gently on the tight line of skin just under his swollen, pink cock head. "Tell me."

“I…I don’t know” he said in panting breaths trying to stay up on his shaky arms his body still reeling from the last orgasm as James stroked him. “I…I don’t know if I can take it” he said looking back at James but even with his words his hips started to move against James.

"You can take it," James promised huskily, rocking against Severus so his chest and belly caressed those scars he'd just teased to hypersensitivity. "It's more intense if you come again before the afterglow of the last one fades." He slid a third finger inside that still quivering body, opening him up. It was so pink and hot he thought he'd come right there. 

The pot of lube he'd summoned as they'd been starting still sat nearby. He slathered more on Severus' cock and arse then urged Severus onto his back without removing his fingers from that softening hole. With Severus splayed on the sheets on his back, legs open, James reached for his cock again. The flush of orgasm was still in Severus' cheeks, across his chest, splatters of come across his belly. James bent his head and lapped it up, smirking when the man below him gasped. He dipped his tongue into that belly button, the leisurely motions of his hand on Severus' cock making slick embarrassing noises.

"Tug on your nipples for me while I watch," James murmured sexily, twisting his wrist just right on Severus' cock, three fingers gliding over his prostate so that those hips rolled up with the motion. "I know it's intense, almost scarily intense, right? But it'll feel so good when you come this time. Trust me, you'll never have another orgasm like it..."

Severus blushed bright red at the thought of touching himself anywhere in front of James and here he was asking him to touch his nipples the thought seemed so sexual that Severus couldn’t help but raise his hands and slowly glide them over his nipples before taking them between his fingers and gently pulling and twist them as he raised his knees.

He heard James let out an excited gasp over him as he watched and Severus looked up at him. “L-like this?” he asked as his body shuddered and he let out a moan as he raised his hips.

James' own cock pulsed at the sight. He rewarded Severus by flicking his navel gently with his tongue again and beginning to fuck him with three fingers instead of just molesting his prostate, nudging it firmly with every thrust of his hand. He nuzzled that slightly rounded belly and dipped his head lower, tugging the smattering of hair around Severus' cock with his lips. He felt pre-come dribble from the erection just under his chin and trickle down his hand as he stroked.

"Mmmm, yes, that's right, pinch them between your fingers and flick the tips," He mouthed the apex of Severus' thigh, just at the juncture of his groin and felt him quiver.

Severus panted heatedly as he did as he was told and touched the tips of his nipples with his fingers and circled them let out moans. “J-James please…stop teasing me” he breathes as his hips raised off the bed a few times. “I cant…I cant take it I feel like I’m going to go crazy” he breathed, he also felt he might pass out from it all but he had a feeling he wouldn’t as he tugged on one of his tipples leaving pink and erect.

James chuckled softly, sitting up slightly and pulling the fingers inside Severus to one side so that he could watch that entrance twitch in desire for more. "You look a little empty," he muttered salaciously, withdrawing his fingers with a wet slurp. The excessive amount of lube he'd used made that loosened ring glisten. Still caressing the man's length, he guided his own to that hungry little orifice.

"Mmmm, do you want me in you when you come this time, Sev?"

Severus’ cheeks tinged pink as he turned his head away. “Y-yes…I…I want you inside…when I come” he said quietly embarrassed by the words he had just spoken but seeing that they had pleased James out of the corner of his eye. “So…please” he said lifting his legs and wrapping them around James pulling him in a little closer.

It was more arousing than anything to hear and see Severus participating more than ever before. He was arching his hips into his hand and pushing back into James' hips as if searching for his cock. James leant down, sliding their lips together briefly before guiding his cock to that hungry little hole. It was wet and softened by their previous lovemaking and he groaned in sheer bliss as he sank in with one long slow movement. "Fuck," he panted, hastening his strokes over Severus' prick. He wouldn't last much longer.

“No...ah…don’t do that or you make me…” he panted touching James hand trying to slow down his strokes as he arched his hips up to James and pulled him in even close with his legs as leaned up brushing his lips against James’ before kissing him deeply and pulling his arms around him pulling him down closer onto the bed as he jerked his hips and moaned into the kiss.

James rolled his hips, hard fast into the body below. Severus rocked back into him with frantic desire, his hand flying down to where James' was wrapped around his cock, so that they were both jerking him off with frenzied, wet thrusts. James groaned, savaging his mouth until they were swollen and then dipped down, grazing that jaw and neck with his lips and teeth. His own balls were tight and ready to explode.

"Mmmm fuck," he growled against Severus' neck, the noise of their bodies connecting again and again ringing through the room as they both moved faster.

“Mmmm James!” he cried out gripping at the sheets with his free hand as his hips rocked and jerked up against James’ thrusts. “James I…I cant take it…I feel so dizzy” he panted tightening his hold around James’ waist with his legs, feeling like he was going crazy with every little move and touch on his burning skin.

"Mmm that's it," James practically purred against him, claiming his mouth again, relishing in the taste of those gasps over his tongue. He was so close and so was Severus, he could feel it in the way those sensitised walls clenched around him. "This will be the most intense orgasm you've ever had," he promised. He was twisting his wrist in that way again, fingers tormenting the head of Severus' erection just right with each upward motion. It was so intense that Severus' fingers had abandoned his cock and were wrapped around his wrist now as if afraid he would stop.

"Let me come in you?" James asked, his voice breathless and piqued.

“Yes…yes!” Severus shuddered as he panted desperately for breath he wasn’t sure how much longer he could take it his body felt out of control as he writhed against the sheets letting out moans of delight.

“J-James I cant hols it…it can’t…everything’s spinning” he moaned jerking his hips up to James’ body. “I can’t…”

James crashed their lips together once more, then wrapped his free arm around Severus, rolling backward. He landed splayed on his back on the bed with Severus on top, never having broken the contact of their bodies. His hand was drenched with lube and shaking now as he fisted Severus desperately, while the other urged Severus faster, harder up and down over his own cock. So close, he was so close.

"Come on, Severus," he gasped, eyes lidded with arousal and utmost devotion as he stared up at the man above him - both of them poised on the point of orgasm. "Ride my fucking cock, take everything, take it." With that, he shoved his hips hard upward and spilled himself into Severus' body.

Severus gave a startled moan as James slammed up into him and hearing there bodies connect while James’ pumped at Severus’ cock before squeezing it tighter with the strokes and pushing Severus over the edge. “James!” he cried as he came again for the second time spilling his seed onto his and James’ stomachs and onto James’ hand before falling forward onto him and panting desperately as the room span around him.

James wiped his hand off on the sheets crudely and wrapped his arms around Severus, holding their heaving, panting bodies together as they both spiralled down from oblivion. "Love being with you," James mumbled into his hair. "You were amazing. Intense, like I said, right?"

“Y-yes” he breathed against James’ chest. “Nice to know…that want happened to me last night…drove you to want to have sex with me” he said moving his head so his chin was resting on James’ chest and he was looking up at him.

James, the delight from the afterglow gone from his face, stared down at Severus. "This wasn't about what I wanted," he said seriously. he frowned. He really thought Severus had realised that. His mouth suddenly felt dry and throat tight. He ran his hand down Severus' back gently. "It's about helping you forget what that arsehole did to you. It's about making you feel pleasure you should've been having long before me. It's about you associating touch, even touch on your back with affection and pleasure, not pain."

Holding those dark eyes with his own, he caresses one of the worst scars with his fingertips. "When I touch them, you think of how good it felt, how hard your cock got when it was touched before, don't you?"

“I don’t want to hear that” he said with his cheeks tinged pink as he turned his head to the side again resting his cheek on James’ cheek and hearing his heartbeat still a little rapping from the after math of there orgasm.

“Besides…I will never let anyone touch my back. They had to work hard to gain that sort of trust in me so feeling thing like that…don’t matter” he said quietly before tilting his head up slightly to look at James.

James sighed. "It's not about your back," he said, "and it's not about how much I want you, Severus. It's about putting Him behind you, getting over what he did to you step by step. Associating the things he's left behind in you with new, better things will help." He smiled softly. "You're already so much stronger, so much happier. It's only been a few months. Imagine how much better you will feel in a year? In two?"

When Severus said nothing, James let his lashes flutter shut and craned his neck to bring their lips together softly.

Severus closed his eyes kissing him gently for a second before pulling back and sitting up on James. “Who says you will even know me in 2 years?” he asked looking at him. “We would have finished school and would have gone are own separate ways by then. You will be a father…and me…” he said not really sure what his future would hold if Voldermort ever got a hold of him and he turned his head away from James.

Ignoring the pang of hurt that lanced his chest at those words, James ploughed on. "Whether you want to leave me once the baby is born or not, I want you to be happy, healthy. I want you to live the life you want, untainted by your father." He reached up and cupped Severus' cheeks, as if that would help him to understand. "I want to do whatever I can in the time that I have with you to help with that, because I care about you, alright?"

“I know that I mean you have to with everything that you’ve done and put up with in the last few months” he said turning his head to James and leaning into his hand slightly before pulling away from it.

“Well…I think it would be best if I took a bath and cleaned off all…this” he said gesturing to his stomach and anywhere else he sound see his come before he climbed off James’ lap and sat on the edge of the bed letting out a sigh. 

James took a moment to mask the emotion in his eyes, then rolled upright on the bed, wearing his best boyish grin. "Want me to come? Just to wash, I promise?"

As he shifted to the edge of the bed, he saw that Severus' marks from the burns had completely gone now. That was good. He reached forward and caressed that bump. "Morning baby girl," he said, "sorry if we woke you up just then."

“I’m sure she didn’t care, anyway she’s too small to do anything about even if she didn’t like it” he said with a smile. “And I think I would like you to come with me. I have a feeling if I get in that bath I wont be able to get out of it, my feet are only over the edge of the bed and there already shaking” he said letting his toes skim against the carpet.

James grinned wryly, hopping to his feet and leading the way in the bathroom to run the bath. "If we hurry, Nibbles is sending up some breakfast to have in bed." His grin broadened. "Sex in bed followed by breakfast, positively decadent. This has been the best Christmas."

Snape looked at James before giving a small giggle. “I just hope she doesn’t get offended by your dirty sheets” he smiled leaning over the bath and turning the taps on, letting the bath fill with warm water and soothing bubbles. 

James laughed. "She's seen enough of those since I hit puberty," he mused, tilting his head to the side to admire the view of Severus' backside. He reached forward and massaged one of those rounded cheeks gently, his fingers dipping into the valley between. He groaned at the moistness there. "You look so sexy with your hole all pink and open, leaking my come," he breathed. "You'd better get in the bath before I have to lick you out."

“Don’t you dare” he said standing up straight and turning and tuning his body to removed James’ fingers. “You have had your way with me enough, you do it again and I will probably pass out” he said covering his backside as if it out protect him if James were to advance.

“And I want you to get in first…I prefer leaning against you” he said giving a small blush not wanting to admit that. 

James devious smirk turned into something gentle and warm. "I was only joking," he said, "I just like touching you." The bath had filled quickly, enhanced by magic, steaming and thick with bubbles. He climbed in the bath, setting his glasses on the side and leant back with his legs open for Severus to sit between. Though you could see nothing below his collarbone thanks to the thick bubbles, Severus flushed all the same.

“I’m coming in” he said quietly as he tested the water with one of his feet before climbing in and settle back against James as the bubbles surrounded him and he scooped some up with his hands and blew them up into the air watching them float around the room as he smiled before feeling James put his arms around him and rest them on his belly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys few minutes late! (00:13 here in the UK) but the next chapter is here and let me tell you so you not going to want to miss readying this one, today James finally settles the score with Lucius after what he did to Severus and the baby!  
> Hope you enjoy it guys!! =D

Chapter Eight

Later that day, as the afternoon sun was straining to peek through a thick flurry of snow, Mrs Potter was showing Severus humiliating pictures of James as a child in the cozy lounge. Severus had nodded off on the settee and after putting a blanket over him, James quietly excused himself. Throwing some floo powder into the grate in the drawing room, where there was more privacy, he waited for Lily Evans to appear.

"I'm going after Lucius Malfoy - tonight. I know he'll be at the gala, the one my parents refuse to go to every year. I'm going there and I'm going to make him suffer for what he's done. I want you to come and visit Severus, keep him comfortable, he's still a bit skittish around my mum and dad. And I don't..." He grit his teeth. "I don't want him to know I'm gone. I don't want him to worry."

“Alright, but I’m sure that he will notice that you are gone James when you leave me and him undisturbed for so long” she said looking though the fire at him as Remus watched and listened from the couch behind her.

“But before I come over there you have to tell me what’s going so” she said firmly wanting answers. “We all know that something happened from the way you guys where acting when you were here so will you tell me what happened? Why are you going after Malfoy? What did that bastard do to him Potter?!” she half yelled but Remus reached a hand forward placing it on her shoulder to calm her down. 

James grit his teeth. He knew Severus didn't want Lily to worry but that was only because he wasn't accustomed to people taking care of him. He would have to get used to it, James thought. "When we were in Diagon Alley, we bumped into Malfoy, like we told you. But what Severus didn't want to mention was that when we went into the apothecary, that twat came in and knocked a whole shelf of dangerous potions on Severus - they had a reaction, burned straight through his clothes and skin." He winced, feeling sick at the memory of Severus' shocked pain, at having to strip him down in the middle of the shop to try and save him from the worst of the burns.

"St Mungo's saved him. The wounds didn't even scar but if we'd been a few minutes later, if the clerk hadn't given us something to stop the burning of the potions..." He shook his head. It physically hurt to think of the potential outcome. "Severus could have died and even now... We aren't sure how the baby might have been affected. We still have to wait and see."

Lily let out a small gasp as she covered her mouth at the though of Severus and the baby in such danger and she had a sudden erg to go after Malfoy herself and inflict some REAL pain on him. One for which would be to make sure know Malfoy heirs were ever born.

“Did you want me to come with you to the party James? Make sure you don’t go over board and kill him?” Remus asked as his head popped into the fire next to Lily’s. “And if you like I can give him a bit and then wipe his memory of me ever doing it” he said with a smile not liking the thought of Severus being attacked in such a way and endangering the safety of an unborn child as well.

James shook his head. "If he's bitten, he'll know it was you. And I don't want anyone going with me. If I'm caught, I don't want anyone to suffer because of me." He already knew what he was going to do. He'd been planning it all night while Severus had slept in the hospital. The gala presented the perfect time...

"I'll arrive at the gala late so that everyone will be seated at the dinner." That was all he would tell them of his plan - he didn't want to get them involved, just in case. He would have his cloak though. If all went to plan, no one would know he was there.

“Alright James. But don’t do anything reckless that is going to get you into serious trouble, that little baby is going to need her daddy around remember” Remus said as he watched James with kind eyes.

“That’s right, you can’t leave Severus to raise her on his own if you get sent to azkaban or something. Just don’t kill him alright Potter” she said firmly and holding James’ gaze for a long time.

“Just promise you will be careful alright. We’ll both look after Severus tonight since Sirius has a lady friend coming over tonight and before you ask know it’s not serious” he smile as he rolled his eyes.

"I'm not going to get caught," James promised. "I've got years of sneaking practice." He tore his head out of the fire briefly to glance at the time on the grandfather clock across the room. "Can you be here soon? I'm going to tell him I've got some errands for Dad when he wakes up - he's asleep at the moment."

“Sure, if not you can just let him sleep and we can tell him when he wakes up, I’m sure he must be very tired” Lily said looking at him.

“We will come on though now if you like since we have nothing going on here” Remus smiled as he and Lily disappeared from the fire just to walk into the Potter home a few seconds later and spelling away the dust they left.

"If he wakes up before I'm gone," James muttered, pulling his invisibility cloak out and wrapping it around him so that only his head was visible. "Tell him I won't be long." He pocketed the small purple vial he'd retrieved from upstairs and regarded them carefully. "Mum and Dad don't know what I'm doing either. But I won't be long, just..." He glanced back in the direction of the doorway, through which he could see the lounge door. "Look after him for me."

“Of course we will, we love Severus and would never let anything happen to him” Lily smiled at James. “Just be careful whatever you do alright or Severus will get made that we lied to him and I don’t like lying to my best friend so you better not be caught and come back.”

“Don’t worry James we will take good care of him when he wakes up…if he does” Remus said with a small laugh.

*** 

James moved quickly but cautiously through the halls of the manor house that was hosting the gala this year. As he understood it, it was the Deputy Minister's country home they were in tonight. He'd only followed the apparition co-ordinates sent with the usual invitation, so he had no idea really. It didn't matter. He wasn't here to celebrate - he was here to protect Severus and his daughter. 

No one could see him anyway - thanks to the cloak.

Security was so lax at these functions - there weren't even any magical detection devices on the entrance. The man poised there looked tipsy. Either that or he was too dazed to notice the doors behind him opening of their own accord. In the grand hall beyond the doors, all the guests were sitting down at the countless tables arranged within. Careful to keep the cloak covering all of him, James searched the room for Lucius Malfoy.

It wasn't long before he heard the man's voice.

“It’s the same every year, they should class up these things more and invite dust the pure bloods” he said taking a sip of his drink as the group around him agreed and he smiled. “Now please excuse me I need to have a word with are host” he smiled walking away from the group “And get away from you disgusting half bloods” he said in a low voice as he looked around for someone more pure to talk to.

James took in a deep breath as he watched the bastard rise from his seat at the table. It was too good an opportunity to miss, especially with people still milling around searching for their seats. At the exact moment an elderly woman brushed past Lucius, causing the blond to twist his head in her direction. James shot forward and upended the colourless liquid from the purple vial into Lucius' glass.

"Excuse me, my boy," the old woman said brightly, before hobbling toward her seat. James edged out of the way as Lucius passed. 

"Riff-raff," the blond muttered in annoyance, taking a sip of his wine. After a moment, his face paled.

James tensed. The symptoms began with stomach pains and were fast-acting after that, but as he'd hoped, Lucius set the glass down and hurried toward the lavatories. James paused only to vanish the glass and its contents - all evidence, before hurrying after the blond to witness the potion do its work. He arrived in the bathroom that was otherwise empty, to find Lucius Malfoy had not made it to a cubicle or sink and was coughing blood and repulsive clots up onto the floor. 

Still invisible, James picked up Lucius' wand where it had been dropped carelessly (ensuring his bare fingers never touched it) and spelled the door locked. Lucius had not even noticed his wand being lifted and placed back on the floor again. He was too busy spluttering and choking, his body shaking as if in a fit. James watched, dead-panned. His insides were already rotting, he wondered if Lucius would die of shock before his external limbs started to rot away or if he would survive to the very end, where his brain and heart succumbed to the poison.

Lucius remained knelt on the floor to the bathroom as he cough and retched wildly as blood escaped his mouth painting the white tiles beneath him deep red and he gasped for breaths. “What’s…happening” he gasped as he clenched at his stomach with his hand feeling like his insides where on fire and twisting in knots before exploding all at the same time.

“What did…that old women put…in my drink” he choked at his lips started to pale and he fell onto him side into the pool of his own blood turning his platinum blond hair red and he released wheezy gasps as his heart hammered in his chest.

James' face twisted beneath the invisibility cloak. He wasn't a cruel man, at least, he hadn't thought he was until he'd been forced to realise how he had bullied Severus all these years. But he wasn't malicious, not a sadist and it gave him no real pleasure to watch Lucius rotting from the inside out. He stood there and watched only out of the need to ensure the man really was gone for good.

He stayed silent, the scene before him only bearable when he thought of the pain Severus has been in on Christmas Eve, when he thought that their daughter, as of now, may even be harmed beyond healing.

At long last, a spasm sent Lucius body sprawling back across the tiled. The man shook and choke, blood bubbling up over his lips and oozing down his face. This was it. The bastard wouldn't make it to the point where his extremities began to drop off. His body was shutting down from the shock.

Lucius let out wheezing breaths as his lungs started to shut down and rolled onto his back looking up at the ceiling of the bathroom blood sliding out of the corners of his mouth. “Narcissa…I’m sorry” he let out in a low rasping voice as his body gave a small shakes and coughed again unlodging the blood from his throat. 

James flinched. He'd known the name of Malfoy's fiancee, but only in that the girls in his year gossiped about it often. He'd heard that she was being forced into it by her father. There was even a rumour going round that the sudden betrothal was because she'd gotten pregnant. He frowned, wondering for the first time if Lucius Malfoy was leaving behind those who would actually miss him, just as a particularly revolting splutter sounded from the man on the floor.

The man flinched and his head lolled to the side, into a pool of his own blood. He moved no more.

James stared, horrified and relieved at once. Something inside him ached, burned at the thought that he had murdered someone. I am a murderer, he thought with bone-chilling pain. Now that the anger, the desperation to protect Severus and their child was gone there was only...

He felt sick. He didn't think he'd feel like this.

Fuck. He had to leave, he couldn't be sick here - couldn't leave a single trace of himself here. Closing his eyes against the ugly scene that was the price of Severus' and their daughter's safety, he apparated.

A few moments later, he stumbled across his own bathroom and vomited up everything he'd eaten at dinner. He was shaking and quivering. So much that he did not notice Severus was standing in the doorway watching him until he spoke. He was glad he'd stowed his invisibility cloak out of sight in his robe pocket...

“James…are you alright?” he asked walking more into the bathroom and lightly rubbing his back. “Do you want me to get you something? I can gat your mom if you like” he said before going to move always only to have James grab onto his hand and stop him from leaving the room.

“James what happened? Lily and Lupin told me you had to go out for a while, did you stomach not like the move of you apparating back?” he asked kneeling down and rubbing James’ back again.

James shook his head reaching out and seizing Severus' arm. He wanted to tell him not to get his mother, to stay but by then bile was leaving him and splattering into the toilet bowl. His stomach had nothing left to give. When he was only giving dry heaves, he sat back on his knees, his face pale, his skin clammy. 

Shakily, he rose to his feet, flushing the loo and splashing water over his face before he finally lifted his eyes to watch Severus reflection in the mirror. Now that Severus was safe, now that the deed was done and there was no chance it could be traced back to him, should he tell him? He didn't know if he could keep a secret from him.

For some reason, he wanted Severus to know everything, even the darkest parts of him. Even if it made him hate him. Inhaling shakily, he tried to hold Severus' eyes in the mirror, only when he caught sight of his own reflection, he saw that his own brown eyes were glassy. He was still shaking. 

Gripping the edge of the bathroom sink he whispered in the quiet room, "I killed Lucius Malfoy." When Severus said nothing, James grit his teeth. "There's no way it can be traced to me, but he's gone - I couldn't let him live after what he did to you, to our daughter, I couldn't take the chance that he'd come after you both again I..." He felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. "I couldn't let him hurt you. But I didn't know it would feel like this."

He didn't realise his knees had collapsed under him until he found Severus standing over him.

Severus looked down at James with wide eyes, had he head right? Had he just heard James say that he had killed someone? Not only that a pure blood like Lucius Malfoy what was he thinking and why did he do it? He looked at James blinking a few times not knowing what to say or to do as he took a step back from him.

“You…you killed Lucius?” he asked looking at him shaking his head slightly not believing James’ own words that he had spoken to him he never would have believed that James was capable of something like that.

James cursed the tears streaking from his eyes. He'd not thought beyond what had to be done, beyond making Severus safe. He hadn't thought he'd feel this awful.

"He was never going to leave you alone!" James gasped, choked, his throat raw from vomiting. "He was happy for your insides to be burned away by those potions, for our innocent baby to be taken along with you. For what reason? No reason! He wouldn't stop until you were dead, Sev and I couldn't...I couldn't..." He was so sick of the shaking. "I didn't think I'd feel so...so cold..."

Severus watched the tears as they streamed down James’ cheeks and he slowly lowered to his knees and put his hand on James’ shoulders before shuffling forward and putting his arms gently around his shoulders and pulling him closer as he stroked his hair trying to comfort him.

“…It’s not your fault…I know you were just trying to keep me safe” he said not wanting to say anymore for fear that he could say something wrong and make James feel more worse than he already did.

James winced. He was supposed to be the strong one, he was supposed to be strong and look after Severus and the baby. He wasn't supposed to be in pieces. But he was. He leant into Severus and tried to stop the shaking. "I'm not a bad person," he insisted, feeling short of air. "I just wanted you to be safe." In Severus' embrace, he brushed his hand over their baby. "Both of you."

“I know you did James” he said lightly before pulling away slightly. “Come on, lets get to bed and out of these cloths. I think you could use a lie down and it’s very late” he said coming to a standing and holding his hand out for James. “And I will stay next to you while you sleep.”

James obeyed the soft, rich voice and got to his feet. After following him into the bedroom, he sat silent and still on the bed while Severus undressed him. He'd never done it before and whenever he'd pictured it in his mind, it was always sexual in context. Never like this. Moonlight streamed in through the windows. He watched Severus' features in the soft light.

The man's hands were gentle but insistent. Severus was looking after him, even after he'd done the most horrible thing - even if it had been to protect him. He was caring for him, unconditionally. 

James lashes fluttered against his cheeks. He tilted his head to span the small distance between them, Severus' fingers still working the buttons on his robes. He touched their lips together gently. "I love you," he breathed against Severus' lips. "I just want you to be happy and safe. That's all I want." His voice was a barely there whisper, but he knew Severus had heard him, the way those dark eyes widened was evidence enough.

Severus touched his hand to James’ cheek gently and stoked it. “I no you do James, you take every opportunity to tell me even if you don’t say it in words” he said with a small warm smile before going back and finishing undoing the button’s of James’ shirt and letting it fall off his shoulder before moving to remove James’ shoes.

“But you really don’t have to go pushing yourself to such extremes for me…for us” he said touching his belly as James watched the action.

After a long time, during which Severus had stripped him completely except for his boxers, James whispered, "I do. I do have to, Severus. Lucius Malfoy wouldn't have been happy until you were both dead. We could've never proven what he did - I had to stop him I..." His mouth felt dry as he stared up at Severus in the moon and lamplight. "Oh...Merlin I... I'm a murderer..."

Severus pressed a thin finger to James’ lips to quiet him before lying him down on the bed and sitting on the edge leaning over him his hands either side of James’ head as his hair hung over his shoulders. “No more talking now and no more thinking about it” he said lifting a hand and removing James’ glasses from his face and placing them on the side table before looking at him. “Just don’t think about it” he said leaning down and kissing him lightly before opening the draw next to the bed and pulling out a small vile of dreamless sleep potion.

James blinked, watching Severus in the dim light. "You don't hate me, do you?" For some reason, what Severus thought of this was more important than anything else.

He knew what was in the vial in Severus' hand, he longed for it and yet the sight filled him with foreboding at the same time. He couldn't sleep, not until Severus answered that question. He turned his head a fraction to avoid the lip of the vial, still maintaining his hold on Severus' gaze. "Do you?" he breathed.

“No James, I don’t hate you” he said looking down into his eyes and showing he wasn’t lying as his climbed onto the bed and straddled James’ hips. “If that were true I wouldn’t come near you. Would I?” he smiled holding the vile out to James giving him the option to take it if he wanted to.

"Lay down with me?" James murmured, soothed by the reply Severus had given. The slytherin didn't believe in sugar-coating anything. If he'd hated James, he would have said so. Swigging back the contents of the vial, he set it on the side table and slid down into the covers, holding them open, silently asking for Severus to join him.

Severus gave a small smile as he move off James and under the covers moving as close to him as he could knowing that James would want to have his near tonight after what had happened and it was Severus’ turn to be strong for James after everything he had down for him.

James nestled closer, sleep tugging at his senses. His limbs stopped shaking as he wrapped one arm around Severus, though they still felt weak. He shifted down so that he could press his nose against Severus' belly. There he closed his eyes and sighed, the dreamless sleep chasing away thoughts that would bring unpleasant dreams. "Love you," he muttered sleepily, before slumber finally claimed him.

Severus lay there wide awake as he stroked at James’ hair lightly. “Sleep well James” he murmured as he laid there and the hours passed as he thought about James had down and how he had done it. Many thoughts ran though his head each more frightening than the last and he sat up in bed James’ grip having slackened long ago and he looked at the clock which he could just make out read 3:00am. “What should I do?” he asked himself as he quietly slid out of bed try not to disturb James. ‘I cant just leave him…can I?” his thoughts echoed as he looked back to the bed and wondered for a long time what he should do.

***

James blinked, a frown furrowing his brow as he stretched out in bed and found nothing. The coldness of the sheets beside him jerked him awake. He shot up and stared down. Sunlight was streaming in through the window but he had never felt more devoid of warmth. Severus was gone - had been for some time. 

A quick glance around showed that the trunk (that his mother had moved into his room) with all his and Severus' belongings in now stood thrown open, practically empty now Severus' things were gone.

He had never moved so quickly in his life.

Within moments he was dressed in jeans and t-shirt. He didn't even bother with a robe, merely snatched up his wand and threw a handful of floo powder into the fireplace.

"Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts!" Dumbledore, understanding their predicament had opened a connection between this grate and his own - should Severus ever feel the need to return. Apparently he had. But James couldn't let him run, not now, not this time. Not after last night.

Dumbledore wasn't in his office and so there was no distraction. He flew down the spiralling staircase and through the halls, making a beeline for Severus' chamber. He pounded frantically on the door.

Why now? Why had Severus run now?

Severus jump startled by the noise and dropping the book he had been reading as it hit the floor with a loud thud. He knew it wouldn’t have been long until the Gryffindor came after him but he wasn’t expecting him to come hammering on the door like he did, of course James couldn’t just walk in like he normal would have as the charms to keep him out had been put back up again the only way for him to get in was if Severus said he could enter. Severus sat in his desk chair and looked at the door for a long time wondering if he should answer or not.

"Severus!" James shouted through the door, his voice desperate and ragged from sleep. He didn't care about anyone else hearing him - the castle was virtually deserted for the holidays.

"Severus! Open the door! Don't shut me out like this! I don't understand!" Or maybe he did and that was why he felt so frantic. Was Severus afraid of him? No, he'd said he wasn't, that he hadn't hated him last night - Severus wasn't the type to lie. Was he overwhelmed that someone would so readily kill to keep him safe?

Severus stood from his chair and walked closer to the door handing a short distance from it as he looked at the large oak door and imaging James standing on the side. Should he let him in or just pretend that he wasn’t in his room? After a few long minutes and James banging away on his door he took a deep breath before speaking.

“Go home James, you should be with your family” he called though the oak door as James stopped his banging having obviously heard him.

"YOU'RE PART OF MY FAMILY!" James roared. "You've made it pretty damn clear you don't want to be but you are, to me. You let me in close and that meant something to me. You matter to me, just as much as Sirius and Remus matter. But more than that." He grit his teeth, a savage burst of pain exploding in his chest.

He felt sick again.

"I meant what I said last night!" he snarled. "I...I said I loved you! That's what frightened you away isn't it?" He should've known better. He'd scared him away.

“It doesn’t matter James! And I already told you hundreds of times that I would never be a part of family know matter how must you might want me to be!” he called walking closer to the door and resting a hand on the smooth wood.

James was on the other side of the door, he would almost feel where his hand rested on the other side and he let out a sigh. “…Everything is fine James…I just want to be alone for a while…so go home and spend time with your parents. You on have a few days of Christmas vacation left with them.”

James thumped hard on the door a final time before his fists slid down the wood. Splinters dug into his flesh. His knuckles ached, sore in a way that told him the skin was about to split. He shut his eyes, trying to control himself. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. But what else had he expected really? Did he really think a few acts of affection and protection, devotion would win Severus' in return.

Grinding his teeth together, he struggled to steady his breathing. 

Suddenly, he was glad that the door stood between them. He didn't want Severus to see him like this, so pathetic and he certainly didn't want to see Severus.

"Open the door," he murmured despite himself. But there was no response. "There's nothing I can ever do to make you want me, is there?"

Severus turned his back to the door and slid down it till he was on the floor, his head resting against the door and his knees drawn up. “…No…there is nothing” he said quietly, he didn’t want James to be dragged down by him he didn’t want him getting close and falling in love with him but he had and he knew all he could do now was push him away.

“It’s never wise…to fall in love with a Slytherin…they’ll only break your heart” he said as a tear escape and ran down his cheek as he brushed it away confused by why he was crying.

"It's too late to give me that warning," James said reverently. Because it really was far too late. Even without their baby binding them together, he didn't think that would have stopped him from staring at the door as if it were betraying him by standing in the way. He took a few stumbling steps backward.

"It's really too late," he repeated and then turned away. If Severus wanted to be alone, then that really was the only thing he could give him. Slowly, as if hoping the door would open and Severus would call him back, James turned away and walked back through the courtyard towards the headmaster's office. The door didn't open - Severus didn't follow him.

***

“James dear welcome home. Where did you? I heard you come running out of your room then heard the fire in the fireplace” Mrs Potter said as James came back though the flue network. Mrs Potter had been sitting and folding cloths on the couch when he had got back leaving a small stack of James’ clothes on the table the top shirt reading ‘I’m in love my Slytherin guy’.

James stared at the pile of clothes, the top shirt in particular. He never hid things from his parents, not really - not unless those secrets were not his to divulge. But this...

He just shook his head and waited for a moment before speaking, trying to eradicate the husky emotion from his voice. "Severus has gone. He won't be here for dinner." He couldn't meet her eyes. He swallowed. "I'm just going upstairs for a bit, mum. Don't wait on me for dinner, I'm not hungry." He ducked his head apologetically. 

Managing to hold it together till he got up the stairs, he struggled for a moment longer when he'd reached his room, long enough to scrawl a quick note on a scrap of parchment.

Evans, He needs you. He's back at Hogwarts. Look after him. Potter

His owl hooted balefully from its perch, as if sensing there was something wrong, but obediently held out its leg for the letter and as soon as James opened the window, it flew off, letter in its talons. Then James turned back to the bed, laid down on it and moved no more for some time.

***

Lily frowned as she tapped lightly on Severus' door. She'd been rudely awoken by a rather flustered looking owl only a half an hour ago. She flushed. It was nearly noon, after all but she and Remus the night before had been...

Clearing her throat, smoothing her hair down in an attempt to push such thoughts from her mind, she remembered the foreboding cryptic air to Potter's note. Something was wrong. She knocked more firmly on the door. "Sev?" she called. "Sev I know you're in there, it's me, let me in."

Severus was still in his place on the floor leaning against the door but after a few long minutes moved away and opened the door sitting on the floor his legs refusing to let him stand up as if punishing him for what he had done to James earlier.

“Hello Lily” he said in a small voice not even bothering to look up at her as he looked at the floor but hearing her move into the room and the door shutting behind her when she did.

"Potter sent me a rather flustered, desperate looking owl that pecked at me until I took the message from it. The message was so cryptic it worried me more than the owl. He said you need me. What's the matter?" she sat down on the bed and seriously considered his expression.

"Oh, goodness, Sev, what's wrong?" her eyes went wide. She bit her lip. "Sev, I know what Potter did was rash but...really, it was the only way. He wanted you and the baby safe." She leant in to caress his belly but as she did so, she saw something in his expression. "That's not just it though, is it? What else happened?"

Severus remained still and quiet for a long time finding it hard to find his voice. But after a while he swallowed and took a deep breath before looking at Lily. “He…he said…he loved me, Lily” he said in a low voice as he looked at her. “I never wanted him to fall in love with me Lily…we had a deal and he’s just throwing it all out the window and trying to make a new one…and because of me…because of me he killed someone” he said in an almost desperate voice.

Lily's hand that had stilled on his belly slid up and gripped his wrist, pulling him down onto the bed beside her. She stared into his face with wide, glistening green eyes and rubbed his shoulder. "Oh, Severus," she whispered, as a mother might to her child rather than one friend to another. "This is a big shock to you? Of course he loves you, anyone can see that. Goodness, even Black saw it - why else do you think he's got that pole out of his arse and being civil now? He knows he has to, because Potter is absolutely smitten with you." 

Caressing his hand gently, she studied his expression. "I can understand that it's...unsettling that he killed for you, but honestly, Severus, Lucius Malfoy could not have been stopped any other way. And with contacts like that prat that calls himself 'Voldemort' who knows what may have happened." She gripped his hand tighter. "It wasn't your fault - it was Malfoys. And Potter, I'd be worried if he wasn't a little shaken from taking someone's life - no matter the reason."

“Yes but…in choosing to keep me and his baby safe he put another child in danger and without one of its parent” he said looking into her eyes as he held onto one of her hands. “You have heard the rumours haven’t you? About Narcissa being pregnant as well. I know that Malfoy in a way got what was coming to him, but it’s not fair also in a way” he said turning his head into his sheets. They hadn’t been washed since he left and they still smelled like James on his side of the bed.

“I don’t want him to love me Lily…I want him to have a better like with someone else. Someone who wants to stand by his side and give him the big family he always wanted…I want him to have more than just me and this baby.”

Lily frowned. "If the rumours are true, that poor baby and Narcissa are better off without Malfoy. Do you know the slytherin girls say that he offered her up as...entertainment for the death eaters? His own fiancee!" She shook her head, disgusted by the thought. It was easy to believe. She'd seen Malfoy with Narcissa a few times in public and at the best of times, he seemed to find her amusing.

"I will see if Narcissa is alright - she always liked Black, you know, until her aunt Walpurga banished him. Perhaps he can get through to her, offer her some help if the rumours are indeed true. Severus you can't...you don't blame Potter for what he did, do you?"

“I…I don’t know…but I. I just wish he had talked to me about it before running off any acting” he said drawing his kneels up a bit and playing with his fingers. “He said he would always tell me everything, but I guess telling me that before he did it wasn’t in the cards. And you are right Malfoy was scum and didn’t treat Narcissa right” he said moving his hands to stoke at his belly.

Lily clucked her tongue. "Potter told you as soon as was practicable. He didn't want you to get involved and hurt yourself - or the baby. He didn't want you anywhere near Malfoy." She wrung her hands then. "He told me and Remus about it before he went... Sev, I've not always liked the prat but he puts you and the baby before everything else. I can't help but respect that."

She reached out and touched his hand where it lay over the baby again. "I don't expect you to be alright, of course, you want time away from him. He's an overwhelming, devoted little gryffindor isn't he?" she beamed but when Severus only offered the smallest of smiles in return, she sighed.

"Why do you hate yourself so much?" she whispered, her voice sounding wounded. "Severus, you are an amazing man. He is lucky to have you, why should you feel so wretched that he loves you? That he loves your baby? Why do you look as if him loving you is a worse crime than killing someone?"

“Because I’m not good enough Lily…I’m not good enough for anyone and I never wanted any child to carry my blood…I don’t want to be love by someone who could do so better and have a bright future” he said shutting his eyes not wanting to look into Lily’s piercing green ones. 

“No one…should have to deal with a damaged, broken and mentally unstable person like me I should just die alone with no memories that I ever existed in this world.”

"Severus Snape!" Lily snapped. "If you weren't pregnant I would slap you!" she hissed. "A man as intelligent as you should know by now that we are all damaged in some way. You think Potter is not? He's just as fucked up as the rest of us." Her language made Severus flinched, but she did not stall to take in that notion. "I could understand if you were reserved because of how you both began, he raped you, didn't he? But you've not said one word about that. You've only mentioned over and over that he is too good for you. He's flawed, he's a rapist and thoughtless and reckless, he has issues far-reaching but he's an honest man, just like you. Honest men, good men make mistakes, Severus or even decisions they think are the best. That doesn't make them unworthy or any less good."

“But…” he said as tears filled his eyes and he grit his teeth not wanting to release his tears but that escaped seconds later and Severus quickly moved to wipe them away. “Stupid hormones” he said wiping at his eyes.

“It’s true…he has flows…but he was brought up with so much love. I don’t understand it…I don’t understand so I don’t want it from him. Yes, things between us started out really bad I don’t even want to think back to that time he chased me down and did what he did but despite that. I still think he should have someone better” he said moving his hand away from his face and looking at Lily.”

"Severus," she breathed, all anger gone from her voice. But she could say no more. There wasn't anything else to say, was there? Only Potter could convince Severus that he could have him, if that was what he wanted. And that was something that only time could aid in. She glanced around the room. "Why did Potter owl me? Why didn't he stay with you?"

Snape lifted a hand and pointed to the door. “I got Dumbledore to redid the spells on the door so he couldn’t get into my room” he said lifting his hand a few more seconds before letting it fall with a thud on the bed. “I just couldn’t bear to see him Lily” he said slowly sitting up and drawing his knees up putting his arms around them.

“Do you think I was wrong to do something like that Lily?” he asked her in a small voice as he seemed to look at the door. 

Lily regarded him for some time before she spoke. "I think some time apart will do you both the world of good," she said simply. "You've had a bad start, what Potter did was..." She paused. She didn't want to get into that now. What Potter had done was unforgivable, but he had been repenting every day since, it seemed. If he was happy to keep repenting for the rest of his life, well, that showed some hope at least. He knew what he'd done was wrong, but it didn't stop him from loving Severus. He wanted to do everything he could to make it up to him - he'd been doing a good job too, so far.

She sighed. This situation was one big headache but at the same time, no one else, not even she had ever gotten through to Severus and helped him face his demons, face his father before. 

They were good for each other, that fact was unavoidable.

"You need to come to terms with what he did for you and how you feel for him. Take as much time as you need. He'll give it to you," she smiled wistfully, "he'll give you the earth if that's what you need, Severus."

“Do you really think so?” he asked looking at her with big obsidian eyes. “You don’t think he will just sit outside my door after all of his night patrols of the castle and keep trying to get into my room or talk to me after or during class?” he asked before lying back down on his side again on the bed.

“…He would be able to bring himself to stay away…it will be a miracle if he can even manage to sleep in his own bed in Gryffindor tower” he said quietly as he stroked his stomach and seeming deep in thought as he did so.

Lily stared at him, wondering if he'd even realised how much affection he was giving the little bump. She smiled softly, deciding not to mention it and ruin the growing love there. "If you asked him to, he would do anything," she said resolutely. Then reached for some parchment and a quill off the table. "Write him a short note, tell him you want some time alone. He'll give it to you." Her expression hardened. "I think things should be on your terms from now on."

“You know, maybe you are right” he said sitting up and taking the parchment before moving to lean against the head board of the bed and thinking about what he should actually say to him in the note before putting quill to parchment.

To James,  
Please don’t be mad at me, I just feel that I need some time away from you right now. I know I shouldn’t have run away while you were sleeping but I feared you wouldn’t let me go otherwise. It’s just for a while until I manage to sort some things out, so please until then just leave me be and spend some real time with your friends  
From  
Severus x

Severus looked over the note multiple times checking it for anything that he felt he should add or remove and every time his faulted on the single kiss he put at the end. In the end he chose to leave it wanting to show James that he still cared about him and wasn’t just telling him to go away completely and thing would work out before he curled up the parchment and held it out to Lily. “Would you give this to him for me when you next see him?” he asked looking at her where she had been patiently sitting as he wrote and read and reread his letter. 

Lily looked at him, apparently not completely satisfied with his choice of words but unwilling to change it - he had to decide for himself what to say. She couldn't interfere. "Of course I'll get it to him." She tucked the letter into her jumper pocket and stared at him. "What are you going to do now? Do you want me to stay with you?"

Severus gave his head a small shake. “No it’s alright you can got back to Lupin now if you want. You two have seemed pretty close later” he said giving her a smile before climbing off his bed and heading over to his trunk and opening it.

“Lily…you think you could do me one last favour” he said standing up with the little white rabbit in his arm. “Could you give this to James as well. For some reason he cant sleep without me so maybe if he had this it might be easer” he said drawing his wand and placing a stases charm over it so it kept his smell. “I would send it by own but I think they would destroy it.” 

Lily took the little rabbit and looked from it to Severus. There was more than met the eye going on, but she didn't comment. Severus' pride could do without it, she thought. "Of course, Severus," she said softly and leant forward to kiss him on the cheek, then pet his belly gently. "I'll come see you tomorrow. At least I know you'll be safe at Hogwarts - Dumbledore has wards around his office so that only you, Potter and I can pass, did you know? He is a genius, that man." She smiled wistfully, then headed for the door. If you need me, send me a patronus, alright?"

Severus gave her a nod before she left the room and he let out a sigh watching the door for a moment before looking at his belly. “You hear that in there, if I want her I have to send a patronus so no making my magic go weird okay” he said stroking his belly before giving a stretch. “Well…I guess I will go have a bath and try to relax a bit…maybe get some sort of sleep” he murmured as he headed towards the bathroom and shut the door. 

***

After Severus' letter, James wished he could say he'd spent the rest of his Christmas Holidays with his friends and family, exactly as Severus had said - but he hadn't really. He'd visited Remus and Sirius' flat with Wormtail once, but the other times Evans was with Remus and Sirius spent most of his time with Narcissa and Andromeda Black. He'd done a lot of odd jobs round his parents house to keep himself busy too, spent time with his mother and father. Truth be told, any other spare time he spent sprawled across his bed, staring up at the ceiling or at the small rabbit Evans had passed onto him from Severus.

Even when he was with his friends and family, he'd never felt so alone in his life. 

At the same time, the media let out the discovery of Lucius Malfoy's body. It seemed after an auror investigation, they were suspecting the blond had been murdered by anti 'Voldemort' supporters, but nothing had been confirmed. There were no clues, it seemed and no one had come banging down his door yet, so he knew he had been as thorough as he'd hoped - no one would suspect either him, Severus or anyone they held dear...

All the same, he both longed and dreaded the moment he returned to Hogwarts, when he'd be closer to Severus and yet still unable to visit him - until Severus asked for him.

Once back at Hogwarts, he was quite proud of himself that he avoided Severus' rooms. Once classes began again, they shared them, of course, but he respected Severus' space and sat with Remus, Sirius and Wormtail. Evans sat with Severus a lot - Remus too, he tried not to let that bother him. He had to wait for Severus this time before pushing any boundaries, no matter how awful it felt to be apart.

***

On the second weekend back at Hogwarts after the holidays and Lily and Remus were waiting patiently by Severus' door, waiting for him to meet them. They were determined the slytherin see some sunlight while the snow had stopped. It was bright this morning, ideal for sitting out in the courtyard - with warming charms of course. Severus was putting up fine protest, however, hormones in full swing this morning.

"Hurry up, Sev," Lily called from the doorway, "you'll feel better for it when you're out in the fresh air."

“I really doubt that!” he called though the door as he wrapped his scarf around himself and grumbled as he headed for the door and opened it giving the pair a glare. “I don’t see why I have to go out, I could easily sit in my room with the window open and get fresh air that way” he moaned not wanting to leave his room as his hormones had started to take over move. “And I’m rather happy with my sickly pale skin” he said even as he started to walk.

“But the exercise is good for you and the baby. Not only that the bags under your eyes are starting to show more as your skin it starting to pale, are you still not sleeping?” Remus asked as he walked beside Lily but looked at the dark circles under Severus’ eyes.

“…I might still be missing out on…some sleep but it’s just fine, my grades are still up and I feel fine.”

"You know Pomfrey is bound to have something that can help you sleep that is safe for the baby," Remus advised carefully as they walked down through the Hogwarts grounds. The snow was thick and crunchy underfoot - pleasant in any other situation. But tensions were still running high whenever either Severus or James were in the vicinity. Both were dealing with their demons during their time apart.

Suddenly, Severus stopped. The abrupt movement sent his other two companions rushing to his side, Lily rubbing his arms and staring concernedly into his face. "Severus?" she gasped, "Are you alright?" Then she registered the utter shock on her friend's face and the fact that his hands were both on his belly. Her eyes went wide. "Oh, is she moving? Did she kick?"

“…yes” he said with wide eyes not really believing himself what he had felt before it happened again and he gave a smile and a small giggle before grabbing Lily’s and Remus’ hands and pressing them to his belly much to the discomfort of Remus. Everything when quiet though for a long time before the baby kicked against. “There! Did you feel it!?” he asked with a big smile looking at the pair.

"Goodness!" Lily exclaimed, both hands on Severus' bump now. A soft but real swipe of movement brushed against her hand from within. Remus felt it too and looked from Severus to his stomach with wide, surprised eyes. 

"Makes it more real, doesn't it?" he murmured. "A real baby."

Lily gave Remus a significant look but did not remove her hands from Severus. "Oh, Severus, it's amazing. So strong too!"

“Maybe that means her next scan will go okay and everything will be fine with her” he smiled at Lily. “That’s a good point when is that” he said lifting his arm and showing his now red armband and giving it a tap. “Looks like it’s tomorrow…wow tomorrow…that’s a lot sooner than I thought it would” he wait a little worried.

“Severus how long has your armband been red for and why is it red?” he asked looking at Severus knowing that red only showed up when something was very important.

“It’s nothing, it’s just telling me to sleep and I don’t want to take potions to help me go to sleep” he said as his belly gave another movement causing him to smile.

Lily's scorn and frustration at him not taking proper care of himself was dulled by the reminder of the miracle inside him once more. She petted his belly a final time before dragging her touch away and straightening up. As she did so, however, she caught sight of Potter. He was in his quidditch gear and his hair was tousled and sweaty. It looked like he'd been trying to let off some tension while flying but now he stood there in the snow - just staring at them. Watching them fawn over the first movements of his child.

Severus turned too to see what Lily was staring at. James tensed as his gaze met Severus' but after a moment, he just gave a short nod and turned to head back up to the castle.

Severus’ smile seemed to fade at the sight of James heading back into the castle, he should have been there to feel the first movements of the baby but he had missed out because of him. “Um…would it be alright…if I quickly went after him? I don’t want him to miss out on feel the baby too” he said turning his head to look at Lily and Remus.

Lily regarded him carefully. "Only if you're sure you're ready to see him, to speak with him," she said. "Take care, Severus." 

Meanwhile, on the path up the castle, James' knuckles had gone white with the tight grip on his broom and his jaw was tensed. It had hurt, to see Severus letting Evans and even Remus so close to such a personal experience but that could only be expected. And he didn't really want Severus to be alone just because he wanted some time away from him. He sighed as he walked towards the main doors back into the castle. No, he wanted Severus to be happy, to be comfortable. It was just the look on his face when he had felt the baby obviously move...

It had been startled, yes but delighted. James had wanted to share that with him.

A familiar voice calling out to him just then snapped him sharply from his thoughts and he stopped, turning to face the person moving brusquely towards him.

“James!” Severus called again from behind before he stopped a distance away panting deciding then and there that running on not sleep and running in general when your pregnant is not a very smart move to be making and he touching his ribs feeling a small stitch there before he looked up at James and really looking at him for the first time since school had started again.

James wasn't aware he'd been holding his breath until his lungs started to ache. He exhaled as smoothly as possible, surveying Severus carefully. He looked like James felt, tired, lonely, uncertain. He'd definitely put on a little but of weight round his middle though which was good. "Severus," he said at last, his fingers restless. he wanted to reach out and touch him, hold him, but that hadn't been the invitation. He refused to do anything unless Severus expressly told him so, they had to take things slowly this time, step by step. And Severus had to dictate each of those steps in turn.

"You alright?" he asked softly. "Is the baby alright?" 

Perhaps it was stupid, but he had greeted Severus' belly every morning and he wondered if his daughter had forgotten his voice in the last few weeks...

“I’m…I’m alright…guess I am a little tired though” he said standing up a bit straighter and hoping that James didn’t notice the bags under his eyes as he very slowly walked towards him. “And…she’s okay to” he said looking down at his belly as he stooped in front of James.

He stood there silent for a long time before parting his robs and lifting up his school jumper and shirt showing the bare skin of his belly and reaching out to take James hand and hesitating for a moment before taking it and placing it on his belly giving a shudder to the feel of his cold hand on his warm skin and waiting, hoping that the baby would move for James as well.

James felt his breath catch in his throat again. It was just as well that the grounds around them were abandoned as Severus was always loathed to expose his naked skin anywhere on his body, even so, Severus seemed determined to show him. Perhaps to bring him closer? To make him feel included once more?

James' fingers twitched on the soft swell of that belly. It had definitely grown. He felt a pang of sadness that it had grown so much in the last few weeks without him. The baby within, didn't move, however. James pressed a little more, where Evans' hand had been before. Severus shivered at the touch of his cold hand, his cheeks flushing a little.

James smiled slightly. "Sorry," he murmured, stepping closer and lifting his hands to his mouth. He breathed hotly on them and rubbed them together a few times before replacing his hand, underneath Severus' shirt so that his naked skin was more protected from the January air.

"She's grown since I last saw you," he murmured, caressing gently, trying to coax his daughter into movement. He looked up then to find Severus' eyes on his. "Are you letting me do this because you want me to or because you think I should?"

“I…I want you to…and I also think that you should. You’re her daddy after all and I don’t want you missing out on something like this” he said as he looked down at James. It felt a little strange to have James touching his bare skin again but he liked it and in a lot of ways also missed it.

“I think she’s going to be a strong little fighter like you, maybe even a quidditch player” he said giving a small smile before it faded on his lips, there was so much he wanted to ask James and talk to him about but he didn’t feel ready to let him so close again so quickly. But taking a breath he slowly raised a hand and placed it on one of James and gave it a single stroke with his thumb.

James smiled - the first true smile he had given in weeks and stroked that stomach again, Severus wanted him to, that was what mattered. As he stepped a fraction closer, he felt a small swipe from beneath his palm. It felt like a bubble popping or a soft brush of a feather against him. He felt something in his chest, something good tighten and burst. His smile broadened. 

"I felt her!" he gasped, warmth seemed to be spreading from his hand and all through his body. "I felt her she - she's really there!" His voice was hushed with awe but no less urgent. Hope that had dwindled over the last few days swelled once more.

His eyes shot quickly up to Severus' again. "Do you think this means she'll be alright? That she wasn't hurt by what happened?"

“Well…it’s what Lily and Lupin think anyway” he said looking at James. “But I’m not going to get my hopes up, cause it will make me feel terrible if something is wrong with her” he said looking away from James and hoping that there was nothing wrong with the baby after what had happened.

James wished he could offer some words of support or reassurance, but he had none, all he could say was, "I'll be here, whatever happens." He caressed Severus' belly a final time before reluctantly drawing his hand away. "Thank you, it means a lot to me, Severus, both of you do." He could say no more than that, Severus knew how he felt, there was no need to push too hard too soon and make him uncomfortable. 

Taking a step back to put some more space between them, he exhaled shakily. "You're alright? You don't look like you've been sleeping well."

“If I’m honest…I haven’t been” he said with a sigh and shutting his eyes for a moment before opening them again as he pulled down his shirt and jumper and wrapped his robs back around himself starting to feel a little chilly.

“I guess I…I just cant bring myself to sleep that well right now” he said even though he really wanted to say he had grown used to having someone next to him and having no one there made him feel lonely and uneasy. “But I’m alright I still get around fine and I’m keeping my grade up” he said giving a small smile. “But what about you, are you doing alright? You don’t normally work out so hard until you’re sweating in freezing weather” he said looking James up and down and knowing there must have been a lot of layers to his quidditch uniform.

James flushed a little, running a hand through his hair so that it stuck up at especially odd angles thanks to being slightly damp with sweat. "Yeah I just...helps me keep my mind of things, you know?" He regarded Severus carefully. "It's hard - I miss you and I'm dealing with...you know." He meant with what he had done to Lucius and he knew Severus understood that without saying so. He moistened his dry lips thoughtfully. "Is there anything I can do to help you? Anything at all?"

Severus shook his head. “No, there isn’t anything. But um…I thought you would like to no I took the charms off my door…for you” he said a little quietly not looking at him, not wanting to admit that he had heard James stop outside him room many times on his way back from doing his patrols around the castle. “And…I hope you are looking after that little rabbit to.” Severus didn’t want to say it but he had half wondered what James had decided to do with it since he had sent it off with Lily.

The colour on James' cheeks darkened to a full blush. He cleared his throat. "That's...that's good I... If you ever fancy a chat or, you know, just want some company, you can just ask." There, the ball was entirely in Severus' court now, should he want him. He saw over Severus' shoulder that Evans and Remus were approaching now. They were holding hands.

"They're official now," he said absently, a prickle of jealousy in his veins that he and Severus couldn't have that kind of relaxed affection together. He shoved it to the side. He was happy for his friend and Evans, who was sort of a friend to.

“Yes, it took me by surprise a bit when I found out…I really had no idea about them” he said turning to look at the pair before looking at James and slowly reaching into his pocket. “James I um, I have something I wanted to give to you for a while know…I made it that night you left to…you know” he said before pulling out a white braided bracelet with red stones braided into it. “It’s pegasi hair…from your home” he said holding it out to James. “I enchanted it to glow if I ever needed you or if something was wrong…but I…I ran away before I could give it to you” he said quietly and for the first time James notice the same bracelet on Severus’ wrist but it have green stones instead of red obviously going for house colours.

Eagerly, James took it, holding it carefully like the precious gift it was. He glanced from it to Severus. "It's amazing, thank you," he breathed, securing it around his wrist. He ran his thumb along the edge. "You really are brilliant, Sev, you know how to do so many things. You can use it any time, you know? Any time anywhere, just use it and I'll come, alright?"

Evans and Remus were on them now.

"Alright, Severus?" Lily asked jovially. "Potter," she acknowledged, before turning back to Severus. "Want to take a walk to the owlery and back Severus?"

Severus gave a small nod as he turned to Lily. “I think a walk would be good for me. If not for me I’m sure the baby would like it and it might calm my hormones down a bit if I’m lucky” he said before turning to James again. “I guess I will be going then, you should get inside and change before you catch a cold James. You would be any good to anyone if you are sick” he said giving James a smile.

James nodded, knowing when he was being dismissed. "If you need me, just call me, alright?" he said a final time, before nodding to his friends and heading back up to the castle. 

The remaining three made their way through the grounds in silence for a moment, heading along the long, winding path that lead off toward the owlery. As they walked, however, they came across a dark, cloaked figure making his way up toward the castle. As he neared, they all stopped. "Who is that?" Lily asked, brow furrowed. It wasn't a teacher. Perhaps it was someone's parent? As the figure drew closer, Remus' face paled and he tightened his grip around Lily's hand, clasping the back of Severus' sleeve as he realised who it was.

"It's Tom Riddle," he murmured under his breath. "What on earth he is doing at Hogwarts?" On school grounds and nearly right where they stood. He'd seen them now, seen Severus and a slow, foreboding smile slid across his thin lips. He came to a stop in front of them.

"Good morning," he said, voice betraying nothing. His eyes scanned them each in turn before coming to rest on Severus. "Ah, Severus, it's been some time. I hadn't expected to run into you again."

“It’s…it’s good to see you again sir” he said give a small bow with his head and keeping it lowered not wanting to meet Voldermort’s and also wondering what he was doing at the school and how he had even got into the grounds. “I’ve been busy…with studies so haven’t left the castle a lot” he said as if explaining why he hadn’t been at any of the death eater meeting and he hoped that he wouldn’t be able to see his belly through his winter robs as he tried not to shake feeling Voldermort’s dark slitted eyes watching him closely as if waiting for something.

Remus shifted forward so that he was standing slightly in front of Severus and Lily, gripping both of their arms. He had never considered himself a particularly brave man, but he would be. This man before them did scare him, of course he did. With rumours of his growing power, who wouldn't be? That didn't stop him from stepping forward however.

"Might I ask how you passed through the castle's wards?" Remus asked in a clipped tone that sounded far braver than he felt.

Tom Riddle's handsome face twisted into a smile. "Ah, that is a simple answer. I have an appointment with the headmaster."

Severus’ head tilted up at Tom’s words. He had an appointment with the headmaster? But for what? Was the dark lord planning on working in the school or something, surely Dumbledore would not allow something like that he would have heard the rumours like everyone else and want to keep him away from the school to keep his students safe.

“What sort of appointment are you here for?” Lily spoke up as if hearing Severus’ questions and wanting to know the answer herself as she gave Remus’ hand a small squeeze as se looked up into the mans almost red eyes.

Tom Riddle gave Lily a dismissive sneer before settling his eyes on Severus again, as if it were him that had answered the question. "That is between me and the headmaster. But you, Severus, you're quite welcome to discuss the matter with me. Perhaps after my appointment?"

Remus felt Severus freeze and lifted his chin. "He'll do no such thing."

Riddle's smile remained, as cool and dangerous as ever. "Ah, then are the rumours misleading? Perhaps it's your child dear Severus carried and not the Potter boy's? Wolves do tend to get possessive over their own..." Remus flinched. Hardly anyone knew he was a werewolf. That Voldemort knew had stopped him short.

Severus looked at Voldemort in shock, Lucius much have told him that he was pregnant after all and he gave Remus’ had a squeeze. “No, no it’s not his…it’s…it’s Potter’s child…the next in the Potter bloodline” he said tilting his head low as that gaze bored into him.

“I…I will see you after your appointment sir” he said wanting to keep his friends safe and out of harms way from the dark lord.

"No," Remus began, but before he could say anything further, Riddle swept past them and continued up to the castle. Remus, Lily and Severus turned on the spot, watching him go warily until he was out of sight. Then the other two rounded on Severus. "Are you actually mad? You can't go to him! He could hurt you and the baby. As far as he is concerned, you deserted him. I've heard about this Riddle, Severus. He doesn't give second chances. Whether you were fully initiated or not, he won't be forgiving. You need to stay away from him."

“But if I don’t go he will hurt you both just to get to me” he said looking at the pair. “I know that it’s not safe, but I will be in the castle and Dumbledore always seems to know when something is going on so I’m sure I will be alright and as long as I don’t let him corner me out of sight it will be okay” he gave a weary smile know that somewhere inside of him that he probably would be cornered in an empty class room away from teachers and students.

"I don't understand you. How will this help us? You can't afford to be selfless right now, your son or daughter needs you to be selfish and preserve your own safety right now." Remus glanced to Lily, wondering what she thought. He sighed. "Do you want to be a death eater still?"

Severus let out a long slow sigh looking down at the lightly snow covered ground. “…I don’t know what I want anymore” he said sounding very tired and as if he had given up the will to fight against everything. “But I know I want to keep my friends safe and he just wants to talk to me…so I think it will be alright. I have never heard of him hurting or killing someone who was pregnant.”

"That doesn't mean he won't," Remus said darkly. "Not much is known about him and his so-called 'Death Eaters' but what is known is that they are trouble," Remus looked so Lily. He knew Severus was just as stubborn as James, there wasn't anything he could say to prevent Severus from going if his own common sense wouldn't stop him. "Just think - what could he possibly want with you? It can only be bad news."

“I no but…I have to go. If I don’t it will only make him mad and the next time he does see me he most defiantly wont be forgiving, I’ll be fine I’ll…I’ll put protection charms on myself and…and call for help if something does happen” he looked between the pair and saw the doubt and worry in there eyes at what Severus was going to do.

Remus sighed heavily, dragging a hand through his mousey hair in an echo of what James did often. It was a catching habit, he thought as he started forward again, leading the others back toward their destination of the owlery. No good could come with Severus meeting with Tom Riddle. One glance at Lily told him she thought the same thing.

***

Riddle hadn't told Severus where to meet him but that didn't pose much of a problem. He caught Severus walking toward the Headmaster's office like a man walking to face his sentence at the gallows. He dragged his feet and seemed lost in thought, so distant that Tom Riddle had to speak for him to notice his presence.

"Ah, Severus. Very prompt. I admire that," he said indifferently.

“I didn’t think you would want to be kept waiting my lord” he said quietly coming to a quickly halt in front of him his head lowered and his sleek black hair falling into his face half concealing it from Voldemort’s gaze.

“I hope that your meeting with Dumbledore went well sire and you got what you were looking for” he said as he knitted his gingers together and Voldemort took a step closer to him making Severus freeze up where he stood and he saw pale fingers reach out and lift his head up so that Severus was looking at him rather than the floor.

Tom Riddle's face twisted oddly with displeasure at the mention of his meeting with Dumbledore. "I can't say as I got the answer I desired. That man is bothersome. You however Severus, well, I believe our meeting may go a little more to my satisfaction." He smiled dangerously, eyes dark red and glanced around. "There is a classroom rarely used nearby if memory serves. Perhaps we could speak there?" he murmured.

Severus gave a small unseen shudder at the thought of being alone in a classroom with this ran but as he moved and placed a hand on his back Severus had know choice but to follow his lead. Severus half conceded the bracelet hanging loosely on his wrist and using it to call for James but he shook the thought from his head not wanting to get him involved.

Severus swallowed before slowly opening his mouth to speak. “My Lord…why do you…wish to speak with me?” he ask a hesitantly as they neared the door and hoping that the question might some prolong them entering it and being shut away from the rest of the castle.

Voldemort merely smiled as he stood aside, allowing Severus into the room first. For some time they just stared at each other, neither wanting to step through the door first and expose his back to the other. After a moment, however, Severus seemed to remember his manners and stepped in - glancing over his shoulder as he did so. Voldemort followed him in, closing the door behind them both. 

Remaining in front of the door so that his body blocked Severus' exit, he continued to smile with eerie false serenity. "Why, Severus, I merely wish to enquire why you seem to have had second thoughts about entering into our...social circle. But now I see that the rumours were true, this...child must be the cause of your change of heart? However did you come by it?"

‘How did he come by it?’ had the dark lord not ‘the talk’ growing up. He thought it would have been very obvious how he came by having a baby. “Well my Lord you see, Malfoy slipped something into my juice during dinner and well, I ended up like this. Although is wasn’t planned or even consented to in all standings” he said trying to stand up straight and show that he was not afraid of him even though he was.

Tom Riddle cocked his head in cool amusement, leaning back against the door as he regarded Severus. "Indeed, that certainly is a stark difference to the romantic tales the public are dreaming up. I wonder what the wizarding world would make of that? Potter raping a fellow student? Your child certainly would have stories to hear about growing up." His face twisted maliciously. He saw Severus' face go white as he realised what a mistake it was to admit that to him, to anyone he could not trust. Before he could say anything, however, Riddle added, "And I suppose that gives me an answer as to who killed dear Lucius, as well?"

“I’m afraid I don’t know who killed him my Lord. Malfoy had may enemies and in many ways Potter is grateful for that potion he slipped into my drink, he did not kill him” Severus said blank faced not giving anything away to the Dark Lord. “Also they say that he died at some party, Potter was with me that night so there is know way that he could have do it without me knowing.” 

"Ah but you both certainly do have motive," Voldemort smiled darkly. "The Ministry are positively chomping at the bit to find someone to pin the blame on - such a high profile murder. The Malfoys are very respectable family you know. Of course that fiancee of his, Narcissa might also be blamed - the world knows she was dreading the match." 

He made a show of weighing this information before Severus. "I may have no proof for accusing your precious Potter of his demise, but that paired with the knowledge that he was an obsessive rapist and father of your child? Dear, the scandal could very well be sentence enough for him, his poor frail parents and that child in your belly. Our world can be so judgemental, after all..."

“But as you said my lord there is know proof that Potter had any involvement in that unfortunate murder of the Malfoy heir except my word. Also I did not file any charges on what he did to me and we have come to an understanding over the fate of the child inside of me” he said watching Voldemort carefully as he continued to lean against the door and his only way out.

"But what you seem to fail to grasp, Severus," Riddle said slowly, dangerously, stepping forward, "is that if the wizarding world comes to know what a vile little creature your Potter is, the sheer rumour of his misgivings could well damage his future, as well as the future of his entire family - your child included." He paused, holding Severus gaze before leaning forward and pressing his hand to his stomach.

"What would you be willing to do, Severus, to protect Potter from ruin?"

Severus tried to hold back a shudder as that hand touched his stomach, even the baby didn’t seem to like it as he felt it squirm inside of him and he looked at Voldemort holding his gaze before looking down. “I…I would do anything…if it meant this child stayed safe” he said in a low quiet voice. He wanted the baby to stay safe but above all he wanted to keep James safe away from trouble. 

"Truly?" Voldemort breathed, "that is interesting. Anything." His fingers splayed across Severus' stomach. He seemed to be contemplating the possibilities. "Your skills are invaluable - a young man of your age with such formidable understanding of potion making? That is a treasure." He smiled malevolently. "I believe I will call on that promise of anything when I see fit." He pressed a little harder when the baby beneath his palm squirmed.

"I wonder if your child will be as much of an asset to me as you, dear Severus?"

Severus’ head shot up at Voldemort’s words. “Please my Lord…don’t bring her into this…this baby is a child of light” he said looking up at him and wanting to back away but he feared about what might happen if he did. “Please my Lord…this child belongs with it’s father, the deal has already been made and it could have no magic…no use to you” he said almost sounding as though he was begging and in a way he guessed he was.

Voldemort's eyes flashed darkest crimson. "You speak with reverence and worship in your voice but the words betray your thoughts, Severus. You should consider my interest in you and that child a great honour." He glanced down at where his hand lay and drew it back, stepping away so that his back was against the door once more. "Show me," he said. When Severus didn't move, didn't dare to comprehend, he repeated with a clipped tone, "Lift your shirt. I want to see her."

Humiliation and fear touched that usually impassive face and it was delicious.

Severus’ hands shook with the request and he reached for his shirt untucking it from his trousers and letting it hand there from a moment before very slowly and shakily lifting it, letting the cold white fabric slide over the skin of his extended stomach.

The action made his feel sick and the though of showing it to anyone but James made him feel even worse but if doing it meant that the baby inside him wouldn’t be harmed he would do it and he would have to be sure to somehow make it up to his bump somehow later.

Voldemort's cold, blood-red eyes scanned the image before him for some time, relishing in Severus' discomfort and humiliation. "Very nice, I think I will definitely like to meet her," he said, continuing to stare as if he could see right through Severus' skin to the said growing person within. The action made Severus shudder and Voldemort laughed darkly. "Child of light, you say? We shall see," he mused, reaching back and opening the door.

Severus quickly lowered his shirt again and held onto the bottom forcing it down even though it refused to go any lower that it already was. Why was the Voldemort so interested in James child? Did he see something in the child that was unseen and unknown by others? Or was it the simple fact that it was his and James’ child the subject of a birth from two men. Whatever it was Severus didn’t like the idea of him seeing or touching the child again.

“Will you be going now my Lord” he asked as he looked at Voldemort seeing him opening the door of the room.

Tom Riddle regarded him with dark red eyes. "For now, Severus. Rest assured I will find a way to send you word as soon as I decide what you can offer me in thanks for not causing trouble for your beloved Potter." He gave him a final, sweeping glance before leaving the room. As he did so, however, he had to side-step a flustered looking James Potter and Albus Dumbledore.

Severus watched the door for a moment before slowly falling to the floor and rubbing at his belly as he felt the baby moving obviously feeling Severus’ distress and not liking it one bit. “It’s okay he’s gone now, your alright” he said quietly before getting back to his shaky legs using one of the desks as a support before hastily tucking his shirt back into his trousers and straightening his robs again. 

James held Tom Riddle's eyes for a moment, his insides burning with rage at the cruel smile that flickered there, before the man walked away. Occupied by glaring hard at the man's back, James did not see the scene in the room beyond until Albus Dumbledore was completely inside and was laying a hand on Severus' shoulder. "Severus, my dear boy? Are you quite alright?"

James watched, frozen with fear and anger both in the doorway. Remus and Evans had come and told him that Severus was planning on meeting with Riddle and not knowing where Severus could be, James had gone to the Headmaster. He saw now that he was not mistaken to do so. Severus always responded to Dumbledore, for some reason.

"Do you think you can stand?" Dumbledore asked Severus softly.

“Yes, I’m alright” he said trying to give a reassuring smile as if nothing had just happened in the old empty classroom. “But I…I think I would like to go back to my room for the day if that’s alright…the baby is really putting up a fuss and is making me feel a little sick” he said looking at Dumbledore and even as he did his skin seemed to be paling and the bags under his eyes showed more darkly than before.

“I also haven’t been getting any sleep at all the last few days…I think I want to try and get some if I can” he said before fiddling well his bracelet absently before it let off a light glow causing James’ to do the same.

"Of course. I am gravely sorry for not realising Mr Riddle would accost you," Dumbledore said softly. "I had not realised he had stumbled upon you prior to our meeting until Mr Potter here, burst into my office in quite a panic." The old man smiled softly. "He has quite an ingenious map that allowed us to find you remarkably quickly. He was quite worried about you." 

The old man glanced back to James before offering his arm to help Severus stand. "Rest assured that Tom Riddle will not be invited back into the wards of this school, you have my word on that, Severus."

“But he didn’t do anything to me headmaster, he just wanted to talk” he said talking the offered hand and getting shakily to his feet again and stumbling slight as he saw James about to make a move to catch him before stopping himself. “I’m really alright the pair of you didn’t have to worry so much” he said looking from James to Dumbledore as he rubbed at the side of his belly trying to stop the baby moving around so much.

"Ah, yes," Dumbledore murmured, "but sometimes words can hurt us far more than actions, is that not so?" He didn't wait for an answer to his question. "All the same, Mr Riddle will not be allowed back inside the wards. Mr Potter? Would you be so good as to escort Severus back to his chambers while I ensure our guest has indeed left the grounds?" Without so much as a backward glance at the pair of them, he brusquely departed.

James studied Severus' pale face, his slightly erratic breathing and grit his teeth. "What did that bastard Riddle say to you?" he murmured darkly.

“Nothing. He didn’t anything James really so just leave it okay” he said looking up into James eyes. “I just want to go back to my room now” his eyes pleaded with James as he held onto a corner of him robs using him as an almost life line to keep him standing up and not fall to the ground again and throw up.

“You can stay with me…if you want to” he said in a small and slightly shaking voice as he stepped closer to James.

James' hands shook as they gripped Severus' forearms. He wanted to pull him close but forced himself to remember his promise to wait for Severus to cross that line, to instigate each step forward. "I wish I could be there to protect you all the time," he breathed quietly, knowing how obsessed he might sound, how...unhinged, especially given what he had done to protect him from Malfoy.

The most frightening part was, he felt torn. He'd taken life, that was eating a gaping hole inside him, guilt so severe it was light a tide of searing acid in his gut, a tight, clenching fist around his lungs. But he also knew that if he'd not done it, his daughter and Severus would have suffered more at Malfoy's hand - for the bastard was too powerful for the Ministry to ever take down, his family gold and name far too valuable. Yes, it had been the only way. So why did he feel guilty about that?

"Do you want me to stay with you because you want me with you? Because you're afraid or because you think you should offer, to make me feel better?" he asked seriously.

“I want you there” he said quietly as he leaned his head forward and letting it rest on James’ chest. “I want you there James” he said with his voice sounding a shaking as the words past his lips and felt the hands on his forearms tighten slightly before slacking again.

“I…I haven’t slept at all since I locked you out…I just want you with me for a while” he said reaching out and gripping onto James’ robs as he lightly breathed in his scent the smell making him feel calm and sleepy.

Slowly, giving Severus ample chance to push him away, James wrapped his arms gingerly around Severus' shoulders. "You ran away from me because I suffocated you, because I frightened you. I never want to do that again," he breathed against the other man's hair. "You have to tell me if there's something you need, that you want. I don't want to push you..." He grit his teeth again and pulled back just enough that he could see Severus' face. "I'm not the best person. I have done things, Sev, things that I... I killed Malfoy, I raped you. I want to make amends for that. I don't want you to be afraid of me."

Slowly raising his head Severus looked up at James before lowering on of the hands holding onto James’ robs and took his hand. “Right now…I just want you to sleep next to me James…I got so used to having to sleep right next to me that I now cant sleep without you…and I just feel so tired” his voice was so weak towards the end that he wondered if James had heard his word but the small squeeze of his hand hold him that he hand.

“I know you have your patrols tonight…but after will you come back to my room when you are done?” He asked looking at him with hopeful eyes. “This is all I need from you right now James.”

“I’ll be there,” James breathed in a rush. It was all he could do not to lean forward and press his lips to Severus’. He wanted to so much. Reluctantly, he forced himself to squeeze Severus’ hand to express his feelings and slowly, drew back. “I’ll walk you back to your room, then I’ll come back to you later.”

His chest felt tight still, his lungs constricted by confusion and emotion, yet his heart was hammering with excitement. Slowly but surely, Severus was letting him back in.

“C’mon,” he urged softly. 

Severus held onto James’ hand not wanting to let him go as they left the empty class room and headed back towards his room quietly before Severus glanced up at him. “I…I put a stases charm on the rabbit…I know you said you had trouble sleeping without me. I thought if you had something with my smell on it might help you sleep” he said wanting to say something to James to break the silence, their foot steps the only sound in the empty corridors. 

***

It was sod’s law that Head Boy duties kept him later that night than usual. He cursed the infuriating little third years who thought they could sneak down to the kitchens unnoticed. Any other night it might have amused him – he’d done it often enough himself after all in the past. Tonight though, he wanted things over with, quickly. 

After a quick shower he made his way quickly down to Severus’ rooms, hoping that the other boy wouldn’t be annoyed that he was a little late. The look on Severus’ face as he opened the door to him however was not annoyance. It was relief. 

“You didn’t think I’d come?” James asked with a small smile.

“Well I was starting to doubt a bit I will admit” he said placing his book down on a large pile next to his bed before shifting uncomfortable in bed. “I guess you had a lot happening tonight, I never remember you being out so long” he smiled as his legs moved over the side of the bed and he stood, moving over to his desk to pick up a glass of water he had left there as James watched him his long pale legs showing beneath his white night shirt.

“Sorry I’m making you do this but if Madame Pomfrey finds out I haven’t slept in over a week I know she will force potion’s into me” Severus gave a weary smile to James before heading back over to the bed and sitting on the edge of it letting out a sigh as though exhausted from the small move across the room. 

James cocked his head and regarded Severus from the door. Somehow he looked even more slender and vulnerable with his legs bare and his hair soft and damp from his own shower. “You’re not making me do anything,” James said, “I’d gladly spend the night with you, whatever you wanted. I want to help you. I want to be with you.” He flushed darkly as he realised what he had just said and cleared his throat, occupying himself with taking off his shoes and robe.

When the cherry hue finally receded from his cheeks, he met Severus’ eyes again, only to find Severus watching him avidly as if stunned by his words.

Severus watched James stunned for a movement before turning away and reaching under the sheets as if in search of something before pulling out a small fluffy dragon plush before glancing at James and seeing his raised brow. “I thought if I had something in bed next to me it would help me sleep…but it didn’t work” he said placing it down on the side table and reaching back to rub at his back.

“I guess I can only sleep if there is actually someone there next to me…but I’m not one for just inviting anyone into my bed” he said with his cheek tinted pink with a blush as he shifted on his bed and rubbed at his back more trying to reach as much of it as he could. 

James smiled broadly, stepping closer to Severus, giving him ample opportunity, once again to put space between them if he desired. But Severus didn’t seem to want distance between them. Not much anyway. He missed me, James thought hopefully.

“So I’m a special case?” he mused, reaching around and pressing his thumbs into the curve of Severus’ back where he’d been rubbing frustrated. Immediately, Severus groaned in relief. “So am I?” James prompted, pressing firmly into the sore, tense muscles.

“You know you are” Severus mused quietly as his body seemed to sway with James’ rubs before he looked up at his obsidian eyes looking up into James’ brown ones. “Thank you for being here with me tonight” he smiled seeming to look into James’ eyes for a long time before letting out a hiss as James touched a very rough and sore muscle in his back and he rested his head on James’ shoulder. For a moment he thought he was going to kiss James and he wondered if he hadn’t touched that muscle would he have? 

“Any time,” James promised softly. He felt Severus’ tight muscles crunch under his touch and smiled at the sound of pained satisfaction and relief that shuddered from those lips. “Better?” he asked. He felt more than saw Severus nod and slid his hands up his back to his shoulders. There he rolled his fingers and palms across the tense flesh and massaged until he relaxed.

“You should get into bed before you drop where you stand,” James murmured, feeling Severus growing steadily more limp and sleepy against him.

“I think you might be right about that” he said slowly sliding onto the bed a little more before putting his legs under the warm blankets and resting his head back on the pillows beneath him as he waited for James to climb in next to him. “It really means a lot to me that you are here James…both of us” he said feeling around carefully under the blanket before finding James’ hand and placing it on his belly as the baby gave a small move to the touch.

“Would it be okay if I moved a little closer to you?” he asked hesitantly as he looked at James and the and the lamp on his bedside table dimmed before going out leaving nothing but the moonlight coming in though the window as there only light.

James nodded breathlessly, pulling an arm round Severus' shoulders as the man snuggled closer into his side, his cheek resting just where his collarbone met shoulder. Resting his chin on Severus' head, James basked in the feel of the familiar body against his and felt his own body sink into the bed, relaxed. One hand stroked the baby absently and the other toyed with the ends of Severus' hair. 

"I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you at Christmas," James said quietly after some time. "With what happened with Malfoy, with what I...admitted to you." He swallowed. "I hope the latter didn't scare you too much more than the first?"

Severus gave a light shake of his head the tips of his hair brushing against James’ skin. “It did overwhelm me a bit…to hear you say those words to me. But I shouldn’t have run away from you like I did…when I did” he said lifting his head to look at James. “And I must admit…I did sort of miss you in these last few weeks. Everything just seemed a little…strange, without you there but it was nice in some ways to…But I think I missed this the most having you next to me in bed and holding me” he said as the moonlight in the room showed his smile.

James longed to push for more, to try and decipher Severus' reasons behind those feelings he touched on - but reminded himself to not push too hard. He would be satisfied that Severus wanted him around, truly wanted his closeness for its own reasons. For now. It was more than he deserved.

"Evans told me it was probably for the best, our time apart," he said. "She said it would give both of us the space we needed to think about what we both truly wanted. You're...you're more forward than you were before. I suppose her ideas has some merit."

“Yes, I guess it does” Severus said with a small airy laugh as this leg touched James’ under the sheet and he pulled it back a little started before moving back again. “Lily always was smart when it came to these sorts of things. I think it’s all those romance novels and movies she watches” he smiled gently rubbing his leg against James’ not even realizing that he was doing it.

James felt oddly shy with Severus legs brushing against his - such a simple, unsexual action and yet it reached him deep down in warm, personal place. Clearing his throat, he struggled to find the words to best express what he wanted to ask. "Sev, I... I know you want to try and leave this all behind once the baby is here but I..." He chewed the inside of his mouth indecisively. "I wondered if you might...if you'd try..." He ran a hand frustratedly through his own hair. "Would you give me a chance? At being your...you know, boyfriend? Just a chance. Just...try."

Severus blinked a few times as he looked at James wondering if he had heard right, had James just asked his to be his boyfriend? Severus had a hard enough time just excepting that he had said that he loved him and now this. He lowered his head a fraction so he wasn’t looking at James and seeing whatever emotion was showing in his eyes. “I…I don’t know James” he said quietly, he really just wanted James to get the baby as far away from him as possible especially now the dark lord had his eyes on it for some reason.

The hand that had been toying with Severus' hair now cupped the back of Severus' neck, stroking softly. James tilted his own head back a fraction to look into Severus' face, only just visible thanks to the moonlight streaming in through the windows. "Just try?" he asked, voice quiet and breathless, adorably eager. Then, he pressed on. "We had fun together at Christmas didn't we? We work, I don't know how but we just do."

“But we shouldn’t work” Severus said looking up at James. “We are complete opposites in every sense and are baby would be a lot safer with just you in its life” he said looking at James as his hands touched his chest and his lay there softly. “I know that you want this to work James I really do…but I don’t see how it can.”

"The best things in life aren't easy," James said simply. "Isn't it always said that opposites attract? But we are similar in the ways that matter." He frowned. "You want it to work too, you do, I can see it. You're just too scared to try." James stared into those dark eyes. "You have all the power here, over what happens. I'm just hanging on, desperate for you to give this a chance."

Severus sat up in bed letting the blankets rest on his lap as he looked down at James. “If…If I did give it a chance…and it didn’t work out. Would you stop trying to convince me otherwise?” he asked running a hand over his cheek and the trail a finger over his soft lips as he looked into James’ eyes.

James' breath caught in his lungs, his eyes bright and hopeful. "I would try my hardest to make it work and if you chose to end it, I would never stop trying to keep you involved in our daughter's life but yes, if you decided I wasn't what you wanted as a...boyfriend, I'd respect that decision." He held that gaze. "I'd never force you to do anything. Not ever again."

“That’s all I want to hear” Severus said placing his hands either side of James’ head and letting then sink into the pillows. “That’s all” he whispered before leaning down and gently pressing his lips to James before pulling back and letting his lips skim over James a James a few times before sitting up more his hair draped over his shoulders in a curtain of black shining silk.

James' entire body tensed and arched, shuddering as if touched with electric current. He felt like crying it was so good, Severus leaning over him, taking a kiss from him without any provocation or hint. Feeling wanted by the person he was so desperate for. He groaned into the kiss, reaching up and knotting his fingers in Severus' hair. The other hand slid down Severus' back, caressing every scar on the way through the thin fabric of his shirt.

"Say yes," James breathed between kisses, massaging those lips with his own, tongue darting inside to slide gently, wetly against Severus'.

Severus let his tongue slide against James’ before pulling back and letting out a hot breath. “Not yet” he breathed as he sat up and moved the sheets as he moved to sit on James hips as he looked down at him his hands resting on James’ chest and gentle touch at his warming skin.

James chuckled breathlessly and slid his hands along those thighs, up over those hips, thumbs skimming the slightly rounded shape of his belly. Their cocks rested together, growing harder and he rocked upwards slightly, playfully. "Say yes," he urged, smiling, reaching up to roll the pads of his thumbs over two pert nipples. He pinched gently. Severus hissed above him in pleasure. He was more sensitive than usual.

Severus gasped as his head tipped back slowly and he pushed his chest out to James’ taunting fingers. “I wont say yes…until you say it” he said looking down at James as he reached for him shirt pulling it slowly up over his body showing his hips, belly, chest and collar bone before it was removed leaving Severus’ skin glowing in the moonlight of the room and he let out hot heavy breaths.

“Say that you want me James” he breathes rocking his hips against James and letting out a small breathy moan of delight at the friction against his bare skin. 

James panted. "Oh, bloody hell I want you," he growled, "you have no idea how much." he surged up into his elbows, tugging Severus down at the same time to bring their lips together in a slow but firm, sensual slide of tongue and lips. Again, Severus drew back, a young, mischevous glint in his eyes. The sight of it made James so hard it hurt.

He groaned. "I want you, Severus. I want you. Say yes, give me a chance, please."

Severus smiled as he leaned down letting his hot breaths caress James’ lips and letting his lips linger just above his making it seem a few times that he would lean in and kiss him only to draw back a his lips skimmed the surface of James’ before moving closer to his ear and panting out a hot breath against it as his grinned against James. “…yes.”

James practically snarled in bliss, turning his head and seizing those lips. He gripped Severus' hair, not letting him escape the kiss this time. "Tell me," he panted, lashing that tongue with own. They slid together wetly, with bruising force. Equal on both sides. "Tell me what you want me to do, I'll do anything. Tell me what will drive you mad with bliss." 

He flexed his hips and their cocks pressed together. Impatiently, he reached between them to shove his own trousers down his legs, kicking them off entirely when they reached his ankles. His underwear quickly followed, then his shirt. He attacked those lips again as soon as he was naked, unwilling to separate for more than moments at a time. "Tell me," he murmured into that mouth.

“I want you…I want to feel you all over me” he panted as he drew James into almost sitting position. “I want you to kiss my neck…and run your hands along my back and run you fingers though my hair as you kiss me” he breathed as he put his arms over James’ shoulders and leaned in kissing him deeply as he moved his hips grinding his and James’ hard erections together as they moaned into the kiss.

“I want you to feel all of me James…just take me, do what you want” he panted as he looked at James with lust in his obsidian eyes.

Like an animal unleashed, James rolled them over so his body was crouched over Severus'. He caressed that tongue with his own, a hand gripping that hair tightly again as the other slid down Severus' back, nails scraping gently, teasingly over the sensitive marks there. His lover arched into him, crying out against his mouth.

"Mmmm, Sev, that's it, make noises for me," he whispered, squeezing a firm arse-cheek before allowing his hand to glide back up to caress the scars again. He broke the kiss, holding Severus' hair so that the man could not arch up to follow his mouth when it moved away. A small grunt of negation sounded at that and James chuckled.

"What would you like best?"

“I like it all…but I especially like this” he smirked reached down and grasping at James’ cock as he let out a startled gasp and moan. “And I like the way you were pulling at my hair just then…taking control of me” he panted and let out a shudder of excitement.

“I want you to go wild with me…I want you to take me like some bitch in heat…I’m so hot right now and the only one who can quell this burning heat is you…only you” he breathed as he let go of James’ cock and tilted his hips up to James as Severus let out a small growl as he arched his body to James’. 

James smiled and growled back playfully, tugging gently at the dark locks in his grasp just enough to make that mouth open with a gasp. He leant down and licked inside that open mouth - just licked, not allowing their mouths to touch. 

Snatching up Severus' wand from the side table, he transfigured one of their fallen garments into something he suspected Severus would not recognise. He smiled at the man's confusion when he wrapped the transfigured strap of soft, supple leather around Severus' cock and balls. It was tight and Severus squirmed but did not protest - especially not when a small round egg-shaped attachment began to vibrate deliciously against his perineum.

"Good?" James asked huskily. With another flick of Severus' wand he transfigured another stray item into a much more suggestive shape. Though he'd doubtless never seen one before, James knew from the way Severus' tongue darted over his own lips that he could guess what it was for.

The phallic shape he'd transfigured was dark red and slightly bigger than his own cock. It had a more pronounced, flared tip that would catch just right inside. Setting Severus' wand aside, he reached for the squat jar of lubricant that he knew (from past experiences) that Severus kept in the side drawer and spread the clear fluid leisurely over the cock-shaped toy. His wrist movements were suggestive and made Severus' flush darken.

"Good?" James repeated sexily, thumb teasing the head of the phallus suggestively. Severus' cock, he noticed was dripping, quivering with the vibrations coursing through it. "Do you want this?" James stroked the fake cock again. "Want me to fuck you with it while you suck me?"

Severus panted at he looked at the item in James’ hand before moving to sit and he looked at James. “Yes…yes I want it” he breathed moving so that he was on his hands and knees with his legs spread apart and he crawled closer to James. “I want you to do things to me” he breathed against James’ bare skin as he gave a gentle nip to his belly and he trailed down over his belly button and over the light spattering of dark hair before stopping and stroking at James’ cock feeling a little unsure about if he wanted James’ cock in his mouth.

“You want me to suck you here?” he asked taking a hold of James cock and pumping it in his hand as he panted and let out gentle moans as the vibrations that were pleasuring his body.

"Hmmm," James groaned, "wait - wait." He slid down onto his back, tugging Severus over him with just enough force to make the other man gasp in pleasure. He liked it a little bit rough, it seemed. James grinned when he thought about how bold Severus was being. It really was the best kind of aphrodisiac.

Now his cock was hard and twitching under Severus' chin, Severus' leads spread above James' head, his own cock and balls purpled with the glorious torture they were receiving. He could see everything. He liked that.

"I like this angle," James murmured and slid one hand along Severus' back. He slid the wet head of the fake red phallus gently across Severus' unprepared, twitching hole. Just letting him feel the sheer size of the head. "I'm going to open you up with my tongue and fingers, then I'm going to fuck you with this naughty little toy. Would you like that? Will you show me how much you want it?" he rocked his hips suggestively so that the head of his cock just scraped Severus' chin.

“I…I would rather have you” he breathed but as he did his body tilted and rubbed up against the toy in James hand as he let out a groan of delight before dipping his head down and rubbing at James’ cock with his cheek caressing almost lovingly before letting his touch travel the length and receiving a moan for his action.

“Do you want me to take you with my mouth?” he asked sexually as his tongue lapped at the hot skin and felt it give a jerk in his hold. 

James gave a shuddering laugh. "I want it," then he added seriously, "you don't have to if you don't want to."

Leaving that there for Severus to decide, he dragged his fingers through the pot of lubricant and stretched up to drag his tongue across Severus' hole. "Hmmm you're so pink and soft here, did this little place miss me?" he panted, teasing it with just the tip of his finger against the entrance, circling round and round - quickly joined by his tongue, which copied the movements.

The soft hum of the vibrator against Severus' perineum and the man's sharp gasp were music to his ears.

“Yes…hmm…I missed you there” he hummed half pushing back against James’ tormenting finger and tongue before he allowed his tongue to glide over the tip of James’ erection gaining his own moan of pleasure in return.

“Nice to see I have such an effect on you. Mr Potter” he said with a grin as he looked back at James before dipping his head back down and lapping at the tip of his hard erection again. 

"I do like it when you're cocky," James chuckled, rolling his hips from side to side in an attempt to alleviate the urge to thrust up. Severus wouldn't appreciate being choked during his first blow job. His cock felt like it was melting. Just at the right moment, he slid an entire finger in, feeling a deep groan against the head of his prick. 

"Mmmm, how many fingers do you think it'll take to get you ready for this?" he dragged the slick dildo against Severus' quivering, trapped bollocks.

Severus gripped at the bed sheets with one hand while the other balled into a fist on James’ thigh as he let out a shuddering breath and moaned. “I…I can do it now…please just take me” he panted, hot breaths gliding over James cock before Severus took it slowly into his mouth and hummed around it, it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be and he quickly found himself travelling the length of James and picking up the pace now and then with delighted hums as he heard James moan out in pleasure.

"Mnhh!" James grunted, unable to grasp coherent words. It felt so good, Severus' mouth around him, sucking tentatively. "I think I need to stretch you a bit more, you're so tight down here," he said, sliding another finger in. The digits squirmed round, caressing that place inside with taunting strokes. James rolled his head to the side to pant against Severus' thigh. He groaned against the flesh. 

"Mmmm, flick your tongue over the head when it's in your mouth - against the underside - that's - oh my fucking god!" He couldn't help it, he bit Severus' thigh in release of his ecstasy, toes curling, the two fingers buried in that tight arse spreading in reward for the pleasure he was receiving. "So fucking good. More please!"

Severus smiled around his mouthful as he sucked a little hard and being rewards with the salty taste of James’ pre-emission and he used at free hand to touch and caress his balls in his hands as he listened to a gasp escape James’ lips and Severus gave a hum of satisfaction before releasing James cock with a gasp as he felt a third finger slide inside of him. “Ahhh…James please…don’t tease me so I cant standing it” he panted leaning down and nuzzling at James thigh as he used the hand that wasn’t on James’ balls to stroke at his own throbbing cock.

“Please James” he panted before sitting up and taking his into his mouth again with pleasured groans as he sucked and played with everything within his reach and feeling James’ balls tighten if he touched them in just the right way.

James groaned, three fingers buried in Severus now and thrusting in and out, stretching his pink opening taut, drenching his insides with lubricant. His wrist was flicking faster, teasing and playing with him until Severus' hips were rocking back into his hand.

"You like that?" James breathed, "You like me playing with your hot little bum? Tell me Severus, tell me while you're licking my cock?"

“I…I like it” he panted licking the length of James’ cock and pushing his hips back to James. “Please…I can’t take all this teasing James…I feel like I might pass out” he breathed as he stroked James’ cock and balls and his own cock gave a jerk of wanting, wanting to feel Severus quiver more in excitement and pleasure.

James beamed, holding Severus open wide just long enough to make him pant in embarrassment. "I can see right inside you, you know? So pink and hungry." That tugged a whine from Severus' throat. It was so delicious around his cock. James groaned, withdrawing his fingers and pressing the flared head of the fake cock against Severus' loose hole. Lubricant oozed out around the dark red shape as he pressed in.

The head popped through and Severus' entire body shook with spasms, his cock leaking pre-come down the cock strap. 

"Mmm, you like that," James noted, "I can feel you gripping it. You should see how dirty it looks down here - you're swallowing it up so greedily." He pushed in and with one long, slow movement, the entire thing was seated in Severus' arse. "It's bigger than I am. Bigger than anything you've ever had up there. How'd you like it?"

“Don’t…don’t say things like that” Severus blushed at James’ words but he couldn’t stop his hips from moving against the fake cock that was taking him so deeply and stretching him wide as he groaned.

“It’s…it’s so big” he panted breathlessly before looking back at James. “If you’re not careful…I might end up liking this more that you…the feeling of having something bigger and fuller inside in” he said almost taunting James in the hopes he would take him himself.

James grinned wickedly, reaching around blindly for Severus' wand again. He gave the fake cock a tap and it began to move, to thrust unrelentingly into Severus of its own accord, freeing up James' hand to caress Severus' back and thighs, his hair, his weeping, trapped prick.

"Mmmm, with the way your worshipping my cock now I think it's still top of your list of favourite things," he chuckled breathlessly. One hand stroking Severus' cock generously, riding the waves of Severus' undulating body, he gripping his own dripping erection and slapped it teasingly against his lover's cheek. "Come on, tell me how much you like it? What's it like in your mouth?" He rubbed the tip against Severus' lips, smearing pre-come there.

“It’s…it’s so big and thick” he purred darting his tongue out to lick the tip of James’ cock as it travelled over his lips. “It’s hand to breath when it’s inside me…in my mouth…or in here” he said giving a slight moan as he reached back and stroked on of the cheeks on his arse.

"I think you like it a lot, don't you?" James breathed, feeding it through Severus' lips slowly, hissing when that tongue lashed the leaking slit. The fake cock in Severus' arse was pounding him frantically now, making Severus positively quiver above him. James sucked Severus' trapped, swollen balls into his mouth, soaking them with saliva and drinking in the dirty sounds coming from Severus' mouth and his slick, abused arse.

"Maybe one day after the baby is born I'll slide my cock in your arse at the same time as this toy?" he teased. Severus just groaned at the image and James smiled, gently pushing Severus off him. He staggered off the bed and gestured to side he stood closest to. "I want you to stand in front of me and bend over the bed, spread your arse for me."

Severus panted with a blush but slowly climbed off the bed and stood in front of James looking up at his before leaning up and kissing him deeply before the sound of there parting lips filled the room and he turned around placing his hands on the bed and bending over with his legs wide apart as he tried not to lay down on his belly and half wondering in the back of his mind how the baby was handling all this before pushing the thought away.

“What are you going to do to me” he gasped as the toy in his ass seemed to move faster and he let out a moan of pleasure as he gripped at the bed sheets beneath him. In this position he hoped James would take pity on him and remove the toy, taking him himself and trying to ignore the lingering thought of James maybe hitting him with something on his arse.

After casting a quick cushioning charm on Severus' belly, just in case, James laid his hands on Severus' buttocks, squeezing and spreading them almost painfully. As he did so, Severus' slick hole struggled to hold onto the thrusting fake cock. James grinned. "You have no idea how sexy this looks." 

Running his hands across Severus' bare back, revelling at the trust the other man still had in him, he traced the quivering entrance around the toy. "I think you need a real cock, don't you? You're not satisfied with just a toy?" He loved it when Severus was naughty with him, carefree and playful. He watched Severus' fingers tighten where they held his own buttocks open.

“Its not the same” he panted. “It’s not the same as having a real one inside of me…only you know all the best pointing inside of me to hit…hmm…how I like it” he hummed giving a shudder as he felt James’ hands caressing his arse and teasing his entrance around the toy.

“Please James…I want you to take me…and I want this off” he moaned rubbing his trapped cock against the bed, feeling the restraints grow tighter as he became more and more excited.

"You're so good," James breathed, slapping Severus' arse, relishing in the way his arse clenched as sucked the fake cock in deeper. "Don't you like the vibrator on your prick?" he asked. "A little sensitive, hmm?" When Severus only groaned, James seized the bottom of the thrusting phallus and dragged it, slowly out of Severus' arse. 

That pink hole clenched around nothing, empty, wanting to be filled. He slapped Severus' arse again, massaging his cheeks to make that entrance twitch again, waiting for Severus to answer.

“I…I only like it when you’re inside of me…not some toy” he panted as he quivered at the slap to his arse half fearing it and half liking it at the same time as his body ached for contact and feel of James’ skin against his.

“James…please my body is aching so much…please take me, hold me, touch me. I cant stand it” he shuddered want, needing James so badly he thought he might break apart at any moment. 

"Your voice makes me want to burst where I'm standing," James confided huskily, reaching down and caressing Severus' belly gently, before flicking the strap off Severus' swollen cock and balls. James massaged them gently, his thumb swiping across the wet tip before pumping him generously. At the same time with his other hand he slapped his own cock teasingly against Severus' entrance.

"Keep talking to me while I fuck you," he urged heatedly, guiding the tip of his cock to Severus' entrance. He slid his cock across the puckered opening, watching Severus' body squirm eagerly before he slid just the tip inside. He waited. "Come on, push back. Take my cock for yourself."

Severus panted before eagerly pushing back against James and letting out a loud moan of pleasure as his body swallowed him whole and he grinded his arse up against him letting out pants and moans of delight.

“So good…so good…much better than that toy” he panted moving forward letting James hard cock slide almost out of him before moving back against it again. “Move James…Please, I want you to fuck me…I want you to take me so bad” he moaned tightening the muscles around James cock as he moved before loosening them again gaining his a satisfying moan from James’ lips.

James gripped Severus' hips, caressing them appreciatively, his hands sliding round to stroke that bump, then his arse cheeks, then his hips once more, repeating the process over and over, touching Severus everywhere as he began to rock his hips back. Back and forth, he jerked his hips up just right to grind against Severus' prostate. "Nice?" he breathed when Severus groaned and shuddered on the bed, resting his forehead on his folded arms, pushing back to meet James' thrusts.

"You're so hot inside, feels like I'm melting..."

Severus groaned as he pushed back against James quickly and hearing there skin smack together. “Its been so long…feels so nice” he panted out as his hands reached back and took a hold of James’ hands on his hips. “Fuck me James, I want you to fuck me…I don’t know how much more I can stand” he cried pushing his arse up against James and grinding against him.

"Mmm I'll give it to you," James panted, his rough hands sliding up Severus' back, gripping his shoulders to pull him back into every roll of his hips. "Don't worry." With the other hand, he reached beneath them, squeezing Severus' swollen, desperate cock, urging him closer to climax. He wouldn't last much longer himself. It had been too long - he wanted Severus too much.

"Do you want me to come in you? Want me to let it all out inside your arse?"

If Severus had been in the right frame of mind he would have found this an odd and very embarrassing question but in that moment all thoughts were blown from his mind in a swirl of excitement and passion.

“Yes! Let it all out inside me. I want to feel you deep in m arse!” Severus cried out as he gripped at the sheets and moaned wildly into the room and bed. 

"Dirty boy," James purred, leaning down across Severus' back as he fucked him, hard and fast, deliciously sweet, pounding the hot spot in Severus' arse until he was crying out continuously. He growled against the back of Severus' neck, jerking his lover's cock faster now, more urgently.

"Oh, Merlin, I'm going to - can't-"

“James Ahh! Let it out…let it out inside of me!” he moaned lifting his head and turning it as he put his arm around James neck and kissed him deeply as there bodies writhed together in bliss.

“James I…I cant last…much long, it to amazing!” he moaned before pushing himself roughly back against James called his name in a loud moan as he came in James’ hand and on the sheets as the tight rig of muscles around James cock tightened and his head starting to spin with dizzying pleasure.

"F-F-Fuck!" James grunted, "You're fucking - squeezing me - milk me dry...!" With that he sucked hard at Severus' throat and slammed his hips forwards once more, into the hot, clenching wetness of Severus' body. There he spilled his pleasure deep in Severus' body, holding him close as he rode out the shudders of their bodies. "Severus," he whispered against the bruised skin of Severus' neck.

Severus let out low pants as he tried to catch his breath. “James” he breathed before falling flat against the bed suddenly the weeks with know sleep were starting to catch him up. “Did you miss me?” he asked in a whisper his mind starting to make know sense as he as he came down from his pleasured high and his sleep depravity making him very truthful and need.

James kissed the brewing love-bite on his lover's neck and eased them both more comfortably onto the bed, drawing the sheets up over them both. "I missed you," James whispered, brushing those dark locks from Severus's face so that he could better see him, before letting his hand rest on his belly.

They laid quietly for some time, in which James alternately watched Severus' face and the place where his own hand splayed across his pale, growing stomach. "Severus?" he murmured quietly, hesitantly. There was so much to say, so many things he longed to know but...he'd sworn he wouldn't push too far too soon. He was standing by that. He would wait. He owed Severus more than just a little patience. "Where do you want to go on our first date?" he whispered, playful and sleepy at once.

Severus took an inhale of breath his eyes already closed in half sleep his mind a complete tired blank as he answered not even really aware that he was talking. “I want us to got out something to eat…and to talk about anything…everything…and I wasn’t us to sit and watch the sun go down across the lake as we hold hand” he breathed as he nuzzled at his pillow and moved closer to James.

“That would make me…really happy James.”

James smiled against Severus' hair and inhaled deeply. "That sounds nice," he admitted, flushing a little as he thought about holding hands. Something so comparably innocent yet...

"Does this mean you're my boyfriend then?" he mused sleepily, his own eyelids drooping even as he continued to smile.

“I don’t know” he murmured as he nuzzled up under James’ chin and feeling him nuzzle into his hair and stroke his belly. “I never dated anyone before…I don’t know…what’s it’s like to be in a relationship with someone…but I will be…if you want me that way.”

"I want you in every way," James mumbled, losing his battle for conciousness. "Never had a boyfriend before, s'nice," he said and thought he heard Severus reply, but sleep took him before he could make sense of it.

Severus inhaled a breath as he stirred late the next morning and sat up in bed seeing the time was already 1 in the afternoon he must have needed sleep more that he thought. He looked down at the side of the bed seeing know sign of James and guess that he must have been in class at that point as he should have been. Checking his wrist band he saw he had 1 hour before his appointment in the hospital wing to check the baby and find out if it was alright and what they were having, he wondered if he should call James and remind him about today but he shook his head choosing not to bother him with things as he climbed out of bed a little weak in the knees and making his way to the bathroom to get ready for the day before heading down to the hospital wing an hour later.

Walking down the corridor that he had walked down hundreds of times before somehow seemed very scary and nerve racking today thinking about that he would find out behind those large double doors. He finally came to a stop in front of them and took in a deep breath trying to steady himself, he could do this without James he was sure he could. Taking another deep breath he opened the door and walked inside.

James was already leaning sitting on the edge of one of the bed, swinging his legs distractedly. Pomfrey was behind him, busying herself by pulling out one of the privacy screens to set around the bed when Severus laid down on it. The sound of the door opening made them both glance up. James smiled and hopped off the bed as Severus closed the door behind him.

"Hi sleeping beauty, I was wondering if you'd wake up in time. I couldn't wake you for the life of me this morning. Thought maybe you and the baby needed sleep so I left you. Didn't think you'd sleep this late though." He approached Severus before the man could walk much further into the room. "You alright?"

“I’m alright…just a little nervous about today…and still a little tired if I’m honest, I guess I still haven’t caught up on all my missed sleep” he said with a small yawn before looking at James. “And um…sorry about last night, I invited you to stay in my room for the night just to sleep next to me…I guess my body had other things in mind than just trying to sleep” he said with a blush finding it hand to look at James.

James glanced back over his shoulder, one quick look confirming that Madam Pomfrey hadn't heard Severus' hushed words. He flushed as he looked on Severus all the same, feeling distinctly shy seeing him now after last night. They'd both been so...unrestrained with each other.

Slowly, riddled with nerves, he reached forward and took Severus' hand, caressing his knuckled as he did so. "Don't apologise. It was perfect," he whispered, hoping that Severus wasn't having second thoughts about the 'boyfriend' part of last night.

Severus looked down at his and James’ hands and raised a bowl not understanding why he was holding his hand and seeming so affectionate towards him. “Um…why are you holding my hand?” he asked before shaking his head. “Never mind it doesn’t matter…I guess I won’t be seeing you for a few nights now anyway” he said slowly taking his hand from James’.

James frowned, dropping Severus' hand slowly, reluctantly, a pang of hurt in his chest. He took a step back. "Why won't you?" he asked uncertainly. He glanced back at Pomfrey again, but she was still glancing over some paperwork, not paying them any attention. "You don't regret last night, do you?" James whispered.

“Well…no it’s just…it’s a full moon tonight and I know you have to look after Remus and keep him out of trouble so I know you wont be coming to my room for the next few night cause you stay out all night with him” he said quietly to James as he looked at him.

James blinked. He was stunned to silence. Firstly, because he'd forgotten the unspoken, monthly arrangement entirely, forgotten that it was the full moon even which hadn't happened since he, Sirius and Wormtail had discovered Remus' secret. Secondly, that Severus remembered when he had not. Then he recalled how much time Severus had been spending with Remus lately.

"I completely forgot," he said sheepishly, running a hand through his hair. "I...errr... You'll be alright for the next few nights? I'll still see you in class." It felt different somehow, having plans that didn't include Severus, now that they were...well, what he felt was 'really' together.

“I have been fine without you so far James I think I can live a few nights without you there again. Besides they need you more that I do and as you said you will be me in class, at least the classes we have together anyway” he said as Madame Pomfrey gave a small cough from across the room obviously ready for them and not wanting to be kept waiting.

Severus took a deep breath looking over at her and feeling a little shaky. “I’m really nervous about this…if anything’s wrong with it I know it will be all my fault…I never should have gone into that potions shop” he said still standing in the same spot finding it hard to lift his feet and move forward.

Pomfrey nodded understandingly at Severus' words. She'd been filled in on what had happened in Diagon Alley - somewhat, enough so that she understood the possible damage done to the baby. In the end, it was her that urge Severus forwards, wordlessly urging him to lay down on the bed. The privacy screen magically snapped around them, blocking them from view, should anyone step into the Hospital Wing.

James took his place standing beside the bed, on the opposite side to Pomfrey but did not reach for Severus' hand again. He'd wait and see if Severus would take it.

"Lift your shirt please, Mr Snape," Pomfrey said brusquely.

Severus gave a small nod as he lifted his shirt up exposing his swollen belly and feeling the baby give a small squirm obviously feeling the slight cold of the hospital wing as he had lifted his shirt. “If something is wrong you will know right away wont you?” he asked looking at her as he put him hands down at his sides and laid back on the bed still not liking the whole situation and feeling a little stressed from it all.

"I don't believe in coddling, Mr Snape. Of course you shall know," she said simply, but her eyes were kind as she waved her wand over him. James watched in silence, feeling a little awkward, intrusive almost as Pomfrey took Severus blood pressure, heart rate and asked him questions about his appetite, diet and sleep patterns. She asked many questions that James failed to hear, lost in thought as he looked at Severus' face.

Then, suddenly a soft but clear thumping filled the room. He came back to the present to find Pomfrey's wand over Severus' stomach, amplifying the sound of the baby's heartbeat. He felt all his organs freeze as he listened.

“Is that…is that the baby?” he asked feeling stupid for the question as he knew it was but for some reason he just needed to be sure. Madame Pomfrey gave him a nod as she continued scanning with her wand. “It sounds very strong…healthy” he said softly as his hand seemed to search the sheets of the bed expecting to find James’ hand somewhere.

James, forgetting himself for a moment, spanned the minute gap between them and took Severus’ hand. Their fingers clasped together tightly in anticipation as Poppy made a few nonsensical sounds, scanning Severus’ belly. A few different tiny lights moved across his bared skin in random patterns, apparently divulging medical information to her trained eyes.

“Healthy,” Pomfrey said, “A nice strong heartbeat, no damage I can see from the incident you spoke to me about.” Her brow furrowed thoughtfully. “I regret I cannot tell you if the baby has a magical signature yet – if its magic was affected by the incident. But physically, it is healthy.” She smiled at them warmly. “Would you like to know if it is a boy or girl?”

Severus tightened his hold on James’ hand not liking the fact that they didn’t know if the baby had her magic or not. He truly hoped that it did have its magic and it wouldn’t have to grow up watching everyone use magic around it and then blaming him because it had none.

“Yes, we would like to know that we are having…James is almost 100% sure that he’s having a daughter” he said looking at Madame Pomfrey and giving a small smile to her.

“It’s a baby girl indeed,” Pomfrey said brightly, tapping her wand just above Severus’ navel. As she did so, a bright light caught on the end of her wand, clung to it as she lifted it, carrying it over to a small square of parchmet. There she flicked it, as if shaking off water. The light caught on the page and spread, darkening the surface until James realised what was forming there.

“A scan,” she said, catching both of their curious gazes. She handed the small square to Severus. “It can be magically copied yourself if you need more. But here, you see the head and feet…” She gestured to the parts on the photo. James just stared, struck dumb. There in the blurry, confusing shapes was a clear outline of a tiny, still forming human being.

Holy shit.

Severus looked at the picture staring at it in shock and wonder. He had never really thought about the baby completely before but now in that moment actually seeing it, it all became so real to him. “…so beautiful” he murmured quietly before shaking his head. “Here you should have this…I have no need for it and I’m sure your friends in Gryffindor would like to see it” he said holding out the picture to James and waiting for him to take it.

James blinked, still stunned by the sight of their daughter. After a moment, however, Severus’ words registered in his head and he frowned. With a flick, he copied the photo, stowing the copy I his robe pocket and pushing the original back into Severus’ hands. “She’s yours too,” he muttered, taking a step back when Pomfrey gestured for Severus to pull his shirt back down again.

“Your vitals seem good, Mr Snape. Although you need more fruit and vegetables in your diet. I know you say you don’t have much of an appetite but if you ensure you have a few pieces of fruit through the day and a few vegetables at dinner…” She trailed off, pushing a small leaflet into his hands. She was looking between James and Severus thoughtfully, but said nothing regarding the odd atmosphere that had settled between them.

“Do you have anything you need to ask? Have you been feeling alright?” Pomfrey asked Severus.

“Well…I haven’t been sleeping a lot lately but I had a really long sleep last night and straight though until I came here” he said and Madame Pomfrey frond at him obviously not happy to hear that he had been skipping sleep. 

“You need to get more sleep Mr Snape it is not good for you or the baby to go skipping sleep it can cause all sorts of problems for you” she said before floating over a piece of parchment and writing something down on it.

“I understand Madame Pomfrey…I was also kind of wondering…if you had any sort of books on this. About men going though pregnancy” he asked looking at her thinking it would be best to find out as much as he could about when men went thought during a pregnancy. “I think it would be good if I knew a few more things about what I might go through before or maybe even after the baby is born.”

Pomfrey’s stern expression receded, fading into a soft, understanding look. She nodded, retreating into her office for a moment, before returning with three books. She handed them to him brightly. “I had a feeling you might want to do your own research. I took the liberty of ordering these in for you, just in case.” She pushed a large vial of clear, shining liquid into his hand also. “A few drops of this before bed will help you to relax, help you find sleep a bit easier. It contains only natural ingredients so it’s perfectly safe for you and the baby.”

“I wanted to try and sleep without having to use potions but at this point I think it would be better if I did” he said giving her a smile and taking the vile from her before taking the books as well. “And thank you for ordering these books in for me I really appreciate it and this will give me something to read when James isn’t around at night…and of course when I’m not sleeping” he said with a small nervous chuckle seeing Pomfrey’s face turn stern at hearing him say he would stay up reading them at night.

Severus turned his head away and looked at James. “We can read some of these together if you want to” he said quietly as his thumb ran over the gold lettering of one of the books.

“You’d want me to?” James asked softly. At this, Pomfrey sensibly and silently excused herself, disappearing into her office. James stared at Severus apprehensively. This man held the power in his hands to utterly break him. No one had ever had that power over him before…

“Last night,” he began cautiously. “You said we could try, that we were…you know…?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Together. As…boyfriends. That you’d try. But today you seem like you regret it or something?”

Severus raised a brow looking at James wondering what the hell he was talking. “What are you talking about James? I never said anything about going out with you last night” he said looking at him moving to hang his legs over the side of the bed next to James.

“Are you sure you didn’t just dream that because I have know memories of saying something like that to you. In fact after we had sex I’m pretty sure I fell unconscious.” 

James couldn’t help it he grit his teeth and growled, hands curling into fists at his sides and eyes clenching shut to try and fight back the stinging there. An ache caused by Severus’ words. He felt sick. “Right,” he said hollowly. “Yeah, unconscious. It would’ve had to have been a dream. There’s no way in hell you’d want me,” James said. He tried to remember his promise to give Severus what he needed, what he wanted, to not push but this was just…

He felt so weak. He felt like he’d been punched in the gut and he wasn’t perfect – he was hurt and couldn’t bear to look at that expression on Severus’ face a moment longer. As if what James had had last night, what he was talking about, was impossible.

James ran a hand through his hair again, this time tugging painfully at the strands as he turned away. 

“I’m just an idiot. Don’t worry I’ll – I’ll see you later,” he muttered, turning and heading toward the door. 

“James wait” he called climbing off the bed and staggering a bit as he clung onto the bed frame feeling his head rush from the sudden quick movement. “James. If I did say what you say I said…what else did I say?” he asked staying leant against the bed frame for support so he didn’t fall down.

“What did I say James?”

The sight of Severus unsteady on his feet, the slight desperate twinge to his voice made James stop. He inhaled shakily, trying to calm himself, trying to swallow back the bitter swell of misery and humiliation.

"You asked me if I missed you. You told me..." He swallowed hard, blushing a little, averting his eyes. "You said you wanted us to go have something to eat together, to talk, to be close, to watch the sun go down across the lake as we held hands..." He cleared his throat, running a hand anxiously through his hair, "You said we were...you know, boyfriends." 

The words felt so silly on his tongue, but he couldn't think of a more blunt way to put it. He had never been particularly good with words. "How can you have forgotten all of that?" James breathed, voice barely audible.

Severus stared at James wide eyes. “That’s…my ideal date” he said quietly before looking at the floor and then moving to sit on the bed against taking deep breathes. There was know way that James could know that unless what he was saying was actually true, had he said those things last nigh? His mind was a blank he really had know memories of it but he wondered if his sleep deprivation had caused him to become truthful about deep feelings even he didn’t know about.

Severus lowered his head between his knees taking deep breaths and lets out a moan to the whole situation and wondering what he should do.

James couldn't help himself, even with the hurt burning his chest, he walked back to Severus and gripped his shoulder firmly, reassuringly. "Hey, c'mere," he said gently, pulling Severus back up to sit more comfortably on the edge of the bed, before sitting down beside him. Here, he released his grip on Severus' shoulder, but did not move away.  
"Are you alright?" he asked.  
“I…I don’t know” he said truthfully as he took a few more deep breaths. “I…I don’t remember saying those things to you last night. But no one and I mean no one knows that my perfect date is to me and you have just said it scene for scene” he said before starting to scratch at his arm in an almost panic. “And if I told you that then that means I also said that it was fine if we start dating and all those other things and I just don’t-“ he said in a rushed and panicked voice the skin on his arm already turning red raw.

James, sensing the panic setting in, grasped Severus' hand so he could not scratch at his voice and tried to school his own into calmness when he spoke. "If you don't want to," he began slowly, his insides twisting at his words. But he couldn't bear for Severus to look like this, to look so lost and confused. "I'm not going to ever force you to do anything again."

Severus’ hand was still twitching in James’ hold as if still scratching at him arm and not realizing that the skin was gone. He slowly turned his head to James his breathing ragged and uneven as his eyes seemed to dart around James’ features.

“But…but I said I would…I-I don’t remember it but I said to you” he said looking at James. “I…I should remember something like that I should” he said shaking a bit not sure what he should be doing or even saying to James in that moment.

"You've been through a lot, I s'pose," James said after a long silence, his voice softened by the anxiety in Severus' voice. He brushed his knuckles over Severus' belly. "We all have. You'd barely slept until last night. You were probably only half concious when we were speaking." All anger and bitterness had dried up at the sight of Severus' confusion and he smiled gently, the hand on that belly sliding down to grip Severus'. "The important thing is, those things that you said - did you mean them?"

“I…I don’t really know” Severus said very slowly starting to calm down and his hand slowing it’s twitching. “I guess…some say that sleep deprivation causes you to speak the truth about things even though you don’t remember saying them…so I guess what I said to you was in a way true” he said raising his head to looking at James. “But if I did date you and it didn’t work out…would you still keep chasing after me?” he asked wanting to know the answer and half wondering if he had asked the question before.

James smiled, then laughed breathlessly. "I would try my hardest to make it work and if you chose to end it,” he said, repeating his answer from the night before, word for word. “I would never stop trying to keep you involved in our daughter's life but yes, if you decided I wasn't what you wanted as a...boyfriend, I'd respect that decision.”

He sighed, staring straight into Severus’ eyes. “You have to decide what happens from here on out, I won’t force you to do anything.”

“If…If I was to say yes to going out with you. Would you still give be some space and not go running down the halls saying you were dating me?” he asked as he looked at James straight into his eyes.

“Would that be alright with you?”

James blinked, eyes bright and large behind his glasses. “As long as you don’t, you know…shy away from me,” he said quietly. “I want to be able to hold your hand. I want you to spend time with me. I want…” he swallowed, feeling a little awkward about how whiney he must’ve sounded. He cleared his throat thoughtfully. “I want you enjoy spending time with me, without worrying that everyone else is watching.” He blinked at Severus. “You’re not…ashamed of me, are you?”

“No I’m not ashamed of you…it’s just…it’s all new to me and my father is still there in the back of my mind telling me it’s dirty and I shouldn’t be with anyone” he sighed looking down at his hands. “I’m trying to forget and move on but sometimes it’s just hard…but I want to try and be better…and also try and get rid of any bitterness I still hold towards you over what you did to me since you first saw me on the train.” He said raising his head to look at James watching him carefully.

James winced, recoiling as if slapped at those words – they were hard to take, even though he knew he deserved them. And more. “I…I’m a disgusting person,” he hissed. “I was a bully and an arsehole and I… Fuck.” He launched off the bed, hands curling into such tight fists that his nails broke the skin of his palms. It hurt – but nowhere near as badly as he deserved. “And I fucking…I fucking raped you…” He grit his teeth, turning away from Severus, unable to look at him he felt so disgusted with himself.

The last few months he had been able to occasionally misplace these thoughts, but they were always there and now…now they were simmering hotly beneath the surface. Like a potion about to boil. “Fuck, Severus. How can you trust me? How can you want to touch me? To be touched by me? Why are you entertaining me at all? How can you say our daughter will be better off with me?!”

Severus let out a sigh as he stood from the bed and placed a hand on James’ back. “Because you regret it. If you were a real monster you wouldn’t have cared what you did and just saw it as a good fuck and wouldn’t have cared about are daughter either. But you prove everyday that you want to make up for what you did and you care about her” he touched his stomach with his free hand and stroked it almost lovingly.

“I trust you because you have given me reason to start trusting you James and you have stopped trying to push me so much and you are always there when I need you the most even when I don’t ask…and you always see when I call” he smiled touching the pegasus bracelet on him arm and causing James to glow as well.

James winced and shook his head slowly. “If I were such a good person then I’d not have done those awful things in the first place,” he whispered, voice hoarse. He closed his eyes against the hatefully bright, warm room, against Severus’ presence, even though his back was still turned to him. “Don’t you see that? You’re always going on about how I deserve better, how our daughter deserves better than you but it’s you who is the good one, the forgiving one. I am the monster!”

“If you were a monster you would be in Slytherin and joined the dark lord…like I did. A good person doesn’t do something like that James” he said before moving around to stand in front of James and lifted his head to look at him. “You are good James and your daughter knows it as well, she only gets excited and wiggly when your around” he smiled taking James’ hand and placing it on his belly where there daughter gave a movement to the hand.

James couldn’t help it. The desire to believe what Severus said, the sight of such conviction in the man’s eyes and the feel of his daughter, softly moving against him – all of those things made the ache in his chest dissipate a little. The sickly feeling in his stomach calmed. Slowly, he sank down onto the bed behind him, the one that stood beside Severus’ without ever taking his hand off Severus’ belly. Even when their daughter stopped moving.

Severus stepped closer so that he could keep his hand there more comfortably. 

Staring up at him for a moment, James sighed, this one born of relief and rested his head against that swollen belly. “I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for the things I’ve done. I don’t have any right to ask you for more than you’ve already given me – that I’ve already taken from you…” He moistened his dry lips. “But I do want more from you. I want everything. I want you. Just you. I want us to be…” he trailed off, but he knew Severus understood what he had been about to say.

“And maybe we will…someday” Severus said in a calm voice as he looked down at James seeing so content against his belly and listening to there daughter or maybe the growl of his stomach demanding food after his long sleep that morning, Severus gave a small giggle.

“But for now I could really go for some food and maybe you should be focusing on getting ready for tonight. I’m sure it takes a lot out of you taking care of Remus on the full moon” he smiled giving James a pat on the head to get his attention.

James rested into the warmth of Severus’ body a moment longer, before he turned his head, pressing a kiss to that stomach. “I’ll see you tomorrow baby,” he promised, then sat back reluctantly, getting to his feet and meeting Severus’ eyes. “We really need to think of a name for her. Doesn’t feel right, just calling her baby.” He grinned then, his usual, boyish grin. “Besides, if I keep calling her baby, passers-by might assume I’m giving you a pet name.”

He felt quite light-headed now. Relieved at the notion that, despite everything, Severus hadn’t outright refused his request for more, only…postponed it. Yes, that was definitely something to grin about. 

“You already have a pet name for me so no one will think you are calling me baby” he said with a smile as he moved to pick up his books. “Besides there is no rush to name and the name you could pick might not suit her when you see her” he said as he looked at James wondering what sort of names might have been running though his head in that moment.

James laughed. “We will pick her name,” he said, “together.” He glanced at the large clock on the wall of the Hospital Wing. “Dumbledore excused me from last lesion for the appointment – you for the day as I told him you needed the rest. I’ll head up to Gryffindor Common Room and get ready for Moony, Padfoot and Wormtail.” He ran a hand through his hair, walking with Severus toward the door. “I think maybe you should keep Evans company – it’ll be her first night away from Moony since they got together, after all. She’s bound to be jumpy.” 

Severus gave him a nod. “I’ll invite her to my room for the night, you know make it into a kind of sleep over thing. I never got to have one growing up so this will be a good chance to have one and we’ll be keeping each other company” he smiled at James as they left the hospital wing.

“So I…guess I’ll see you tomorrow then or something. Or really early tomorrow morning when I’m sure you will probably come into my room to make sure I’m okay and actually sleep” he smiled.

Turning slowly to face Severus in the hall, he smiled shyly and leaning forward to kiss Severus' lips gently. He drew back only enough to caress their daughter gently. "Her heartbeat was so strong, Sev," he said in awe, "She's going to be healthy. She's going to be alright." The relief of that made him feel shaky and almost sick. She might not have her magic for certain, yet, but she was alive and would be alright. "Thank you, Sev. You're looking after her so well..."

“Well I do my best” he said with a smiled as he laid his hand over James’ “She will be strong and healthy for you I promise. She will make you and the Potter name very proud” he said before moving his hand away and looking at James as he gave him a smile.

“I think I will have a read of one of these books tomorrow, you think you will be awake enough to have a read with me?” he asked holding onto the book Madame Pomfrey had given him a little more tightly wanting to read them right away but thinking it would be best to read them with James so they both know what to expect.

James' smile broadened more confidently. "Of course. We practically live off Pepper-Up potion the few days of the full moon cycle. Nothing we haven't dealt with before." He gave their daughter a gentle stroke before sliding his hand up to cup Severus neck, hesitating long enough to ask permission with his eyes, before kissing him again, more soundly this time. His tongue flicked out gently, tickling Severus' lips in a silent request of permission.

Severus hesitated for a moment before opening his mouth and allowing James’ tongue access and he let out a small shudder of breath before hearing a small scuff of a shoes against stone before breaking the kiss and looking down the hall. “I think I just heard someone” he said expecting to see someone come out from one of the side corridors but say and heard no one and Severus began to wonder if he had just heard the sound in his head as if he was expecting to hear something and just made up the noise in his mind.

"Does it matter?" James breathed, sliding his thumb up Severus' neck to his jaw, then his cheek, caressing the slightly flushed skin there before stroking his earlobe. "I know you want to take things slow but we're not doing anything wrong, if you're enjoying yourself that's all that matters." He leant in, their noses touching and kissed gently, lips barely together as his tongue flickered between them. "Don't worry about anyone else but us, yeah?"

Severus gave a nod but his eyes still glanced to the side sure that he had heard something before he put his focus back to James and kissing him lightly. “I know you want to stay with me but you should really go and get ready for tonight and don’t drug yourself up on to many potions to keep yourself awake okay” he smiled at James. “And if Lily is in your common room can you tell her about tonight since you know I can’t get in there without a password.”

"The password is billywig sting," he said, kissing Severus once more before forcing himself back. "You can use it to come get me or Evans any time you want. But I will send her down for you." With that, he forced himself to turn away and head toward Gryffindor Tower.

***

"You should really get your Potter to rub your feet you know, he's the one that put the baby in you that's causing all these troubles," Lily said without any real force, grinding her thumb into the arch of Severus' foot. They were both sitting in their pyjamas on the thick rug in front of the fire. "How is your Potter anyway? I noticed he spent the night with you last night? Did you make up?"

“I guess you could say that” he smiled. “I had a bit of a nervous break down in the hospital wing this morning and a few things were said and in the end it looks like we are actually dating now” he said looking at Lily before letting out a content sigh as she rub a point on his foot releasing some tension there.

“Oh! You want to see a picture of the baby? She got her scan today and she is a girl with a good strong heartbeat” he smile scrawling a short distance from her and rooting though his rob pocket before moving back and holding out the image. “Here she you god daughter.”

Lily took the photo and stared at it. Like wizarding photos, it was moving, the little outline of the baby wriggling lazily and stretching. The image was so clear even in the firelight. "Oh, Sev," she gasped, her voice higher than usual as she studied it. Her delicate fingers stroked the edges of the photos, her eyes large and shining in the firelight. "Severus, she's - oh..." Her voice trailed off and a glistening tear trickled from the corner of her eye. She dashed it away hastily, smiling through the thin stream of tears that followed.

"Goodness, look at me. Sorry Sev, she's beautiful," Lily lay her hand on Severus' belly. "Can't wait to meet her properly."

“Lily?” he said softly as he looked at her, he had never seen Lily cry before she was always so strong and never seemed to let anything get to her and he wondered what had made her seem so sad.

“Lily are you alright? What’s wrong?” he asked. “You know you can tell me anything, so please tell me.”

Lily smiled through her tears, shaking her head. "Severus it's...it's fine, really I've...I''ve known for some time now. It's just..." Severus' hand landed on hers and she met his eyes. "I'm so happy for you and Potter, this baby and him, they can be so good for you - finally give you the unconditional love you've always deserved. I can't wait to see that little one here and...and maybe then you'll see how good it can be, to love someone. To have a family of your own."

Severus' fingers tightened around hers then and she knew he wanted an answer. She ducked her head, free hand still on his stomach. "I can't have children, Severus."

Severus looked at Lily with shocked and sad eyes, he didn’t know what to say in that moment. As quick as he could move he wrapped his arms around Lily in a tight embrace, here he had been complaining about the baby and wanting to get rid of it as soon as he could and his beast friend in the world couldn’t even have them.

“Are…are you sure? I mean it could just be because of what Remus is…I heard that werewolves have trouble having children” he knew it was possible for werewolves to have children but the chances where a lot less than a normal couples. 

Lily shook her head against his neck, her arms tight around her friend. "No, I've known since before Remus and I...you know. Since I hit puberty and things weren't...right. I just can't. Even if I weren't with Remus I can't." She drew back and met Severus' eyes. "I know things didn't start out right with you and Potter, Sev, but he's...he's not a bad bloke, he seems to genuinely love you. And even if he didn't, the baby - the baby loves you Severus, she loves you so much."

Severus looked to Lily before his eyes started to water and a tear slid down his cheek. “Oh Lily…I’m so sorry…here I’ve been complaining about all of this and I…I’ve been hurting you” he said sadly as he took Lily’s hands in his own wishing there was something that he could do to help her and also thinking in the back of his mind if there was something she might be able to take like Mrs Potter did to have James but he just those were two completely different circumstances.

“I wish there was something I could do of you Lily…I know how much you want to have a child of your own.” 

Lily shook her head, her sad smile still on her beautiful face. "You haven't hurt me, Severus. I only want you to be happy. Potter - he makes you happy, doesn't he? He is a complete idiot but he adores you, he wants to do the right thing by you and your daughter?"

“He is good to me…but I still don’t know if we are a good match for each other. There is so much history between us that I guess I still have doubts about him…and I also wonder if it wasn’t for are daughter if he would have actually cared about what he did that day in the bathroom. He said before shaking his head trying to remove the image from his mind not wanting to think about it.

"I'm not sure if he deserved a second chance, Severus," Lily said seriously. "But you gave it to him and he's...well, he's doing his best, I suppose." She leant back on her arms on the rug. "Even if you can't forgive him, can't be with him, he'll support you and the baby - you know he will. The important thing is you and her. Maybe if you don't want to be trapped with him after school, you and I could get a place together? You know, with the baby? I could help you out until you're on your feet? It'd give you some independence from Potter anyway, if you're still uncertain of things."

She held Severus' gaze carefully. "You just need to realise, it's not all or nothing. The baby and Potter, they are separate. You don't have to have him as your boyfriend to keep your baby. If things aren't working by the time she comes, it doesn't mean you have to give her up. He can still he a good dad to her without her losing you as well. And I'd be there for you - Sev, you wouldn't be alone."

“I know and you are wonderful for this Lily but…I guess I would feel like I was intruding if you and Remus starting to living together and I was just there with the baby and her crying though the night for whatever reason…I guess I just don’t think it would be very fair for you” he said watching Lily. “And I guess I could find a place of my own and sell my potions for income” Severus let out a sigh as he let himself fall back onto a pile of pillows on the floor and looked at the ceiling.

“But I shouldn’t be worrying about all this know I guess. I still have a while before the baby will even be thinking of coming into the world…and it’s when she does that I have to start worrying about everything” he said touching his belly and thinking about Voldemort’s words to him, they had been echoing in his head ever since he had said them ‘I think I will definitely like to meet her’

Lily smiled fondly. "Whatever you need to do, Severus. I can come visit to help you while you get on your feet anyway." She stroked his bump once more before sitting back, legs crossed and tugged the other foot she had not yet massaged into her lap. "That's what godmother's are for. But you're right. You have a good few months before you decide what to do." She began rubbing his other foot.

"What did Voldemort want to speak with you for?" she asked after a long silence.

Severus lifted his head to look at Lily not expecting her to ask about what they had talked about but know that she had brought it up he guessed at he would have to tell here. “He…he just wondered why I hadn’t been turning up to meeting or getting in contact nothing really important” he said but even as he did he saw Lily give him a look at that ‘don’t lie to me’.

He took a deep breath before closing his eyes not wanting to look at Lily as he spoke. “He wanted to talk to me about the meetings but he also wanted to see the baby…he actually made me lift my shirt and he touched my belly…she didn’t like it one bit, she kept kicking and moving around trying to get the hand away it wasn’t until James touched her that she started to settle down again.” 

Lily winced. "Severus, that man is trouble. You have to stay away from him - he can't touch you here, not with Dumbledore here. And when you're out of here, when school finishes..." She frowned. "We'll think of something. Dumbledore will help us. But if you see that man again, Severus, you have to run. Hide. Anything. He's interested in your daughter and that can only mean bad news." She paused for a moment, then rested her hand on Severus'. "Please, let's go to Dumbledore about this in the morning?"

“I don’t even understand why he might want her I mean, we don’t even know if she has any magic yet and her bloodlines aren’t anything great…well maybe they would have been once coming from two sets of pureblood bloodline but not now.” He said letting out a deep sigh and running his free hand through his long black hair and letting it rest there.

“Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to Dumbledore in the morning just to see what he says about all this” he said giving Lily a smile to reassure her.

"I don't know why he wants her either, Severus," she murmured. "Just to be cruel? I don't know. But I bet Dumbledore will."

***

Cruel red eyes watched impatiently as a small figure scurried into the room, wringing his hands anxiously, head lowered, breathing frantic. Tom Riddle rested his chin on his steepled fingers. His face was pale and almost glowing in the firelight. He let a long moment pass, let the simpering creature suffer on its knees at his feet before finally, his own face twisted in an amused smile.

"Get to your feet, Wormtail. You have news on this infant that has been foretold will end me?" His voice was laced with amusement, but a small twinge of uncertainty twisted inside him. Lucius had heard the prophecy that the child born to Snape and Potter would end him, had reported it back to him and now...now Lucius was dead and the baby was still thriving in that traitor Severus' belly. 

He felt vulnerable. He didn't like to be vulnerable. "Wormtail? What have you seen?"

“The traitor Snape had his check up today my lord, I heard though a crack in the door that the child is indeed a girl and her heartbeat is strong” he informed the dark lord still keeping his head lowered in respect and slight fear.

“My lord…Potter and Snape are also growing closer. I heard them after there appointment that they will be spending time together and reading some book about the pregnancy as well as seeing them kissing in the hall” he said allowing his eyes to glance up to look into the red slit pupils. “But the child is doing well my lord but it is unclear if she will have magic or not.”

Tom Riddle caressed his chin with the pad of his thumb absently. "Perhaps Lucius was not entirely useless," he mused, "a child without magic can hardly be a threat, after all." He glanced to Wormtail then, the mousey boy looking torn between pleased that he had been useful to his lord and fear. A nice mix. It pleased Riddle to see.

"If Potter is close to Snape then it will be unlikely I will get close to him or the child again," he murmured. "You will need to stay close without arousing suspicion, Wormtail. Perhaps encourage all of your...little group to get closer to the couple so that it does not draw too much attention to your presence. When the child is born, you will need to be close at hand to bring it to me."

“I understand my lord” he said bowing his head. “Snape and the baby are always alone during the full moon, but he stays in his room and no one can get in without permission” he said sounding almost apologetic for this fact.

“Snape does not trust me my lord…but I will do whatever I can to be of service to you my lord.”

Riddle nodded slowly. During the full moon, yes, he knew of Potter and his companions' monthly trips into the forest. That would prove most opportune indeed.

"There is also the matter that I know Potter killed Lucius. I have yet to decide whether it is more advantageous to blackmail them with this knowledge or to send an anonymous tip to the Ministry and have Potter's reputation come crashing around him." He smiled dangerously, thoughtfully. "I think I will hold onto that information until a later date. When they expect it least, I think. For now, keep close, Wormtail. Snape will have to trust you in time, if he does not wish to put Potter away. Potter still trusts you after all, does he not?"

“Yes he does my lord he has no idea about my connection to you. I shall do my best to get close to the traitor Snape so I can bring you his daughter when the time is right” he said giving a smile to Riddle before looking out of a near by window. “I have to go now my lord or the others will wonder where I am and grow suspicious. I shall keep an eye on Snape and Potter and inform you of any changes to them or the baby.” 

"Excellent," Riddle muttered, letting Wormtail reach the door before he said, "Ah, and Wormtail?" The man froze but did not turn to face him. "Do not disappoint me as Lucius did."  
***  
At daybreak, the marauders had made their way back to school to catch an hour or so of sleep before they needed to get up for lessons. James freshened himself up ready for the next day (so that he would be able to lay in longer) before heading down to Severus' room, letting himself in quietly. Evans was asleep on a conjured mattress on the floor, snuggled up and dead to the world. Severus was fast asleep too on his own bed, facing away from the door.

Quietly, James shrugged off his robe and shoes, set his schoolbag down beside them and tiptoed over to the bed. He hopped over Evans and crawled in behind Severus, wrapping his arms around him and nestling his cold nose against the man's neck. Immediately, his body relaxed, Severus' warmth spreading through his body. He sighed softly.

Severus let out a murmur but kept his eyes closed. “…Your nose is cold” he murmured before a small smile crossed his lips and he turned around in James’ arms to snuggle up to cold body more his belly pressing into him as his hands rested between then and he found it strange to feel James wearing a shirt as he had grown used to feeling James’ bare chest against him.

"You're warm," James sighed exhaustedly, wrapping one arm around Severus to hold him close, tucking the other hand between them to pet their daughter. "Mmmm, morning baby." Severus hissed slightly with the cold and James chuckled sleepily. "Sorry," he whispered. "How did the sleepover go?" He could feel Severus' soft breath against his collarbone, a relaxing, gentle rhythm.

“It went well…we talked about lots of things…and Lily gave me a foot rub. It was really nice” he breathed nuzzling his nose into James’ collar bone as there daughter gave a little movement between them before settling as well. “…Your daughter missed you last night…she wouldn’t stop moving around until she got tired” he whispered with a very airy laugh. “You will have to rub my back later to make me feel better…it’s really sore.”

James chuckled gently. "Mmmm, I missed you too - both of you." He inhaled, Severus' musky, clean smell and his entire body felt relaxed and warm. "Maybe you can read out of one of those books Pomfrey gave you while I do it?" He ducked his head so that he could meet Severus' eyes, holding that gaze, glossy from slumber before placing a slow, barely-there kiss on his lips. He rested them there, waiting.

Severus kissed James back gently feeling content to have him in his bed with his arms around him and kissing him in such a sweet way before he broke the kiss. “I think I could manage reading a book while you massage my back” he smiled at James before finally noticing Lily from behind James’ back, sitting up and smiling at the pair obviously enjoying the view. 

Lily's smile just broadened. She shook her head though and held a finger to her lips, signalling that Severus shouldn't mention she was awake, then turned over and laid back down.

Completely oblivious, James yawned widely and tucked his head against Severus'. "Mmmm, got time for an hour's sleep before I need to get up," he murmured, voice slurred from tiredness. "Let's just stay like this for a bit?" He was already starting to drift.

Severus gave a smile before snuggling into James’ chest with a yawn. “Okay, I’ll let you stay” he smiled before slowly closing his eyes and hesitantly lifting a hand before finally putting it around James and holding onto the back of his shirt as if worried that he might go somewhere before falling back into a gently and warm sleep as he breathed in James smell.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

In the end, the three of them made their way up to Dumbledore's office before classes were due to start. James' tiredness was banished by determination and a Pepper-Up potion, he walked on Severus' left side (Lily on the opposite) and his hand inched toward Severus' as they moved. They were a couple now, weren't they? Would Severus let him hold his hand where anyone could see?

He glanced to Severus out of the corner of his eye as he closed his fingers around Severus' slowly.

Severus looked down at him hand where James was holding it but made no attempt to move it away from his hold but instead looked straight ahead again and gave James’ hand a small squeeze letting him know that he didn’t mind the action.

“What do you think Dumbledore will say? I mean…I’m safe enough in the school and everything but this is are final year and there is nothing he can really do once we leave the school” he said quietly to the pair as they walk through the corridor.

James looked fully to Severus as they waited for the gargoyle guarding Dumbledore's Office let them pass. After Lily gave it the password, it already had begun to roll up and expose the spiral staircase. 

"Dumbledore's influence spreads a lot further than Hogwarts - especially when it comes to Tom Riddle. The whole world knows the one man he's always feared is Dumbledore. He'll be planning something, be watching Riddle's movements. If anyone can help us, it's him."

Lily nodded her agreement, looking between James and Severus thoughtfully before leading the way up the now revealed stairs. The door opened before they could knock and they walked in to find Dumbledore sipping at a cup of tea, watching them all with a sunny smile. "Good morning," he chimed merrily.

“Good morning Professor I hope we aren’t disturbing you” Severus said as he walked into the room with Lily and James but guessed at Dumbledore must have been awake for a while as he was sitting in his robs and drinking tea. “We came to talk to you about something…something important if you have time to listen.”

“It really is important Headmaster it’s about Severus and the baby” Lily added.

Dumbledore nodded knowingly, plucking his wand up from the table and enchanting the teapot to wiggle across the cluttered desk, pouring tea into three cups that had already been waiting. "Of course, of course, please, take a seat." Three chairs were waiting there too. When he lifted his cup, James found that the tea was exactly to his taste, strong with milk and sugars - the man's knowledge really was eerie at times...

"You refer, of course, to our esteemed Mr Riddle?" Dumbledore murmured. "Yes, I am afraid since his visit to my office he has been on my mind too." He glanced to them each in turn before focusing on Severus. "Severus, my boy, perhaps you could confirm for me exactly what Mr Riddle wanted from you when he insisted upon a private meeting? What exactly did he ask of you?"

James and Lily both glanced to Severus, waiting.

“Well…he wanted to know why I hadn’t been turning up to meets and he decided to just put it down to me being pregnant and finding it hard to get out of the castle” he said as he played with his fingers in his lap not wanting to look at anyone. “And…and he also wanted to know about the baby…he said he was interested in her and that he was really looking forward to having her on his side someday. But I told him no and that she was going to Potter and would not belong to me after the birth…but he” Severus went silent as he glanced at James before quickly looking away from him again not wanting to meet his eyes. “But he was insistent and…and he knows things that he’s holding against me…things that shouldn’t get out…so I said I would do whatever he wanted as long as he leaves the baby and James alone…but I don’t think that is good enough for him sir.”

James grit his teeth, fingers tightening around his teacup. He stared into the contents of his lush coloured tea, stomach churning as he spoke his next words. They stung his tongue, made his chest ache but he knew Dumbledore had to know all the facts - everything, if he had any chance of protecting Severus and the baby from Riddle. In the face of that - nothing else mattered.

"He knows, or thinks he knows, that I killed Lucius Malfoy, sir," James muttered quietly.

Severus gave a small slow nod to that. “He said if he didn’t get what he wanted then he would find a way to tell the ministry which would then make like hard for the Potter’s and for the baby” he said looking at his stomach and rubbing it feeling a little sick from everything he was saying as it left an unpleasant taste in his mouth.

“I just don’t know what to do headmaster” he said sounding defeated as if he had given up hope that there would be anything he could do.

Dumbledore nodded sagely, staring at them all in turn for a moment, his blue eyes resting on James longer than the others, before he enchanted a tray of fancy biscuits to hover before them, not relenting until they each took one. "I first must assure you, James, that no one, not even the Ministry could decipher so much as a crumb of evidence to who killed Lucius Malfoy." His fingers were folded neatly under his chin as he spoke. "If it weren't such a grave matter, one that clearly plagues you, I might even congratulate you on your thoroughness."

James winced and forced himself to meet Dumbledore's eyes. "I'm not proud of it, Sir, but there was no other way to stop Malfoy. He'd nearly killed Severus and the baby once. I couldn't let that happen again - he was never going to stop and I...I had to stop him, no matter the consequences." He lowered his cup on the desk when he realised his hands were shaking. He moistened his dry lips and then murmured quietly, hesitantly, "Sir, if you're going to turn me over to the Ministry, then so be it, but please," he stared into those eyes imploringly. "You can't let Voldemort near Severus. Please!"

Beside him, Severus tensed and Evans gasped, but James did not look away from Dumbledore. "I'll go to Azkaban for the rest of my life if it means they'll be safe, I don't care, but you have to stop him."

Dumbledore cocked his head, studying him carefully. "My dear boy, no one is going to Azkaban. No one is going to find out what happened to Lucius Malfoy, I assure you."

James frowned, staring at Dumbledore in confusion.

"You are all my students," the old man continued, "I feel a sadness that it has come to this, but I fear Mr Riddle had already tarnished young Lucius Malfoy's character beyond repair." He looked on Severus fully now. "I know what he did to you, Severus. I know what his actions may have done to your child. Perhaps it might interest you all to know that young Miss Narcissa Black did not fair much better at his side..."

“Yes, we heard rumours around school about what Malfoy had done to her” Lily said as she looked at Dumbledore and held he biscuit over her tea obviously planning to dunk it into her tea before eating it.

“We…also heard that she was pregnant with the next Malfoy heir…I don’t know if it’s true though since I don’t have classes with her or stay in the dorm rooms anymore…is it true though?” Severus asked looking at Dumbledore as he always seemed to know everything that was going on in his school and what was happening to ever student. Severus glanced over at James seeing his hands still shaking slightly and he reached over taking one on them in his hand to let him know everything was going to be okay. 

James closed his fingers tightly round Severus as he listened to Dumbledore speak.

"I do not feel at liberty to discuss exactly what unpleasant tortures Miss Black suffered at the hands of her fiancee," Dumbledore explained quietly. "Needless to say she came to me before Mr Malfoy's death, pleading for aid. Her family, as I understand it, are far too happy for her to marry Mr Malfoy, despite her divulging his...unpleasant treatment of her to them. She felt, I understand it, as if I were her last hope." His watery blue eyes shone thoughtfully. "However difficult your deed, James, I do believe you have saved more than just Severus and your child, but Miss Black and her child as well. Any man looking at you now can see how taking a life has affected you. I have known you well enough over the years to know that, despite recent events you are not a murderer."

At this, James' eyes widened. To hear his respected teacher, Albus Dumbledore say that even knowing everything he had done - it lifted a weight from his shoulders. He sagged in the chair slightly, still holding Severus' hand as Dumbledore continued.

"You are not a bad man, James Potter. Any man can see that," he added, and another custard cream hopped off the tray into James' free hand. James took it, dunking it in his tea and eating it - grateful for the distraction.

"There will be no Azkaban, no sentencing and no Ministry enquiry," Dumbledore said softly, before looking to Severus. "While we are on the subject of Miss Black, however, I believe as a young pregnant witch who has been abandoned from her family and social circles for trying to escape her abusive engagement, she might appreciate your friendship, Severus." He smiled wanly. "Your babies will be born but a month or so apart, as I understand it."

“Really?” Severus asked he had know idea that his and Narcissa’s pregnancies were so close together but he gave Dumbledore a nod. “I understand headmaster and I would be more than happy to be her friend and keep he company…does this mean that she has been moves out of the dungeons as well?” he asked, Severus had mostly been moved because of the abuse he was getting in his dorm but he wondered if Narcissa might have been moved as well so she had more space and privacy. 

“I will be happy to be friends with her as well sir. It cant be easy having a baby on your own especially when it will eventually come down to bending over to get things” Lily said remembering in the past going to the hospital once to see her grandmother and see a few pregnant women having trouble getting things that had fallen on the floor or watching them try and tie up shoes.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "She has a room near the base of the Astronomy Tower - it is quite out of the way there, I am sure she would appreciate it if you stopped by," he said. "But in matters regarding Tom Riddle, Voldemort, I am afraid things will not be so simple. He has been enquiring about ways to tie his soul to the earth so that, in the event of his death, he will be able to...come back, as it were." His face was serious now, all smiles gone. "I fear we must deal with him before he gets that far." He leant forward on the desk and looked fully at James and Severus.

"I fear I have been keeping a secret from you also, these last few weeks," he murmured. "On New Year's Eve, I had a drink with a potential new teacher for next year's Divination class and the esteemed young woman unwittingly (unknowingly) gave me a prophecy. One that...in short, suggested your child might be the one to end him." He sighed. "I am afraid that somehow, Mr Riddle has heard of this and has set his sights on your child."

“What?!” Severus asked shocked as he put his arm around his stomach. His daughter wasn’t even born yet and her life had been threatened more times than he could count and apparently it wasn’t going to stop now. “Headmaster you cant be serious she’s just a baby…well not even that right now as she’s not born…and for the sounds of things at this rate she will be lucky if she is born at all!” he said hyperventilating a bit and wishing he could scratch at his arm but James had tightened his grip and Severus hand obviously knowing what he was thinking about doing.

"I am afraid I am deadly serious," Dumbledore said sadly. "The prophecy pointed quite clearly to the child of an 'enemy and a defector' - clearly the two of you. I believe he wishes to...eradicate the threat before she can even become a problem." He regarded them both apologetically. "I implore you both to remain inside castle grounds until the threat has passed. I am sure you are aware how dangerous Mr Riddle and his...cohorts are growing? Their anti-muggle protests are growing more abhorrent by the day but the Ministry are already in his pocket, so many either too afraid or too loyal to act against him..."

Lily bit her lip. "He's behind all those mysterious deaths and incidents. He can't possibly be allowed to continue," she protested, "he'll take over the entire wizarding world if we let him."

"I quite agree, Miss Evans," Dumbledore nodded sagely. "That is why we, the Order of the Phoenix have been making a stand against him and why we are inviting you three, as well as Mr Black, Mr Lupin and Mr Pettigrew, to help with out cause."

James frowned. "Us?" he asked. "But we're...what can we do to help? We haven't even sat our NEWTs?"

Dumbledore smiled fondly. "I expect your entourage to keep both you, Severus and Miss Narcissa Black safe while at Hogwarts, lest some of the students be...swayed by Tom Riddle's ideas. I fear you three will be his biggest targets."

Severus lowered his head sadly not wanting to always be surrounded by everyone but if it meant the safety of James and there daughter he would put up with it. “I…I don’t want them all in my room” he said quietly. “I mean…I trust Remus and I’m starting to get used to Black as well but…I don’t know there is something about your other friend James I just don’t like” he said with a frown as he looked at James and he knew that Severus had never liked Pettigrew right from day one.

"I wasn't suggesting they be in your room unless you are comfortable," Dumbledore said gently, "no, I was thinking perhaps an alarm system on your person and on Narcissa Black's - alerting the others to you if you are in danger. The spell even has a sort of tracking charm built into it - so that they can appear at your side in a moment's notice, if need be." He smiled then. "It works a lot like the little trinket you share with James." They all looked to the bracelet round his wrist.

Severus looked down at the bracelet before raising his arm to look at it more. “So…does that mean I will have to wear one for each of them?” he asked wanting to keep it as just the one he had made for him and James on his wrist but if it meant keeping him safe he would deal with it, the same as the wrist band Remus and Lily had got him for Christmas that reminded him about things.

Dumbledore chuckled softly. "No, this will be a charm, a spell binding you to your friends in the same way that an Unbreakable Vow is made. I will serve as the binder, in this case. After lessons today, we will call the others in and make the bond."

James nodded. "And once that's done, once Severus and Narcissa are safe, how are you going to stop Riddle? Do you have a plan?"

"I'm glad you asked me that, James," Dumbledore said softly, "Because I will need your help. It takes more than one person to cast the spell I have in mind, after all." 

Beside him, James felt Severus and Lily tense. He leant forward himself, intrigued and a little frightened of the tone of Dumbledore's voice. "More than one? What kind of spell are you intending to use on him?"

"A spell to connect Tom Riddle to his victims," Dumbledore said, a little sadly. "Because there will be more - he is intending to make himself immortal in a way that requires murder, after all. Once the spell is cast, however, the damage he does, will be reversed on him tenfold."

James frowned. The spell itself made sense, fitting, in a way, and it would mean that, in the end, Tom Riddle 'Voldemort' would in effect, have brought about his own death. But what didn't make sense was...

"Why does that need more than one person?" he asked and from the way Dumbledore's eyes glistened, he knew he didn't want to know the answer.

"My dear boy, the spell requires someone to donate their magic to the cause and a caster strong enough to channel the magic through him," Dumbledore murmured.

James nodded, his throat dry and tight.. "You want me to give my magic, sir?" he winced. He knew what that meant. It meant that he would die. But he would do it, to keep Severus and the baby and everyone else safe from Voldemort.

"No, James, you will be the caster - I will be the donator," Dumbledore said quietly. "I will be the one to die."

“But what will the school do without you sir? You cant sacrifice yourself you are the best headmaster the school has seen in centuries” Lily said with a croaky that had obviously dried up listening to everything that was happening and what there plans where for Tom Riddle. “Headmaster isn’t there another way? Couldn’t we just stun him and send him to Azkaban and let the dementors deal with him?”

“She’s right, if something goes wrong the school will be left unprotected sir” Severus added in not liking the plan himself and the thought of sacrificing the headmaster to keep himself and the baby safe.

"The wards here are built stable enough to last decades without ever needing strengthening - even if I die," Dumbledore said brightly. "Azkaban can never hold Tom Riddle, not with his influence and..." he paused, looking pained again. "I am afraid that Tom is impervious to all the standard spells that might kill you or I - such is the power of the dark magic that runs through him..."

James bit his lip. "Sir I... It would be as if I killed you," he gasped, "sir, please, I can't-"

"You can," Dumbledore said firmly. "You must." He frowned briefly, then pushed another biscuit on each of them before he spoke again. "Soon, but not yet. The spell is very complicated and I will need to teach it to you."

James closed his eyes, physically pained at the thought of being involved in taking another life. Severus' hand tightened around his. "Why me, Sir?" he asked quietly.

“James is right why does it have to be him?” Severus asked. “Couldn’t I learn the spell to get rid of him?” he didn’t want to say that he didn’t want Dumbledore to add another death to James’ list so he kept quiet.

“Is there really know one else that we could use sir? I don’t mind doing it in James place either. I mean…I know my magic probably isn’t as strong as Severus’ or Potter’s but I’m sure I could do something to help” Lily add as she looked at there headmaster.

Dumbledore sighed, eyes sad and solemn. "The body of the caster needs to be young and fit in order to withstand that amount of strain - has to be nubile enough to repair itself as the damage is being done to avoid fatality. There are but a few in the Order physically capable to withstand the spell and their magic is not strong enough. We cannot bring outsiders into this matter, the only ones suitable for the task that can be trusted, that understand are Sirius Black and those in this room."

Remus was too weakened by the moon to help and Severus was pregnant. James knew they couldn't wait any longer to try and find someone else more suitable. They had to begin preparations now, before Voldemort made himself invincible. That only left him, Sirius and Lily Evans as options.

James' head shot up. "No. My friends won't be put through that. I won't...I can't..." He grit his teeth. "I will do it. It's my daughter that evil bastard is after. It has to be me that does this." As much as he didn't want to.

Severus looked at James and gave his hand a squeeze before holding James’ gaze with his own for a long time before turning to Dumbledore. “You promise that he will be safe and nothing bad will happen to him?” he asked looking Dumbledore with concerned eyed not liking the thought of something happening to James and there daughter having to grow up without a father. “The spell will just take some of his magic but it wont…kill him…will it?”

"It will be myself that makes the sacrifice, Severus, do not worry, James may be tired and unsettled after channelling that much magic through him, but he will not be harmed," Dumbledore promised. 

The only thing I will sacrifice is my good concience, James thought bitterly, the weight of Malfoy's murder thick and heavy in his gut like tar. What would he feel, would he suffer, on killing someone as good and honest as Dumbledore? He winced, but said nothing. It had to be done and he would do it. He squeezed Severus' fingers to remind himself why he had to do this.

"Your lessons will be with me every Sunday night, I hope that suits?" Dumbledore continued, either oblivious or ignoring James' inner turmoil. James had a sickly feeling it was the latter. He didn't hold that against the man though, this was for the greater good after all. 

James nodded stiffly, glancing to Severus out of the corner of his eye. "I want Severus to be there with me, if that's alright?" he murmured uncertainly.

Severus gave him a nod. “I’ll be there as long as I have a soft chair to sit on and if the lessons run late I can just fall asleep in it until you are done” he said giving James a small smile and squeezing his hand knowing how hard this had to be for him after Malfoy’s death and the uncertainty that know ran though him about the whole situation of sacrificing Dumbledore.

“I will be right there in eye sight the whole time and it will giving me a chance to read one of those books about the baby or maybe catch up on missed homework” he said giving a light laugh.

James smiled weakly.

"An excellent idea," Dumbledore said brightly, getting to his feet. "It's settled then. I ask you to keep what we have planned between us, do not include even Mr Lupin, Mr Black or Mr Pettigrew - for now. The few people that know about it, the fewer that are in danger." 

James frowned but nodded. He knew what that meant, Dumbledore didn't trust Remus, Sirius or Peter and while James trusted them with his life, this was Dumbledore's plan. He would do as he was told. "Sir," he agreed with a nod, getting up also. 

"Splendid, well, I suppose you should head off to class?"

Severus gave a nod to as he stood still holding onto James hand as they started to make there way to the door with Lily following before she stopped on the thresh hold and looked back at Dumbledore. “Thank you sir” She said giving a small nod before leaving the room and closing the door.

***

Severus looked up and dorm the corridor from the doorway of his room seeing if he could see or hear anyone before stepping out and closing the door a letter held tight in his grasp as he began making his way down the corridor not wanting to be see mostly by James and asked where he was going. He knew that James’ would like the thought of him walking all the way to the owlery in the snow, but it was snowing gently right now so there was know real harm apart from maybe getting tired half way there but he thought the exercise would be good for him. He sighed in relief of not hearing anyone before rounding a corner and bumping into someone and managing not to fall down from the collision.

Remus let out a 'oof' as Severus rebounded off him, his hands shooting out to grab hold of Severus' arms to steady him. "Severus, where on earth are you going?" he asked, glancing surreptitiously up to the sky, anxious. It was the last full moon night. The moon wouldn't be out for a while yet, but he could feel his skin prickling with its presence. "Lily and I were just in the Library, I was heading down to the Whomping Willow to get ready." He frowned. "Where are you heading? It'll be getting dark in a while."

“I was just heading out to the owlery” he said holding up the letter in his hand as if to show him that he was telling the truth. “I know I could have just got an owl to come to my room and get it but I have been stuck in the castle for days with everyone making sure I don’t do or go anywhere” he sighed feeling exhausted just at the thought.

“Besides you and Lily always told me that walking was good for both me and the baby and I know that the owlery is pretty far but I want to deliver this letter personally… it’s a very important letter and I want to be the one to send it…it’s a letter for Mrs Potter telling her everything went alright with my check up and there is a picture of her future granddaughter inside it from my scan.”

Remus' expression softened. He knew Severus a little better now and he knew James very well - he could see things from both sides. Severus didn't want James to know, of course. "You should have asked Lily or me to go with you - you know Narcissa and you could be in danger, even here at the school, if any students have been taken in by Voldemort's pureblood tripe. You have to take more care of yourself and the baby." But he also knew this was about Severus' independance too - he wasn't accustomed to relying on anyone.

Remus smiled understandingly all the same though and glanced around them. The moon was some time away. "I'll go with you now, we can be back in more than enough time for me to get to the Willow. If that suits you?"

“Really? Are you sure I don’t want to be a bother and get you into trouble. What with the full moon and just generally taking me out of the castle” he said looking up at Remus and knowing that he should really go with someone and not be wondering around alone. “I don’t mind taking it on my own really since you have to get to the willow and do…whatever it is that you do when you get there.”

"I would never forgive myself if something happened to you two," Remus said warmly, gesturing for Severus to follow along side him. He gave the man no chance to argue and together they walked the long winding road up to the owlery. When they began ascending the stairs up the tall, narrow tower, a sharp wind rushed against the outside of the tower. Remus looked through one of the arches out onto Hogwarts grounds and saw with a pang of horror that the lightly falling snow had picked up terrifyingly fast. It was a blizzard. 

"We'll have to hurry," he said, knowing that the snow had already been deep when they'd trudged up here - it had taken them longer than he'd thought, with Severus more easily tired than before. He hadn't realised it would take this long. They could still make it back in enough time, but they'd have to be quick here.

“Alright just give me a second” he said as a large tawny owl flew down and landed on a perch in front of Severus and he quickly tide the letter onto him thinking it would be safer that way with the wind picking up outside. As he finished tying the letter one the owl turned and spread its great wings before flying off out the window.

“Alright I’m ready to go” he said putting the hood on his robs up ready to head back out into the snow.

Remus nodded quickly, but just as he turned, a sharp, powerful gust flew through the archways with such ferocity that the owls inside screeched in fear, erupting from their perches and bolting up into the safety of the rafters. Remus looked out the larger arch and his stomach plummeted. The world outside was completely obscured by thick furls of billowing snow and violent wind. 

Shit. 

"We'll have to stay here until the wind dies down," he said quietly, a sense of foreboding filling him. "If it doesn't, we'll have to send a patronus to get someone to help us. Or, you will at any rate. I leave my wand in the dormitory when I head out to transform - just in case. My wolf can get careless with my possessions - it's a great clumsy oaf."

Severus looked away at the mention of patronus’ it had been one of him main week points when it came to spell having no good memories to fuel it. “Um…about that, I cant really…make a patronus” he said quietly feeling rather bad as it was his fault that him and Remus where now stuck out in a blizzard and trapped in the owlery with know one knowing where they were.

“Remus I’m so sorry about all this you never should have come with me” he said shaking his head.

Remus shook his head. "No, it's... I shouldn't have been so confident we'd make it back in time. Lily should've come with you, not me and now I..." He winced, wondering what he should do. If he transformed in the school grounds without James and Sirius to keep him in check, he might get into the castle somehow, come across some students. But if he stayed here...

"I can't even use your wand for such a complicated spell. This close to the full moon it would be difficult for me to cast with me own wand, but with another's..." He shook his head again, panic setting in. "It would be impossible." He glanced around and approached the large central support that he knew would have been the most magically stabilised to hold up the entire roof along with the standard beams and cross-structures. He pushed against it, then shoved his entire body into it with full force. His body ached in protest but he nodded, satisfied it would hold even his wolf.

Luckily he was always on the scrawny side, even as a wolf. "You'll need to chain me to this, conjure some chains and tie me here. When the storm dies down, leave and tell Dumbledore I'm here. He'll deal with me and see to it that no one comes across me when you're gone."

“What! I can’t do something like that Remus, What if something were to happen to you with those chains wrapped around you? They might slice into you skin or you might break free of them” he said looking at Remus but seeing the sternness in his eyes. Severus signed knowing he wouldn’t win this fight and pulled out his wand quickly summoning a collection of heavy chain and a strong lock.

“…Are you really sure about doing this? It doesn’t seem very safe to me and I don’t want you getting hurt…or have the owlery fall down on us.”

"Dumbledore himself reinforces the structures of the castle every year. There's no way my mangy little wolf can pull this down," Remus said seriously. "And give me an inch of slack, that should be enough to keep it tight once I'm turned. Stunners and regular hexes won't work on me once I'm turned, but anything that gives off silver sparks will keep me back." He smiled sadly. "I'm not particularly strong or impressive as a wolf, but still, don't underestimate it." He sighed. "Chain me up now, the moon is coming soon. I want to be ready."

“Alright” Severus said picking up the heavy chains and starting to tie them around Remus and the tall beam. “Um…I feel I should warn you, my magic hasn’t been that great lately. I think the baby is throwing off my magic or something” he said circling Remus before stopping and putting on the lock in front of him.

“I really am sorry Remus, you could be a the willow right now getting ready to run around with a bit of freedom…but instead you are stuck here with me chained to a wall with some soon to be very freaked out owls.” He said as he looked at Remus with sorry eyes. He didn’t know much about werewolves but he knew that hated being confined like this. 

"Don't worry about the owls - even on a good night, my wolf can't jump that high," Remus said, not knowing what else to say to comfort him, he glanced high up into the rafters. They were safe. It was Severus he was worried about. He stretched his arms and legs, struggling against the chains. He thought they'd hold. "Promise me," he murmured, "promise me if I get free somehow you won't hesitate to hex me? Silver sparks, alright? Don't hesitate. I'd rather suffer from silver burns in the morning than see you or the baby hurt."

Severus didn’t think he could bring himself to do it but he nodded to Remus’ request in the end as a strong cold wind blew in through the archway to the owlery and Severus gave a violet shiver and wrapped his cloak around him more tightly trying to keep the cold out. “I fear this is going to be a long cold night…will your wolf be alright in the cold like this? I cant try and summon something if not” he said looking at Remus seeming more worried about him and what he would be going though than worrying about himself and what he need.

Remus shook his head. "The wolf has fur, he'll be alright." He gestured with his chin to the cloak he'd shrugged off to the side. "Transfigure that into a blanket or something and wrap it round you - you and the baby need to keep warm." He wriggled where he sat, squirming out of his trousers and kicking them across the room out of the way - so at least he'd have something to put back on once he woke up. For now, he sat shivering in his boxers.

The moon was coming. Severus watched him uncertainly for what seemed like an eternity, both of them glancing anxiously out the arched, glassless windows. The storm never let up. This was really going to happen. 

Eventually, Remus winced and grit his teeth. His skin was almost burning now, as if every pore were being subjected to friction burn. "It's coming," he gasped. "Stand back. Remember - cast silver sparks on me if you need to!"

Severus gave a nod as he moved back and Remus gave a howl of pain as he started to fight against the chains restraining him and he watched as fine hairs started to appear on his body and his teeth grew into points as his face lengthened into a muzzle. Severus sat watching with wide eyes as he watched the change take over Remus and the wolf becoming more prominent he almost couldn’t believe that this was the same person sitting in front of him.

As Remus' human body writhed, shifting rapidly, painfully into the wolf, he gave a great snarl of agony. An arm, not fully transformed shook with spasms, unwittingly squirming free of the bonds before it was too big to escape them. The now full wolf gnashed it's fangs in agony, it's fur pinched between the chains. It let out a pitiful howl and finally collapsed, scrambled forward on all fours - only half restricted by the chains.

Severus gave a gasp as he raised if wand pointing it at the wolf as he watched him and blanket slipped from around his shoulders. “Remus…stay” he said talking to him as if he was dog and there was a slight shudder in his voice as his want hand shook wondering what Remus would do to him if he didn’t cast a spell at him.

The wolf finally caught sight of him now most of the pain of the transformation dwindled. He jumped, evidently not expecting his presence and drew back his teeth in a warning snarl, His haunches drew up in the awkward position against the support column, fully freeing himself from the chains. He reared up, ears slicked back, feeling threatened and uncertain.

“It’s…it’s alright Remus…it’s just me. Severus you remember?” he asked watching Remus as he lowered his want wanting to show that he wasn’t threatening him with his wand. “Your okay Remus…I wont hurt you, promise” he said looking into his eyes before the wind outside whistled strongly and he turned his head to the sound and a wind came in ruffling Severus hair.

In that momentary distraction, the wolf pounced, barrelling forward and backing Severus into the owlery wall. He sniffed heavily, ears still slicked back and tail menacingly high as his muzzle pressed in close. His nose worked as it took in his smell, nudging heavily at his belly. When Severus' hands moved as if to protect it, the wolf jumped back a few steps, surveying him carefully with piercing amber eyes.

A long moment hung between them, the wolf still unsure and perilously close but...not attacking?

Severus watched a little curious as to why Remus’ wolf didn’t seem to be attacking him and seemed more curious and weary of him and he wondered if a part of Remus was still on the surface knowing that he shouldn’t harm Severus. “Remus…can you hear me?” he asked quietly feeling curious and wondering how he should behave around Remus as he didn’t really fancy getting his throat ripped out. Lily had told him about a wolf documentary she had watched on TV once but he didn’t know if that would really help with a werewolf and he put both his arms around his belly wanting to keep his daughter safe if nothing else.

The wolf drew up, making itself as tall as possible, growling warningly again, his paws gripping the floor agitatedly. Demanding submission as it moved closer once more, sniffing heavily at that stomach and the hands surrounding it. It smelled like pack but wasn't acting accordingly. He growled again, waiting.

Severus watched the action closely and wondered what it was that Remus was trying to do before he moved forward again and nudged him in the shoulder as if trying to push him down on the floor, Severus didn’t think that something like that would be a good idea but he heard Remus give another growl and decided it might be best to try anyway as he moved slowly to lie down on his side.

The wolf gave a contented huff, leaning down and sniffing at the creature's throat. It smelled like pack, it was submitting as it should - just as the animals he ran with, the stag and the dog knew to submit. They were pack and while they acted correctly, they were no threat.

With a huff, the wolf moved away from the smudge on the floor and glanced mournfully out the window then to the owls above, out of reach. His belly grumbled. Irritated, he dropped down and folded his paws beneath him, watching the snowstorm rage outside.

Severus eyes glanced around and wondered if he was allowed to rise from the cold floor now or if he would be growled at for rising. Taking his chances Severus slowly raising himself up on his hands watching the wolf the whole time for any sign that he should stay where he was and not move but the wolf seemed more interested in staring out into the snow storm than looking at Severus but he guessed that he was listening to him as he watched his ears twitch listening to all the different sounds around him.

The wolf glanced at the pregnant pack mate disinterestedly. It was watching him with the proper respect, it was no threat. It was shivering, however from the cold. Growling quietly, more in grumpiness than with any malice this time, he got unhappily to his feet and trudged over to the shaking thing. He swiped at it with his tongue, cleaning the snow and debris from their scuffle earlier from its hair, before laying down beside it. When it moved, he growled warningly. Was the pregnant pack-mate really so stupid as to not realise it had to stick close to keep warm?

“Did…did you want me to stay next to you?” he asked hesitantly as the wolf lowered his lip and stopped growling at him. Severus didn’t understand what was going on at all but if the wolf wasn’t attacking him he should think himself lucky and he moved closer to Remus already feeling the heat coming off his fur as he sat inches from him before his stomach gave a growl and he realized that they had missed the dinner and he wondered if he would be able to summon something to the owlery of them to eat cause he guessed the wolf must be hungry as well. Taking a deep breath he decided to give it a try and slowly pulled his wand out again and aimed it at a window before calling. “Accio Steaks!” and waiting to see if anything would happen or is they would even make it though the snow.

For a long moment, nothing happened, then, two steaks shot in through one of the arches, dusted with snow. The wolf eyed the largest one and snatched it before it had even hit the floor, snow and all, while Severus dusted the snow off his and chewed. The wolf was ravenous, devouring his instantly. With his belly full, he yawned and stretched, feeling a lot more calm and content than usual with his pack around him. His pack-mate was pregnant, he needed to protect it. 

With two big amber eyes, he watched carefully, ensuring the human ate every bite.

Severus sat quietly as he ate his steak and looked at Remus as he took a bite seeing that he was watching him and he swallowed his mouthful before taking his last bite and then licking his fingers before wrapping the blanket around him again. “Sorry you are stuck here without everyone” he said quietly as he looked at Remus before reaching out a hesitant hand and stroking at his warm fur gently.

The wolf tensed at first, then sighed, relaxing into the touch and leaning his head forward, putting his large nose against the human's belly. He sniffed deeply. The cub within was healthy, strong, he wagged his tail reassuringly as he nuzzled it, trying to show the human what he had found.

Severus gave a smile as he stroked the wolf between the ears. “Can you smell the baby Remus? I’m sure it likes knowing you’re here” he smiled as the wolf before giving a shudder and wrapping the blanket around him more but making sure he left an opening so Remus could still smell his belly as it seemed to make him happy.

The wolf stretched out, licking at the rounded stomach through the clothing and glancing out the archway, in the distance, he heard his pack-mate, the dog howl, swore he heard the rush of the stag's hooves through the snow. But there was no way they could reach them here, not until the storm died.

He lifted his head and gave a deep, resonating howl that carried through the stone walls, out into the grounds below. The owls above screeched in alarm but dared not move. With that, he rested his head against the human's belly and closed his eyes. Company definitely helped.

Hours later, as the moon waned and the snow died, movement sounded from below. The wolf lifted his head quickly, sniffing cautiously at the air as the approach of light steps sounded on the stairs. He growled quietly, warningly. The sound stopped, then continued. Eventually, the large, slender shape of the stag appeared. It bowed its head low in submission as it approached, nuzzling gently at the wolf's throat as it was want to do. The wolf huffed, accepting his presence as he did every moon, but the stag froze when he saw the face sticking out from the bundle of blankets.

Slowly, as if he feared what he would find, the stag leant down and nosed gently at the human's face. The human stretched and his lashes fluttered as he awoke to find the deer's face inches from his own, the wolf still wrapped around him.

Severus stared at the stag with drowsy eyes before reaching out a hand from the blanket and stroking its snout and running his hand up and down it enjoying the feel of the sort fun under his hands. “…hi…did I have you worried?” he asked sleepily knowing that it must have been James even though this was the first time he had seen him in his animagus form.

James stared at him, his brown eyes bright and wide, he butted his nose into Severus', catching the blanket with his teeth and pulling the blanket back so he could sniff carefully at his belly. The wolf grumbled unhappily at their warm nest being disturbed but allowed it as the black wolf and rat came ambling in, showing their submission before they too looked to the man under the blanket. 

After a moment, James gestured with his antlers toward the sky outside, trying to signal that the moon would be gone from the sky soon.

Severus turned his head and looked outside understanding what the stag was saying before transfiguring the blanket back into Remus’ rob before throwing it over his to hide his nudity when he did change back. “Thank you for keeping me warm last night Remus and sorry again for trapping you here” he said giving him a small smile as he stroked him between the ears as he seemed to like this before sitting back against the stags front legs and looking up at him as he gave his chest a few small strokes.

They lay together, the five of them until the moon dipped and the wolf gave a cry of agony as its body began the change back. After a few pained moments, Remus lay naked and panting on the stone floor. As soon as the skittish wolf had changed, the three friends changed into their human forms again. Sirius dropped the blanket round Remus' shaking shoulders while Peter brought him his trousers.

James helped Severus to his feet, brushing his cheeks with his fingers, scanning him carefully, as if looking for damage. "Are you alright?" he asked. "I can't believe he didn't hurt you." He frowned, confused. "When we're animals, he recognises us as pack but if he sees us as humans - he goes for us like prey. Unless..." His hand dipped, touching his boyfriend's belly. "Maybe he smelled the baby, smelled you were pregnant and didn't want to hurt it?"

“He didn’t hurt me I’m just fine” he said looking at James as he touched the hand on his belly. “And he did seem a bit jumpy of me when he first noticed me but…I don’t know he seemed to show me what I should do, like submit to him. But for the most part he seemed to enjoy sniffing at my belly” he said with a light laugh as he looked at James before looking at Remus as he pulled his rob back on and he seemed much happier to be back in his human body again.

James nodded thoughtfully. "Werewolves would kill their own friend if they crossed their path, but so few werewolves have been allowed near children or pregnant people, it's never been seen before. He must've recognised that you were...you know, pregnant and because you smelled like him he felt responsible for you." His eyes were bright with his epiphany. "Can you imagine the break through we could make with this knowledge? We could advance werewolves' involvement in society so far." He frowned then, realising the problem - to register their findings, they'd have to admit that Remus was a werewolf, which was impossible, if they wanted his way of life to be preserved. He'd be shunned and hunted and worse.

With a heavy sigh, James glanced to his friends and then out the archway at the now peacefully falling snow. "When we couldn't find him, we feared the worst," he murmured. "We were trapped up by the Shrieking Shack, we got here as soon as we could. He's lucky you were with him, he might've torn himself apart or gone out in the storm hunting without you."

Severus laughed. “Oh don’t worry about that I summoned us some steaks to eat. They got to us a bit snow covered but they were still really good and Remus’ wolf seemed to really like it so I guess it was enough to keep him here” he smiled before scuffing the ground with his shoe. “I guess you didn’t realize I was missing until you got here and found be curled up next to Remus, sorry if I really scared you when you came in and saw me there.” He lowered his head apologetically to James knowing that he must have been out of his mind that something happened when he had seen him even if his stag couldn’t show the emotions running though him.

"No, it's okay, I just..." He smiled softly. "I just think I nearly shit myself when I saw you there." He glanced to Remus, who was just coming back to himself, holding the blanket tightly around him now, looking more coherent. "I'm glad Remus' wolf didn't hurt you for his sake too, he hates the wolf and I think... Well maybe this will make him accept it a little more, not fear it as much. Maybe it will help him be a little healthier... You're both really alright? You didn't get cold, did you?" he added, touching his belly again gently.

Severus shook his head in answer as he gave a smile. “No, Remus’ fur was really warm it was like sleeping next to a big fluffy heater. I know I probably shouldn’t have fallen asleep then he was in his wolf form but I was just so tired I guess I just drifted off without realizing” he said looking at James and seeing the slightest of reliefs cross his face to know that he had been alright and nothing had happened to him.

"Why were you up here with him anyway?" James asked, confused. "I mean, I get that you got here and you probably got trapped by the snow-storm, yeah? But...why were you both here in the first place?"

“Well…I wanted to send a letter and the exercise is good for me so I thought I would just have a walk down her send the letter and head back. But I bumped quite literally into Remus and I told him where I was going and he wouldn’t let me go alone so he went with me, it shouldn’t have taken as long as it did but your heavy daughter slowed me down and then of course the storm started and we got stuck here over night” he explained and half hoped that James wouldn’t well at him for being stupid enough to leave the castle in the first place and especially when it was already snowing out even if it was only lightly at the time.

"My daughter is not heavy," James chided playfully, but his smile was tinged with concern. "Who did you need to send a letter to that was so important? Couldn't it have waited until morning? I mean even without werewolves the snow could be dangerous for you anyway in your condition." He frowned again. "You could've hurt yourself and her. You need to be more careful."

“I was being careful, see” he said motioning down to his boots which had a thick gripping sol on them. “See I had sure that I was ready for the snow and I wouldn’t fall…and it’s none of your business who I was sending a letter to that’s my business…I just hope that it managed to get there safely” he said turning his head around and looking a the window the owl had taken off through carrying his letter and a copied scan of his daughter.

James winced. He had a pair of those boots himself so he knew they were charmed to prevent slips and slides. It wasn't the point though - there were more dangers out there than slipping in the snow. And who was Snape writing to that he didn't want to tell him? The thought made him unavoidably insecure and jealous. 

With a frown, he ruffled his hair agitatedly. He was so worked up at the thought of losing them, to danger or to someone else, to Severus' own disinterest. They'd only been boyfriends officially for a day or so and he already felt like he was losing him. 

Sighing, he leant forward and rested his forehead against Severus'. "I need you to be more careful," he whispered, with his eyes closed.

“Don’t worry, I would do anything to put myself in danger” he said softly as he leaned back against James’ forehead affectionately and wondering if he should just tell James who the letter was to. But then he knew that James would start asking questions and get that stupid smile on his face like he got when he had done something James found cute.

“We should go back to the castle when Remus is ready. I could really use a hot bath and my back is killing me and know matter what you say it’s because she is heavy, my small frame has trouble carrying her” he said pointing at his belly.

"You're hardly small - you're just as tall as me," James said with a snort, "Slender though - yes." He grinned ruefully, "not for much longer." He palmed his daughter gently, grinning wider when she thumped against his hand sleepily. He looked to his friend and silently, they began the slow walk back up to the school.

James and Severus were (for once) faster, with Peter and Sirius supporting Remus' shaky form. The moon was gone but the sun had not yet risen, the sky an odd pale blue signalling the approach of dawn. The couple at the front were quiet as they trudged through the snow, James glanced surreptitiously as Severus whenever his thoughts got the better of him.

"Just promise me," he said at last, "no more sneaking off on your own. Take someone with you? At least tell me where you're going if you can't say why. You're a target, you and the baby, you can't let your guard down, not even at Hogwarts. That's why Dumbledore wants us to do the bonding charm so that we can come to you if you need us."

“You seem to have forgotten already that I wasn’t alone” he said motioning over his shoulder to a very shaky Remus. “And I know that you want to do the binding spell but for that you actually have to tell your friends about it. It’s know good if you just take them to Dumbledore’s office and go ‘by the way I’m going to bind you to Severus so he can pop you out of class if he needs you’ that won’t go down well” he said giving James an un-amused look as he trudged through the thick snow before taking James’ hand using him to keep his balance.

James nodded. "Remus knows already - there's no way Lily kept this from him for a second. And I'll tell Sirius and Peter." He frowned when Severus made a face at Peter's name. "I would've thought it'd be Padfoot you protested at, not Wormtail?" A glance over his shoulder told him his friends were far enough back that they would not hear their whispered conversation. "You hate Wormtail more than Padfoot?"

“It’s…it’s not really hate. I don’t know James it’s just something abut him that I just really don’t trust at all and besides I’ve growl used to Black…plus he buy greats teddies I still have that that dragon he gave me for Christmas it sits on my bedside table” he smiled before giving James’ hand a squeeze. “Oh yeah and I want my bunny back I’m starting to miss him you know” Severus grinned and gave a small giggle to his own comment. “But anyway do we really have to include Wormtail in this? I will never call for him you realize and will never let him in my room not even if I’ve fallen and broken my leg…he just seems very shifty.” 

James bit his lip. "Severus, if you really don't want to then I won't force you. You've accepted Sirius and Remus I can't push any further so soon - especially given...everything. If you don't want him included, we don't have to tell him." He smiled fondly at the thought of his smaller friend. "I doubt poor Peter would be able to give you much help to be honest, I think you intimidate him. Perhaps it's for the best." He glanced back at his friends. Remus was walking steadier now as the snow thinned out the closer they got to the castle. "Just Me, Lily, Remus and Sirius, then."

They walked on a bit more and the others caught up a bit. "They've moved Narcissa, you know. Have you spoken with her yet?" James asked.

“Um…I cant say I have really had a chance to yet” he said feeling a bit guilty that he hadn’t sort her out to talk to her and ask her how she was doing with everything that was going on. “The Slytherin’s have a free period today maybe I will go and talk to her then and ask her how she is doing. She never seemed to dislike me so I think she will sit down and talk to me” he said giving James and smile and hoping that he wouldn’t be thinking about him while he was stuck in class and he was off talking to Narcissa.

“But right now the only thing I want is a nice hot both to get rid of this ach and to warm up a bit…did you want to join me?” he asked. “You do still owe me a back rub after all like you promised. I can even put a charm on one of those books so they don’t get wet in the bath.”

James flushed brilliantly at the mention of joining Severus in the bath and grinned bashfully, reaching down and brushing his knuckles against Severus shyly before tangling their cold fingers together. Any excuse to be close made his stomach flutter. "So...when can we have our date?" he mused, wanting to distance himself from the previous conversation. They could only argue and ruin the semblance of peace they'd gained recently.

There was time for fighting your views and time for compromise. Time for comfort.

“How about we go tomorrow. We have know classes and it would be good to have it before the point where I don’t want to stand up ever again” he said looking at James as he gave his hand a squeeze and smiled at him and saw how much James wanted to go on there date. “Would that be alright with you, James.”

James beamed, nervous and excited, the sight of those very feelings on Severus' face making him forget everything for a little while.

***

Severus stood in the bathroom and shed of his cold snow covered rob as he looked back at James seeing him watch him undress before he bent over to start filling the bath with warm water and soothing bubbles. Straightening up again he undid his trousers and let them fall to the floor before he stepped out of them. “See something you like?” he asked glancing back at James seeing his eyes still on him. 

James smiled, shrugging off his own robe and shirt. They'd made a detour back to the Whomping Willow, where they'd left their change of clothes and their wands in the hollow beneath. Now he was naked again, staring at Severus' body and the way the rising steam made that pale skin flush temptingly.

"You're getting confident," he mused. "I like it." He stepped closer, looping his arms around Severus' waist and pulling their hips together - but nothing else. Just staring into those dark eyes, waiting for Severus to move next.

“What can I say, I just cant seem to get rid of you so I might as well get used to it” he smiled at James as he put his hands over his shoulder and touched there noses together before pulling back. “Want to help me take my shirt off? I think are baby girl is getting cold in this shirt” he said brushing his chest against James a few times letting the buttons rub against him.

James reached down, brushing the hem of Severus' shirt and the skin beneath, knuckles skimming that slightly rounded belly. He lifted it up until it was just under Severus' chin, then breathed heavily against his lips as he whispered, "I'll warm you up." He kissed him briefly before pulling the shirt off, kissing him again as it fell to the floor. "Touch me," he panted between the soft, teasing passes of their mouths. "You take charge."

“You want me to take charge?” he asked looking at James. “And here I thought we were going to have a bath, but if you want me to touch you” he hummed undoing the zip of James trousers and letting them fall down around his ankles as he palmed at his boxers as he kissed James deeply and heard him take in a sharp breath though his nose as he touched him. “Is this what you wanted me to do to you James?” he asked.

James clenched his teeth, trying to stifle the groan of pleasure that longed to escape. "Oh, fuck, Sev," he breathed, reaching up and tangling his fingers in the dark hair, tugging that mouth to his own. Their tongues slid together wetly, lazily, James' other hand cupping Severus' cheek, just kissing him, letting the other man take control. His hips quivered, rocking into Severus' firm caress. He panted into that mouth. "Mmmm, be bossy with me," he chuckled huskily, kissing him again. "Take control. Want you to."

“Someone sure is being demanding of me today” he breathed one James lips as he slid his hand under James’ waistband and played with the light spattering of hair there and pushing his hips up against him and rubbing up and down him finding the motion a little hard with his bump in the way but still managing it. “Do you like me playing with you like this?” he asked as he allowed his other hand to slide into the waistband and caressed James’ arse and gave one of the cheeks a squeeze. 

"Fuck," James cursed huskily, staggering forward and backing Severus against the sink. "Please..." Those slender, dexterous fingers through his pubic hair, scraping teasingly on his pubic bone, just above his throbbing cock and the nails scraping his arse. It was too much. He was so aroused it hurt. Severus' confidence was the most heady drug. He felt high on it - dazed and dazzled. He leaned forwards, mouthing Severus' throat hungrily. "Love it, play with me, please..."

Severus shuddered as James lips touched skin and he grinded his erection up against James as he released a shuddering moan. This felt somehow better than the other times they had down it, was it the location or just the fact that he was taking more charge of what was happening? “You really want me to play with you more?” he asked heatedly against James’ ear before taking it in his mouth with a light tugging bite and grinded against James again feeling his erection throb with the action.

James groaned deeply, pressing hard into Severus' cock. "Love you teasing me, take charge of me," he panted, trying to show him how good this was, Severus giving as good as he got. His boyfriend was growing in confidence every day, it was arousing, yes but more than that - it made him so happy to see.

"What do you want me to do?" he breathed, nipping at those lips, his mouth sliding back to capture the fleshy lobe of his ear. "Show me, tell me," he panted.

“I want you…in the bath” he as he tugged down James boxers releasing his hard erection. “Dirty boys like you had to get wet and soapy” he grinned running a finger along the thick vain or James’ cock before thumbing the tip in circular caresses. “And maybe I could be your soapy sponge, touching and rubbing against all of you” he breathed pulling his own boxers down as he kissed James deeply. “Would you like that dirty boy?” 

James just gave a choking gasp, that confidence staggering. The flush on those cheeks and the shy smile only made it more beautiful. He hurriedly kicked the boxers away from his ankles where they'd fallen and stepped into the bath, tugging Severus with him, that delicious hand still taunting his cock. He seized those lips again as he slid back in the bath, Severus leaning over him. It was so good, steam rising up and water splashing across their skin. He closed his eyes and groaned again against that mouth.

“Someone likes the water” Severus grinned as he rubbed his wet chest against James’ causing the water to splash around them and he let out a small moan at the lovely wet contact before sliding down move onto James’ chest and his lips captured one of his nipples, sucking and pulling at it until it stood erect and Severus moved himself to straddle James’ hips as he rocked allowing James hard cock to rub up between Severus’ arse cheeks. 

"Fuck you're - you're driving mental - so good-" he gasped, grasping Severus' arse, fingers digging in slightly and forcing his hips to grind up and down against him. Back and forth. The motions brought his boyfriend's cock to rub against his belly while his own erection slid deliciously along the valley between his cheeks.

Severus gasped at the wonderful friction coming from in front and behind him as he raised his head to look at James and he sat up the tips of his hair wet and dripping as he looked down at James and continued grinding against him. “James…I want you to fuck me…right here in the bath. I want you to fill me so hard my head will spin” he breathed leaning down and kissing him and biting James’ bottom lip.

James needed no more invitation than that. He surged up, smashing their lips together in a frantic, open-mouthed kiss before edging back in the bath so Severus had enough room to straddle his legs. His mouth was sensitive from those biting kisses but he didn't stop. It felt too good. A quick glance caught sight of a large jar of water-based lotion on the side of the tub. He seized it up and scooped a generous handful up. 

Severus leant knowingly up against him, his arse above the water line so that James could slide his slippery fingers up and down across his twitching hole. "You're so soft and supple down here now," James grinned breathlessly. "You open up for me so easy. Like it."

“Well I’m not surprised with all the attention you have been giving me the last few weeks” he said before biting him bottom lip and letting out a moan deep in his throat before gasping as one of the fingers slid inside of him and played with the walls of his insides and felt them contract around the finger. “James…don’t just play with me, I want you fucking me not your fingers” he breath reaching back and starting to stroke at James’ throbbing erection feeling it twitch in his hand. “Come on I know you want to.”

James smiled. "You are dirty when you get going, aren't you?" he laughed gently, two fingers inside now, the lotion thick and making debauched sloppy sounds as he stretched that hot hole open. "So hot," he panted, leaning his head against the man's chest, licking teasingly at an over-sensitive nipple. "Hmmm, they're getting more sensitive, aren't they?" he whispered.

“Yes” Severus said in a shuddering breath as he leaned down with his arse in the air as he kissed James his round stomach touching his as the baby kicked out. “See…even she wants you to hurry up and stop playing and teasing me…mommy really wants daddy’s big cock inside of him” he panted leaning even lower as he rubbed there hard nipples together and he let out a delighted moan at the contact.

"Fucking Merlin," James cried out, a third finger twisting in and spreading him open, splaying that clenching opening and smearing the lotion inside. "So dirty, so rude," he said with a whispering laugh. "Love it. Love your voice, it does things to me." He reached down, grasping his boyfriend's tight, hard cock and stroking it firm and slow as he guided his cock to his slick opening. The heat coming off him, the heat of the water around them made everything so much more intense. 

"Oh baby come on, talk to me, let me hear that sexy voice," he muttered, pressing his thumb into the slit and drawing with it a thick glob of pre-emission, just as he slid the head of his own cock along the open seem of Severus' entrance.

Severus let out a moan his hips giving a small buck before taking James cock in his hand again and pressing it to his entrance. “I think mommy is going to have to take control this time” he shudder before sliding himself down onto James hard erection as he let out a loud moan that seemed to echo around the bathroom and he threw his head back a bit. “Hmm…that’s what mummy wanted…wanted it so bad” he panted putting taking James hand and placing it on his hip as he raised before coming down on James’ erection again with another loud moan.

James, respecting Severus' control, concentrated on keeping his head above water as he thrust up into that tight, warm body. Severus looked so glorious above him. James' fingers dug into his hips, helping that body rock back and forth against him. That slick heat tensed around him. He groaned. The sight of that pale body, splattered with droplets of water, swollen subtly with his child, panting as he looked down on him with eyes dark with desire, it made his mind spin.

“You like this? You like me taking control of you daddy?” he moaned as he rocked his hips and his nails dug into James chest but not enough to hurt. “Oh Merlin…you feel so good…deep inside me James…please fuck me more I want to feel every part of you deep inside of me” he breathed bucking his hips and leaning down to touch his forehead to James’ as he panted and moaned.

"Mmmm like it so much," James agreed readily, grinding up into his body circling his hips slightly with each thrust. Water slopped messily over the sides, washed against their skin like an urgent caress from a lover. He kisses him clumsily as they moved together, unable to resist the temptation. "Have I warmed you up yet? You feel quite hot down here," he gave a particularly hard thrust, holding inside for a moment, moving his hips from side to side, spreading him open. He swore he felt water lap inside and he groaned.

He felt naughty, young and carefree and Severus obviously did too.

“Oh yes…I feel like I hmm…have a fever I’m so hot” Severus moaned circling his hips with James’ movements as felt there daughter move around excitedly in his belly and he wondered if she knew what was going on. “Looks like I’m not the only one having a good time here” he said with a airy laugh as he leaned down and kissed James and slipped his tongue into his mouth and they fought for dominance.

"Don't that's..." James blushed darkly, his movements stilling. The thought of their little girl awake in there, despite not knowing exactly what was going on. It made him freeze. He swallowed. "Erm..." His hands stilled on Severus' hips. He didn't know what to do for the best.

“Why did you stop?” he asked breathing heavily as he looked at James and rocked forward on his hips. “She’s alright don’t worry about her…if something was wrong I would know so please…please don’t stop” he breathed as he let his muscles contract deliciously around James cock and hearing a gasp from him in return. 

James panted, ashamed that he could not help but roll his hips up into that body. He grit his teeth and tried to stifle the moan that longed to escape and smoothed his hand over that belly. He swore he could see her moving beneath. But he couldn't stop, Severus was just so...demanding tonight, seizing his face and forcing him to look up into his eyes as he rocked against him. 

"I...I don't..." he whispered, voice croaky. He swallowed, trying to moisten his dry throat. "You're sure I won't hurt her?"

“I’m sure…if she didn’t like this she would tell me hard and painfully” he said giving James an airy smile as he rocked against him and moaned as brought up one of his hands and began to play with an erect pink nipple twisting it in his fingers. “So please…play with me more James…I want you to fuck me till there’s know water left in the bath” he moaned rocking against him roughly and causing some of the water to splash over the edge of the bath and rugged on his nipple.

Unable to control himself with Severus' husky voice uttering such debauched words, James reared up, one arm holding Severus tightly in his lap still, their chests sliding together wetly as he moved. The other hand he brought round to tug at a flushed, abused looking nipple. He smirked, still blushing from before and whispered, "I wonder if you'll make milk for our baby here? That's kind of...kinky." He squeezed, imagining what it would be like for a dribble of milk to ooze from that tight bud, deciding not to think too long on what type of pervert that made him. He caught Severus' lips again, that hand abandoning his abused nipple to squeeze his neglected prick firmly as he ground his hips into Severus' quivering hot hole.

Severus gasped as he rocked with James his cock throbbing at the feel of James’ touch and his erection moving in and out of him making wet embarrassing noises as it did but Severus didn’t care it felt to good to be embarrassed at the sounds that were being made by their wet connecting bodies. “James…you are so amazing…I love your big cock inside of me…” he moaned as his hips gave a buck.

"Fuck," James panted, his muscles tight and aching but he didn't care. He couldn't stop moving, couldn't stop thrusting - not when Severus was making those noises and grinding into him with such wanton hunger. His cock was so hard and hot that it hurt. His jaw ached from tension and his wrist was cramped where he was fisting Severus' cock. It was perfect. "Mmmm, think you can hold on for me? Hold off coming while I spill in your tight little arse?" He watched Severus' expression, still pounding up into him, watching that flushed cock jerk in his grasp. "If you can, I'll suck your cock. Let you come down my throat."

Severus blushed and let out a moan, the thought of coming in James mouth was so overwhelming it made him want to come right there and then but he grinded his breath trying hard to resist the urge.

“I…I don’t know how long I will last James…it feels to amazing” he panted rocking against James hips as he gasped and moaned and kissed James’ lips, neck, chest, anywhere he was able to reach.

James grinned breathlessly, turning his head to catch a kiss before allowing them to continue mouthing his neck. "Mm, you'll have to do everything you can to make me come quickly then," he whispered, drawing back and sliding his thumb along Severus' mouth before pushing inside, parting those kiss-bruised lips and teasing the tongue with the pad of his thumb. "Give me everything you've got."

Severus nodded as he leaned in and kissed James deeply and moaned into the kiss as he moved against James faster and clenched his muscles around James cock. Reached a hand back he grasped at James balls and began to circle and squeeze them gentle in his hand. “Come James…come for me…come deep inside me.”

James ducked his head into that slender neck, nipping and sucking and groaning against the flesh. "Mmm fuck," he breathed, feeling his balls tighten under those fingers that knew him so well. "Mmm you feel so good. So sexy, want you." He rolled his hips up with smaller, deeper, more urgent increments each time now, barely withdrawing from that tight, clenching heat. He was so close. "Make me come, make..." He blushed. "Make daddy come in your sloppy little hole."

“Give it to me…mommy wants it so bad…come on daddy” he moaned pushing against him harder as he herd James moan his muscles clenched so tight around him that he could feel every little move either one of them made. “I can feel your balls getting tight daddy…let it out…let it all out inside of me till I cant hold anymore and it’s leaking down my thighs.”

"Fuck -Sev!" James growled, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pulling him hard onto his cock a final time as that voice, that image and those sensations made heat spiral in his belly. He pressed his hips tight to that arse and his body shook with spasms as he came long and hard, shaking and groaning nonsensically.

Still coming, he collapsed back in the tub, with Severus still rocking against him, and only just realised that there was not enough water left to even reach his head. It was no more than a shallow hot puddle around his buttocks, back and half his legs. He panted for breath, hands massaging Severus' thighs as his cock twitched inside, those clenching muscles milking him dry.

Severus moan as he arched his back and threw his head back before letting it roll on his shoulders to look back at James, still rocking gently against him as he felt his insides being filled and his muscles clenching around him in want. “James…James” he panted as he leaned down on his chest. “I…I want to come to…I cant stand it much longer” he panted as his still hard cock twitched and throbbed against James’ belly. 

James beamed, flushed and breathless. "Swap," he urged, holding Severus to him and only withdrawing from his body when his boyfriend was laying on his back in the bath, legs spread to expose everything to James' gaze. He leant down, holding that gaze as he slid three fingers into that gaping hole. His own come made slick, debauched sounds as he fingered him, hard, fast, his thumb pressing into his perineum. Looking into those dark eyes shining with lust, he made good of his promise and sucked that hungry, red prick into his mouth.

Severus' hips danced up into his mouth, back into his thrusting fingers and the man cried out in embarrassed arousal at the humiliating sounds. James hummed around his mouthful, dipping lower, taking Severus deep into his throat and swallowing - over and over again so that his throat muscles contracted around that puling erection.

Severus gasped and moaned at the delighted feeling of being in James’ hot wet mouth the feeling causing his cock to give a jerk as he gripped onto the sides of the bath tub in his excitement. “Oh Merlin…so good hmm…” he hummed as his back all but arched off the bath and he felt the muscles in his belly grow hot and tight. 

He released the bath and quickly ran his fingers into James’ messy wet hair and gripped it tightly and seemed to take control of James movements over his throbbing erection. “Ah…I’m to…I’m going to come..!” Severus moaned out loudly moving James head father and deep over his cock before letting out a loud moan that echoed around the whole room as he came hard into James’ mouth and his body shuddered for the release.

James hummed around his mouthful, slurping greedily, noisily until he'd swallowed everything and Severus was only shuddering, shaking in the aftermath of his orgasm. He knew how sensitive the man was after he'd come and so he drew back, licking around the foreskin and slit so that the flushed pink skin was completely clean and stood. He gave Severus a flustered smile, hopping out of the bath to seize a large fluffy white towel.

"Come on," he said gently, holding the towel open, "Up you get.." He twitched his toes on the wet floor, feeling it magically drying beneath him already. He loved magic sometimes.

“But my legs are all shaky” he said like a small child as he looked at James from inside the bath before seeing James grin and gave up as he stood holding onto the side of the bath before standing up straight and feeling James rap the warm fluffy towel around him and lift him out of the bath bridle style. “I want to just climb into bed now.”

James glanced at the clock. They had a few hours before they had to be up and about. Enough time for some sleep which Severus was probably in need of. He used a quick drying charm on himself but patted Severus dry gently. The man let him, which was at that moment so meaningful that he paused in his actions, standing before him with the towel in hand beside the bed.

Still flushed and glassy-eyed from his orgasm, he looked so young and innocent.

“What are you looking at?” he asked as James started to dry his hair lovingly making sure he got every tip of his long black hair. “It doesn’t matter” he smiled. “You still want to sit and read one of those book with me?” he asked motioning to the books on his bedside table that had obviously been sitting there for a while waiting for James to come visit so they could ready the books together.

James said nothing for a little while. He only set the towel aside when Severus was completely dry, waiting for him to snuggle back under the covers, then crawled in beside him, resting his head on Severus' belly. He sighed then, closing his eyes. "Read to me?" he murmured sleepily. "I like your voice."

“Alright then, I will” he smiled picking up one of the book and opening it, flicking past the first few pages and finding the first chapter to read. Clearing his throat he looked down at James from beneath the book and touched his hair before taking a deep breath and starting to read. “Pregnancy and the symptom’s that come with it” he began as he looked down at James and wondered if he was still actually awake on his stomach as he gave his hair a gently stroke.

Not long after he had begun, they'd both dozed off where they lay, the book falling flat to the floor - forgotten as they slept.

***

The air was crisp and chilly outside as the afternoon began to dip towards evening, the sun still present in the sky and bathing the world in soft, orange light. The restaurant they'd picked held was a quaint family-run cafe where all the tables were arranged outside. Magic kept any adverse weather off, created a warm atmosphere and subtle lighting, offered music so that it had all the comforts of the indoors but with the stunning view of Hogsmeade in the beautiful afternoon light. 

All in all, it was perfect.

James swirled his fork through his pumpkin and sweet-potato salad and watches Severus with a smile. He seemed unaccountably nervous and flustered tonight, apparently very aware that James was making every effort for the 'perfect date' he'd described.

Severus sat quietly as he ate his fish (have read that it was good for him) and glanced up at James now and when knowing that he was doing everything Severus wanted from a date but he still felt nervous about being out in public and feeling like everyone was looking at him especially since he had decided not to use a glamour on his belly this time.

James pushed the croutons from his salad onto Severus' plate, knowing how much he liked them and then began to cut into his steak. "You don't have to be nervous you know," he mused, "it's just me. We've done infinitely more devious things." He smiled more broadly and cocked his head as he chewed his first mouthful. "It's because this is your first date, isn't it?"

“Well yes…I mean let’s face it I’m not exactly the most attractive person in the world…and I’m not popular either” he said as he gave his fish a poke with his fork before going after one of the croutons and eating it. “…But this is really nice…thank you…I know you really wanted to go out on this date” he said giving James a smile. 

James regarded him carefully, pausing with a fork halfway to his mouth. "I hoped you really wanted to as well," he said tentatively, feeling a little uncertain. Severus was so withdrawn sometimes and they had started out together in this so poorly, he wondered if, while this was Severus' idea of a perfect date, if it as really James he had wanted to share it with.

He didn't realise his thoughts were so evident on his face until Severus' hand touched his sleeve, jerking him from his thoughts.

“I did want to come out on it James” he said with a smile rubbing his arm with his thumb as he looked at him. “I guess I’m just still jumpy about being out in public where people can see me and whisper things” he said stroking his belly. “Like people pointing and whispering about my belly and…what you would even see in someone like me and maybe I’m blackmailing you…but I want to ignore all that and enjoy are date together, my perfect date even if it’s not anything special to most.”

James dropped his fork and reached out to grip Severus' wrists gently. His thumbs skittered over the warm skin of his palms as he stared into his eyes. "I don't give a damn what the rest of the world thinks, the people that matter know the truth," he said firmly. "This is special to me I - I just wanted to be sure that this is what you wanted. That I was what you wanted." He gripped Severus a little tighter. "And you should realise by now that you really are the most attractive person in the world to me..."

Severus gave his a smile as he moved his wrist to hold onto James’ hand with his own. “I…I still feel a little unsure about are whole…relationship thing and everything but I’m very slowly maybe starting to get used to it. But don’t get your hopes up alright” he said giving his hand a small comforting squeeze to show that he did care about James even if he didn’t really know how to show it.  
James offered a crooked smile. "Of course not," he said softly, and squeezed Severus' hand a final time before returning to their meal.

"I got a letter from mum this afternoon," he said after they'd cleared their plates and dessert had been ordered. "She said she received a rather ruffled looking owl from you - said not to worry though, that it was fine and enjoying a little holiday in the bird-bath." He stared at Severus, but the man would not meet his eyes, a slight flush on his cheeks. James cleared his throat. "She said thank you, for the picture of the baby." 

Severus' head snapped up at that and James nodded appreciatively, emotion evident in his eyes. "I... My parents mean a lot to me, Sev. I've only got so much time with them and the...the baby... It meant the world to them that you thought of them. It meant the world to me."

“Well…they are her grandparents and I thought that they really deserved a picture of there granddaughter as well…that and they were really nice to me over Christmas and I didn’t really get them a gift so I wanted them to have the picture and to know that she was strong and doing alright” he said as the waiter turned up with there deserts and placed them down on the table. Severus had ordered a sweet chocolate cake and Severus mouth all but watered at the sight of it but he shook his head focusing on the conversation again.

“Sorry that I didn’t tell you that that was what I was doing the owlery that night…I guess I was embarrassed to tell you that I was sending letters and pictures to your parents” he said as he picked up fork and took a piece of his cake and put it in his mouth his eyes instantly lighting up as the taste touched his tongue. “Wow this is really good! Here cakes try some” he smiled as he removed another piece and held out his fork for James to take the cake as he tried to lick away a stray piece of chocolate he could feel near his mouth.

James' eyes smiled far brighter than his lips could as he leant forward toward the fork. "You're giving them a gift far greater than any other, you know," James said softly before closing his lips around the dessert offered to him. His eyes nearly rolled up into the back of his head it was so good. He groaned, tongue flickering out to gather every last trace from the fork. Severus' eyes glittered, tongue unwittingly mimicking the motion.

Before he could help himself, James reached forward, thumb swiping the flake of chocolate from Severus' mouth. He brought the digit to his lips and sucked. "Mmmm," he said with a grin. "Delicious."

Severus gave a blush to the action before holding his fork down again and taking another piece of his cake. He liked having James around he always knew the right thing to do and say and knew all of his limits when it came to things especially during sex which Severus realized they had been having a lot of recently and he found himself wondering why he didn’t give his and James’ relationship more of a chance.

“Hey James…what’s your idea of a perfect date? I mean you know mine so what would yours be?” he asked feeling a little stupid for the question but he really wanted to know what sorts of things James would like to do and he half guessed it might be something involving brooms as he knew that James loved flying more than most things. 

"Well, it's not Madam Puddifoots' poncy tea room," James said with a wry smile, Severus at least seemed to agree with that. They both cringed at the thought of the flowery, perfumed, doily-smothered little room. "I dunno really. This is pretty good though," he said seriously after a moment, gesturing to the restaurant around them, their current date, Severus' ideal.

He thought for a little while. Then he flushed. "I suppose I've always fancied taking a walk through a wild meadow in the afternoon sun, maybe a forest or something. I'd like to lay down in the wild-flowers and just feel the grass on my bare feet, under my fingers..." He cleared his throat, not meeting Severus' eyes. "Cheesy I know..."

“Not at all!” he said quickly as he looked at James then blushed when he realised he had raised his voice. “I think that sounds really wonderful…I think I would like to do that…when the weather warms up I mean. It will be nice getting out and feeling the grass between my toes and finger” he smiled as the thought seemed to run though his mind of lying down in a big flowery field with the warm sun and a cool breeze.

“I would like to do that with you James, maybe we can do it at your home sometime or something. You do have a very nice forest and a lot of grassy areas, that and you can visit your parents as well.”

James lifted his eyes to Severus' and smiled. "Yeah, it is nice there. I think maybe that's why I like the idea so much - that forest, I used to spend most of my time in it as a child. I felt...free there." He brushed the back of his finger gently across Severus' knuckles. "I'd really like it if we did that together." He hesitated, but couldn't stop himself. "I want to do everything with you."

“Well you pretty much have, you have taken a lot of my firsts James Potter. My first date, my first sleep over…my first kiss and sexual experience” he said the last part in a shy whisper. “And most importantly, you were the first one to break though my barrier and touch my back and I think you know what a big deal that is to me” he said taking a sip of his drink with his free hand as he continued to look at James. “So you see you kind of have already done everything with me.” 

James' boyish smile never faltered. "I know what it means to you, it means a lot to me too," he said earnestly. "You've shared a lot of yourself with me, it makes me happy. I...I suppose I'm just greedy for more. I want to share everything with you that...boyfriends are supposed to." He glanced around them, not really looking at anything in particular. "You know, dancing, going to the zoo, having a holiday together, swim in the ocean..."

Severus raised a brow as he looked at James. “Have you really been thinking about all these things? I don’t even think about what I’m doing tomorrow” he said as he looked at James finding it hard t believe that he had been thinking of all these things for them to do together and Severus hadn’t even thought about it once. “I…I think I would like to try dancing” he blushed looking away from James not able to meet his eyes. “But I will probably be bad, I’ve never done it before.”

James beamed, exciting. "Me neither. Moony is brilliant though. Maybe we can go with Lily and him? As I understand it, it's who you're with that matters, not if you're good or not." He felt a thrill of happiness rush through him at the thought of Severus wanting to share more with him.

“You…make it sound like you want me to do this in public” he said looking at James and wondering if he actually liked that idea. “And anyway I think your daughter might prevent you from getting to close to me to dance with” he said with a light laugh at the though of James trying to put his arms around him and either finding it to hard or getting kicked by his daughter.

James chuckled. "Maybe after she's born. That can be our first date once she's born." He blinked thoughtfully. "Shall I get the bill? You ready for the next stage of our date, Mr Snape?" He was fidgeting excitedly in his chair. He had a maddening urge to hold Severus' hand and it took him a moment to remember that Severus was his boyfriend now. He could hold his hand if he wanted to. He did so, stroking the inside of the warm palm contentedly and smiling as he blushed when the waiter approached. He did not take his hand away.

“Yes, I think we should get the bill. I could use that walk after all that food. Especially that cake I think I might pay for that one later when she’s kicking me all night” he smiled at James as he stood from the table. “I think I might use the bathroom while you’re paying if that’s okay, my bladder is being squished right now by your charming daughter.” 

James nodded, finding the fact that Severus felt comfortable discussing bodily functions with him oddly endearing. Severus disappeared toward the toilets and James stood, dropping a few extra galleons on the tray for the waiter's tip. He smoothed out his robes, heading for the exit and looking around thoughtfully, waiting for Severus to return. As he looked up, he saw Sirius just walking in, Narcissa Black on his arm. 

They both froze, not expecting to see him and James thought that perhaps they were standing too close for two cousins, however estranged they had been beforehand. Sirius had been very close to her since Malfoy...

James bit his tongue, trying not to think about that. His best friend looked flushed and awkward (utterly un-Sirius-like) and Narcissa Black had an elegant hand wrapped around Sirius' arm, the other resting on the soft swell of her belly. She was blushing too but smiling all the same. It was she that approached him. 

"Good evening, Mr Potter," she said softly, holding out a hand, letting go of Sirius in the process. James blinked at her and then Sirius. As he took her proffered hand and kissed it as etiquette dictated, met Sirius' eyes and knew instantly, that Sirius hadn't wanted anyone to find out just how close he was getting to Narcissa Black.

"Pleasure to meet you properly, Narcissa," he said brightly, for though they'd been to school together all their lives, he'd never spoken to her. Sirius had been the one to take all the 'shifts' protecting her, now he knew why.

Sirius coughed as if clearing his throat but it was actually because he was feeling uncomfortable about was happening in front of him. “So…what are you doing here mate? Its not like you come to a place like this” he said gesturing to the restaurant in question as if James didn’t know what he was talking about.

“He’s allowed to eat out alone if he so wishes Sirius, it’s not unusual for someone to want to eat alone from time to time rather that be squished up in the great hall” she said looking at him and a warm smiled as he just gave a nod.

James just looked between the two of them. It was obvious how comfortable they were with each other, how easy their conversation flowed. Easier, perhaps than him and Severus. He didn't know how he felt about that - or what to say that his best friend was romantically involved with his own (pregnant) cousin. He wasn't judging by any means but he'd never come across it before in reality and now he was dumbfounded, uncertain what was appropriate to say and not wishing to offend.

As he opened his mouth, struggling for words, however, he was saved by Narcissa giving a soft gasp, hands flying to her belly. "Sirius!" she gasped, tugging his hand to rest there too, "he moved! He's so strong! Do you feel him?"

“Holy Merlin I do!” he said in surprise as he felt the baby kicking at his hand as it rested on Narcissa’s belly. “He really is a strong little guy, he’s going to be a great wizard there is know doubt about that” he smiled as he looked at her belly in awe at the wonderful feeling. “Better he careful James I think your little girls going to have some competition in Hogwarts” he said grinning at his best friend before removing his hand from Narcissa but not before giving her belly a small stroke that he thought know one saw.

“Oh yes Sirius told me you and Severus where having a little girl, congratulations” Narcissa smiled as she stroked at her stomach feeling the baby start to slowly settle but still kicking out every now and then.

James nodded, feeling oddly shy at having someone else speak about Severus and the baby, someone outside of his small social circle. "Yeah, I can't wait. My mum always wanted a girl to spoil. Luckily she's due after NEWTs though so Severus and I have time to cope with that before she arrives." He glanced around, seeing Severus coming back towards him. "You and Severus should spend more time together, it'd be nice for him to talk to someone who has an insight into what he's going through - teen parenthood I mean." 

He reached for Severus' hand as the man came to stand beside him, eyeing Sirius and Narcissa curiously.

“I would like that and it would be nice to have some pregnant company around” Narcissa said with the lightest of laughs as Severus raised a brow having know idea what they were all talking about or what was even happening. “What do you say Severus would you like so spend some time together during one of our free periods this week?” she said in a calm and half dignified way as she looked at him.

Severus looked at her uncertainly but gave a nod in response to her question. “I believe that would be acceptable, I have nothing happening after classes and it’s becoming impossible to do anything with her in the way” he said as he looked down at his belly and was glad he was still able to just about see his feet but he knew that probably wouldn’t last must longer.

James snaked his fingers between Severus' and squeezed. "So as you can see, I'm not on my own," he said to Sirius and Narcissa. "We're sort of...you know, on a date." He looked to his friend expectantly, wondering if he would admit as much to him, that he was clearly on a date with Narcissa. He wondered how long this had been going on, how long his friend had hidden this from him but then, he supposed he hid a lot of what happened with Severus from him...

“A date huh? I guess that must mean things are really getting serious with you two, I’m surprised that he would allow you to take him out on a date” he said looking at James before looking at Severus.

“And that about you Black out on a date yourself?” Severus asked as he looked between him and Narcissa who both seemed to blush and as Narcissa turned her head away Sirius seemed to stand up a little talker as if you seem intimidating and to stop the questions being asked.

“No we’re not we just decided to have a change of scenery, Narcissa said she missed going out to eat from time to time so I though I would take her out for a meal and get her away from the castle for a while.” He said as if he was putting his foot down on the matter, that was what was going on and nothing would change his answer.

James quirked a brow, wondering if Narcissa was hurt by that dismissal. Her face was stunning but stoic as ever, so he couldn't tell. He smiled reassuringly at her in any case and tugged Severus gently, heading toward the exit. "Enjoy your meal then, see you both tomorrow," he said brightly, eager to leave. He couldn't stand the awkwardness between Sirius and him.

Leaving the restaurant and walking a short way down the road Severus looked at James. “Well…that was really awkward” he said dismissively before looking ahead again and wrapping his fingers around James’ hand lightly having just let them hand loosely there before without really holding James’ hand but now he gave a small smile as his fingers rubbed gently against James’.

“It’s a shame it’s not spring, it would have been nice to see the sunset over the lake” he said quietly more to himself than to James.

James blinked for a moment, looking up to the sky. The sun was low. It would be setting soon. Thanks to it being a Hogsmeade weekend, however, the carriages pulled by thestrals were waiting diligently to return them to school. They didn't have long but they wouldn't need long either. He grinned at Severus. "Who says we can't?" he grinned, helping him up into the carriage. "Come on, if we hurry we can still make it.

Thestrals were amazingly intelligent creatures. They knew what you wanted, they just understood you. They diverted from the usual course up to the castle once they passed Hogwarts' gates and took them right to the waterfront. He hopped out first, then offered Severus a hand to get down - but Severus froze in the door of the carriage, staring at the place James had arranged before they'd left.

A large section of ground, as wide as the Gryffindor common room was perfectly thawed, devoid of snow and under a protective charm that kept it pleasantly warm and snow-free. The grass there was lush and dry, the air above glistening softly with magic in the orange light of the waning sun. It was beyond the heart of winter and so the surface of the lake had already thawed, only a few scattered drifts of ice floating in the cold water. The ice floats glittered like diamonds on the surface.

Insecure and uncertain, he glanced up to Severus, waiting for him to say something or move. "I'm not completely useless," James said after a moment, chuckling gently.

Severus said nothing but stared in wonder for a long time before finally looking at James and taking his hand. “Did you really do all this just for me?” he asked looking at him with wonder in her eyes as he stepped out of the carriage. “This must have taken you hours James…and you really did this…just for me?” he asked as his eyes watered feeling overwhelmed at the situation and the beautiful scene that James had laid out for him, he had never imagined this in his dream of his first date, it was better than perfect.

James squeezed his hand and led him into the magic-protected grassland, the threstrals taking the carriage back up to the castle. He sat down and watched Severus as the man eased onto the ground beside him. His movements were growing more hesitant, more careful recently, very aware of their daughter ever since the scan. James cocked his head a little and stared at him thoughtfully, taking in everything, the way the orange light illuminated his dark eyes, his pale skin...

"It didn't take me too long," he promised, staring out across the lake. The sun was very low now. "Only a little while. And I did it because I thought you'd like it." He glanced at Severus out of the corner of his eye. "You do like it, right?"

Severus gave a small smile as he watched the sun slow lower and he tipped his body to the side so his head could rest on James’ shoulder never taking his eyes off the scene for a second. “I love it James…it’s just wonderful” he smiled from James’ shoulder as he gave there connected hands a squeeze. “I wish there was something I could give you that is as wonderful as what you have done.” He said tilting his head to look up at James from his shoulder his obsidian eyes bright from the setting sun.

James' brown eyes were a dark amber in the waning light. He beamed softly and leant in, eyes closed, not kissing just pressing their foreheads together, their noses just touching. He breathed him in for a few silent moments before he spoke. "You already have, don't be silly," he murmured quietly.

Severus shook his head lightly as there foreheads rubbed together. “I haven’t done anything but push you away…I haven’t done anything for you” he said lightly as he stroked James’ hand and knowing there really was nothing he had done for James that had topped that very moment, the most he felt he had done was get pregnant and that wasn’t something that was planned.

James drew back just enough to look in those eyes, but not to separate them at all. They were still so close, yet not close enough. Never close enough.

"You gave me a second chance when I didn't deserve it," James said solemnly. "You're...you're letting me..." he bit his lip. "Letting me love you. I can't ask for more than that."

Severus looked at him for a while before giving a warm smile and leaning forward to kiss his lips lightly, that had been the first time he had ever initiated a kiss that wasn’t during sex. He drew away and looked at James seeing the stunned look on his face from the light kiss.

"I..." James breathed, lashes fluttering against his cheeks as his eyes roved Severus', his face, his mouth. "I love you. I won't...I won't keep saying it, I know it makes you uncomfortable and it's alright that you don't feel the same. But I do. More than anything. I just...I just want you to know that." He punctuated his words with a soft, smooth glide of their lips together, their tongues touching only slightly before he drew back to study Severus' face again.

“Sorry I cant say it back to you…I know how much you would like to hear me say it back” he said glancing away from James and down at there hands before lifting James with his and placing it on his stomach. “But she loves you a lot in my place” he smiled as the baby kicked out hard at the hands as if she had heard the comment earlier and wanted to show she was strong to, Severus gave a small giggle to action and tried not to wince at the hard kick.

James just smiled fondly. "I don't say it because I want it said in return," he assured him, "I say it because I want you to know how important you are to me." He petted Severus' stomach but then slid his hand up to cup his neck, thumb dancing gently across his adam's apple. "You, in your own right, not just her. Both of you. Equally." He held that gaze unwaveringly, before kissing him again, drawing back to watch the sunset.

Severus smiled as he water the sunset with James and rested his head back on his shoulder again as he felt tears roll down his cheek, the day had been so overwhelming and now this, it was just all to must for Severus and his crazy new hormones to handle and he quickly tried to wipe them away with James noticing them and worrying out him as the sun slowly get the sky about began it’s slow decent into turning dark.

When the sun's orange rays had faded into a dark lavender dusk, James gave a soft sigh and flopped back into the grass, arms outstretched, hair a mess and eyes closed in the cool, oncoming night. "Sirius is involved with Narcissa Black," he said thoughtfully, wondering what Severus thought on the matter. "I don't really know what to think about that. What do you think?" He blinked up when Severus laid down beside him.

James turned his head in the grass to look directly in those dark eyes, rolling on his side to brush his knuckles over Severus' stomach slowly.

“I don’t really know what to think. I guess it’s really up to them if they want to date or whatever…and I think pure blood families have there roots all knotted and twisted up if you know what I mean” he said looking at James not knowing if this really answered his question or not. “And if there happy together who are we to say any differently. I just think it’s nice that Sirius seems so excited and attentive about Narcissa’s baby, not many guys would be that thrilled about someone else’s baby especially a Malfoy baby” he said looking at James as he stroked his belly as well his finger tips just brushing over James’s hand lightly as it loved.

James nodded absently, running a hand through his hair. "I know. And I'm glad they both have someone, glad there's going to be someone to look out for the baby." He stared up at the sky. "I'm not judging, I think I of all people have no right to judge, I just wondered..." He sighed. "I just didn't know what to say to him. You know?"

“Just say that you are happy for him” he said lightly turning his head to look up at the sky as he moved closer to James. “And you did want him to settle down and stop sleeping around with every girl in the school, so just say you are happy for him, because you are there is no lie there and you will get used to them being together just as he got used to us.”

James nodded. He blushed darkly then, avoiding Severus' eyes. "I'm not disgusted or anything. I just... I've never met anyone who...you know, with their own cousin." He risked a glance at Severus. "I feel a bit like a boy whose just seen a pair of tits for the first time or something." He laughed nervously, even Severus smirked at his bluntness. 

"You know what I mean," James continued. "It's just sort of...disarming. Strange, you know?"

“Yes, I think I can see where you are coming from with that but…Sirius does seem really happy and I’m sure that he has doubts about there relationship as well because there related. That’s why he got all defensive in the restaurant” he said turning his head to look at James as his fingers played with a blade of grass.

“And…I bet if you looked back though family trees you would find that we are related in some way to, remember my mother was a pure blood. Does that freak you out that you might be sleeping with one of your cousins?” he asked with a small grin on his face. 

James winced. "Yes, it does," he rolled over Severus so he was half leaning over him in the grass. "Not enough though," he raised his eyebrows playfully. "Does that disturb you?" He laughed when Severus did and smoothed their lips together gently. When he drew back, they were both still smiling, it was almost surreal. 

"Since when did you get so insightful?"

“I’ve always been insightful it’s just you never notice or when you did you bullied me for it” he said looking up at James. “But I’m glad that you are finally noticing now just how wonderful I am” he said with a wave of his hand before laughing a real full on happy laugh before looking up at James and reaching out a hand to stroke at his cheek and smiled as he looked into his eyes.

James shuddered, skin prickling delightfully and he closed his eyes, just relishing the moment. Some of those words would have been considered a set-back in any other situation, but Severus' teasing tone, his laugh...

"So, Severus Snape," he aside after a while, his eyes bright and shining when they opened again. "What would be the perfect end to our first date?"

Severus seemed to think the question over he had never thought about how he wanted his date to end. “Well…I wouldn’t mind just going back to my room and sitting in front of the fire” he said giving James a smile before blushing slightly and looking away from James’ gaze. “Maybe…I could even sit in you lap or between you legs and read so of those books to you” he said a little quietly feeling silly and embarrassed at mentioning such an idea to James, but he felt it was better than saying that they should have sex on the rug in front of the fire.

James beamed, boyish and endearing again. "Sounds perfect," he said, brushing a swift kiss on Severus' lips before scrambling to his feet, offering Severus a hand up. Together they made their way back up to the castle, James knotting his fingers in Severus' as they approached the wooden bridge. There were a few straggling students there, evidently dithering, not wanting to return to their dormitories. James tensed, wondering if Severus would pull his hand away. They'd not 'outed' themselves as an official couple yet after all. 

The students were hufflepuffs too - no one gossiped more than a hufflepuff.

So focussed on the students that turned to watch their approach, neither he nor Severus noticed the rat watching from the shadows. The rat with far too intelligent, human eyes.

Severus lowered his head a bit so that he didn’t have to look at the hufflepuffs that seemed very interested at looking at them in that moment and moved closer to James until there robs covered there connecting hand so they couldn’t be see, he didn’t want to break his hold on James just yet at least until they made it to him room where know one could see them unless they were pressed up against Severus window that looked into his room.

"You feeling awkward?" James whispered. "You can...let go, if you don't want them to see us," he said, although the thought made something thick and heavy clog his throat. He wouldn't push. He'd asked to much of Severus already...

Severus just shook his head seeming to have lost his voice in that moment as he squeezed James’ hand tighter showing that he didn’t want to let go of his hand know matter what was going on. “…I’m alright” he said in a very quiet voice still not lifting his head as he kept it lowered and he stayed close to James’ side.

"Oi! Potter! Aren't you going to introduce us to your girlfriend!" One of the Hufflepuff boys called out as they passed. "Or are you the girlfriend?"

"Piss off you scabby little fifth year," James snapped back. He didn't know how all these students knew him by name, probably from Quidditch as he didn't know them from Adam. "I bet you fifty galleons his cock is bigger than your stumpy little prick." He paused then, staring at the stunned fifth years, drawing his wand menacingly. "Unless you want your mates to have a nice view of your pants I suggest you jog on."

Severus seemed to freeze up at there taunting words, it had been a few months now since anyone had openly said anything like that and it seemed to catch him off guard and made his squeeze the hand he was holding more tightly as it shook.

“…I want to go” his said in barely a whisper as he stayed hidden behind James trying to stay out of sight of the hufflepuffs and worried that they would say of do something to him or the baby.

James bristled, torn between doing what Severus wanted and doing what he needed. He stepped aside so the man was no longer behind him, but in full view of the hufflepuffs. "You're a stronger wizard than they are, stronger than me even, I reckon. Don't hide, Severus, don't be afraid of their words," he whispered and gave a fraction of a smile. "What happened to the boy who fought me back tooth and nail? You're far scarier than a couple of hufflepuffs." he glanced carelessly over his shoulder at the still stunned boys. 

"Have you little scabs forgotten how dangerous a slytherin whose good at potions can be? I assure you, he's just as good at hexes," he said warningly.

“But James my magic is all over the place right now” he whispered to him. “And at the time of fighting tooth and nail with you I didn’t have to worry about an extra life getting hurt so it didn’t matter what happened to me” he whispered, it was true he was scary when it came to hexes and potions that could do a number of many different things to it’s enemies but in that moment Severus just didn’t seem up to any of it and he could have done with there date not ending on this sort of note. 

James studied him thoughtfully, then, slowly he nodded. "Fair enough," he said before whirling around and pining the largest boy to the wall at wand point. "So listen up you little twat, if anyone so much as sneezes in the direction of Severus or my daughter I'll roast them over fiendfyre. Gossip about that before Charms tomorrow, why don't you." He spat, before turning back to Severus, offering a final, warning glare at the now subdued fifth year.

Severus took a quick glance at them before looking away again not wanting to make eye contact with any of them as he felt James place a hand on his lower back obviously moving him away from the situation and back on there original path of heading to his room. “…thank you for that” he said quietly as he slowly started to raise his head again and look up at James.

James shrugged. "Well, when our daughter is born you can safely threaten to hex their bollocks off all by yourself," he said, pulling his arm round Severus as they neared his room. "It is sort of my fault you're...ah...indisposed?" He caressed the side of Severus' belly gently. "For what it's worth, I think you're just as scary now as always." He smiled mischievously, pushing open the door to Severus' room as they reached it.

“Oh yes very scary, I cant control my magic that well and I can just about bend down to tie up my shoes, yes very scary” he said sarcastically but with a bit of humour in his voice. “OH! And I sometimes burst into tears for no reason because of my womanly hormones…somehow I don’t think I would be very scary to anyone right now” he smiled at James as he walked into the room and took him shoes off, letting out a sigh of relief as he did so. “And anyway I have you around to look after me right now so I don’t have to worry about being scary right now” he smiled at James as he moved to sit on the floor in front of the fire place and leaning back against the couch for support.

James knelt down on the floor between Severus' legs. "It means a lot that you trust me enough to protect you," he said seriously, knowing that Severus probably only trusted two people besides him - Lily and Dumbledore.

With a small smile he sprawled across the floor, head resting on one of Severus' legs. "Come on then, we've a good few books to get through," he said.

Severus smiled down at him before pulling his wand out and aiming it at his desk to hover one of the book over to him and James. “You think you can manage to stay away this time as I read to you?” he asked looking at him and trying not to laugh as he opened the book and placed it down on the floor beside him so that he could still see James rather than hiding behind the book.

James nodded, staring up at Severus to show that he was paying attention. "If we can get through the stats and numbers chapter to the fun bits I will," he says playfully. "Come on, I'm ready." He rolls his head a little so he can look at Severus' belly as he prods it firmly with his fingertip. "You listening in there baby girl? This involves you too you know."

“Maybe it would be better if she didn’t listening, she doesn’t know what she might here” he said looking down at James before looking down at he list of chapters and wondering what would be best to start with. “Well what would you rather here about, what my body will be going though in the next few months or the risks that are involved in all this?” he asked lifting his head to look at James waiting to see what he would pick.

James winced. "Get the risks over with I suppose - although it's a bit late now. You're more than half way there." He waited and then Severus flicked to the beginning of the book and began to read aloud. The words washed over him, words about how the potion Severus had ingested had been developed, how it worked and the most common risks. 

It was when they got to the risks that Severus faltered. James frowned. "What's the matter?" he prompted. He rolled up onto his elbows when Severus' face went white. "Sev? What does it say?"

Severus jolted his head up to look at James feeling like he was having an out of body experience as he looked at him. “Um…it’s…it’s nothing. Nothing important at all really” he said shutting the book and pushing it to one side pretending that it didn’t exist. “Should we go have a bath? I think we should go have a bath” he said quickly trying to change the subject and take his mind off the book and what he had read.

James sat completely upright and reached for the book - only to find Severus' hand slamming down on it - preventing him from opening it. "Severus," he said firmly, "what is it?" He saw the pain, the fear on that ashen face and watched as the arm went limp in defeat. Only tearing his eyes away from Severus' at the last minute, he flicked the book open to the right section and scanned through it, trying to find what had the man so terrified.

It wasn't difficult.

"Shit," he breathed, his stomach plummeting. "Why the fuck did no one mention this to us?"

47% survival rate for the carrier with no complications after birth. Only 34% survival rate for the foetus with no far-reaching complications.

"Did you know about this before?" he asked, his voice almost inaudible. "Did Pomfrey or anyone else ever mention this?"

Severus looked at James and very slowly shook his head. “No…no they didn’t tell me anything” he murmured his skin seeming more paler than normal as he looked down at his stomach and now knowing the dangers of the whole situation. “the only thing I was told…was that I couldn’t abort her when I found out about her…that was all I was ever told” he said feeling his hormones get the better of him and feeling his eyes tearing up again.

He lifted his head up to look at James.

“I guess…you wont have to worry about me if I choose to leave once she’s born…cause I might not live though this anyway” he said in a shaky voice as the tears began to train down his cheeks.

James flew to his feet, shaking with rage and emotion. His eyes stung but he was too angered by the flippancy of Severus' words to shed any tears. "That's the most fucking insulting thing I've ever heard," he hissed through gritted teeth. "Haven't you heard a word I said tonight? The last few months? I love you! I worry about you! I don't want to lose you - either of you! Not to death or your own fear of letting yourself care about another human being!"

He tore away from Severus' side slamming his fists down on the top of the stone fireplace, eyes closed, head resting against the wall. He was still shaking. He was still afraid to look at Severus. The fear of what he had read and the anger at Severus' words were roiling in his gut like a surging tide of acid. He felt it rise up his throat to choke him.

"How...how can you say that?" he gasped. "Do you think so little of me? Of my feelings?"

“No it’s not that” he said looking at James as a tear fell from his cheek and onto his shirt. “But you have to understand that I don’t even have a 50/50 chance of living thought this…I know that you love me James and want, us in you life but you have to realize that it might not happen” he said coming so stand on white shaky legs, the thought of loosing his life giving birth to there daughter scared him and how James was acting at the thought of loosing him scared him as well but in a different way.

“James…I don’t want to die…but…it looks like I might not get a say in that” he said with his head lowered as he stood in place with his arms around him feeling somehow safe that was. 

James whirled to face him, gripping Severus' shoulder fiercely with eyes bright and fiery. "Don't ever say that I don't care about you life again," he murmured darkly. "Ever. I won't let you die - I won't let you. Do you understand? Whatever it takes." He glared into his eyes before snatching up the book again, rifling through the pages furiously. "See! Here! Loads of cases where the baby and the parent have survived and come out just fine. Some even had twins! It's not impossible!" He punctuated his words by tossing the book hard at the wall. He thought he heard something tear.

“Yes and did you look at the loss rate of one or both of us!” he snapped back at James. “Yes there have been other men who have lived though this but there have been many cases where they haven’t James so stop yelling at me this isn’t my fault!” he yelled as he moved across the room to his desk and picked put one of the other books and throwing it open. “Look see, he all the things that could happen and there all little things you cant prevent when she starts coming James, it’s her or me but if you are lucky you WILL get to keep both of us legs just hope that I’m one of the 47% that are lucky!”

James gritted his teeth. "It's not luck. It's what I know. I know you'll both be ok. I feel it, alright? It's fine so stop scaring yourself with the possibilities. Nothing is going to happen to either of you." His voice was firm. His belief was firmer. They would be ok - it was the only outcome he could see.

"Stop fixating on death and ruin and for once in your life bloody dare to hope for something!"

“Why should I! I dealt a shit hand in life from the moment I was born, I am the most unlucky person you will ever meet it’s probably my fate to die in the hospital wing!!” he yelled before turning and kicking the stone wall he was faced with there and screaming as he was sure he had just broken his foot on the relenting wall and after a moment falling back to sit on the floor with his back to James as he drew his knees up and placed his face in them trying to seem small.

“…I don’t want to hope…cause then I wont be disappointed if it all goes wrong” he whispered quietly. 

"Don't you dare curl in on yourself like something insignificant, like a frightened child," James snapped, hauling Severus to his feet and pressing him against the wall with his fingers digging into Severus' arms. "Don't hide from me. You're not that child anymore, Severus. Just because you were dealt a shitty life doesn't mean it has to stay that way." He stared ferociously into his eyes, brown eyes dark and firm. 

Their faces were inches apart now, the slither of air between them thick and heavy. James winced when Severus' own nails bit into his forearms to try and make him let go, but he did not release him.

"If you want it to change, you have to make it. I'm one of the richest fucking wizards in England - you'll have every medical marvel on hand. I'll sell the fucking blood in my veins if that's required but you will not die. Not you or our daughter. Don't hope, if you're afraid to. Just fucking believe it. I'll make it true if it takes every ounce of magic in my body."

“Stop it! Just stop it I don’t want to hear that you cant change anything with money James fate is fate and life is life when it ends it ends!” he yelled trying to push James away but he was a lot bigger and stronger than Severus was and he just found himself pinned against the wall more and the grip on his arms tighten. “James you’re fucking hurting me stop it!!” he yelled digging his nails into him more to try and get him to move.

James winced and released his arms, instead slamming his hands flat onto the wall either side of Severus, his expression unchanged, still hard and lined with pain. "It's that kind of thinking that had me spending my entire childhood worrying if one day I'd wake up to find my mum and dad stone-cold dead on the kitchen floor," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "They were given a year or two to live at the most and they are living proof that you can defy the odds. I'm not losing anyone - I refuse!"

They held each other's gazes for a moment longer, until James snapped. He seized Severus roughly by the hair at the base of his neck, knotting his fingers in harshly and tugging - hard, until his head was ripped back, the long line of his throat exposed, his mouth turned up, vulnerable. James ravished it. He slammed his lips to that mouth and prised them apart with them, tongue purposefully and fierce inside as it stole his lover's breath.

With a free hand, he yanked Severus' trousers open roughly, hearing fabric tear and not caring. He shoved the fabric down to the man's knees and pressed a hand to his cock through the flimsy material of his boxers, already semi-hard and hot.

“James…What are you doing” he gasped feeling unsure about what was happening he was sure they were in the middle of an argument and this shouldn’t be happening at this point and he tried to push James’ weight off of his and stop his advanced even though his trousers where already down around his ankles probably with a broken zip.

“James stop it get off…why are you doing this?” he asked and gasped as James stroked at him roughly refusing to be pushed away by Severus know matter how hard he was trying to get him away.

"Giving you something to live for," James said gruffly against his jaw, nipping, sucking, licking. He kissed his throat and pressed in closer. "And make-up sex, never done that before," he said with a wry grin against his flesh. He flicked his tongue across his bobbing adam's apple, just as his hand stole inside Severus' briefs to grip his hardening heat. James and Severus groaned in unison. James sucked his neck appreciatively. "You're so hard for me. Come on, fight me. No docile Severus tonight. Angry make-up sex." He whispered the last, as if it would spoil the mood and kissed Severus soundly on the mouth again before flipping him round so Severus' cheek and shoulders were pressed to the wall.

James gripped his hips with one hand, pulling them outward, toward him so Severus' backside was on display. The hand slid down to grip his hardness again and stroke him roughly. The other pressed between his shoulder blades, holding him in place against the wall.

“J-James stop it! I’m not in the mood for this!” he snapped and tried to move away struggling against James’ hold but he was to strong for him and even if he was saying no his body was defiantly saying yes to everything that was happening in the room.

“I don’t want this to be the one thing I live for…I’m not some whore to be played with!” he yelled but soon found James just grinding his hips up against him despite his struggling to get away and he was sure the movement was just turning James on more.

The hand James had placed between Severus' shoulder blades slid up to grip that hair again, tugging Severus' head back so he could catch those eyes. James frowned, uncertain. "Do...do you really not want it?" he breathed raggedly, his other hand still stroking Severus' hot cock. "Tell me now and I'll stop." He was scared, he was frustrated and insecure, he knew Severus was too and he'd wanted to find solace in his lover's body, but only if Severus wanted it too. He did, didn't he?

"Don't you want to just...escape? Everything?" James panted against Severus' cheek, leaning over his pinned body. He waited, eyes closed, nuzzling Severus' skin. He waited for the words - to stop or to continue.

Severus sighed as he glanced away from James not sure how he should answer, they were just fighting but…James wanted to forget about everything that was happening in that moment and in a way so did he.

“I…I want to escape…I don’t want to think about any of this” he said shaking slightly as his mind began to fill with thoughts of him in the hospital wing and something going wrong. “Please James…I want to escape…make me forget everything” he said turning his eyes to look can at James with a pleading look and pushing his hips back against him to show him it was alright to continue with his advances know matter how rough.

"I'll take you away," James breathed, nipping his ear gently before drawing back a little, enough so that he could stare down at Severus' arched back and exposed buttocks. He groaned at the sight and spread those cheeks to glimpse the pink, puckered hole. "Get your legs open," he demanded. "Wider." He watched as Severus struggled to do so without moving his shoulders and cheek from the wall. Those long, pale fingers gripped it as he widened his stance, pushing his arse out more.

"So good," James whispered appreciatively, hand dipping to caress the swollen belly that was enhanced and on display here. Right now, when they were both this wound up, when things were this intense, it send a thrill of possessiveness through them both. "I like that this is getting bigger," James murmured, caressing his stomach. He liked it more than he should, he thought. "Everyone knows you're mine..."

“The proof is there loud and clear” he breathed his eyes glancing back to look at James and seeing the grin and his face as he caressed his swollen stomach showing his liking for it as he pressed his body against him. “Who knew you had a fetish for pregnant people, I’m going to have to keep you away from Narcissa if this is the case” he said with a wide smile and trying not to laugh before his pushed his arse up against James and rubbed at his groin.

"Only on you," James panted, stroking that stomach a final time before gripping Severus' cock again. He stroked it generously, firm and slow as he coated his fingers of his free hand in saliva and slid them down through the valley between Severus' cheeks. "Mmm, you're so hot down here. You're twitching." The pad of his forefinger skipped over that tight, twitching hole. "Tell me what you want me to do. Tell me how to make you forget, relax..."

Severus turned his head to look at James this time as he looked into his eyes for a long time. “I want you to fuck me hard…I want you to do what ever you want to me” he breathed reaching his hands back and spreading his bum cheek apart to give James a good view of every pat of him. “I want you in here…and…and maybe…you could spank me a bit” he said blushing bright red at his own words.

James groaned, pushing until the tip of his finger popped inside, spreading his spittle in the channel that gripped him hungrily. "I love it when you let go," he whispered, swiping his thumb over the weeping head of Severus' cock with every twist of his wrist. "Every time I can feel a little bit of you breaking free."

He glanced around then, not wanting to use magic to open Severus to him, wanting more intimacy, more raw passion and spied the jar of oil he sometimes used to massage his back and shoulders. Tipping a generous amount directly onto that exposed crack, James watched as it glides down across pale skin, oozing into the man's arse that Severus' fingers were still holding open. James squeezed his lover's cock appreciatively, sliding his thumb inside that slick, juicy arse so that he could reach down with his fingers and fondle his full, tight bollocks. 

Severus groaned into the wall and rolled up onto his toes with the movement. James smirked. "Like that baby? Like me touching all your dirty parts? Does it make you forget everything?"

“Y-Yes…yes it does” he panted as he let out a moan of delight at the touches and caresses he was receiving from the man behind him who knew every spot on his body that would make him quiver and moan the way he did.

“It feel so good James…it makes my toes curl” he said as his toes did indeed curl into the carpet of the floor, this only seemed to happen to him when James touched.

"That's it. So sexy, push back into me, let your body go with it," James murmured, his thumb circling round inside that soft, wet heat, spreading him open, massaging his balls and perineum all while jerking his cock. "I'm going to use this hand," he squeezed Severus' balls again to illustrate which one, "to pluck your tender little nipples while you finger your arsehole for me. I want to see you stretch it open so my cock just slides in."

With no further warning, he withdrew, never ceasing the motions over Severus' cock as the fingers of his other, lube-slicked hand slid up to dance feather-light over a hardening pink bud. "Come on," he urged, "get that hole wide open for me, I want to see you do it..."

Severus blushed at the thought and James words, he had never done it himself before and never thought about it either and here James was asking him to do it. “I…I cant” he panted but his arse twitched wanting the contact back from where James had left it hungry and wanting more.

His body quivered under James gently touches over his sensitive body and his felt on of his fingers moving unconsciously towards that twitching ring of muscles before circling it and feeling how wet it was from where James’ fingers had felt it, the sensation was strange under if finger but felt so good he couldn’t stop himself pushing his finger against the muscles until it slipped inside and Severus let out a moan.

James groaned alongside him, his own cock hard and throbbing at the image. He paused in his torture of a rosy nipple to tip a generous dash of oil into that crack again. When Severus' finger moved it made a slick, squelchy sound that made James' heart pound. He reached up and plucked a nipple just this side of roughly, watching and feeling that flushed body shudder against him, against the wall.

"Mmm, sexy," he panted, "come on, more. Open yourself right up. Show me how pink and wet you are inside." He rocked forward, grinding his own neglected cock against Severus' buttocks. "I'm much bigger than one finger. Make yourself nice and loose for me."

Severus blushed at the words but gave a small nod and rubbed a second finger to his entrance before letting it slide in with the first the next time it slide inside and he moaned feeling his muscles tighten around the new finger and letting his body widen around it. “Do…do you like this? Do you like watching me finger myself for you?” he asked letting his eyes glance back to James as he released his arse and stroked at the thick pulsing vain of the underside of James hard cock.

"Bloody love it," James gasped, rocking into Severus a little harder to give some friction to his erection. He pumped Severus' cock faster, urging him into more bolder action. Sure enough, he watched those fingers spread that clenching, pink place open. He tugged on the nipple in his grasp until he heard Severus' breath go ragged. "Mmmm, wonder if I keep tugging on these I'll get something out of it?" he teased, feeling Severus shudder at the embarrassment and kinkiness of the suggestion. "More, come on Sev."

“I…I cant, it’s all to much!” he cried sliding a third finger in and moving his fingers more quickly in and out of his body as he spread them wide inside his twitching burning body and he pushed himself up against James erection and rubbed against it. “I want you to take me now James…just fuck me I can’t take it anymore!”

James growled deep in his throat, twisting the neglected nipple and letting go of Severus' cock to slap his arse - hard. "You want me to fuck you up against the wall?" He slapped him again, watching the firm flesh of his arse pink and tense. Severus rocked with the motion, rolling his hips back and forth as if searching for more.

"Maybe I need convincing?" he teased, rubbing his leaking cock into the cheek he'd just smacked.

Severus panted as he removed his fingers feeling the muscles still twitching for more as he reached back and ran his wet fingers up and down the length of James erection hearing him let out a light moan from the action before taking a hold of it and guiding it between his arse cheeks and to the wet twitching entrance as it pulsed against the tip on James cock causing him to shudder. “Take me” he panted before he started to push his hips back against James and felt him cock side inside as he let out a moan and shuddered from the heat and fullness he was feeling.

James' entire body shuddered. He couldn't help himself, he slid in to the hilt, the movement slick and easy, Severus' heat twitching around him in welcome. "Fuck," James panted, knotting a hand in that dark hair and tugging Severus' head back roughly, hauling him tight to his body. His hipbones touched against those flushed arse cheeks. He grunted, drawing back so just the head was inside, holding still long enough for Severus to let out a pitiful sound of need, to see the desperation glisten in his dark eyes.

"Oh no," James teased in mock-sympathy. "Want my cock back?" He smacked his arse again, harder than before, fingers knotted tight in his hair at the base of his neck. "You like me pulling your hair? Smacking your pretty little arse? I can feel your hole fluttering around me every time I do both." He dove in, deep, hard, enjoying the way Severus shook with desire and groaned wantonly almost as much as the way his body sagged and tried to follow him when he withdrew to the tip again.

"I don't think you're quite deserving. You're such a bad boy. Such a dirty little slut." He leant down, mouthing the skin between Severus' sweaty shoulder blades, still only filling him with the flared head of his erection - even though it required all of his restraint to do so. "It's freeing to be bad sometimes, isn't it? Don't you feel better? Free?"

“Yes! Oh Merlin yes!” he cried wanting to push back against James but finding a hand on his hip holding him firmly in place making him unable to push back against James. “Ah, stop playing with me…I can’t take it…please…fuck your dirty little slut…spread me wide and take me. I want your whole cock inside of my arse” he panted shuddering so hard with hand it sent vibrations though James cock and made him moan out in pleasure and grip Severus heat to keep him and himself in place.

James laughed in breathless joy, his cock pulsing at those words and spitting pre-emission across Severus' buttocks. He rubbed it in with the swollen, purple head of his cock. "See what you do to me? You're so gorgeous. So dirty, I love it..." He smacked those pink cheeks again, sliding the head of his cock over that open, twitching ring. Severus' fingers vanished, scrabbling at the wall to give him more leverage to lift his backside into James' motions.

James beamed. "Look at me," he insisted and waited for Severus' to look over his shoulder at him, sliding his cock up and down that slick crack.

Severus turned his head back to look at James his eyes will with want and lust and he could see how much this pleased James from the grin that was on his face, he loved dominating Severus and he took every opportunity to prove it to him.

“Come on James just do me…stop making me wait” he panted pushing his arse up against James’ erection and grinding against as he felt it twitch between his cheeks.

"So impatient."

Smack. James smacked him and squeezed, massaging the fleshy globes and spreading them wide as he did so. It made that opening shudder and pucker under the kiss of his cock. He groaned at the sight, holding those eyes again as he rocked forward and slid in.

It was like liquid heat swallowing him, squeezing him. He slid in with one, long movement, until his balls were resting against Severus'.

Severus let out a long high moan as his hands tried to grip at the wall for something to stabilize himself but finding nothing there so instead spread his legs wider and tilted his arse higher up to James as he panted and let out low moans as he felt James hand trail over his scared back and into his hair and feeling him tug on the dark hair.

“James…yes…more” he moaned moving his hips side to side and up against James there heated skin touching in a pleasured way.

"Mmmm yes grind back into me Sev," James panted, rolling his hips just right to grind into the special place that made Severus cry out against the wall. He held those cheeks open to watch his cock slide in and out, the pink, slick skin stretched around him. Then he slapped them hard, gritting his teeth at the pleasure that rippled through his cock as those walls gripped him in reaction.

“D-don’t do that…I might crush you” he moaned looking back at James as he grinded against him and allowed his body to relax around him but still leaving a small amount of pressure in him body to all James to enjoy the pleasure of his tight arse pushing against him.

"You can try," James panted playfully, "Your little hole is so soft and open. I like feeling you tense up around me." He punctuated his movements by smacking one cheek again, squeezing so hard his fingers dug into the flesh. His cock throbbed at that heat clenched around him again. "Mmm, that's right. You like your little arse getting spanked?"

“N-no that’s…that’s not true!” he panted out even though he knew in some ways it was try and others it wasn’t as he stared moving his hips back and forth even with James holding him and trying to keep him still so he was in control but Severus could wait his body ached and arched for more contact from James. His body was so hot he could feel beads of sweat forming on his pale skin.

"Yes," James groaned, "squeeze me. Squeeze me while you fuck yourself on my cock." He seized a handful of hair again and forcing Severus to hold his gaze. "Watch me while you do it. I want to see your face." He grinned with boyish, aroused playfulness and swatted him again with his free hand, driving his cock in deep. "Come on, fuck me back. Take what you want."

“Ahh!” Severus moaned loudly as he pushed his hips back hard against James till he heard there skin smack against each other from him movements and he clenched his body around James’ length as it penetrated him. “Ah Merlin…so good! More…give me more James!” he pleaded as he looked into his eyes where his head was held in place.

"So sexy," James growled, fisting Severus' cock fast, hard now, fingers keeping hold of that hair so Severus was forced to look at him as he fucked himself on his cock. James rocked with the undulations of his hips, circling his own and grinding in deep each time he bottomed out. "Fuck. Yes. Make you forget - make me forget...!" That arse was tightening around him in slick, greedy spasms. It made heat roil in his belly, deep and carnal. He tightened his grip on that hair, holding that gaze.

“Ah! Not so hard” Severus hissed feeling the grip in his hair tighten and feeling sure he had just lost a chunk of hair but never slowing his thrusting motion back into James feeling his body burn and ache all at the same time as he clawed at the wall. “Ah James…I can’t stand it…please…make me come, I want it so bad!” he pleaded arching his back and pushing his arse up to James more.

James' wrist gave a little twist each time over Severus' throbbing, dripping need. His grip eased a fraction on his hair but did not loosen entirely, did not allow Severus to look away. "Sorry baby, just a little rough," he promised gently, voice hoarse and husky with arousal. "Just rough enough for your dainty little backside." He punctuated his words with a harsh slap on one of his pink buttocks. "You don't need to come yet, do you?" he teased breathily, "I don't think you need it bad enough."

“I do…I want it so badly!” he panted rubbing right up against James as his muscles twitched hungrily around James’ length wanting to swallow it whole and take everything it gave. “Please James…I want you to fuck me and make me come…I want you to come inside of me I want it so bad!”

The tightness in James' belly was almost painful. He was shaking with the intensity and he gave a long, desperate groan through clenched teeth. He ducked forward, tucking his face into Severus' shoulder as he rocked hard, fast and tight against that sweat-slicked flesh. He sucked and kissed and bit that shoulder and neck, stroking Severus hard, tugging his hair so that his head was pulled back to expose his throat to James' kisses.

“Ah Merlin yes! Yes! More!” he moaned loudly and at this point he was glad his room was sort of sound proof or he was sure the whole castle would hear him yelling and they would have no doubt what was happening. “Feels amazing…I…I can’t take it, I feel like I’m going to explode.” He moaned rocking back into James with every thrust and tilting his head more to give James more access to the skin of his neck.

"You're so sexy. Want you. Can't get close enough." If he somehow managed to bury himself inside this man entirely he still wouldn't be close enough. Gripping his hair painfully once more, he sucked that neck harshly. Jack-hammering his hips and tugging Severus' cock even through his own orgasm as it ripped through him, sending his body into rippling spasms. His climax spilled inside that clenching chute.

“Ah fuck! James!” Severus cried out as his bucked with James’ speedy movement and he could feel the tight knot in his stomach growing painful. “Ah fuck JAMES!!” Severus cried out as his body spasmed and his back arched as he came hard and fast into James hand and the floor beneath and his body shook with the release leaving him panting and dizzy his legs shaking.

"Mmmm, I like being inside you when you come," James breathed against his neck, nuzzling the space he'd just sucked so hard it was already a dark pink. He released his hold on his boyfriend's hair and stroked it gently before the hand slid down to wrap around Severus' chest, further supporting him where they stood, still joined and shaking as they rode out the afterglow.

"You make me forget all the bad rubbish that's going on," he murmured, closing his eyes and just pressing his nose in closer.

“You only forget…is you stop mentioning it” he panted turning his head to look at James. “I…I want to lie down on the bed now…my feet hurt and I’m tired…you don’t even have to pull out just shuffle me that way” he said and he would have laughed if he wasn’t so tired, it had been a very long day and it was now starting to catch up with him in a big way. “So tell me…was it good for you too?” he asked managing a very small airy laugh.

James gave a small, raspy laugh and kissed his neck a final time. "Mmmm, like me being inside you afterward, do you?" he breathed, half-heartedly pulling back and letting his lover amble over to the bed. He cast a quick cleaning charm over them both before dimming the lights and crawling into bed with him. Fuck the books. He'd burn them tonight while Severus slept. Fucking load of tripe. They didn't know what they were talking about. Severus and the baby would be fine.

Fine.

Without giving Severus a chance to think, he slid over him, effectively trapping him in the sheets. There he held his surprised, sex-glazed eyes for a brief moment before seizing his lips in a slow, languid kiss, pulling him tight to his body. "It was bloody amazing," he whispered against that mouth before kissing him again.

“Well I’m glad, but I don’t think I can do it up against a way to often. She’s heavy and my feet hurt from standing so long” he smiled at James and shuffled closer to him resting his head on his chest as he pulled the blankets tight around himself. “You are going to stay tonight aren’t you? Your not going back to the dorms or anything?” he asked glancing up at him from his warm place against him under his sheets.

James beamed lazily, stretching out on his side alongside Severus and wrapping his arms around him. "I'm staying. I'd stay every night if you let me," he said, closing his eyes and sighing as he felt every limb relax. He could feel the tension draining from the body wrapped around his as well. "And don't worry - wall sex isn't mandatory. Bath, bed, floor, settee, I'm not fussy." He felt Severus smile against his skin in the dark and slid a hand down to caress their baby gently.

“Maybe some sex on the rub in front of the fire would be nice…very romantic” he said smiling against James side thinking that he might like that, a reason to be all sweet and romantic with him and act like a real couple. “But then again at some point I will be so big that I will just lay where you put me and let you do what you want as long as I get a nice foot and back rub at the end of it” he said with a huge grin and tried desperately not to laugh at the images forming in his head.

James snuggled in closer and let his eyes drift shut. "Mmm that sounds nice. Rug sex, we'll have to try that one." He yawned widely. "We should try and do all the places in Hogwarts before we leave in May. The Owlery, the Astronomy Tower - mmm-sure I can think of more when I'm more awake..."

“The bathrooms are off limits…I don’t want to do it in there again” he breathed burying his face in James’s chest and breathing in his scent. Having James so close made him feel so safe and warm, he really wanted to give everything to him but still felt like something was holding him back from that.

“…Tomorrow I want to do something special for you” he murmured feeling the sleep start to take him.

James tried to blink blearily, but only managed to crack open an eye and look down at the head of dark hair snuggled into him. "Something special?" he asked, words slightly slurred with sleepiness. "What kind of special?"

“It’s a surprise” he murmured his eyes already shut and his body relaxing. “Now…go to sleep or we wont wake up tomorrow and you wont get your surprise” he said breathing a sigh of relief and putting an arm around James.

"MMmnnn-nooo," James half-yawned, half-groaned as he stretched and wrapped his arms around Severus more firmly at the same time. His body was being tugged rapidly towards sleep. "Like surprises..." He managed out before the warmth of Severus' body and the sort of pleasant exhaustion only sex could bring lulled him to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looks like next week will be the last chapter guys and girls!  
> The story will finally come to an end!

Chapter Ten

Severus awoke before the sun the next morning and he sat up rubbing at him eyes the bed sheets draping around him and still keeping him warm. Looking down at his belly he grimaced at the stretch marks that were making themselves very visible at this point. “These better so away once you are out” he whispered before turning his head to look at James seeing him sleeping peacefully next to him.

He smiled reaching out a hand and lightly brushing away a strand of hair from his face and listening to him let out a sigh. “You look so cute and innocent when you’re sleeping…if only the world knew what a pervert you really are” he said holding back a laugh as he stroked his cheek with the back of his hand. “Maybe I should read those books while you’re sleeping” he said his gaze drifting slightly to his night stand where his books were.

"Don't even think about it," James muttered, lashes fluttering open. He wrapped his arms around Severus and tugged him clumsily back to the bed. With a burst of sleepy, contented laughter he rolled him over until he pinned him to the sheets and beamed, kissing the corner of his mouth dazedly. "Do serious stuff today - I've decided."

“Serious stuff? Like what?” he asked looking at James with a sleepy smile on his face before reached for the bedside table and picking up James’ glasses and sliding them onto his face. “You mean like going to your quidditch practice today…and are you happy to actually see me now rather than a blur?” 

James blinked at him, struggling to focus through the veil of sleep. He was confused. Then he realised the source of his confusion. "S'rry," he mumbled, sitting back and regarding Severus carefully as he tried to force his mind into coherence. "Meant 'no serious stuff' - no books, no stupid statistics, just..." He struggled for words, dragging his thumbnail up Severus' instep. "What shall we do today?"

“Well we can do whatever you want” he said looking up at James as he touched his arm. “But you have your practice this afternoon and you are going to go to it James Potter…and after practice you will get your surprise. And make sure you shower I don’t want you coming back to my room later stinking” he said looking up at him and giving him a small smile.

James frowned at the words, before he broke into a grin. "Severus Snape, when did you become a little nag?" he mused. "And should you really be giving me incentives to beat your house at Quidditch for the seventh year running?" He leant in, brushing the backs of his knuckles against Severus' swollen belly. "Erm, you know... How long will this surprise take to get ready? Can you do it while I'm showering and eating after practice? Because I...well..." He chewed the inside of his mouth thoughtfully. "The rest of the team's...errr, partners come to watch them for the last practice before the last game of the year. It's...sort of tradition, you know? And I was hoping maybe you'd sort of...come. To cheer me on, support me. If you had time."

Severus looked at James his eyes a little wide and he sat up on his elbows. “You…want me to come and cheer for you?” he asked looking at him. “If you wanted the whole of Slytherin house to attack me for being a traitor you are going the right way about it…but I guess I could…try and find a way to cheer you on…and see your final match” he said glancing away from James feeling stupid for agreeing to go when he didn’t really like quidditch all that much, but he knew how much it meant to James. “And maybe your surprise will have to wait because trust me I don’t think you will want to rush it.” He said giving James a wicked grin.

James was torn between suspicion and bliss. "What is your devious little Slytherin mind plotting?" he teased, intrigued, before his features softened. "I don't want to put you at risk I just...I'd like you to watch me, is all. The match is Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw anyway so you won't be betraying anyone." He cocked his head and gave him a broad boyish grin. "I suppose you don't want to sit in the seats reserved for the players' boyfriends and girlfriends then?"

“You get those, really?” he asked in a disbelieving voice with a brow raised amazed that there would be such a thing in the school. Severus thought the question over in his mind finding the highs and lows of the offer, on the one hand he would be away from the Slytherin but on the other hand he would be sticking out like a dragon in the middle of the pitch in a place where everyone could see him and guess that him and James were an official couple.

“I…I guess I could sit there. But I’m not going to promise you anything, those stands are a long way up and when you are pregnant the climb becomes twice as hard” he said looking at James and wondering how he would react to his answer.

"We've had them since forever," he mused, remembering distantly that Severus really didn't follow quidditch at all. That Severus would make an effort to go made warmth tingle gently in his belly. He smiled. "If you'll feel really uncomfortable you don't have to worry," he assured him softly. Brushing the pad of his thumb across Severus' collarbone thoughtfully. The next words left him before he could stop himself. "It'd be nice to look down and know someone there is watching just for me." At Severus' frown, he sighed and glanced away as he answered the unspoken question. "Parents are allowed to come - they usually do for the last game of the year but... Mum and Dad have never been strong enough to make the journey."

“Oh James…I’m so sorry” he said reaching out a hand and stroking James’ cheek softly feeling bad that James’ parents had never been able to make one of his games when it was obvious that James would have liked them to be there. “Maybe they could still see your final game. I know they cant travel here but if I’m there to see the whole match I can put the memory into a pensive and we can all watch it back together next time we see them” he smiled at James hoping that the small idea might make him feel a little better as he would get to sit in the stands where he would have been and being able to watch with his parents. “…What do you think?”

James smiled tightly, sadly. "They do that already. I s'pose it's not the same as knowing they're right there watching - cheering me on. Not that it's their fault at all. I just..." He smiled more determinedly. "it's fine. I'm being stupid. You don't have to come if it'll stress you and the baby out," he reassured him, holding the hand to his cheek for a moment before kissing him swiftly and crawling off the bed, searching for his clothes.

Snape moved stopping James before he got off the bed by putting his arms around him and resting his chin on his shoulder. “I will come to your game” he said softly as he kissed his cheer staying close to his back. “I want to make sure you have someone cheering you on, other than the hundreds of girls that think they can make you swing for the other team again” he lightly giggled running a hand up James’ chest and over his nipple.

James giggled at the touch and caught the roaming hands in his own, thumbs stroking his knuckles gently. "Boy or girl, doesn't really matter. I swing for Team Severus." His cheeks flushed when he realised how cheesy that sounded and he cleared his throat, averting his gaze in embarrassment. "I...It'd mean a lot if you came though. You mean a lot."

“I already said I would come even if I have to turn up an hour early to get up all the stairs without being pushed out of the way” he smiled at James. “I will be there for your final match I promise, I wont miss it for anything even if I were to go into really early labour I will be there to cheer you on even if you wont be able to hear me over all the yelling” he smiled nuzzling lightly at James’ shoulder. 

James laughed. "Don't go too over the top," he mused, studying those eyes. He stared for a moment, before leaning in to brush a kiss at the corner of that mouth. Then he leant down in search of his clothes.

A half an hour or so later when James had showered and disappeared off to practice, leaving Severus to make his own way to the Great Hall for lunch, the slytherin was accosted by a tentative and tired-looking Narcissa Black. She swept into stride beside him on the way through the courtyard, one hand supporting her bump, which was overly large on her tiny frame. She looked like she hadn't slept in weeks.

"Good day," she said cautiously.

“Good day miss Black” he said politely but not really sure how he should react around her having not talked or been around her much. “How are you feeling today? Looks like everything is going well for you” he said motioning to her large belly before seeing the bags under her eyes and wondering what had been keeping the young women up at night. He guessed it might have been the baby, he himself knew how hard it was to get comfortable with a baby always moving around inside you and kicking you for know reason.

“Are you okay? You don’t look like you’ve been sleeping very much” he said looking at her as she let out a sigh and Severus steered her towards a bench and sat down with here as his own bump gave a little squirm.

Narcissa smiled thoughtfully, caressing her swollen belly. "He's big for his age, it's uncomfortable," she confided, glancing around and catching sight of three students sniggering and whispering cruelly as they passed. Lifting her chin a little higher, she turned her gaze back to Severus, determinedly holding her head high. "It is difficult too - doing this alone. My family, they blame me. Say I should have kept Lucius in line but..." She watched him uncertainly, but did not need to say anymore. It was obvious what she was too proud to say. That she had been too afraid of Lucius to do anything.

"Sirius has been good. This little fellow only sits still for five minutes when he can hear his voice," she smiled fondly at her stomach. Then met Severus' eyes, as if daring him to judge her. "I suppose you think I'm incredibly foolish? Adoring a child sired by such a demon?" she challenged.

Severus shook his head at her question and just looked at her as he answered. “No, I don’t think it’s foolish at all. But if you had asked me that at the start of my pregnancy I would have said yes because it was exactly how I felt towards this little one” he said giving his belly rub to settle down his daughters wriggling. “But at the end of the day you are still the baby’s mother and the one that it needs and loves the most in this world” he said gently.

“And about Sirius I don’t judge you can love whoever you want in this world whether there relater to you or now. With pureblood families there is only so far you can go anymore and me and James are probably related in some strange way though my mother so don’t worry about it alright” he said giving her a reassure smile and touching one of the delicate hands to show that he was telling the truth and that he didn’t care about there relationship (if they had one).

Narcissa froze, startled to silence at his unexpected understanding. Then she nodded, offering a small smile and nod. "Sirius is a brute at times but he is good to me - that's what matters. He's...uncomplicated. He says what he means, I find that is what I need." That was all she said on the matter. They continued walking and she sighed, as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

"This little boy may be half Malfoy but he is half Black too and he will be all good." She glanced pointedly at Severus' stomach. "I hear you are having a little girl?"

“Huh? Oh yes” he said a little started by Narcissa’s words as he looked down at his stomach. “We found out a little while ago, James is really happy to be having a little girl he can fawn all over” he said waving a hand and trying not to let out a laugh at the use of the word fawn since James himself was a stag.

“His parents are really looking forward to meeting her as well since she will be there first and only grandchild probably if James still want to keep me like he keeps saying” he said before letting out a sad sigh at the though of James parents and remembering the look on his face that morning before he had gone off to quidditch practice.

Narcissa frowned. "Keep you? You're not a favourite toy to be replaced. I am certain that is not how he feels either." She regarded him carefully as they walked. "I have seen how men that think that way look on their spouses. I saw it every day in Lucius' eyes. James Potter is not capable of that. He cares for you and your child. I envy you that."

“But…you have Sirius now don’t you? I can tell that he care a lot about you and that little one growing inside of you” he said glancing at her stomach as she rubbed at it obviously still trying to settle the baby. “Besides things didn’t start out that great with me and James either…I guess you could say that it was a disaster and something really scary…and we both ended up with are babies the same was and because of are past I guess I just have a hard time trust James with anything. But little by little I guess I have allowed him into my life even if I do keep a lot of things from him.” He looked at Narcissa and gave her a half smile.

“So you see you have nothing to envy, everyone have good ups and really bad downs but most of the time they work themselves out for the better, like you and Sirius. I know that you two would make a wonderful pair…and also great parents.”

"Perhaps," Narcissa said thoughtfully, though a small smile was gracing her beautiful lips. "You know, I never wanted children. It just wasn't... Andromeda, my sister was the one who longed for a family. When I saw what that longing did to her - caused her to be estranged from us because she fell for that muggle..." She sighed again. "I thought it was that that lost her to us, but it was my parents' intolerance. They couldn't accept what she wanted, just as they couldn't accept what I wanted. The only difference is she never gave in and I did..."

She looked down at her belly again, then seemed to shake herself, as if realising just how much she had revealed. She cleared her throat and continued. "They and Lucius forced me into this, I didn't want him and I didn't want a child but now I... It is odd. I can't wait to meet him. He is my whole world now."

“I guess it’s one of those things that you never realise how much you want something until you actually have it” he said giving her a smile before looking at his own belly. “Don’t tell James this but I still really don’t want to have a child that shares any part of it’s self with me genetics or name, but in a lot of ways I’m happy that I have this little one…even if she might kill me” he said in a low voice before shaking his head and trying to forget what he had just said.

Looking to Narcissa he smiled. “I don’t think you should worry about your parents, they might have brought you into this world but they don’t control your life and how you feel only you can do that. Because I know that you are a strong women Narcissa Black.”

Narcissa nodded gratefully. "Thank you. I appreciate the support." She frowned then, not missing a beat. "And I think you are too biased to make the decision of what is best for your child. Every child deserves the chance to get to know its parents. Both parents." The corners of her lips quirked up then. "And you know, she doesn't have to carry your name. That's the beauty of your situation."

“I know you are right, but still the though of any child having to have my DNA running threw it’s veins makes me feel sorry for it” he said rubbing at his belly. “But nothing can change that now and I’m sure it will be just like James anyway she always makes her opinions very loud and clear like he does” he smiled at the though of James and there daughter in the back garden of the Potter home and telling James that he wasn’t pushing her right on the swing and he gave a small giggle to himself.

Narcissa stopped again.. "You know, it may be none of my business but you were honest with me - I will now do the same for you. What you're talking about, the emotions you speak of, that's fear. Fear of failing as a parent, fear of your child making the same mistakes you made. Not what's right for your child." She smiled slightly, reassuringly. "Who will be there to ensure they don't make the exact mistakes you did? Only you know everything they shouldn't do. Besides, Potter is much too excitable to do the serious parts of parenting. He'll need you there to ensure we don't get another Potter clone."

Severus laughed at her words thinking of a small Potter clones as they pulled faces and whizzed around on broom sticks. “I think you have a very good point there but I don’t think I would make must of a parent especially when it came to discipline…I wouldn’t know what to do with scaring her half to death” he sighed thinking of how his parents would discipline him if he did anything wrong (or even if he didn’t) and he wouldn’t want that for any child most certainly his own.

Narcissa studied him carefully, her lips still caught in a semi-smile. After a moment, she looped her arm in his and they continued through the large double doors and into the main foyer, heading together into the Great Hall. Bacon, eggs, toast and more wafted up though the hall as they made their way to the an empty middle section of the Slytherin table. "I'm not an expert at this motherhood business," she continued as if she had never paused, buttering a scone. "But I do know that you grow along with your child. Have you not grown already? I know I have. You will learn with your daughter. That's the beauty of it."

“Hm, maybe I have grown a little but I would say by much. And I have book to read about what my body is going though with her in me…but James wont let me read them anymore” he said looking a bit disappointed but thinking it would be best to try and sneak a few pages then ever he wasn’t drifting around in his room.

“But I guess that you are right I am learning in my own way and I guess it’s not a bad thing either” he said giving her a smile before picking up a piece of toast and starting to butter it.

"Some things you cannot learn from books. I think I have experienced that much at least, " she said. She ate her scone carefully and poured them both a cup of tea each before speaking again. "Sirius burned all the articles about Lucius. Perhaps he and Potter are both just trying to protect us, hmm? I find it...endearing in some ways. I have never been the singularly most important thing to anyone before. No one has ever cared so deeply about my wants above all else that they would do such things. Perhaps you should consider it in that light also. Gryffindors are such hot-headed, literal beasts after all."

“You have a very good point there, they really are just that. But you are right if they feel that something is wrong they go out of there way to change it and make it better it just the way they are, so I guess there trying to make us better as well in some strange way” he said waving a hand before eating his toast. “And I have my own ways of thank Potter for that…but I wish there was a way I could give him what he really wants” he said looking into his cup of tea sadly.

"Even an outsider can see what Potter wants," she said, tipping an extra spoonful of sugar into his tea and stirring. "Even Sirius can and he's hardly the most perceptive man. He wants you - he wants to raise your child together. He's a man grown from a boy that has always feared he would reach adulthood alone and long a for nothing more than a family." She paused. "But you can only give him that if that is what you want also. What do you want, Severus, truly? If you could be selfish, focus purely on what you want, what would you choose?"

“Honestly…I have know idea what I would choose. I still feel that James would be better off with someone else and raising a big family together like he’s always wanted, but I can only give him the one child and know more and I never cared about my own wants and needs it’s just the way I am” he sais letting his thumbs play with the rim of his tea cup. “But the world says you never know what you have lost till it’s gone. I might not know what it is that I want right know but I know that if someone tried to take it from me I would not allow it and would do anything to keep it.”

"Spoken like a true...parent," she corrected herself before the word 'mother' could escape her. She smiled beautifically. "Perhaps just showing you are willing to give him a chance would be enough to make him happy for now. He was practically giddy when I saw you out on your...date."

“You really think so?” he asked looking at her. “To be honest that date was kind of for me, I had never been on one and I kind of let it slip with my knowing what my perfect date was and he did it all. Even getting to watch the sunset down by the lake, he melted the snow there and set up a warming barrier so we didn’t get cold” he smiled giving a blush at the wonderful memory.

“And you and Sirius sure seem tense and jumping when I came back from the bathroom and saw you, guess you weren’t expecting to run into me and James there” he said giving her an apologetic look.

"We are...careful not to be seen together. I am not..." she exhaled slowly, wincing. "I am not ashamed of him. He has been better to me than... No. I am just not ready for the bile from the rest of the world that will follow." She dropped a hand to her belly. "Once he is out and safe, then we can face the world. Together." She blinked at Severus. "We need to be careful to keep our stress levels down on the last trimester."

“Yeah I don’t think that will be happening with me sadly” he said giving her a smiled. “And I think you and Sirius will be fine whenever you choose to come out and tell the world about you two and I’m sure he will be there to keep your stress levels down with really bad jokes. Trust me I have heard them and there really bad” he said giving a small laugh as he rubbed at his back feeling it start to ache with his daughters squirming about.

Narcissa blinked. "I am sure Potter will do all he can to keep you as calm as possible," she glanced down to his stomach, then to where he was rubbing at his back. Slowly, she drew her wand. "May I?" she asked. When Severus nodded she gave a small murmur and a flick of her wand and the pain in Severus' back numbed. "A little trick I use often. You can use it safely in labour also."

“Thank you” he smiled glad for the relief in his back. “And I’m not really sure what I’m allowed to have or not during my labour, I’ve been thinking of going to the hospital wing at some point and asking since it will probably me Madame Pomfrey who ends up delivering the baby” he said not really liking the though of anyone looking ‘under his robs’ as it were and looking at think only himself and James had seen.

Narcissa clucked her tongue. "Madame Pomfrey is a talented and sympathetic physician but she is not a dedicated midwife. I'd suggest St Mungo's maternity branch or a home birth - would you not consider the Potter home as a location? I can recommend my midwife to you. She is a marvel. So professional too - she doesn't care that I..." She frowned, clearing her throat uncertainly. "What people say about myself or Lucius..."

Severus had never thought about having a home birth, would something like that even be a safe possibility for him. “I think I might think about that, I know I will have to discuss it with James though I’m not sure if he will like me having the baby away from St Mungo’s” he smiled at her before taking a sip of his tea. “What are you going to do? Are you going to be having your baby at home? It must be a lot nicer than that having a bunch of medi-witches around you”.

"I don't see why Potter wouldn't like it. A midwife would use the same magic at home as they would at St Mungo's. More private and respectful too, I find. I would like to have that option. Alas I..." she flushed darkly. "I don't have a home at the moment beyond Hogwarts," she admitted. "And Sirius and Lupin's glat flat is wholly unsuitable for a child."

“Maybe I could talk to James and you could have it at his house as well. He has a few spear rooms so he could set you up in there and Sirius always visits there when James is home and to be far I don’t really have a home either beyond here, I don’t really want to go back to my own home” he said looking at his belly and not wanting to think of every stepping foot into that house with her weather she was born or not. “I’m sure the Potter family would be happy to have you there and I know they will love having another baby around, especially this little girl I know she would love someone to cry with” he laughed.

“And…we recently found out some stuff that might make it bad for me to have a home birth so I think James would rather I was in St Mungo’s.” 

Narcissa stared at him, unsurprised. "Male births are more complicated. You can still choose your midwife and postnatal team in advance though. Especially with as much money as Potter has. It cannot buy happiness but it can buy comfort. You can order your own suite - don't be afraid to be demanding." She took a bite of a Rich Tea biscuit. "Perhaps I should come with you to St Mungo's to arrange these things if Potter wants to avoid them. You will find I am quite good with dealing with...difficult information. And with ensuring one gets the best of the best, of course. I would be happy to oblige."

“Oh no you don’t have to” he said. “Besides I don’t want to take advantage of James in that way he has done enough alright and I don’t want him to go spending money on me” he said hating feeling like he was stealing from James or having others think he was just with him for his money. Even though he knew James would probably agree with what Narcissa was saying and insisting they get the proper kind of people in for the birth to make sure everything worked out alright and there was know chance that he would…he snap his mind away from the last thought not wanting to think about it.

Narcissa raised an elegant brow. "That may be your view. But it is for his child as well as you. Do you not want this baby to come into the world with all the luxury and comfort her grandparents worked hard to earn? She deserves it, doesn't she?" She paused for a moment, as if debating whether to say the next part. "My son has all of the Malfoy wealth without even yet having left the womb. By extension, though my family have disowned me for trying to escape Lucius when he lived, I am rich. I am rich by Malfoy money. If it were just me, I would give it up but my son, he deserves all the comforts that money can buy him. To deny that money because of pride would be to deny him that money. Your daughter deserves Potter's as well."

“I guess you are right, but I don’t want her to grow up thinking she can have whatever she wants just because she has money. I want her to grow up good and not her selfish towards others and sometime money can just get in the way” he said with a sigh. “I mean I’m not saying having money is a bad thing but it shouldn’t be used when it really doesn’t need to be, I don’t need a luxury room top doctors I just want somewhere I will feel comfortable with a few people that can make sure everything will be fine” he said giving her a smile.

Narcissa sighed as if completely flabbergasted - though she smiled at the same time. "You are an odd one, Severus Snape," she mused. "Consider it at least. You want the best staff looking after you and the little one at least. And a private room so the whole wizarding world isn't looking between your legs." She glanced up toward the windows then, as if truing to gauge the time by the morning light. "It's the last practice before the final match next weekend. Do you two have any good luck rituals you engage in?" She teased.

Severus looked at her not understanding what she was talking about before he realized she was talking about quidditch. “Oh, um, well. This will really be the first and last match I have ever attended so I guess we don’t really have a ritual or anything” he said but he gave a blush thinking about what he was going to be doing for James tonight anyway. “I’m just sad though that his parents wont be able to attend his final match…he really wants them to be there but there is know way that they can make the trip here, he wont say it but I know it is making him really sad…I wish there was something I could do for him since I don’t think just my presence there will be enough.”

Narcissa cocked her head a fraction. "Ah, yes. I had heard the Potters were suffering from a dilapidating terminal illness. I confess I hadn't given much thought to what that meant for your Potter." She sighed, looking a little shamefaced. Then she glanced back to Severus, caressing her bump absently. "You know, there may be something..." she paused, her expression twisting as if pondering something painful.

After some time, she managed to gather herself, sipping at her tea as if it gave her courage. "My boy is the heir to all the Malfoy fortune. Including some...perhaps questionable heirlooms. Or at least heirlooms that the Malfoy’s used in a questionable manner." She glanced at him carefully. "There was a mirror. It could cover incredible distances to reflect what it saw to its twin - and vice versa. To look through it would be as if looking through a window into a room thousands of miles away. The Potters had a smaller, similar heirloom, I believe. I've seen your Potter and Sirius using them in their detentions. But those are limited, the mirror can only translate the holders words and face. You wouldn't be able to hold them up to show a room or - or a quidditch match." She beamed broadly. "The Malfoy mirrors show everything they can see once activated, not only the image of the holder. You could turn it so the Potters could watch him play."  
Severus looked at her wide eyed and speechless his mind seeming completely blank and not even in the room, he then did something he never would have expected himself to do he reached over and hugged her for a few good minutes before coming back to his senses and quickly moving away with a small cough. “Um yes…I think something like that would be…adequate for this situation” he said seeing embarrassed and stupid for what he had just done. “Do you think you would be able to acquire them for me for the match?” he asked sounding very formal as if he was in the middle of a business transaction. 

Narcissa blinked, stunned by the display of affection - unused to it, in truth, but smiled still, nodding. "The house elves are under instruction to care for Malfoy Manor and keep it in a fit state until my boy is old enough to decide what to do with it. I have no desire to live there nor to maintain it in person. But the house elves report back to me often. I can summon one and have them deliver one mirror to you and one to the Potters, perhaps with a note of yours instructing them what to do with it. They aren't too big. About the size of a pensieve."

“That would be wonderful thank you so much Miss Black, I know that this will make James really happy so I think I will let it be his surprise when he comes out and does his lap around the stadium before the match starts” he smiled at Narcissa before take a sip of his tea. “I mean only if all of this isn’t to much trouble for you to set up, I don’t want to go causing you any trouble.” 

"No trouble at all. Only please, it's Narcissa, not Miss Black," she wrinkled her perfectly pointed nose. "It makes me sound like an old maid. Have your note for the Potters ready for me and I will send it off with an elf this evening. They should have things in place fairly quickly." She looked at Severus fully once more. "So...do you have plans for today, while your man is at practice?"

“Well not really, I mean I have plans for when he’s done but not during his practice” he said with a slight blush on his cheek. “I was thinking about reading some of my books while I get the chance but I don’t really feel up to reading today so my day is pretty much free” he said giving her a smiled. “What about you? Do you have any plans while you man is at practise as well?” he asked with a cheeky grin.

Narcissa flushed and cleared her throat awkwardly, setting down her now empty cup and rising to her feet. "Perhaps you would like me to join you in your quarters where we can...educate each other using those books of yours?" She smiled softly. "Perhaps we can face the dangers of labour together?"

Before Severus could answer, Narcissa's bump, which was much further advanced than his, seemed to move of its own volition. Or at least the baby did, rolling so that a point of an elbow or knee was quite visible even through her dress. "Oh my," Narcissa gasped, poking at the offending lump. "He's a vicious little creature at times. Just you wait until your girl gets this far along. I cannot wait until this last leg is over, I can tell you." 

When she caught Severus' expression she looked around, not really caring who was looking and took her seat beside Severus again. "Would you like to feel him? He moves a great deal."

Severus looked at her belly wondering if it really would be alright to touch it. “Would it really be alright?” he asked even though his hand was already raised and gently touched the expanse of her belly and waiting before feeling a sharp kick to his hand. “Wow he really is a strong little guy isn’t he” he smiled looking at her belly amazed and wondering if his own little girl would ever kick at him as hard as the next Malfoy heir was.

"He is," Narcissa said affectionately. "Severus, I... I am glad I am not alone in this." She glanced around. The student body were not watching her at the moment, but a teen pregnancy, one with a man who had died mysteriously was not an easy one. "I love my son. But this journey has not been easy. I am glad to know someone understands." The little prominent elbow slide away under Severus' hand then, so that the bump looked more normal again. 

Narcissa sighed in relief. "We... That is, I want to call him Draco. Draco Black." She met Severus' eyes, as if waiting for him to judge her on not using Lucius' name.

Severus smiled warmly. “I think that would be an excellent name for him, there is know reason for him to be a Malfoy. I mean you never married Lucius and although his blood might run though your sons veins it doesn’t mean that he ever had any right to him, especially after the way he acted towards you” he said gently touching her hand and giving her a smile to show that it was alright and she was doing nothing wrong by choosing to keep her sons name as black, she was the mother and it was her choice who’s name the baby took just at it was Severus’ to choose.

“And for what it’s worth I think that Draco is a beautiful name for him as well, lets just hope he can live up to such a strong name. Although he is doing a great job already” he said with a light laugh.

Narcissa smiled, though her expression was tinged with sadness. "I cannot even begin to explain the things that man did, the things he said, the ways he...tortured me." She winced and straightened up, sweeping her blonde locks over one shoulder and running her fingers through it distractedly, as if this eradicated the words she had just uttered. "I will endeavor to be...unbiased when I tell my boy of his father. What I can, at least. But he is too good to carry that wretched name. He deserved better than that."

“You don’t have to go though all this all Miss Black, I mean Narcissa” he said quickly correcting himself as she gave him a small look. “You can ask others for help and they can also tell him what his father was like his good points and the bad ones. If you wish I can be one of those that talks to Draco when he is older and asking about his father and I’m sure my daughter will be there to help him and make him feel better if it’s too much to hear at any point. Because I’m sure they will grow up together and have little play dates” he said giving her a smile as he imagined two small baby laying on the floor babbling at each other.

Narcissa seemed to brighten at that thought. She glanced down to Severus' less advanced belly and smiled. "I'd like that." She eyed Severus a moment, as if unsure whether she should say the next part. "I don't ever want Draco to feel as alone as I have." She got to her feet then and looked at him expectantly. "Shall we go do our reading before your man finishes his practise?"

Severus gave a nod. “Yes I would like that” he smiled coming to a stand as well and picking up a biscuit before following Narcissa out if the great hall and started to make there way down the halls. “James wont let my read my books anymore, so now I think I will have to start doing it in secret so he doesn’t worry about me. I know he cares but stopping me reading them will just make me worry because I wont know what could happen…have you had a chance to read any book on your pregnancy yet?” 

Narcissa nodded solemnly. "I fear I have read too much. I have become somewhat of a hypochondriac in my pregnancy." She gave him a wry smile. "I'm probably the best person to help you face the possibilities. We shall have a read through them before he returns covered in sweat and adrenaline."

Severus gave a small chuckle. “I told him to shower before he came back but he probably wont listen to that” he smiled as they turned the corner towards his room. “And um…I think you should know that I have about a 30% chance of making it though this pregnancy…that’s why James is being all weird about the books, he doesn’t want to read anything else bad in them.”

Narcissa nodded solemnly as they made their way out of the hall. "I had heard as much. It mentioned something like that briefly in the books I read. Of course they weren't tailored to male mothers particularly so they didn't go into detail, but I got the gist." She surveyed him carefully. "Surely that is all the more reason to enjoy life, enjoy your child inside of you while you can? Enjoy your Potter, while you can?"

“I guess you are right…but I always see it as a reason not to get close to him. Because the closer he gets to me the more it will hurt if he does loose me and if he looses the baby as well it would just crush him” he said looking down at his belly and not liking the thought of anything happening to there daughter even though when he found out about her all he wanted to do was have her destroyed but now he wanted her to live and have many happy days with James and who she would probably come to refer to as auntie Narcissa and Draco. 

"Better to have lived and loved, then been hurt than never lived at all," Narcissa said seriously. "Your Potter is no stranger to loss. He lives every day with the knowledge that his parents might be taken from him at any moment. I think he would happily take the risk and share what he can with you while he has you."

“I hear what you are saying but isn’t it better that he not get too close to me? Then if he looses me it wouldn’t be such a blow in his life and make him feel like he was bad luck” he said as he looked at Narcissa. “I mean his mother gave her life to his dad and that was while she was pregnant and now there is me and my like is in danger because I’m pregnant with his child…how could he not feel that way about himself.”

Narcissa cocked her head to one side, stopping in her tracks. "Even an outsider like me can see what a headstrong, foolhardy gryffindor he is - and why. He doesn't want to have any regrets." They had stopped in the courtyard and in the distance, if you squinted, you could just about see a cluster of students whizzing through the air above the quidditch pitch. "You may only have one chance at this, Severus. Do not waste it by dallying in apprehension." She continued toward his room then, crossing the courtyard with him falling into stride beside her. They stopped at his room and the door opened to Severus' touch.

“Please come on in” he said motioning for her to follow and dropping the protective shield over the door to allow her to enter the room at anytime like he had done with only a select few people. Looking around the room he quickly spotted a pair of boxers on the floor that obviously belonged to James as they read ‘Gryffindor Rule!’ on them and he quickly grabbed them throwing them to the other side of the bed and out of sight and hope that Narcissa hadn’t just seen a pair of dirty pants on his floor.

Narcissa was smiling ruefully at him. "Oh my," she chuckled, closing the door behind her as she stepped inside. She glanced around the room. A spare gryffindor tie was slung over the back of one chair, along with a red and gold rimmed jumper. "Here I was trying to convince you to give your Mr Potter a chance and he's practically moved in." She crossed the room, wrinkling her nose up at the sex-mussed sheets - still smiling. "Indeed. I couldn't be happier for you."

“He hasn’t moved in…I just let him stay sometime, like when he has his late night patrols or...” he said then finding it hard to find a reason for the other times he allowed him to just stay in his room over night and couldn’t think of anything. “…alright I guess he does practically live in here with me but it used to be that he only stayed 4 times a week. I’m not really sure what happened to that deal” he said as he scratched his head before quickly going about making the bed.

"I think it's lovely. He adores you, you know." She took a seat in the relative safety of the chair by the desk and pulled the nearest pregnancy book towards her, beginning to flick through. "Have you given any thought to what your little girl might be called?"

“Well…not really. I do know 100% though that her last name will be Potter there is no changing that” he said as he finished straightening the sheets and made his way over to the desk and pulling up a chair there before sitting down with a sigh. “I guess it’s just not something James has thought about, I mean he hasn’t brought up the subject of baby names with me yet. I guess he’s not worrying until I start to get really close to my due date.”

Narcissa wrinkled her nose - not for the first nor last time. "You cannot let him name your daughter. She will be dubbed something frightfully mundane. Potter is a good strong surname, of course but her given name needs to be something striking and beautiful." She stared at him thoughtfully. "Names of stars or perhaps rare blossoms are a good place to start."

“Yeah maybe, but its also hard to name a child before its born sometimes. Sometimes the name you choose doesn’t suit the child when you see it so it might be a hard call to make” he said as he rubbed at his belly. “But naming her after a flower sounds sweet and maybe her will want his moms name to be her middle name. I mean she will technically be getting her last name from her grandfather.”

Narcissa thought for a moment, then seemed to recall something. "Abigail Potter, isn't it? And what about your Mother?" She watched as he took the seat opposite her at the table, her eyes not missing a thing. "Not much is known about her. But I remember seeing her pick you up from Kings Cross a few times. You looked...you looked like you loved her and she loved you, for what it was worth."

“If she had loved me she wouldn’t have abandoned me with my father” he said showing bitterness and also some sadness in his voice as he spoke those words. “I don’t want my mother’s name anywhere near this baby, none of the Snape or Black names will…no offence” he said looking at Narcissa and hoping he hadn’t just offended her with his words.

Narcissa nodded her understanding, but did not release is gaze. "It is odd. As a mother now, I cannot even begin to understand how she could have abandoned her son. Now I've felt him move..." she rested her hands on her belly. "Would you care to talk about it? If it helps, that is."

“I don’t see how it could possibly help” he said looking at her and not breaking the look. “I was obviously a nice idea for a while before she just got bored of having me around obviously and then just left leaving nothing but a stupid letter…she didn’t care about me or what might happen…she already knew what my father was doing to me and she still left me alone in that house with him…maybe she was hoping he would kill me, just beat me to hard one day and put me the hospital permanently.” He said starting to scratch at his arm as he got stressed out by his own words.

Narcissa frowned and seemed to be at a lost for what to do or say for a moment. She hadn't had much experience in comforting people, most likely. Eventually she reached forward, staring at his hand as she patted his arm gently, awkwardly. "I don't think that is true." She paused, thoughtful. "Perhaps you should go see her before the baby is born. It may settle all your demons and lay them to rest one way or another."

“Well if you know where he is I might consider it” he said bitterly. “She never said where she was going and I never got any letters or anything telling me where she was. She could be half way around the work or down in town and I would have no idea” he sighed leaning back in his chair. “…my family is so fucked I don’t stand a chance.”

"As I told you earlier. The Malfoys have many artefacts," she watched him gravely, as if ashamed of it. "I can find her for you." She hesitated again, moistening her dry lips. "Take it from a woman who has tried to bury so many demons. For yourself, for your daughter, you should at least try. You should lay things to rest, one way or another."

“No, she severed all ties to me the day she walked out the door she has no right to see me again and I don’t want to see her either” he said as he picked up one of his books. “I’m happier having know family…except this little one right her. She will grow up loved with James she will never know sadness and feel like she was left behind” he said stroking his belly with a smile before picking up one of the book from the table. “It’s better this way trust me if I see her I will just get really stressed out and I don’t need that.”

Narcissa shrugged elegantly. "If you feel that is best. No one can make you after all. I for one, would like to hear it straight from the source why she left, that's all." She regarded him shrewdly. "You're different to me in some ways though, I imagine." She beamed. "We both seem to have an affinity for arrogant gryffindors however."

“That’s for sure. Arrogant Gryffindors who love being up on brooms and beating things” he smiled running a hand though his hair before letting out a sigh. “It’s kind of strange though don’t you think? Are families go back through Slytherin for generations and here we are hooking up with Gryffindors, oh if are ancestors could see us now they would probably spit on us.”

Narcissa blinked. "You do realise that you talk like him. That you copy his mannerisms." She sat back with a small smile. "The way you ran your fingers through your hair just then, it was exactly the same as the way he does it. I think you've become closer than you think. Ancestors or no ancestors."

Severus looked at her with a raised brow before looking at his hand. “I don’t think I do, I just have long hair so I was pushing it out of the way. I don’t think I’ve picked up on anything from him, I mean you will never see me go near a broom I hate the things after James jinxed mine on are first flying lesson” he said remember how he got thrown around and he shuddered not liking the thought and deciding that brooms weren’t his thing jinxed or not.

Narcissa frowned a little, focusing back on the book opened in front of her. "You become...testy whenever a connection with Potter is mentioned. Let's read through these." She fell silent for a moment as she flicked through it. "I've read this one myself before. There is a section at the back - a whole chapter in fact - on male pregnancy..."

Severus raised a brow as he smiled at her. “What were you doing reading the section on male pregnancies?” he asked with a grin. “Got a big curious Miss Narcissa Black? I didn’t know you were such a curious person when it came to my pregnancy” he giggled before starting to flick though his own book and finding himself stopping on the risks page again and thinking that he should move past it quickly not wanting to know anymore than he already did.

"I like to know I have read a book from cover to cover," she said simply, folding the book open more thoroughly and pushing the open page toward Severus. "This page contains the most...unfortunate, statistics, I suggest you read these first and prepare yourself. It's better to be prepared."

Severus glanced at the book. “I don’t know if I should read it, it might end up putting me down and then James would know what I was up to and he would get mad at me because he told me not to read them again today” he sighed leaning his head back and wishing that there weren’t any risks involved in this whole thing and that everything would go smoothly.

"Well, I suspect Potter believes that it won't change what will or won't happen. If it's going to happen, it will, whether you'd researched it or not. Perhaps he just wants to see you happy and not worrying for a little while." She glanced out of the window and although you couldn't see the quidditch pitch from this direction, it was evident she was thinking about it. "He'll be back with you soon."

“Guess that means I should start getting ready soon” he said stretching his arms in the air before looking out of the window as well. “I promised James a surprise when he got back from his practice, guess I cant go back on my word now and let him down” he smiled watching the sky outside and half wishing he could see the quidditch stadium from his room. “…Narcissa…do you ever…do anything for Sirius?” he asked with a light blush. “You don’t have to tell me or anything…I was just curious.”

Narcissa cleared her throat in an attempt to hide her own blush. "Your embarrassment tells me exactly what you mean by that. I..." She cleared her throat again, sweeping an escaped white-blonde tendril behind her ear. "We may have...dabbled in...you know...binding each other. Perhaps some foodplay." She forced herself to look up at him, chin pointed in defiance. Daring him to laugh at her mortification. "I wouldn't even be telling you such things, but you have confided a fair amount in me this morning." Regarding him shrewdly, she smirked. "You're planning on doing something devious for your Potter, aren't you?"

Severus blushed lowering his head a bit as he played with his fingers. “Um…well…yes. But it’s mostly just to say thank you for the wonderful day he gave me and everything he has really put up with until now. Besides I still don’t really know how I feel about him or anything, I mean I like having him around but I don’t thin I would call it love. So I just want him to have some fun now in case it doesn’t last” he said raising his gaze to look at Narcissa as a strand of his black hair fell into his face.

At this, Narcissa beamed. "Now that is the most sensible thing you have said all day. That's what a relationship is meant to be based on. Both of you enjoying each other to the fullest." She folded the book shut and pulled it into her arms, as well as a few of the others. "Potter is a noble sort, he'd most likely be thrilled that you're intending to...enjoy him. I will take these and make notes you can easily skim through. It might be a less daunting read." With this, she stood, making for the door.

Severus stood and followed her as her though her words over in his head. “Thank you Narcissa. Not just for the book but for everything, it’s been really nice talking with you today and being able to get a few things out in the open” he said giving her a smile as he opened the door for her. “Did you want me to walk you back to your room?”

Narcissa shook her head softly. "I don't intend to go wandering down any corridors alone. I will wait outside in the courtyard. Sirius will meet me there when they finish practice." She raised a delicate brow. "You really should follow my example for caution. We are...of interest to Voldemort for some reason. I dread to think what he may be planning. We must not let our guard down for a moment." She hesitated, elegant hand on the handle. Still staring at it, as is uncertain, she whispered cautiously: "Forgive me if I am out of turn. I know that he has been friends with Potter, Sirius and Lupin for some years but...Pettigrew. I don't trust him."

“I don’t trust him either” he said softly looking at the ground. “I don’t know why though, there is just something about him when you see him that makes you think untrust worth things about him” he said looking at the ground for a long time before raising his head to look at Narcissa again. “If I were you I would stay away from him and if you have the same protection on your door that I do I would never allow him in, just to be on the safe side.”

Narcissa nodded. "I wouldn't trust the little rodent even if you suggested it. I just...I just want you to be safe. Severus. There is always a place for vile little men like him. He's up to something. He keeps trying to...help me." She shook herself then, as if wanting to escape the subject. "I will see you later. With my notes," she said, smiling as she left the room.

“Alright, be careful Narcissa” he said as he watched her walk down the hall until she was out of sight and he walked back in the room and closed the door behind himself. “Right…better go get ready before he gets back here” he said to himself as he moved into him bathroom and locked the door behind himself to get ready and wait for James to return to the room from his practice.

James grunted, rolling his head on his shoulders and dragging his fingers through his soaked hair as the water from the showers rushed down over him, chasing the grime from his body. He leant against the wall a little while longer. He'd dismissed himself from practice earlier than the others. Seekers could only perfect chasing in various scenarios so many times. If they weren't ready for the game now, they never would be.

The changing rooms were empty, the sound of the water echoing. He swept a hand through his hair, wiping the last remnants of shampoo from his eyes before he washed his body, thoroughly and quickly. He towel-dried his hair and skin, snagging the clean pair of trousers he'd brought and tugging them on. As he reached for his shirt, however, movement caught his eye. Only his seeker reflexes allowed him to duck out of the way of the fist he saw coming.

Staggering back, he slammed into the stone wall and this time, could not avoid the fist to his gut. He groaned, hunching forwards instinctively. "What - fuck - what are you doing here?!" He gasped, and a fist slammed into his cheek. Blood spilled over his lip. He snarled, throwing his entire body forward, taking his attacker by surprise and sending them both hurtling to the floor. Seizing the boy's robes he shook him fiercely. "What the fuck are you doing Longbottom?!" He roared. But then he noticed. The boy, who had been a bright, lively and chirpy Gryffindor from the year below him, did not even flinch as he shook him. His eyes were glazed, not his own. This stunned him long enough to be thrown backwards. Frank Longbottom, possessed by something, someone, seized him by the throat with unnatural strength and pinned him to the floor.

When he spoke to James, his voice, just like his eyes, came from an otherworldly place. Not his own.

“You are in the way Potter, The Dark Lord will have what he seeks and there is nothing you can do to stop him” Frank said as he leaned closer to James. “She will be mine Potter, I can control anyone especially weak minded people like Longbottom. Make know mistake about my power” he said as his grip on James tightened and a grin seemed to appear on Frank’s lips as he freed one of him hands and pulled out his wand running it over James’ cheek where he had punched him them over his chest. “I could deal with you right hear and know and know one would ever no.”

James' eyes flared with rage and fear all at once. Adrenaline coursed through him and he screamed, throwing his body forward and slamming his head, hard into Frank's - no, Voldemort's head. The man recoiled, flying backwards. James scrabbled for his wand and pounced back on him, pressing his wand to the boy's throat. "You'll never take her. Dumbledore will crush you. I will crush you. I'll do whatever it takes to kill you!"

Voldemort’s voice laughed. “You think that old fool could stop someone like me? Even with all his protections on the school he couldn’t protect one of his students, what makes you think he could ever stop me. The greatest dark wizard of the century The Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort!” he said as he threw back his head and let out a dark laugh.

"But you've made one mistake right now, revealing yourself to me," James sneered. "You've showed me that you can do this. And now we know exactly what to protect against." His sneer turned into a triumphant smirk. "I didn't think you would make such mistakes." He pressed his wand into Frank Longbottom's throat, staring into Voldemort's eyes. "I'll be seeing you soon," he muttered, and then, "Stupefy!" With that, Longbottom's eyes slammed shut with unconciousness, his body limp. Voldemort was gone. Just to be sure, James bound his body with a quick spell, then staggered back, breathing heavily, wand in his shaking hand, blood splattered across his chest. He stared at Longbottom's body for a moment, before resting his head against the wall. So much for getting back to Severus early. He had to send a Patronus to Dumbledore to make sure Frank was alright after being possessed. And hopefully find out how Voldemort possessed him in the first place. It would help to defend against it in the future. He hoped.

****

It was a tired and shaky James that made his way back to Severus an hour or so later. He'd banished the blood from his body but his cheek was already bruising nicely and his stomach throbbed as he knocked on Severus' door.  
Severus moved over to the door and took deep breaths as he touched his hair making sure it was all still in place. “Who is it?” he called making sure that it was James before he opened the door, the last thing he wanted was for someone like Dumbledore or someone seeing him in what he was wearing right now. On hearing James’ voice from the other side of the door he smiled and opened the door wide letting James get a good view of his outfit, he had dressed himself in a very short nurses outfit with long hit stoking with red ribbon running around the top and red lace panties that were just about covered by the dress and his hair had been put up into two pony tails. He smiled at James with a deep blush before seeing his cheek. “Merlin Potter that happened to you face?! Did you get hit by a rogue bludger or something?” he asked reaching out a hand to touch it but retracting it just before he did.

James was stunned. For a moment, everything that had just happened was banished from his mind. He looked Severus up and down, his cheeks blazing. Hurriedly, he stepped inside and shut the door behind him, reaching for Severus' wrist to still him when he tried to move away. He drank him in. "You...what are...? Is this for me?" he breathed, the rest of the world forgotten. Heat curled in his belly.

“Yes it was…is. I told you I wanted to thank you” he said blushing and lowering his head so as to not look into James eyes, he had even used a glammer on his belly to make his image seem more appealing to James. “I even had what I was going to say to you all planned out. I was going to have you come in and say something like ‘Now Mr Potter all quidditch player need a physical exam and I will be your nurse for the day’ he said before looking up at James and gentle touched his bruised cheek. “But it looks like you could use a real nurse.”

James winced a little, but when Severus went to draw away, James lay his hand over Severus', pushing his palm flat to his cheek - gently. "It's just a bruise," James said softly, lost in this room, in their bubble. He glanced down to Severus' flat belly but when he touched it with his free hand, it still felt rounded. Very odd, but reassuring. Just a glamour. He smiled leaning his cheek into Severus' hand with his eyes dark and shining. "But perhaps I should take off all my clothes and get you to give me a once over, just to be sure. Maybe even a twice-over..."

Severus smiled and shook his head slightly. “You cant be that hurt if you still have your eye on the prize as it were” he smiled taking his hand and leading him over to the bed before letting go of his hand leaning over it to climb up on the bed and staying there half on half off the bed to give James a good view of his red lace under that even had ruffles. “Mister Potter what are you doing looking at me like that? Are you looking at my panties?” he asked with a smile seeing James staring at him.

James felt a distinct tightness in his trousers. His bruised face and belly forgotten, he dragged his shirt off his head and started to undo his trousers, staggering towards the bed at the same time. "I can't believe you just said 'panties'," he smirked wickedly. "I can't believe you're wearing them." He kicked his trousers, shoes and socks off at once, until he was standing only in his boxers and moved forwards, his thighs touching the edge of the bed. Severus frowned when he saw the bruising on his stomach, but when his fingers feathered across the purpled skin James just shook his head flippantly, tapping Severus' knees. "Open them wider. I want to see," he whispered huskily.

Severus looked up at James still worried about how he had got the bruises but pushed it to the back of his mind as he laid back on his and opened his legs more showing the red panties and bulge in them. “Does mister Potter like when I say panties then?” he asked raising one of his white stocking covered feet and brushed it up against James’ thigh and then against his crutch. “Who knew something like this would turn you on so much” he grinned as he popped a popper at the top of the costume and showing they ran all the way down so it was easy for James to just rip the thing open if he so wished. 

James didn't, however. He stood at the side of the bed, hands spanning down the exposed skin. He dragged a finger down, tugging another few poppers open to expose his creamy white chest. With those legs parted, the ridiculously short dress rode up high enough so that the panties were clearly visible. A hard shape pressed against the lacy fabric, straining to get to him. He smirked, reaching down to brush the pad of his thumb across the hardness through the red material.

"It's just so...naughty. I like it."

“Bet you didn’t expect this sort of surprise when you came back from your training today” he smiled biting his bottom lip as he allowed his foot to travel over James’ boxers and stop over the hard erection he could feel inside of them as he rubbed his foot over the straining fabric. “Maybe Mr Potter would like me to wear these panties more as they seem to turn you on so much.”

James chuckled breathlessly, hopelessly aroused. "You're a deviant little git today." He beamed, smoothing his hand over Severus' stomach, just to reassure himself that their daughter was still in there, safe, before sliding his hands down to rest on those thighs. "I like it when you take charge. Did you really miss me while I was gone?"

“In a way” he smiled as he undid a few more poppers on the dress. “I got you I had a special surprise for you and I wasn’t going to go back on it…that and baby keep getting me really excited in these last few days” he admitted as he blushed before reaching a hand down and stroking at the red lace panties. “So I really want you to make the most of this James.”

James' thumbs inched inwards, skimming the lining of his panties. He could feel the heat through the fabric and groaned. Reluctantly he stepped back to drag his boxers off, but then stood back between those spread thighs, waiting. "Well then, are you going to give me my exam? I might have internal injuries..."

Severus sat up on the bed with a grin before climbing off it and coming to stand in front of James there bodies just inches apart. “Well let’s see then” he smiled leaning forward and kissing him deeply as there tongues roamed around each others mouths. “Well I see know problems there, now lets see about this chest” he smiled bending over his underwear just visible under his dress. Moving closer to James he ran his hands up and down his toned chest being carful of the bruise there before licking at one of his nipple and then sucking on it. “Do you feel any pain Mr Potter?” he smiled as his fingers played with his other nipple.

"MMmm," James gasped, "No. Maybe you should pull it a little harder." He groaned when those lips complied, sucking hard. His hands flew up to knot in Severus' hair. "Fuck, you're so sexy. Love your voice. Talk to me. Touch me." His cock swelled, pressing eagerly into Severus' belly.

Severus hummer around the nipple in his mouth and pulled at it with his teeth before letting it go. “So you like hearing my voice do you? What a dirty boy you are, maybe I should be focusing more on this” he smiled stroking the underneath of James’ cock and feeling it bounce at his touch. “This seems very happy to see me and obviously need to be inspected to the fullest, what do you think?” he asked teasing the tip of his cock with his thumb. 

"Fuck, do it," James panted. He gripped Severus' hair more tightly, massaging his scalp and ducking his head so that he could watch that mouth hover inches from his swollen, red cock. It throbbed when that hot breath steamed over the weeping tip. "Mmmmm, do you do this for all your patients or am I just a special case?" His toes curled into the carpet in an effort to steady himself.

“Oh no Mr Potter. You are the seeker you get extra special treatment, like these private check ups” he smiled up at James as he rubbed his cheek against his hard member and felt the heat rise off of it. “You can put in a request though not to have the special treatment though if you wish” he said punctuating his words by running his tongue along the length of James cock and receiving a moan for the action and guess that he did like the his ‘special treatment’ and it wouldn’t be changing anytime soon. 

"Oh fuck," James breathed out, so quickly it was almost one word and closed his eyes, rocking his hips gently up into those devious lips. They were so hot and wet, worshipping him the way he usually did Severus. It was like the man was hungry for him in a way he hadn't been before. Not to this extent anyway. "Hmmm, suck me," he urged huskily, pulling back his hips so just the flared tip of his cock rested between those lips.

“As the patient wishes” he smiled licking his lips as he leaned forward towards the tip of James’ erection and licked at the tip hearing James gasp from the action and he felt his own erection jerk in there lace prison from the sound. Licking the tip one last Severus glanced up at James before taking his cock into his mouth and humming around the mouthful, he had never done this before and all things considered he didn’t think it was all bad and he could still smell the sweet scent of his soap coming off his heated skin.

"Mmmm, sit back on the bed, I want to watch you touch yourself," James panted, reaching down to grip the shaft of his aching prick, stroking it firmly as Severus' lips left it. James climbed onto the bed, leaning against the headboard and grasped himself again, watching as Severus spread himself out before him. James beamed. "Come on, legs wide. I want to see. Show me."

“I’m starting to think that you are the naughty one here Mr star quidditch player” he breathed even as he sped his legs his legs for James to see and ran his hand down one of his thighs till his fingers where touching the lace of his underwear and he started to stroke himself through the fabric and bit his bottom lip. “Hmm…is this what you want to see me doing?”

"Stroke yourself through your panties," James panted, ignoring the 'star quidditch player' comment. "I want to see your cock so hard it makes a damp patch on that pretty lacy material." He stroked himself harder as he spoke, resting his head back against the headboard. "Stroke your hole through the fabric with the fingers of your other hand."

“You’re so demanding” he grinned but moved back against the other headboard spreading his legs wide and stroking at the fabric of his underwear and moving his free hand further down and beginning to stroke the ring muscles under his panties and letting out an airy moan to the touch and rising his hips more feeling over excited by the touch and starting to feel a small wet patch forming on the fabric of the red panties. 

"Looks so good," James panted, still stroking his cock. He reached across into the side table for the jar of lube and scooped some out, slathering his cock with it before tossing the rest to Severus. "Use your fingers, stretch yourself for me - don't take the panties off. Just pull them to the side."

Severus raised a brow at the request but picked up the pot anyway and coated his fingers in the lube before pulling the fabric to the side and circling the twitching ring of muscles coating it in lube. “You like to see me finger myself?” he asked running his fingers over the sensitive skin before sliding a finger inside and moaning as he arched his back.

"Fuck yes," James said, smiling breathlessly. "Open yourself up for me." His eyes flared as he was another finger slid in. "Pull your cock out of your panties. Stroke it harder. I want you desperate for me."

“Who says I’m not all ready?” he asked sounding breathless as he lifted his panties loosening the strain on his erection as sprung free from its prison. “Like this?” he asked still keeping his panties on as he stroked his hard throbbing erection and slid his fingers in and out of tight ring of muscles and moaned panting wildly as he leaned against the headboard and raised his hips.

"Just like that, oh Merlin," James growled, crawling forwards on the bed. "Don't stop. Just like that, keep going," he urged, popping the dress open the rest of the way and dipping his head to capture a nipple between his lips. He sucked hard, knotting his fingers in Severus' hair again.

“Ahh, Oh James” he moaned turning his head to side as his pushed his chest out to him. “That feels really good…please…more” he panted stroking himself more and feeling his cock grow wet with the small amounts of pre-emission that escaped feeling himself being pushed over the edge.

"Like me playing with your little pink nipples?" he teased, capturing the other between his teeth lightly, rolling his tongue over the trapped flesh. He knew how sensitive they were right now. Each tug, each pass of his tongue made that hand move a little faster over that cock, those hips shift frantically.

“Oh Merlin…James please just take me…I cant stand it” he moaned his hips bucking and his arse twitch franticly as his fingers got sucked in with the thrusts, his body felt like it was on fire and his body felt so sensitive he thought he might break apart at any moment. “James please…kiss me…take me…I want you so badly.”

"Mmmm, not yet," James breathed, sliding shifting upwards to rest his lips against the curve of Severus' neck. He mouthed the hot, sweat-dampened flesh as he rocked his hips into Severus' leg, his cock pressing against his thigh while his own hand slid down to feel what Severus was doing to his twitching entrance.

James groaned deeply, biting his neck gently and sliding one of his fingers alongside Severus' inside his hot, tight hole. "I want to feel you all loose and ready for me down here first."

“Hmm, ahh!” Severus moaned surprised by James adding his own finger as his hips gave a buck to the action. “James…you’re so mean” he panted as he let out small sharp breathes moving his leg closer to James cock and rubbing against it as well as he felt it throb and he could feel himself going crazy as he felt James’ licking, kissing and biting at the exposed flesh of his neck.

"Oh, Sev, I want...want you, all of you, please," James breathed, sucking more hungrily, rolling his groin into Severus' leg in an even, constant movement now. He slid another finger inside with a wet, debauched sound so that there were four fingers inside now, massaging Severus' sweltering heat with uneven strokes. "Come on, more, open yourself right up so i can just slide right in."

“I…I don’t think I can get much wider unless you want me…to come from over excitement” he panted spreading his legs more and turning his head to James before he captured his lips in a deep kiss as he slid his tongue in his mouth letting out heated breaths and moans as there lips parted briefly for air. “Please…just take me now” he pleaded letting out hot breaths onto James’ lips.

"Do you think you deserve it?" James muttered, punctuating his words by nipping Severus' earlobe before drawing back. He pushed the opened dress completely off Severus' body but left the panties and the rest, pulling the underwear completely to one side so he could see. Severus' body bowed up in frustration at his departure, his fingers leaving his hole so James could see it twitching and slick with lubricant, hungry for him. Swollen and pink.

"You've been so naughty," James breathed, stroking his own cock as he pushed four fingers straight back into Severus' entrance.

“Ahhh! Yes…yes I’m your naughty boy…please, punish me” he moaned out arching his hips up to James as he stroked himself begging James to touching him and take advantage of him and stop his suffering as he moved his free hand to stroke and play with his nipples making him arch his back and hips more as he let out loud erotic moans.

"How can I resist when you're clenching around me down here like a hungry little mouth?" James panted, giving his fingers a final twist, right into Severus' prostate before he drew back. He slathered himself with more lubricant, hoisted Severus' thighs over his shoulders and leant in, sliding in with one move, right to the hilt. Slick and delicious and hot. "Oh fuck," he groaned through clenched teeth. "So sexy. You're so hot inside."

Severus moaned as he put his hands over James’ shoulders and scratched him a bit there surprised by the fast entry. “J-James…my legs hurt being this high” he panted looking into James eyes and seeing the lust and sexual desire there the same look that was evident in his own eyes. “I’m still pregnant don’t forget…I’m not this flexible right now” he breathed shirting his weight and also moving in rhythmic motions up against him.

James flushed, smiling breathlessly, shamefacedly. "Sorry," he panted, sweetening his apology by kissing those lips firmly, darting inside and tasting that tongue. He kept kissing him even as he rolled him over onto his belly, the angle was awkward, especially when he didn't break the connection between their bodies either, his erection still buried inside. He panted into that mouth, hastily dragging the duvet closer and bunching it up for support under Severus' stomach. There was just something about the sight of Severus with his arse in the air on all fours, panties pulled to one side and his arse clenching around his cock.

"So deep like this," James groaned. "You want me to go deep, Sev? How do you want it?" He slid back, so that only the head of his cock was inside. That fluttering, slick ring clenched around his leaking tip. When Severus only gasped in frustration, James reached under him and plucked his tender nipples. "Come on, tell me."

Severus moaned as he bit his bottom lip before letting a gasp escape his lips and he pushed his hips back against James just to have him move away obvious that he was still waiting for his answer of what he wanted James to do with him. “I…I want you deep inside of me…I want to feel you cock buried deep in my arse as you fuck me” he shuddered as he gripped at the bed sheets and swayed his hips slowly trying to entice James to move.

"Hmm, you are delicious," James whispered, sliding his hands back to spread those pale cheeks. He sank in, slow and deep, grinding his hips into Severus' arse just right to make him shudder at the pressure on his prostate. "Stroke your cock while I fuck you, just the way you like it," James breathed, knotting his fingers in the waistband of the panties, using it for leverage to pull Severus back into his leisurely thrusts.

Severus gave a small nod as he reached down and started to play with his cock as he moaned with James’ movements and trying not to push back against him wildly in his over excited state. “Oh James…more…please move more” he panted between moans as he felt James guiding him with the waistband of his panties, he didn’t realize how much James would like the things and the thought made him smile a bit.

"You're so hot and soft inside," James moaned, rocking his hips faster, deeply. He untangled one hand from the panties and reached down to seize a handful of that hair and tug, lifting Severus' head up from the bed so he could hear his cries unhindered. The awkward angle made Severus' groans come out ragged but the hand over his prick moved faster. He liked it. James smirked, rolling his hips in smooth circles, opening him up and drilling that slick, supple entrance that welcomed him so hungrily.

"Not too sore after last night?" he breathed. "Your greedy little hole just can't get enough of me, can it?"

“It’s…it’s her fault…she keeps making me really horny” he shuddered as he moaned and bucked his hips up to James with gasps of pleasure. “And I…I really like it…it feels so amazing I can’t stand it…you drive my body crazy James.” He panted turning his head to look at James as he stroked himself.

"Did you just blame our daughter for your deviancy?" James teased, laughing huskily, good-naturedly as he used his grip on Severus' hair to pull him back into his thrusts hard. He loved the feel of that soft, dark hair in his grasp, loved the way it made that throat arch tremble when Severus swallowed. His cock pulsed deep inside, pre-emission further moistening the way. "Maybe I should stop - take pity on your poor overused hole. Mmm?"

“No, Please don’t stop James” he said looking at him with pleading eyes as he moved his hips back to meet James with every thrust. “Please don’t stop…if you do I will never forgive you…and I won’t do this with you anymore or let you in my room” he panted gripping the bed sheets with his free hand.

"Mmmm, you're so hungry for me - like that," James groaned. At times like this, Severus really, truly wanted him. It made his heart pound. His stomach flipped and he released Severus' hair, leaning down over his body so that his chest was flush to Severus' back. The part of him he'd never let anyone but him, James touch. He wrapped his arms around him, burying his nose in the nape of that neck and undulated against him, feeling so close to him that he could barely breath.

"So close," he sobbed into that flesh, mouthing it messily, desperately. "Love being - so - close! More, please!"

“Ahh, yes take me…I want you to take all oh me as your own!” he called raising his free hand from the sheets and wrapping it around James’ neck and in him soft messy hair. “I want you to give me more until I cant stand it” arching him back to James to he closer he smiled as he turned his head and captured James’ lips in a deep kiss.

With a groan into that mouth, James swept the hot cavern with his tongue, stabbing his hips forward frantically. Sweat made their skin slide wetly together as they moved. He slid a hand down between them to caress that belly, ensure it wasn't being crushed by their hastening thrusts. The duvet below them was sticky with Severus' pre-come.

"You stroking that cock for me? Harder, come on, want to feel you come for me while I'm inside you."

“But I…always come…when your inside of me ahhh” Severus moaned out as he stroked himself harder feeling his cock ache for a release but was enjoying the attention from James so much that he didn’t want it to end so soon. “I…I want you to come inside of me James…I want to feel all of you inside me” he gritted him teeth bringing his head back to meet James’ shoulder as he tried not to come even with the pleasure flooding his senses.

"You're clenching so tight around me," James groaned, nipping his lips, his neck and rolling onto his side, dragging Severus with him so that he could spoon into his back and fuck him in urgent, messy strokes. He reached down, seizing the top leg and pulling it up high so he could move deeper. He hooked it around his elbow, further pulling Severus against him and sucked, kissed hungrily at his throat. 

"You're so quiet and proper but what you really want is to be fucked every single day, don't you? You need my cock every single day? You want more?" He could see Severus' hand moving over his own erection faster with his dirty, whispered words, see that flushed, pink tip moving in and out of that tight fist. "Hmmm, I can see that you do. You like your arse being pounded so much? Can you even go one day without it?"

“O-of course I can” he shuddered not believing his own words. “I…I don’t need it everyday…I just…oh Merlin I want more, I can’t make it my body feels so hot and I want you so much” he moaned pushing his hips up against James and stroking himself harder feeling his erection throbbing in his hand. “Ah Fuck. James please do me harder I feel like I’m going to exploded I want you so much!”

"Hmm nearly every day though," James breathed shakily, feeling his stomach tighten and heat rise. He pushed hard against Severus' back, barely withdrawing his cock now with his deep, fervent thrusts. "You just have to ask me. Wherever we are, whatever we're doing, just lean over and whisper 'take me' and I'll take care of you." He licked his ear swiftly, reaching down and grasping Severus' pulsing erection, stroking him vigorously. "I'll fuck you whenever you want, wherever you want. Would you like that? Just to demand that I fuck you? Whenever, wherever?" The cock in his grasp oozed deliciously. "Hmm, feels like your cock does."

“I…I would like that!” He admitted turning his head to James. “I want you to take me…I want you to fuck me when I ask it. I just want you inside of me so much AH!” Severus cried out as James gave his cock a squeeze and thrust into him more roughly making his body jerk to the contact. “And if you’re not around…I will just have to take care of myself” he said having turned his head and whispered it into James’ ear putting the image in James’ head of him touching himself and moaning out his pleasure. “Ah Fuck…I…I cant take it…I-I’m going to come!”

"MMm no, your come is all mine. I want you to tell me when you want it hard against the wall, when you want it nice and slow in front of the fire," James' words were ragged with desire and his approaching orgasm. His thrusting hand and hips were moving so hard and fast now that his muscles were cramping but he didn't care. He kept going. "Mm baby want me to fuck him hard. I'll drop whatever I'm doing and fuck you 'til you come. You want that? You going to come right now just thinking about it?"

“Then come inside…I can’t take it my body is screaming so badly for you!” He all but screamed as gripped at the bed sheets and moaned into the room. “Oh Merlin…James I’m going to come…I’m coming!” he calling as Severus reached his peak his body not able to hold out any longer under James’ thrusts and his speedy hand that was jerking him off before coming hard into James’ hand and the sheets as he let out an orgasmic cry into the room and felt his body tighten deliciously around James.

James groaned deeply as that slick channel clenched madly around him, squeezing him like a fist. He seized that mouth with his own, swallowing Severus' own shuddering cries and shoved forward. He stroked Severus' cock through his climax, rocking deep with those rolling hips and spilling himself inside. They moved together for a few moments more, draining each other dry until they were spent and panting together on the bed.  
With a shaking hand, James reached for his wand, disposing of the glamour around Severus and casting a quick cleansing charm before nuzzling into his neck again, breathing slowly. His hand slid down to caress that swollen belly "Mmmm, better," he mumbled exhaustedly.

“Must better” he smiled nuzzling at James’ cheek. “I take it you liked your surprise then from the way you where enjoying it. Especially these” he smiled sticking his thumb under the waistband of his panties and letting them snap back down against his hip before rolling over to be able to look at James’ better and trying not to laugh at his messed up sex hair and guessing that his was know better at this point.

“I think are little girl really enjoyed it if nothing else, she wiggling around really excitedly” he said taking James’ hand and playing it on his belly to feel her move around even seeing his stomach move a few times showing where she was going.

"That's really disturbing, please don't say that. I like to think she has no idea what we're doing," James laughed, resting his chin on Severus' shoulder and staring down at where their hands rested on that visibly moving stomach. "I love it when you have no inhibitions with me. I want you to tell me what you want all the time - even if it might not be what I want to hear."

Severus gave a nod as he looked at there hands before looking at James. “Um James…I was talking to Narcissa today” he said before pausing a moment to let that fact sink in before he spoke again. “We…we were talking about the babies and she sort of…well she gave me an idea” he said pausing again not sure if he wanted to say the next part or not, not sure how James would react to it. “I um…I was sort of thinking it would be nice to have her at your house. But if you would rather I was in the hospital surrounded by doctors I wont argue I just thought it might be nice if I was somewhere I felt comfortable…but I know something like that would be really risky for me” he said almost sound sad at the fact that he probably wouldn’t get to have the baby at James house.

James lifted his head to stare straight into Severus' eyes. "I...I'm not sure what I want, to be honest. I just want what's best for you and the baby. But if it really means that much to you - and I know it'll mean the world to my mum, then..." He smiled softly. "This is your baby too, you know. If you want something, it's not just my decision. Of course we can have it at Potter House. We'll spare no expense in making sure all the facilities are there." He couldn't help but notice Severus relax.

Severus smiled feeling over joyed that he wouldn’t be in some hospital room with people staring at him because he was pregnant. He liked the thought of being somewhere he knew and felt comfortable better. “Thank you James” he smiled nuzzling at his chest. “I would be really happy to have it at your home where there won’t be lots of strangers staring at me. All I want there is a few midwives nothing more your mom and dad if they want to be in the room and of course you” he smiled. “I wouldn’t want you to miss out on the birth of your daughter, the first and probably only Potter heir.”

"You know, you can be quite sweet when you feel comfortable, Sev," James said. He glanced down to where both their hands rested on Severus' now still stomach. "I know we didn't have the best start and Merlin knows that was nobody's fault but my own. I did some disgusting things to you and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I want you to be happy, yeah? I'll do whatever it takes." He closed his eyes and pressed his nose into Severus' neck. "I meant what I said. I do...well you know. I know you don't like to hear it but it's true. You don't need to be afraid of me. Promise."

“…I know I don’t James” he said lightly. “I know you care about me and accept every ugly part of me…like my back” he said nuzzling at James’ messy head of hair and breathing in the smell of his shampoo as he moved closer to James. “I want to share things with you I would never think of sharing with anyone else in the whole school…that’s how much I trust you.” 

"That..." James pulled him tight, struggling for words. There were no words to portray what he felt. He could only try. "That makes me happier than you know." They lay there like that for a moment, silent and warm and content. After a while, the chilling sweat on their bodies drove James to reach down and pull the duvet over them. "We need to give our baby girl a name, you know. We haven't even really talked about it."

“I know” he said stroking at his belly. “I guess we didn’t really have a reason to until now…Narcissa already has a name for her little boy. He’s going to be Draco Black, I said it was a beautiful name for him not having his father’s last name” he said with a smile looking at James and pulling the blanket up more. “I have a feeling he and are little girl will be very good friends growing up.”

James beamed. He was glad Severus had friends now besides Evans. Especially Narcissa Black, who he thought perhaps understood what Severus was going through better than most right now. "I don't really fancy a stupid flowery name for her, not if her surname is going to be 'Potter'. I'd like something...normal, normal but not common... Does that even make sense?" he mused.

Severus smiled and nodded. “Yes I agree and I understand that giving her a flowery name would be really silly” smiled as he seemed to be thinking of names, the thought of actually naming a person had never crossed his mind even now when he was pregnant. He was still even undecided about what he was going to do after the baby was born, was he still going to just give her to James or would he stay around because at this point he was sure he didn’t love James it was just the amazing sex that was driving him to him right now but he guessed he should have thought about names for there daughter.

“What about…Enya or maybe…um…I’m not very good at this baby naming business” he said looking away from James feeling stupid for only being able to think of a single name even though he was in a giant school where names where always getting yelled in ever direction. 

James wrinkled his nose and lay in thoughtful silence for a moment. It was difficult. He wondered if Narcissa Black had found difficulty in naming her baby boy. Girls names were hard. He wanted her to have her own name, one no one else they knew had. Yet he didn't want it to be something extravagant or completely radical. "What about Hailey?" he suggested after some thought.

“Hailey? Hmm, Hailey Potter. I guess it doesn’t sound that out of place” he said thinking the name over in his head and thinking that it wasn’t such a bad name for her to have. After a few moments he gave James a nod to the name showing that he approved of the choice if that was what James wanted to name her.

James propped himself up on an elbow. "Really? Are you sure? I mean...you really like it?" He couldn't fathom why it was so important to him that Severus approve of his choice. "This isn't just you not wanting to tell me you'd rather something else?" He glanced down caressing his stomach again. "Hailey Potter, it sounds quite cute. Not even really sure where I pulled that from..."

“Maybe its name you have heard around school and just don’t realize” he said rolling onto his back feeling more comfortable that way. “And anyway we still have a few months before she shows herself to us, so even if you don’t like your first choice suddenly for some reason you can always change it. Nothing is ever set in stone with children” he said stroking his belly and letting his fingers brush over James’.

"I do like it," James confided, oddly embarrassed at the admission. He curled his fingers up into Severus', weaving them together. "Just wanted to make sure you did but...yeah, we can always change it. I'll write to mum later and tell her to make the arrangements for you to have the baby at home. We're lucky she's due after the exams, although I suppose she could always come early..."

“I would rather she didn’t come early, the last thing I want is to be having the baby in the middle of an exam” he said with a light laugh. “I hope she comes on time and gives us time to get everything ready, you still need to make up a room for her. You got her lots of toys but she has know where to sleep cause you didn’t pick out a crib in the baby store.” He smiled stroking James’ hand with his thumb.

James quirked a smile. "There's a room next to mine, diagonally opposite the room you stayed in, mum's sort of...she's been doing it up as a nursery since we left after Christmas. She and Dad are making it up for us as a sort of...baby shower gift thing. They've commandeered all the toys and things we bought to go in it. Otherwise I have no idea what it looks like." He glanced at Severus from under his lashes shyly. "I...I hoped we could go home to visit over the Easter holidays together to see it."

Severus looked at him a moment before giving him a smile. “I would like that, I really like you mom…oh and they didn’t get every toy for her room” he said giving a light blush a he rolled towards his bed side table not letting go of James’ hand as he picked up the soft toy and rolling back. “See. I still have the first thing you every bought me, my little bunny even though I know it’s really for her” he smiled putting the toy on his belly.

"You know, you're really cute sometimes, Sev," James chuckled, leaning down to capture those lips in a soft, fleeting kiss. He studied his face as he drew back, still smiling. "We'll keep bunny here, then Hailey can have it the moment she's born. I think that'd be nice." He flopped down on the bed, partially sprawled over him and sighed, happier than he thought he'd ever been.

***

James growled with frustration, slamming the door of Severus' bedroom behind him as he entered. Severus was waiting for him, of course, sitting at the table reading, already packed. James hadn't realised the meeting, the 'practice' session with the Headmaster was going to go on for so long. His nerves were fried, his head pounding from being exposed to that much raw magic. But what fed his foul mood was that all of this practice brought him back to the fact that he had to inadvertently kill the Headmaster. It all brought back things he'd done, things he'd rather he forgot...

"Sorry," he murmured when he saw how alarmed Severus looked, sitting down opposite him and laying his forehead down on his folded arms. "Just... I wish this was over, all this Voldemort shit. I just want him gone. He sent some bastard after Narcissa Black this morning when she went into Hogsmeade - luckily Sirius, Moony and Lily were with her. Aurors took the 'Death Eater' away but I..." He slammed his head against his arms. "I can't stand this waiting. I can't stand the thought that you might be next."

Severus looked over at James feeling bad that there was nothing he could really do to help him. Reaching a hand out he stroked at James’ mess of hair before lifting his head to stroke at his cheek. “I know that this is hard for you James, but the headmaster must have a reason for making you wait…I wont be leaving the castle anytime soon except to go to your parents house, I promise I will stay nice and safe here” he smiled leaning forward and kissing his lips lightly. “Why don’t you get the house elves to bring you something sweet and go and relax on the couch for a while, you must be feeling really drained. I will even join you if you like, I could really go for some chocolate bake and a break from reading” he smiled still stroking James’ cheek with his thumb.

James lifted his head and closed his eyes, concentrating on the calming, warm touch of Severus' hand. He lifted his own hand to grip it briefly, breathing out slowly. "No," he said at last, feeling calmer. "Let's get to mum and dad's, I've kept you waiting long enough already." He glanced to the clock on the far wall. "Mum said we'd better not be any later than two. It's two-fifteen now." He got to his feet and sighed again, breathing out the bad emotions as best he could and burying the rest. It was easier when Severus gave him that curious, uncertainly excited smile.

"She's got a surprise planned," James mused, offering the pot of floo powder to him first. Dumbledore had, at the very least, connected their room to the floo for the afternoon to save Severus the trek up to his office with his now seven-month bump. "I've been sworn to secrecy," he added when Severus stared at him impatiently.

“I don’t know if I should be worried o not now when you say that” he said standing in front of James and grabbing a hand full of floo powder. “But I guess if it’s something your mom has planned it cant be that scary, but I cant believe you kept something from me James Potter and here I thought you told me everything” he said giving him a smiled as he neared the fire place and he couldn’t help but wonder what might be waiting for him on the other side once he called out for the Potter home. “…it’s nothing that’s going to make me panic and hurt my arm is it?” he asked glancing at James.

James cocked his head and laughed. "She's been planning this for months. She and Dad are so excited. Go on," he urged him. When Severus disappeared through the floo, James waited a few seconds before following. He stumbled into his parents' lounge to see his mother wrapping Severus in a tight embrace and taking a step back to admire his belly. His father, ever the gentleman, remained out of Severus' personal space, but patted him on the shoulder affectionately.

“It’s very nice to see you both again, I hope you are both doing well” he said giving the pair a smile. “And I hope you got your granddaughters first picture. I know that when I sent it to you the was a big snow storm so I’m not sure it ever reached you…and I got know letter back to it” he said looking at the pair and then around the room, nothing seemed different as far as he could tell everything looked just the same as before on his last visit at Christmas.

"The picture was lovely, Severus," Mrs Potter said. "We did send you a letter in reply - how peculiar..." She frowned for a moment, before her face cleared. "These school owls can be wayward. Our granddaughter looked very strong and healthy." She gestured behind them, toward the mantle-piece James was just stepping away from. There, a neat little square photograph of the baby sat in a shining frame forged with curling, delicate silver filigree, 

"Lovely thought, Severus," Mr Potter said gently, "it was very kind of you. Sorry the owl didn't reach you. I hope you don't think us rude."

Severus shook his head. “No not at all, I just believed you were busy and hadn’t had the time to write back yet…and we’ve been rather busy to so it’s alright and who knows maybe the school owl took it back the owlery and decided not to give it to me” he said with a small laugh. But he did wonder what could have happened to the letter but he put it down to just over worrying there was know reason for anyone to steal him letters.

James glanced to the left to see that the huge double oak doors that usually lead out into the large sunroom were shut - a feat Severus didn't realise was highly unusual. James smirked, in the know and approached Severus, looping an arm around his waist. "Come on, there's a surprise in the sun room," he said. It was hard to remember a time when these casual touches had been rare and fleeting. Now Severus did not start at the touch but relaxed into them. James brushed the side of his belly with his hand and was rewarded by a sharp kick from within. Both of them jumped.

"Oh, is she moving about lots? That's a good sign," Mrs Potter said, eyes bright.

“Oh yes she moves around a lot alright” he said letting out a breath. “I just wish she wouldn’t kick so hard she makes my back ache enough as it is with just carrying her” he said rubbing his sore back, he was pretty sure he hated this part about being pregnant the most other than finding a comfortable position to sleep in and always feeling really hot. “…did you want to have a feel” he asked slowly as he looked at Mrs Potter seeing her eyes beaming just at the thought of the baby moving.

Abigail Potter started, surprised but her fingers clenched in an attempt to hide her eagerness. She glance from Severus' face down to his belly where James' hand was still resting. "You...you are sure?" she asked, clearly remembering the fear in Severus' eyes when she had come to his aid with the boggart that night. But when Severus just nodded his permission, she stepped forward, her husband close behind her and laid the flat of her delicate, frail palm on his belly. 

For a moment, nothing happened. James smirked and prodded sharply with his knuckle. Severus gasped but it had the desired effect. Their daughter squirmed within, right into Mrs Potter's hand. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears of joy. "Goodness," she breathed, "so beautiful. I cannot wait to hold her. Alan, she's so strong."

“Just like are little James was” he smiled at Abigail seeing the smile on her face and how happy she was. “I bet she will be a real little fighter as well” he chuckled.

“I already think she takes after James, she probably love being up on a broom as well. But that’s okay because James will just love that, chasing after a broom crazy daughter” he smiled moving his hand to pinch at James’ to make him stop pushing his knuckles into his side even if it was only lightly to make the baby move.

"She'll be perfect, I just know it," Abigail said, caressing the baby back softly a final time before retrieving her hand. "Thank you, Severus. For this gift. Come, please," she gestured for him to follow her and her husband in the direction of the sunroom. "I hope this shows how much we appreciate you - both you and the baby." 

Alan pulled the great oak doors open and they stepped into the sun-swamped room. The light beamed in through the glass walls and roof but yet was not too hot. Just pleasantly warm. The beams, the windows, the furniture and the door frames were decorated with endless garlands of pink and white flowers. They made the room smell beautiful and hanging along the length of each strip, hung little pink and white flags that spelled 'Congratulations! It's a girl!"

Hundreds of lights, light fireflies danced above them and on the coffee table that was the centre piece of a large seating area, sat an impossible large stack of presents. All of them were wrapped in various pink patterns with bows and ribbons. This was all they had time to take in before Lily, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Narcissa all jumped out from behind the sofa yelling "Surprise!"

Severus gave a small jump feeling startled by people suddenly jumping out from know where especially with the thread of death eaters recently but he quickly took a breath and tried to keep his cool. “Is this my surprise you told me about? Its wonderful” he said with a big smile as he looked around the room. “And Narcissa I’m so glad you could make it as well. I hope baby Draco isn’t causing you to many problems” he said giving her a smile before his eyes caught the sight of Peter floating around the room and it made him feel uneasy that he was there, he still couldn’t put his finger on why he didn’t trust the boy but he certainly didn’t want him anywhere near him or his belly.

Narcissa seemed to notice his unease and the source of it and stepped forward, effectively putting herself between Severus and Pettigrew. She clasped his hands tightly in hers. "Mrs Potter has made us all very comfortable. She organised us and our present-buying very well to ensure you had everything." She kissed Severus on the cheek then stepped back, allowing the others to greet him. Sirius and Pettigrew nodded awkwardly, the smaller of the two not meeting his eyes. Remus patted him on the back in a manly display of affect while Lily threw her arms around his neck and patted the bump.

"I'm so glad you love it! We all hoped you would!" She tugged him from James' grasp and lead him toward one of the settees with Mrs Potter on his other side. "Come on, come open the presents! There's cake too!"

“Cake?” he asked as his yes grew big, in the last few weeks be had become strangle addicted to cake. I the past he would have never really eaten it but now he was pregnant it was all he ever seemed to think about especially chocolate cake. “Can I have cake while I open my presents?”

“Yes that’s fine dear, James why don’t you go get him a slice it’s on the table” Mrs Potter said giving her son a smile.

"I'll get myself too bits, as well," James mused, good-naturedly, "Since you can be sure he'll eat my piece before I so much as smell it." By the time he had returned with three slices on one place, Severus was seated between Lily and his mother on the sofa, his father and Remus beside their respective partners and Sirius, Narcissa and Peter on the chairs around them. There was a large partially unwrapped gift on Severus' lap that James noticed had 'self-disposing nappy bin' on the bit of the box he could see. His nose wrinkled. That part of raising the baby he was not looking forward to. 

"Here you go, cake fiend," he laughed, sitting down cross-legged in front of Severus, handing him the next present.

The pile of gifts were unwrapped in short time. James was sure they had everything they could ever require for at least the first year of their daughter's life - even some things he never knew existed!

He frowned, plucking the last gift from Severus' hands and staring at it. "What is this?" he asked, confused.

Narcissa laughed while his parents (the donators of the gift) flushed awkwardly.

"It's a milk expressor. Muggles call them breast pumps but obviously since in the wizarding world both men and women can do it, if they concieve, we use a much more gender appropriate name," Narcissa mused. She took the object and flicked something on the side so that (what James thought was the section meant to cup a woman's breast) adjusted so that the cup was less pronounced, practically flat. To suit a man's chest, he realised, flushing brilliantly and choking on his own spittle as he looked from the thing to Severus.

Severus flushed bright red as well as he looked at the device. “I don’t know if I like the idea of that on my chest…hey wait I’m going to be lactating?!” he asked turning even redder if it was possible, the thought of having breast milk had never even crossed his mind and now there it was right out in the open with everyone listening and he suddenly became very conscious of his nipples and what they were doing under his shirt.

“Sev are you alright?” Lily asked as she looked at him seeing the panicked and embarrassed look on his face.

Narcissa cleared her throat awkwardly, blushing in advance of what she was about to say but knowing the only way to make Severus feel less embarrassed was to embarrass herself. "Oh, it's already begun with me. I suppose everyone is different. I already have to wear pads to stop leaking through my school blouse. It's humiliating! Worth it in the end though, so I am told," she said gently, patting her own stomach with a smile at Severus.

"I must admit," Abigail began, "you never feel as close to your baby as you do with breastfeeding-"

"Urgh, Mum!" James winced, "please, can we not talk about me being breastfed? It's just...weird."

Severus giggled at James’ embarrassment. “Maybe we can talk about this more later Narcissa” he whispered giving her a smile. “Hey would it be okay to have a sleep over?” he asked Mr and Mrs Potter not wanting to invite people into there house without permission, he didn’t want Peter to stay but he didn’t know how to say that without seeming rude.

“Would there be enough space for all of us?” Lily asked even though of what she had seen of the house would probably be a yes.

“I think it would be best if just come back tomorrow to talk, I’m sure you would rather have a night to settle in and try and sleep with her in the way” Narcissa said with a light laugh knowing how hard it was to find a good position to sleep in.

"You're welcome to stay, all of you, if you like," Mr Potter said brightly, "It's nice to have some life in the house. It’s so quiet when James is at school."

James flushed and cleared his throat, calling the elf to have the presents put up in the nursery his parents had been preparing - the nursery he and Severus had yet to see. 

"It's up to you, Sev, what do you want to do? We have all Easter break, we can do whatever you want?"

“I think I would like them to stay the night. Then maybe we can spend a day in the garden tomorrow or something” he said with a smile. “Then you can hang out with your friends and I can have…girl time…with Lily and Narcissa and you will all still be able to see us in the garden and I still have on all my bracelets so if something were to happen you would know” he said waving his wrist around to show the bracelets. The one he made for him and James, the ‘baby’ one from Remus and Lily and the one from Dumbledore. 

James nodded. "Sounds good to me. Whatever you want."

***

Late morning of the next day found Severus, Lily and Narcissa sprawled out in the perpetual spring time of the back garden. They were lounging on the dry grass, Mrs Potter's chickens and rabbits lazing around them. The sun was warm as it beamed down, James and the others having vanished into the fields beyond the woods for a quick lap of the property on their brooms. 

"So I couldn't sleep again last night," Narcissa began tentatively, "so I went downstairs to the library to try and find a book to read. I did not want to disturb the elf - it was an ungodly hour. But on the way back up, I bumped into that little rodent Pettigrew. He was rather...invasive. He didn't say anything, just watched me. He started heading towards me but then Sirius must've woken up because he poked his head out of the door to see me there."

Lily and Severus regarded her worriedly.

"Oh, of course Pettigrew just shrugged it off, said it was a convenience that we bumped into each other on his way to the toilet but..." Her voice trailed off.  
“I know what you mean it always seems like he’s up to something. Last night I could have sworn someone was in mine and James’ room, I sat up and looked around but couldn’t see anyone I thought it was probably just my hormones making me paranoid” Severus said wondering now if someone had been in there room. “Of all the people I wish would leave it’s him. There is just something off about him.”

“Maybe it is just a coincidents that he happened to be there, I mean I know he’s a pretty creepy guy and I wouldn’t want to be left alone with him but I doubt if he was going to try anything that he would do it in the potter’s house where there are lots of people at the moment” Lily said looking at the pair. “I mean Sirius’ animagus is a dog right? He and Remus would hear if anything happened even a change in breathing. Maybe that’s why he came out of his room to find you Narcissa.”

Narcissa nodded thoughtfully, watching Severus carefully. "Perhaps. Sirius says that Pettigrew hasn't been around much lately. Though he and Potter seem to be under the impression it's because he feels awkward, being the only one not part of a couple." She winced. "I think there's something more sinister at work."

Severus nodded. “He doesn’t seem like the type to care if he is dating someone” he said leaning back in his chair and rubbing his belly. “I wish he would go home, he’s making me feel on edge being here and seeming to watch us all the time. If he ever stopped me somewhere and cornered me I think I would scream till his ear drums burst. I don’t even want to think about if he was to hand any of us food” he said with a shudder.

"We shouldn't leap to conclusions," Lily said, though her tone suggested she was struggling not to do just that herself. "He might just be lonely with his best friends so involved in other people. We shouldn't alienate him."

“Lily look at him, he’s creepy and he is always sneaking around” Severus said looking at her and not believing that he was trying to defend him. “You are telling me that you wouldn’t mind being left alone in a room with him? I don’t know Lily I don’t think we should trust him.”

Lily sighed. "I'm not saying that. Giving someone trust and giving them the benefit of the doubt are two different things," she glanced toward the beautiful woodland at the back of the Potter garden and got to her feet. "Shall we go for our walk now? We can be back in time for lunch then." She offered a hand out to each of the pregnant people at her feet. She then smiled wickedly at Severus. "Mrs Potter has made Angel Cake for her granddaughter."

“Cake?” he asked with a big smile hoisting himself up with Lily’s help. “You know I think she is trying to make her granddaughter big and chubby…I don’t think I’m going to appreciate that when she’s coming out of me” he said with a grimace not liking the thought of pushing anything bigger than a sausage coming out of his system (in his mind anything James put in him didn’t count). “I think a walk sounds good, it would be nice to work off some of the fat before I will be eating it again” he giggled.

“I could really use a walk, he’s been moving around a bit today. I think he is getting bored so I think a walk will settle him” Narcissa smiled getting to her feet and stroking her and stroking her big belly.

Lily rolled her eyes, "you could use some more fat, Severus Snape," she scolded, "let's hope she leaves some behind for you when she comes out." They walked side by side into the trees, the sun beaming down on them. Lily glanced at her friends, their movement slowed slightly because of their conditions and she smiled. "I can't wait to meet them both," she said, meaning the babies, "they will both be so loved."

“Well you we get to spend lots of time with her, you are her godmother after all Lily” he smiled stroking his belly think of Lily play with his little girl and going out with her and having little princess days or whatever it was that girl did. “And of course you will get to play with little Draco too when they have there little play dates, right Narcissa?” he asked smiling at her as she gave a nod.

“Oh yes, little Draco her we need someone to play with growing up so he grows into a proper young gentleman and knows how to treat a lady” she smiled stroking her belly still feeling how unsettled Draco was being.

"Of course," she said, sincere but distracted. Lily Evans had been good to her. She'd never had friends before, not really. Not like this. Not unconditionally. "I'd like it very much if you both visited often once school is over. I-" Her words cut short. She reached out, steadying herself by resting her hand on a nearby tree. She frowned at the odd feeling in her belly. Something gave and when she glanced down a dark spot was forming in her dress.

"Shit," she cursed, the swearing very unlike her. She felt odd, not in pain yet but definitely shaky on her legs. Slowly, she eased herself down to the ground. "I've felt odd all morning but I honestly didn't think that he..."

Severus turned to look at Narcissa and quickly moved to her side (or as quick as he could) “Narcissa are you alright? What happened?” he asked looking at her before noticing her dress.

“Oh my god! Narcissa have you gone into labour? Why didn’t you say anything?” Lily asked as she knelt down next her and rubbed her back. “If you were feeling odd you should have said and I wouldn’t have suggested us going for a walk in the forest away from the house” she said worriedly. “Do you think you can stand and make it back to the house?”

Narcissa winced. It didn't hurt as such, not yet. It was more an ache but it made her unsteady on her legs. She leaned heavily against the tree and tried to heave herself up. "I can try," she said, using Lily's shoulder as a crutch for her unsteady legs. "Send a patronus to the others Lily, you magic is the most stable. They can come find us and help us get back." 

They daren't use any magic to move her, after all. Using any magic, even harmless spells on pregnant people could be dangerous - there was never any telling how the babies might react.

Lily nodded, helping Narcissa to lean further into her, she used her free hand to send out her patronus with their location and call for help. They walked a little way more, Lily helping Narcissa and Severus walking at her other side - just in case. Her labour was progressing quickly though and eventually, she lowered herself to a crouch, shaking her head, breathless.

"I cannot - he is coming now!" Narcissa gasped out, on her hands and knees in the dewy grass, sweat beading across her forehead. 

Lily looked panicked. "Why are they taking so long to reach us?!" she exclaimed. "Severus, you stay with her, I'm going to find someone!"

“Please hurry Lily!” he called after her as she started to run out of sight and he knelt down at Narcissa’s side and rubbed her back hoping that it might help her feel a little better an ease any pain she might be feeling. “Don’t worry Narcissa Lily will be back soon and Sirius will help get you back to the house you just have to hang in there a little longer” he said moving to tie up her hair and keep it off her neck and face to help try and keep her cooler.

A rustle from the nearby bushes made James look up quickly thinking that Lily had returned with help and soon they would have Narcissa back at the house where she would be safe to have her baby. But who appeared for the bushes was the last person in the world they want to turn up in that moment, Peter Pettigrew.

"I was heading back to the house on my own, feeling a bit under the weather," he said in a strange, quiet little voice, his expression quite uncertain. "But on my way, I intercepted a patronus. Quite a startled one. Seems as if you've gone into labour, Narcissa?" As he spoke, he approached them both.

Narcissa glanced up through a wince. Strange tight cramps were already pulsing through her insides. She grit her teeth to hold in the groan of pain. She saw his wand held discreetly in his hand. "Get back," she hissed through her clenched teeth, "Lily will be back with help at any moment. Don't risk yourself getting caught now, Pettigrew, not when you've kept your best friends so oblivious all this time." She glowered at him even through the growing agony. Was it really supposed to be happening this fast? "They may be fooled but we're not. Be gone and we'll say nothing to them of your treachery."

Severus moved himself in front of Narcissa stopping Pettigrew for getting any closer to her and pulling out his own wand, he knew his magic wasn’t stable at the moment but having it in hand gave him some sort of protection at least. “Get out of here Pettigrew before I blow your head off” he said even with his want hand shaking slightly. He wasn’t scared of Pettigrew but he was scared for what he could do to Narcissa and her baby and also he guessed he was a little scared of what would happen to himself and his baby (although he wouldn’t admit it) if help didn’t come to them soon. Would Voldemort somehow get though the barrier and take him and Narcissa while they were unprotected.

He soon found his free hand raising and touching his pegasi hair bracelet and squeezing it tightly causing the beads to turn bright green and he hopped that James would see his own glowing red and seeing how much he needed him in that moment.

Pettigrew, obviously knowing what the bracelet did, surged forward, brandishing his wand and sending Severus sprawling across the clearing across the grass - effectively separating him from Narcissa. "We'll be long gone before James and the others find us," he said, still shaky-voiced. "They don't understand, there's just no facing Him. He grows stronger everyday. We have to get in before it's too late." He looked between his two fallen school-mates, as if deciding who was the more valuable prize. He rounded on Severus. 

"You, Lord Voldemort wants you both but he is most particular about you."

Severus struggled up into a sitting position and quickly shuffled back trying to get as far from Pettigrew as he could as he approached him with his hand outstretched. “No stay away from me!” he yelled as his back hit on of the trees in his struggle to get away from Pettigrew knowing now that he wanted to take him to the dark load where anything could end up happening to him and his unborn daughter.

“I swear if you touch me I will scream and curse you so hard you wont be able to shit for a month” he said trying to sound imposing but it was all in vain as Pettigrew could see him trembling against the bark of the tree.

"Get away from him!" Narcissa screamed, trying to approach, trying to reach for her wand but Pettigrew disarmed her and she screamed again, doubling over, feet digging into the ground. "Have you no shame? I'm in labour! Do something!"

Pettigrew winced and turned away from her, looking solely at Severus. "Come on, Snape, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way you and your baby just might survive this." He reached down to grab his arm.

"Get away from him!" Narcissa screamed, trying to approach, trying to reach for her wand but Pettigrew disarmed her and she screamed again, doubling over, feet digging into the ground. "Have you no shame? I'm in labour! Do something!"

Pettigrew winced and turned away from her, looking solely at Severus. "Come on, Snape, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way you and your baby just might survive this." He reached down to grab his arm.

“No stay away from me!” he yelled as Pettigrew grabbed his arm and pulled him. “JAMES!” he yelled hoping that he might actually hear him and see him appear at any moment and stop what was happening as he struggled against Pettigrew’s grip on his wrist and feeling scared and also very worried for Narcissa as he heard her cry out from her place on the floor.

"You shouldn't have crossed him, Snape," Pettigrew said, his voice breaking a little. He cleared his throat as he swatted Severus' wand clean from his hand. "The Dark Lord is not forgiving." He swallowed. "He will never forgive me if I back down now." He dragged Severus up to his feet, raising his own wand, ready to apparate, but as he did so, a large shape bolted from the bushes toward them. There was a flash of great, wide wings, a crunch of hooves colliding with bone and Pettigrew crumpled, knocked back away from Severus by the pegasus that now stood between them.

“It’s you” he said looking up at the great white pegasus, it was the mare he had met the first time he came to the Potter house and in this moment he had never been more happy to see her. “You came to help us didn’t you? Thank you girl” he said gently stroking her neck in thanks he owned her big time for turning up when she did.

“We have to protect Narcissa” he said pointing to her and the mare observed her a second before quickly moving over to her with Severus at her side and moving one of her great white wings to hide Narcissa from Pettigrew’s view.

Narcissa looked up at the mare uncertainly, but was grateful nonetheless. With a hand still cradling her belly, she shifted onto her knees and laid her other hand on the mare's shoulder, using her as a support to push herself upward. She swayed and groaned, but eventually managed to stay upright. She closed her eyes, panting as Pettigrew scrambled to his feet, eyes wide.

"He will kill us all!" Pettigrew shrieked, panicked. "You haven't seen a fraction of the power he wields!"

“He will never have us!” Severus yelled back at him. “And you can tell that to your master, now get out of here!”

Severus looked at Pettigrew as the mare turned her head and snorted at him as grapping her hoof in a menacing way only staying in place because she was keeping Narcissa standing. “Narcissa are you alright? You have to keep taking deep breaths we will get back to the house in just a second.”

Narcissa nodded slowly, closing her eyes, breathing deeply through her nose. Her lips parted in speech but whatever she was about to say never reached her mouth.

Suddenly ropes burst up from the ground, wrapping tightly around the mare's legs and neck, holding her fast in place as Pettigrew approached them, wand drawn. He was shaking. His face was white and his eyes were wide but it did not stop him from turning his wand on them. "You don't understand. I've taken too long already, I can't go back empty handed." He reached for them, seizing Snape's arm roughly but as he touched his wrist, accidentally touching the bracelet that acted as a security link to the others, it glowed red and burned.

Pettigrew screamed, wrenching his hand back and glancing around wildly, just in time to See James, Sirius and Remus bolting into the clearing. James stopped, alongside the others, panting for breath, staring wide-eyed between the others and the mare who was wriggling frantically against her bonds. Then he saw Peter's blistered hand. No one except he and Dumbledore had known about that little security measure that was built in. He could only guess what had happened.

"I felt you call me through the bracelet," James said, "what's going on?"

“It’s Pettigrew he’s trying to take me to HIM” Severus said looking to James and quickly scrambling away from Pettigrew again and to Narcissa’s side. “And Narcissa’s gone into labour we have to get her back to the house” he said as he managed to focus his magic just enough to break the spell holding the mare in place as the ropes dropped off her but the spell left Severus drained and he fell to his knees on the floor.

Peter saw this as a good opportunity and lunged forward grabbing Severus by his upper arm and receiving a yell as his gripped tightened around Severus’ arm. He couldn’t leave now, if he returned to the dark lord without Severus in toe he dared not think out what the consequences’ would be but he knew there would be no forgiveness, he had to take Severus with him now and he raised his wand ready to apparate. 

“No James!” Severus called reaching his hand out to him even though he was not within reaching distance.

The mare reared up, one of her front hooves crashing into Pettigrew's arm with a sickening crack. He released Severus on impact and screamed, scrambling back as James leapt forward, gripping Severus' shoulders with both hands. "Are you alright?" he asked, scanning Severus' face, touching it carefully as he searched those eyes, touching his stomach. "Both of you?"

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sirius and Lily moving to Narcissa's aid, each supporting her from either side. Before James heard Severus' answer, his head whipped to the side, to where the mare was bolting towards Pettigrew, wings splayed in a display of challenge. The last thing they saw was their childhood friend, clutching his mangled arm, eyes wide with horror, before he vanished, apparated away with a crack.

Severus shook in James’ hold as he gripped at him sheet. “Oh James, I was so scared” he she shuddered looking up at before throwing his arms around his neck. “I thought he was going to take us away…I was scared what he might have done to the baby…if she hadn’t shown up…I would hate to think were we would be right now” he said turning to looking at the mare as she pawed at the ground and reared up seemed disappointed that Peter had got away

James nodded, feeling quite sick at the prospect of being betrayed by one of his best friends and also the possibility of losing Severus and the baby too. He squeezed Severus' arm reassuringly, before stroking his stomach. "Wormtail, why would he do this?" he asked, mostly to himself. But then Narcissa gave a groan of pain through clenched teeth at the same time as the mare butted her nose into the small of his back. 

Turning, he stroked her neck gratefully. "Thanks for saving them," he said, knowing she understood. He then glanced to Narcissa. "Would you mind carrying her back to the house for us? She really needs your help. She'll be having her own foal soon." He still had one hand on Severus' arm, not wanting to let him out of his sight. He felt nauseous, shaky...

The mare gave a small winy as she straightened and walked over to Narcissa and sniffed her hair before kneeling down onto her front legs making it easier for Narcissa to climb onto her back. “Don’t worry Narcissa, she will take good care of you” Severus said reassuring her.

“And I will be right at your side I wont go anywhere” Sirius said giving her hand a reassuring squeeze as he helped her onto the mares back and she stood again and gave her wings a flap.

“We have to get back to the house as well James…I don’t want to be out here anymore…it doesn’t feel safe right now” Severus said as he looked around at the trees fearing that Peter might be hiding behind anyone of them and planning to try and grab him again.

"We're not alone," James said and inclined his head to the bushes where a few more pegasus were just visible from behind the cover of trees. "I don't think they'd let anyone hurt you," he said softly, but slid his hand down to grip Severus' fingers tightly nonetheless.

The mare took off with Narcissa and Sirius on her back, leaving James, Severus, Lily and Remus to walk back. Severus of course, and James who refused to let go of his hand, were slower and fell behind on the journey back. "One of my bloody best friends," James said at last, when the silence had nearly choked him of breath. "I can't believe he...why would he do this to us? To me? We've been friends for years...!"

“Anyone can turn to the dark side…even a Gryffindor” Severus quietly spoke as he gripped James’ hand. “…and I think he’s been watching me for a while…I always felt like someone was following me, watching me…and last time when we were in your room I felt the same feeling like we were being watching, but when I sat up I couldn’t see anyone…so I just thought it was my hormones making me paranoid” he said lowering his head a bit knowing that he should have told James all this before now. “I…I’m sorry about your friend, I know this must be a real shock to you.”

"I just...he was just Wormtail. Quiet and clumsy but...good, you know? He'd never hurt anyone. He used to go white at the thought of transfiguring a rat into a water goblet! I just..." He grit his teeth, unable to explain it. "If I hadn't seen it for myself... I can't believe he'd be so stupid as to go to Voldemort. Now he has and he can't bloody get out. Fucking...fucking stupid..."

“Hey calm down, it will be aright you will see him at school again when we head back and you can corner him and find out what’s going on” he said as he looked at James seeing the pain on his face at being betrayed by one of his close friends. “You will figure this out James and until then I will be sure to keep us both safe and out of reach…your little girl got pretty scared to, she’s been having trouble settling down” he said rubbing his belly with his and James’ joined hands.

"You're trying to distract me," James murmured, but it was working. Severus was getting frighteningly good at knowing exactly what to say to him at the right times. He reached around to more comfortably splay his hand across Severus' belly as they walked. "Nothing's ever going to hurt you. Either of you. If Wormtail comes near either of you again..." He winced. He didn't know if he'd be able to control himself if Wormtail dared to show his face at Hogwarts after the Easter Holidays. He didn't dare think of what Sirius might do...

"Will Narcissa be alright?" he asked then. "Wormtail didn't hurt her or the baby?"

“He knocked her down at one point when she was in labour…I couldn’t get to her though because he started coming after me. I hope she and the baby are alright, I would hate to think that something bad happened to either of them” Severus murmured thinking about how she was doing and knowing that they must have reached the house by know. “We should hurry back, I want to be sure that they are doing aright.”

"Not too fast," James said sternly. "You've been through a lot too, you know? Just take care of both of you first and foremost, yeah?" They reached the house after not too much longer, however and were greeted by the sight of Nibbles shooting through the hallway with a stack of towels piled high in her arms, a bowl of warm water floating behind her.

"They're in the ground floor guest suite," Alan Potter said from where he stood in the hallway, leaning heavily on his cane this morning. James nodded. Remus and Lily were beside him.

"Sirius in with her and Mum?" he asked.

They all nodded.

"Your mother called a mediwitch too," Lily said, "they're all in there. The baby was crowning already when we got here. "Her labour is progressing so quickly! Some women can be at it for hours and others not even one hour!"

James winced. "Do I even want to know what that means?"

“No you don’t” Severus said quickly shuddering at the thought. He might love his books and finding out knew information but reading about pregnancy and birth were some books he wished he had never picked up.

“Every now and then we will here Narcissa yell but then she will go quiet again, at this point we aren’t sure what is happening but we are sure that the baby should be really close by now and we should hear it’s cries any minutes” Lily said with a smiled as she looked at the pair before looking back at the door being sure not to miss the babies first cries to know that everything was alright.

Severus looked at the door at well as he gave James’ hand a squeeze hoping as well that Narcissa and little Draco would both be alright after everything that happened.

"Come here then, you're pregnant too young man," Mr Potter said softly, urging Severus to sit on the chair that usually just sat ornamentally in the corner beside a rustic lamp. "Are you alright? Remus told us what happened, or at least, as much as possible. You aren't hurt, are you Severus?"

“No I’m alright, just a little shook up” he said a she took the offered seat and sat down in it feeling his body slowly start to settle down from its adrenalin rush. “And I’m feeling really sleepy now and my back kind of hurts…but I want to be sure Narcissa and the baby are alright before I go for a lie down” he said looking at Mr Potter.

Alan nodded. "She was progressing quickly, the way I heard it. One of the easier ones I hope. I'm sure she'll want to see you once her little man arrives too." He smiled warmly at Severus, patting his shoulder tentatively before insisting he make everyone tea while they wait - Nibbles being otherwise occupied.

James, not caring that Evans and Remus were in the hall still with them, reached down and stroked the back of Severus' neck. "Dad really likes you, you know," he mused softly. "I think he reckons you're good for me 'cause you don't let me have my way."

Severus moaned happily feeling relaxed as James stroked the back of his neck. “What can I say, us Slytherins don’t like Gryffindors getting there own way all time” he said with a light laughed. “And I like your dad too, he’s really nice I wish my dad could have been like yours” he smiled as he looked at James. “Do you think you could give my back a rub later in the bath? It really hurts and I need a wash after being throw around the forest today.”

James beamed. He didn't think he'd ever get over the thrill of Severus asking him to touch him so forthrightly, so blatantly. Knowing Severus trusted him, wanted him was just....

There were no words.

"As soon as we've seen Narcissa and Draco," he said, letting his hand drift down to massage Severus' shoulder leisurely as they waited.

They didn't have to wait long. They barely let their tea touch their lips before the mediwitch, a round, dark haired woman of about fifty ambled down the stairs, looking tired but pleased. "Both well," she said to their relief. "Nice quick birth. Baby boy doesn't cry very loudly but well enough and he's breathing well. Mrs Potter has it all in hand. I'll be back in an hour to check up." She looked directly at Severus then. "Miss Black would like to see you first, my boy."

“Me?” he said sounding a little started before he looked at James and he gave him a nod. “Alright then” he said standing from him chair and making his way to the room before stopping at the door, he didn’t know what he was going to see on the other side but Narcissa wanted to see him and that was all that mattered as he reached for the door handle and turned before stepping inside of the room. “Narcissa?” he said quietly as he walked inside and shut the door behind him.

Narcissa was laying on the bed, pale and exhausted but smiling softly propped up against the pillows. The room was light and decorated in pale yellows and whites. In the chair beside the bed, Sirius sat with a blue bundle in his arms, apparently so lost in looking at the little one that he didn't even notice Severus' entrance.

Mrs Potter smiled and beckoned Severus forward, before moving past him into the corner, fussing with a moses basket, making it up ready for the baby. 

"Severus," Narcissa said, her voice tired, "you've been so good to me, probably the only real friend I ever had." She saw his mouth move to protest and quickly carried on before he could interrupt. "I want you to be the first to meet Draco Severus Black."

While Severus stood stunned, Sirius finally looked up, grudgingly relinquishing his hold on the tiny blue bundle and passing him to Narcissa who angled him in her arm so that Severus could see a small dusting of blond hair and a pink, wrinkled little face with closed eyes and tiny fists.

Severus looked at the small bundle with amazed eyes as he moved closer to the bed and sat down on the edge looking at little Draco. “He’s…he’s beautiful Narcissa” he said giving her a warm smile. “But…are you sure you want to give it my name as well? I’m sure you could think of a much nice name for him” he said lightly even as he watched the little bundle of blue blankets move slightly and he smiled. “Welcome to the world little Draco Black. I’m so glad you and your mom are alright.” He smiled reaching out and very gently touching him little fist with one on his fingers being careful not to hurt such a fragile looking baby but he guessed he thought that of all babies being so small. “And you know, you have the best dad in the world to, he is going to take care of both you and your mom. He wont let anything happen to you” he smiled as he looked at Sirius out of the corner of his eye seeing how protective he was already of the little bundle.

Narcissa smiled affectionately. "Would you like to hold him?" she asked softly, "Sirius held him first but...I'd really like you to, please?" She added the latter when she saw the fear on Severus' face, leaning toward him and urging the tiny bundle into Severus' chest. "Support his head with the crook of your arm, I find that easiest. Hold him close, you won't hurt him."

“Oh I’m not sure about this Narcissa” he said holding onto Draco like Narcissa had told him to, he felt uncomfortable holding onto the fragile bundle though and stiffened up worried that he might do something wrong and the terrible thought of actually dropping the child entered him mind. “I think that’s enough for one day, you should really hold him, you are his mom after all” he said after only about 3 minutes of holding him and hoping that Narcissa or Sirius would take the baby from him.

Narcissa smiled and looked up at Sirius. "Bring Lily and the others in? Severus can hold onto him for a bit longer," she said with a voice that was determined despite her tiredness. "Here, Severus, sit on the bed with me if you're afraid you'll drop him." As Severus tentatively did so, Sirius popping out the door, she rested her head against Severus' shoulder and stared down into her son's tiny face.

"All this time, I never thought I'd love him as much as I do. I never thought I was capable of this kind of emotion, especially after Lucius..." She trailed off, shaking her head, eyes shining. "You'll feel the same Severus, I know you will. This feeling, it's...it conquers all else. Even though I have no idea what I'm doing, we can learn together, me and him," she stroked her sleeping baby's tiny cheek and sighed in content exhaustion. "I just know everything will be ok."

“…I don’t know if I will feel this way” he said looking down at the tiny baby in his arms as he took in a tiny breath and his little hand gripped a corner of his blanket. “…I’m still going to just give her to James” he said feeling ashamed for even saying the words after Narcissa had just had her baby. “I know that when I have her James will expect me to stay…but…I don’t love him, I tried to push him away so many times that in the end I just let him stay…but I don’t love him Narcissa…I cant stay with him like he wants” Severus said feeling a dull ach in his chest at his words.

Narcissa blinked hard, her eyes still shining. "Who are you trying to convince?" she said firmly, "me or yourself? Because I will tell you, Severus, it's not just Potter that lights up when you're together. We've been in the same classes since we were eleven. I've never seen you as alive as you are with him." She lay back against the bed and closed her eyes, breathing softly. "Even if you can't stay with Potter, it doesn't mean you have to leave your daughter. Many parents aren't together and raise their children perfectly well. Don't give up on her so easily, Severus. She already loves you so much..."

“That’s only because I’m carrying her around in my body” he murmured. “And I like having James around because he’s the only one who can stopped her kicking me to an early death…I really don’t know Narcissa, I don’t know if I can handle all this when I don’t understand any of it…it’s not something I can read from a book or figure out in a lab. I have know idea what I will choose to do when my labour starts” he said looking at her and considering moving to put Draco in his new moses basket but decided it would be better if he didn’t move off the bed with the baby.

Narcissa looked at him fully again. "I'll still be here for you, Draco will still have your name if you decide you can't handle Potter or the baby. But I'm telling you Severus, as your friend, don't shut the door on your baby girl before you've even seen her. She...she needs you. Just promise me you'll wait and see?"

Severus sighed. “According to the books I will be lucky if I do see her at all” he said hugging Draco lightly. “I’m getting really scared about this whole thing Narcissa…I don’t want James to know that though, I know how excited he is about all of this. The baby and her knew room and all the things there going to do…and every time he is always sure to put me in the picture” he said saddle at the though, James had always added him to every story he had told about what they would do with there daughter and even Severus himself had had one memory he would like to see and that was them pushing there daughter on the swing in the Potter garden. 

"Just give her a chance," she said, "if my baby boy can turn me into this sentimental fop you never know what your darling girl can do to Severus Snape." Before they could say anything else, the others all piled in the door. They each had a turn holding Draco, but Narcissa and Lily were intrigued to see Severus blush a little at the sight of James supporting the tiny blue bundle in his arms. 

"Looks good holding a baby, doesn't he Sev?" Lily whispered to him conspiratorially."

Severus blushed and gave a nod. “Y-yes…well it’s good to see that he will be able to hold his daughter well” he said looking at James and seeing how natural he looked holding baby Draco and swaying him gentle in his arms as he smiled down at him. “He will make a really good father to his little girl, I just know he will” he said absently scratching at his arm lightly. James did look natural with a baby as if he had need waiting to do so for years and Severus was just worried to get to close to the child in case he hurt it or did something wrong.

"Can't wait to see you hold our daughter," James said softly, reluctantly giving Draco over to an eager Sirius. He crossed the room, putting a hand on Severus' wrist to stop him from scratching. His eyes were warm and soft. "You'll be amazing. We'll do it together."

Before Severus could answer, Narcissa spoke.

"The school have made provisions for me to go back and finish my exams with you all after Easter," she said, eyelids drooping slightly. "I know it's a lot to ask, but I would really appreciate it if you could all take Draco now and then for me during revision and exams?"

Her tone was embarrassed yet hopeful. Sirius smiled at her, Draco wrapped tightly in his arms and came to sit on the side of her bed. "We were talking and because of the lessons we're all taking, there will always be at least one of us not in an exam while the other is. So if we could take it in turns?"

“Oh I would be happy to take little Draco from time to time!” Lily beamed happy at the though of getting her hands on the tiny bundle and getting to spend some time with him.

“If there is ever a time you are all in an exam together me and Alen will be happy to take him for a few hours” Mrs Potter smiled. “This big house needs a little life in it now and then and it would be good for you all to get some study time in from time to time” she smiled.

“…I can help to” Severus said hesitantly even if he felt anxious about being left in charge of a tiny life by himself. But Narcissa was counting on him as much as anyone else and he couldn’t let her down.

"He'll be counting on you to be the sensible one in this gaggle of Gryffindors, Severus," Narcissa said tiredly, looking into her baby's face where he lay in Sirius' arms before her eyelids began to really droop. 

"I think we should let mother and baby rest," Mrs Potter said softly, pushing the moses basket over to sit beside the bed, although Sirius didn't look as if he was relinquishing the baby any time soon. "Come on, the rest of you our," she said, shooing everyone except Sirius away from the bedside.

“Have a good rest Narcissa” Severus said quietly as he left the room with everyone and Mrs Potter quietly shut the door behind everyone allowing Narcissa, Sirius and baby Draco some quiet alone time together.

“Right then, what does everyone say to a spot of lunch? If been a very eventful day and I’m sure that you are all hungry” he smiled looking around at the group of smiling teens.

“Um not to be rude Mrs Potter but I will I would just like a bath and a little sleep myself. My back if feeling pretty sore and after everything that’s happened I’m feeling rather wiped out to” Severus said as he rubbed at the small of his back trying to loosen up a muscle there.

Mrs Potter smiled warmly at him, knowingly, a light in her eyes that suggested she was remembering when she had been carrying James. "Of course, dear," she said brightly, "James take Severus upstairs and get him settled into a warm bath. Make yourself useful and rub his back. I'll send some food up for you."

James rolled his eyes but walked with Severus up the stairs. With Severus perched on the closed toilet lid, James began running a deep bubble bath for him. "You alright?" he asked softly over his shoulder, bent over the bath and swirling the water with his hand. "It's been a mad day, you know, with one of my best mate's trying to kidnap you and all..."

“I know, but I think I’m doing alright” he said shifting on the toilet seat a bit before giving a small miss and gaining James worried attention. “I’m fine don’t worry” he said gently before moving to remove him shirt and pulling over his head and look down at his stomach. “…I must have got thrown to the floor harder than I thought” he said looking at his side near his ribcage and seeing a large dark bruise starting to form there and spotting the worry on James’ face at seeing the bruise on his pale skin.

James crossed the room quickly, scanning the bruise and letting his fingers, damp from the bath, hover over the bruising. "That bastard," he hissed. "Even if he never really liked you, even if he hated you for some reason - hated me what has she ever done to deserve this?" His voice was low and solemn, pained. He avoided betraying his weakness before Severus by busying himself with the bathroom cabinet. Passing Severus the pregnancy-safe potion there, he then turned to continue filling the bath. "Take a few drops of that to make sure you're both alright, although it looks like you took most of the damage."

Severus gave a nod as he did as he was told. “I think she’s alright, she hasn’t really done anything out of the normal. She’s just moving around a lot more than normal” he said hissing as he rubbed his back. “I think she wants her dads attention, she doesn’t seem to like another men coming near her…or maybe she can just sense the bad ones coming near” he said moving to rub his belly even though he knew she only liked to settle for James for whatever reason. He had a feeling she was going to grow up to be a real daddy's girl.

James turned the water off when a warm bath with a thick covering of bubbles was fully drawn and turned to face Severus fully. "Magical babies are sensitive. Resilient too, thank Merlin." He finished stripping out of his clothes as Severus also rendered himself naked before him and stood back for Severus to get in the luxuriously sized bath first. "Come on, hop in and I'll rub your back for you."

Severus observed the bath for a moment before turning to look at James and then the bathroom mirror. “James…now” he said looking at him with a grin as he moved over to the sink counter and leaned over it. “I could really use a lot of relaxing, if you catch my drift” he winked. “And a bath after would be really good as well, so what do you say? You want to help me relax?” he smiled bent over the counter with his legs apart.

James blinked. "Again? Not that I'm complaining," he added quickly, "I just... You really want to?" He leaned closer, setting his hands on either side of Severus on the counter. "You don't have to, if it's just for me, I mean." His eyes glittered with some unnameable emotion. He spanned the gap between them, brushing their lips together softly. Inhaling softly as he drew back, James smiled, relaxing a little in their warm, steamy bubble - hidden from the outside world.

"How do you want it?" he breathed huskily.

“It’s not for you, it’s for me. I could use with forgetting parts of today and I know that you do that best” he smiled taking one of James’ hands and placing it on hip as he turned to look at the mirror. “And I want you to have me right here, like this…so you can see everything I’m doing and every face I make” he smiled using his free hand to touch the mirror in front of them that reflected there every more.

“Sound good to you?”

James groaned deep in his throat. He stepped fully against Severus then, both hands caressing his hips, one sliding up to his chest. He watched in the mirror as he bypassed those (now far too sensitive nipples) to caress the base of that throat. Severus' cheeks flushed beautifully as he watched that mouth part slightly in a gasp. He reached up further, tracing those lips, that tongue...

"I like this, I can see all of you."

Severus gave a light blush but nodded as he pressed his arse up against James and rubbed himself against him. “I thought you might like it” he breathed as he licked and sucked on James’ fingers with small moans until that were wet with his saliva and he looked into the mirror as he took them deep into his mouth again. 

James panted, nuzzling into that neck and breathing hotly over Severus' ear. "You make me so bloody happy," he whispered, kissing the skin just behind his ear in an expression of tenderness, even as he rocked his hard prick into the cleft between those round cheeks. "Want me to go inside tonight? Tell me what you want."

“I want you inside of me James” he panted releasing his fingers from his mouth and rubbed against James more. “I want to feel you in every part of me, I want you to be as rough or gentle as you want…anything goes today” he said giving a shudder of excitement at what James could do to and feeling his hard cock sliding between his butt cheeks.

"Tell me if you need me to slow down or stop," James urged him, pushing Severus' knee up so that he was kneeling on the counter, putting his arse at perfect level with James' hips. James held his gaze in the mirror for a moment more before looking down, spreading those cheeks wide. The pink entrance twitched under his gaze. James' cock gave an answering pulse.

His wand was sitting on the edge of the bath. James flicked it to maintain the temperature and bubbles in the bath, then once again so that the large jar of lubricant shot into his spare hand. "Hold yourself up on the counter, don't let yourself fall, alright?" he said seriously, setting his wand aside and tipping the jar so that the thick, clear oil drooled generoisly over Severus' hole. It twitched, as if guzzling it up greedily.

"Mmm, like a little pink mouth," James whispered filthily. "I like it."

Severus moaned and blushed as he felt his arse twitching around the delicious feel of the oil as it ran over the ring of muscles on his entrance and over his balls. “Who knew James Potter was such a little pervert…oh that’s right, I do” he grinned as he gave a shudder and reached a hand back allowing his middle finger to slide over his twitching entrance.

“I want you in here James, my body is begging to feel you hard cock inside of me” he said with a moan as he allowed his finger to slide inside his body and he arched his back at the feeling of the roaming finger.

"I love it when you're all carefree and brazen," James said with a gasp of a laugh, sliding two fingers easily through the soft, yielding ring of muscles. "Mmm you're still all ready down here, maybe I've been in here a bit too much? Think your tender little hole needs a rest?" James teased huskily, crooking his fingers just right to caress the button of pleasure within.

“N-no it doesn’t” Severus panted moving a hand to touch the mirror for support as his hips has a buck to James’ teasing fingers and letting out moans. “It just shows…how much I like it…I don’t need to rest” he shuddered swaying and jerking his hips on James’ fingers as they moved deep inside of his body.

"I could probably fit my whole hand in there and you'd still want more," James whispered, punctuating his words by pushing a third finger in to stretch him wide for his cock. The mouth-watering heat never failed to make his erection throb and his stomach clench. "You're so greedy," James said, drawing his fingers back so he could watch that entrance, shining wet with lube gape hungrily.

“No, I’m just really, really horny…I cant stop myself from wanting it all the time” he panted looking at James as he felt his ring of muscles twitch begging for more contact and his hips sway trying to lure James in. “I just want you all the time so much” he hummed as he reached down and stroked his cock gently.

James spread pulled a cheek to one side and guided the head of his cock forward, sliding the hot glans along the clenching ring, relishing the feel of it tugging at his sensitive flesh without going in. "Mmmm, hold onto the counter and watch yourself in the mirror. If you close your eyes or look away - I'll pull out and just stare at that pretty open little hole, alright?" He rubbed the swollen tip of his prick against that ring to be sure.

Severus moaned and bit his lip before looking into the mirror and bracing himself on the counter. “Yes sir Mr James” he panted his a grin letting his eyes glance up to the mirror to where James was standing behind him looking very pleased with himself at the reaction and being able to watch him even in this position.

"Want to play like like, do you?" James teased, grinning as he slid his cock up the length of Severus' crack. Severus was being more forward with every encounter they shared. James thrived on this confidence. "Watch your reflection. Don't look away," he whispered before rolling his hips forward and sliding inside. Slow and hard.

Severus moaned loudly as he tried not to shut his eyes or turn his head away as James entered him feeling his body tremble from the pleasure of just having James thrust inside him. Every encounter had been so overwhelming that Severus wondered how he managed to endure and go so long without doing this sooner. 

“Ah James, please I want to feel you more…please moving, take me.”

"Mmm I can see your face in the mirror," James breathed, pulling back to the tip then sliding slowly back in, painfully slow but deep. He reached beneath them to palm Severus' cock with equal slowness. "Tell me how it feels," he demanded heatedly, "tell me what you see in the mirror."

“I…I feel really hot…and excited” he moaned looking into the mirror as a blush shred across his face and he felt very glad for his big belly in that moment as it hid what James’ hand was doing if it didn’t he was sure he would be bright red. “It feels so good James, please…I want it harder.”

"Keep watching," James urged, rolling his hips just right harder and faster now, his hips clashing against Severus' arse and hand fisting his cock eagerly. He felt those tight walls grip him, slick with lube, saw Severus' flushed face open and overcome with ecstasy. He saw that mouth slightly open with gasping groans, those dark eyes glittering wet with arousal. "You're so fucking gorgeous," James panted, "does it embarrass you to watch your own expression while I fuck you?"

“Y-yes” Severus admitted but he knew eventually the dizzying passion would make him forget everything and not care that he was watching himself get fucked by James. “But I…I like it…I like it when you fuck me. It’s so over powering I cant stand it” he moaned as his heated breaths left small fog patches on the mirror every time he got a little closer to it.

“Don’t stop watching,” James insisted breathlessly, twisting his hand over the head of Severus’ cock to make his lover’s hips jerk hungrily. He set knotted the fingers of his free hand in Severus’ hair, holding his head back so they could lock eyes in the mirror. His own cock was being squeezed by those slick, tight muscles and it throbbed as he fucked him deep and hard.

“Oh James, you feel so fucking amazing!” Severus moaned loudly as he back arched and he pushed his hips back against James as his muscles clenched around James causing his to moan louder at the feeling. “Do…do you like looking at me…in the mirror?” he panted as his body twitched around James hungrily. 

“Yessss!” James hissed. “So sexy. All of you lo–” he saved himself just in time, covering his slip by leaning forward with his hastening thrusts to mouth at Severus’ neck. “Want you all the time. Want to watch you come with me inside you.” He didn’t think he’d last long, not with the steam making that skin flush or with those eyes shining so honestly with pleasure. Severus’ insides were gripping him greedily, so tight around him. James groaned.

“Th-thought you did…you naughty boy” he moaned gripping at the counter as he bucked his hips moving in time with James. “J-James…I…I want o kiss you” he moaned not taking his eyes away from the mirror in case James denied him and pulled out if he turned his head away from the mirror. 

James pushed up onto his toes with his next thrust, burying himself balls deep inside his lover and guiding Severus' head to the side so that their lips could meet in a delicious, clumsy kiss. "Whatever you want," James panted between wet, open-mouthed kisses. "I'll give you everything."

“I just want you to kiss me…and touch me…never stop touching me” Severus said in shuddering breathes as he kissed James back slipping his tongue into his mouth and massaging his tongue against James as they fought for dominance. “I…I like it when you touch me.” 

James growled desperately into his mouth, breaking their kiss and the connection of their bodies only to flip Severus round onto his back. He snatched his wand off the side again, flicking it clumsily at the mirror. It multiplied, the duplicates floating to position themselves either side as well as above them so that the reflection of their bodies was all either could see. James smiled breathlessly, dropping his wand again and pulling Severus' legs up, smashing their lips together in a kiss and thrusting back inside in the same motion.

Severus moaned into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around James’ and ran his fingers though his hair enjoying the soft feel of the messed up hair as he wrapped his legs around James as well and pulled him in closer to his body. “You feel so amazing James” he panted as he broke the kiss and looked into James’ eyes seeing the lust, passion and even the love that was there and it was all being directed at him.

"Perfect," James mumbled nonsensically, breathlessly. He cupped the back of Severus' neck as he leant further into him, his hips rocking hard, free hand seizing Severus' neglected prick again. "Don't think I can last, Sev, let me come in you and I'll suck you 'til you burst?" His cock was pulsing with need, balls tight and heavy. It was too much.

“C-Come inside…I want you to come inside of me” he moaned kissing him deeply again before breaking the kiss and pulling James’ in close as he rested his head on his shoulder. “You feel so amazing I want to feel you come inside of me! Let me have it!” Severus called as he allowed his body to tighten around James the friction sending him into a dizzying orgasmic fit and feeling unsure about how much longer he would last himself.

James hummed softly, nuzzling against Severus' ear and rolling his hips more urgently now. "I'll come inside your tight little arse and finger your sweet hole while I suck you off, hmm? Does that sound nice? Do you want me to make a mess inside your arse?" He was so close. His muscles tightened, his insides clenched and his cock was so hot and hard it almost hurt.

“Oh yes fuck me! Come inside of me and make me all dirty!” he moaned loudly into James’ neck as he bucked his hips up to James gaining him a loud moan. “I want you to suck my cock while you finger me and your cum drips out of my arse.”

"Fuck!" James gasped, turning into Severus' neck, sucking hard there as he punched his hips forward a final time and spilled himself inside. He rode Severus' body with slow, hard thrusts as his climax rippled through him. With blood and pleasure still pounding in his ears, he dropped to his knees, sliding three fingers into the slick, sloppy entrance he'd just spent himself in.

"Come in my mouth, Sev," he gasped breathlessly, still panting for breath, sweat beading his brow as he curled his fingertips into Severus' tight bud of pleasure, punctuating his words by sucking that hard, pink erection into his mouth.

“AHH! Oh Fuck James!” Severus all but screamed as his back arched and he had to resist the erg to gip onto James’ hair as he sucked his cock and fingered his dripping whole. “Oh fuck! James…James I…I can’t…I can’t hold it!” Severus moaned as James moved faster and hummed around his mouthful sending delicious vibration’s up Severus’ body.

“AHH JAMES!!” Severus yelled as he pushed his hips forward and came hard inside of James mouth and his body shook with spazzems.

James massaged that pulsing erection with his tongue as he sucked down every drop, caressing Severus' prostate right through his lover's orgasm, until those hips were jerking weekly up into his face. With a final, deep suck, James swallowed and stood up, still panting but smiling regardless. "What you wanted?" he whispered huskily, banishing the mirrors and wrapping Severus in his arms, nestling into his neck dazedly. "Feel better?"

“M…much” he breathed wrapping his arms around James more for support than anything but soon found himself nuzzling at James chest feeling comforted by the scent raising off his sweat covered body. “I guess…we should have that bath now” he said looking up at James and giving him a smile moving out of the hold and over to the bath where he waited for James to climb in first having grown used to just sitting between his legs when they had baths together and he would wash his back and hair for him.

James leant back against the smooth side of the tub, letting the slow, calming massage of the softly bubbling water draw him into relaxation. He smoothed a lathered up flannel over Severus' back, still in awe that Severus didn't so much as flinch from his touch there nowadays. After they were both clean and lying together in the warm bubbles for some time, James found himself voicing his thoughts aloud. 

"I didn't think babies could be beautiful” he said honestly. "I mean they're precious and sweet and...adorable but I didn’t think I'd look at one and think... But Draco was gorgeous and he wasn't even mine. Are all babies like that, you reckon? Do you reckon little Hayley will be?"

“I don’t know” he said soft as he lapped a small amount of water over his extended belly. “Narcissa says when it’s your own…you feel so much love looking down at your baby that you cant contain it…so I know you will be like that with little Hayley” he said stroking his belly with the back of his hand and wondering if he might feel that overwhelming feeling when he looked at his daughter.

"You will too, trust me," James whispered, resting his nose against the nape of Severus' neck. "Don't put so much pressure on yourself. It'll happen. We just have to sit these NEWTs then all we have to worry about is her." His brow furrowed then as he remembered that wasn't strictly true. "And Riddle," he whispered through gritted teeth. "The 'practice' lessons for the spell Dumbledore has been teaching me. I...I can do it, I know I can. And I know why I have to but Dumbledore is...how can I do a spell that will kill him? No matter what the outcome."

“If there was another way…he would have told us. Just don’t go getting yourself will as well James” he said turning his head and brushing his nose against James’ wet hair before turning away again. “This little girl is really going to need her dad…I don’t want to grow up thinking she was the cause of you death if something went wrong…so you have to be careful.”

James smiled sadly, kissing Severus' pale neck softly. "The spell will take a lot out of me but it's not dangerous for me. It's Dumbledore I'm worried about." He sat there for a moment, letting the feel of Severus against him calm him slowly. "I don't think I can stand the death of someone I care about on my hands, I can barely think about Malfoy..."

“Then don’t think about him” he said. “Just think about what you are doing for…I know it will be painful…but it would be more painful seeing your daughter die at ‘his’ hand” he said as he reached into the water and took one of James’ hands and rested it on his belly as he slipped his fingers between James’. “Remember you are doing this to save her…and if the memories become too much for you…we can remove them.”

"No," James said firmly. "Memories, even the bad ones, they're part of who we are. We can't get rid of them - life doesn't work like that and magic shouldn't." He sighed softly, stroking their (at the moment) unmoving baby through Severus' stomach. "I'll handle it. I just...I can't imagine a world without Albus Dumbledore in it, you know? He's sort of...he makes me feel safe."

“I know” he said turning and kissing James’ cheek. “But not everyone can live forever James and once we left school we will have to make are own way in the world, we wouldn’t be under his watch and protection forever” he said as he leaned his head against James.

"We'll have to look out for each other then," James murmured softly, closing his eyes and basking with Severus in the warmth of the bath for a little while longer.

***

James smiled affectionately in the direction of the man sprawled across the stone steps in the courtyard, their Transfiguration books spread about them, Evans and Remus as they did some last minute cramming. They were just waiting for Sirius and Narcissa to join them before they headed off to Transfiguration together. Narcissa had just been sitting her Ancient Runes exam and Sirius had headed off with baby Draco to fetch her. 

Peter still hadn't showed his face since they'd returned to school. But James was sure he would turn up soon. He had exams after all - even his once friend no longer cared about them, they provided perfect 'cover' for him to continue to service Riddle. Dumbledore hadn't seemed to have much to say on that revelation, but then, he always did play his cards close to his chest...

"Head out of the clouds, Prongs or you'll never get into the right mindset. This isn't like Quidditch, you can't just wing it," Remus said, dragging James out of his reverie.

James blinked, looking down to where Evans and Severus were practically nose-deep in their books. "If I don't know it now I never will," he said simply.

Severus tuted at James as his eyes glanced up over his book. “That is not a good reason to give up James. It’s good for you to keep reading so everything stays fresh in your mind for the exam” Severus said looking at him before going back to his book.

“He’s right you know, I bet even Sirius will hit the books once he gets here with Narcissa. He doesn’t want to go failing his exams, I bet he wants to pass with flying colours to show the rest of his Slytherin family that he might be a black sheep in there eyes but he’s still amazing” Lily smiled turning a page in her book. 

James flushed at the severity of Severus' gaze, feeling sheepish and shifted closer to his boyfriend to read over his shoulder. "Hmmm," he whispered in the boy's ear. "This will help me remember everything I read," he mused, leaning in closer to rest his head on Severus' shoulder as he read. "Might be even easier to remember if you read it to me?" James teased, trying to distract Severus from the stress and panic that had ruled them both since they'd returned from the Easter Holidays. He swore he saw the briefest flicker of a smile on those lips.

“Now stop that you” he said trying not to smile as he placed a hand on James’ face and pushed his down onto the grass. “It won’t help at all if you read over my shoulder or I read to you” he said quickly lifting his book to hide his small and a silent laugh he was having a little trouble holding back before finally lowering his book. “I hope my magic will stay under control long enough for this exam. It’s still a little week and all over the place” he said spotting a snail and aiming his wand at it where it proceeded to turn into a slug.

“Look you see that was pretty good your magic should be just fine then Sev” Lily said cheering him on and giving him a smile before he looked at her.

“I was trying to turn it into a butterfly” he said looking at the slug and knowing that he was going to fail this test even though he knew if he wasn’t pregnant he would be able to do it perfectly and that’s what annoyed him the most.

James sat up a little straighter and looked at Severus seriously. "Dumbledore says if your condition affects your practicals you're allowed to apply to resit them in August. Apparently it's happened before. And we got lucky that the Potions practical exam was on a non-toxic potion that you aced without even glancing at the instructions. You'll be fine, don't worry," he promised, glancing up at Narcissa and Sirius as they descended the steps to where they were all sat, baby Draco snoozing in the carrier strapped to Sirius' chest. It was the picture of happiness and James couldn't help but beam up at them.

“Aw look at the proud daddy” Remus smiled as they got closer and smiled watching Draco’s little feet swaying from out of the bottom of his carrier still finding the scene cute.

“How did the exam go Narcissa? Are you feeling alright?” Severus asked as the pair took up at seat on one of the benches and Severus finally gave up on his book and sat it to one side deciding it would be best to take a little break before his head exploded or he read the same line for the 8th time. 

"Exhausted," Narcissa sighed. "First thing Draco did was fill his nappy up when he saw me." She laughed and looked dotingly up at her son and Sirius. "I will just be glad when we've graduated and we can all relax a little. I'm going to move in with Sirius, you know. I cannot wait to take Draco for a stroll in Hyde Park."

"It is literally a stone's throw from the flat," James agreed. Then looked at Remus. "You going to be alright with a baby in your batchelor pad?"

“I have know problem with that” Remus said with a smile reaching and stroking one of Draco’s feet that was covered by his little baby grow. “Besides I was kind of thinking about getting my own little place. You know, I don’t want to risk this little guys safety on a full moon…and it would be nice to have my own place if I ever want someone to stay” he said glancing at Lily and giving her a smile.

“You should give Draco to James, I bet he would love to give you a break and change him. It would be good practice as well for when she finally comes out” he said with a big smile as he looked at Narcissa.

James looked at Severus with chin held high in mock-pride. "I'll have you know I have absolutely no problem with that. Whatever he makes in his nappy can't be any worse than dicing flobberworms or handling metabolised dragon shit in Potions." He looked at Narcissa, undeterred. "Next one is me. After this exam anyway. Sadly this is an exam I have to sit. He reached for Draco with grabby hands. "Lemme take him through the floo to Mum though. You guys wait here for me, yeah? We'll go to the exam together then."

Reluctantly, Sirius handed baby Draco over. Severus caught James' eye as James pulled the blond, sleepy infant into his arms, slinging the bag Sirius had over his own shoulder. Severus always got this thoughtful, content look when he saw him hold Draco. He thought it might be a good sign. He couldn't wait to hold Hayley....

“Are you going to be skipping transfigurations Severus?” Narcissa asked as she looked at him. “It’s just I think it’s an exam that we all have together and if you were going to skip I was thinking maybe you could look after Draco when that one came” she said giving him a warm smile as Severus just looked at her wide eyed.

“Oh…um…well…I don’t know yet” he stammered not liking the thought of being left with the tiny infant. He hadn’t even held him since Narcissa had forced him into his arms the day he was born. “I…I will have to let you know on the day. I might be feeling up for it” he said glancing away from her and glancing at Draco in James’ arms before looking away again. 

"Draco will be good for his Uncle Severus," James said brightly, lifting Draco's pudgy arm into a fake wave. "I'll be back in a sec." He paused then, remembering something. "Sev, don't go anywhere alone, alright? Dumbledore is trying to adjust the wards to reject Wormtail but since he's technically still a student he might still crop up. Stay with everyone, yeah?"

“Alright I will stay with the group” he said giving James a smile to reassure him.

“Don’t worry we will make sure he doesn’t wonder off not even to just go to the bathroom” Remus said knowing that James would worry if Severus would leave the group even for something as small as to empty his bladder when Hayley had been continuously kicking it recently.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here is is guys the final chapter!!  
> I would like to thank all you wonderful girls and guys for reading and enjoying the story to the end, as well ask all of the lovely comments and views <3

Chapter Eleven

After dropping Draco to his mother via Dumbledore's fireplace, he made his way back to the others. Seeing his mother so elated with a baby in her arms again, he found his steps much lighter. He couldn't wait to see Severus and his parents gathered around Hayley. She couldn't arrive soon enough for him. 

Well. He hoped this mess with Riddle was over with by then..

The others were all gathered on the stairs, standing now, and turned their heads when he reached them. He couldn't help but gravitate immediately to Severus as they walked towards the Great Hall together. The man was so nervous, deep in thought and scratching absently at his arm. James wrapped the arm around his, drawing Severus' attention back to him. "Hey," he whispered, "if you get through this exam for me, I'll do something for you later?"

“Something for me?” he asked looking at James as he slowed the scratching of his arm. “You mean like a really good back rub?” he asked looking at him a little hopeful on that request even though he knew James would do it for him know matter where they were at the time. He’d openly done it in the library once ignorant of everyone staring at them since he was leaning over Severus’ shoulder as well to read his book with him. 

James beamed and when he was sure no one was looking, slid his hand down to cup Severus' arse briefly. "A VERY good back rub," he said teasingly, before sliding his hand back up to cup the small of his back, rubbing gently as they walked to alleviate the now near-constant ache there. "Reckon that's good enough inspiration?"

“Hmm, maybe” he said with a smile. “I guess you will have to prove that it’s worth my while later and I think you are going to send me into an exam very distracted now Mr Potter” he said shaking his head at James slightly but enjoying the rubbing of his back as they walked. “And here is hoping your daughter doesn’t kick me again in the exam. I freaked everyone out last time when I hissed and started rubbing my stomach” he said even with a smile on his face as he remembered all the worried faces that suddenly looked at him after the action.

James laughed good-naturedly. "They probably thought you'd gone into labour right in the middle of the exam." They all filed in and as he passed the desks, looking for the one with his name on it, James couldn't help but notice that 'Pettigrew' was empty. He really wasn't here, he really was with Riddle. He really was against them in this, whether that had been his intention or not...

He glanced up as Severus passed to his own desk, two seats ahead of him and wondered just what had possessed his friend to want to hurt Severus and their baby.

***

After the exam had ended the group went there own ways, Narcissa and Sirius went off to Dumbledore’s office to floo to the Potter house to retrieve Draco. Lily and Remus had decided they had been sitting for to long and opted to walk to the owlery since Lily had a letter for home anyway and James and Severus had decided to visit the library to do a bit of studying in the restricted section before heading back to there room later.

Severus had seated himself at the desk in there and was flicking through a book called. ‘Advanced dark arts, how to perform them and what to avoid’ he had only read the first few lines before looking at James and then around the small closed off room. “Being in here sure takes us back doesn’t it?” he said looking at James again. “The last time we were in here that book shelf fell on us and then you went all weird and wouldn’t stop saying things to me” he said giving James a smile not wanting to say anything about what had happened after they left the room.

James winced. He wanted to hide his face, his shame but didn't think he deserved it. Instead he sat down at the table and looked Severus straight in the eye. "I'm ashamed of the way I've treated you over the years, Severus," he said seriously. "But I am disgusted with how I behaved that night. I can't..." He winced, losing his courage and staring down at his clenched fingers. "I can't believe you forgave me, let me in enough to... I don't deserve it. No matter what I do, no matter how many times I say I'm sorry, I'll never deserve you. Or Hayley..."

“Well sorry to say you are stuck with her” he said looking at James and giving him a smile. “And I do admit you where a total jerk that day going on about things you saw that I didn’t and then…tying me up like that” he said with a small shudder as he shifted in his chair. “You did something most wouldn’t forgive. But you have tried to make up for it and that means a lot even if you don’t think so, I know Hayley is grateful for what you did because lets face it she wouldn’t be here if you didn’t” he said rubbing his large belly with one of his slender hands.

James glanced up at Severus from under his fringe. "I don't blame you if you can't ever fully forgive me or...or want me." He inhaled softly, then reached for Severus' hands, clasping them both in his own. "But I'll do everything I can for the rest of my life to try and deserve you. And Hayley. I...I want you to be proud of me, to be happy, hopefully with me."

“I am proud of you James Potter” he said looking at James. “You have done and are doing so much to make up for things that you’ve done. I can see that when you come back from your lessons with Dumbledore and you look so exhausted but you still find time and energy to look after me and Hayley even if it’s just rubbing my back for me” he said leaning forward and touching his forehead to James’. “Not only that but…you never looked at me with disgust when ever you looked at my back or how I would tear up my arm if I got nervous…you never did that with me and that alone…and that alone means a lot to someone like me” Severus said in a half choked voice as he tried to hold back a sod, his scars had always been a sensitive subject and just know James excepted them was enough to drive his hormonal self to tears.

"Nothing about you could ever disgust me," James said reverently, "every part of you is precious to me. And the fact that you shared every part of yourself with me, even after all I've done, that just makes it more precious." He pulled Severus forward slightly, just enough so that he could stroke the place on his forearm that would usually be subject to scratches. He stroked it gently, his eyes fixed on Severus'. "You're getting so much better. I'm so glad."

“I think that’s because of you” he said lightly as he looked into James’ eyes. “You take care of me and you stop me from going after my arm so much. You gently stop me from doing it you don’t hit my hand away or raise your voice like most probably would…you are just so sweet to me” he said with a light smile before kissing James’ lips gently and then pulling away again.

"I could be sweeter," James said softly, eyes flitting from Severus' eyes to his face, then back up to meet his gaze again. "I want to make all the shit you've had to deal with, even the parts that weren't caused by me, want it all to go away." He stroked Severus' arm gently. "Maybe we can overcome the memories in this room with new ones?" he suggested, his voice still soft but becoming huskier now with suggestion. "If you want, that is. I did promise you a reward." He punctuated his point by closing the book Severus had open in front of him. "Perhaps a distraction from all the exam stress is in order too?"

Severus looked at James before ginning. “You mean…here? But we are in the library someone could see us” he said even as he put his arms around James’ neck. “What will people think if they see a head boy breaking such a big rule…I mean you have already got a student pregnant and know you want to have sex in pubic” he said with a grin as he looked into James eyes and turned on his chair.

James beamed wickedly, sliding his fingers up Severus' hands and caressing the inside of his wrists slowly, suggestively. "What are they going to do? Expel me? We only have a few weeks of school left." He glanced at the door back into the standard part of the library and flicked his wand, locking it soundly with a sound-proofing charm for good measure. His eyes were bright and mischievous as he shrugged off his robe. 

"Come on Severus," he breathed, leaning over the desk and tearing off his own tie, before tugging Severus up by his. "Where's your sense of adventure?" he teased. He held Severus close by the grip on his tie, bringing their lips together in a slow, coaxing caress. He wanted to obliterate the dark memories from in here. He wanted to give Severus something he'd never forget - something good.

Severus grinned as he pushed himself up against James him big belly keeping them only a small distance apart. “Sorry if I think I might be cause with my pants down, quit literally” he said with a breathy laugh as he tangled one of his hands with James as he leaned in to kiss him.

“Promise know one will see my back if they do somehow get in here” he said looking into James’ eyes, that one though making him feel hesitant about having sex in a public place above all others.

James cocked his head a fraction before leaning in to steal a kiss. "Never. You're all mine to see," he whispered with equal parts possessiveness and protectiveness rich in his husky voice. He shifted then, until he was behind Severus. He slid his hand into the collar of the man's robes, tugging them open enough so that he could caress his collarbone, right up to his throat. He stroked the skin there, the slight protrusion of his lover's adam's apple and with the tip of a finger he coerced that face to turn slightly towards him. There, James grazed their lips together, pressing himself against Severus' back protectively, intimately.

“I believe you” he breathed as he looked at James his hips moving slightly at James’ closeness to him. “Still don’t believe that you would want to do it in a public place like the library. What will Madame Pince say when she finds out what we did to he beloved books” he said with a half smile before kissing James deeply and pushing his arse up against his groin and moving his hips in an up down motion almost feeling how tight the fabric around James’ groin was getting from his movements. 

James smiled devilishly against Severus' jaw and rolled his hips forward so that his own cock pressed hard up against the seam of his trousers and against Severus' arse. "I want you anywhere, you know that. Witnesses don't make it go away." He punctuated his words by licking at the shell of Severus' ear. He groaned as he dipped his tongue inside, knowing it always made the tingling vibrations of his hot sounds send shudders through him. His free hand slid down, palming Severus blatantly through his clothes. "You want it against this desk, Sev? Or shall I make you go hold onto one of those shelves filled with Pince's precious books and fuck you until you forget anything bad that happened here?"

Severus let out a shudder as he tipped his head back and let out a breath. “I…I want both” he breathed he legs coming together as he squirmed as James’ touch finding the action very arousing as his trapped cock pressed against the fabric of his trousers and underwear.

Reached a hand back Severus cupped at James’ groin and rubbed the palm of his hand against it feeling the heat through James’ trouser and managing to angle his hand to undo the button and the zipper so he could stroke the fabric of James’ boxers, the only this now keeping now keeping his cock from being completely exposed. 

"Drop your trousers," James whispered with a voice raspy from pleasure. He rocked into Severus' long, deft fingers a moment more before drawing back so he could watch Severus follow his command. He kicked his own trousers off at the same time, pushing off his robes too but leaving the shirt hanging open on his shoulders. As Severus bent down to step out of his own trousers, James leant in close again, sliding his cock up along Severus' smooth arse-crack. "Bent over and grip the table, press your lovely prick into those books. Be dirty for me."

Severus gave a small nod as he leaned over the desk the gripped onto it being sure to try and keep himself steady and try to not squish his belly in any way. “Is this how you want me Mr Potter?” he asked spreading his legs and rubbing against James’ more with a light hum at the friction.

"You're so bloody sexy," James said, by way of answer, caressing the tight globes of Severus' arse appreciatively before sliding his hands up to exposse Severus' back. He leant down, running his tongue along each sensitive ridge of white scarred skin as it was exposed. "I'm so lucky to have you, let me show you? This is what you like, isn't it? Let me make you feel good?" He was vaguely aware he was babbling as he mouthed Severus' back, reaching around to grasp Severus' hardening cock, which he squeezed, rubbing into the surface of one of the books. Any mess was easily removed but the sheer indecency, the debauched nature of it was making Severus pant with excitement. James couldn't be any happier.

“Oh James” Severus panted as he gripped at the table top and his back arched up to meet James’ lips and tongue as they ran the trails of his scared back. James fingers soon grazed over the middle of his back and over the belt buckle shaped scar and Severus let out a loud gasp, that one had always been the most sensitive out of all of them even though it have healed a long time ago and Severus lowered his back before arching it again still enjoying James’ touch and the feel of his lips on his hot skin.

James reluctantly let go of that throbbing erection in his grasp, instead reaching back to spread Severus' cheeks and slide his cock up and down the crack, up and down. "Put your palms flat on the desk to support yourself and rub your cock against the books," he whispered, knowing the debauched request would only increase his lover's excitement. He mouthed the thickest scar, pursing his lips around it just enough so that he tugged at the sensitive line of skin wetly, making Severus' hips jerk in pleasure.

“Ahh” Severus moaned out before he obeyed and lifting himself off the desk a bit to lay his hands flat against it and move his hips or that his cock rubbed against the books he had previously been reading. “James…I want you to take me now…I want your cock inside me” he panted pushing his arse out to James more wanting to feel his cock slide inside of him.

"Hmm, you sure? You're not just saying that to make me happy?" James breathed, guiding the head of his weeping prick to smear his pre-come across Severus' twitching hole. He was just teasing but part of him wanted to be sure as well. Severus was so hungry for him lately and he just wanted to make sure he wasn't taking advantage. Severus rocked harder into the spread of books at James' touch. "Convince me," James whispered deviously. "Tell me how much you love my cock."

“I want it…I want it so bad it’s driving me crazy” he moaned pushing his hips fasters into the books and swearing he heard the table squeak and move a bit from his movements. “Please…please I want you to put it in my tight arse” he panted reaching a hand back and stroking the length of James’ cock with a shudder. “I really want it James…I really want you.”

James forced himself to stand back then, fumbling for his wand in his robes and casting a quick spell to conjure a thick palm full of lubricant, which he smeared over his cock and then smoothed around Severus' hole. He watched the constant, urgent flexing of those hips, that arse, the way Severus was rocking forwards onto the tip of his toes and quickly slid two fingers inside. They slid in like butter and he groaned at the heat around him. "You open up so easily for me now, so soft inside. What a slutty little hole." He heard Severus' breathing spike and smirked. "You like being slut-shamed, Sev?"

“Y-yes” he breathed as he moved his hips against James penetrating fingers finding it hard to stay still as he listened to the delicious noises that were being made. “I…I’m you little slut…I like when you fuck me with your huge cock…please James. I want you so much…I want you to fuck me so much that I break all the silencing charms with my yells” he panted and moaned as he moved against James’ fingers and clenched around them with every few thrusts. 

"Such a good little slut," James breathed, smoothing more lubricant over his cock before pushing the swollen head against that stretched ring. "Dirty little whore, love it when you're like this." He flexed his hips and panted as that slick heat opened greedily for him. "Push back and take me yourself. I want to watch you swallow me up. You're so greedy, Severus. You want more, don't you? Take it."

Severus shuddered at James’ words as he started to move him hips slow at first before quickly picking up speed and moaning loudly as he used on hand to grip the side of the table. “Ah James…your cock feels so good…feels like I’m melting from the inside!” he panted as his black hair fell from his shoulders and down his back as he tilted his head back with his movements, somehow the though of doing somewhere public where anyone might see them make Severus feel more aroused. 

With a guttural groan James gripped Severus' hips, stilling him for a moment so that he could savour being all the way inside that slick heat. He panted heavily, before letting his hands slide up to caress Severus' back, rocking his body forward. He felt the delicious pull on him, hissed lowly and then slid back in. "So good," he breathed.

Severus let out a low moan at the low movement and swirled his arse up against James with a groan of delight. “James please I want more” he panted reaching a hand back and placing it on James’ lower back to pull him closer to his body.

James laughed softly, breathlessly smoothing the slightly rough surface of his hot palms across Severus' back. He massaged the scarred contours firmly as he punched his hips forward, the swollen head of his cock gliding past the place inside that made Severus' body jack-knife as pleasure ripped through him. "You like that, don't you baby?" James breathed, rolling his hips up, pushing Severus' prick into the smooth surface of the books.

“Oh yes…I like that, give me more!” he moaned as his shuddered around James’ cock. “More…please touch me more. I want you so much James” he breathed turning his head to look at James with pleading lust filled eyes his hair sticking to his face from the heat off his body.

James gave a final groan before drawing back, spreading Severus' cheeks so he could watch that pink hole spasm in hungry desperation when he pulled his cock out. It was open and wanting and Severus cried out in negation.

"Go to the bookshelf," James breathed huskily. He didn't need to tell Severus which one. They both knew he meant the one that had fallen on them back when this had all begun. "Put your hands on the shelves and tell me how to fuck you. Tell me how to make you forget what happened here before."

“I want you to fuck me hard” he panted looked back a James his legs parted. “I want you to fuck me and pull my hair and touch my cock until I’m dripping excitedly on these book” he panted his cock jolting just at the thought. “And I want you to play with my nipples.”

James' breath stuttered at those words, and he stepped closer but did not touch Severus, just watching his hips move as those long pale fingers gripped the bookshelf. James stroked himself as he moved closer, pushing at one of Severus' buttocks to better view that empty, hungry pink entrance.

"Don't let go of the shelf," he said huskily. Reaching around to grip Severus' cock, he squeezed, using his grasp to tug Severus back onto him, burying himself in one deep, long thrust.

Severus let out a loud moan as he threw his head back and gripped at the bookshelf enjoying the fullness of James inside of him. It took only a moment before Severus pushed himself against James more and straighten till his back touched James’ chest feeling the heat of his body above him.

“Fuck me James…please fuck me hard.”

James groaned hungrily, leaning into the deep, slow gyrations of his hips so that he could press his sweaty chest against Severus' sensitive back, caressing the responsive scars with his own skin. He tucked his head into Severus' neck, licking messily, lazily. He steadied himself with one hand on the shelf above Severus', the other sliding down to give Severus' neglected prick a squeeze.

Severus moaned in delight and pushed his prick into James’ hand enjoying the feel of his hand wrapped around him. “Oh James” he panted moving his body back and forth against James enjoying the friction. “Please…I…I want more James…take me.”

James groaned into the salty skin of Severus' neck and sucked, stroking his lover's cock more vigorously, rocking his hips forward so that each deep, firm thrust inside sent Severus rocking right up to the tip of his toes. He pulled away enough that he could look down at that pale skin. The hand that had been resting over Severus' on the shelf slid back now to knot in Severus' hair, fisting firmly and tugging it to the side so he could watch Severus' face as he pressed balls deep inside.

"You like it a little bit rough, Sev?" he breathed heatedly.

“Ah…Fuck yes!” he moaned loudly as he looked at James a deep blush covering his cheeks. “And you do it so well…ah…please do more…I want you to fuck me hand and pull my nipple and hair…oh please” he panted desperately as he grinded up against James his balls touching his.

"Nice and hard?" James groaned, pushing Severus' head so that his cheek rested on the shelf between his hands. He rolled in deep, hissing slowly at the delicious wet drag of heat around his cock, clenching and squeezing him the way he was fisting Severus' own erection. He swept his rough thumb over the tip, massaging pre-emission into the swollen head as his free hand reached around to pluck at a tender nipple. "Not too hard?" he panted softly, his words staggered with ragged breath. "Tell me how to make you cum."

“I…I want to come with you deep inside of me!” he moaned arching his back up to James as he felt the tug on his nipples and the thrusts of James grinding into him. “I want you to go faster! I want to hear you pounding into me as I cum” he said shuddering at his own words and thoughts of James doing all those things to him.

"Yes!" James practically hissed, pinching Severus' nipple hard before reaching up, knotting his fist in that hair again and pulling roughly, slamming deep inside. The hard tip of his leaking cock glided just right over that little dimple of pleasure inside and he felt Severus spasm around his cock, groaning heavily at the sweltering heat. He was melting, burning. The muscles in his forearm ached as he jerked Severus' cock frantically, wanting to feel him spill all over them in the place it had all begun.

"So sexy, watching you, feeling you - in here, where anyone could see. So...so fucking..." He lost his words to a deep guttural snarl of pleasure and rocked in until his hipbones were flush against Severus' arse, Severus' body pinned to the shelves.

“Oh fuck! James!” Severus moaned out loudly as he rocked against the old shelf hearing it give small creaks to the hash moves of the two bodies pinned against it and his insides clenched. “Oh James…fuck…I think I’m going to come…it’s to good I cant stand it!! Please make me come…I want to come with you inside of me”

"Hmmm no," James breathed against his neck. Heat was rolling through his own belly as he relished in the tight, wet heat clenching around him, tugging at him deliciously with each push and pull of his hips. His cock felt tight and huge, pulsing in eagerness for completion. "Don't cum," he panted. "Let me - let me cum in you, then cum in my mouth? Want to taste you. Want to...to watch you...wait for me." Even as he said that, he kept fisting Severus' cock, stroking him with rapid, noisy wet jerks. Severus' body was shaking, writhing, tossing back and forth in an effort to hold back. "Don't cum," James urged him.

“Then…then stop stroking me!” he moaned reaching his hand down to stop James’ rhythmic strokes on his cock feeling it pushing him off the edge. “If you keep stroking me you will make me come faster!” he moaned out loudly still pushing himself back against James and tightening his body around his thrusts.

"No," James groaned, squeezing Severus' cock, twisting his fingers deliciously at the tip. "Take it. Take it and don't you dare cum." He felt Severus clench almost painfully at his words and laughed breathlessly, not realising how much his lover enjoyed being dominated like this. James' stomach tightened and he released Severus' cock in favour of seizing his hair again, tugging his head to the side so that he could watch that flushed, glass-eyed expression as he buried himself in that tight arse. "Going to cum, so good, so...perfect..."

“Please…please hurry James…I don’t think I can take much more” he panted with small moans as his back arched and he looked at James with pleading wanting eyes the hot tightness building in his stomach wanting so badly to cum that he thought he might explode at any moment. “Come James! Come inside of me please!!”

James leant in then and smashed their lips together in an awkward, messy kiss that was mostly a union of groans and spittle. He snapped his hips up a final time, right into Severus' prostate and felt the man shudder and tense in an effort not to spill. James panted against that mouth as his cock spat creamy cum into his lover's body. He shivered against him, legs tingling and he slumped against Severus' back for a moment, relishing in his warmth, in the messy, slick pull as he rocked in and out still of that cum-slicked hole.

After moment, he slid down, spreading Severus' cheeks wide and watching a globule of cum ooze from that pink, stretched hole. He groaned. "So sexy," he panted, "want me to suck you off? Do you want to cum in my mouth?"

“…yes” Severus shuddered. “Yes I…I want to cum…please let me cum” he moaned with a shudder trying desperately to hold back and not come on the shelf in front of him. His prick starting to hurt from the neglect of not having James touching him or fucking roughly.

James smiled, spreading Severus' cheeks wider, squeezing until Severus rocked back into his hands and a trail of cum was dribbling down his thighs. "Turn around for me." When Severus did so, James could see the flush of arousal had spread all over his face, neck and chest, which was heaving with his ragged breaths. He smiled devilishly up at him and parted those thighs slightly so that Severus was forced to lean back against the bookshelf for support. Reaching up, James slid four fingers directly into Severus' sloppy hole. He crooked them to massage his lover's special place inside and dipped his head to breath over his weeping, hard prick at the same time. 

"Hold onto the bookshelf behind you," James panted, punctuating his words by pressing his tongue into Severus' slit.

Severus shuddered as he gripped onto the shelf behind him and he was sure he was cleaving crescent shaped marks in the fin wood with his nail from holding on to tightly but he didn’t care he need/wanted James so much in that moment that it hurt and moved his hips. “Please James…I want to cum…I want to cum in your mouth so bad!” 

James hummed devilishly as his mouth descended, nose pressing into Severus' pubic hair as the sound carried through to the cock in his mouth. He twisted his fingers just right to massage his lover's insides as he sucked firmly, slowly, humming in sheer pleasure. He kept his eyes open and stared up into Severus' enjoying the dark pleasure glistening there.

“Ah fuck! So good!” Severus moaned out pushing his hips forward towards James’ mouth and his body shuddered feeling James’ tongue licking the underside of his prick and he gripped onto the shelf more tightly and his insides clenched around James’ fingers. “More! More…I want more…I can’t last much longer!”

"Hmmmm," James hummed again, sucking his lover's hot, pulsing cock deep into his throat. He choked a little but swallowed around it, twisting his hand again to milk that prostate for everything it had to offer. His own lashes fluttered and he held Severus' gaze staring deep into his vulnerable soul as he dragged him towards his orgasm, ready to swallow everything he had to offer - in the middle of the library.

“Ah James…I cant…I cant hold it” he moaned gripping the shelf and hearing his nails scrap the wood. “Fuck James…I’m going to cum!” he called shuddering and panting heavily his whole body feeling like it was on fire. “James…James!” he called before his hips jolt forwards and he let out a loud cry and he came into James’ hot mouth and his body shuddered at his release.

James swallowed noisily, holding Severus' gaze with each moment. When Severus' breathing began to slow, he drew back licking up any spillage and drawing his fingers back. "Alright?" he asked with a breathless smile, casting a quick cleaning charm over them both. He glanced at the locked door to the restricted section instinctively and rose to his feet, burying his face in his lover's neck.

Severus let out a breath turning his head to James as his darn hair clung to his face. “It…felt really good” he panted lightly as he raised shaky hands and wrapped them around James. “I thought I was going to explode though the way you were telling me to hold back.” 

"Makes it more intense when you finally get to though, doesn't it?" he said softly, kissing Severus' lips quickly, before glancing at the shelves behind him, the shelves he was still pinning his lover to. He smirked devilishly and pinned his wrists to one shelf, leaning in to claim those lips in a lazy, post-coital kiss. "Mmmm, better get the library cleaned up before Pince comes snooping," he mused, their lips still close. "You and Hayley need rest too before tomorrow's exam."

“I think you are right about that. But I think I will have a bath first before I jump into bed with you. There is only so much a cleaning charm can do” he said kissing James’ lightly before slipping out of his hold and moving to pick up his clothes from the floor and slip his boxers back on before stopping for a moment and looking down at his chest. “…oh my god!”

James' head shot up from where he was putting the books away in a panic, which subsided when he realised where Severus' mortified cry had come from. He spelled the books clean and then sent them back to their respective shelves with a flick of his wand before approaching his lover, pulling his own clothes back on. "Sorry, I tugged them a lot, I s'pose," he said sheepishly. "Not sore are they?" At Severus' horrified expression he sighed. "Don't get upset, it just means your body is getting ready. Mum said it might happen, it doesn't...freak me out or anything, here." He handed Severus a tissue out of his pocket. "Alright?"

“No! There is fucking milk coming out of my nipples!” he half yelled as he took the tissue trying to wipe it away. “Oh Merlin it’s going to leave wet patches on my school shirt. Good thing I can cover it with my robe” he said putting the tissue down and proceeding to put on his trouser and then his shirt before looking at James. “…and they are a bit sore but I don’t think that’s your fault…they just hurt sometimes” he said glancing away with a blush feeling embarrassed at the confession. 

James smiled affectionately and lifted his wand. "You're a wizard, or did you forget?" he chuckled, casting a quick drying charm. He flushed brightly at the sight of the tiny bead of moisture clinging to his lover's nipple as Severus pulled his shirt on. He was buttoning it up and James could not help but look. It was compelling somehow. When Severus caught him looking however, his blush darkened.

"Sorry," he muttered apologetically. "It's just sort of...I dunno..." Makes me want to lick it was probably a bad thing to add, so he said nothing.

“Well it’s embarrassing so stop staring” he said quickly pulling on his robs and doing them up feeling his shirt starting to dampen slightly. “I really hate this…I want to go back to are room and have a bath and get clean” he said helping to move a few of the books back to the shelf and putting them in any place he could see a gap before blushing and not looking at James’ “…I don’t like the thought of using that breast pump thing…why couldn’t it all just stay inside me?”

"It's part of it I guess," James said with a small shrug. "Look, I'm the only other person who will know or see, and I don't think it's weird so don't worry about it." He smiled brightly, wrapping his arms around Severus and squeezing him gently until his lover looked up at him guardedly. "I just spent a good deal of effort destressing you - so don't get wound up again before bed, yeah?"

Severus let out a sigh. “Alright then, I will try not to” he said as he looked up at James feeling strangely calm whenever he held him in his arms like this. “You want to share my bath with me when we get back to the room? I could also use some of that soothing cream on my back if you don’t mind. She’s been moving so much lately that it’s starting to really hurt my spine” he said lowering his head as he stroked his swollen belly and starting to feel tired after the long day and the amazing sex they had just had.

James smirked wickedly. "I think the moving around you've been doing isn't exactly helping the pains," he mused. But nodded. Any excuse for any kind of intimacy with his boyfriend was welcome. 

They got a suspicious look from Madam Pince on their way out but James only beamed at her as they walked out and made the rest of the way back to Severus' room in silence. They were both tired and lethargic after that release of tension. They didn't really speak again until they were getting undressed for the bath. James blinked as he was caught staring again and flushed darkly as Severus' next words.

“You like the view?” he asked raising a brow as he looked at James having caught his staring at his chest again. “…do you…want to taste it?” he asked with a blush and turned his head away not able to look at James, embarrassed by his own words.

James' cheeks were burning. Severus MUST have been relaxed to be so forward about something he found so embarrassing but...maybe Severus was so embarrassed because he'd wanted to ask James to and had been worried he would think it was weird. It struck him just how far Severus had come that he could trust James to ask him something like this.

With his gaze flicking up once more to search Severus', he stepped closer to him, sliding their lips together. "You want me to?" he breathed as their kiss broke.

“If…if you want to” he said shyly feeling weird to look at James as he blushed an almost wanted to cover his chest by managed to hold back from the action. “…I know you have been staring at my chest for a while, especially recently…so I don’t mind if you want…well…you know.” 

James swore his face would never return to normal colour. "I just... I'm curious," he whispered sheepishly, "and it's you and...well I want to try everything with you." He took a step back to run his fingers feather-light down Severus' torso, thumbs flickering across the flushed nipples. With a final brief glance, he dipped his head and swiped his tongue over one of the stiffened peaks.

Severus blushed and closed his eyes unable to look at James and what he was doing to him. The sensation felt strange, he wasn’t used to James touching his nipples so gentle and licking them in such a way before he felt a small drop of milk escape his nipple and move down over his chest and he was still unable to open his eyes and look at James, his cheeks feeling heated.

James' breath caught in his throat as he sucked gently, laving the flesh with his tongue before drawing back, the odd sweet taste permeating his senses. The room had filled with steam from the bath and it only made Severus look more striking. If he hadn't only recently cum he would've been hard already. Smirking, he licked his lips. "I knew it, every part of you tastes good," he said, before sliding their lips together so Severus could share the taste. "Lets get in that bath or we'll never get to bed," he chuckled softly into the kiss.

“O-okay” he said with a light blush before touching his lips and the light sweet taste that was there before moving over the bath with James and climbing in in front of him and leaning back against him and letting out a relaxed sigh as the warm water and bubbles soothed his back

After there bath had ended and both had dried off Severus climbed into bed not bothering to put on his usual night shirt as James had seen him naked many times before. “Come on James…get into bed” he smiled stroking James side of the bed as he waited for him to get in beside him. 

***

Finally it was their last exam. Potions Theory exam. One more exam until freedom, as he had told Severus that morning. They were lining up outside the Great Hall now, waiting for the doors to open so they could file in to their last torture session. "It'll be alright," he said, rubbing Severus' arm gently where they stood among their friends. His mother had taken baby Draco that morning so they could all sit the exam together and so here they all stood, quiet and dealing with the stress in their own way. 

Severus was deathly pale and James was so busy trying to get him to say something that he forgot to worry about his own result. "Come on, you're the best at potions ever, don't worry." He glanced around, seeing Evans looked similarly pale, Remus was nose-deep in a book, as was Narcissa and Sirius was sitting beside her, swinging his legs as if he could care less. Peter had not yet showed his face since their return to school - he hoped it would remain so.

"Here," James said softly to Severus, confident that everyone was sufficiently distracted. He stepped closer to Severus and dipped a hand into his robe pocket. "I got this for you, I wanted to give it to you when Hayley was born but...maybe it'll bring you luck?" He pulled out a small velvet black pouch and pushed it into Severus' hand.

He watched with bated breath as those dark eyes stared into him, stunned at the offering, before eventually looking down, to where long fingers were tugging the pouch open. A glittering, slender silver chain dropped into Severus' hand. It was long, shimmered like dragon scales and on the end hung a thick pendant.

Severus looked at the pendant for a long time not sure what he should say or if he could even manage words. The pendant at the end of the chain was small and silver like the chain but in the centre sat a gem with colours that moved and seemed to dance together, a red one, green and a small pink one.

Severus smiled thinking that it was like there little family. James’ Gryffindor red, his Slytherin green and Hayley’s little pink light. “James…this is…it’s beautiful, but you really didn’t have to go buying me something” he said as he looked a James before looking at necklace again. “It must have cost you a fortune.”

James smiled with boyish awkwardness and delight. "Do you like it though? I... I had it made. Mum has one like this for me and Dad. It's sort of tradition but Mum loves hers and..." He reached up, supporting the little pendant in his palm even as Severus held the chain. "The gems glow to represent all of us. They burn bright when we're happy." He smiled at the sight of all three lights glowing brilliantly. "Is it...is it ok?"

Severus looked at James for a long time before speaking. “I…I do, I really like it” he said giving James a warm smile. “This…this is the most wonderful gift anyone has ever given me…I really like it, thank you so much James” he said feeling all warm inside as he looked at James and the to the pendant before lowering it into James hand and turning around and lifting his hair up. “Would you put it on for me?”

James beamed. Severus was always so aware of what others might think of them together but right now, he didn't seem to care. James quickly fastened it in place. The clasp glowed brightly. "It can't be broken or forcibly torn away. Only you can take it off," James said quietly as Severus turned back to him. He looked down at where the pendant rested against his boyfriend's chestbone. "Think it'll bring you luck?" he said softly, feeling oddly mawkish all of a sudden. He glanced up to meet those dark eyes.

“Well I guess we will have to wait and see if it does bring me luck” he smiled as he touched the pendant on his chest and the green light seem to shine just a little brighter than before. “You think once this exam is over we could go back to your house? I would love to go back and just relax in the garden…and maybe also have a little sleep then. I’ve been really tired lately Hayley keeps moving into the wrong place and making it hard for me to get comfortable and get any sleep.”

James glanced down to Severus' stomach and stroked the swollen ball with the backs of his knuckles. "I'd like that - Mum and Dad would too. We won't have any classes after this anyway. We won't even have to be here until graduation." He smiled wryly. "Wonder if you'll still have a bump when we graduate. Seems like she's determined to come early. I can't wait to meet her..."

"Pettigrew, Peter!" Came the invigilator's voice and James glanced up to see that half their queue had vanished into the hall, including Sirius, Narcissa, Evans and Remus. He looked around. The sound of his once-friend's name set him on edge in a way he never thought it would. With no proof, no one had been able to legally remove Peter's permission from the wards. Once students had attended over 75% of the year's classes, if they'd committed no proven acts of foul play, they were legally allowed to take their exams on school grounds. It seemed their classmate had not returned for this last one though, which probably made sense. Though the thought still filled James with unease.

Where was he? Had Riddle killed him?

After a moment of no answer, the portly, balding invigilator just shrugged and called, "Potter, James!"

James looked to Severus again and stroked his belly a final time. "Wish me luck. Wait for me at the door when we finish, yeah? We'll go to your room for the essentials and then floo home from Dumbledore's office." He punctuated his words with a brief kiss and then strode into the hall passed a disapproving invigilator and awestruck classmates.

“Good luck” he said with a smile before the invigilator started to call names again and one by one students started to file into the great hall before Severus name was called and he walked in as well and seemed to feel every eye staring at him and making him feel uneasy as he scratched at his arm lightly before taking his seat and looking down at the wooden desk waiting for the exam to start and feeling Hayley moving around and kicking a foot into his side.

The exam was difficult, there was no escaping it. It was the NEWT Potions Theory Examination and the invigilators were pacing through the aisles between desks, watching the students scribbling frantically across their test papers. They were an hour and a half in. Forty five minutes to go and James waited for the closest invigilator to pass before glancing to his right where Severus was seated two desks away. His face was twisted in a pained expression but his hand was still moving frantically across the bottom of his parchment, as if hurrying to finish.

Snape took deep breaths as he scribbled franticly on his parchment and gripped at the side of his desk his parchment rolling up and moving every time he exhaled feeling a sharp pain in his stomach now and then and wishing whatever Hayley was doing in him she would stop it. ‘Hayley please stop that fucking hurts!!’ he screamed in his mind as he gritted his teeth and gripped tightly at his quill stopping his writing for a moment before quickly continuing then the pain died down for a second before coming back again. ‘Oh fuck! I can’t be having contractions can I?! NO! I have to finish this exam! Please don’t come yet!’ he yelled as sweat started to bead his face and he tried desperately to get his exam done, this was the one subject he knew he could pass with know problem he just had to finish it.

Breathing more deeply Severus tried to concentrate on the parchment in front of him before a sharp contraction hit him and he let out a small yell of pain before quickly biting into his bottom lip to keep himself from yelling any further.

James frowned and glanced up for an invigilator. They were nowhere near though. When they made their way back up, surely they would see Severus was in pain? But they passed once, twice, both of them and didn't noticed. James saw Severus flip his test parchment over to hastily continue toward the end and that's when he realised - whatever pain Severus was in, he wanted to finish the test. Needed to. Potions was...his thing, his passion.

James slumped in his chair, defeated by reason and turned back to his own test with gritted teeth. Severus would never forgive him if he ruined this for him. He knew Severus was still reserved about a life with him, a life with Hayley even and while James knew Severus would fall in love with Hayley the second he saw her, he also knew that Severus would need something else beyond him and Hayley whatever happened. Severus needed his Potions NEWT. 

It's probably those braxton thingies that the Healer mentioned anyway, he tried to convince himself. Mum said even men get them, it's to tell the body that the baby is nearly ready. Yes, that was probably it. He glanced to Severus again, seeing that his fingers, clenched around his quill had eased slightly. Only 20minutes left of the test and Severus always finished faster than everyone else in mock tests. James focussed on his own paper, hurrying toward the end himself.

Severus was gritting his teeth so hard now he was afraid that he might hit gum at any second but at least that would take his attention away from the pain in his stomach. He was half way down the other side of his parchment he could bare the pain a little longer he needed to finish the exam he wasn’t going to fail on the one he really cared about.

Severus was sweating so much now that he took a second to remove his robe feeling like he might pass out from the heat if the pain didn’t get him first. As another contraction hit he gripped at the table and his quill again and sure her heard a defiant snap from his quill but he was sure he could still finish even with only half a quill and he quickly continued when the contraction started to ease knowing her would only have a shot time before the next one and luckily he was almost down anyway.

James chewed the end of his quill as he struggled to concentrate on his paper and to find the right answer to the question. All hope was lost, however as an odd slow trickling sound broke the silence of the hall. James glanced up in the direction of the noise to see Severus' pale face now burning a dark red, his quill laid down on his test paper - his completed test paper from the look of things. But that thought was quickly rushed away by the rush of what happened next.

Two of the invigilators darted over to Severus, looking panicked. 

"Goodness!" The balding man cried as the scrawny middle-aged woman beside him took Severus' test paper. "I jested that you were about to burst but I didn't think that - hurry up then, we need to get you to a healer!"

“I had to…finish my test” he said pointing to the parchment in the invigilators hand as he took deep breaths refusing to be little himself by yelling in front of the other students some of which had stopped writing and were now whispering.

“Come along lad lets get you to the hospital wing” the bolding invigilator said as he took Severus hand and helped his to stand his trousers completely soaked though and he was moved down the hall and towards the door.

Severus stopped a few times as he grit his teeth trying now to yell at the pain but a few times the noise escaped and travelled around the hall, he wasn’t sure if he would make it to the hospital wing. The pain was so intense he found it hard to walk.

“James…I want James.” He said though gritted teeth as he gripped the invigilators hand and let out a very audible yell that echoed around the great hall.

James was already in his seat but the female invigilator was pressing down hard on his shoulder. Severus whirled to look at them both as the woman said to James, "Your test is incomplete. If you leave now, Mr Potter, you will fail your Potions NEWT." 

James stared, looking between her and Severus. "I don't give a shit! I have to go with him!" he snapped, struggling out of her grip. She held tight.

"Watch your language, Mr Potter. Now, is that your final answer? There are other students in here that deserve to finish their NEWTs."

“Let him go you old cow!” Lily yelled as she stood her chair scrapping against the stone floor. “Severus and his baby are a lot more important than some stupid exam” she said standing up straight and starting right at the women.

“Yeah let him go! No man should have to miss the birth of his kid and Dumbledore will understand and probably let him re-sit the exam anyway!” Sirius said stand as well a few seats in front of them as Severus let out a gasp and was ushered out through the great oak doors and into the corridor.

“You have to let him go!” even Narcissa yelled knowing exactly what Severus was in for and knowing he would need and want someone there with him.

The woman bristled. "That is enough! Any further disturbance and you will all be failed for cheating! No talking in examination time. Back to your tests!" With this, she looked back to James. "It is your decision, Mr Potter. Do you wish to submit a half-finished test?"

James didn't even have to look at Severus for reassurance, he picked up his own test paper and handed it to her. "I was more three-quarters finished. You never know, I might get every single question on it right so far and still pass by the scrape of my teeth." He flashed the woman a smile of smugness and swept past her, snatching up his and Severus' bags as he headed to join him at the door. 

"You alright?" he asked him softly as the doors of the Great Hall closed behind them. "You want to lean on me? Can you walk alright?" His mother and Narcissa had said that it might take a while for him to progress but then again, it might not. It was different with every...parent.

“It hurt! It hurts a fucking lot!” Severus yelled as he took James’ hand not wanting to hold onto the invigilators hand any longer than he had to. “Oh god I want her out…I want her out a lot if she is going to hurt me this much James” he said with tears starting to run down his cheeks from the sheer pain of his contraction before stopping in there walk down the corridor and grabbing James’ shoulder and bending over himself as he let out a loud cry of pain.

James nodded, lost for what to do. He shrank their bags and pocketed them so that he could pull Severus' arm round his shoulder. "Can you make it to Dumbledore's office?" He couldn't cast any charms on Severus in the final trimester but he felt like he had to ask, had to do something. He felt so helpless. He took most of Severus' weight onto him and moved him as quickly as possible toward Dumbledore's Office, the only place with a floo. "Hold on, we'll be there soon and then Mum and the Healer will take care of you."

“They don’t know…there don’t know what’s happening the healers won’t be there” he said quickly as he panted not liking be moved at all but knew that he had to be is he wanted to have the baby somewhere safe and comfortable. “James it hurts…I can’t make it!” he called gripping onto James tightly and dreading the thought of even raising a single foot to climb the steps that lead to Dumbledore’s office.

"You forgot one of the most important members of the Potter family," James said softly, trying to hide the panic. "Nibbles?" he called without even stopping. With a small pop, the tiny elf appeared, bowing low. "Master James, sir!" she squeaked, but before she could say another word, James cut across him.

"Nibbles, go to Mum and tell her we'll be through in a minute. Tell her it's time. Get everything ready and get the Healer there. Quick!"

Nibbles' huge eyes flared with understanding and she vanished with another pop. 

"See? Potters are always prepared," he said with a small, nervous laugh as he helped Severus to the Headmaster's office. Not far now. "Just hold on, then you can lay down somewhere safe and warm."

“I don’t think I will make it that far” he said gritting his teeth and using his free to rest under his belly and run at it hoping to remove some of the pain, not that it actually worked. “Fuck this hurts!” he yelled into the empty halls as they turned the corner and saw Dumbledore’s office in sight.

“James…it hurts so much…I feel sick…and dizzy…AUGH!!” Severus let out a yell at a very big and close contraction and didn’t know how much further he could walk or how low Hayley would stay inside before she started to make her escape.

James stopped at that pained sound and gripped Severus' shoulders. "Lean into me," he murmured softly, grateful that their fellow students were all either in classes or in exams. It gave Severus more privacy. "Just lean on me and breathe through it, yeah? Just breathe and when it's passed we'll go through that door and go home." He stroked Severus' hair out of his sweaty face and tried to school his own features to hide the anxiety he felt burning a hole in his chest.

“I…I want to go how now” Severus wept hating how pathetic he was sounding as he leaned on James but he didn’t care in that moment the pain was so unbearable and everything seemed to be happening so fast, maybe he should have stopped doing his exam when he felt the pains start then he would be back at the Potter house right now screaming there and leaning over a soft bed as he gripped sheets. 

"Come on," James said softly, helping him the last few feet to the office. "Chocolate Frog," he said to the statue and then they were on the moving staircase. Not long now. 

Dumbledore was not in his office, as was usual these days, but they had permission to use the floo in his absence. It was all arranged. "You first," James said, helping Severus into the fireplace and pressing a handful of floo powder into his hand. "Mum and Dad will be waiting for you. I'll be right behind you."

Severus gave a nod before calling out for the Potter Mansion and throwing the floo powder down in the fire place and feeling his navel get yanked at and his head spinning as he flew through the floo network before landing in the Potter living room and stumbled out to grab onto the arm of one of the soft chairs and letting out a yell wishing he hadn’t taken the floo as it made his feel 10 times worse that before.

By the time James appeared in the lounge, Severus was already out of sight. He frowned, staring around his empty lounge only to find his father hovering awkwardly in the hallway. 

"The healer and your mother have taken him upstairs," he said with a nervous smile, stumbling stiff-limbed into the nearest chair and pouring himself a shot of firewhisky. "He'll be waiting for you. Good luck, son."

James nodded jerkily, breathing heavily as he dashed passed his father and bolted up the stairs to the direction he could heard voices.

 

“AUGHHH!” Severus yelled belt over the side of the bed having already been stripped down and put into a night gown. “This really hurts! When is she going to come out!” Severus yelled as he gripped at the bed sheets and Mrs Potter gently stroked at him back waiting for her son to arrive and take over.

“Don’t worry dear, I’m sure it wont be long now” Mrs Potter said trying to sound reassuring and to put a little confidents into Severus his shoulders shaking from the pain and effort of just trying to not pass out.

James burst into the room, panic making his heart and breathing run ragged. He stared frantically from his mother to Severus, approaching the bed, wringing his hands, not sure what to do. "Where's the healer?" he asked quickly.

"She had to go back for the essentials. She'll be here shortly," Mrs Potter said. "Come here and give Severus some support instead of flapping about." She let go of Severus' hand so that James could grasp it, patting her son's shoulder reassuringly before crossing the room to set out the moses basket.

"Are you...?" James stopped short then. He didn't want to ask if Severus was alright, because he clearly wasn't. He bit the inside of his mouth and instead murmured, "I'm here."

“I hate you! You fucking did this to me!!” he yelled squeezing James’ hand so tight he thought he might break a few bones in his hand and he was okay with thought in his mind. If he had to be in pain James might as well be to. “And no I’m not fucking alright what a very stupid question you were about as-AUGH!” he yelled turning his gaze away from James to plant his face into the soft sheets as he yelled and rocked back and forth on his feet finding it somehow help slightly.

James winced at the ire directed his way but grit his teeth against it, rubbing Severus' back firmly despite it. His mother had told him a few things he could do to help. He slid his hand down further and rubbed in determined circles. "There?" he asked, ignoring Severus' insults. He kept moving his massaging hand until Severus gave a cry of pained relief. "There?" he asked then, smiling slightly.

“Yes…there…it feels a little better” he panted his face still wet with sweat. “I feel…so hot though and it really hurts…why wont she come out” he wept as he climb up onto the bed still in his kneeling position as he gripped at the sheets and let out a well the pendant James gave him still swinging from him neck and his pegasi bracelet on and flashing wildly. 

James continued to rub, feeling otherwise useless. "She might not right away," he said. "The Healer will be here soon. Maybe she can give you something for the pain?" He looked at the position Severus was in, awkwardly on his knees and gripping the headboard. "Just do what you need to do. Breathe slowly, yeah? Keep calm."

“I’m…I’m trying but it hurts so much!” he said moving to lie on his side and take deep breathes as he tried to breath though the pain that was taking over his whole body and feeling like he was being kicked in the gut.

“James…I want Hayley here now…I don’t want to feel like this anymore” he whimpered as James rubbed at his back.

"I know," James said softly, leaning in and kissing Severus' cheek, smoothing his hair back from his sweaty cheek. "I wish I could do this for you." He stopped massaging his boyfriend's back just to tie his hair back into a loose ponytail getting the hair away from his face and neck. "There, better?" he said softly, getting only a nod in answer as he resumed his massage.

After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened and the Healer they recognised bustled into the room, setting her kit bag down and approaching the bed. "Now then, Mr Snape, how are we doing?" she asked, firmly but kindly. She drew her wand. "Will you let me cast a monitoring spell to see how both you and baby are doing?

“Fine do whatever you want just get her out” he said half glaring at her and half pleading for some sort of relief to end all of this.

“He is in a lot of pain” Mrs Potter said from a chair near the basket she had set up knowing this was something James needed to be involved in not her and know the exam ended a while ago and Narcissa and Sirius were probably in the nursery now with Draco and listening to Severus screaming the house down. “Is there anything at you could give him at this point to relieve some of the pain?” she asked.

The Healer nodded thoughtfully, casting her diagnostic spells to see how both parent and child were doing. A panel of disembodied lights appeared above the bed, one pink, one green - pink for Hayley, green for Severus. Both were steady and strong and a few other colours wound between them. James assumed the healer saw good there for she looked satisfied.

"Let me just examine your progress to see what type of relief I can give you," she said, stepping up closer to the man on all fours on the bed. "Would you lift your nightshirt for me? I need to see. Your body opens and dilates as a woman's might thanks to the potion you took to conceive. I need to be sure it's working correctly and has formed a birth canal in your rectum." When Severus didn't move she prompted again professionally, politely, "would you lift your nightshirt for me?"

“I don’t want to” Severus panted feeling tired already from the strain on his body the painful contractions shooting though his. “I don’t have the energy to move…it hurts to much” he said letting out a moan before gritting his teeth and waiting for the contraction to end before turning his gaze to look at James almost pleading for his help.

"If you don't do it then the pain will continue," the Healer began firmly, but James had already leant over and eased Severus' nightshirt up over his hips. The Healer held his gaze for a moment before leaning in to examine her patient. James had to look away as she did so and moved further up to stroke Severus' shoulder encouragingly.

“James…I don’t like this” he wept turning his head until he was able to touch James with his head and his body gave a large shudder. “The book said it would hurt…but I didn’t think it would hurt this much…I want it to end” he panted as a few strands of hair started to stick to his hot face and his hands gripped and released the sheets from time to time and wishing the healer would hurry up and just do her job.

James didn't know what else to do so he stroked Severus' shoulder, smoothing back a rogue strand of hair that had escaped from his ponytail. He glanced back to see the Healer examining Severus' backside.

After a few moments she stood up and smoothed Severus' nightshirt back down brusquely. "The potion has done its job and made a canal for your daughter to be born from - you're not fully dilated though. You have enough time for some more pain relief." With that she pressed her wand into the small of Severus' back and muttered simply. The instant relief of pain made Severus' body sag.

"How long will it be?" James asked, helping Severus to move onto his side so he was more comfortable, able to relax. His mother had come to the bedside now and was sliding a pregnancy pillow around Severus for comfort, plumping his pillows and fussing.

"Hard to say," the Healer said gently. "Anything can happen with male pregnancies. He's at most danger from haemorrhaging as the womb has to detach and pass along with the baby. But he seems to be doing nicely. The canal might dilate rapidly, only time will tell. It might be 10 minutes, it might be 10 hours." She smiled at him and then at Severus. "I will just go and measure out the correct dosage the internal healing draught for you. Call me if you need me."

With that she popped back out of the room, closing the door behind her. James sat back in his seat beside Severus' bed, still slumped half on it and stroking the back of Severus' hand as his mother fussed around him. "Better now with the pain relief?" he asked softly.

“…yeah” Severus said letting out a breath as looked at James his eyes looking a little drowsy. “Feeling…a little fuzzy now…or something…still hurts a little though” he admitted but gave James a smile as he shifted on the bed and moved a finger on the hand James was stroking to give his palm a light stroke back. “You left the exam…you studied so hard…why didn’t you stay and finish it?” he asked wrapping his thighs around a large pillow finding the position more comfortable.

James couldn't help it, he gave a small laugh and leant in, grasping Severus' hand with two of his and brushed his stubbly mouth across his knuckles. "You silly git, you and Hayley are the world to me. I care more about you than Potions." He smiled at him with boyish delight. "Sev, I studied hard, yeah but Potions isn't my passion, I don't love it like you do. I don't need to prove myself in it like you do, because you love it so much. I could fail it and still be the happiest man in the world because...I want to be here for you and Hayley, don't want to miss a second."

"Spoken just like a Potter," Abigail Potter chuckled, patting Severus on the arm. "We'll be proud of you even if you fail to get a single NEWT."

James laughed. "Well, I got 70% of the questions done. If I get most of them right I'll scrape a pass on the written and hopefully my performance on the practical will carry me into an Exceeds Expectations at least." He met Severus' eyes again. "I saw you scribbling frantically - bet you get an Outstanding even though you were in labour through half of it. You'd know every answer to that question with your eyes shut."

Severus gave a light tired laugh and gave James’ hand a small squeeze. “I don’t think I would have done well doing that…and I hope that can read some of it. I was gripping my poor quill so hard it snapped and I left big dots of ink on it” it said looking at the sheets and hoping he hadn’t done too much damage to his answers before he let out a sigh and shirted about on the bed again. “I hope I wont be in a labour for 10 hours…I don’t like this as it is…and I didn’t like my waters breaking in the great hall” he said turning bright red at the thought that the whole hall had heard it, he would never be able to live that moment down.

James nodded, stroking his thumbs over the back of Severus' hand thoughtfully. "I can imagine. But you'll only have to see most of those people once more, at Graduation. Once that's gone, you'll never have to see them all again. That moment will cease to exist." He smiled again, reassuringly this time and glanced at the clock. How long would they be here?

Time passed. He watched the hands move. The Healer returned to check every half hour, for two hours, much to Severus' growing frustration. James knew he hated being weak in front of people and didn't know how to comfort him. 

"I'll go and make us some tea," his mother said as the Healer came in once more, two and a half hours after they'd arrived. Severus was tired, irritable and was now sitting with his eyes resolutely closed against the goings on. James stroked his hand still and watched as the Healer examined Severus again beneath his nightshirt. Her bright smile made James sit up a little straighter. A sign of progress?

"Looks like she's ready. You're fully dilated. Are you still getting contractions regularly?" She looked up at the diagnostic lights above the bed, studying them.

“Oh yes…things are stopping me from relaxing or getting any sort of rest…I’m so tired” Severus said his voice shaking slightly at his last words having not got much sleep in the last few days thanks to Hayley always sitting in the wrong place and making it impossible for Severus to sleep. “Did you…want to go tell Sirius? I heard him and Narcissa arrive at the house hours ago…you can go tell them Hayley is finally on the way if you want and then come back” he said looking at James before wincing as he rolled onto his back to find a better position to get comfortable and make it easier of the healer to get her out when the healer started demanding that he push. 

James felt panicked briefly. "I...I don't want to go," he admitted. "I don't want to miss anything. Mum will tell them when she comes back." He let go of Severus' hand to help him get into position, pushing some more pillows behind his back so he could sit with his chin into his chest as the Healer had advised. "Bollocks, this is really happening, isn't it? She's really going to be here soon?" He was smiling and shaking with nerves, uncertain what to do with himself.

The Healer smiled up at him and Severus, spreading thick, self-cleaning towels between Severus' open legs. The funny thing about pain, James thought, was that Severus seemed to be able to let go of his reservations about his personal space when suffering it. He stroked Severus' hand again, gripping it tightly at the thought of how much pain he must be in, for him to allow the Healer to touch him and look at him.

"Not long at all," she agreed, but then one of the lights above fluctuated and she frowned. "Little Hayley Potter is in some stress. We'll have to move this along. Are you ready?" 

At that moment, Mrs Potter came back in the room, hastily setting the tea tray down when she saw the position they were in. "Goodness!" she gasped, coming in to pat Severus' knee gently. "All ready?"

“I…I scared” Severus admitted as he sat up into position and feeling a defiant shift in his lower body. “And Hayley’s scared to…and I’m tired I don’t want to push” he panted but found he had know choice as he felt a strong contraction run through him and he let out a yell as he gripped James hand before giving a small push and then panting heavily his body shaking from the action.

“You are going to have to push harder than that I’m afraid dear or we are not going to get her out” the healer said as she looked up at Severus. “And if you have energy to yell then you should be putting it into pushing. Screaming isn’t helping anyone” she said as Severus gave her an awkward glare.

Severus wanted to hex the healer for that comment but another contraction soon followed and Severus pushed though it as he gripped James’ hand and pulled it up closer to his chest, the pain was so intense he though he might pass out.

James winced. "Hurt me," he said. "It's fine. Push through it. Chin on your chest like Narcissa said," he offered, squeezing Severus' hand reassuringly. His mother had hold of the other hand and the Healer was between Severus' legs, all modesty forgotten as another contraction hit and the magical lights signalling Hayley's heartbeat piqued at alarming height. 

James looked to the Healer. "Is she alright? Is Severus alright?"

"Severus' most critical time will be after the baby is born. We need to get your daughter out now, she is very stressed," the Healer said, looking up to Severus. "On the next contraction do everything you can to push down into your backside, understand? One deep breath and push down."

Severus just gave a nod, he had know energy to speak or even push put he knew he had to or he would loose Hayley and he wouldn’t let that happen. James’ had been so excited to meet her for the last 9 month the whole Potter family had and he wasn’t going to loose her for this one reason.

As Severus sat up a little straighter with his head down another contraction washed over his and he pushed with the little energy he had left refusing to stop pushing until he was sure that Hayley was out and safe.

James watched helplessly, floundering in a sea of overwhelming emotion, fear and guilt as Severus listened to the Healer's instructions, gave several great pushes, pausing only to gasp for air between them. Then, Severus gave a groan of torn anguish, squeezing his, James' hand until it throbbed, legs tensing in the bed. James knew it had happened even before the Healer said, "we've got her head! That's it! Well done Severus! Just a little more, I'll help you."

She shifted forwards, evidently holding the head. James felt sick - in both a good and bad way. He turned to Severus and leant in, pressing his face to his sweaty cheek. "I'm so proud of you. So proud. Come on, just a little more."

"That's it," the Healer agreed. "One more big push and your baby girl will be here."

"Come on Severus," Abigail Potter said softly, squeezing his hand. "Come on, just a little more then you can rest."

Severus took in quick sharp breathes as he tried to focus on the task that was in front of him, he just had to keep going a little longer, she was almost out and would soon be safe with the healer making sure there was nothing wrong with her. Taking deep breathes Severus prepared for the next contraction and as it flooded over him he pushed hard and grip his teeth with the effort and only vaguely hearing James, Abigail and the healer telling him that he was doing well and to keep going. 

James didn't want to know how the Healer was helping, he didn't want to know but he saw her lined face twist with concentration, her shoulders and arms moving. Suddenly, Severus cried out again, then his body sagged. 

"Severus?" James asked, voice dry and raspy. Severus' eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling with deep, heavy breaths. Then, a tiny, pitiful cry pierced the air and he glanced back down to see the Healer holding up a tiny body. He wondered if she had been wiped clean because she didn't have a splatter of blood or anything on her. Her skin was a little blue but quickly turning pink, tiny face screwed up in displeasure. 

James' insides clenched. His throat went dry and he squeezed Severus' hand impossibly tight. 

"She's beautiful," his mother cooed, stepping forwards with a soft pink blanket and helping the Healer wrap the baby snugly inside after applying a nappy. "Well done both of you."

James could only watch in shock, in awe, unable to move. Then his mother was at his side, offering the tiny pink bundle to him. "Severus darling, she is stunning. Thank you for my lovely grand daughter." 

"James smiled, reaching up with his free hand to stroke Hayley's tiny fist. Her cries eased as warmth filled her cheeks, but as James turned his head to look at Severus, everything stopped. Severus' face was white, his eyes were still closed and blood was pooling rapidly between his legs on the sheets.

"What's happening?" he gasped, looking from Severus to the Healer in horror. The Healer shook her head, moving hurriedly up to the top of the bed to tip a generous dose of healing draught down Severus' throat.

"He's haemorrhaging - I was afraid of that. The potion is meant to help everything detach safely and come out with everything else. Then the birth canal fades. But the womb has done some damage in detaching. He's losing blood rapidly," she massaged Severus' throat to help him swallow.

James looked down into Severus' face, confused, lost, afraid. "No," he breathed. "No, he's...he hasn't even seen Hayley. He's fine - he was fine a second ago!"

Hayley let out a cry at James’ raised voice her cries echoing around the room as Abigail gently bounced her trying to calm her down as the healer moved out Severus bed quickly trying to do what she could to stop the bleeding.

“It would have been better if he was in St. Mungo’s where there are other healers to help” she said drawing her wand and grabbing potions working at great speeds as James seemed to stand frozen at the side of the bed as he looked at Severus. The happiest day of his life had very quickly turned into the worst days of his life before he looked at the light above Severus and watching it flicker weakly before going completely out and showing know signs of life.

The Healer muttered a hasty stabilising spell and the monitoring charms above showed all of Severus' vitals moving in slow motion, giving her time to act. She crossed to the other side of the bed, pressing a small vial into the inside of Severus' elbow, where it seemed to attach somehow. She then turned to James, a similar vial in hand.

"Lift your shirt, we'll be needing some blood off you, Mr Potter," she said hastily. James nodded, rolling his sleeve up and offering her his forearm. She gave him a small, reassuring smile as she pressed the vial into the crease of his elbow. "These are marvellous - they transform blood into the suitable type, much more substantial and quick than a blood replenishing potion. Your blood will just appear in him while I fix the damage inside. You may feel weak and dizzy. Please do not move."

She was already turning back to Severus while James was shaking his head, white-faced. "He can have it all if he needs it," he whispered shakily. The healer glanced up from her spell work over Severus' stomach, where a glowing web of spells was being knit together over the skin she'd exposed. "I won't need all that, just enough to stabilise him. The womb did some damage when it detached. I just have to help the potion I gave him work. Quickly now, prepare yourself, you'll feel a bit of a sting."

Bit of a sting may have been right, James couldn't say. He felt numb. He didn't feel a sting, he felt nothing physical at all as his blood began to bubble into being, transferred from the vial dug into his arm into its twin on Severus'. He saw it appearing in the vial on Severus' skin, watched it vanish into his body but felt nothing except an empty, aching agony in his chest.

Please let him be alright, please let him be alright, he gasped mentally. He swore he saw a little colour touching Severus' cheeks.

Severus made no sound for a long time until what seemed like an eternity for James Severus finally took in a small audible breath his eyes still closed as the healer continued to mutter spells over his belly and the blood from James continued to slowly enter his body his white skin slow turning back to his normal pale colour. Anyone who didn’t know Severus wouldn’t see the difference but James could, he had gazed upon Severus pale body so may times that could see the colour returning.

"Excellent," the healer said, breathing slowly. "The web is holding everything together as the potion knits it back in place. He'll be stable soon, if a bit weak. Just a bit more of your blood please, Mr Potter."

James nodded, watching as the glowing web of light she'd created over Severus' stomach throbbed before settling into his skin, fading slowly. She stepped back, wiping her sweaty brow and smiled at him in exhaustion. "Takes a lot out of you, those healing spells. Intense," she said, turning off the diagnostic charms for Hayley so that only the steady pulse of Severus' remained.

After a few more moments, the healer took the vial gently from his elbow, which felt sore but bore no mark when it was gone. "You did splendidly, Mr Potter," she said softly, before turning to remove the vial from Severus' arm. James watched her in numb silence as she spelled away the blood and fluids until the bed and Severus were both clean and fresh. The only sign of change left now were Severus' flat belly and the soft baby whimpers from across the room. 

Slowly, James slid his hand into Severus' again. His arm felt weak and useless but he needed to touch him, needed to reassure himself that those long fingers were warm with life. Only when he felt their warmth did he relax enough to look away from his boyfriend's face to the direction his daughter was complaining. 

His mum was in her element, walking in slow, rhythmic circles, bouncing the little pink bundle laying against her chest and murmuring soft platitudes. When she caught him looking, Abigail Potter smiled sheepishly and pushed the moses basket over to his side. "I wouldn't risk holding her until your arm has its strength back," she said, "but I'll lay her here, you can touch her still, it will help. She needs to be with you both." She glanced sadly at Severus, evidently feeling the same pang of distress that the man was not awake to hold his daughter. Setting Hayley down in the basket, she wrapped her arm snugly in the blankets and stepped back so James could stare down at her.

A lump rose in his throat as, with one hand still entwined with Severus', he reached out with the other to caress his baby girl's cheek. She was pink and wriggly with soft wispy dark brown hair. James couldn't really tell which of them she looked like, she just looked like a baby to him, with no one's features but her own. She was perfect. He only wished Severus were awake to see her. 

"Drink this pepper-up and blood replenisher mix," the healer said suddenly, breaking his reverie, waiting at his side until he downed the small shot. He winced at the taste.

"Give it ten minutes then you should be strong enough to support her weight," she said brightly. "Severus should wake up shortly. When he does let me know, I will just be down the hall washing up." 

James thought that was code for giving them a private moment, but he was grateful and nodded tiredly. "Thank you, healer, I really appreciate it," he breathed, torn between looking at his now quiet baby girl and Severus, who was still unconcious on the bed. He looked to his mother then. "Mum, will you tell Narcissa, Sirius and the others everything? I want to stay here and I don't really want anyone else in the room right now." He just wanted Severus to be awake and healthy and staring at their daughter with him.

“As you wish dear, I will tell them not to come in until you come and get them” Abigail Potter said as she gave him and smiled and rubbed his back before kissing his messy head of hair. “She really is beautiful sweetheart, congratulations both of you” she said lightly before turning and heading to the door opening and closing it quietly before heading down the hall to where everyone was waiting in the nursery.

The room sat quiet except of the occasional small sound from Hayley. It was 30 minutes before Severus himself gave a small murmur and his hand twitched around James’ his eyes still shut. His whole body ached and he felt like he had been trampled and stabbed all at the same time, but he realized it wasn’t as painful as his contractions and he let out a small breath. Another 10 minutes passed before Severus shifted his head on his pillow turning it to where he could feel James holding his hand as he slowly opened his tired eyes, shutting them a few times as he did so.

“…James…” Severus said in a small weak voice and he wondered if James had even heard his speak.

James' heart stuttered and he leant over Severus, squeezing his hand reassuringly, leaning across to brush his hair from his face. "Sev, I'm here. You're alright. Hayley's alright, it's going to be ok. The healer said you'll just be a bit weak but Hayley is so strong and beautiful. Merlin, Sev you have to see her." He leant in closer, overwhelmed with emotion and brushed a kiss to that cheek. As he did so, those lashes fluttered weakly.

"Shit...you're awake, I'm...I'm so-" He squeezed his hand, feeling emotion welling up, unable to express himself. "I thought I'd lost you," he breathed.

Severus blinked weakly as he looked at James still feeling weak and sore, he wanted to ask what happened but a part of him wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what happened as he caught a brief glimpse of James’ worried eyes.

“Are you…alright?” he asked looking at James and giving his hand a very light squeeze with the small amount of energy he had before closing his eyes again to tired to keep them open for long but still conscious of his surroundings. “Hayley…okay?”

James bit back the emotion that threatened to gush out. "You...your womb or whatever, it...it detached badly or something. You haemorraged - you nearly died they, they had to take my blood for you but you're going to be ok now. Just a bit weak while you recover." He smiled, a tired, emotional smile and glanced back to their daughter, who was silent with sleep, he thought. He stroked her cheek with the other hand.

"She is gorgeous Severus. Healthy and perfect. I need to tell the Healer what we want to name her officially so she can register her. You're sure of just Hayley Potter? Do you want a middle name or...?" He blinked down at their baby girl. "Want to hold her?"

Severus opened his eyes weakly to look at James blinking at him a few times before speaking. “Narcissa…and Lily…I want there names in hers…and I want her…to be Potter” he said, every word feeling like a great effort to him before he turned his head away James and looking at the other side of the room. “…and I don’t want to hold her” he said in a flat voice.

"Hayley Narcissa Lily Potter," James said, it was as good as done. "I'll let the Healer know when she comes back." He ignored the last part of Severus' words. He was always one to shy away from intimate situations, after all. He leant down, carefully scooping Hayley up, taking care to support his head as he did when he held baby Draco. Supporting her close to his chest, he moved closer to sit on the edge of Severus' back, angling so Severus could see her face.

"She's so calm. Even when she cried she was still calm. So small..." He nestled closer to Severus.

Severus moved awake from his with a wince and a small groan of pain his head still turned away from James and now baby Hayley as well. “I don’t…want to see her” he said taking a few struggled breaths as he moved along the bed a little more to put distance between him, James and Hayley as much a possible. He could bring himself to touch or even look at the baby that had been growing inside of him and causing him pain at every turn even if there were many good memories too, Severus just didn’t feel any attachment to her and she still belonged to James just as he had said right from the start, that hadn’t changed.

James froze, a frown furrowing his brow. He didn't move. "What...what do you mean?" he asked softly, voice cracking a little. "She's alright. I'll show you how to hold her. It's just like holding Draco and you held him just fine." He leant in a little closer, adjusting Hayley to try and slide her into Severus' arms. "Come on, she's ready for you."

“I said no James!” Severus yelled as he wrapped his arms around his ribs the effort of yelling hurting his insides as he continued not to look at James or Hayley. “Please…just take her away…I don’t want to see her” he said his voice shaking slightly and the hair that had fallen out of his ponytail covered his face from James’ view.

James did stand then, holding Hayley close to his chest, which felt like it was breaking, cracking straight down the middle. He ached. Hayley began to sob at the sudden shout from her other father and James started at the noise, uncertain. He glanced from her to Severus. "She...she's your daughter as well! I thought... You promised you would try! How can you try if you won't even look?!" Deep down he knew Severus was well within his rights to not want her, or him for that matter. But it hurt so much to see the man he loved turn away their daughter without a glimpse. To dismiss both of them as if the last few months hadn't existed.

Tears burned his eyes. "Severus. Please. Just...don't shut us out. Don't punish her for what I did. Don't throw the last few months away." His voice really did crack then.

“…it was a lie” he said in a shaky voice pulling up his knees and the sheets as he rested his head on his knees looking at the opposite wall away from James and Hayley. “It was all a lie…I kept you close…for my convenience and so you didn’t miss out on any little thing that Hayley did…I didn’t care” he said as he voice faulted slightly at his own words. “…I said right fro the start I didn’t want her…that you were going to be her sol parent when she was born…I meant that…Potter” the use of James last name stung but he didn’t know why, but this was his plan from the start and he wouldn’t go back on it.

Even though there was no way she could understand, Hayley gave a gurgling cry and James had to step away, even as he felt aching, throbbing pain lance his chest and twist his insides. He held Hayley close and bolted for the door, not wanting Severus to see him break. He just made it to his own room before he fell into wretched, gasping sobs as he pulled his daughter in close.

***

"Such a bonny little thing," Narcissa said as she rocked Hayley in her arms where she sat next to Severus on his bed. Lily and the others had been and gone, James was nowhere to be seen and at last she was having her visit with Severus, who would still not even look at his daughter.

"You really can't find it in yourself to try?" she asked neutrally, she had felt everything Severus had, after all. A baby had been forced on her too. She could not blame him for not wanting to become attached to the result of that. Severus wanted to run away from the pain, it would be harder to do that if he looked at his daughter's face and fell in love.

"Talk to me, Severus. It is me. There is nothing you can say that will shock me. We are alone."

Severus remained quiet still looking at the opposite wall as if something was there that know one else could see. “I don’t want to see her…I don’t want any connection with her. I meant what I had said 9 months ago you know, that I didn’t want her and that I would sign all rights to her over to James” he said leaning back against the soft pillows of the bed. “I’ve even been carrying the papers around in my back. I’ve had them in there for the last 2 months waiting for a chance to get James to sign them…but I thought it would be best to do it after she was born…and…a small part of me had hoped that she would have killed me, it would have made this easier” he said shutting his tired eyes for a moment before opening them again. “He will be a good father to Hayley, but I never wanted to be part of that family picture.”

Narcissa stared at him for a long time. "You truly hate yourself so much, don't you, Severus? To wish that your daughter had killed you, just so that you would not have to be faced with the fear of loving her?" She smiled sadly. "I will be here for you whatever you decide, my friend. But answer me this, do you do this because you believe you are not worthy of her, or because you don't want Potter? Because you don't want to be a father?"

“…it’s a bit of everything” he said quietly as he gripped at his white sheets. “I never want to be a father…or a mother however you want to look at it and I don’t know how I feel about James. I feel like I’ve just been using him this how time to make myself feel better…and I…I never wanted a child carrying my tainted blood so if I never look at her, I will never know her so if I ever passed her when she was older I wouldn’t know her and it would be better that way.”

"It is a difficult decision," she agreed, staring down at the tiny girl sleeping in her arms. "But then, the most important ones always are. Whatever you decide, I will support you, Severus." She gave him a tiny smile, then lowered the baby into the bassinet beside his bed. "I will leave her here for a moment, just in case you change your mind. I won't be long." With that, she departed, closing the door behind her.

Severus looked at the wall for a while before hearing Hayley make small noises near him and he turned his head slightly before quickly stopping himself. “No…I can’t look at her, I alright made the decision to give her to her father…I will never see her” he told himself even as his eyes started to water and she tried to shake them away remember one of his books said this would happen. It wasn’t that he would miss Hayley if he never knew her it was just the hormones he told himself even as the tears fell down his cheek.

“You daddy will love you Hayley…and give you everything you could ever want…I’m not need in your life” he said letting out a shuddering breath turning his head back to the way before seeing the picture frame on the bedside table. It was the picture Mr Potter had got of him and James in the garden when he had been on the swing his baby bump partially visible in the picture and Severus picket it up as new tears fell down his cheeks. “…I forgot about this picture…I’m sure your dad will show you this a lot in your life…so you will know who I was” he said placing the frame down on the opposite table near Hayley before leaning back against the headboard again and letting out a sigh as he tried to control his tears and breathing.

A sharp, piercing squeak sounded, making Severus jump. A small but forebodingly familiar tatty rat leapt up onto the seat Narcissa had vacated. Before Severus' widened eyes it morphed into a grim-faced, gaunt looking Peter Pettigrew. "Don't torture yourself Snape, it'll all be over soon," he said, holding the man's gaze for a moment, before reaching over to pluck Hayley awkwardly from her cradle.

“Put her down you rat!” Severus yelled even in his saw state as he leapt from the bed to take Hayley away from Pettigrew’s hold. After what he went though he was not going to let Pettigrew or Voldemort take Hayley away from James even as Pettigrew stepped away from Severus’ reaching hand and he stumbled on the carpeted floor slightly and he stood on trembling weak legs. “JAMES HELP!!” he yelled as loudly as he could even as he moved to take Hayley again this time managing to get a hold of the soft blanket she was wrapped in and she woke from all the yelled letting out a loud cry of sadness at being woken.

But before anyone could come to his aid, Pettigrew hefted Hayley into one clumsy arm and reached down, wrapping his fingers around Severus' wrist. "For what it's worth. I am sorry, Snape. For you, James and the baby." With that, they vanished with a loud crack of apparition.

***

"He wouldn't just go!" James protested through gritted teeth, storming down the stairs even as Lily, Remus and Narcissa flew down after him. "Even if he changed his mind about Hayley he wouldn't have just taken her!" He had peered into the room moments ago, about a half hour after Narcissa had left them to find Hayley and Severus both gone. "Didn't you see the room? The bed and bassinet weren't right, something happened!" he insisted as he reached for his cloak and wand. But as he slid his arm into his robe sleeve, he froze, staring down at his bracelet - the one linking him to Severus.

“I thank James id right” Narcissa said speaking up from the back of the group. “Severus was absolutely sure that he didn’t want anything to do with Hayley so I don’t believe that he would just run off with her, that and he was and is in know state to be moving anywhere at the moment” she said in a calm voice. “He’s not a coward to just run away if he changed his mind either.”

“Remus, Sirius. Couldn’t one of you…I don’t know, sniff around the room or something and see if anything smells out of the ordinary?” Lily asked as she looked at the pair hoping that if they knew something/anything it could help them to find Severus and Hayley even as James bracelet gave a single weak glow before going silent again.

"The bracelets are joined," James whispered, staring at the band around his wrist. "I can usually sort of...feel where he is." The surface of the bracelet was blank but he thought he knew what that meant. "He's somewhere where wards are stopping us apparating in. But maybe we can still track him?" He glanced to each of his friends. "Dumbledore will know what to do." He made a beeline for the fireplace in the lounge, but as his fingers dipped into the pot of floo powder, Remus' voice halted him.

"I smelled Peter in the bedroom upstairs," he called after James. "It was faint - he'd tried to hide his scent from us but when I walked into the room I could just about pick it up. He was the one that took them, James."

James grit his teeth, fist curling into the powder, which was spilling slightly over the stone hearth. "He made his choice then. If he stands between me and Severus and Hayley," he said slowly, uncertain how to finish that menacing sentence. He sighed. "Are you coming?"

Dumbledore was far too bright when they stepped into his office, James, Sirius, Lily and Remus. "Congratulations are in order I hear, my boy?" Dumbledore chimed kindly. "Severus and your young one well, I take it?"

James grimaced. "They were, before Peter took them - to Riddle, I'm guessing," he said darkly, watching the cheer drain from Dumbledore's wrinkled face. Not wanting to waste time, James held up his wrist to expose the bracelet. He felt numb. All he could think of was getting them back, there was no room to break down. No room for mourning. They weren't lost. Not yet. He could feel it. "Help me get them back, Sir."

Dumbledore regarded him carefully for a moment, then smiled. "Indeed, it is time my boy to commence with our plan. Let us make our move."

***

The room was dark and cold. Unnatural green light shone from somewhere above. Eerie and foreboding. Hayley was screaming where she lay wrapped in her blanket on the cold floor, wriggling unhappily where Peter had left her. Severus sat where he had been left too in this doorless cell. There was nothing in the room except a mildewed mattress and pot in the corner. No comforts, no natural light, no windows, no door. Just emptiness and Hayley's terrified screams to fill it.

Severus covered his ears hating to hear the sound of Hayley screaming the sound emphasized by the small room. “Please…please be quite” Severus murmured drawing his knee’s up as well but nothing seemed to block out the infants crying and he quickly gave up and came to a stand. “What do you want from me?! Do you want me to pick you up? Is that it?” he asked as he leaned down about to pick her up and he held her close to his chest before he realized what he had done. Not only had he picked up his daughter but he had actually looked at her and he had to admit to himself that she was beautiful just like James had said.

Severus looked at her as she cried and he gently bounced her in his arms like he had seen Narcissa do with Draco but the action didn’t seem to help. “What is it? What do you want?” he asked but knowing he would get know answer from the child as he looked around the empty room before an idea fell into his head and he looked at her for a while. “Are…are you hungry?” he asked but knowing that she must have been since she hadn’t been fed since she was born and Severus moved over the old dirty mattress and sat down on it leaning against the dirty wall as she moved his night gown. “This…this is just a one time thing alright, just until you dad finds us” he said moving her close to his chest and waiting for her to latch on, for a few long minutes nothing happened but soon enough Hayley excepted the nipple and fed hungrily leaving the room silent except for a single sigh from Severus and a few soft sounds from Hayley as she fed. 

Her cold body warmed against his as she drank greedily, making Severus wince a little with her voraciousness. Eventually she broke away and gave a small yawn, nestling contentedly against him. Warm, quiet, safe.

"How touching," a dark voice said. No door had appeared or opened but suddenly someone was striding forward in the dimness, pale face and dark hair illuminated by the eerie light. Tom Riddle stood over Severus and stared with a dangerous smile on his thin lips. "I do understand how she must feel. Rejection is a difficult thing to overcome. I myself, was quite distraught when you rejected me, Severus." He leant down, long thin fingers smoothing Hayley's dark locks from her forehead. "She is a beauty - who does she get that from, I wonder?"

“N-not me my lord” he said unable to make eye contact with the man as he pulled up his gown to over his chest even if there was nothing her could do about his exposed thighs and at that moment he really, REALLY hated the design of hospital gowns. “She’s…she’s her fathers daughter” he said wanted to move Hayley away from the mans touch not liking to see he being touched by someone so dark.

"Indeed. She has definitely had a narrow escape from that nose of yours, Severus. Pretty little thing," Riddle gave both Severus and Hayley a dangerous smile and did not withdraw his hand. "Interesting things, children. So fragile and helpless. Useless, in effect. But it is what they may grow to be, that concerns me. My dear Lucius unwittingly created my end, it seems. A prophecy, Severus. That a girl born to my enemy and my newest follower would be my undoing." He met Severus' eyes then, his crimson orbs dark and unsmiling. "You defected from the prophecy by not completing your initiation into my fold. But I cannot take the chance that your daughter might grow to be my end. It was also told that if I took her magic and her life - I would live forever."

Severus raised his head and looked at Voldemort with wide eyes. “Y-you can’t…please my lord she is…she is just a baby” he said looking at Voldemort even as he shook meeting the mans eyes, but he wasn’t going to just let Hayley be sacrificed when she hadn’t even been in the word for a day yet. Making a bold decision Severus moved and pulled Hayley up closer to his chest so Voldemort’s finger slid off her and where no longer touching her soft skin, he promised James that Hayley would stay with him and be loved and cared for by him and he wasn’t going to let her be taken from him.

Riddle cocked his head, regarding Severus with eerie amused, predatory interest. "It intrigues me that you would even care so, Severus - why, you didn't even want her, my little rat tells me? Hand her over to me, Severus and you can be free. We can put all this nasty business behind us." He reached for the baby.

Severus recoiled slight at the long reaching fingers. “…No” he said shakily knowing the name would be angered by his refusal but he couldn’t just hand Hayley over. “I…I promised James that she would live with him. She’s his daughter and I promised that she would go to him” he said glancing up into the pale face. “Also…what would the work think if they found out you killed a baby girl because you were…scared of her…why…why not just keep her close and train her as a follower, then her power would be your power” he said looking at Voldemort as he held Hayley close.

"Humankind is far to unpredictable," Riddle said dangerously. "There would always be the risk of betrayal and I have not gotten this far by taking risks." He straightened up then, backing slowly into the darkness. "If I spill her blood in the ritual tonight, I won't need followers. I will be indestructible. Perhaps you should make your peace with your daughter's existence while you can..." He stepped back until the darkness swallowed him up and he was gone.

“…Please hurry James” he whispered into the darkness as he held Hayley and his pegusi bracelet tightly feeling the beads dig into his hand but not caring. He needed to get out of this place, he needed to get Hayley home know matter the cost to his own safety. He want James to be proud that he had done everything he could have to return there daughter to him but he wished he had more time and also his wand.

***

If anyone had been able to track Severus through the connection of the bracelet, despite wards or dark magic interfering, it was Dumbledore. James didn't know how he'd done it, wasn't sure he wanted to know but he now knew why Tom Riddle seemed to fear Dumbledore where he feared no one else. There was nothing Dumbledore couldn't do and more than that, he inspired hope in people when all hope had faded.

James, Lily, Remus and Sirius all stood behind Dumbledore now facing the eerily still manor through the wrought-iron gates. The sky was still pink with the sunset but the house was dark. It sent a chill up James' spine. The Riddle house, the muggles in town had called it. Severus was in there somewhere and Hayley too, he hoped. He swallowed hard. "If Riddle hates his father so much, why is he here?" James asked, without really caring about the answer.

Dumbledore sighed, not looking away from the house atop the long, winding path. "I fear he is going to try something that may require his father's belongings, blood and treasures. The house also affords privacy and..." the old man seemed to wrinkle his nose with distaste as he added regretfully, "a plentiful supply of muggle sacrifices. We must move quickly."

"Look!" Sirius hissed, holding an arm out in front of James' chest and gesturing to the side of the lawn with the other. A young-ish looking gardener lay sprawled across the grass, his face wide with shock - eyes dead and staring up at the sky.

James moistening his dry lips. Shit. "You said Riddle murdered his father and grandparents?" he whispered. He felt, rather than saw Dumbledore's solemn nod. He could not look away from the gardener's dead eyes. He swallowed again. His throat was dry with horror. "He's going to kill Hayley, isn't he?"

“So how are we going to get in headmaster?” Sirius asked seriously as he looked at the cold body as well. “We have to get in there now somehow if that evil bastard really is going to do what we all think he is.”

“I agree, do you need us to cause a distraction?” Lily asked as well wanting to help in anyway she could. She didn’t want to think of her best friend and his daughter lying dead in a room somewhere because they weren’t fast enough to get to them.

"No distraction required, I assure you," Dumbledore said, before turning to James. "I trust you have your cloak, James?" 

James frowned but nodded, pulling it out from his cloak pocket. 

"Excellent. Put it on, will you? You will need to stay close to be but unnoticed," Dumbledore explained, looking to James' friends seriously. "James will need to move quickly and silently under the cloak, I am afraid that won't be possible with more than one person under it. We must leave you here to act as our cavalry, should all go wrong."

"We can't just let you go in there alone!" Sirius protested. "We can help!"

Dumbledore smiled still. "Indeed you must. When the wards drop, when Tom Riddle is dead, James will be weakened by the spell and may be surrounded by death eaters. He will need all of you to then cross the fallen wards and use the connection between your bracelets to find him quickly and get him, Severus and the baby to safety." He gave the Sirius, Lily and Remus a final stare to seal his orders, before looking back to James. "Ready, my boy?"

James nodded roughly, ignoring his friends' protests and sweeping the cloak over him. 

"Hide yourselves," Dumbledore urged the others, who began to complain again.

"For fucks' sake!" James hissed, cutting through their protests. "Severus and Hayley are running out of time! Shut up and trust Dumbledore! Do as he says and hide!"

Sirius, Lily and Remus all turned silent and James’ yell and after a moment gave him a nod even though they couldn’t see him and quickly ran to hide somewhere death eaters hopefully wouldn’t find them.

“James” Lily quickly called to the iron gates. “…please bring them back safely” she said even though she knew that James would, she just need to hear herself say the words out loud.

James exhaled shakily. "Ready when you are, Sir," he murmured and followed Dumbledore when the man stepped forward. He followed him around the perimeter until they came to a grand back gate, far from where the others were hiding. Dumbledore raised his wand and tapped leisurely on each bar of the iron gate. Each one vibrated and chimed warningly.

"There," Dumbledore said brightly. "That should do it. Remember stay hidden James, you need to wait for your moment. Once we're inside, bide your time, do not reveal yourself no matter what happens. Not until you have your moment to complete the ritual with me."

James' lips parted with speech, but before any words could leave him, the gates flew open and several masked death eaters were descending on Dumbledore.

“Stop right there!” one of the marked men yelled holding up his wand to Dumbledore. “What business do you have here? Do you even know where you are old man?” he asked with a sneak in his voice before a man behind him spoke.

“That’s not any old man, that is Albus Dumbledore the headmaster of the school, Hogwarts” he informed. “Some say he is also the greatest wizard of are time. The Dark Lord will be interested to know why he is here.”

“He is probably here for the traitor” chimed in another voice from there side this time. “You know the one. That kid with the greasy hair and the nose” he laughed as the rest of the group did. “Probably also here for that little brat of his. A Slytherin hooking up with Gryffindor and even living in a room with him I heard, what a slut” he said with a wicked smile.

"I am simply here to make negotiations with your Lord," Dumbledore said jovially, seemingly unperturbed at having his wand taken and his arms bound behind his back. "Do take care of my left arm, my boy," he said when one of the death eater's seized his arm roughly to steer him through the gates and up the path, "I am terribly ticklish there." If it were not such a serious situation, James might have laughed. As it was, he had to concentrate on not being heard or seen in his haste to follow them up to the house.

"...I am terribly sorry I did not give notice," Dumbledore was saying as he was marched in through the grand foyer and through a large archway. "Time didn't permit me, I am afraid. I do hope Tom has that splendid tea he used to enjoy at Professor Slughorn's parties..."

James followed them into a large dining room and scanned the long table. Tom Riddle sat at the head of it, watching with an impassive expression. Wormtail stood beside him, gaunt and cowed.

Voldemort raised his head from where they had been perched on his fingers and looked at Dumbledore not bother to rise from his chair to greet him. “Ah, so what my spy tells me is true. The great Dumbledore has come and graced me with his presence” he said slowly as he looked at the man before raising and hand and flicking it to tell the death eaters to leave.

“There, much better” he hissed. “Now tell me, what brings you here? If it is about the child I’m afraid the boy belongs to me and of course what’s his is mine as well” he said with an evil smile meaning Hayley belong to his as well like some sort of possession.

"I am here to bargain with you, Tom," Dumbledore said softly, "what can I give you that would make you release Severus and his daughter, alive and safe, back home?"

James concentrated on breathing quietly, moving around to stand near the middle of the table. When was the right moment? Should he wait until Riddle told them where Severus and Hayley were? Should he stun Riddle? How long would his magic be able to hold a dark wizard like him?

He didn't know what to do!

Voldemort looked at Dumbledore silently for a long time before rising from his chair the legs scraping against the hard floor as he did so. “There is nothing that you could give me in exchange for the pair. There lives are worth more to me than yours” he said moving around the table wand in hand.

“So you see, your coming here was pointless. The child and the boy belong to me and young Severus will be taught a lesson for his betrayal of me and he will be made an example of” he said in a calm voice as if he was just talking about the whether. 

Dumbledore sighed, as if disappointed that he would not be able to have his favourite biscuit with a cup of tea. "How are they both?" he asked in the end, conversationally. "I trust you are taking their delicacy into consideration? Severus just gave birth after all. Perhaps I might be able to...see them before you dispose of me?"

Voldemort glared at Dumbledore for a moment before nodded. “I see no reason for you not to, it is impossible for you to leave the wards even with all your magic” he said before turning and beginning to walk towards a corridor as Dumbledore and a well hidden James followed with Wormtail following close behind.

“And weather the boy has just given birth or not is of know concern to me, the boy will still be treated the same” he informed as they descended a flight of stairs and the temperature seemed to door and Dumbledore noticed the lack of windows leaving only fire lit torches to guide there way.

"One of your followers has my wand," Dumbledore said thoughtfully, "just in case you wanted to keep it as an heirloom of sorts."

James could not help but think Dumbledore was trying to drive home his helplessness in this situation as much as possible. He had no doubt that the ropes binding Dumbledore were the kind that suffocated the prisoner's magic as well. He suddenly felt entirely alone facing all of this and his stomach tightening the further down they went, the darker the stairs got. Magic ebbed at the walls and he knew Riddle had magically altered this space somewhat - this had originally been a muggle manor, after all.

He just hoped Severus was alright. And poor baby Hayley too.

Suddenly, the stairs stopped and they came to a flat stone landing that lead onto a brick wall with no door. James couldn't see from where he stood, behind both Dumbledore and Riddle under his cloak, but then the landing they stood on was enveloped with darkness, interrupted only with eerie green light. Green light and a tiny baby's fearful screams. Then Severus' voice, trying to soothe her sounds. 

James' insides tightened painfully as he listened.

“Shh it’s alright Hayley don’t cry…it’s going to be alright” Severus soothed lightly before seeing Voldemort and quickly backing into the corner of the wall on the mattress and holding Hayley close to his chest as she cried.

“It seems that you have a visitor in this moment Severus” he said looking down on him with piercing dark eyes and he reached out a hand to play with a strand of Severus hair making him shiver in fear. “Enjoy the visit while you can” he whispered before dropping the hair and stepping away to relieve Dumbledore and Severus eyes grew.

“H-Headmaster…what are you doing here?” he asked even though the question was a stupid one and he glanced around wondering if James had come with him but he could see know sign of the Gryffindor.

Dumbledore smiled reassuringly as he walking forward, as casually as if his arms weren't tied behind his back, his magic dampened by the magical restraints. "I was just visiting to see if dear Tom would accept me in your place, dear boy," he said brightly, awkwardly dropping down to take a seat on the edge of the mattress. "I'm afraid you and your little one are far more valuable than a crumbly old man." He leant forward, "let's see her then? Ah yes, beautiful." He angled himself to stare down into Hayley's tear-stained face, smiling happily.

James swallowed, seeing Dumbledore's thoughts written all over his face. He was glad to see her before the end came. James wondered if that's what Dumbledore had been waiting for to bring their plan into action...

He shifted closer as silently as possible to scan Severus and Hayley over. Both looked cold and scared but otherwise safe - for now. It allowed him to clear his head a little for what had to be done.

Riddle was standing to the side, watching Dumbledore, Severus and Hayley contemplatively. James tried not to let the hatred overwhelm him. He stared around the room. Magic wouldn't work here and he wasn't certain he'd be able to get back in here if Voldemort died before Severus and Hayley had escaped. James would have to wait until Riddle took all of them out here before he made a move.

“Headmaster you shouldn’t have come…it’s not safe here for you” he said in a low voice as he gave a shiver to the cold room and wrapped Hayley’s blanket more tightly around her trying to keep the cold away from small body as much as possible as Severus rubbed his frozen noses together. The hospital gown he wore did nothing to keep the cold from his skin. “I wish you could take Hayley away from this place headmaster” he said in a quiet voice as he held her close to his chest. “I don’t want her to die here...I promise James that she would stay with him. That they would have a happy life together…Hayley is a very special little girl to him.”

Dumbledore smiled sadly. "You are very special to James too, Severus. He's frantic looking for you both."

James couldn't help but notice the way Severus looked at Hayley now, the way he held her, as if she were precious, not just to him, James but to Severus himself as well. There was hope, if he could just get them out of here...

"Enough," came Riddle's cool, icy voice. "The sun has set. It is time. Dumbledore, perhaps you'd like to see one of your favourite students and his daughter die before you do?" Suddenly the room swirled, jerked, made James stagger and struggle to stay upright and concealed. He blinked and then they were outside. All of them.

A circle of masked death eaters was gathered in a graveyard around a stone altar, arranged before a decadent, ornate tomb. Riddle. Tom Riddle's father? Shit, was he planning to do with Hayley and Severus?

"Bring your daughter to the altar, Severus," Riddle said coolly as he himself stalked towards it, picking up a curved, serrated knife. The moon and unnatural light conjured to aid the ritual glistened off the runes carved into the blade. James swallowed, clenching his hand around his wand to fight against the urge to grab Severus and Hayley and run. He had to be strong. He had to wait.

Severus clenched his teeth and his legs shook and he didn’t think it was from the cold of the outside, he didn’t want to move, he didn’t want to take Hayley anywhere near Voldemort. He looked to Dumbledore his eyes almost pleading for help as one of the death eaters grabbed him roughly but the arm and pulled him up to stand.

“The Dark Lord gave you an order you worthless traitor” he hissed forcing Severus to move closer to the alter and where Voldemort stood, blade in hand and a frightening smile on his face. Severus shook holding Hayley close knowing there was nothing he could do, he was going to watch his daughter die and he would probably follow the same fate.

James felt panic rise in his throat like the ocean building into a tsunami. He gripped his wand and glanced around at the group. There were too many. He needed a distraction. There was no way he'd be able to perform the spell with Dumbledore with so many of them. And Hayley was in danger. Fuck. What was he going to do?

Suddenly, four blindingly bright lights charged into the graveyard. Glistening silver, dancing through the air as if alive and fluid all at once. They looked shapeless at first but James, having seen them before knew what they were. Patronuses - his friends' patronuses. They charged through the death eaters like dementors, blinding them, stilling them. A few flailed and cast hexes in a panic, hexes that hit some of their comrades and started chaos. James only just saw the shape of Lily, Remus, Sirius and Narcissa before he took his chance and flew forward.

"Stupefy!" he screamed and his spell slammed into Voldemort's unexpected chest, sending him keeling backward. That would give them a few moments. He threw off his cloak and seized Severus' arms, looking him and Hayley up and down, touching his face, meeting his gaze as his heart hammered. His friends were duelling around him, providing distraction but he had to be fast. "You alright?" he asked, "both of you?" he wrapped his cloak around Severus' shoulders to that only his head was visible, both his body and Hayley hidden from view.

“Y-yes…we’re alright” Severus said still shaking and flinching, shutting his eyes every time he heard a crack near him. “James you have to get out of here, please take Hayley and go” he said about to hand Hayley to him but James quickly shook his head and make sure that she stayed to Severus hold as a silver doe ran past the pair.

“I…I didn’t think that you would come…I…I thought you would come too late” he said as a spell flow towards them and hit Severus leg as he let out a cry of pain the cloak remain undamaged from the spell and Severus reached out a hand to James shoulder to stay standing upright.

"Shit," James cursed, reaching into his pocket and pushing Severus' wand into his hand. "I brought it for you, you left it on the nightstand, must not've had time to reach it when Wormtail..." He trailed off, the treachery of his once close friend too much to voice aloud. Carefully he pushed Severus and Hayley down behind the cover of the altar. "Stay here and when you feel strong enough, you apparate yourself and Hayley to my house, alright? Mum is expecting you." He stared at Severus a moment longer before leaning forward, brushing their lips together. The kiss was firm, desperate, afraid, loving. He cupped Severus' face and moulded their lips together before drawing back. "I know it's not what you want to hear but I love you. I love you and Hayley so much. I know you'll be an amazing dad." He leant down, kissed his daughter's forehead and then pulled the cloak completely over Severus to cover them. "Be safe."

With that, he cast a quick shield charm over them both that would remain until they apparated out and made a beeline to where Dumbledore had somehow managed to unbind himself and had disarmed two death eaters. "Ready?" James called out over the din. Adrenaline was pumping like electricity through his veins. It had to be now, before Voldemort moved, before he could second-guess himself.

“I think now would be a good time my boy, yes” he said looking at James as he held up a wand he was unfamiliar of but seemed to follow his command just as well as his own wand. “I think it would be wise if I start, you much keep the spells at bay while I chant, are you able to do this? Nothing my break my concentration” Dumbledore said as he looked at James knowing he was putting a lot of responsibility on the boys shoulders but also knowing he had know choice but to do so with his friends already involved and fighting there own battles with the death eaters.

"Yes sir," James said. They'd gone through this, he knew how it went. Dumbledore, as the one donating his power had to start the chant to link him to James. When James felt the connection, he had to pull on that power, drag it out of Dumbledore and cast the spell to turn all the deaths of Voldemort's victims against him - end him once and for all and Dumbledore too. James only prayed that becoming a murderer for the second time would not haunt him forever. He put it from his mind. If he thought, if he hesitated now, they would fail. He had to do this, for Hayley, Severus, for everyone - even if he didn't want to.

Dumbledore started chanting, the battle raged around them, Tom Riddle had not yet risen from the hex James had hit him with. James clenched his fist around his wand, waiting. It hit him like a punch in the chest, rushed through his veins like lava. Dumbledore's magic, so potent that his body shook with its ferocity. Fuck, it was burning him up. He screamed despite himself, cried out in pain, even as Dumbledore called "now, James!"

James grit his teeth, swallowed the tears of pain and raised his wand. His lips formed the spell, the senseless latin and all of the fire he felt building in his veins erupted from his wand, hurtling towards Riddle just as he rose to face him. It hit him straight in the stomach, lifting him clear off the ground and pinning him to the seraphic statue over his father's grave. It was Riddle's turn to scream now as all of his victims' pain burned his organs and limbs, carried and burned into him through Dumbledore's power.

James glanced to the side and saw Dumbledore's face, lined with pain and weariness. When the spell ended, when Voldemort was dead, Dumbledore would die too, with all his magic drained. Dumbledore would die to end Voldemort. James winced as the magic passing through him to Voldemort sizzled and gnawed at his flesh. Voldemort's own skin looked as if it were being eaten away by acid now, his mouth opened in a horrific scream that never ended. It was working!

It continued to work, burning and eating away at Voldemort's body with pure anguish. James did not let his attention stray but did glance to Dumbledore again. His grip on James was steadfast but his body was drooping. He had barely any life or magic left.

Suddenly, another voice was chanting, the exact same words Dumbledore had and then a smaller, chubbier hand had swatted Dumbledore's away and seized hold of James, offering themselves up for the power source instead, sparing Dumbledore's life. James' eyes widened but he did not let the spell on Voldemort fall, not for a second. "Wormtail?" he gasped through the pain as his magic began to rush through James now, pushing the agonised death toward their foe. "What are you doing? This will kill you!"

Wormtail just looked at James as he felt his power flowing into him and be directed to Voldemort. “I know this will kill me…but I had to make a mends for what I have done…to you…and to so many others. But especially you James” he said gripping onto James shoulder as he listened to Voldemort’s screams. “You are my friend and I betrayed you…I took Severus and your daughter and was more than happy to give them to the dark lord…but…I would never want to see you unhappy James. That why I want to change thing now…I’m sorry my friend.” 

James stared, pain making his mind reel. Adrenaline thumping through him. There were so many things that needed to be said, so many words and feelings and...there was just no time. His chest clenched and his hand slid up to grip Wormtail's. He saw a boy there that had done all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. A boy who was weak and had done horrible things out of fear. But he'd been his friend too for so long and now he was going to die, going to put himself in harm's way to save Dumbledore and help kill Voldemort.

"Thank you," James gasped, trying to pour everything he wanted to say into those two words. Magic swelled and drained out of his friend's small body. Voldemort's screams tapered into nothing and James felt red-hot tears streaking his cheeks as Peter crumpled, clinging to James as long as he could.

“I’m sorry my friend…for all I did…I hope you will be happy with…you family” Wormtail breathed though clenched teeth feeling his body growing week but keeping his hold on James just as firm as ever as he glanced over at the alter where the surge of power was making the cloak around Severus and Hayley move showing that Severus hadn’t had the energy to move from where they had been left or he was just to scared to move. “You really do have a wonderful family…my friend…I know you will make…wonderful memories with them.”

James' voice caught. Before he could find it again, the magic gave a final surge and Peter and Riddle both dropped to the ground at the same time. James staggered, unsteady after the push and pull of power had vanished so abruptly. He looked down at his fallen friend, eyes shut, face calm and peaceful as if asleep. James' chest hurt to look at him.

"Is Voldemort dead?" Remus gasped from where he stood, looping Dumbledore's arm around his neck, helping the weary old man to his feet. The old man was barely concious but he was alive. Peter had saved him. Sirius was beside Peter now, checking his pulse, his own face reflecting the pain James felt. 

James swallowed, letting his shaky, unsteady limbs carry him around the altar to Voldemort's fallen body. The remaining few death eaters who his friends had not knocked out or bound had fled at the sight of their master falling. The graveyard was eerily quiet, dark, illuminated only by the moon. Hayley was crying again, a sound that made James ache but he needed to see, needed to finish his task...

Voldemort was laying sprawled on the ground - or what was left of him. His bones and moist, charred tissue. James stared at it for a moment, before raising his wand. "Incendio!" he cried, burning the remains until there was nothing but dust. When it was done, he dropped to the ground and threw up everything in his stomach. It was done. It was over. They were all safe.

The sound of quiet bare feet on grass and dirt approached James before a gently hand touched his back and rubbed it softly. “I-It’s over now James” Severus said gently trying to help James recover himself from everything that had just happened as Hayley let out a cry from his other arm.

“We should go” Narcissa said from somewhere behind them, it wasn’t wise to stay longer than they had to and she wanted to get back to and make sure that Draco was still alright and asleep in his crib at the Potter home.

“James…are you alright?” Severus asked trying to not sit on his injured leg as he knelt down beside him and pulled off the hood of the invisibility cloak and opening it so Hayley wasn’t just left in the dark.

James couldn't find words. He was shaking all over now, gasping for air as tears streaked his cheeks. It just hurt, everything. He couldn't move and when Severus shifted beside him, James grabbed his robes, knotted his fingers in them, not wanting him or Hayley to go.

"Mr Lupin, if you and Miss Evans could perform a memory charm to remove the night's events from our captive?" Dumbledore said weakly. "I want them to remember nothing about your presence here. As far as anyone is ever going to know, I caused all the damage here. While the Ministry is certain to be only grateful for the removal of this threat, I think Mr Potter does not want to be dragged into this. Do this for me and take them home." Dumbledore leant against the altar, wheezed but upright, wand still clasped in his hand. "The aurors will be here any minute. Let me handle this. Off you go."

When everyone moved to comply, James pressed his face deeper into Severus' chest, feeling cold and shaky and weak. The last thing he heard was Hayley crying and Dumbledore's soft, gentle voice saying, "I am so proud of you. All of you." Then unconsciousness took him.

***

Severus had been at the Potter house for a few hours now, James had been placed in his room and Mrs Potter had been left to take care of Hayley while Severus bathed and changed into fresh clean clothes that he felt very grateful for before taking Hayley back and proceeding to the nursery after checking on James and leaving his door open in hopes that he would hear him when he woke.

“You have had a very busy first day of your life haven’t you baby girl?” he asked as he smiled down at Hayley and slowly walked around the room with her watching her doze on and off in his arms. “You and your daddy were both very brave. You are just like him you know” he smiled touching her dark hair as she let out a small whimper and he moved over to the elegant rocking chair that sat by the window allowing the warm sun in. “Know don’t tell your daddy I let you do this or he will probably say something” he said listening to Hayley start to cry and he undid his shirt and held her close to his chest to feed as he rocked lightly in the chair and let his eyes drift shut as she relaxed in the chair.

James winced as he awoke. The soft light of his bedside lamp stung his eyes and his entire body ached as if he'd been trampled by the herd of pegasi in the woods. Then he heard Hayley cry and the whole world came rushing back to him. Everything. Hayley, Severus, Peter, Voldemort...

He struggled to sit up. His body throbbed in negation but he managed it. He was in his own room and the house was warm and quiet aside from Hayley's crying. The clock at his bedside table said it was still the early hours of the morning. Struggling out of bed, he limped over to the nursery door and stopped dead at what he saw there. Hayley was now quiet and feeding from Severus as he rocked sleepily in the rocking chair. The man looked tired but clean and healthy now, warm and relaxed as the magical chair moved back and forth of its own accord.

James leant against the doorway and watched them, warmth filling the tense, aching pain the entire day had left inside him. It washed it all away.

Severus took in a breath before opening his eyes looking down at Hayley giving her a smile before sensing someone watching him in the door way and he turned his head quickly thinking someone else had come for Hayley but let out a sigh when he saw James. “…hi” he said lightly giving his a smile as he leaned back in the chair again. “I thought you would still be sleeping…you okay?” he asked forgetting what Hayley was doing so not feeling embarrassed that James could see.

James smiled. "I've felt better. It kills, you know, channelling all that magic through you? But I'm alive." He staggered forward, resting his arm along the back of the chair Severus was sitting in and looking down at them both. "You took care of her so well when you were taken. I was so bloody scared for both of you. I don't know what I would've done if anything had happened to either of you..." His voice broke a little at the end and he winced at the sound of it, reaching down to stroke Hayley's cheek, then brush Severus' hair, still damp from his bath, out of his face. "You alright? That arsehole didn't hurt you?"

“No…he didn’t do anything. Just scared me” he said looking at James before conjuring a chair next to his and offering it to James seeing he wasn’t very steady on his feet. “To tell the truth, I was scared, scared that you wouldn’t find up in time. I did everything I could to keep he safe and warm when we were thrown into that cell” he said looking down at Hayley and giving a small blush when he realized James was seeing him breast feeding but tried to push the thought from his mind.

"You held it all together," James said proudly. "And after all you went through as well. With the birth and everything..." At that moment Hayley opened her eyes and blinked sleepily at them. Yawning widely. She nestled into Severus' chest and seemed to relax. James beamed. His family wasn't finished with its trials he was sure, but they were safe and content. "She has such lovely eyes. They must be yours."

Severus smiled, “I guess she finally got something from me then” he smiled at James. “And you know, I had a lot of time to think while I was in the cell with Hayley…I wasn’t just worried about. You not making it there in time…I was worried that I would never get to see YOU again…to have this” he said looking between James and Hayley.

James leant forwards and brushed his knuckles against Severus', staring at his face. "I love you both," he whispered, "so much. And I'm not saying it'll be easy or we won't argue but I... I want to try, I hope you want to as well. And if you don't, or if you do and it doesn't work, it doesn't mean either of us have to lose Hayley. There are thousands of separated parents in the world. I'd never take her from you - she loves you, needs you and..." he smiled softly. "I know you love her too, Severus and it's okay." He squeezed his hand. "But I'll do everything in my power to make this work."

Severus gave him a small smile as he lifted his wand. “You know, I think you dad was right when he said we complete each other and I want to show you something” he said pointing his want to a small clearing in the room and murmuring a spell as a silver light escaped from his want and came to stand in the middle of the room and he looked at James. “…my doe to your stag” he said looking at the silver form of his patronus as it stood looking at the pair as Severus looked at James wondering what he would say.

James stared at the silvery beast, his mouth dry. He'd seen the stag in the battle but he hadn't thought of it until now who's it might be. He stared into Severus' eyes, fingers reaching out to curl and grip his lover's pyjama sleeve. "What was your happy memory?" he asked softly, leaning on his chair so that he could rest his stubbly cheek against Severus' hand and stare up at him.

Severus gave a small smile as he looked at James. “Do you remember…that first night you spent in my room and we just sat on the bed talking about…everything? The good stuff and the bad” he asked looking at James. “Well…that was a happy memory for me. No one had ever just sat and talked with me about…my past, what things I liked, scared me. That moment was just…something I could never forget…and I knew that you weren’t just there for Hayley, you where there for me as well to make sure I was alright with all of this and…” Severus trail off he didn’t know what more he could say to show how much those times spent in his room at Hogwarts meant to him.

James turned his head to kiss Severus' arm gently, then glanced down at a sleeping Hayley. She was so peaceful, pink-faced and content in Severus' arms. A little miracle after all she had endured. "Come lay on the bed with me? All of us?" He was so exhausted, emotionally and physically. He just wanted his family close.

“Alright then” Severus said close the shirt over his chest before standing still a little weak on his legs but knowing he could make it the short distance to the bed. Reaching it Severus gently laid Hayley down in the middle of the soft blanket covered bed before lying down next to her as she let out a small noise at being put down but quickly settled again. “Shh its okay, daddy just wants us on the bed it’s okay” he soothed as he stroked her belly. 

"She's going to be a little madam, fussing every time she gets put down - just like Draco. Spoilt, the pair of them," James mused, lying down on the other side of Hayley, facing both her and Severus. He propped his head up on his hand and stared at them both. "Will you and Hayley stay here for a little while?" he asked, stroking his daughter's chubby little cheek until she drifted again, before brushing Severus' hair away from his face. "If you don't want to stay here forever we can buy a flat or whatever you want. Or we can live separately or..." He smiled, not knowing what to say for the best. "Whatever you want to do, we can do it. Just tell me."

Severus looked at James before leaning into the hand that was on his cheek holding his hair out of the way. “I…I want us to stay here” he said lightly as he looked into James eyes. The last 24 hours had made his realize a lot, about Hayley and about James as well. “I want us to stay together…and be a family…in 12 years I want us to be standing on platform 9 ¾ waving Hayley off to her first day at Hogwarts together.”

James' eyes stung. He smiled breathlessly and craned his neck to brush his lips over Severus', slowly, meaningfully. "That sounds like heaven," James smirked between kisses. When he could feel Severus' cheeks burning from the intimacy, he drew back, sliding down to rest his head on the pillow. "I do love you. More than anything, you and Hayley. You're everything to me."

“And I…” Severus started before his eyes started to water and was unable to look at James as he burred his face in a pillow trying to wipe his tears away before looking at his again but the tears didn’t seem to want to stop. “And I…I…I love you…as well…I’m sorry it took me so long to say” he said trying to smile though the tears. “I…I always loved you…I just…didn’t want to admit it.”

James beamed and swore his eyes were burning, brimming with hot, exhausted, emotional tears. He slid one arm round Hayley's tiny sleeping body and slid the other hand out to cup Severus' neck, bringing their foreheads together. He breathed him in slowly, closing his eyes and just relishing his warmth and the gentle echo of his words in his mind, over and over. He couldn't think of anything else to say or any other way to respond, other than to hold his family close as they drifted off together.

\--3 years later--

Severus walked though the halls of the Potter house that day dodging small children as they ran around laughing and playing with each other. It had been 3 years and Severus really felt at home in the Potter house as he walked out into the warm garden placing drinks on a table for the children to take as they played before having one grab his leg. “Mummy where have you been? You were gone forever!” Hayley said looking up at Severus, he had given up correcting her knowing he would never win just being called dad.

“I was only gone for 5 minutes Hayley. Now go play with your friends okay, grandma is going to be bringing your birthday cake out in a while and she worked really hard on it so you have to say thank you when she does alright” he smiled as Hayley nodded with a big smile before running off to find Draco and tell him about her cake.

Severus smiled as he made his way over to a swing chair and sat down next to James pulling up his bare feet onto the swing cushions. “I cant believe how quickly she is growing up, kind of scary don’t you think?” he asked resting his head on James’ shoulder as he smiled at all the kids running in and out of the house and watching Nibbles the house left laugh and play games with them as well, at times like these she seemed like a much younger elf.

James smiled, leaning back a little on the swing to make more room for Severus. He looped an arm around his shoulders and kissed his head. "Moony and Lily will be by later - we're their first stop since they got back from their honeymoon, told you they wouldn't miss Little Madam's birthday. Bet they've brought back an obscene amount of presents for her. She's so spoiled. You know my parents actually bought her a unicorn? An actual bloody unicorn?" He laughed good-naturedly, pushing at the ground with one foot so that the swing swayed gently.

“Well I don’t think we will be letting her ride that for a long time yet” Severus said with a small laugh. “And I wonder what the pegasi will think of that, having a unicorn around here” he smiled at the though and imaging them all looking at it like some sort of invader to there space. “And I think we really have to start telling everyone not to spoil her so much or everyone will think she’s a snob when she is older” he said watching her run out of the house with Draco looking very excited about something. “Oh. She has either found the unicorn or I think your mom is bring out the cake” he giggled not wanting to get up after finally being able to rest his feet for a moment.

Allen Potter headed out, herding Hayley and Draco further into the garden, followed by Sirius, Narcissa, Remus and Lily. They all walked toward the swing, the garden bathed in beautiful sunlight. "Look at these two giants!" Lily chimed, sweeping Hayley up into one arm and Draco with the other at the same time. She kissed them both before looking at Hayley, eyes bright. "Who is turning three today then? Didn't I say I'd be home for your birthday?"

"Bet she got us big presents!" Draco said excitedly, wriggling in her grasp so that Remus had to come and snatch him up for his turn for a hug before the child fell. "Remy and Lily always bring us the best presents!"

"Is that so?" Remus said brightly, "well I have it on very good authority that presents come after the cake."

"And the cake is coming now," Sirius said, spying Abigail Potter, frail but with life still in her, helped along by Nibbles with the cake floating in front of them. 

James felt warmth burst in his chest at the sight of Hayley's dark eyes going wide with delight. She slid down Lily's body and hurried over to sit with him and Severus. As the cake drew nearer, everyone started to sing. Candles burned jovially at the top of the rainbow-hued icing, the three tiers coming to a halt in front of them. Hayley bounced in Severus' laps, excitedly waiting for them to finish singing so she could make her wish and blow out her candles.

“Alright Hayley the part you’ve been waiting for. Now make a wish” Severus said with a smile hoping that her wish wasn’t to strange this time around as last years one happened. But he quickly shook the memory as Hayley thought for a moment before blowing out all her candles and everyone clapped with big smiles.

“Thank you for my cake grandma it’s the best!” she cheered waving her arms around excitedly loving when her grandmother made cakes because they always tasted the best out of everyone’s and she believed she must put a little magic into all of them.

“Why don’t I take this now and put it on the table and we can start opening some presents while I cut this” Remus smiled taking the cake seeing it starting to lean and wobble where Abigail’s magic was starting to weaken. “I must say you really outdid yourself this year Mrs Potter” he smiled starting to walk to the table.

“YAY PRESENTS!!” Hayley yelled scrabbling down from Severus lap. “Mummy, Daddy you have to come watching me open presents to” she smiled at her parents as she seemed to bounce on the spot torn between waiting for her parents and going and opening presents and eating cake.

“Don’t worry we are defiantly not going to miss you opening presents” Severus smiled at her as he moved to feel the grass on his feet again. “I just need to have a quick talk with your daddy and then we will be there alright. Make sure your uncle Sirius doesn’t eat all the cake before we get there alright” he laughed as Hayley gave a nod and ran across the garden obviously to tell Sirius not to eat all the cake as he gave an offended look at her before turning his head to look at the pair and Severus just smiled at him.

James blinked at Severus in confusion, sitting forward on the swing. "What's the matter?" he asked, glancing across the garden to where everyone was gathering around the picnic table. Hayley and Draco were bouncing up and down, waiting for Allen Potter to fetch their present to Hayley. Oh Merlin, James was dreading this...

"You alright?" he asked Severus.

“Yes I’m fine don’t worry” Severus said giving James a warm smiled as he reached into his pocket. “I just…have a present for you as well. But I wanted to talk to you about it since it’s up to you if you want it or not” he said as he watched James raise a brow at him before pulling out a small vile from him pocket and holding it up to James showing his the clear liquid inside. “I…I made this myself don’t ask me how I just did okay…I want to do things right this time around James. With this we could add another little member to are family, I know I scared you when I had Hayley but it wont happen again” he said as he looked into James eyes still holding up the vile to him. “…but it’s up to you. This is your present…so what do you think?” he asked a little hesitant.

James stared at the vial for a moment. Of course he'd never seen the original that Malfoy had slipped Severus but he knew from Severus' words what it must be. He reached out, running his thumb over the surface of the little glass bottle before looking back up to Severus. "I...I love you and Hayley," he said seriously. "I love our family. I... Of course I would love another baby but I don't...I only want you to be happy. I'm happy as we are now if this isn't really what you want. You were so unhappy when you were pregnant before..."

“Well…that’s because Hayley was never planned and we didn’t exactly bring her into existence in the best way either” he said looking at James thinking of there time back in the bathroom at Hogwarts. “And of course I love you and Hayley as well. But I also think it would be really nice to add a new little one to are family and I think Hayley should get to have a little brother or sister…just like Draco is. Narcissa hasn’t said anything but I can see her glowing and it’s not just from the sun” he said with a smile glancing over at her before looking back to James. “…so what do you think?”

James studied his face carefully, searching his lover's face. All he could see was longing. "You really want this?" he asked softly, taking both of Severus' hands in his, covering the small vial at the same time. Severus just smiled at him in response, the honest, pure kind of smile he gave so often these days. James beamed, leaning forward to bring their lips together, swiftly and sweetly. "Tonight then," he agreed.

“Someone sure is in a hurry” he smiled at James before giving a giggle. “I think after today we will be to tired to do anything. Hayley sure wont go to sleep easily tonight with all the sugar she’s had. Maybe we can start tomorrow instead, see if someone doesn’t mind have her for the day and maybe even a little sleep over” he smiled giving James a wink. “Then we can go out of the day and then have a bath together. Before working on this little one” he said rolling the vial in his and James’ hand. 

"Are you joking?" James laughed, snatching the vial and pocketing it, helping Severus to his feet and heading toward the table. "They fight over babysitting rights. We don't let them have her enough in their opinion." He beamed at the sight of their little girl's face when his dad lead the unicorn round the corner, complete with a ribbon round its neck. Draco and Hayley were practically starry-eyed. it was beautiful.

"Do you reckon little Hayley would prefer a brother or sister?" he asked, lowering his voice as they joined the others at the table so only Severus could hear.

“I hope we have a boy” he whispered back with a smiled before looking at James. “Then you have a little boy to carry on the Potter line…I even have a name picked out for him alright” he said as he watched Hayley and Draco stroking the unicorn and feeding it little treats as they giggled at the feeling of it eating from there hands. “What do you think about having a son? Or maybe just having two little girls to love all over?”

James smiled at the sight of their daughter and at Severus' words, leaning in to kiss his lover's head. "Either would be perfect. I am intrigued what boy name you want though." He glanced surreptitiously to Narcissa and Sirius. He was subtly brushing his hand across her belly. With any luck they would have a girl and Severus would have a boy so it would be even. He thought Hayley would be pleased either way. She already saw Draco everyday as it was...

Then there was his own mum and dad, who would be so thrilled to have more children running around. His mum and dad who'd improved so much in health since Hayley's birth - her life infectious.

Severus smiled seeing James eyes drift to Narcissa and Sirius. “I thought, that if we have a little boy…we could call him Harry James Potter” he said with a smile as he reached out to hold James’ hand. “Keep the name James in the family since I know it’s your dads middle name. That and I like the name” he said trying to hold back a laugh. “But is up to you as well. I thought you don’t have to go with Harry Potter if you don’t like it. But this way he also matches Hayley…little Hayley and Harry Potter”

James beamed, eyes feeling very moist as he leant in to kiss Severus' lips that time. "I think it's perfect.” At that moment, Hayley came barreling towards them, taking a flying leap up into Severus' arms. "Did you see what Nana and Grandpa got me? A whole unicorn! They adopted it they did! From the sanctuary. Nana and Grandpa say I have to brush and feed and walk it every day! One day I might be able to ride it, can I? Can I?"

“Well your Nana and Grandpa have never lied to you before have they?” he asked kissing his daughters cheek. “But you have to take very good care of her okay? She belongs to you and it’s up to you to look after her not someone else, Draco can help you of course though” he smiled. “I hope you gave them both a big kiss and cuddle for getting her for you” he said raising a brow before smiling at her. “And how would you like to have a sleep over at someone’s house tomorrow? You can pick anyone you like.”

Hayley looked thoughtful, staring across those gathered around the table, seemingly uncertain. "Aunt Lily and Uncle Remy," she said in the end, beaming with rosy cheeks and dark, unruly hair. "I see Draco and Aunt Cissy and Uncle Siri tomorrow daytime at group." James laughed. "Guess you'll be seeing everyone then," he said, ruffling her hair and meeting Severus' eyes. He had a feeling that, between his daughter's birthday and the gift Severus had in store for him tomorrow, he'd be having one of the best weekends of his life.

“Well why don’t you go tell them the good news so they can have your room all ready for you” he smiled placing her back down on the grass and giving her a little push towards them before she ran off and jumped into Remus’ arms. “I wonder what Hayley will think about having a baby around the house” he smiled before holding out the vial and looking at it. “I hope it works, it was my first time making it and the longest potion I have every taken to make. 1 whole year to takes to make this, I guess we will see how good I am in a few weeks” he smiled as James.

James beamed. "You could brew it with your eyes closed," he said with confidence he truly felt. If Severus made it himself, there really was nothing to worry about. He made Remus' wolfsbane potions and the potions that helped his parents and a daily basis. His grin turned mischievous then. "I don't mind practice if it requires it though."

“Oh know not all” he said with a playful smile as he kiss James lips and leaned into him. “But I’m pretty sure you are still up to scratch” he winked holding back a laugh before taking James’ hand and resting it on his flat belly. “Soon we will have a new little one in here and I will get all fat again…but I guess that means you will have a lot more of me to love then like before” he smiled stroking the hand on his belly with his thumb. “But you know making the baby is the fun part.”

James gave him his boyish grin, thinking of how far Severus had come in the last few years to be able to say something like that with such confidence, comfort and good humour. Hayley was tearing into her other presents now happily from her grandfather's lap. James sat beside Severus on the end of the bench and watched her, looping his arms around him and resting his chin on Severus' shoulder.

Severus smiled leaning his head on James’ and nuzzled at his messy hair. “I hope everyday will be like this from now on” he smiled touching James’ bracelet and smiling at how happy he was that it had lasted for so many years that’s to how strong pegasi hair was. “I hope that we will always be happy with a little family and this garden will be full of laughing kids and are friends” he smiled looking over to the swing and imagining Hayley pushing a small boy with messy dark hair and then further into the future where Draco might be pushing Hayley on there visit back from Hogwarts on there holidays. “This is all I could ask for and more, just being here with you and are family. I love you James Potter.”

The End


End file.
